I was born to a narcissistic father who ended up being a significant reason that I struggled with an eating disorder and having a *highly* unhealthy relationship to food. I developed shame to eat around him because of how he treated me. This has gone on for the last 10 years. But now I'm in the process of treating my body better and focusing on how I feel about what I'm choosing to eat. I've learned so much just the last few weeks alone. It's like this mental shift is happening for me; I'm spending less time on the scale (most days I would check it about 7-8 times each day) and more time understanding how my body feels. More time eating things that my body needs and makes me feel happy, versus binging and restricting based on my negative emotions. I feel like I'm at the beginning of my journey of healing...
Your health will improve as you heal. My health has improved soooo much since I started to work on Me and heal each week. Good Luck to you I'm rooting for you.
With me it was my mom with an alcoholic father no other family around to see what was going on. I learned to stuff my feelings with food but was very active. Now my body reflects the many years spent as a chameleon around others no one knew what our family was experiencing. Holding in all this mess proves we are stronger than what we are experiencing or in reality what we're being forced to endure. I am so happy that you are healing! No matter what anyone else says or does, remember that you deserve the best in life and yes, you are enough on all levels of life!
Try to eating roasted dry peanuts when your hungry. It fills the hunger with very little and you’ll loose weight. Eat throughout the day sometimes when you want to lighten up. Then have a small dinner. Works amazing. You’ll feel lifted. Happy for you. You can do it. I too have learned to take control of lumpen life and health. I am learning each day too.
Heres my five things: Not afraid to say no Dont need drugs or alcohol Dont take on others problems Dont try to change people or work super hard to make them understand your point of view Dont try to fix others problems Dont worry about what other people think about you
A child cannot grow mentally when they have parents who throw fits and have no idea of how to handle their emotions. Most people do not realize that children learn from EXAMPLE more than they do from being "told" something. Our society wants us to believe that "good" parents are people who provide MATERIAL things like shelter & food. MOST people in our society do not learn or grow until they have already raised their children - ancient civilizations were not like this, so we are literally de-volving.
@@samhhaincat2703 it's a few thousand years older than that, it's called patriarchy - but we had 190,000 years of human sanity before patriarchy came along, so humans have a chance but only if we leave this monstrous male-led society behind
Totally agree with you! I was born with a narc mom and autism alcoholic father. I had a narc sister too, narc grandparents and cousins. I lived in hell throughout my childhood. These people were so toxic in many ways u could imagine. Anyway I'm on my healing journey 😅
@@bronwyncasson8961 As children we were programmed to be there for them at all times. We were trained to be acute to paying attention to what they needed. NOW we must reprogram our mind. We can not fix this. It goes against everything we were made to believe. Once you worry about yourself before the abuser it is game over. 💕
@@perfectlyimperfect3333 Game over indeed. I cut contact with my parents almost 6 years ago, but last Christmas I had a zoom meeting with them and my brother (it was fine) and I told them that we can do this again if they organize it and it's always just the 4 of us. We had another one during the Superbowl, and then after that? Nada. They've barely talked to me in almost 6 years and they won't do that one simple thing to talk to me. I personally feel better now because the guilt is completely gone, but now the sadness is setting in. I just don't matter to them and it's really hard to accept that at a molecular level.
@@samhhaincat2703 You’re not alone. I do believe the Truth always comes out....eventually. Just remember that it’s building something inside of you that you didn’t have before... I’d rather have the truth than lies and fake games..Stay the course because you do matter and you were made for something greater... Human potential cannot be caged by narcissism unless you allow it...remember where your true strength comes from...within...they can’t touch that
You are healing if: 1. You are worried less about what others think about you. You feel lighter, and you consult yourself about what you want. 2. You have less desire to enmesh with or fix others. You become more objective and picky about who you hang out with. 3. You stop making excuses for others as well as yourself. You start hearing a nurturing parental voice telling you to improve yourself. Success flows towards order. 4. You catch negative thoughts and you change them. You realize you have far more power than you knew. You are becoming a sage....Don't give up! 5. You start setting boundaries automatically without thinking as hard about it. (comes more naturally). 6. You take a few challenges or hobbies. 7. You are less reactive to what you can't control..........(I am making progress on each and every front.). This shows up a lot behind the wheel, in road rage, etc. You don't want to wish anyone ill. 8. You are in more control of your thoughts, through non-resistance. You are able to empower your inner dialogue. Make whatever is in front of you "not such a big deal.". You will notice an uptick in your inner dialogue: "Give yourself a break.". 9. You cut the cords. You are more willing to confront your family members. You don't have to see it like they do, just respect them for their differences. You mind your own business more, take care of your own stuff. 10. Healing will cause you to love the truth more than you are worried about what they think of you. 11. You become more able to clear your mind by recognizing what you can control and what you cannot.
The effect the stress has the body is insane. I literally almost died from narcissistic abuse by my ex-partner! I didn't know that stress could affect you that much until I got into that toxic relationship and almost died from it. Now he wants to call me and make up? No freakin way dude I almost died!
Good for you I was the same I cannot say enough to you to Never take that Toxic person back what I say to myself is "Be gone Satan". Well done you . Enjoy your life you are unique be good to yourself!
Yes narcissistic abuse is certainly deadly. I didn't know what was wrong with my life but ultimately the abuse and confusion and toxicity led to a heart attack and a near death experience at 33 years old! Ultimately, I chose to come back into my body because I saw how much my sons needed me, and how alone we really were despite having family all around, but surviving was just the beginning of the nightmare that would unfold. Life as I knew it was over.. When my son died from an accidental overdose fifteen years later it was the same core issues and the same toxic family at the root of his pain. They are destroyers of dreams, childhoods, self esteem, marriages, families, and life, and when the worst happens you'll be grieving alone.
Dear Lisa, With all your teaching I've learnt how to choose happiness in life. Earlier in my life, I only tried please people. I never gave myself the love that I needed. I always tried to make others happy. I always thought that I am not good enough. But now by the grace of the Almighty, I am living peacefully & practicing self-love. Thanks for all your teaching ❤️🙏 You have taught me how to stand up for myself. You're such a powerful lady & doing such a great work through your teaching. Much Love❤️
Dear Lisa, thank you. That was one hour very well spent. I took some notes that I wanna share with the community: Signs you’re healing from childhood wounds 1 you worry less what other people think and focus more on your own needs. 2 you stop taking on “projects” (stop managing other people / their trauma): becoming more conscious with human relationships. 3 holding yourself accountable: you feel the need to get things in order. 4 realising you have the power to change. 5 you know that your thoughts create energy: you become more aware of negative thought patterns. 6 you start setting boundaries. 7 you feel less stuck: you want to create momentum in your life: wanting more from life, taking chances, getting new friends/hobbies. 8 you’re less reactive to things you can’t control: giving people and circumstances less of your energy. Practising non-resistance. 9 your inner dialogue changes: more positive, realistic thinking. You judge yourself & others less. A more loving & nurturing inner voice. 10 you begin to cut chords with family and friends that you were once afraid to confront. Lots of positive energy to all of you. 🧡
This segment describes me to a T. I was married for 32 years & my husband told me I was controlling and angry. I can see very clearly now that he spent nearly our whole marriage gaslighting me & being passive aggressive. I thought it was me because he told me it was my fault. Now that I don’t interact with him I am neither angry or frustrated. He lied, cheated & betrayed me and then told me I made him do it. 🤦🏼♀️
I didn't think anything was "wrong" that is just how it was. ....until I went to a friends house at 13, and she was told to do something and rather than RUN obediently to do it, she was saucy.. and I was so sad, because I really liked her, so I turned away so I wouldn't shame her by watching her beating..her mom grumbled, swatted at her and then my gf giggled and her mom giggled, and my gf did the thing and her mom THANKED HER!!! and that was that. REVELATION.
