Peterson/Greene: Why You Better NOT Avoid Conflict
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 มี.ค. 2022
- Robert Greene is the author of NY Times bestsellers, such as The 48 Laws of Power and Mastery, & The Laws of Human Nature. Robert has had over 80 different jobs and is considered an international expert on power strategies. On top of a strong following in the business world and Washington DC, Greene’s books are hailed by everyone from war historians to musicians like Jay-Z, Drake, and 50 Cent.
Jordan Peterson is professor of psychology at the university of toronto.
#Peterson #Greene #conflict
Check out the full interview here: • Your Dark Side and Con...
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The moment I stopped backing out of conflicts and started standing my ground, my own life experience turned way better.
mine didnt
What happened?
Mine did ; as a leader you cannot tolerate certain things as bad things tend to grow and in certain fields they can be deadly; I am a man of worth and I deserve to be treated with respect and the people around me the same. The people I lead deserve a safe environment so my personal space extends to them - I protect them by not tolerating boundaries being crossed
Conflict avoidance has caused most of my biggest issues as an adult
Well done and thank you
Likewise..
Same.
Seriously my problem was OK I’m a nice guy I should get the same in return just out of respect literally never works out that way
@@Bookersbones you have to stand up for yourself… nobody else will do it for you and if they do, it may be appreciated but if you can’t do it yourself they’re not really helping in the long run
I live in the hood big part of my conflict avoidance and my childhood between 3-6 was weird af.
If Jordan Peterson choose not to confront Bill C-16, we may never have discovered his lectures. Meaning that millions of people who were helped by the lectures wouldn’t have found motivation to reorganize their lives
Amen 🙏
Great example.
@@Erik_Dalton Jordan Rat Peterson: "My message to the Hungarians. Do not rebel against your dear prime minister! What your leader is trying to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian culture"
Another well payed guest of Fűrer Orban in the Nazi eagle nest, the Fűrer-Castle of Buda, Father Jim Blount from the USA: "I would like to tell you a secret about Jesus and a secret about your prime minister. Another name for Jesus is Viktor."
Not having an appetite for conflict is OK, Not standing your ground IS NOT OK, I have found that taking on a Good Fight is generally a worthy thing. 1 of the most powerful things is a person that is humble,kind and UNDER no circumstance will walk away from a Just Fight!
It's like you're saying being weak is okay because that's what not having an appetite for conflict means
@@anuj_bhandare
@@anuj_bhandare No thats not what im saying, Im saying not having an appetite for conflict is saying I rather not go there, A humble warrior is a dangerous foe, believe me, once you have reached the rubicon its all bets are off, Once conflict happens I dont fight fair,i fight to win, winning is not the objective, preserving right vs wrong is the objective! consequently that means winning! God will look favorably to the Humble but Willing!
@@jimblevins4085 Exactly, if winning is not the objective and preserving and pursuing the sense of right or wrong is, we should aim to correct or be corrected, hence face the conflict rather than avoid one.
I credit The 33 Strategies Of War with helping me deal with 'bullies' in my own life. I learned how to use language in the third person but also to use language suitable for a 'non-alpha' towards another 'non alpha' or even an 'omega male' in potential conflict. A 'non-alpha' coworker was chastising me once in front of others for not 'asserting' myself in a physical work activity. Usually the 'bullies' and the timid ones often end up swirling around together at the 'bottom' of the hierarchy. I was the 'timid' one. And the 'bully' has to show the others that he's not the 'last in line.' In this situation I basically made sure I was out of view of physical retaliation (especially non-eye contact) and I shouted to him in a monotone, almost submissive manner, 'you give me orders and I'll do what you tell me to do!' Because he knew instinctively he was 'low' on the work totem pole hierarchy, he immediately felt 'shame' in front of the others and kind of dwindled away, swearing to himself. And because my comments were purely 'tribal' in verbiage, there was a lot less fear of retaliation.
Can both of them write a book together 😔
Jordan Peterson and Robert Greene's book would be a classic!
I grew up being told that teasing was unkind. Later in life I learned that I can tease back, nothing feels like hurty words, and I can make people laugh which is the best part. Getting into an awkward situation and making light of it with a mild joke eases the tension and often I make a good friend with the person I’m having a difficult conversation with.
Jordan Rat Peterson: "My message to the Hungarians. Do not rebel against your dear prime minister! What your leader is trying to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian culture"
Another well payed guest of Fűrer Orban in the Nazi eagle nest, the Fűrer-Castle of Buda, Father Jim Blount from the USA: "I would like to tell you a secret about Jesus and a secret about your prime minister. Another name for Jesus is Viktor."
@@GardaOrban Take your medications
Embracing conflict helps build your endurance for what you may have to endure in this lifetime. Simply embrace it. My life changed after I stopped running from conflict.
What did you do once you stopped running?
