How to End a Relationship with a Toxic Person who Makes Your Life Miserable/Lisa A. Romano
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 1 ต.ค. 2024
- How to end a relationship with a toxic person who makes your life miserable while you save your sanity. Life Coach Lisa A. Romano Codependency Recovery Expert www.lisaaroman...
Learning how to end a relationship with a toxic person who has high narcissism, or high narcissistic traits, is never easy. It takes time to identify what is really happening in a toxic relationship, and to figure out where to turn next. In this TH-cam video on how to end a relationship with a toxic person, Lisa A. Romano Breakthrough Life Coach, helps you get clear about what a toxic relationship is and how you can end it.
Part two of this video you will learn more about how codependency can prevent you from manifesting a healthy relationship. Codependency recovery takes a tremendous amount of bravery, patience, and commitment. Healing from codependency, requires you to question every thought you think so you can reprogram the subconscious mind for healthier relationships in the future.
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Lisa A. Romano is a Life Coach and bestselling author who specializes in helping people reclaim their lives through ascending old thought patterns and healing faulty childhood subconscious programs. She is an expert in the fields of codependency, narcissistic abuse, and elevating consciousness. She is also one of the most popular meditation teachers on Insight Timer and is the creator of the 12 Week Breakthrough Coaching Program. If you feel invisible, unworthy, and lack a sense of self or purpose, Lisa's work in the field of personal development can help you gain the self-awareness required to breakthrough.
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Nailed it again Lisa. Post narcissistic abuse recovery is where I think most of us who are seeking your information are 'stuck'. I personally am stuck in the post discard phase of trying to find a way to forgive myself for missing all the red flags through the 3 years with her where in hindsight I see now I was subtly transformed.
Logically and intellectually I have learned enough through my own experience with her and through post discard that I feel by now I should have had a liberating 'Ah Ha!' epiphany, and no longer have the constant daily brain clutter of constant repetitive over-analyzing. I truly get angry at myself for doing that because I'm fully aware of all the 'how's and why's' of how I got where I am, and that after the discard where she went directly into a new source she'd been grooming; that she most likely hasn't put even 5 minutes into thinking of me and where it went wrong.
I'm not sure if you have a video relating specifically to where I'm stuck or if that information is buried in another one you've made but if there is one I'd sure like to know. I feel so close to breathing the fresh air of post narcissistic/toxic relationship but I just can't seem to get the stuck window open to let it in.
That is it exactly
I found that I had to consciously replace the bad experience with a good and completely different experience. For example, a person could begin a new hobby that they always wanted to do or plan a trip to a place they have never been before. Then when the old thoughts enter your mind, you "switch" your thoughts to the new thing and focus on it because it is fun and interesting to think about. In other words, replace the old experience with a good experience of any kind and replace the old thoughts thoughts of some fun project I would work on. That's what worked for me.
The crazy thing is we are left to ruminate about it in endless thought loops and they’re telling everyone we are the reason the relationship didn’t work out. It took me awhile to realize that they REALLY believe all of their failed relationships are everyone else’s fault! They are so egocentric they can’t even see past themselves. I heard it once said “The best revenge is living well.” That’s what I intend to try to do once I get out of here.😫😑
I had to literally retrain my brain, its not easy and it shouldn't be because thats just what your use to stay strong it does get better 😘
@@ElaineFoster101 I don’t
A relationship with a narcissist:
Pull you in. Push you away. Pull you in. Push you away. Pull you in. Push you away...
You never know which one it will be at any given moment so you're always anxious.
At the very first sign of toxicity, leave, it won't get better.
Put yourself first.
So confusing ... & draining azz h***
Yep it’s like living with Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde...
100% - accurate - you like fish on the hoock for them and they bate us all with fake kindness.
We need ti bite the string truh geth free - swimm away, pool theyr hoock aut and heal.
+ Be aware to not take a other bite.
Yes Damned if you Do Damned if you Don’t. Pick One.
My experience too. Yet I did the definition of insanity of doing the same thing and expecting different results each time. Now that's in my rear view mirror. Thank god, once and for all!
We were just taught (brainwashed) to be too nice. To always put yourself last. This leads to a lot of unhappiness. Thank you Lisa for helping us.
I did that all of my life, Put myself last all the time, now I am all broken and can't function anymore.
I listen to your videos everyday in order to remind myself not to go back to her. Thank you for this.
What was your experiences with her?
Mine has destroyed my spirit and made me feel everything I did for her was wrong.
