@21:00 VICTIM SIGNALING AND VIRTUE SIGNALING... False VULNERABILITY and MIRRORING... 》AND TESTING YOU BY COLD-READING... Narcs disclose fake wounds expecting you to disclose true wounds... so they can use them against you
Being left behind by a narc is like the ultimate compliment. They're basically saying you're too smart, strong, and self aware for them to control and get supply from.
It is EVIL down right , the person in my life my hubby has no integrity , he would just go on to tell you anything and everything in front of others . He even would reveal all secrets . He instigates and provokes and when you react strongly you are the one to be blamed for being violent
Narcissists promise you a dream life, but, inevitably , narcissists steal your dreams. They promise you a life, yet, steals your life. Literally physically, financially, emotionally, mentally, and so scary, BUt narcs always assimilates your entire character. It’s a scary thing to have survived this type of evil individual.
Yes my poor ex’s new wife got every trip and event in the same order. She probably thinks it’s the love of a lifetime- but we share the same memories LOL
Believe them because sometimes at first that is the only thing you can manage to do without getting killed and sometimes if they are psychopathic too while claiming that is called pro-life. When a person manages to escape that sort of thing be prepared for maybe being called out as 1 of the 10 top crazy ones for awhile until it all blows over instead no matter what their only public persona is.
I'm a kid.. And I know a narc and this is 200% true. 24/7 he says "what's wrong what's wrong what's wrong" and blah blah blah, you know. And I recently figured out why... He wants to know my weaknesses, by knowing what is currently going on in my life!
@@theeveronever1554 its comments like this that show how stigna and lack of poroper understanding about mental health is really needed before spread further the generations. Its not your fault as you said your a kid so learning from the people round you. So you know somebody who can be described as narcasistic.. He is still a person .Would you call an elderly person who has dementia "the denented" or someone with cancer " a cancer" the specific illness they have.. They are not the cancer they have just been diagnosed with the condition. Labels like this are not for people in general. They simply to tell you what's needing repairing or educating about. Judging others instead of understanding is more damaging too. I'm a sensitive person. And often notice when people have have stuff on their mind. So will ask if they ok or what's wrong.. this is genuine concern from me and can be the same for anyone, with or without disorders. You can ask him why he asking that speciality. when I'm having a panic attack , its so confusing and distressing I will struggle to remember what I was doing. Distressing memories from my past still upset or scare me by popping into my head randomly. So ill ask the people round me random questions to help change my train of thought. They know I just need a little help with distracting while it looks like I'm just a nosy person asking random questions to others. Literally just trying to give you some understanding in how what we think about others and their actual reasons can often differ. Please take no offence. as none intended at all. Just sharing ways people misjudge others easily.
You know I'm dealing with my second dracula and that phrase just made me realise how did I fall a second time into inviting another one into my life¡¿ He was so eager to know everything about me specially my wounds... So he could mirror them and make me feel sympathy and connection with him.... And i mistook that strategy with him feeling empathy for me!!!!!! What a sleek manipulator.
One comforting thing about watching coaches like Lisa and others is this: If a woman like her, with brains, beauty, wisdom, empathy and humour ‘wasn’t enough’ then it demonstrates the warped minds of narcs. Brings it home that it’s definitely not us, it’s THEM!
He lied. I yelled at him for lying. It’s now my fault because I yelled about his lying, but we’re no longer talking about his lying and he never apologized for lying!
Lol. You made him lie. He was using his super mind reading powers and knew you were gonna yell at him. So of course it's your fault. ... You know the mind reading powers you are supposed to have!
On finding out somebody lied to you, have you - or anyone here - ever thought about that what made that person lie to me in the first place or why they felt unable to tell me the truth about something in that context, at that point in time? Ever since "discovering" this question I find it useful when I am pausing and stepping back to gain perspective to understand, reflect on and deal with experiences that are or appear to be contradictory, irrational, complex, disproportionate/mis-aligned or when my gut feeling tells me that something is not quite right or add up. I find that answering such question with utmost honesty only using facts (not assumptions or others' inferences!) with logical thinking utilised I can understand dynamics of situations and layers of meaning better that improves my compassion as, for the moment, I stop to modify my path; I step outside not only to imagine what it could feel like to the other person (empathy) and to make sense of things but also to use this reflection to view my own behaviour (helpful response vs unhelpful reaction; actual clarity and places of my boundaries vs they should have been or I wish them to be; presence and integrity by acting authentically triggered by intrinsic values rather than external aims/incentives vs being disrespectful by ignoring or going across the other person's boundary and/or acting without moral compass by partially truthful, withholding something or even manipulating aiming at sometimes external, including others' [assumed] expectations being noticed and seen to be the character by others that I wish to be / I created as a public persona instead of the real (fallible and imperfect) one. That simple question of what made this person lied to me proved to be instrumental to get on a journey which takes me through re-visiting and re-framing my childhood experience to create a more realistic narrative whilst creating clear boundaries with my parents instead of the walls of shame that are gradually eroding but we are still having between us persisting things like rejection, loss of belonging or lack of identity through disconnection and definedness of rigidity.
Also “you are too emotional”, “all your thought process is based on emotions, not logic so I can’t talk to you”… two sentences that my malignant ex narc boyfriend said
I fell in love with one before I knew the word existed. Love bombed. Then I was disgusting and a disappointment to him. I'll never be the same. Run away.. Now
Don't speak that. You will be stronger, better, and wiser because of dating him. Share your testimony with others. Fast, pray, seek God's face, and enjoy being alone for a little bit. Start a new hobby or whatever the case maybe. Go to counseling, and do what you have to do to take care of you.
@@donnaofMelbourneFlorida Don't have a victim mentality. Don't let someone have control and power over you. Jesus said He came to have life and life more abundantly. Seek a true, whole, and loving relationship with God and self. Rest in God. Seek counseling and therapy for healing if need be. God loves you, and do do I. And there isn't anything that you can do about it. 😘😘😘😘😘
Try living with your spouse and not speak or sleep together for years. Was just a roommate. I finally got out. It wasn’t a marriage and when he did speak in the years before it was always to degrade or put down, or blame, never a compliment, or encouraging word. I’m so glad I finally got out. Over 40 years and thru the seasons I thought he would change. They don’t change😕they only get meaner. Weeks of no talking would have been easy it was years of no communication and neglect that I finally said I’m out. Best decision I ever made.
A narcissist will treat you so bad to the point where they will make you leave them because they won't leave before they have found a new supply. It's not time for them to go. They go on there own terms. I'm a survivor of a narc it only took me 6 months to see he was a impostor. By Gods grace I escaped spending years of manipulation because you'll never get that waisted time back. It is these types of videos that helped me figure out those traits. I don't do dating site's because narcissist hide in them. They looking for a vulnerable heart sick woman. Be very carful who you tell your vonerabilities to.
They be Down Low Gay, not to Divorce and leave you for another woman, most times it's a Man, and that's why they have no Balls to file for the Divorce and whoever is on the side is happy with breadcrumbs they are giving, What type of man marries a woman and suddenly stops sleeping with her?? Yeah one in love with another man.. A Real Man Not Going To Do That Men have a very high sex drive, all they do is playing games with multiple people, bet Female's and Male's wondering why they can't come to these types of Men House or Apartment, Right because the Main Wife is There, They looking dumb and retarted if they a Baller it's all fine and dandy, then soon as they hit the hospital they looking for us to help. Go to the person that's been the Standby Call Them 💪🏼☺️
True. The less they know the better. They will use it against you or laugh on the inside that you are suffering. Its sick. Setting strong boundaries or just cutting ties is the way to deal with these predators.
I have recorded phone conversations between the nutjob and our 9 year old son .. screaming at our son because Mom (me) took food from the pantry & a bottle of cleaner without asking permission.. somehow it was twisted into the child's fault because he ate the food, at the end of the conversation 😬🙄
@@fourboys1gr Well, the kids should have a place at the dinner table (with dessert), and he can feed himself, give him nothing... except divorce papers.
Eh, this one would. She buy me a hat, little 5 dollar shirt, some shoes and dress shirts a pair of pants. A 300 dollar drawing tablet and a 200 dollar go pro. The problem with this is now u owe them and for a longtime. U must become their slave at that point and don't even get mad if guys talk to them. 😂
There is an added complication in that narcissists see other people as narcissists. Narcissists project their narcissism in a way that makes the non-narcissist start believing that they are the narcissist.
I feel the same way. Am just realizing that the malignant narcissist I was friends with for decades, somehow led her family (who I always really liked and admired) to believe that I am the narcissist. And she is some kind of victim. It's beyond mind-boggling and frankly, depressing and just makes you want to throw up your hands. BC these sociopaths are THAT good at manipulating the truth.
So true. Your normal is to live in an upside down world where your only hope of any love is ignoring yourself and pleasing someone else. Then you become a disadvantaged adult.
Lisa, narcissists also play the hero game to those in need. Opening doors for strangers. Rescuing the friends or the old lady. Socially conscious or so it appears. Even bringing grocery carts back to the cart place. But same person gaslights you, neglected you, fault finds everything about you, makes fun of you, never comes through on their promises,... And this is how they hook in a big way. Appears so kind to others, so you emotionally rationalize their bad behavior towards you.
@@MJ-qb5ph it's beginning to be labeled at this point bc I would consider myself religious n vulnerable. What we look for are patterns in behavior. Not labels. That's what I've learned through the sev yrs of recovery n education anyway. Labels can hinder as much as they can identify who's who. But ultimately narcs n empath codependent can both be same label. Similar behaviors too bc all people have narcissistic traits but not all people are narcissists. I think YT has really labeled stuff about narcs where they're missing key elements to tell audience like empaths n narcs share labels. It's the PATTERNS of behavior we decide who's the narc n who's the empath.
@@forensicfaithinprofiling Thank you for your wisdom. I’m religious and vulnerable too but hopefully don’t use it as a cloak to manipulate and abuse. You make good points. Bless
It's mind-blowing how every single behaviour, even the words you mention matches my experience. And that feelling in my body whenever interacting with them, as being punched in my stomach, my throat contracting, feeling nauseous and losingy grip on reality. Feeling drained. The fear to mention some issues because they would lash out or attack me for something not related to the subject. And the confusion because once Idistance myself they would be nice and helpful for a moment to draw me back.