Everything you’re saying--yes, yes, yes; true, true, true!!! I have been working on recovery for five years, and thanks to your guidance, I believe I am so much healthier and prepared for living the rest of my life (I am 75) in peace and authenticity. Thank you, Lisa, for the valuable work you are doing!❤️
Lisa has not only healed my life, but has totally transformed it with her incredibly effective meditations. I cannot thank her enough for invaluable power of her guided meditations which has healed my abusive childhood in a most profound way. May our Lisa shine and really save many more souls out there, in desperate need for healing 🙏❤️
I am in the process of learning: that I owe no one a relationship. I do owe a relationship to myself. I want relationships with uplifted individuals not competition, and so I am uplifting myself and trusting people to be who they are. I am trusting myself more to become who I am. When I am in the presence of high controlling/difficult people, I am practicing to say quietly in mind: OK, you are showing me who you are. In my growth journey (recovering helper child), having a heart-set of discernment gives me many experiences of peace.
Life just isn't a contest, is it? It is so much more and so to feel when we don't let others tell us how to act, no matter who they are. Be your genuine self and you are a diamond. Clear and unbreakable.
Lisa I was born in the early 60's and have ADHD, and bipolar disorder. When my parents divorced I was 5 and mom had nervous breakdown and the DHR told her to give up her kids.The doctor told me I was retarded and because of this I've been a people pleaser. I wasn't sure what I was. Suicidal, 14 times I have tried. It actually took your videos to see why I molded my life the wrong way. In foster homes I was abused by multiple people. So finally getting to know myself and understanding what my purpose was has been life changing. Still feeling like I have to please I put myself in to abusive relationships with "friends " ,sad to admit it I'm 59 and I'm realizing that I have engineered my destructive life experiences. Only through your advice have I awakened myself to now I am working towards a new and better life. Thank you for your service to we people whom are struggling with issues, your caring about others and guidance has helped me to understand that I am my own blockade in my life. I truly love you and your channel.
I think a lot of us can be considered learning disable because we just have had such cognitive dissidence from such a young age that it’s messed with our thought process and learning. I think you’re a genius to have figured things out! Much love, respect, and compassion!
The beginning: realizing something is wrong. Then realizing I am responsible for my healing. Now that I am healing, I don’t care what anyone says. I know my truth. That is when the peace flows in. Finally at peace with myself. What a feeling! The road to healing is painful at times. But when it is good it is amazing. Keep walking on the road to healing. That is where you find yourself: an awesome self.
Working on that, frankly, I'm unused to the Quiet and the Peace so I'm struggling to simply BE. Funny I had no idea that 95% of my time and life energy was going to the" Meaner"" I'm still just .like wow. Very weird. All of this time, and I've not an idea what to do with it...
@@leahweinberger583 You will get it. The mental abuse we have suffered slows us down. It can hinder but not stop us. I know you will find you way. Peace, love and healing your way. 💕
When I look back I'd a wonder i lived thru my mother's parenting. She's a malignant narcissist & very violent. My childhood was so incredibly violent. Omg. God had mercy on me. I have worked so hard for so long & now I have these videos to help me. Thank God
@@ms.rainh20teachesarthe thinks she’s Christ. Into Christ consciousness and new age guff. Loves to quote Bible to endorse her spiritual guru status. She could do well striving to the codependency healing.
@@ThatsTheSpiritGodCast yes, you're right, she does think she's God. Very misled. Always seeking the truth but never finding it. We must pray for her and others like her.
I've pretty much been experiencing every single one of these 'symptoms' of healing lately. It's like experiencing life on a completely different dimension, like a journey to the self. My new way of being feels just so right and it's like taking off the blinkers that had blinded me for so long.
I lived this life your describing for over 60 years…with my family and husband. It was horrific!!! I sooo wish I could of healed sooner! Thank you Lisa ❣️
I am only halfway through but I cannot count how many deep breaths of relief I am having. I am healing. Thank you so much. We need to hear this good named and affirmed by those who understand
Everybody has these wounds and should be a school subject to learn about them to heal them on early stages of life, in the early adult youth life(20s) because we go tumbling everywhere until we deal them to sanity.
I agree!!! Ancient civilizations understood what our society does not, they taught ineffable concepts to their children - they did not separate body, mind, and spirit like we do now. The ancient Egyptian, Romans, Greeks, Mayans, Incans, Chinese, Vikings, Native Americans, Persians, and many more understood that everything is connected, mental health was a part of their overall health, they were much more "advanced" than we are now.
Omg! I use to think this way and had all these symptoms Lisa…I remember feeling exactly this way! I am feeling stronger these days. I am getting better and better each day though. I see what has been happening. Omg! I have never ever had nurturing for 55 years! I am 73 Lisa and at 56 my husband could not get it up! I knew. Know what he said to me? You are too old to have sex with! It tore me to my heart so I knew what I had to do. I had to get strong and I realized what kind of person he is! I watched every video I could watch about Narcissists. I can’t stand the man! I am still here but I avoid him as much as I can. Omg! This man is just like you are describing to a T! Thank you for all the information Lisa…I am truly thankful for your long introduction 💕🌹❤️♥️
After 33 years in February of this year I had a sudden realisation why my mums had been treating me so bad and evil all My life and that’s she’s a full blown covert narc mother. When I found out I went into a nervous breakdown where I was crying and screaming for a whole month non stop. I then till now am going through mild depression and pushing myself to come out of it, that’s how bad my childhood with her. I’ve accepted it and I just want to move on and that now I know I ain’t the family scapegoat that was bullied and beaten up and accused for everything. I start my new life now by the name lord ❤️🙏
I really needed this. Since my healing journey it’s like I’m real emotional just going through the motions. And even though I’m crying a lot every other day because I’m actually dealing with my trauma instead of shutting down (like I usually do) I am making progress so it makes me feel good that even though I’m hurting I’m doing exactly what’s necessary to make be better mentally emotionally spiritually
Thankfully I live alone...am HIGHLY independent. I am and have learned to love God, myself and others. I have learned the triggers that push me in a negative way, and chose to be still and decide to use wisdom as to how to respond. I do not like everyone....and I do not feel badly about it. I am not hypocritical...
"Letting go" should not be mistaken by conditioned, codependent victims of a narcissistic upbringing for "giving up". Strong survivors who desperately cry out for change are warriors and survivors of circumstance beyond their control. When eliminating toxic people it feels uncomfortable to venture outside our comfort zone... Learning to adjust to positive change on ones own behalf is foreign and an adjustment that is greatly helped by a life coach who has experienced it and highly qualified to help. Thank you for your sticktuitive efforts and warrior soul. And.....for sharing☆
Thank you Lisa. I just realized my dad's dad although successful did drink to excess. My mom's dad was an alcoholic. I was raised by two adults with child brains. My boss is a malignant narcissist. I am healing with your help. God Bless you and your work!!
Lisa, I really appreciate how relatable your insights are, the level of clarity in your message and the energy you exude. I recognised my codependency through your videos, started working on it, and benefited tremendously from your videos. Thank you! 🙏🏻
16:49 "I mentioned this to my family and their response was "Whats wrong with being mediocre?" After I in detailed explained why I was not happy... All it did was give me the motivation to change things and grow.
OMG THANK YOU LOLOL I have checked off all that you’ve named and will continue to walk on this path…..I began to cry 😭 so so grateful to have come across this video….THANK YOU!!!!
My first comment totally off topic: that color is amazing on you. You always look glowing, yet you & that color are a great 'team' 🤣 Now on topic: you describe my current and past relationships. I do trigger and go 'crazy', yet I was manipulated to do it!! Wondered why I was the only one reading all the self help books, going to therapy & seminars yet I was the one that got blamed 100%. -Human Pretzel
I realized I don't do well in overly competitive environments. Growing up, if I wasn't pulling in "A"s I risked rejection. Straight "A"s were the baseline, and that drew absolutely NO response from my mother. I figured if that drew NO response, heaven help me if I got a "B". Years later in the workplace, I get great anxiety if one worker is pitted against their coworkers (eg, sales). I don't want to compete with my coworkers because I fear rejection if I am not top performer. It is exhausting and draining and a healthy workplace doesn't make your coworkers the competition. I quit my job and starting a new one which is not set up in this manner.