@@Gippslanddroneflyers wqwwwwww
@@Gippslanddroneflyers I wanted to kill myself
I hope you will find the right tools, therapies to heal. Trauma release exercises are good. Mental CBT as well as attending CoDA may help you. I began CoDA meetings again as I fell back into codependency and loneliness. All the best!!
what happend whisky:(
My mom would say to me that I was a mistake when I was born was it hit me so hard, I started searching at 47 and I would find out my mom and dad were narcissist then I would marry my husband of 33 years my husband would say to me that my demon doesn’t like him that’s when I was getting scared of him I left him 5 months ago I’m finally finding my peace and freedom at 56
"my demon"
Metaphor or ..?
I'm 63. Just getting my life started now
Keep going angel
me too -left after 38 years,,,so happy now
I’m trying to leave my 18 year marriage and he told me similar on the honeymoon, that I was a demon or had a demon that entered him and his life. I was told that I am insane and disturbed (by demons). I feel your words
Thank you Lisa!
you are precious, you are a gem, you shine, you share vital information. Been through hell and back! Thank you so much for sharing from the heart and mind and ...soul.
My bpd covert narcissistic mother always says that to me whem I feel sad and frustrated about my romantic relationships......"what you want doesn't exist. Look around you." OMG. They are like a breed.....doesn't matter their culture,age,sex.....they all think alike🤔Thank you very much for this awesome video. Have a great week end💛🤍🙏
thats cause she's miserable and doesn't believe it exists, she's attempting to lay her idea's in your head for u to find them as factual and true & not giving light to the possibility you might have had some bad chance happening relationships...probably derivative of her raising you, no offense to you, but that may reflect on her & she would never acknowledge accountability for assisting your thinking, i mean look at her now trying to still convince you "happiness doesn't exist, dont u get it! be content or miserable like I am, its the only way to live"
@@CstWstFllwer Totally agree. Thanks for your comment🙂
You have to be persistent in seeking support because others will tend to blame you especially if the toxic person is your own mother.
My mother never took my side once in my life
@@dianawelles1726 my mother absolutely hates the kindness and goodness in me. always sides with the abusers.
My mother only cares about herself. Sad but true. There’s always the next lifetime to get it! 😂
my mom takes the side of the public. figuring it has to do with me why i was let go. then u find out that manager that let me go later was embezzling $40k from the company & got fired, also the other manager from the other place eventually soon left and half the employee's didn't like his narcissistic controlling style of managing, but my mom will always conclude "well must be something wrong with you". Its like im fighting to stick up for myself. She always side's with my stepdad on whatever he says, like his guard dog, which I get it women be loyal to there husband's stand in there corner, but im always to blame, there's no rationing maybe what hes saying has some validity. I am 36yrs old, not 15.
This is one of the hardest narcs to deal with.
Do Not feed the Monsters Thank you Lisa
My God. I have no words. When I listen to her, I am boiling, angry and sad that I put up with every single word that she is saying for 45 years with my family members. I want cry and yell. Why I endured it? Why?
I am the same and at 65 I am so sad I have few years left to find a healthy relationship.
Do not blame yourself, you are not to blame, you just need to learn to say NO...I said No I will not be with him no more, It was after I was betrayed, talked about and neighbor had private information on what happens in my house but Staying shut with me, long talks to all other's even random neighbors or association...It was all brought to light by Jeh God after I was back in my house, all done in dark comes to light, I had no idea how much I was being talked about over 24 year's of TOXIC diarrhea..
I have the same feelings, listening to this and other video's. I literally have a pit in my stomach right now.
You put up with it because it helped develop your awesome character
I grew up in a home of two dispassionate and passive intellectual parents that did not love each other equally. I learned subconsciously that some level of drama and excitement must be true love and because I outright learned tolerance rather than boundaries and worth, the cycle began in unhealthy relationships with narcissists who took advantage of me. I found my worth. Your videos continue to help me with my recovery.
Ditto. I bet that you learned from them that your worth solely comes from performing/achieving, and love has to be ‘earned’. I bet they also critiqued people solely on their intellectual ability. Sending big ❤️
Ditto..l. A very similar childhood to mine....
Your videos are the most profound, heartfelt, authentic, and educational videos on the topic of narcissistic abuse. Thank you Lisa for helping me and helping so many people 💜
What you where describing in the beggining is EXACTLY how I felt. Suffocated, like I didnt have control of my own life, just wanted space. then I was demonized for distancing myself from the toxic person. Your vidoes help me so much, thank you!
Same here. Always demonised for try to get away from him. Crazy! Am out and healing
Wow.... brilliant!!!