1. Gaslighting 2. Word Salad - crazy making 3. Blame Game - they're the victim although they hurt you or embarrassed you, etc. 4. Projection - accuses if what's going on with them - like them accusing you if what they just did to you 5. Silent Treatment - want to wear you down & make you feel weak & vulnerable. 6. Highly hypocritical-do what they condemn you for doing 7. Playing perpetual victim - people are jealous, their pain is more important than others' pain. People are out to get them. They justify their bad behavior. 8. Passive Aggressiveness 9. Backhanded compliments 10. Inconsistent validation then condemning. When it's your turn to have needs, GOOD LUCK. They will make excuses. Nice only part of the time. 11. Selective memory - they remember your bad stuff but not your good. Use the Memory Game to abuse you, put you down, minimize your pain or experience. 12. Use your wounds against you. 13. Chameleons - Will be who you want them to be then switcheroo once your guard is down. 14. Push intimacy right away..use "the L word" way too early. 15. Will tell you intimate details of their life..some sob story to garner sympathy. 16. Will ask you early to self disclose 17. Flattery.. I would never treat you that way 18. "I never felt this way before" 19. False vulnerability. 20. Mirror you. They like everything you like 21. Sense of entitlement. Get upset when you don't respond right away 22. Don't listen to you 23. Want adoration and praise 24. Can't/won't remain faithful 25. Wants you offsite right away 26. Hard to spot in person, harder to spot online 27. Dominance and control 28. It just feels wrong 29. wants to get to know you too fast or have sex too fast. 23. No accountability in past relationships 24. Petty insults to chip.away at your security /self esteem 25. Fights to win, not grow closer in understanding. 26. Will mock your wounds or use them in an argument. 27. Triangulation. Cites opinions of others to hurt you, knock you off balance 28. Strangers get the best version of them --for approval /narcissistic supply 29. If you're a good narcissistic source, they *might* show up for you if it will garner them praise and adoration. BIG 3 E's: 1) Lack of Empathy -not responsive to your sharing or other people 2) sense of Entitlement - You owe them. The WORLD owes them. Justified in their behavior. They're their own God. 3) Exploitation - pushes your boundaries, feels no empathy for others suffering. it's all about how your problems effect THEM. Entitled to lash out, shame, blame, deceive, embarrass you, minimize and marginalize you. Take, borrow, etc.
Brilliant. Thank you Elizabeth. I found this video amazingly helpful and was going to work through it all again and write them down but see you have already done it for us. MWAH!
This is REALLY GREAT STUFF!!! Wish I could cut n paste to keep referring back to it as I change my social interactions. I've been so crippled. Now I understand better!!!!!
This video validates and explains my entire life - from narcissist mother to narcissist husband and then narcissist long term relationship. I kept falling into these same types of relationships until I realized what was happening as I aged and kept working with a therapist. It’s so so hard to get out of these abusive and traumatic relationships. I felt so confused most of the time. Now I understand I was being gaslighted most of my life. It took me most of my lifetime get out of this mess. I’m grateful to be out and rebuilding my life as an older person.
Oh I have a daughter is one, me and my husband divorced in 2010 and men's don't look at me I think she had something to do with it. Every time she come on hard time and move back with me don't won't to pay her share and tell lies on me like I'm the bad person I had to show are tough love and put her out my house it hurt she say my sister wouldn't charge her nothing I told her to go stay with her
Me too, mother is a narc, Ex-husband was a narc, and a long-term boy-friend, too. OMG, I am so exhausted and drained in every way from this. I am 53 and want to live in peace, finally.
I have so much to say , but here’s one thing - when a narcissist cheats on you , the rest of the relationship they will find any situation within your life to question your loyalty and accuse you over and over again using manipulation and gaslighting as what makes them believe why this even could be a reality . And when they do admit cheating on you - because they do admit it at some point - they dont take responsibility for it and GASLIGHT you with entitlement and guilt as to what YOU contributed or should i say lacked in contribution within the relationship that made them do it . Its never their fault - its always because of how you made them feel. Ugh i have so much more to say .
I finally truly understand " I'm not crazy I'm codependent". The crazy making behavior examples in the video has left me speechless. Thank you beautiful Lisa 🙏
When he finds out how you really feel beware of the love bombing . Oh here it goes again! A vicious cycle, like a bad dream it reminds me of 50 first dates although it’s the horror movie version.
Hello...I'm giving him the silent treatment...because I'm done...I recognized him as a narcissist because of his lies and how he has no accountability no explanations as to y he lied...which means eventually there will be an end to this relationship...THE END😎
@@catalinamoreno4528 Your one of the strong ones!!! I have been with mine for 32 years so it’s very hard for me to let go. It is going to end eventually for me. I have embedded her in my life and had made her happiness more important than my own. My children now grown were the primary people in my life. I have been left struggling to find my own self again. Thank god I am a strong person that has a do not give up mind set. Do yourself a favor make yourself number one and stay away from that Narcissist. For me it seems as even though my relationship was always toxic my do not give up attitude kept my roots growing deeper. Good luck and I hope you will find the peace you and all of us deserve!!!
The last narc I dated tried telling me that my reactions to his crazy making were crazy making. I was like dude you are soooo projecting it's crazy. He is such a hypocrite!!!! He criticizes everyone around him behind closed doors and then he pretends to like them to their face and does a lot of the things he criticizes.
This is really good! About the ‘look how he treats someone who can’t do anything for them’ : my ex is really nice to waiters and he helps people in need because he gets his supply from appearing to be nice, he wants to be the hero. So watch out for that as well! Your story about your ex is a good example for that as well, he will help someone in the middle of the night with the car trouble because he wants to be the hero.
My current husband puts his mother are biological daughter in his biological daughters from his 1st marriage before me I have got a Christmas present in years and I been married 27 years
I get the same reply from my own daughter you know mommy know how this is you should just leave well when you have no parents in I have no support system because I've been kept isolated all these years I am working my way to my freedom and pray every day that I will get released from this toxic relationship that I have been in for so long
Not only do they like to APPEAR to be the hero, they also keep a running scorecard at all times. Know that if they lend you anything, even their time..it is like money in the bank to them and they will draw that ace of ♠ on you in a New York minute!
He'll help any stranger in need who is kind of begging or flattering him to an insane extent up to self Exploitation or unlogical Action but when his daughter or wife is asking for the exactly same thing he is repeatedly ignoring or postponing them until theyre giving up or will make up reasons why it's not possible. Just providing is boring but being begged and bowed to gives them the Throne they want. Covert stepfather, finally all madness revealed when getting addicted to gambling and willingly traded no treatment for marriage and family.
Hands down, this is the BEST video on these demons that I have ever watched! My head was spinning out of control until I watched this! WOW!!! Thank u so much for this!!!!
The worst of them are a lot more insidious than that. They are so manipulative in knowing how to apply peer pressure that you better be on the look out when finding the best spaces for you to be.
It sounded horrible when she said "they don't care if you get cancer, they don't care" God that sounded brutal coming from her. But somehow when he said " I don't give a f**k about you and/ or your f**king cancer" he wasn't lying he didn't . I went through that completely alone because I have not one friend in the world. And I was an orphan. Incredible. I'm so glad I found this woman and another male expert in this. Thank you, thank you, thank you !!!! I'm on my way out now. God bless you ! ❤️😊🌼☮️
My ex is all over dating sites and hes in a supposed committed relationship. And hes a good looking guy with an excellent act . You just cant tell at first. Be very careful online. Good luck !
I am going to be ruined publicly because i plan to go np contact. He is friends with my land lord and all he has to donis make a phone call. Please advise. I have no money and was homeless. Knowing he has that power is nerveracking.
@@katieguillaume4298 I am going no contact and my family holds some sway in my town. The pain of willful slavery and confusion is worse than the pain of the unknown and the path of righteousness. I will pray for our strength.
Thanks again kind lady. This is an important reminder. I have an ex who I have joint custody with for our son M.J. She seems to be definitely more narcissistic than not, even though she does an excellent job blending into modern ethical society. They always give two and take four or ten. It is maddening because she has used our son as a pawn and she is smart enough to never get caught doing anything illegal unlike most drug addicts. There is always a 'good reason' that she pulls up on command to justify her terrible behaviour. This video helps me because it clarifies her in a true and honest light, and also helps me keep my own narcissistic behavior in check. And, knowing is half the battle. Nevah again. I deserve to be treated better than this!
I agree with the word that you used parasitic because they sack all the emotion and thought process out of you until you have nothing left their emotional vampires
I meet some good people but we dont work together and lose contact but mostly the .....They work me over and they hang out and party together and set traps for us outsiders
My first and only marriage, was to a man with NPD. It was a "test" run, married in Mexico. Little did I realize that it would be legal in the US. I was 22 and never heard of Narcissists. Teaching young people is so incredibly important Lisa, as you well know. The Internet is educating those who are curious. I am grateful that you are preventing many from involvement, and revealing those in unhealthy relationships a way to evaluate their lives. There are many varieties of Pathological Narcissists; and speaking from experience I believe I've encountered all sorts, since I dated frequently in my younger years. Every long term relationship was to men with high Narcissistic tendencies. Therefore, this last time was only a business relationship. Finally, I put my foot down. Only then did I see MY PATTERN of trusting too much, and giving away all my power. Yes, please get all kind, generous people to look at themselves! Only then will we stop Narcissists in their tracks!
Lisa, I think this is one of your best videos ! I never quite heard such both a comprehensive unpacking and breakdown of just what to expect, anticipate and reminisce, it’s the complete before, during and after with all the proper “buzz words” excellent presentation too BRAVO !😊
All day, I was finally sitting there in an “argument” realizing I was never going to get through to this person. It was like an out of body experience.
There is something seriously wrong with these parasites, what makes a human being behave in this manner it’s sick and I thank you Lisa and other channels for making people aware. My husband has had many victims over the years which I have compassion for. The narcissist using my children to lure victims in is sick.
@@vtymes1982 Try EMDR (4 Vet's PTSD) w/ a "Trauma Therapist". A round or 2, Helps tremendously. It's very SLOW, thereafter! At least, for complex/ "c-PTSD".
Marilyn you can say that again! I cut off most of the Narcs I know & have been celibate for a year while I work on healing & enhancing my self awareness etc
It is hard, but possible. Educating ourselves on NPD and manipulative tactics is KEY. I've met a safe man (who is also a Narc survivor from his dad) and he's now my husband...it's possible! But I completely understand why survivors of this stay away from people altogether. ❤️
@@ekatarina4090 You're a narc leaving multiple argumentative comments on multiple threads and defending narcs Just stop. Maybe spend some time offline with a mental health professional.