Great clip. Love the point about conflict not being fun or enjoyable, but that you have to stand up for yourself and not be run over by mini tyrant in your significant other. I saw this happen alot with my parents and saw the importance of the good that happened because of opposing forces both got to see the good and the evil didn't win. I'm fighting with addiction and being in treatment with people that are total opposites and mentalities that would never be able to live next to the other, and yet we are all growing and finding good in our own individual lives. This life is short and painful, finding peace and being a light in the world. Trying to better everyday
I like the concept of ratios and proportions. It sounds like authentic communication,boundaries & needs being test and met. The problem of conflict avoidance stems from childhood. We saw in our brains our primary caregivers being abused or abusive and we were hardwired to not want to repeat that. Shadow work is basically trauma processing work. You dont just suddenly decide to be assertive you become that person through transformation whether small or big.
Jordan Rat Peterson: "My message to the Hungarians. Do not rebel against your dear prime minister! What your leader is trying to restore the metaphysical foundation of the Hungarian culture"
Another well payed guest of Fűrer Orban in the Nazi eagle nest, the Fűrer-Castle of Buda, Father Jim Blount from the USA: "I would like to tell you a secret about Jesus and a secret about your prime minister. Another name for Jesus is Viktor."
Wow 😃 glad I stumbled across this.
Great conversation! Thanks for posting :)
i've listened the audiobook of 50th law and it is a true gem. and the real power standing for yourself first. then everything comes along with it. thank you for sharing this
Yeeeess!!!! Been learning to fix this lately and it's amazing!
Greatest duo
Two of my favorites
I would say dont avoid *all* conflict. Pick your battles and be tactful. This is harder said then done.
I'm not saying to throw assertiveness out the window when you're being bullied, but use discernment; especially when dealing with your spouse. The problem with conflict is when you enter into it, you are fighting to be right instead of being open to the fact that you may be in the wrong. When two people are preoccupied with their need to be right, the only thing that results is a war of attrition with words as ammunition. You're verbally recreating the western front, which is a good way to destroy a marriage or other intimate relationship. Reserve conflict to keep you from being walked over, but think in terms of using negotiation as the first resort.
What do u do when hey just wanna be right?
@@moonknight4053 If they're determined to be right and refuse to listen to anything that proves they're wrong, there's not much you can really do. You can present all the logical reasoning you want and they just won't have any of it, because they're so convinced they're in the right and have done nothing wrong. Eventually it just devolves into a shouting match with you wanting to rip their head off because you're so f**king frustrated with them and their stubborn, narcissistic ego.
I encountered that situation many times in my last marriage and with my mum when I try pointing out when I'm being disrespected. I've discovered there are just some battles you can't win. If you're serious about finding answers, I'm sure a licensed psychologist could tell you how to deal with it better than I could.
@@angelus_solus Yeah sounds about right, it’s tough too because as an individual it’s very hard to not want to rip there head off. That’s true narcissism and ignorance, insensitivity, etc. Lol I wouldn’t go to a psychologist or therapist as they cost more then 100 dollars which is a rip off.
I’m sure there’s an answer somewhere in the form of a person or a video in utube. Don’t know how ppl like that exist, I’ve had moments like that, but 90% of the time I’m aware enough
@@moonknight4053 I have to admit, psychologists do love fleecing the public. I guess it's to pay back all those hundreds of thousands in student loans. I honestly hope you find the answer you're looking for.
Pretty much like diplomacy
both GOATs 🐐
Two geniuses
Robert Greene is very underrated
Big respect for 50 cent
Find it funny how compose Greene stays in all his interviews, he always waits to speak rather shoving facts down your throat like every other interview or conversation there is
Avoiding conflict’s even if momentarily or particular… Is similar to our work ethic- if you avoid one small responsibility, it can turn into a snowball effect. Meaning that handling your conflict Is Not “just like riding a bicycle.” As it does turn out (:
I have this problem bevause I hate confrontation and people tell me I can’t handle conversations I only can’t handle it because the person that I’m talking to either talks over me constantly back n forth and that’s what gets me upset idk yelling cursing 🤬 like being called very hurtful names I just would rather be alone than deal with a confrontation
You are a stonewaller, it sounds .
Same
I like how Jordan Peterson references 50 cent and rappers
Yes that last couple minutes of the talk for young women going out in the world if they could just hear that and be wise about the distinction
i actually counted positive and negative interations with my ex. it was something like 2 positive to 1 negative. we actually made it more 3 y after that but it was misery
He’s referencing Gottman’s work! It’s good stuff. I didn’t hear the 11 to 1 ratio however.
he actually mentioned it at 1:35 lol
@@yungbawbag1986 sorry i wasn’t clearer. I was talking about Gottman. I didn’t know that if you have too many good interactions - ie over 11 to 1 - you’d be increasingly worse off. Gottman alludes to negative bias, the positive bias I’m not as familiar with.
All depends on what type of conflict,the degree of it.
Lol, its like seeing two complex systems exchanging feedback and recalculating models
Personally I love conflicts it channels my aggressivity
“Out comes you’re inner tyrant”
Thats actually a great description of what people colloquially call “karens” it’s not that the person is bad, but theyre so used to agreeableness that when someone does push back, no matter how justified they are and how minor the pushback, the “Karen” displays their inner tyrant. Retaliating with disproportionate aggression, as tyrants do.