Well done L. ! Competition has nothing to do with either of thriving business nor thriving employees. Same goes for psychopaths. It is a myth that they are good leaders. They ruin everything around them. And forcing employees to compete is just so they do not keep the eye on the ball, so the psychopath can do whatever It likes.
Good for you!! Your realized you couldn't change your work, so you changed jobs! I am in an unkind environment at my work too, I'm actively looking for another job that is supportive. Sending you hugs!
I always catch myself ruminating in the morning when I wake up. I tell myself "You're ruminating. That's not healthy". I then clear my mind, control my breathing and I'll put on a positive energy tone. ✨️
I came across one of your videos about a month ago when I began to suspect that codependency was present in my relationship. Your videos have since helped me uncover so much about my life and the roots of my codependency that I have been blind to for 30 years. I have cried an ocean of tears about these realizations, but you have been a light in the dark. I’m not sure if you’ll even see this comment but I want to thank you eternally. You have lifted the veil from over my eyes and are helping me take control of my life. I have so much love for you. Namaste.
My unresolved childhood trauma and false subconscious programming led me to drug addiction, toxic relationships and chronic illness. But I was able to heal from it from doing trauma release healing and subconscious reprogramming! I’m a whole new person living a whole new existence
I just want to thank you for this video as well as every video you have generously shared with us. Six years ago I was married to a narcissist but I knew nothing about narcissism or codependency. I started googling how to deal with a husband who is fake/superficial and who makes me feel like I’m going insane. Well, you popped up with videos on narcissism. It wasn’t but a few months later, I began working on myself and found the courage to walk away. Today, I’m living a wonderful life as a manager of a domestic violence shelter helping women with your videos. I’m free, own my own home, live a very empowered life and continue watching your videos so that I can stay on the right track and help others along the way! Again, thank you!
I began my recovery thanks to YOU, I'm amazed at all the wisdom and knowledge you share with us children who come from dysfunctional homes .. May God continue to bless you even more ❤🙏
In about 220 days I’m finally going to be able to really be free! Away from my family who so rarely nurtured me or cared to listen. Finally I can be around the family of my own making.
I love the unbiased and impartial way Lisa does these very helpful videos.The problem I found with therapists that work for the local healthcare services in my area on the NHS tend to be prejudgemental and unwilling to listen let alone sympathise or be able to come up with a rational truthful diagnosis and instead tend to take the narrative of other professionals who have potentially been slightly influenced by the adoptive mother and her narcsassistic nonsense painting me as a bad crazy person not capable of being a good mum let alone person!
I am so grateful I found this channel 🙏 This woman is a real living angel ♥️ Suddenly everything have a sense, like she owns a hundreds of keys which opened a hundreds of doors and showed me what was behind. Respect 🙏
Thank you Lisa...I have two narcissist parents and three adults sisters who are all trapped in the drama with them..I finally started to move on and also am beginning to address the issues I picked up to cope with them and the thought pattern they put in my head...these youtube videos from you and others saved my life.
Omg went out of a relationship waited ten years to start dating again. And now dating and CAN SEE TH E RED Flags like Bells ringing! Thank goodness I have been working on myself
Thank you so very much! I'm stuck in a Narcissistic relationship that's been ongoing for 15 years. I Always understood what I was dealing with, even not having any guidance or education about What I was dealing with. Of course my Narcissist didn't accept my non compliance, and has tried to make my life hell. I have stage 4 metastatic lung cancer, and now I see he's absolutely terrified of my dying, but I feel like I'm healing, I get it now and realize it was never about me.I thankfully didn't let him ruin my relationships with my loved ones, (which I paid for) but he didn't destroy me, which was his goal. If there is any possibility of getting out, don't wait. DON'T be me.
Lisa is fantastic and her work moved me along the path. She is one of few that connect the dots tween childhood trauma and narcissism manipulation. I am much more progressed these days and now see how I was hating myself by interacting with toxic people. I now feel like a person who escaped a death sentence. I am a friend among friends and have a deeper care for others I meet. You go through what you go through. Spiritually growth indeed.
You are such an amazing light Lisa. You have helped me learn to heal many deep rooted childhood wounds, I never knew what narcissism/sociopathy really was and now I can finally understand and let go of some of the hatred and hurt that was eating me alive because I couldn't figure out how a "mother" could be so cruel and have absolutely no remorse for it. I have been attracted to people with same traits as her and subjected myself to the same treatment, only (subconsciously) hoping I could change the outcome. I have the power to say no and recognize these people before allowing my subconsciousness to be drawn towards them. I love that you don't blame others, (blaming others takes away our power) you show how we are responsible for allowing it in when adults (why we do this), and most importantly, how to take our power back and change things!!! Love and light to you and your husband, sending prayers that he heals quickly! Love and light to all those reading this!
So grateful for loving attentive grandparents, so after a few years picking people that had traits of my folks and it ending v badly I saw my hubby who had traits of my Grandad and I fought through the urge to not trust and just run and stay alone. I'm still healing 31 years later as only realized after my brother died that's when I came out from the veil. I have gone no contact this year and struggling a little but pushing through while kindly coaching myself with the love and support of a few fab friends and a wonderful hubby who my Grandad loved very much. Thank for your help in easing the pain of accepting things as they are not as I wanted them to be. Love and blessing over you and yours Lisa, really appreciate you. Xx 💜☮️🧿☮️💜
Thank you Lisa for making these videos. I never really understood what was wrong (in spite of being in couseling for 5 years) until I hit rock my bottom. I followed man with malignant narcisism to his country (India) and almost got trapped there not able to return home. When I was finally able to get back home ans went no contact I came across your videos and it was soo healing to hear someone say that the abuse was not my fault...it was my programing....then I put the pieces together and discovered that my dad was a malignant narc. and I was his golden child, highly sexualized and taught to believe that my worth was tied to a man. Thank you Lisa for sharing you helped me find the problem and heal my life💞💗🙏 NAMASTE DEAREST ONE😊💋♥️
It used to be i couldn't handle the sound of a child's cry. I had to see the child... see why it was crying... make sure it was OK... guard dogged children my whole life.
This is definitely the video that sealed it for me in realizing that I am Infact healing, catching myself midstream thoughts of negative self talk or trying to project some negative emotions on someone else, checking myself mid conversation to see which mode my nervous system is on, wanting to genuinely change habits and patterns such as secluding myself and reducing my anxiety that often pops up when I am about to get into people pleasing mode because I think it's my job to make everyone feel comfortable. Safe to say we're finally heading somewhere. Creating safety within my body
Oh my God you just described my relationship with my husband that I am leaving. Thank you for your insight and I look forward to More videos and healing! 💕
Wow Lisa. You put the headlights on my life. Yes. There actually where some monsters in the shadow. Waking up from codependency is quite scary. Taxating. But worth every wound.
I've been working hard at this stuff for years now, and have been crushing books. It's been a grind, but it's been like a seventh sense! Nice video, it makes me feel more secure about the lifestyle changes I've been making over the years.
I’ve been working on me since 2017 when I hit rock bottom. Going thru menopause, living/co owning 3 businesses with a narcissist for 24 years and suicidal. Isolated for the most part except for fly monkey friends. I had no idea what a narcissist was. The introduction to narcissism was a like a punch in the gut and a lifted veil all at once. I love hearing the 10 signs you’re healing. I still doubt myself and the reassurance feels good. Thank you.
Thank you, you're so right about everything. It's so true. I got C-Ptsd from the abuse. I am 47 female who is the oldest out of five children my parents had. I always been the black sheep in my family. I am Empath. I went to Jesus cause of the abuse. Jesus is our hope. God is Love. I know my worth and values. My peace comes from God. God is great all the time. I been a Christian for over ten years. I got support from my friends from church. Both of my parents are Narcissists so is my grandmother. My brothers and sisters are Narcissists Enablers.