Have. any of you asked. How I got into this relationship? Did I make a decision when I was vulnerable? Did I not set boundaries at. the start? You don’t have my consent to talk to me like that!
I've been listening to your videos for 5 years. You've no idea how much you've helped me realise alot of things, self reflect and move forward in life. Also, your voice brings me a sense of calm. Thank you soo much for all you do.
OMG, you had me LMFAO when you said "dead ass serious" I love watching and listening to you. I do not feel alone, Narcissist are their own worst enemies. If you listen very carefully they will tell on themselves. You have explained all the points I have went threw. THANK YOU for being you!!! You are wonderful.
I’m in a long term relationship with someone I feel is a narcissist and we have a child together. Now that I know my brain isn’t the issue, that it’s what this long term abuse has done to my brain and how much I lost my true self thru this, I’m trying to find a way out without too much fall out. I have up days and down days, I can start the day off strong and focused, and then by mid afternoon I find myself questioning things and fighting internally.
What do you think about this: I have a tendency, when I get so worn down, to mirror the narcissist's behavior. Meaning if they ignore me, I ignore them. I turn cold and distant, whether they notice or not. I've just lost interest in trying anymore, and it's exhausting. I just shut down entirely. When they try to rouse me from my sleep-walk by sudden explosive outbursts over nothing and I just mumble "shut the f-up." I am still recovering from spine surgery, and lacking in the physical strength to move on, yet my spirit has already left the building. I have no desire to engage yet just their mere presence is so draining. I notice how my energy shifts for the better when this particular person is gone for most of the week for long distance work.
Their shenanigans are "emotionally" exhaustive! However, the Grey Rock Technique is very similar. You simply don't react or seem totally "unbothered" by anything they say or do! It's a good method to use as you plan to get away from a Narcissist!
@@teal1010 The grey rock technique has only half worked with me. My narc psychopathic neighbour with a fixation on me thinks I'm doing nothing as I hardly show my face .... because I'm on a course. Grey rock = achieving something. On tbe other hand I'm still being harassed in various ways by noise, the latest is to get her narc partner to use speakers to make booming sounds out of their window when I'm in. She sits watching my comings & goings from her kitchen window, she put up black blinds so she can see out but no one can see in.
Also mimics everything I do so now I hide my purchases in different bags, I'll be damned if shes going to steal my ideas as well (although she has already....)
I had to finally leave, very hard but necessary...I was on to a breakdown..free now year and a half, still healing but free from crazytown. I was with him 13 years. I'm 61. Don't wait till you're older...its harder on you
I've been recently diagnosed with another autoimmune disease. My ex narc behaved right down the line on your 3 points. I didn't know what a narc was. I'm very empathic. I'm learning to have healthy boundaries. Thank you
@@monicanapier9087 from what I understand, the continual stress and control (esp financial abuse to the point Dr care and basic food, living needs were ignored) triggered the autoimmune atrophic gastritis. Once that's triggered, it's not going reverse
I went through so much emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist as a child, I didn't realize she would continue to find ways to victimize me as an adult. Once she was done with me, she started in on my child. She started using my child as bait. I should have run for my life at age 18. Narcissists can be really dangerous.
I am eternally grateful for you Lisa, you are a dear one to me. I have been watching and listening to every video of yours for the last month. I, at 39, finally realized that I am a textbook co-dependent. I have finally realized that I have the ability to observe my emotions and ask myself important questions, “is this a co-dependent thought?” and you have given me so much personal power with your tools. I love you as I love my mom. You are a spiritual sister to me. Keep sharing these life-saving videos. Namaste and much love from NC.
This is great and from personal experience, Lisa is spot on. Something that I’ve learned about a narcissist… They don’t like hard hitting questions. They hate being figured out. Actively listen to what they are saying… They always tell on themselves. Trust. They need you more than you need them.
You are so spot on. What happens behind closed doors can only be believed if you lived it like me and my daughter with my ex who everyone “loves”. If they only knew 😢
💌 Namasté Lisa🙏🏻 You are so fervent today. Only 3 minutes in & I am going to make time to sit down & take notes because right now, I am remembering how at age 5 my brother broke his leg when he got stuck trying to squeeze through a picket fence in the neighbor's back yard. I was 7 1/2. I ran to get help. It was scary. My mother told everyone that it was my fault. She started making me responsible for people & situations outside myself early on. So grateful to be on this deep healing journey. So grateful to you & our community for being a part of that journey💕
Your not alone with past experiences. Keep looking ahead for better times. Dont ever say this....I remeber that one time when.....make every weekend a special time
Ex did this to my daughter. Now she's doing it to me! She treats me like I am her child. Her dad acts like she's his wife. She tells me to show him respect,??? Her dad is starting up again. Told her I was driving erratically, walked like I was angry (even imitated it to her) and said something he didn't hear, but it might have been such and such (just made something up!) And she calls and chews me out.!!!! He abused my children but no one seems to understand I do not want anything to do with him.
Every word of this is literally so true! This narcissist who manipulated me was even admitting he liked things just because I liked them! I don't need that, I need respect and authenticity in a person!
“Healthy relationships are explainable... they just make sense!” Preach!!... I was forever having to get clever to sugarcoat our relationship story. Apparently I’m a good storyteller because I never lied and no one had a clue how toxic our relationship was and is. Everything you say makes everything I’ve been through with him, make sense. Thank you! 🙏🏻
One little lie when you first get to know them is a bigger picture of themselves than ppl realize... Then little clues that ppl usually ignore start telling a bigger story...
Yeah the love bomb stage is so confusing because you think there’s no way your partner could be such an A hole if they are loving me like this ! It’s like a game a mean older sibling would play on a younger family member. Like smacking the younger one in the head. And making them cr y. Then comforting the younger one afterwards. Then when the younger one calms down SMACK there it goes again ! We at to call that part of the stage the SUCKER stage in order to help us not want to be one again ! Yeah it’s not our fault for being born with a loving heart. I hope you find someone who appreciates you !
Everything is absolutely truth about narcissist. They are emotional damage to people who value honesty and pure conscience and specially for kids, they are hazardous and for our sanity... 🤔🤔🤔🤔🏡🇬🇧
I can’t explain how grateful I am for this TH-cam channel and your videos!! You saved me!! I feel like my whole life and perspective has changed after watching your videos. So much makes sense now. Throughout this entire video my mind kept getting blown because you were describing my narcissistic sister to the tea! I feel so alone because no one understands what I’m going through or what it’s like dealing with a narcissist unless they’ve been in a deep relationship with one themselves.
Holy Hell You just rang the Bell , insidiously trained and/or conditioned to Not Question "Them" ! Why would we possibly have wanted and put up with them and these behaviors ; but for my own ignorance-(lack of information). Every single other lie that You just spelled out fits to a " T " . Your Work and Help are greatly appreciated !
I am now paying the price for my years of denial. Ahhh, she'll change this time. Now, 10yrs later my 7yr old twin girls are also paying for my biggest mistake. That is what hurts the most.
There was a guy I was with for over 2 years, he asked me how I was maybe 5 times throughout our whole relationship, it shocked me and weirded me out every time because most of the time he couldn't care less. Interesting that Lisa brings up a narcissist not caring about someone getting cancer. One of my narcissists told me that there was a woman he had dated once who was diagnosed with cancer, and that because she had cancer she wouldn't be a good candidate for having kids so he stopped talking to her even though she kept trying to reach him. He said he didn't want her to be led on, and that it was 'very difficult for him' to talk to her. I wish I had walked out on him then and there. I would have saved myself so much time and energy. They act like they're so tough but they are enormous babies and cowards.
Jesus Christ!!!!!😦😦😦 This describes my toxic parents to a tee!! I'm so glad I went no contact. Thank you, Lisa, for posting this video. It helps me deal with the guilt of no contact this holiday season.
Lisa, My husband is a classic narcissist, but plays very caring and sympathetic to waiters and waitresses and loves to help others that he knows or knows him. He is very careful , skillful and plotting on how to keep his outside appearance as pristine, caring, loving because it fools others and allows him to gain attention and admiration for himself. He is a real people pleaser, fake of course because he is the devil at home when crossed. Totally plays everything to his wants. Completely not empathetic. Jeckyl and Hyde. He is very covert.
Everything you let us know about narcissist behavior is absolutely TRUE. Lisa, I want to thank you for opening not only opening my ears and eyes, also my mind. My, now, ex boyfriend did everything to me. I have literally left him (again) and this is the last. He constantly accused me of cheating on him if I didn't feel like having sex, or if I simply had a feeling or God forbid, an opinion. Gaslighting, constant verbal abuse, accusations.... I could go on and on. Ladies, and gentlemen.. listen to her. She is absolutely ON POINT.
My narc husband acted like he was a runner (I’m an avid runner). He hasn’t run a step since we first met. He also acted like he was eager to travel (I want to see the whole world), but he only leaves the house to go to work. He spends all his free time in front of his computer.
@@utubeelvi No, he writes software and sells it on Apple. He’s even got a Wikipedia page, he’s such a geek. His office door is always open, and his screens are huge. I can literally walk in there at any time, and he’s deep into some software crap (or hospital work, since he’s also a doctor at a hispital).His screens are pretty much visible as soon as you enter his office. I wish he were enough of a go-getter to find someone else.
He made me put up profiles for him on online dating apps. I don't know how I stayed so long. I believe I stayed because I had a little hope for him, I loved his kids, and it was my townhouse, I would have ruined my credit if I just left. But I told him to leave and it took him several months to leave. I changed the locks after he left,eventually I had to move but he found out my new address. That was scary, I don't know how he found it. Stay in prayer, live your life and heal, never go back
One thing I am very grateful for through this experience with a narcissist is the immense growth in my mind body and soul . I now know who I really am have established boundaries and gaining my power back 😊
Lisa I have experienced this with my sister, girlfriends and boyfriends. I have a degree in psychology and psychiatric rehab. And its be a minute since I had to really thing about the behaviors and criteria. I just want to thank you for your work. I have over the years cut people off because of how they made me feel and all of them are narcissistic along with other diagnoses. Thank you for the refreshers. Keep up the good work of informing use to recognize the behaviors .
I'm the mom of a daughter married to a covert narcissist. It's worse than people know. I have been put through the ringer. I did figure it out several years ago. I didn't recognize it. Now my mental and physical health has plummeted . I'm treating as the child. It's so bad.