I’m learning sooooo much at 63 yrs.
Thank you Thank you Thank you!!❣️
This should be a required course in high school. 😕
(LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SEE THE TREASURE YOU FOUND)
I'm 63. Thankful to find out what was going on. Got that at 61. That's how long I've been working in the right direction finally
Same here ~ Same age. Finally an epiphany.
When my ex and I were trying to navigate if we should divorce, he had complained because I had wanted to go back to school (I had put it off while he went to night school. Wrote many of his papers etc.). I asked "don't you want me to be happy?" I will never forget his response. "I never think about your happiness." 😳
Oh, that's horrible!
Reminds me of my narcissistic mother. If I said that she hurt my feelings with all her yelling, name calling, etc. her answer was to become enraged and scream: "Your FEELINGS!!!??? Your FEELINGS!!!?? I don't care about your FEELINGS!!!"
@@lauriej.5706 Oh I can't imagine. I'm so sorry that was your experience. Hugs.
Hugs ❣️ please don't give up trying to recover
You are an amazing soul and if he doesn't care, just know there are many strangers who pray and meditate for everyone on the planet to have a beautiful, fulfilling existence and amazing mental health and full sovereignty. I care and pray for your happiness 🤗 but yes, most humans are a bit narccy and we need to learn discernment and detachment and it will all heal with the right support and healing in place
Pull your energy back and drain then reminds me of a keto diet to starve cancer of it's fuel which is sugar.
It’s so hard...I’m recovering from both narcs and sugar✌️
You are so wise. Why does it hurt so much to become wise . I'm not there but I'm learning.
The horse died. The prince fell off. Ain't nobody coming". My mantra for therapy
A Clear metaphor 😏
🤣🤣
The horse ran away free🐎 AFTER kicking the narcissist off....we are the horse 😊
I have now become the person who doesn’t support or isnt impressed with any achievements from my narc husband. I have become cold and bitter to him. I carry so much resentment that I don’t want to be his cheerleader, don’t want to go on dates and frankly have nothing in common with him. I think I changed throughout the years (slowly built a wall) and he has stayed the same. I now feel guilty about this because I’m not who I was. It makes me sad and resentful especially because we have three young children. Trying to either get to a point where his actions (past and present) no longer bother me or get out of the marriage. He tries to be affectionate to me, asks me to go on dates, etc but I feel done and tired. Is it too late?
@vanessa At this point, I realize that Lisa hearts our comments, but doesn’t respond because we will be able to have discussions with her when we subscribe to her plan. Rightfully so. I will pay the $49 so I can get the information I want, that’s cheaper than counseling. But I am where you are.
@@AbsolutelyTamara I'm thinking that Lisa probably doesn't have time either because she'd get asked hundreds of questions. I've noticed that other counsellors etc answer some questions when they can, or make short comments, but definitely not all of them, unless they don't have many subscribers. ❤
I’m with you Vannessa.
Never too late. After 17 years with toxic husband I walked away with two kids. Am 50 years old. Never too late. Run and don’t look back. Good luck
You are not alone undergoing such annoying partnership. I urge you not to prolong the agony . Although I'm still in a toxic union , frankly it's fragile because a slight mistake this relationship will surely collapse !
Sometimes it is necessary to distance yourself from someone who refused to end another toxic relationship which is affecting you too. I like the way Lisa clarifies what it is like to live in an unhealthy marriage in simple terms that anyone can understand instead of some expert trying to superimpose their set of theories as to discern who is lying and who needs the brain change instead so they can adminiseter that through a Workmen's Compensation office or whatever. One day while working in a shoe store I felt astonished when a customer who maybe heard some gossip about me pointed out that some people are so 2 faced when pretending to be beneviolent just so they can the rest of the time in their work meetings and in their social circles gossip about whom all they are 'helping.'
Yup, they cough once, and they take 2 weeks off of work, but go here and there, & binge drink and drive. While you go to work early, with pain sometimes, a headache, & stress they’ve caused.
I have been to the emergency room with mine thirty times in 2 years no answer from doctors....now I am aware of the real problem.....
...
😮
😮
Now I know what a healthy relationship should feel like. Thank you for this; it helps me to know that I'm not being too "rose-colored glasses" to think that a relationship should make me feel at least okay about myself and grow instead of feeling shriveled.
I have never had a relationship the way she describes.. it sounds incredible 💕 We are not too rose-colored glasses..
They will try to get under your skin. If your tone is off, they will ask, “why are you mad?”