I appreciate your journey. I now believe that both my older brother and younger sister were narcissists. We have a great deal in common. The attempt to find out what is wrong so we can change the pattern. I can see it all pretty clearly now and it has been quite a journey. I am 74 this week. My brother is dead and my sister died in March of 2020. I can admit I loved them but they ate me alive so often! Now I can so clearly see. My sister married another Narcissist and I was the enemy the first day he met me. My brother was the first born, born during 1943 and when he was a little boy was the center of the family. You, I know, can image what that became. He lured me to the top bunk bed when I was about 5 1/2 and pushed me off so I fractured my thumb. He bragged about it 20 years later. My sister would get angry at me for an expression that crossed my fact. Small wonder I hadn't in touch for quite a few years, but they had to contact me every once in a while. I told my sister we were divorced. I wrote her a letter that described our history and told her we were divorced. I have learned a lot and feel so much freer now. You can sometimes see so clearly when you finally figure it out. Namaste.
OH MY GOD, you are God’s gift, you are a professor without a written dissertation. The words come from your mouth full of energy and wisdom. You deserve an honorary Phd. You have boiled, sizzled, toasted, cooked the subject with an amazing sets of words and explanations… I am speechless
This has been my life and this is so true! It has been 15 years and everyday I learn something new or have something in me validated that i needed to hear!
Thank you again Lisa. All those symptoms you listed I had. I just realized now from you that links those together. I thought the tunnel vision was from the copd I developed. I've been with her for 25 years. Since we were 15. Been married, have a beautiful 6 year old. She told me she hasn't been invested in me for many years. Over 10. We just found out she is a beautiful woman with vulnerable npd. She's brought up layers upon layers of trauma from her overt narc mother. We've been working on issues but she keeps telling me she's been in the discard phase since our daughter was born. She's understanding the narcissism but I'm afraid I'm to far gone for her to bring me back. She starts therapy tomorrow but I question her ability to change.
I really didn't know, that I didn't know. This hit deep because I remember the times my responses resonated with your descriptions. Everytime I watch a video of yours I adore you more. Thank you so much Lisa, forever grateful for you!
Well Lisa another OUTSTANDING VIDEO. I am healing Thanks to God and you. I understand all you say and can relate most of the things back to situations and various things that happened to me over the years that I didn't relate to until you helped me to "open the box" so to speak! I can, and indeed have already dealt with several issues and I feel so much lighter. I feel freerr and at peace. Of course I have still a way to go but I'm on the right road. You have been so helpful. God put you on another path so you could help people like me and many more. I can't wait to get rid of all the demons so I can tell you categorically "Mission Accomplished".
Lisa, Lisa, i came across your videos a a while ago but i don't think i was quite ready then...i have continued to do the work and this video is a confirmation that am healing...am more patient with myself and others and at the same time wont tolerate bs, not even from my children...I am healing, i am healing, At last am healing! Thank you Lisa and all you beautiful souls...lets do this together and heal the world!❤❤❤❤❤
I was made to wash every dish in the sink too even though none (or most of them) were mine. If I missed one, my father would wake me up, yell, & make me clean them. I've been no contact for almost 4 years & my mind still won't let me leave a dish in the sink overnight.
I think you should conquer your dirty pots issue, and leave some used crockery like a cereal bowl and a plate (or whatever) for a few days. Forget the narc control. they're losers.
Overwhelmingly beautiful and inspiring and validating. My favorite so far. Thank you! Help me God to get out and become the best version of myself. Tears. God bless you
Thank you for this. The word of God says: “Be ye not a hearer of the word ONLY but a doer of the word! “ We must hear in order to do. I know that I am healing as God showed me that I was codependent years ago. Also, I have been growing to the point of being able to observe therefore becoming enlightened and grateful for this work and confirmation. I know more of what I am to do and my new life path. God is so good!
Oh my God. I can't start crying now, but I am. I'm at work, but your words spoke to me in a way that makes me feel weak and limp with realization, but maybe strength too.
☀️Lisa: I never knew I was a codependent, people pleasing & conditioned ACOA married to a verbally abusive narcissist with blurry boundaries until about 2 months ago‼️ I’ve struggled with panic & anxiety most of my adult life and recently I was to the point of being unable to swallow. I left him because I was afraid I was not going to make it; stay alive. Now I’m in recovery & therapy, listening to good content like yours & separated from my husband. I was ALLOWING abuse in my life now I know I NEVER have to put up with abuse EVER again‼️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I am literally in tears right now!!! This was so beautiful!!! You are truly a amazing person and such an inspiration!! I absolutely Love you and appreciate all of the time and effort you put towards helping people and making the world a better place!! You have made such a big impact in my life!! Thank you so much for all that you do!!!
I too went through 25 years of anxiety 24/7 and thousands of panic attacks. It burned into the top of my head 24 hours a day even with lots of medicine. I should have died many times over but Jesus preserved my life in the wilderness of my life. My wife did not know what to do with me I guess. I got very negative, because she offered no love, but thanks be too Jesus he pulled me out of it. He brings me from glory to glory. My wife negated any emotions I had, I couldn't even be negative like I was not even human enough. She worked me to the bone with endless honey doo lists that were always hard. I gave and gave and gave, yet she could never love back in any way emotionally, spiritually, or physically.
I was born to a narcissistic father who ended up being a significant reason that I struggled with an eating disorder and having a *highly* unhealthy relationship to food. I developed shame to eat around him because of how he treated me. This has gone on for the last 10 years. But now I'm in the process of treating my body better and focusing on how I feel about what I'm choosing to eat. I've learned so much just the last few weeks alone. It's like this mental shift is happening for me; I'm spending less time on the scale (most days I would check it about 7-8 times each day) and more time understanding how my body feels. More time eating things that my body needs and makes me feel happy, versus binging and restricting based on my negative emotions. I feel like I'm at the beginning of my journey of healing...
AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!
Your health will improve as you heal. My health has improved soooo much since I started to work on Me and heal each week. Good Luck to you I'm rooting for you.
@@deirdreday8731 thank you so much! Good luck to you too! Wishing you amazing progress!!
With me it was my mom with an alcoholic father no other family around to see what was going on. I learned to stuff my feelings with food but was very active. Now my body reflects the many years spent as a chameleon around others no one knew what our family was experiencing. Holding in all this mess proves we are stronger than what we are experiencing or in reality what we're being forced to endure. I am so happy that you are healing! No matter what anyone else says or does, remember that you deserve the best in life and yes, you are enough on all levels of life!
Try to eating roasted dry peanuts when your hungry. It fills the hunger with very little and you’ll loose weight. Eat throughout the day sometimes when you want to lighten up. Then have a small dinner. Works amazing. You’ll feel lifted.
Happy for you.
You can do it.
I too have learned to take control of lumpen life and health. I am learning each day too.
Heres my five things:
Not afraid to say no
Dont need drugs or alcohol
Dont take on others problems
Dont try to change people or work super hard to make them understand your point of view
Dont try to fix others problems
Dont worry about what other people think about you
💯💯
“Healing will cause you to love the truth more than you fear losing someone’s approval.”
GENIUS!!! ♥️♥️♥️
Absolutely. Powerful. Genius indeed.
Say that! And say that again! 👏🏼 BOOM 💥 explosive statement! Amen!
It's such a relief to get to this point. OMG, I'm in tears just thinking about it ✌️🕊️
Yessss
A child cannot grow mentally when they have parents who throw fits and have no idea of how to handle their emotions. Most people do not realize that children learn from EXAMPLE more than they do from being "told" something. Our society wants us to believe that "good" parents are people who provide MATERIAL things like shelter & food. MOST people in our society do not learn or grow until they have already raised their children - ancient civilizations were not like this, so we are literally de-volving.
Capitalism.....
@@samhhaincat2703 it's a few thousand years older than that, it's called patriarchy - but we had 190,000 years of human sanity before patriarchy came along, so humans have a chance but only if we leave this monstrous male-led society behind
@@samhhaincat2703 yes, a big part of it.
Concur!