My second husband, never went anywhere with me. People were even unsure that I was even married. My friends were not worthy of his company. All of a sudden he wanted to go to an event with me. While we were there he told them several things he thought would embarrass me. It did not work of course because my friends knew who I was.
This is crazy accurate for me! Especially "blame game" - today I got hurt by an insensitive comment he made, walked away in tears. I came back to the room he was in, he smiles at me really huge, I guess I didn't smile back, he says "OH! I forgot, you're pissed off at me" and walked around slamming doors, cabinets, etc. As usual, my feelings have truly inconvenienced him! Thank God I found you! It's helping me keep my mind together.
I’m dealing with the same. But she’s a covert narcissist and has the wool pulled over everyone’s eyes. Been with her 5 years and I just got the dots connected 3 days ago… I simply exposed this to her and she’s been gone 2 days now so thank God for that!
@@greenlawnservicesllc7453 damn, that escalated quickly!😥 I am sure it's for the best she left, and sadly, you see how correct you were in the fact no discussion was had, no (even fake) attempts towards change! I sort of admire all of this, you ripped that bandaid right off! I have picked at the same scab FAR too long! There's always a reason for me to stay, to deal with it, but I see that is 100% on ME now! I exposed him during a heated fight, said he wasn't even original, he is TEXTBOOK narcissistic 101, so when the dust settled & ANY conversation comes up he doesn't like he will be like "well, I'm an evil narcissist, REMEMBER?!?!" WHO CAN FORGET?😳🤣 it's his go-to for being a schmuck. I know it hurts now, but for what it's worth, I'm super proud of you & know your life is going to change in GREAT ways!✌♥️
@@debbiedebster5806 thanks for the kind encouraging words. For what they are worth to me, is priceless. I admire people who take time to encourage others so for what that’s worth, you should be commended.. I still feel sorry for her thinking that maybe she’s not a covert or doesn’t know she’s one and a so doesn’t know she’s covertly doing it.. idk but what I do know is your message is spot on the money and a breath of fresh air. However, your situation sounds tuff at home and I’m sorry to hear it.. I hope it gets better for you Debbie Debster.
Lisa, you are tapped in. Your wisdom is so insightful and it keeps evolving. I feel like the sharing of our continually evolving insights is like a mega transformation process a lot of us are going through, together 💕☮️🌈 It’s so liberating
Lisa Ramona ~saving lives. I have a sibling-like this, and through Lisa, I now understand why my siblings don't want to hear anything about narcissism, they see themselves in the material. Gaslighting to no end, complete manipulation, and one day the righteous spirit made her say she feels like a loser and that everyone is better than her. She went on and on about how badly she sees herself.
We thank God for great coaches, as yourself and others, who are educating us In these things and helping us to be better aware and informed of these individuals, and there behaviors, and how to recognize them and then how to react and respond , 😊.👍👍💯.
A narcissistic “friend” will happily take your help and ideas then reject you when you ask for help whilst preaching to you that people should give in order to receive.
Sounds like my wife’s worst moments. But she is the most amazing woman and in sickness and health, I am all in. Coming up on 16 years and every day I love her more and more! We all have our downfalls. Going head to head with a narcissist is futile. I don’t believe this means narcissist are somehow bad. On the contrary! The more I learn about my queen, the more I am grateful for this unmovable wall. Using the correct approach this fault can be a great asset. From my experience dealing with my wife, using patience, consistency, showering her daily with actions of love like hugs and kisses, her previous manipulation tactics become the greatest stroke to ego. The “love bombs” you talk about, thats the special sauce! While I do not share her flaws, I have my own in different ways. I just think labeling someone a narcissist and calling it bad, seems a lot like narcissism. Man, lot of hating and labeling in this video. If there are so many narcissist out there, doesn’t that raise the question maybe there are good reasons? That said, I enjoyed your video because it is important to understand when you’re being attacked and not let that cut you down inside. Nobody should ever feel less than, that’s a lie.
I have done a lot of care and care related work through my life and charity work. He said he’d never done anything for anyone or given anything to charity.
My narcissistic husband said because I told him to go find someone better after he said he can find someone better than me . He tried to date someone at his job afterwards. That was the excuse he gave me. And the girl he tried to date felt something was wrong with him because he was coming to her apartment unannounced early before work and she would act like she wasn’t home
so I've been married 31 yrs and the last 10-12 I've been focusing more on being whole hearted and righting wrongs I've made with my sons.....being codependent with unaware narc husband...the statements you make are like "wow" "that is what I came up with in "educating myself"...your views are spot on with mine... like unaccountability, low empathy, a strange "toxic loyalty to his narc family members", no childhood memories, "you said" arguementive statements, avoidant, reactive, gas lighting,
Even if I had seen these videos before the discard…. I would have denied that she had these traits. She became a different person in the flip of a switch, one day just stopped talking to me and treats me like I am her arch enemy. Holding my daughter against me and basically took everything we worked so hard to achieve. And so much more…just 🤦♂️
When you are nice to and comply with them they are mean to you. When your mean to them they are nice to try to bring you back for more abuse. It's a twisted relationship .
Lisa... I LOVE watching your brilliant work! You have such a deep understanding of NPD and your presentation is Wonderful. XO
Charles Munroe Leave that girl alone!!!!!! Lol
@@susanoline5823 Hi Susan… Just appreciating brilliance…
Fhffg
@21:00 VICTIM SIGNALING AND VIRTUE SIGNALING...
False VULNERABILITY and MIRRORING... 》AND TESTING YOU BY COLD-READING...
Narcs disclose fake wounds expecting you to disclose true wounds... so they can use them against you
Amazing... Thanks Lisa
Being left behind by a narc is like the ultimate compliment. They're basically saying you're too smart, strong, and self aware for them to control and get supply from.
Thank you for that insight..put a smile on my face.
I like this perspective
@@peacefuljustice4801 l ml L
I LOVE THIS STATEMENT, THANKS
Love this 💕
A narcissist is exhausting and draining and frustrating.
Yes my thoughts exactly!!!
Skehctzeezes!
The Watchman, Absolutely True!!
Change you approach........then they wont be.
Plus they will NEVER change. Distance is the only way.
It’s so abusive. It’s so aweful. It’s evil. They are so cruel! I’m so sorry for all of us who have dealt with this pain
Yes. God help them heal
Overwhelming how many people out there suffering the same pain. Big hugs for all of you!
@@alicewonderland8027 🤗
P l?? Z0
It is EVIL down right , the person in my life my hubby has no integrity , he would just go on to tell you anything and everything in front of others . He even would reveal all secrets . He instigates and provokes and when you react strongly you are the one to be blamed for being violent
Narcissists promise you a dream life, but, inevitably , narcissists steal your dreams.
They promise you a life, yet, steals your life. Literally physically, financially, emotionally, mentally, and so scary, BUt narcs always assimilates your entire character.
It’s a scary thing to have survived this type of evil individual.
Your description frankly reminds me of someone who is, spiritually speaking, a servant of the 👿.
Yes ,It's so sad what they do to you, listening to her just validates what he does to me ..Its a Nightmare
The Spiritual Badass Yes! And the life ends up being a 'bad dream' life, not the wonderful one you assumed or believed they meant.
Yes my poor ex’s new wife got every trip and event in the same order. She probably thinks it’s the love of a lifetime- but we share the same memories LOL
@@LoveFaithLive they promise you a dream but they deliver a nightmare!
In a narcissistic relationship you become fearful when the narcissist is kind or friendly to you, because you know something must be wrong.
They get "nice" when they need your money or assistance for something.
Ultier motive
This is very true. I’m in a marriage this way right now
@@typorter660 I HOPE YOU GET OUT!
@@typorter660 me too!
When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. -- Maya Angelou
Right...💯💯
Believe them because sometimes at first that is the only thing you can manage to do without getting killed and sometimes if they are psychopathic too while claiming that is called pro-life. When a person manages to escape that sort of thing be prepared for maybe being called out as 1 of the 10 top crazy ones for awhile until it all blows over instead no matter what their only public persona is.
My favorite quote. Also another good one is how you met the person is how they will leave you.
@@ks790 that hit home about my situation. well played
Normal people do mistakes but there is limit .N repeat it ,they r immature .they do it on purpose though v stop them
Be careful, they use your wounds against you. Extremely dangerous.
I'm a kid.. And I know a narc and this is 200% true. 24/7 he says "what's wrong what's wrong what's wrong" and blah blah blah, you know. And I recently figured out why... He wants to know my weaknesses, by knowing what is currently going on in my life!
@@theeveronever1554 its comments like this that show how stigna and lack of poroper understanding about mental health is really needed before spread further the generations.
Its not your fault as you said your a kid so learning from the people round you.
So you know somebody who can be described as narcasistic.. He is still a person .Would you call an elderly person who has dementia "the denented" or someone with cancer " a cancer" the specific illness they have.. They are not the cancer they have just been diagnosed with the condition.
Labels like this are not for people in general. They simply to tell you what's needing repairing or educating about.
Judging others instead of understanding is more damaging too.
I'm a sensitive person. And often notice when people have have stuff on their mind. So will ask if they ok or what's wrong.. this is genuine concern from me and can be the same for anyone, with or without disorders. You can ask him why he asking that speciality.
when I'm having a panic attack , its so confusing and distressing I will struggle to remember what I was doing. Distressing memories from my past still upset or scare me by popping into my head randomly. So ill ask the people round me random questions to help change my train of thought. They know I just need a little help with distracting while it looks like I'm just a nosy person asking random questions to others.
Literally just trying to give you some understanding in how what we think about others and their actual reasons can often differ. Please take no offence. as none intended at all. Just sharing ways people misjudge others easily.
You know I'm dealing with my second dracula and that phrase just made me realise how did I fall a second time into inviting another one into my life¡¿ He was so eager to know everything about me specially my wounds... So he could mirror them and make me feel sympathy and connection with him.... And i mistook that strategy with him feeling empathy for me!!!!!! What a sleek manipulator.
@@lalunacee9168 You've missed the point completely and doing exactly what narcissists tend to do: GASLIGHT PEOPLE!!
@@theeveronever1554 Good on you! You're exactly right, wish I'd had that wisdom when I was a kid.
One comforting thing about watching coaches like Lisa and others is this: If a woman like her, with brains, beauty, wisdom, empathy and humour ‘wasn’t enough’ then it demonstrates the warped minds of narcs. Brings it home that it’s definitely not us, it’s THEM!
Yeah I’ve noticed that - same for Melanie Tonia Evans - these ladies are really nice
Great point. ❤
He lied.