They also pick and choose what they will tell you. If they ran the Credit card, they will leave that part out, thinking they will get away with it. After, we both agreed I would handle the finances, and would be open about expenses. NOPE. It’s almost a power thing to them, to not tell you. It puffs them up.
I'm so proud of you you turned everything around u mastered this and then reached back and help others luv it
Dear Lisa, how to end rs with parents, or at least be at peace, who keeping blame shifting (l no longer want to stay in contact, at least while l pull myself up, after realization about what happened in parental home and ways that they destroying me and my brother) and comming back, through my children, calling. All this is disturbing and upsetting, as lm on my recovery path. Thank you 🙏
Sending ❤️
I have been through the came thing .And i thought that my parent's wouldn't hurt my children .as they done too me .but i was wrong and i am doing everything in moving forward without any contact from me are my two children.if i was u i will do the same .
@@marlainarobertson8123 moving to another part of the city, it is better. My children are adults rn, and l talk to them about this whole thing. I hope to figure something out and move abroad. Thanx for the support, all the best ✨🎈
@@Catherine_Kate thanks, l know it is hard and sad for you, but stay on the path of divinity. Everyone is responsible for only one person, themselves. We cannot change noone, it is not our task 🌌
What ever you do, please be as compassionate as possible towards your parents while you are on your journey to become stronger. There's a way to distance yourself, where it doesn't have to sever everything with your parents. You matter and they matter too... Just a caring response. I've been thru this, and it is awfully hurtful to everyone. In only talking here about family relationships.
You’re the best! You saved my sanity. It has really taken a toll on me dealing with this. I was feeling so low to the ground for such a long time. After watching your videos, it really opened my eyes a few months ago. Thank you so much! your videos are very educational!
I totally agree. I always feel stronger and more confident after watching more of these helpful videos.
My feelings were very similar. Also , I never thought thatI was right for walking away from toxic people. I used to feel like a failure from ending a relationship. Now I'm proud to be the guy who decided that toxic people who would make me hate myself do not belong in my life. There's folks who want to be happy, and people that have to be right all the time. I also learned that when I am right, I don't have to sit and argue with someone who will say anything just to be to right to feel better about themselves.
Even if they want a divorce, and are waiting for you to give them a date for when you are moving out, they will still be a nightmare. I am trying to mentally prepare myself for this. Unfortunately, I don’t really have a support system. As I have spent years with my husband, I have let everything and everyone go, as I not only have more distrust for people but I just got so exhausted and felt so embarrassed about myself and the secret life that I have lived.
I had to leave when he was at work because I was so scared of him.
Thank you for analyzing toxic people and relationships so clearly. Thank you for providing solutions!!! You are a great blessing to me.
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Thank you for this I have been 29 years in a toxic relationship you really have such knowledge
This was so powerful...I m o my healing journey...
Thank u for these vids Lisa, my mother instilled fear in me, I was never good enough etc, then I married a narc.
Me to
69 and still messed up. But I'm learning. Stuck in guilt.
Let it go! Save yourself! MMB
Hey!! I'm 66 and thought I understood more about relationships. I am learning NOW what was going on in my life all these years as well. Thank you so much Lisa!! As the others say ... Your information & your willingness and time involved in teaching is MOST APPRECIATED. Thank you to the others who are sharing also!! ❤❤❤
@@marymargaretblumhorst3089 Save yourself is my email as I believe it whole heartedly. It is a Yuruba spiritual teaching ... as in our own thoughts direct our lives. Our thoughts dictate our actions so save (with thoughts leading to actions ) ourselves.
We are gettin older i dont trust what are we supposed to do?
@@carolsampson5511 listen to Lisa's teachings. I decided to follow her advice if I want any happiness and peace. To believe I am as important as others. Stop taking responsibility for others happiness. Set boundaries. Be kind to myself. I have good days and bad days. It isn't easy to change. But I do have more good days then bad. And on the bad days be patient knowing they won't last.
Thank God with your snarky since of quick humor completely lacks in element of narcissism. God is real!
if i can also add they play god too.well they try and get caught in the end
You're amazing, I love you Lisa! You have guts and you step up when you need to, love that. Having guts means you have courage, having courage means you have enough love for yourself and others. That is beautiful. Not easy but very much the right choice.