Totally agree with you! I was born with a narc mom and autism alcoholic father. I had a narc sister too, narc grandparents and cousins. I lived in hell throughout my childhood. These people were so toxic in many ways u could imagine. Anyway I'm on my healing journey 😅
It took me years of living alone to get to this point. This journey has improved understanding of the human condition.
Yes! The truth hurts. But it sure as hell explains everything.
Being codependent. I had no idea ...how much I thought I loved him...and he treated me so badly......why this education needs to be tsught
@@bronwyncasson8961 As children we were programmed to be there for them at all times. We were trained to be acute to paying attention to what they needed. NOW we must reprogram our mind. We can not fix this. It goes against everything we were made to believe. Once you worry about yourself before the abuser it is game over. 💕
@@perfectlyimperfect3333 Game over indeed. I cut contact with my parents almost 6 years ago, but last Christmas I had a zoom meeting with them and my brother (it was fine) and I told them that we can do this again if they organize it and it's always just the 4 of us. We had another one during the Superbowl, and then after that? Nada. They've barely talked to me in almost 6 years and they won't do that one simple thing to talk to me. I personally feel better now because the guilt is completely gone, but now the sadness is setting in. I just don't matter to them and it's really hard to accept that at a molecular level.
@@samhhaincat2703 You’re not alone. I do believe the Truth always comes out....eventually. Just remember that it’s building something inside of you that you didn’t have before... I’d rather have the truth than lies and fake games..Stay the course because you do matter and you were made for something greater... Human potential cannot be caged by narcissism unless you allow it...remember where your true strength comes from...within...they can’t touch that
You are healing if: 1. You are worried less about what others think about you. You feel lighter, and you consult yourself about what you want. 2. You have less desire to enmesh with or fix others. You become more objective and picky about who you hang out with. 3. You stop making excuses for others as well as yourself. You start hearing a nurturing parental voice telling you to improve yourself. Success flows towards order. 4. You catch negative thoughts and you change them. You realize you have far more power than you knew. You are becoming a sage....Don't give up! 5. You start setting boundaries automatically without thinking as hard about it. (comes more naturally). 6. You take a few challenges or hobbies. 7. You are less reactive to what you can't control..........(I am making progress on each and every front.). This shows up a lot behind the wheel, in road rage, etc. You don't want to wish anyone ill. 8. You are in more control of your thoughts, through non-resistance. You are able to empower your inner dialogue. Make whatever is in front of you "not such a big deal.". You will notice an uptick in your inner dialogue: "Give yourself a break.". 9. You cut the cords. You are more willing to confront your family members. You don't have to see it like they do, just respect them for their differences. You mind your own business more, take care of your own stuff. 10. Healing will cause you to love the truth more than you are worried about what they think of you. 11. You become more able to clear your mind by recognizing what you can control and what you cannot.
thank you for writing these points down.
Thank you for writing out all the points. Very helpful
The effect the stress has the body is insane. I literally almost died from narcissistic abuse by my ex-partner! I didn't know that stress could affect you that much until I got into that toxic relationship and almost died from it. Now he wants to call me and make up? No freakin way dude I almost died!
The Body keeps the score
Me too
Good for you I was the same I cannot say enough to you to Never take that Toxic person back what I say to myself is "Be gone Satan". Well done you . Enjoy your life you are unique be good to yourself!
Yes narcissistic abuse is certainly deadly. I didn't know what was wrong with my life but ultimately the abuse and confusion and toxicity led to a heart attack and a near death experience at 33 years old! Ultimately, I chose to come back into my body because I saw how much my sons needed me, and how alone we really were despite having family all around, but surviving was just the beginning of the nightmare that would unfold. Life as I knew it was over.. When my son died from an accidental overdose fifteen years later it was the same core issues and the same toxic family at the root of his pain. They are destroyers of dreams, childhoods, self esteem, marriages, families, and life, and when the worst happens you'll be grieving alone.
@@EveningTV sounds like socialism? False promises
Dear Lisa,
With all your teaching I've learnt how to choose happiness in life.
Earlier in my life, I only tried please people.
I never gave myself the love that I needed.
I always tried to make others happy.
I always thought that I am not good enough.
But now by the grace of the Almighty, I am living peacefully & practicing self-love.
Thanks for all your teaching ❤️🙏
You have taught me how to stand up for myself.
You're such a powerful lady & doing such a great work through your teaching.
Much Love❤️
Dear Lisa, thank you. That was one hour very well spent. I took some notes that I wanna share with the community:
Signs you’re healing from childhood wounds
1 you worry less what other people think and focus more on your own needs.
2 you stop taking on “projects” (stop managing other people / their trauma): becoming more conscious with human relationships.
3 holding yourself accountable: you feel
the need to get things in order.
4 realising you have the power to change.
5 you know that your thoughts create energy: you become more aware of negative thought patterns.
6 you start setting boundaries.
7 you feel less stuck: you want to create momentum in your life: wanting more from life, taking chances, getting new friends/hobbies.
8 you’re less reactive to things you can’t control: giving people and circumstances less of your energy. Practising non-resistance.
9 your inner dialogue changes: more
positive, realistic thinking. You judge yourself & others less. A more loving & nurturing inner voice.
10 you begin to cut chords with family and friends that you were once afraid to confront.
Lots of positive energy to all of you. 🧡
Thank you Judith for listing these out. Light and sunshine to you
Thank you so much….
Thank you Judith for this summary❤
Nice! Thank you!
Much appreciated 🎉
This segment describes me to a T. I was married for 32 years & my husband told me I was controlling and angry. I can see very clearly now that he spent nearly our whole marriage gaslighting me & being passive aggressive. I thought it was me because he told me it was my fault. Now that I don’t interact with him I am neither angry or frustrated. He lied, cheated & betrayed me and then told me I made him do it. 🤦🏼♀️
“I didn’t know what I didn’t know.” Growing up I knew something was wrong 😑 but I didn’t know what. I feel delayed in life. ☹️
I didn't think anything was "wrong" that is just how it was. ....until I went to a friends house at 13, and she was told to do something and rather than RUN obediently to do it, she was saucy.. and I was so sad, because I really liked her, so I turned away so I wouldn't shame her by watching her beating..her mom grumbled, swatted at her and then my gf giggled and her mom giggled, and my gf did the thing and her mom THANKED HER!!! and that was that. REVELATION.
Don’t feel delayed just look at it as a fresh start to create your own reality
Me too
Everything you’re saying--yes, yes, yes; true, true, true!!! I have been working on recovery for five years, and thanks to your guidance, I believe I am so much healthier and prepared for living the rest of my life (I am 75) in peace and authenticity. Thank you, Lisa, for the valuable work you are doing!❤️
Lisa has not only healed my life, but has totally transformed it with her incredibly effective meditations. I cannot thank her enough for invaluable power of her guided meditations which has healed my abusive childhood in a most profound way. May our Lisa shine and really save many more souls out there, in desperate need for healing 🙏❤️
Her "it's not you fault" meditation is my favourite.
I am in the process of learning: that I owe no one a relationship. I do owe a relationship to myself. I want relationships with uplifted individuals not competition, and so I am uplifting myself and trusting people to be who they are. I am trusting myself more to become who I am. When I am in the presence of high controlling/difficult people, I am practicing to say quietly in mind: OK, you are showing me who you are.
In my growth journey (recovering helper child), having a heart-set of discernment gives me many experiences of peace.
Life just isn't a contest, is it? It is so much more and so to feel when we don't let others tell us how to act, no matter who they are. Be your genuine self and you are a diamond. Clear and unbreakable.
Beautiful message ❤️
Lisa I was born in the early 60's and have ADHD, and bipolar disorder. When my parents divorced I was 5 and mom had nervous breakdown and the DHR told her to give up her kids.The doctor told me I was retarded and because of this I've been a people pleaser. I wasn't sure what I was. Suicidal, 14 times I have tried. It actually took your videos to see why I molded my life the wrong way.