I yelled at him for lying.
It’s now my fault because I yelled about his lying, but we’re no longer talking about his lying and he never apologized for lying!
Lol. You made him lie. He was using his super mind reading powers and knew you were gonna yell at him. So of course it's your fault. ... You know the mind reading powers you are supposed to have!
Typical
That's the ploy. You yell and YOU are the problem so you shut up. They they continue to lie knowing you won't say a word.
Honey they are like that. That is apart of the disorder, and your best bet is to move on.
On finding out somebody lied to you, have you - or anyone here - ever thought about that what made that person lie to me in the first place or why they felt unable to tell me the truth about something in that context, at that point in time? Ever since "discovering" this question I find it useful when I am pausing and stepping back to gain perspective to understand, reflect on and deal with experiences that are or appear to be contradictory, irrational, complex, disproportionate/mis-aligned or when my gut feeling tells me that something is not quite right or add up. I find that answering such question with utmost honesty only using facts (not assumptions or others' inferences!) with logical thinking utilised I can understand dynamics of situations and layers of meaning better that improves my compassion as, for the moment, I stop to modify my path; I step outside not only to imagine what it could feel like to the other person (empathy) and to make sense of things but also to use this reflection to view my own behaviour (helpful response vs unhelpful reaction; actual clarity and places of my boundaries vs they should have been or I wish them to be; presence and integrity by acting authentically triggered by intrinsic values rather than external aims/incentives vs being disrespectful by ignoring or going across the other person's boundary and/or acting without moral compass by partially truthful, withholding something or even manipulating aiming at sometimes external, including others' [assumed] expectations being noticed and seen to be the character by others that I wish to be / I created as a public persona instead of the real (fallible and imperfect) one.
That simple question of what made this person lied to me proved to be instrumental to get on a journey which takes me through re-visiting and re-framing my childhood experience to create a more realistic narrative whilst creating clear boundaries with my parents instead of the walls of shame that are gradually eroding but we are still having between us persisting things like rejection, loss of belonging or lack of identity through disconnection and definedness of rigidity.
"You're too sensitive."
If you hear those words, you are being invalidated and you should run for the hills. Every time. Every situation. Trust me.
I've heard this from my ex wife several times!😬😬😬
agreed
Yep. "Too" any adjective!!! It's a soft slap before the harder slap's are coming...
Also “you are too emotional”, “all your thought process is based on emotions, not logic so I can’t talk to you”… two sentences that my malignant ex narc boyfriend said
My dad has told me not to be so sensitive and I told him that he better tell the same thing to my mom
I fell in love with one before I knew the word existed. Love bombed. Then I was disgusting and a disappointment to him. I'll never be the same. Run away.. Now
It's like a satanic 2 person cult.
He's the satanic leader - can artist and you are his member - you have to worship him .
No, you are not the same. You are better.
Don't speak that. You will be stronger, better, and wiser because of dating him. Share your testimony with others. Fast, pray, seek God's face, and enjoy being alone for a little bit. Start a new hobby or whatever the case maybe. Go to counseling, and do what you have to do to take care of you.
@@susanoline5823 Amen.
@@donnaofMelbourneFlorida Don't have a victim mentality. Don't let someone have control and power over you. Jesus said He came to have life and life more abundantly. Seek a true, whole, and loving relationship with God and self. Rest in God. Seek counseling and therapy for healing if need be. God loves you, and do do I. And there isn't anything that you can do about it. 😘😘😘😘😘
Try living with your spouse and not speak or sleep together for years. Was just a roommate. I finally got out. It wasn’t a marriage and when he did speak in the years before it was always to degrade or put down, or blame, never a compliment, or encouraging word. I’m so glad I finally got out. Over 40 years and thru the seasons I thought he would change. They don’t change😕they only get meaner. Weeks of no talking would have been easy it was years of no communication and neglect that I finally said I’m out. Best decision I ever made.
I am so happy for anybody that gets out...
Thank you for your information. I was able to get through a relationship that could have really stressed me.
A narcissist will treat you so bad to the point where they will make you leave them because they won't leave before they have found a new supply. It's not time for them to go. They go on there own terms. I'm a survivor of a narc it only took me 6 months to see he was a impostor. By Gods grace I escaped spending years of manipulation because you'll never get that waisted time back. It is these types of videos that helped me figure out those traits. I don't do dating site's because narcissist hide in them. They looking for a vulnerable heart sick woman. Be very carful who you tell your vonerabilities to.
@@wendythomas8039 1:38:25
They be Down Low Gay, not to Divorce and leave you for another woman, most times it's a Man, and that's why they have no Balls to file for the Divorce and whoever is on the side is happy with breadcrumbs they are giving, What type of man marries a woman and suddenly stops sleeping with her?? Yeah one in love with another man.. A Real Man Not Going To Do That Men have a very high sex drive, all they do is playing games with multiple people, bet Female's and Male's wondering why they can't come to these types of Men House or Apartment, Right because the Main Wife is There, They looking dumb and retarted if they a Baller it's all fine and dandy, then soon as they hit the hospital they looking for us to help. Go to the person that's been the Standby Call Them 💪🏼☺️
Never share your thoughts vulnerability and things that hurt you to a narcissist. They are there to use and abuse you
So painfully true...I found this one out the hard way.
@@amandabaker4250 yes it is extremely painful. Same thing happened to me
True. The less they know the better. They will use it against you or laugh on the inside that you are suffering. Its sick. Setting strong boundaries or just cutting ties is the way to deal with these predators.
Unfortunately you don't always know they are narcissistic as they are acting...it's not until their mask drops....woah, then you find out.
Definitely experienced this. It’s the worse
They will also buy food and clothes for themselves and not for anyone else in the house. Everything is about them
So very true.
I have recorded phone conversations between the nutjob and our 9 year old son .. screaming at our son because Mom (me) took food from the pantry & a bottle of cleaner without asking permission.. somehow it was twisted into the child's fault because he ate the food, at the end of the conversation 😬🙄
My Narc covert husband, he would (with car full if kids) go to a store get a giant pop not offering anyone else anything.
@@fourboys1gr Well, the kids should have a place at the dinner table (with dessert), and he can feed himself, give him nothing... except divorce papers.
Eh, this one would. She buy me a hat, little 5 dollar shirt, some shoes and dress shirts a pair of pants. A 300 dollar drawing tablet and a 200 dollar go pro.
The problem with this is now u owe them and for a longtime. U must become their slave at that point and don't even get mad if guys talk to them. 😂
There is an added complication in that narcissists see other people as narcissists. Narcissists project their narcissism in a way that makes the non-narcissist start believing that they are the narcissist.
The definition of evil!
I feel the same way. Am just realizing that the malignant narcissist I was friends with for decades, somehow led her family (who I always really liked and admired) to believe that I am the narcissist. And she is some kind of victim. It's beyond mind-boggling and frankly, depressing and just makes you want to throw up your hands. BC these sociopaths are THAT good at manipulating the truth.
Exactly!!! You nailed it!
Projection and deflection
Projection yep
Yes, our self esteem never got built if we had narcissists for parents.
So true. Your normal is to live in an upside down world where your only hope of any love is ignoring yourself and pleasing someone else. Then you become a disadvantaged adult.
Nothing but endless guilt and feeling responsible for things that aren’t even your fault…
I only have any because my Dad did his best to offset my mother's negativity.
How can the non narc parent help? I've tried for years. I blocked her from my life. She blocked him from my life. He's a train wreck.
Lisa, narcissists also play the hero game to those in need. Opening doors for strangers. Rescuing the friends or the old lady.
Socially conscious or so it appears. Even bringing grocery carts back to the cart place.
But same person gaslights you, neglected you, fault finds everything about you, makes fun of you, never comes through on their promises,...
And this is how they hook in a big way. Appears so kind to others, so you emotionally rationalize their bad behavior towards you.
They are wolf in sheep skin
@@georginafronda496 sadly yes that's true. Hopefully little red riding hood got smarter now w all this WONDERFUL education on channels like this!! ❤
Don’t forget the vulnerable religious saint
@@MJ-qb5ph it's beginning to be labeled at this point bc I would consider myself religious n vulnerable. What we look for are patterns in behavior. Not labels. That's what I've learned through the sev yrs of recovery n education anyway. Labels can hinder as much as they can identify who's who. But ultimately narcs n empath codependent can both be same label. Similar behaviors too bc all people have narcissistic traits but not all people are narcissists.
I think YT has really labeled stuff about narcs where they're missing key elements to tell audience like empaths n narcs share labels. It's the PATTERNS of behavior we decide who's the narc n who's the empath.
@@forensicfaithinprofiling Thank you for your wisdom. I’m religious and vulnerable too but hopefully don’t use it as a cloak to manipulate and abuse. You make good points. Bless
It's mind-blowing how every single behaviour, even the words you mention matches my experience. And that feelling in my body whenever interacting with them, as being punched in my stomach, my throat contracting, feeling nauseous and losingy grip on reality. Feeling drained. The fear to mention some issues because they would lash out or attack me for something not related to the subject. And the confusion because once Idistance myself they would be nice and helpful for a moment to draw me back.
Pounding heart too.
1. Gaslighting
2. Word Salad - crazy making
3. Blame Game - they're the victim although they hurt you or embarrassed you, etc.
4. Projection - accuses if what's going on with them - like them accusing you if what they just did to you
5. Silent Treatment - want to wear you down & make you feel weak & vulnerable.
6. Highly hypocritical-do what they condemn you for doing
7. Playing perpetual victim - people are jealous, their pain is more important than others' pain. People are out to get them. They justify their bad behavior.
8. Passive Aggressiveness
9. Backhanded compliments
10. Inconsistent validation then condemning. When it's your turn to have needs, GOOD LUCK. They will make excuses. Nice only part of the time.
11. Selective memory - they remember your bad stuff but not your good. Use the Memory Game to abuse you, put you down, minimize your pain or experience.
12. Use your wounds against you.
13. Chameleons - Will be who you want them to be then switcheroo once your guard is down.
14. Push intimacy right away..use "the L word" way too early.
15. Will tell you intimate details of their life..some sob story to garner sympathy.
16. Will ask you early to self disclose
17. Flattery.. I would never treat you that way
18. "I never felt this way before"
19. False vulnerability.
20. Mirror you. They like everything you like
21. Sense of entitlement. Get upset when you don't respond right away
22. Don't listen to you
23. Want adoration and praise
24. Can't/won't remain faithful
25. Wants you offsite right away
26. Hard to spot in person, harder to spot online
27. Dominance and control
28. It just feels wrong
29. wants to get to know you too fast or have sex too fast.