The timing on this is .... well very timely. I especially appreciate your reminder that ending a toxic relationship is not without grief and sadness; that the loss of a pattern of pain is a loss of what has become familiarity and there’s pain or fear at least in what’s new. Sometimes in fact if we’ve brought ourselves to the point of learning what need that toxicity might have addressed in us, what that investment was all about, it may hurt more in being without what might have taken us up into our heads to begin obsessing (if it is a codependent like push and pull or up and down on a piano kind of power struggle. Because if you’re trying to make sense of a manipulative or passive agressive narcissistic who almost has you convinced you’re the entire problem ..... then you’re up in your head where it’s a lot safer than down in the raw feelings whatever they may be. I heard it said once about power struggles in adults where someone who’s codependent may fit well (at first) with an addict. But it’s one person fearing abandonment chasing after someone who fears engulfment. Possibly the one who is being pursued is running away because he or she cannot control the distance as long as a thundering herd is coming after. But that as soon as the codependent for example gives up and stops and starts walking away, the other one notices the quiet which triggers a fear abandonment because just behind a fear of engulfment is a fear of abandonment... and this lecturer Pia melody makes it almost humorous by saying “see how sick we all are ?” Now I remember it was a whole series she did on love addiction but it’s tied into the same thing isn’t it?
I’ve heard a lot of this information in the past but it’s like a muscle that needs to be reminded how to work or it loses its value. I like the way you are gut honest about yourself- it takes courage - and you’ve managed to lessen the inevitable shame of remaining in a toxic relationship for longer than I’d convinced myself was ‘normal’ or acceptable. We are tougher on ourselves than a narcissist will ever be. Oh yes I love your advice in winning. Don’t engage. That is what I’ve had to do. I don’t want abusive accusations in my head even if intellectually I know this is not about me etc etc emotionally I just rather not hear and read what someone else thinks of me because it also eliminates the impulse I will feel but must refrain from the tendency to blow up in return. That’s just what the narcissist loves. Gotcha. Silence might kill him but doing nothing is also one of the hardest things to do... or not to do.
Oh this isn’t put together very succinctly is it ? Thanks for all your wisdom and kind grace. -kate.
PS. You sound like you’re from same area I’m at. Bellmore Long Island. Originally from flushing. Then Connecticut Florida Massachusetts and now N Bellmore. Thanks again for your very helpful videos
I found that I became REALLY reactive to my ex. I tried to express myself in a mature manner, however; I was shut down and ignored. When I would finally get to the point of blowing up he seemed to notice, but not until then. He also made the comment that I save him, which I immediately said no, that's not my responsibility.
Omg I would bottle up then eventually blow up, he’d seem to pull his head in for a bit, then slide back into old patterns.
I took became reactive to my ex and his hypersensitivity, lies and manipulation. When I called him out the boom would go off between us and it was nasty. I finally realised he was projecting and dragging me into his misery. In the end the kids were witnessing it and I was drained and couldn’t live like this .In the end I walked away after 17 years of this rollercoaster. Healing and exhaling deeply each day but at peace and recovering.
@@georginafronda496 yes, terrible thing to keep in mind, PTSD is all day, I kept mouth shut so long, he got used to it, his family, all gossiping about me, years of it, it was unhealthy to my core, it was making me feel like I had no say, his way..Thank Jeh God I love from afar...Still has not sat down with me to say sorry to me..Even when I deal chronic pains due to the toxic person..
I went no-contact but I can't stop ruminating about the narc
Its so hard because the abuse was so uncalled for and unbelievable. It wasn't deserved. Not your fault. You didn't ask for it. 🙏😍💪
When narcissist try to make everything about them even if your not even talking about something different. It don’t matter to them to them it all the same to them cause they can’t see passed the point .
That's it
Hi Lisa! I was a victim of narcissist partner recently... I have watched lots of your videos. They have helped me know myself better.
I can understand that we need to learn using words to describe what's happening. But, at the same time it's strange that people need to categorize human emotion and behaviour. We humans are all capable of change. When one thinks about, it could be that a codependent = fix the narcissist = manipulation to try and change the narcissist. Narcissist = break the codependent = manipulation again to change the codependent. Fix = positive. Break = negative; we all have this energy. Then there's neutrality, one's choice of keeping themselves out of other people's emotions. However as the brain's very interesting and complex, one's inner dialect kicks in, with positive and negative thoughts, which can be calculated as the narcissist and codependent within. By reaching a conscious state of neutrality one has a moment of freedom, and can be authentic with themselves and nature. Namaste 🙏
@Suffering Succatash I once heard someone say: "empty your mind" and l say, think how it was yesterday, and think how it could be tomorrow, and sit still and think how you feel in the moment. Listening to your thoughts can help in finding a solution.... What is bad for someone could be good for another. Good luck🙏
Well said Dave. Intelligent discourse. I agree with this as I am learning about this topic. I must navigate about 4 more months or so with this narc person until I am fully free. I am devouring these lessons. I was starving for some truth and ways to move thru and out. 😄😊☺
@@mariewasham2253 Thank you ! Good luck with your learning, sometimes difficult, but hey that's the ups and downs of life 😫
All the best Marie 💛
By you definition of a healthy relationship, I realize I have had one. My friend of 30 years. A friend that feels close even when we haven’t seen or chatted for years. I do want a relationship with a partner that is growing and a calm compassionate. Thank you for this video
Needed this. Thank you.