In foster homes I was abused by multiple people. So finally getting to know myself and understanding what my purpose was has been life changing.
Still feeling like I have to please I put myself in to abusive relationships with "friends " ,sad to admit it I'm 59 and I'm realizing that I have engineered my destructive life experiences.
Only through your advice have I awakened myself to now I am working towards a new and better life.
Thank you for your service to we people whom are struggling with issues, your caring about others and guidance has helped me to understand that I am my own blockade in my life.
I truly love you and your channel.
May God bless you!!! May Angels guide you on your healing path .... you are beautiful soul and you are enough!!!
This is so amazing!!!! My heart is singing for you❤️❤️❤️❤️ you are a warrior my friend
I think a lot of us can be considered learning disable because we just have had such cognitive dissidence from such a young age that it’s messed with our thought process and learning. I think you’re a genius to have figured things out! Much love, respect, and compassion!
@@nightowl2481 thank you and God bless you and your family
@@elizabeth7462 thank and God bless you and your family also
OMG! I cried through this entire video. At 54yo, you just changed my life. Thank you!
Girl, you changed your own life with Gods help by listening! Go girl!
The beginning: realizing something is wrong.
Then realizing I am responsible for my healing.
Now that I am healing, I don’t care what anyone says. I know my truth. That is when the peace flows in. Finally at peace with myself. What a feeling!
The road to healing is painful at times.
But when it is good it is amazing. Keep walking on the road to healing. That is where you find yourself: an awesome self.
Working on that, frankly, I'm unused to the Quiet and the Peace so I'm struggling to simply BE. Funny I had no idea that 95% of my time and life energy was going to the" Meaner"" I'm still just .like wow. Very weird. All of this time, and I've not an idea what to do with it...
@@leahweinberger583 You will get it. The mental abuse we have suffered slows us down. It can hinder but not stop us. I know you will find you way. Peace, love and healing your way. 💕
I found out my true self was awesome 🎉
When I look back I'd a wonder i lived thru my mother's parenting. She's a malignant narcissist & very violent. My childhood was so incredibly violent. Omg. God had mercy on me. I have worked so hard for so long & now I have these videos to help me. Thank God
I want to cry
I feel the lies
And the truth has woken me up once again
The light
One candle lights a thousand candles... Giving light where no light exist
I'm b.s. rising myself
I'm in a tornado
But I'm walking through it
You had me at “I’m a truth seeker. I’m not just a hearer of the word, I’m a doer of the word”. Just subscribed ❤️
She's not meaning The Word (of God). Is that what you thought she meant? When I hear "the word" that's what I always think, so that's why I ask you.
@@ms.rainh20teachesarthe thinks she’s Christ. Into Christ consciousness and new age guff. Loves to quote Bible to endorse her spiritual guru status. She could do well striving to the codependency healing.
@@ThatsTheSpiritGodCast yes, you're right, she does think she's God. Very misled. Always seeking the truth but never finding it. We must pray for her and others like her.
I've pretty much been experiencing every single one of these 'symptoms' of healing lately. It's like experiencing life on a completely different dimension, like a journey to the self. My new way of being feels just so right and it's like taking off the blinkers that had blinded me for so long.
Same here, I'm so grateful ending up in this side of TH-cam. I thought I was alone with trauma and narcissism..etc. And I'll never recover.
Hearing Lisa describe herself in the past makes me think that she is describing my life, to the detail.
I lived this life your describing for over 60 years…with my family and husband. It was horrific!!! I sooo wish I could of healed sooner!
Thank you Lisa ❣️
As I was listening to this video, I suddenly started crying. I'm making real progress. Thank you Lisa. 🙏❤
The puppy in a pack of wolves analogy hit home. Thanks for putting into words so much of what I felt. I became someone I didn't even know with my ex.
Yeah, I'm still trying to make peace with the dishes😁😁✌️&❤️
Same here at home I become rude and cold, like I’m always defending myself outside I breath, I can feel every muscle relaxing I can think clearly ❤️
I am only halfway through but I cannot count how many deep breaths of relief I am having. I am healing. Thank you so much. We need to hear this good named and affirmed by those who understand
Healing will cause you to love the truth more than the fear of losing approval.
Everybody has these wounds and should be a school subject to learn about them to heal them on early stages of life, in the early adult youth life(20s) because we go tumbling everywhere until we deal them to sanity.
Traumatised, ignorant people are perfect for manipulation. It keeps them down. That's why law isn't taught, and the Bible is played down.
I agree!!! Ancient civilizations understood what our society does not, they taught ineffable concepts to their children - they did not separate body, mind, and spirit like we do now. The ancient Egyptian, Romans, Greeks, Mayans, Incans, Chinese, Vikings, Native Americans, Persians, and many more understood that everything is connected, mental health was a part of their overall health, they were much more "advanced" than we are now.
Omg! I use to think this way and had all these symptoms Lisa…I remember feeling exactly this way! I am feeling stronger these days. I am getting better and better each day though. I see what has been happening. Omg! I have never ever had nurturing for 55 years! I am 73 Lisa and at 56 my husband could not get it up! I knew. Know what he said to me? You are too old to have sex with! It tore me to my heart so I knew what I had to do. I had to get strong and I realized what kind of person he is! I watched every video I could watch about Narcissists. I can’t stand the man! I am still here but I avoid him as much as I can. Omg! This man is just like you are describing to a T! Thank you for all the information Lisa…I am truly thankful for your long introduction 💕🌹❤️♥️
After 33 years in February of this year I had a sudden realisation why my mums had been treating me so bad and evil all
My life and that’s she’s a full blown covert narc mother. When I found out I went into a nervous breakdown where I was crying and screaming for a whole month non stop. I then till now am going through mild depression and pushing myself to come out of it, that’s how bad my childhood with her. I’ve accepted it and I just want to move on and that now I know I ain’t the family scapegoat that was bullied and beaten up and accused for everything. I start my new life now by the name lord ❤️🙏
Very very normal to be REALLY angry. Hope you have gone no contact. You will heal much faster!!
I really needed this. Since my healing journey it’s like I’m real emotional just going through the motions. And even though I’m crying a lot every other day because I’m actually dealing with my trauma instead of shutting down (like I usually do) I am making progress so it makes me feel good that even though I’m hurting I’m doing exactly what’s necessary to make be better mentally emotionally spiritually
Thankfully I live alone...am HIGHLY independent. I am and have learned to love God, myself and others. I have learned the triggers that push me in a negative way, and chose to be still and decide to use wisdom as to how to respond. I do not like everyone....and I do not feel badly about it. I am not hypocritical...
"Letting go" should not be mistaken by conditioned, codependent victims of a narcissistic upbringing for "giving up". Strong survivors who desperately cry out for change are warriors and survivors of circumstance beyond their control. When eliminating toxic people it feels uncomfortable to venture outside our comfort zone... Learning to adjust to positive change on ones own behalf is foreign and an adjustment that is greatly helped by a life coach who has experienced it and highly qualified to help.
Thank you for your sticktuitive efforts and warrior soul. And.....for sharing☆
Thank you Lisa. I just realized my dad's dad although successful did drink to excess. My mom's dad was an alcoholic. I was raised by two adults with child brains. My boss is a malignant narcissist. I am healing with your help. God Bless you and your work!!
I am that puppy...doing my best to find another environment 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Lisa, I really appreciate how relatable your insights are, the level of clarity in your message and the energy you exude. I recognised my codependency through your videos, started working on it, and benefited tremendously from your videos. Thank you! 🙏🏻
16:49 "I mentioned this to my family and their response was "Whats wrong with being mediocre?" After I in detailed explained why I was not happy... All it did was give me the motivation to change things and grow.
Mind-strong, not forceful.
The eloquence of change for in purpose, personal direction and development.
OMG THANK YOU LOLOL I have checked off all that you’ve named and will continue to walk on this path…..I began to cry 😭 so so grateful to have come across this video….THANK YOU!!!!