23. No accountability in past relationships
24. Petty insults to chip.away at your security /self esteem
25. Fights to win, not grow closer in understanding.
26. Will mock your wounds or use them in an argument.
27. Triangulation. Cites opinions of others to hurt you, knock you off balance
28. Strangers get the best version of them --for approval /narcissistic supply
29. If you're a good narcissistic source, they *might* show up for you if it will garner them praise and adoration.
BIG 3 E's:
1) Lack of Empathy -not responsive to your sharing or other people
2) sense of Entitlement - You owe them. The WORLD owes them. Justified in their behavior. They're their own God.
3) Exploitation - pushes your boundaries, feels no empathy for others suffering. it's all about how your problems effect THEM. Entitled to lash out, shame, blame, deceive, embarrass you, minimize and marginalize you. Take, borrow, etc.
😊
Brilliant. Thank you Elizabeth. I found this video amazingly helpful and was going to work through it all again and write them down but see you have already done it for us. MWAH!
Thank you!
Excellent summary! Thank you!
This is REALLY GREAT STUFF!!! Wish I could cut n paste to keep referring back to it as I change my social interactions. I've been so crippled. Now I understand better!!!!!
This video validates and explains my entire life - from narcissist mother to narcissist husband and then narcissist long term relationship. I kept falling into these same types of relationships until I realized what was happening as I aged and kept working with a therapist. It’s so so hard to get out of these abusive and traumatic relationships. I felt so confused most of the time. Now I understand I was being gaslighted most of my life. It took me most of my lifetime get out of this mess. I’m grateful to be out and rebuilding my life as an older person.
Oh I have a daughter is one, me and my husband divorced in 2010 and men's don't look at me I think she had something to do with it. Every time she come on hard time and move back with me don't won't to pay her share and tell lies on me like I'm the bad person I had to show are tough love and put her out my house it hurt she say my sister wouldn't charge her nothing I told her to go stay with her
Me too, mother is a narc, Ex-husband was a narc, and a long-term boy-friend, too. OMG, I am so exhausted and drained in every way from this. I am 53 and want to live in peace, finally.
Same.
Power and peace to you.
Have a great day.
@@a.s.r.3661You might like the Crappy Childhood Fairy channel or some Abraham-Hicks.
Hope you get feeling better soon.
God bless every single day being 🆓✝️!!!
I have so much to say , but here’s one thing - when a narcissist cheats on you , the rest of the relationship they will find any situation within your life to question your loyalty and accuse you over and over again using manipulation and gaslighting as what makes them believe why this even could be a reality .
And when they do admit cheating on you - because they do admit it at some point - they dont take responsibility for it and GASLIGHT you with entitlement and guilt as to what YOU contributed or should i say lacked in contribution within the relationship that made them do it .
Its never their fault - its always because of how you made them feel.
Ugh i have so much more to say .
I finally truly understand " I'm not crazy I'm codependent". The crazy making behavior examples in the video has left me speechless. Thank you beautiful Lisa 🙏
So true i saw all the signs but did not know what i was dealing with
I’m going through the silent treatment now and little that he knows we’re done !
When he finds out how you really feel beware of the love bombing . Oh here it goes again! A vicious cycle, like a bad dream it reminds me of 50 first dates although it’s the horror movie version.
Me too!
You're very fortunate
Good luck
Hello...I'm giving him the silent treatment...because I'm done...I recognized him as a narcissist because of his lies and how he has no accountability no explanations as to y he lied...which means eventually there will be an end to this relationship...THE END😎
@@catalinamoreno4528
Your one of the strong ones!!!
I have been with mine for 32 years so it’s very hard for me to let go. It is going to end eventually for me. I have embedded her in my life and had made her happiness more important than my own. My children now grown were the primary people in my life. I have been left struggling to find my own self again. Thank god I am a strong person that has a do not give up mind set. Do yourself a favor make yourself number one and stay away from that Narcissist. For me it seems as even though my relationship was always toxic my do not give up attitude kept my roots growing deeper. Good luck and I hope you will find the peace you and all of us deserve!!!
The last narc I dated tried telling me that my reactions to his crazy making were crazy making. I was like dude you are soooo projecting it's crazy. He is such a hypocrite!!!! He criticizes everyone around him behind closed doors and then he pretends to like them to their face and does a lot of the things he criticizes.
Right!!!
💥💥💥💯
Sounds like my husband
If you want to know if you are with a Narcissist, simply call them accountable for their behavior!
Their head will almost explode!
Do as I Say, Not as I Do! Yup, That is them 100%.
This is really good! About the ‘look how he treats someone who can’t do anything for them’ : my ex is really nice to waiters and he helps people in need because he gets his supply from appearing to be nice, he wants to be the hero. So watch out for that as well! Your story about your ex is a good example for that as well, he will help someone in the middle of the night with the car trouble because he wants to be the hero.
@59DebraLynn you take care as well Debbie ❤️🙏🏻
My current husband puts his mother are biological daughter in his biological daughters from his 1st marriage before me I have got a Christmas present in years and I been married 27 years
I get the same reply from my own daughter you know mommy know how this is you should just leave well when you have no parents in I have no support system because I've been kept isolated all these years I am working my way to my freedom and pray every day that I will get released from this toxic relationship that I have been in for so long
Not only do they like to APPEAR to be the hero, they also keep a running scorecard at all times. Know that if they lend you anything, even their time..it is like money in the bank to them and they will draw that ace of ♠ on you in a New York minute!
He'll help any stranger in need who is kind of begging or flattering him to an insane extent up to self Exploitation or unlogical Action but when his daughter or wife is asking for the exactly same thing he is repeatedly ignoring or postponing them until theyre giving up or will make up reasons why it's not possible.
Just providing is boring but being begged and bowed to gives them the Throne they want. Covert stepfather, finally all madness revealed when getting addicted to gambling and willingly traded no treatment for marriage and family.
“They want you incapacitated by your fear of what they might think about you.”
WOW!!!
So true!
Hands down, this is the BEST video on these demons that I have ever watched! My head was spinning out of control until I watched this! WOW!!! Thank u so much for this!!!!
Everything that comes out of thier mouth is provocative. Crazy making gaslighting acid tongue
The worst of them are a lot more insidious than that. They are so manipulative in knowing how to apply peer pressure that you better be on the look out when finding the best spaces for you to be.
Better not to have too much interaction if you. Can avoid it...
Chop the snake up
Abcdefg ok
@@rosysingh551 right on
It sounded horrible when she said "they don't care if you get cancer, they don't care" God that sounded brutal coming from her. But somehow when he said " I don't give a f**k about you and/ or your f**king cancer" he wasn't lying he didn't . I went through that completely alone because I have not one friend in the world. And I was an orphan. Incredible. I'm so glad I found this woman and another male expert in this. Thank you, thank you, thank you !!!! I'm on my way out now. God bless you ! ❤️😊🌼☮️
Hamster wheel is a great analogy of being with a narcissist...
My ex is all over dating sites and hes in a supposed committed relationship. And hes a good looking guy with an excellent act . You just cant tell at first. Be very careful online. Good luck !
@@christianpulisic7784 Thank you ! And I agree no more narcs 🙂
Not just online, in real life too. They put on a very convincing act.
irrational attachment to feeling responsible for things you're not guilty for - wow that hit hard.
I am going to be ruined publicly because i plan to go np contact. He is friends with my land lord and all he has to donis make a phone call. Please advise. I have no money and was homeless. Knowing he has that power is nerveracking.
@@katieguillaume4298 I am going no contact and my family holds some sway in my town. The pain of willful slavery and confusion is worse than the pain of the unknown and the path of righteousness. I will pray for our strength.
Thanks again kind lady. This is an important reminder. I have an ex who I have joint custody with for our son M.J. She seems to be definitely more narcissistic than not, even though she does an excellent job blending into modern ethical society. They always give two and take four or ten. It is maddening because she has used our son as a pawn and she is smart enough to never get caught doing anything illegal unlike most drug addicts. There is always a 'good reason' that she pulls up on command to justify her terrible behaviour.
This video helps me because it clarifies her in a true and honest light, and also helps me keep my own narcissistic behavior in check. And, knowing is half the battle. Nevah again. I deserve to be treated better than this!
There are so many of them out there , it's just not worth it !
Absolutely Not Worth it, Never Again.
I agree with the word that you used parasitic because they sack all the emotion and thought process out of you until you have nothing left their emotional vampires
I meet some good people but we dont work together and lose contact
but mostly the .....They work me over and they hang out and party together and set traps for us outsiders
It's becoming more common than not and we have no protection
@@looweegee252 Where do they come from? My first encounter with them was in 2011. Dangerous and potentially deadly. Evil with no remorse. 🤔🤨🤓
My first and only marriage, was to a man with NPD. It was a "test" run, married in Mexico. Little did I realize that it would be legal in the
US. I was 22 and never heard of Narcissists.
Teaching young people is so incredibly important Lisa, as you well know. The Internet is educating those who are curious. I am grateful that you are preventing many from involvement, and revealing those in unhealthy relationships a way to evaluate their lives. There are many varieties of Pathological Narcissists; and speaking from experience I believe I've encountered all sorts, since I dated frequently in my younger years. Every long term relationship was to men with high Narcissistic tendencies. Therefore, this last time was only a business relationship. Finally, I put my foot down. Only then did I see MY PATTERN of trusting too much, and giving away all my power. Yes, please get all kind, generous people to look at themselves! Only then will we stop Narcissists in their tracks!
Thank you for telling my relationship story in a way better than I could ever tell it myself.
In agreement!
Lisa, I think this is one of your best videos ! I never quite heard such both a comprehensive unpacking and breakdown of just what to expect, anticipate and reminisce, it’s the complete before, during and after with all the proper “buzz words” excellent presentation too BRAVO !😊
Many times I've apologized just to get the person to shut up.
Endlessly
Mine wouldn't stop even after I would apologize 🙄 so I simply stopped talking
@@dieie13 😂 I stopped talking to them period. Barely anyway.
@@dieie13 Same here
All day, I was finally sitting there in an “argument” realizing I was never going to get through to this person. It was like an out of body experience.
There is something seriously wrong with these parasites, what makes a human being behave in this manner it’s sick and I thank you Lisa and other channels for making people aware. My husband has had many victims over the years which I have compassion for. The narcissist using my children to lure victims in is sick.