Me too!
I needed to hear this as well. There were times that I believed I was way too sensitive and needy.
I asked for the money he owed me for services rendered . He stopped calling😁
This is so much of our arguments over 18 years. Everything you said was twisted and manipulated in our marriage. It’s hard to breathe hearing these things because of all the conflicts and arguments that it brings up. Including being triangulated with his own family towards me over these things. We separated 8 months ago at his request and his lying and cheating. Now he refuses to leave the house or even give my lawyer his lawyers name. How did I not know for 18 years that this is what was going on? And now he calls me the liar and the narcissist, that I abuse the children, that I am crazy? He sends emails to my parents that I am these awful things as well. Tells the kids all kinds of things too. Agh
Hey Heather, God I felt like I was reading my own words it's been a year and a half since black husband of 17 years I have my two teen boys 12 and 14 but yeah it's been a battle you still keep showing up to the house no financial support but will bring pizza and mention it over and over.
Be strong 🌼 Sending you love
I love your work. I am so glad I found you 3 years ago after I walked out of an 8 year abusive relationship with a Narcissist. I want desperately to change my behavior. I am learning so much from you! Thank you :)
It's hard for a break up, especially with someone toxic, they have never been in a good relationship, so I kinda see that it is what it is, good buy Felicia.
Wow this is a great lesson. I won’t be afraid to be abandoned because first I will love myself.
THANK YOU, LISA. STUMBLED ACROSS YOUR STUFF A FEW MONTHS AGO. I WAS IN A REALLY BAD PLACE DUE TO FREAKS LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE. EVERYTHING IS MAKING SENSE AGAIN. THANK YOU! LOVE YOU!!!! XOXO SIL
This is so awesome, Lisa. I've seen that getting rid of toxic, hurtful actually brought MAJOR AWSOME Goals achieved! NO ACCIDENT that getting rid of these people allowed for blessings to come in. It IS TRUE!!! Thank you, Lisa.
For me too; I am very grateful.
Lisa i grew up alone no love
This video is truly one of the best advice! Thank you so much Dr. Lisa. You are beautiful by the way. Your hair is stunning. Keep shining.
Im getting crushed by one now after 14 yrs& a young child, didnt realize how much self I had lost in that time :( I'm enrolled in your 12 wk program and its been a big help& very eye opening but still a daily struggle because of our child. So afraid of how my kiddo is affected by this and our mentalities, praying she only takes away our most + traits. I'll have to look for help about how to be the best Dad I can for the lil loved one...Im so sick& tired of being sick& tired
and now know Im a codp& shes likely a covert narc, thank you Lisa for giving me and so many hope !! Thx too for these, All day everyday I am enough& its not my fault
PLSS LESS ADVERT!
Advertisement is getting like a monster showing op on tv, streets, internet, phone etc etc. It is the programming of an emperialistic abusive narcissistic system. First it will start slowly and grow bigger. Than they will offer you a payment "service" to be add free 😂..hillarious.
Skip the video to the end and skip back to the beginning, so the adds will dissappear and you can watch without these destructive adds 😊
Well she's monetized and receives payment; and why shouldn't she, but I don't believe she chooses the ad content...but I see your point. There were quite a few this time around weren't there. It's unfortunate because for me personally it breaks the mental 'flow' I get into as I listen.
@@sibelcan9970 Thats a very good tip!! I ll use it.! Thank you🤗😘
@@gregoryking9348 That exactly my point! I understand that people are trying to make a living, but after every freaking minute, than it seems like they are dropping the message for the sake of money. I stopped listening the whole video.
Thank You! I'm 62 and still in therapy after 5 years with a therapist. I'd like to try to understand my co-dependancy. I'm just exhausted right now, because somewhere I got lost in the sauce. I'm fighting to stay out.
My mother was like this, always trying to destroy my life.
You’re not alone. My mother did this too.