My first comment totally off topic: that color is amazing on you. You always look glowing, yet you & that color are a great 'team' 🤣 Now on topic: you describe my current and past relationships. I do trigger and go 'crazy', yet I was manipulated to do it!! Wondered why I was the only one reading all the self help books, going to therapy & seminars yet I was the one that got blamed 100%. -Human Pretzel
I did the same thing...I picked up and left... almost died....
I realized I don't do well in overly competitive environments. Growing up, if I wasn't pulling in "A"s I risked rejection. Straight "A"s were the baseline, and that drew absolutely NO response from my mother. I figured if that drew NO response, heaven help me if I got a "B". Years later in the workplace, I get great anxiety if one worker is pitted against their coworkers (eg, sales). I don't want to compete with my coworkers because I fear rejection if I am not top performer. It is exhausting and draining and a healthy workplace doesn't make your coworkers the competition. I quit my job and starting a new one which is not set up in this manner.
If I didn't get A plus I owed money to my dad.
No relationship should involve competition or pitting one against another, unless it is one involved in a sport.
I had a boss who loved to pit some employees’ performances against others.
Well done L. !
Competition has nothing to do with either of thriving business nor thriving employees.
Same goes for psychopaths. It is a myth that they are good leaders. They ruin everything around them. And forcing employees to compete is just so they do not keep the eye on the ball, so the psychopath can do whatever It likes.
Good for you!! Your realized you couldn't change your work, so you changed jobs! I am in an unkind environment at my work too, I'm actively looking for another job that is supportive. Sending you hugs!
I always catch myself ruminating in the morning when I wake up. I tell myself "You're ruminating. That's not healthy". I then clear my mind, control my breathing and I'll put on a positive energy tone. ✨️
Good idea! I do this too on some days, and I will try your method.
Wonderful message. Got me to get dressed and head to the gym. Thank you.
God is in control. We got Trust God with everything.
I came across one of your videos about a month ago when I began to suspect that codependency was present in my relationship. Your videos have since helped me uncover so much about my life and the roots of my codependency that I have been blind to for 30 years. I have cried an ocean of tears about these realizations, but you have been a light in the dark. I’m not sure if you’ll even see this comment but I want to thank you eternally. You have lifted the veil from over my eyes and are helping me take control of my life. I have so much love for you. Namaste.
My unresolved childhood trauma and false subconscious programming led me to drug addiction, toxic relationships and chronic illness.
But I was able to heal from it from doing trauma release healing and subconscious reprogramming!
I’m a whole new person living a whole new existence
I just want to thank you for this video as well as every video you have generously shared with us. Six years ago I was married to a narcissist but I knew nothing about narcissism or codependency. I started googling how to deal with a husband who is fake/superficial and who makes me feel like I’m going insane. Well, you popped up with videos on narcissism. It wasn’t but a few months later, I began working on myself and found the courage to walk away. Today, I’m living a wonderful life as a manager of a domestic violence shelter helping women with your videos. I’m free, own my own home, live a very empowered life and continue watching your videos so that I can stay on the right track and help others along the way! Again, thank you!
You are an angel wow thr lord is answering all prayers in one night you're an extreme stepping stone to healing 🙏
I began my recovery thanks to YOU, I'm amazed at all the wisdom and knowledge you share with us children who come from dysfunctional homes .. May God continue to bless you even more ❤🙏
In about 220 days I’m finally going to be able to really be free! Away from my family who so rarely nurtured me or cared to listen. Finally I can be around the family of my own making.
If you continue to think the way you've always thought you'll continue to get what you've always got.
I love the unbiased and impartial way Lisa does these very helpful videos.The problem I found with therapists that work for the local healthcare services in my area on the NHS tend to be prejudgemental and unwilling to listen let alone sympathise or be able to come up with a rational truthful diagnosis and instead tend to take the narrative of other professionals who have potentially been slightly influenced by the adoptive mother and her narcsassistic nonsense painting me as a bad crazy person not capable of being a good mum let alone person!
I am so grateful I found this channel 🙏 This woman is a real living angel ♥️ Suddenly everything have a sense, like she owns a hundreds of keys which opened a hundreds of doors and showed me what was behind. Respect 🙏
I am sick to my stomach today! I’ve cried, I’ve been angry, now I’m just sick! So grateful to have u, Lisa!
Thank you Lisa...I have two narcissist parents and three adults sisters who are all trapped in the drama with them..I finally started to move on and also am beginning to address the issues I picked up to cope with them and the thought pattern they put in my head...these youtube videos from you and others saved my life.
🦋Knowledge is power + facilitates beautiful self growth+ happiness🥰
Omg went out of a relationship waited ten years to start dating again. And now dating and CAN SEE TH E RED Flags like Bells ringing! Thank goodness I have been working on myself
Amen!!!
Thank you so very much! I'm stuck in a Narcissistic relationship that's been ongoing for 15 years. I Always understood what I was dealing with, even not having any guidance or education about What I was dealing with. Of course my Narcissist didn't accept my non compliance, and has tried to make my life hell. I have stage 4 metastatic lung cancer, and now I see he's absolutely terrified of my dying, but I feel like I'm healing, I get it now and realize it was never about me.I thankfully didn't let him ruin my relationships with my loved ones, (which I paid for) but he didn't destroy me, which was his goal. If there is any possibility of getting out, don't wait. DON'T be me.
Lisa is fantastic and her work moved me along the path. She is one of few that connect the dots tween childhood trauma and narcissism manipulation. I am much more progressed these days and now see how I was hating myself by interacting with toxic people. I now feel like a person who escaped a death sentence. I am a friend among friends and have a deeper care for others I meet. You go through what you go through. Spiritually growth indeed.
You are such an amazing light Lisa. You have helped me learn to heal many deep rooted childhood wounds, I never knew what narcissism/sociopathy really was and now I can finally understand and let go of some of the hatred and hurt that was eating me alive because I couldn't figure out how a "mother" could be so cruel and have absolutely no remorse for it. I have been attracted to people with same traits as her and subjected myself to the same treatment, only (subconsciously) hoping I could change the outcome. I have the power to say no and recognize these people before allowing my subconsciousness to be drawn towards them.
I love that you don't blame others, (blaming others takes away our power) you show how we are responsible for allowing it in when adults (why we do this), and most importantly, how to take our power back and change things!!! Love and light to you and your husband, sending prayers that he heals quickly! Love and light to all those reading this!
So grateful for loving attentive grandparents, so after a few years picking people that had traits of my folks and it ending v badly I saw my hubby who had traits of my Grandad and I fought through the urge to not trust and just run and stay alone.
I'm still healing 31 years later as only realized after my brother died that's when I came out from the veil.
I have gone no contact this year and struggling a little but pushing through while kindly coaching myself with the love and support of a few fab friends and a wonderful hubby who my Grandad loved very much.
Thank for your help in easing the pain of accepting things as they are not as I wanted them to be.
Love and blessing over you and yours Lisa, really appreciate you. Xx
💜☮️🧿☮️💜
I see myself healing. Thank you Lisa. You have been an integral part of my journey these past couple of years. ❤️
Thank you Lisa for making these videos. I never really understood what was wrong (in spite of being in couseling for 5 years) until I hit rock my bottom. I followed man with malignant narcisism to his country (India) and almost got trapped there not able to return home. When I was finally able to get back home ans went no contact I came across your videos and it was soo healing to hear someone say that the abuse was not my fault...it was my programing....then I put the pieces together and discovered that my dad was a malignant narc. and I was his golden child, highly sexualized and taught to believe that my worth was tied to a man. Thank you Lisa for sharing you helped me find the problem and heal my life💞💗🙏 NAMASTE DEAREST ONE😊💋♥️
How does a Jersey girl know about Tasmanian Devils! ❤😂
Brilliant!
Thank you for a profound, calm, helpful lecture.
It feels good to be back Lisa, we thank you for all of your support.
It used to be i couldn't handle the sound of a child's cry. I had to see the child... see why it was crying... make sure it was OK... guard dogged children my whole life.