How did you survive and become healthy enough to move forward.
Yes they will definitely do that it happened to me my ex did that exact same thing to me it waz awful !!!!
Yes!
So so true !!!
@@vtymes1982 Try EMDR (4 Vet's PTSD) w/ a "Trauma Therapist".
A round or 2, Helps tremendously.
It's very SLOW, thereafter!
At least, for complex/ "c-PTSD".
It’s so hard wanting to meet someone “safe” and ok.
Normal😊
Marilyn you can say that again! I cut off most of the Narcs I know & have been celibate for a year while I work on healing & enhancing my self awareness etc
It is hard, but possible. Educating ourselves on NPD and manipulative tactics is KEY. I've met a safe man (who is also a Narc survivor from his dad) and he's now my husband...it's possible! But I completely understand why survivors of this stay away from people altogether. ❤️
@@ekatarina4090 You're a narc leaving multiple argumentative comments on multiple threads and defending narcs
Just stop. Maybe spend some time offline with a mental health professional.
thats so true--i left my ex a few years back and still too wary to try again--J.
That's exactly it. They are unable to empathize or unwilling they see it as a weakness.
Have. any of you asked. How I got into this relationship? Did I make a decision when I was vulnerable? Did I not set boundaries at. the start? You don’t have my consent to talk to me like that!
Absolutely.
Once I realized what the hell was happening!
Yes, they claim you're abusing them when you set boundaries
They project their abuse onto you
I needed help. That’s how he fished me.
💯💯💯💯
I've been listening to your videos for 5 years. You've no idea how much you've helped me realise alot of things, self reflect and move forward in life. Also, your voice brings me a sense of calm. Thank you soo much for all you do.
Their pain was worse than mine, always, according to them.
And the "memory game" was definitely crazy making.
OMG, you had me LMFAO when you said "dead ass serious" I love watching and listening to you. I do not feel alone, Narcissist are their own worst enemies. If you listen very carefully they will tell on themselves. You have explained all the points I have went threw. THANK YOU for being you!!! You are wonderful.
Lala Dulce
So, sooooo true👍
Took a while for me to get that.
I’m in a long term relationship with someone I feel is a narcissist and we have a child together. Now that I know my brain isn’t the issue, that it’s what this long term abuse has done to my brain and how much I lost my true self thru this, I’m trying to find a way out without too much fall out. I have up days and down days, I can start the day off strong and focused, and then by mid afternoon I find myself questioning things and fighting internally.
I thank God this nightmare is over. Heal and block them never look back, run 🏃♀️ is a understatement
What do you think about this: I have a tendency, when I get so worn down, to mirror the narcissist's behavior. Meaning if they ignore me, I ignore them. I turn cold and distant, whether they notice or not. I've just lost interest in trying anymore, and it's exhausting. I just shut down entirely. When they try to rouse me from my sleep-walk by sudden explosive outbursts over nothing and I just mumble "shut the f-up." I am still recovering from spine surgery, and lacking in the physical strength to move on, yet my spirit has already left the building. I have no desire to engage yet just their mere presence is so draining. I notice how my energy shifts for the better when this particular person is gone for most of the week for long distance work.
Their shenanigans are "emotionally" exhaustive!
However, the Grey Rock Technique is very similar.
You simply don't react or seem totally "unbothered" by anything they say or do!
It's a good method to use as you plan to get away from a Narcissist!
@@teal1010 The grey rock technique has only half worked with me. My narc psychopathic neighbour with a fixation on me thinks I'm doing nothing as I hardly show my face .... because I'm on a course. Grey rock = achieving something. On tbe other hand I'm still being harassed in various ways by noise, the latest is to get her narc partner to use speakers to make booming sounds out of their window when I'm in. She sits watching my comings & goings from her kitchen window, she put up black blinds so she can see out but no one can see in.
Also mimics everything I do so now I hide my purchases in different bags, I'll be damned if shes going to steal my ideas as well (although she has already....)
I had to finally leave, very hard but necessary...I was on to a breakdown..free now year and a half, still healing but free from crazytown. I was with him 13 years. I'm 61. Don't wait till you're older...its harder on you
@@conniedean6842 I’ve been free 18 months after 16 years. I’m so happy for you and hope you are enjoying you!!! I’ve never been happier.
Yep that silent treatment thing will make you absolutely insane.
I've been recently diagnosed with another autoimmune disease. My ex narc behaved right down the line on your 3 points. I didn't know what a narc was. I'm very empathic. I'm learning to have healthy boundaries. Thank you
I've gotten over my RA using meditation and yoga but first I had to go no contact! I pray you can overcome your diseases
Thank you😌
@@looweegee252 thank you!
Your autoimmune diseases are caused by trauma bond stress. Wow!
@@monicanapier9087 from what I understand, the continual stress and control (esp financial abuse to the point Dr care and basic food, living needs were ignored) triggered the autoimmune atrophic gastritis. Once that's triggered, it's not going reverse
I went through so much emotional abuse at the hands of a narcissist as a child, I didn't realize she would continue to find ways to victimize me as an adult. Once she was done with me, she started in on my child. She started using my child as bait. I should have run for my life at age 18. Narcissists can be really dangerous.
I am eternally grateful for you Lisa, you are a dear one to me. I have been watching and listening to every video of yours for the last month. I, at 39, finally realized that I am a textbook co-dependent. I have finally realized that I have the ability to observe my emotions and ask myself important questions, “is this a co-dependent thought?” and you have given me so much personal power with your tools. I love you as I love my mom. You are a spiritual sister to me. Keep sharing these life-saving videos. Namaste and much love from NC.
This is great and from personal experience, Lisa is spot on. Something that I’ve learned about a narcissist… They don’t like hard hitting questions. They hate being figured out. Actively listen to what they are saying… They always tell on themselves. Trust.
They need you more than you need them.
I have been totally broken...for so many years !..Thank you so much for this knowledge!...it is truly time for me to heal!...☺️🙏
You are so spot on. What happens behind closed doors can only be believed if you lived it like me and my daughter with my ex who everyone “loves”. If they only knew 😢
💌 Namasté Lisa🙏🏻 You are so fervent today. Only 3 minutes in & I am going to make time to sit down & take notes because right now, I am remembering how at age 5 my brother broke his leg when he got stuck trying to squeeze through a picket fence in the neighbor's back yard. I was 7 1/2. I ran to get help. It was scary. My mother told everyone that it was my fault. She started making me responsible for people & situations outside myself early on. So grateful to be on this deep healing journey. So grateful to you & our community for being a part of that journey💕
Your not alone with past experiences. Keep looking ahead for better times. Dont ever say this....I remeber that one time when.....make every weekend a special time
Ex did this to my daughter. Now she's doing it to me! She treats me like I am her child. Her dad acts like she's his wife. She tells me to show him respect,??? Her dad is starting up again. Told her I was driving erratically, walked like I was angry (even imitated it to her) and said something he didn't hear, but it might have been such and such (just made something up!) And she calls and chews me out.!!!! He abused my children but no one seems to understand I do not want anything to do with him.
Every word of this is literally so true! This narcissist who manipulated me was even admitting he liked things just because I liked them! I don't need that, I need respect and authenticity in a person!
“Healthy relationships are explainable... they just make sense!”
Preach!!... I was forever having to get clever to sugarcoat our relationship story. Apparently I’m a good storyteller because I never lied and no one had a clue how toxic our relationship was and is. Everything you say makes everything I’ve been through with him, make sense. Thank you! 🙏🏻
One little lie when you first get to know them is a bigger picture of themselves than ppl realize... Then little clues that ppl usually ignore start telling a bigger story...
you sound unmarried
Suzanne
Could nt have said it better.👍
Yes!!! This is so true! They start off lying and manipulating.
@@u235u235u235you sound uneducated and opinionated.
@@chrissemenko628 ?
100 % truth - the phishing narcissist in the love bombing phase -
The love bombing it self is allready a abuse.
You are correct 🎯
Have you ever felt suffocated when in that phase?
Yeah the love bomb stage is so confusing because you think there’s no way your partner could be such an A hole if they are loving me like this ! It’s like a game a mean older sibling would play on a younger family member. Like smacking the younger one in the head. And making them cr y. Then comforting the younger one afterwards. Then when the younger one calms down SMACK there it goes again ! We at to call that part of the stage the SUCKER stage in order to help us not want to be one again ! Yeah it’s not our fault for being born with a loving heart. I hope you find someone who appreciates you !
“My people will perish for lack of knowledge “ Hosea 4:6
Very grateful for your channel Lisa! Thank you & May God bless you and yours always.
Xoxoxo
Everything is absolutely truth about narcissist. They are emotional damage to people who value honesty and pure conscience and specially for kids, they are hazardous and for our sanity... 🤔🤔🤔🤔🏡🇬🇧
You need to be skillful and masterful. Empower yourself by learning how to deal with these control freaks.
You are genuine in being a positive person for all those too who don't have the strength right now to carry out their plans yet.
And they hate when you know, when you see through and you are strong. What is more difficult to deal with is the flying monkeys.
I can’t explain how grateful I am for this TH-cam channel and your videos!! You saved me!! I feel like my whole life and perspective has changed after watching your videos. So much makes sense now. Throughout this entire video my mind kept getting blown because you were describing my narcissistic sister to the tea! I feel so alone because no one understands what I’m going through or what it’s like dealing with a narcissist unless they’ve been in a deep relationship with one themselves.
Holy Hell You just rang the Bell , insidiously trained and/or conditioned to Not Question "Them" ! Why would we possibly have wanted and put up with them and these behaviors ; but for my own ignorance-(lack of information). Every single other lie that You just spelled out fits to a " T " . Your Work and Help are greatly appreciated !
I am now paying the price for my years of denial. Ahhh, she'll change this time. Now, 10yrs later my 7yr old twin girls are also paying for my biggest mistake. That is what hurts the most.
Totally agree
This is so touching. I am asking myself every day if this is where im going to. Thank you so much for sharing.
There was a guy I was with for over 2 years, he asked me how I was maybe 5 times throughout our whole relationship, it shocked me and weirded me out every time because most of the time he couldn't care less.
Interesting that Lisa brings up a narcissist not caring about someone getting cancer. One of my narcissists told me that there was a woman he had dated once who was diagnosed with cancer, and that because she had cancer she wouldn't be a good candidate for having kids so he stopped talking to her even though she kept trying to reach him. He said he didn't want her to be led on, and that it was 'very difficult for him' to talk to her. I wish I had walked out on him then and there. I would have saved myself so much time and energy. They act like they're so tough but they are enormous babies and cowards.