Once u see u cant unsee and for me all the stress went away when it happened
Exactly
Sometimes you need a really really good lawyer. Esp in business situations.
Don’t have one healthy relationship except that with my kids after years of the narc abuse you endured. Attempting to coparent was and remains a joke that sometimes makes me sick even after I put up boundaries with my family. He after years, got residential custody and now my 11YO is suicidal and he is not allowing help for her. I was on auto-pilot trying to help her this week when I discovered he has been communicating with my family-it had me spinning and sick and I am trying now to refocus. This is a strange hell that from my perspective will not stop unless I get my kids away.
Oh dear oh dear...im so sorry to hear that you are going through hell!!!!! I was feeling sorry for myself until I read your post....we have similar situations but you have a precious child being affected and THATS NOT OK AT ALL...You are not crazy and if you want to vent to someone on the other side of the world, lay it on me anytime ,day or night....I just posted 10mins ago,its 2.57am in Adelaide and I am still awake as usual and you are in my thoughts❤❤❤❤🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺
Alot of teens and young adults are suicidal bc of covid. The social isolation is killing us all.
I am very lonely. I am 43 yrs old. Divorced and my kids are grown
Life has become very painful and lonely
@@vickibaker8372 I'm listening to you Vicki,you are not alone,these online conversations are REAL,you are real and so am I and your feelings are real...These comforting channels like Lisa's are generally safe without any a$$hol@s and I for one MEAN IT WHEN I SAY YOU CAN TALK TO ME ANYTIME YOU LIKE,im YouTubing 16 hours a day haha....look at my channel and watch my 1 min video of my puppies...Love Yvette ❤❤❤❤❤
I hope you are all OK ❤️
Lisa A Romano, you never cease to teach me, you never cease to amaze me! Thank you so very much! 💗
Wow, that’s my own Mother always catching her lie! My sister too! My sister is the golden child as well as her flying monkeys my two step. Sister in-laws . Help me please this is sooo hard to deal with it’s exhausting and feel abobsolutey awful every time I am around these people
Hi Leslie- from another Leslie in same situation. The entire family ghosted including my daughter. Then a traumatic car accident for me! My eyes were finally opened- work on enjoying life alone. They won’t like that, will call you mental. But think about this- who is name calling a woman in a wheelchair? That’s what it took for me- and I should have PTSD from that- but they sure don’t think so. Get over THOSE who tell YOU to get over what they do!
Thank you so much for these videos 🙏🏻 I’m ready to face my codependency.
Amazing thank you ! Life changing for me and getting me out of a toxic relationship
Finding me !
I had an ah-ha moment! Thank you!
Lisa, I'm catching this video for the 2nd time around. My son's father is very narcissistic and toxic as they come!!! I needed this video to reinforce the idea that I'm too fair and lenient with him and to be firm boundaries need to be inplaced.💪🏾👊🏽❤
I came upon your videos, they are quite interesting and offer some good tips. Thank you for sharing.
How about the boy that wants to be the knight in shinning armor and rescue the damsel in distress?
Love, love, love your videos. Thank you for the guidance.
Great background info and I thought this was mainly how to leave a toxic abusive situation.
R run and hope you get out with your life
You are so right... about once you wake up....You see it everywhere... The co- dependent friends ,family members...etc
Is there any one to be trusted i feel like there is no one out there
@@carolsampson5511
I feel the same way. I stay to myself in my apartment most of the time.
Wow. You are Always spot on
Thank you so much for your amazing videos, I always get so much out of them! This one was particularly helpful, as I've just ditched a communal narcissist 'friend'. I can't believe how long it took me to see her for what she was. And I have to say, whenever you say 'Dear One' in your videos, my heart always accepts it with joy as if you were saying it only to me. I feel the healing of those words so strongly. Thank you ❤
They hang on her every word they know her not me I'm quiet stay to myself next place I move no friends hi n bye that's it
I keep the dish drainer cleared out because my daughter might come over and it irritates her if there are dishes in it. Lol
This is my shitty narcissistic parents. The rest of my immediate family takes my moms side.
Same here. I’ve learned not to care what they think.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
Great video on "why" to end a toxic relationship and how to not be codependent but not on " how" to end a toxic relationship
Expansion of consciousness must be a part of recovery!!!!!! ❤️
my T.P. wants a crappy relationship who keeps it at status quo, never can improve it. holy cow Lisa nailed it.
This is saving my life, Thank you
I wish I could afford to have a personal workshop with you. Seriously saving up!!!