We can all have the inner tyrant I guese
Mine is called putin paul
I've always told my wife that I admired her spark. I would not want to be married to a woman that didn't have some real fire in her. We will not willingly part until death.
Took Jordons advice and have integrated the jungian shadow, became a bit of a monster and feel Like there is a weight lifted.
💎🧡💎
There is just some hard headed people out there.
And the hard headed never learn.
I love this particular conversation, in its entirety, due to the simple fact that it contains two phenomenally experiential perspectives, that contain a vast deliberate scientific intellectual value and discourse; it's simply mind provoking and thought inspiring on an empirical level... as a result, I'm now waiting for some Nietzsche to arrive, hoping for more empirical depth... thank you for the inspiration... not trying to drive flattery, what difference does it make, it's all relative perspective either way, as I perceive it anyways, just an honest appreciative reciprocity...🙃😏🤔
Very well put!
@@aibekkabyken9877 thank you...🙃
Nice vocabulary buddy 😂
@@nickeames2133 vocabulary only grows through study along with utilization... practical application can only get better through experience...
Saying that I know 20% of a dictionary within a single language, would probably be a proclivic estimate of my personal vocabulary, though perception is seemingly always objectively relative... thank you...😁🤔
@@keevinrassi7010 do you talk this way in real life? You must be some kind of genius bro
I don't disagree, but it has to be discerning, reasonable, and valuable.
I think you're right but this should work for any relationship in life should be like that
I glad I don't have a relationship but you got to. Oh merrorys I had from a relationship I had you should have seen his face then he asked me for a friut. I said I bought that banana for me. He was not pleased with me. He was so damaged you didn't understand.
This🎆🎆 man has done more to change people's lives than almost anyone else in the last decade. What do you think? 🎇🎇.............
Andrew Tate? He has more influence which means he changed more men than anyone
I welcome conflict but growing up people told me its wrong 🙄
Hello handsome man!!!💖😍💖
So do you!🙌🔥
so a war from time to time is just what humanity needs.. following that logic..
War is what happens if you resist Aggression.
Surrender is subjugation to an Aggressor
@@hildegardvonbingen9092 for what I see, war happens, then you can either resist or not.
that is, war happens when someone starts shooting, and someone can start shooting back, but war has already started.
No, war is probably the result of avoiding conflict inertia while more problems accumulate
@@hadriusreznor3247 I am sure if you don't avoid conflict, war happens, and I would think even more often
@@canemcave do the experiment on yourself, avoid conflict on every social situation, see where that would take you, whereas if you resolve each problem as it presents to yourself the result would be more desirable
The Gottman Book. Every couple needs it. GET IT. READ IT. game changer.
4:45 Asking Jordan "were you going to say something?". How rhetorical can a question get? 😆
Really if you don't love them,avoid...to piggyback.
Murray only 43. Hasn’t been fighting thst long.
When hit 53 it will be different.
There are a LOT of confrontational men who relish lashing out at Women!! I'd love to read thoughts on that. For ex: a woman accidentally cuts off a drop off line at a school. A man proceeded to yell at her. She apologized profusely, the more she apologized the louder he got. Until she finally said Enough. I see those situations all the time!!!
That does not happen often. If you see it often, move to a better neighborhood.
No there isnt😂 she probably f’s up all the time and the dude got fed up with it.
It’s not a common thing at all
I live for it ...what is life without..it's just the woke democrats will eventually have a law that jails people who are offended or hurt ..so remember today being offended is a choice
All technically true but if it comes to blows you had better like prison because in America you can get two years just for pushing someone away...its called aggravated battery.
I wonder if Will Smith watched this 🤔
Yeah man he rellay did
Only interesting because a lot of their demographics seems to believe in negging women as a point to start a relationship. I can categorically say if you are doing this and none of your dating experience is working out this is why.
Treat people with respect. What they’re saying is regarding once you’re in a relationship. I’ve never known any woman (or man) tend to keep up dating someone whom they don’t know well because they’re being ‘teasing’ ‘testing’ or ultimately undermining them.
Despite what a lot of their demographic believes, people do have healthy disagreements every day. But not a single person wants to build a relationship on someone who is just seeking to override and undermine their partner.
I think books like the Game started this ideology but sadly I’ve seen a lot of it perpetuated by some warped perceptions men can have to whatever Peterson says.
Guy who I believe is divorced , had recently received treatment for substance use disorder , is talking like he is an Oracle
Oh 💩 25-1 I’m living the cowards dream
The U.K. has huge cultural issues because it does not confront clear and present danger. A very bad approach.
it's the stiff upper lip and bottling up your emotions lol that's the english way
Wouldn't expect someone who hasn't been abused or slammed on their head or have someone legit try to kill them to understand why I'd wanna avoid conflict
Fight back😂, or get away. So many options ur just a little bish