Jesus Christ!!!!!😦😦😦 This describes my toxic parents to a tee!! I'm so glad I went no contact. Thank you, Lisa, for posting this video. It helps me deal with the guilt of no contact this holiday season.
Lisa, My husband is a classic narcissist, but plays very caring and sympathetic to waiters and waitresses and loves to help others that he knows or knows him. He is very careful , skillful and plotting on how to keep his outside appearance as pristine, caring, loving because it fools others and allows him to gain attention and admiration for himself. He is a real people pleaser, fake of course because he is the devil at home when crossed. Totally plays everything to his wants. Completely not empathetic. Jeckyl and Hyde. He is very covert.
They do a lot of impression management.
I had a Jeckal and Hyde Covert malignant narc "mother". She was a control freak and cost me property losses and she repeatedly violated my boundaries.
Everything you let us know about narcissist behavior is absolutely TRUE. Lisa, I want to thank you for opening not only opening my ears and eyes, also my mind. My, now, ex boyfriend did everything to me. I have literally left him (again) and this is the last. He constantly accused me of cheating on him if I didn't feel like having sex, or if I simply had a feeling or God forbid, an opinion. Gaslighting, constant verbal abuse, accusations.... I could go on and on.
Ladies, and gentlemen.. listen to her. She is absolutely ON POINT.
sorry about this!
My narc husband acted like he was a runner (I’m an avid runner). He hasn’t run a step since we first met. He also acted like he was eager to travel (I want to see the whole world), but he only leaves the house to go to work. He spends all his free time in front of his computer.
I bet he is in front of his computer! He is most likely on dating apps looking for other narcissistic supply.
On porn sites, perhaps?
@@doniasenzalbatross3126 most likely porn sites and dating sites. The dating sites because he’s looking for new narcissistic supply.
Computer? Wow
Is he social media cheating or in porn !!!????
@@utubeelvi No, he writes software and sells it on Apple. He’s even got a Wikipedia page, he’s such a geek. His office door is always open, and his screens are huge. I can literally walk in there at any time, and he’s deep into some software crap (or hospital work, since he’s also a doctor at a hispital).His screens are pretty much visible as soon as you enter his office. I wish he were enough of a go-getter to find someone else.
Word salad every single time when it came to addressing my concerns or her moving the goalposts. She hits every mark!
“They remember your worst moments, but they don’t remember their own.” This made me choke! 😆It’s tragic and so true.
He made me put up profiles for him on online dating apps. I don't know how I stayed so long. I believe I stayed because I had a little hope for him, I loved his kids, and it was my townhouse, I would have ruined my credit if I just left. But I told him to leave and it took him several months to leave. I changed the locks after he left,eventually I had to move but he found out my new address. That was scary, I don't know how he found it. Stay in prayer, live your life and heal, never go back
Never go Back, it Only gets WORSE.
They are out to destroy you.
Thanks!
Thank you for your kindness and generosity
Hi Lisa. Thank you for all the time you give, educating and being an integral part in exposing the hidden plauge of Covert
Thank you Lisa! They are good at covert smear campaign and when you figure it out it's too late no one will even listen to me!
One thing I am very grateful for through this experience with a narcissist is the immense growth in my mind body and soul . I now know who I really am have established boundaries and gaining my power back 😊
Lisa I have experienced this with my sister, girlfriends and boyfriends. I have a degree in psychology and psychiatric rehab. And its be a minute since I had to really thing about the behaviors and criteria. I just want to thank you for your work. I have over the years cut people off because of how they made me feel and all of them are narcissistic along with other diagnoses. Thank you for the refreshers. Keep up the good work of informing use to recognize the behaviors .
I'm the mom of a daughter married to a covert narcissist.
It's worse than people know.
I have been put through the ringer.
I did figure it out several years ago.
I didn't recognize it.
Now my mental and physical health has plummeted .
I'm treating as the child.
It's so bad.
Your really pretty and very knowledgeable about narcissistic people, thank you for making us aware and not thinking we are crazy!
I’m not saying this to be mellow-dramatic ... I think this video just saved my life, and my future relationships 🙏♥️💎
Could you make a video about How to be in a healthy relationship after all that ?...
Please...👍🎯🤔
Yes ,Please
Yup thats entirely in order
We sooo need some of that
When you are ready the right one will appear
It begins with your addressing your relationship with You 💝💝💝
My second husband, never went anywhere with me. People were even unsure that I was even married. My friends were not worthy of his company. All of a sudden he wanted to go to an event with me. While we were there he told them several things he thought would embarrass me. It did not work of course because my friends knew who I was.
Being there with Him was your own Betrayal 😢
This is crazy accurate for me! Especially "blame game" - today I got hurt by an insensitive comment he made, walked away in tears. I came back to the room he was in, he smiles at me really huge, I guess I didn't smile back, he says "OH! I forgot, you're pissed off at me" and walked around slamming doors, cabinets, etc. As usual, my feelings have truly inconvenienced him! Thank God I found you! It's helping me keep my mind together.
@@oscarwilliamson1264 thank you!😊
I’m dealing with the same. But she’s a covert narcissist and has the wool pulled over everyone’s eyes. Been with her 5 years and I just got the dots connected 3 days ago… I simply exposed this to her and she’s been gone 2 days now so thank God for that!
@@greenlawnservicesllc7453 damn, that escalated quickly!😥 I am sure it's for the best she left, and sadly, you see how correct you were in the fact no discussion was had, no (even fake) attempts towards change! I sort of admire all of this, you ripped that bandaid right off! I have picked at the same scab FAR too long! There's always a reason for me to stay, to deal with it, but I see that is 100% on ME now! I exposed him during a heated fight, said he wasn't even original, he is TEXTBOOK narcissistic 101, so when the dust settled & ANY conversation comes up he doesn't like he will be like "well, I'm an evil narcissist, REMEMBER?!?!" WHO CAN FORGET?😳🤣 it's his go-to for being a schmuck.
I know it hurts now, but for what it's worth, I'm super proud of you & know your life is going to change in GREAT ways!✌♥️
@@debbiedebster5806 thanks for the kind encouraging words. For what they are worth to me, is priceless. I admire people who take time to encourage others so for what that’s worth, you should be commended.. I still feel sorry for her thinking that maybe she’s not a covert or doesn’t know she’s one and a so doesn’t know she’s covertly doing it.. idk but what I do know is your message is spot on the money and a breath of fresh air. However, your situation sounds tuff at home and I’m sorry to hear it.. I hope it gets better for you Debbie Debster.
This video is excellent. Lisa, this is changing the world!!! Thank you so much for this!!🎉🌹🌹🌹🌹
Lisa, you are tapped in. Your wisdom is so insightful and it keeps evolving. I feel like the sharing of our continually evolving insights is like a mega transformation process a lot of us are going through, together 💕☮️🌈 It’s so liberating
100%
Absolutely the truth.Thank you for validating me Lisa.
Lisa Ramona ~saving lives. I have a sibling-like this, and through Lisa, I now understand why my siblings don't want to hear anything about narcissism, they see themselves in the material. Gaslighting to no end, complete manipulation, and one day the righteous spirit made her say she feels like a loser and that everyone is better than her. She went on and on about how badly she sees herself.
We thank God for great coaches, as yourself and others, who are educating us In these things and helping us to be better aware and informed of these individuals, and there behaviors, and how to recognize them and then how to react and respond , 😊.👍👍💯.
A narcissistic “friend” will happily take your help and ideas then reject you when you ask for help whilst preaching to you that people should give in order to receive.
Yes. After reinventing the wheel for you to use for 'free' on his own paved with B.S. one way street.
Spot on 💯🎯🤦🏼♀️
Sounds like my wife’s worst moments. But she is the most amazing woman and in sickness and health, I am all in. Coming up on 16 years and every day I love her more and more! We all have our downfalls. Going head to head with a narcissist is futile. I don’t believe this means narcissist are somehow bad. On the contrary! The more I learn about my queen, the more I am grateful for this unmovable wall. Using the correct approach this fault can be a great asset. From my experience dealing with my wife, using patience, consistency, showering her daily with actions of love like hugs and kisses, her previous manipulation tactics become the greatest stroke to ego. The “love bombs” you talk about, thats the special sauce! While I do not share her flaws, I have my own in different ways. I just think labeling someone a narcissist and calling it bad, seems a lot like narcissism. Man, lot of hating and labeling in this video. If there are so many narcissist out there, doesn’t that raise the question maybe there are good reasons? That said, I enjoyed your video because it is important to understand when you’re being attacked and not let that cut you down inside. Nobody should ever feel less than, that’s a lie.
I have done a lot of care and care related work through my life and charity work. He said he’d never done anything for anyone or given anything to charity.
My narcissistic husband said because I told him to go find someone better after he said he can find someone better than me . He tried to date someone at his job afterwards. That was the excuse he gave me. And the girl he tried to date felt something was wrong with him because he was coming to her apartment unannounced early before work and she would act like she wasn’t home
My gOD GooDness Goddess women
THAnk you .
I dealt with a woman like that.
Remember.. you’ll never make ‘ sense ‘ out of nonsense 🙏🏻
And so it is. Amen 🙏🏻🤍
And remember you can never argue with a fool. You can't win except by walking away. They are their own worst enemy. The truth always prevails.
so I've been married 31 yrs and the last 10-12 I've been focusing more on being whole hearted and righting wrongs I've made with my sons.....being codependent with unaware narc husband...the statements you make are like "wow" "that is what I came up with in "educating myself"...your views are spot on with mine... like unaccountability, low empathy, a strange "toxic loyalty to his narc family members", no childhood memories, "you said" arguementive statements, avoidant, reactive, gas lighting,
Much admiration 💕
I wish I would’ve seen your videos 7 months ago when I had my first relationship with a narcissist. Thank you 🙏🏽
Me too!
Even if I had seen these videos before the discard…. I would have denied that she had these traits. She became a different person in the flip of a switch, one day just stopped talking to me and treats me like I am her arch enemy. Holding my daughter against me and basically took everything we worked so hard to achieve. And so much more…just 🤦♂️
Same
When you are nice to and comply with them they are mean to you. When your mean to them they are nice to try to bring you back for more abuse. It's a twisted relationship .
The description of their pattern is so spot on. Thank you for making it so clear!