Thank you Lisa so much! I was actually looking for something like that but could not find it on your channel and then you did this wonderful video.... yes, it is not easy to break up at all. They are not all of the same toxicity and degree of narcissism. That is why it is so confusing... but still there is no mutual love and moral support or personal growth as you said! .... I talk to him only when it is necessary...and because of pandemic I’m working part time and it’s a question when our life will get back to normal.... he does help me financially.... so I do worry about finance in the future and where I could live with my child... but as you said in your meditation, “it is all temporary”... when the right time comes, I want to be ready....Thank you Lisa for all your help and meditation and support video!
I love you! 😁 You are everyday saving my emotional and mental health. I can't thank you enough.
lisa, looking back i had the same, my eyes and ears were telling me all is there , yet intarnal all felt wrong and supressed it all for a long time
Thank you so much Lisa! Your valuable information is changing my life.
Here is my/our double Edge Knife. I/We have to fake not being CARING people to those that have or new people. Then that fake "not caring" may be seen as "self centered" Damn if you do, Damned if you don't.
i do not fake; i set boundaries. A selfish narcissist will perceive me as not being nice enuf to go along with their agenda, all the time. Care-giving needs to have limits that we ourselves make clear so that we do not get hooked into any narcissists' care-Taking.
@@dianedeclare8541 yes, boundaries is the garlic to these vampires. You misunderstood the fake part. It's their perception of the "Gray Rock", no contact you give them that them and the flying monkeys can use against you to those that do not know you that well. Like a new employee at your work. Bless You.
Recovery takes LOTS of time, and we can feel as if we are stuck. (We’re stuck because we’re stuck because we think it’s our fault…that we are stuck….) But we are not - awareness is key. We were, in good faith, inside a relationship where WE thought we were on path A. (THAT’S when we were stuck) But we learned the truth and eventually got out. Yet recovery” still feels unproductive ….. because there’s no pressure, no drama, no haggling, no bait and switch, no more harassment from the ex. And it FEELS like we are stuck …b/c we are waiting for the “other shoe” to drop. And that’s left over stuff from the abuse cycle we were so used to.
However, when we get far enough away from the relationship, that feeling (the shoe drop thing) fades. Big time. It fades because WE ended this relationship (…or put a final nail in the coffin, if you will) or went grey rock or left the state and said “No more.”
LR and these channels are a godsend.
Leaving is hard… I have been unsuccessful the past few times just this year. I want to be pain free, I don’t want to be anxious all the time and I want my life back. I have become a whole other person and have tolerated so much.. I find myself being disappointed and angry so often. I just want to go back to living for myself, caring & loving myself. I need to officially end it- even when they come back looking for me I NEED TO BE STRONG ENOUGH NOT TO ENGAGE and stand by that. We tried boundaries but this is not enough.. it needs to be no contact. I must stop feeding the monster. I can do this, I am scared but I can do this.
I'd love to see/have buttons & sticky notes cuz i luv quotes. I am a low income senior mixed race woman.
Absolutely Great video. Thank You
Thank you Lisa 💖 I know it’s so taboo, but I’ll be so relieved when my parents are gone. They live in hoarding, mess and think they have rights to me. I live abroad but they still guilt, shame and blame.
My parents actually believed l was unreasonable for wanting a relationship with them based on mutual respect. They told me they loved me so I had no idea that love is a safe place to be.
My dad is gone. I miss him. Didn't know until years later that he was her doormat. My mom is a vicious person who has to have control of everything and everyone all the time. I am no contact after 61 years of pain with my mom. Coming up on two years
@@dianawelles1726 well done going no contact with your mother. It is much better for your mental health and peace of mind. I hope one day she understands why you are no longer speaking with her. These sort of toxic people really need to have a look in the mirror and realise they need to make changes to their behaviour.
You are extremely intelligent with a complimenting and a hauntingly mystifying beauty. I give up
55!!!;!!!!!? SL
Thank you Lisa for validating how those of us who were brought up in a toxic home. I can listen to you all day because your voice and nurturing approach to narc abuse. It’s very comforting 💕🙏🏽💕
I gotta watch this when I get off work💕
Another great video. Thank you, thank you, thank you Lisa!
"It's not you it's me" is actually a sensible and radically responsible explanation for breaking up after all🤔 One step further it's rational to say "it's you and it's me"
Very powerful spiritual Video Sis!!! Keep doing the works of "The Most High" 💯💯
Wow I resonated so deeply with every word you said in here. Thank you thank you. I am committed to shift my paradism no matter what it takes and show up as a unique piece of the infinite field of love vibration. ❤