This is definitely the video that sealed it for me in realizing that I am Infact healing, catching myself midstream thoughts of negative self talk or trying to project some negative emotions on someone else, checking myself mid conversation to see which mode my nervous system is on, wanting to genuinely change habits and patterns such as secluding myself and reducing my anxiety that often pops up when I am about to get into people pleasing mode because I think it's my job to make everyone feel comfortable. Safe to say we're finally heading somewhere. Creating safety within my body
Oh my God you just described my relationship with my husband that I am leaving. Thank you for your insight and I look forward to More videos and healing! 💕
Wow Lisa. You put the headlights on my life. Yes. There actually where some monsters in the shadow.
Waking up from codependency is quite scary. Taxating.
But worth every wound.
The metaphor about the puppy and the wolves was really helpful, I will remember that. Love all your videos!
It’s like you’ve lived my same life. I can’t thank you enough for this. You’ve changed my life with your videos.
Thanks for explaining my life so thoroughly. I’m 72 and learning every day
Lisa is the therapy that's also entertainment 🍾🧡
I've been working hard at this stuff for years now, and have been crushing books. It's been a grind, but it's been like a seventh sense! Nice video, it makes me feel more secure about the lifestyle changes I've been making over the years.
I’ve been working on me since 2017 when I hit rock bottom. Going thru menopause, living/co owning 3 businesses with a narcissist for 24 years and suicidal. Isolated for the most part except for fly monkey friends. I had no idea what a narcissist was. The introduction to narcissism was a like a punch in the gut and a lifted veil all at once. I love hearing the 10 signs you’re healing. I still doubt myself and the reassurance feels good. Thank you.
Thank you, you're so right about everything. It's so true. I got C-Ptsd from the abuse. I am 47 female who is the oldest out of five children my parents had. I always been the black sheep in my family. I am Empath. I went to Jesus cause of the abuse. Jesus is our hope. God is Love. I know my worth and values. My peace comes from God. God is great all the time. I been a Christian for over ten years. I got support from my friends from church. Both of my parents are Narcissists so is my grandmother. My brothers and sisters are Narcissists Enablers.
I appreciate your journey. I now believe that both my older brother and younger sister were narcissists. We have a great deal in common. The attempt to find out what is wrong so we can change the pattern. I can see it all pretty clearly now and it has been quite a journey. I am 74 this week. My brother is dead and my sister died in March of 2020. I can admit I loved them but they ate me alive so often! Now I can so clearly see. My sister married another Narcissist and I was the enemy the first day he met me. My brother was the first born, born during 1943 and when he was a little boy was the center of the family. You, I know, can image what that became. He lured me to the top bunk bed when I was about 5 1/2 and pushed me off so I fractured my thumb. He bragged about it 20 years later. My sister would get angry at me for an expression that crossed my fact. Small wonder I hadn't in touch for quite a few years, but they had to contact me every once in a while. I told my sister we were divorced. I wrote her a letter that described our history and told her we were divorced. I have learned a lot and feel so much freer now. You can sometimes see so clearly when you finally figure it out. Namaste.
You help me so much every day Lisa. I cannot tell you how much gratitude I have for you and your passionate content.
OH MY GOD, you are God’s gift, you are a professor without a written dissertation. The words come from your mouth full of energy and wisdom. You deserve an honorary Phd. You have boiled, sizzled, toasted, cooked the subject with an amazing sets of words and explanations… I am speechless
This has been my life and this is so true! It has been 15 years and everyday I learn something new or have something in me validated that i needed to hear!
I wana cry when i listen you so much true
I always think im just wrong person
10 secs in and it resonates. Explodes in my heart. I realise now how much i have learned thank you so much Lisa
Thank you again Lisa.
All those symptoms you listed I had. I just realized now from you that links those together. I thought the tunnel vision was from the copd I developed. I've been with her for 25 years. Since we were 15. Been married, have a beautiful 6 year old. She told me she hasn't been invested in me for many years. Over 10.
We just found out she is a beautiful woman with vulnerable npd. She's brought up layers upon layers of trauma from her overt narc mother. We've been working on issues but she keeps telling me she's been in the discard phase since our daughter was born. She's understanding the narcissism but I'm afraid I'm to far gone for her to bring me back.
She starts therapy tomorrow but I question her ability to change.
I really didn't know, that I didn't know. This hit deep because I remember the times my responses resonated with your descriptions. Everytime I watch a video of yours I adore you more. Thank you so much Lisa, forever grateful for you!
Well Lisa another OUTSTANDING VIDEO. I am healing Thanks to God and you. I understand all you say and can relate most of the things back to situations and various things that happened to me over the years that I didn't relate to until you helped me to "open the box" so to speak! I can, and indeed have already dealt with several issues and I feel so much lighter. I feel freerr and at peace. Of course I have still a way to go but I'm on the right road. You have been so helpful. God put you on another path so you could help people like me and many more. I can't wait to get rid of all the demons so I can tell you categorically "Mission Accomplished".
Lisa, Lisa, i came across your videos a a while ago but i don't think i was quite ready then...i have continued to do the work and this video is a confirmation that am healing...am more patient with myself and others and at the same time wont tolerate bs, not even from my children...I am healing, i am healing, At last am healing! Thank you Lisa and all you beautiful souls...lets do this together and heal the world!❤❤❤❤❤
I was made to wash every dish in the sink too even though none (or most of them) were mine. If I missed one, my father would wake me up, yell, & make me clean them. I've been no contact for almost 4 years & my mind still won't let me leave a dish in the sink overnight.
I think you should conquer your dirty pots issue, and leave some used crockery like a cereal bowl and a plate (or whatever) for a few days. Forget the narc control. they're losers.
@@MH-cv5ye I definitely should work my way up to that.
Overwhelmingly beautiful and inspiring and validating. My favorite so far. Thank you! Help me God to get out and become the best version of myself. Tears. God bless you
Thankyou Lisa .. l love your 10 signs you're healing . Your talks have been a great source of healing. My eyes have been opened.
Reactive abuse. This is everything to me. Thank you.
Thank you for this. The word of God says: “Be ye not a hearer of the word ONLY but a doer of the word! “ We must hear in order to do. I know that I am healing as God showed me that I was codependent years ago. Also, I have been growing to the point of being able to observe therefore becoming enlightened and grateful for this work and confirmation. I know more of what I am to do and my new life path. God is so good!
I’m so grateful for all you have learned and for sharing this knowledge and your talents. God bless you Lisa ❤️
Oh my God. I can't start crying now, but I am. I'm at work, but your words spoke to me in a way that makes me feel weak and limp with realization, but maybe strength too.
☀️Lisa: I never knew I was a codependent, people pleasing & conditioned ACOA married to a verbally abusive narcissist with blurry boundaries until about 2 months ago‼️
I’ve struggled with panic & anxiety most of my adult life and recently I was to the point of being unable to swallow. I left him because I was afraid I was not going to make it; stay alive.
Now I’m in recovery & therapy, listening to good content like yours & separated from my husband. I was ALLOWING abuse in my life now I know I NEVER have to put up with abuse EVER again‼️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I am literally in tears right now!!! This was so beautiful!!! You are truly a amazing person and such an inspiration!! I absolutely Love you and appreciate all of the time and effort you put towards helping people and making the world a better place!! You have made such a big impact in my life!! Thank you so much for all that you do!!!
I too went through 25 years of anxiety 24/7 and thousands of panic attacks. It burned into the top of my head 24 hours a day even with lots of medicine. I should have died many times over but Jesus preserved my life in the wilderness of my life. My wife did not know what to do with me I guess. I got very negative, because she offered no love, but thanks be too Jesus he pulled me out of it. He brings me from glory to glory. My wife negated any emotions I had, I couldn't even be negative like I was not even human enough. She worked me to the bone with endless honey doo lists that were always hard. I gave and gave and gave, yet she could never love back in any way emotionally, spiritually, or physically.
This is brilliant! Thank you so much ♡
I am officially in your 12 week recovery program, another step in this journey. 🙏