How to Soothe Yourself during Hard Times! | Important Mental Health Skill!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ย. 2024
- #mentalhealth #stephanielyncoaching #narcissisticabuse #emotionalabuse #selflove
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1-put your Hand on your heart
2- hug something like pillow
3- repeat a mantra or affirmation . stay present, connect to your logical self and remind yourself that you are ok.
4- stay calm
5-choose healthy food
6- ask yourself in the morning, what do i need to do to be the healthiest i can be
Thank you for doing that!
Thank you! This was very kind and helpful of you.
and try magnesium
Thank you, this was really helpful! 💛
I've recently had a break-up and I cry often as I get triggered quite easily these days.. Things that I do to soothe myself:
1. Cry - I tell myself in my mind repeatedly over and over again- "it's okay to cry", "let it all out", "I value you" "you are beautiful" "I love you" "I'm there for you always, no matter what" "you'll never be alone" "I'm always with you wherever you go" "you'll be okay"
2. While I'm crying and repeating the affirmations above, I rub my hands on my thighs vigorously with some pressure. I find it's very calming.
3. The bad feeling normally subsides in a few minutes..3-4 minutes of me doing this
4. In my mind I'm also imagining someone close to me - my mom, or even myself, my future husband to be comforting me like this.
5. While I'm doing all this, I constantly also remind myself who else loves me in the world - my mom, my dad, my cousins, my friends, my pets etc. This makes me believe that I'm lovable and calms me ddown.
6. As I'm repeating the above affirmations I imagine someone is taking to me, and I shake my head in agreement that yes, I am lovable and so many other people love me.
6. Once the tears stop flowing and I've calmed down relatively, I lay down on my bed and hug my pillow. Put on some calming music.
7. In a few moments, I feel a whole lot better and I feel closer to myself. A renewed sense of self. Those self soothing moments are really intense and I feel as if I've fostered a deeper connection with myself.. It feels really beautiful and good.
I've recently learned to self soothe this way.. I have an anxious attachment style..and I'm learning to be closer to myself to lessen my dependency on others to calm me down. Some good ideas are : get a jacket that makes you feel cosy and put that on when you feel low, identify songs/prayers that really calm you down and play those, journal, read a book.
Good luck ❤️
Thank you for ideas!
❤️❤️
@@hurtsoul7398 I recommend setting boundaries with him and tell him you don’t want contact, then block him. When you cut him out of your life, you’ll then be able to focus on yourself. I’m 8 months post breakup and I finally did this and I am telling you it helps. My ex would randomly reach out to me too for stupid stuff and I would barely say anything back, but each time he’d contact me, it was like digging into the wound.
Don’t compare yourself to his wife. You are strong, you are beautiful, and you deserve a guy who doesn’t walk away from you. Focus on yourself right now and finding your self-confidence back. Do things YOU find fun. Spend time with your friends and family and go out of your comfort zone sometimes. You might find a hobby that you end up loving that you wouldn’t have tried otherwise.
Thank you 🙏💓😊
Learn what do you need to nurture yourself. What is soothing to yourself?
1.) Put one or two hand on your heart or your belly, rub your belly. Physical touch soothes.
2.) Have a small pillow to cuddle and hugg like you used to with a stuffed animal as a child.
3.) Create a sort of Mantra or Affirmation. Say something over and over again until you feel what you are saying. Like: "You are Safe. You can do this. You will be Allright Sweatheart". Break the cycle of anxious thoughts. Which phrase would calm you down?
4.) (for empath or highly sensitive people) Do the noise around you calm you or make you more nervous? Do you need more noise (like classical music) or more calmness?
5.) Food with a lot of Magnesium. Or use Magnesium Pills. Be mindfully of the food that you consume. Dit you drank enough water?
= Knowing what it is that you need every single day? Be intune with yourself in that way.
Why do all her videos hit directly what I need at the right time?! 💗
Divine timing
It’s as if YT can read our minds??
@@lisasimeone2620 or searches for sure . 🙂
The best thing about you is that I get the feeling that you actually care about us listening.. That energy in your voice is the best. Thx!
What do you need in that moment?
- journalling my small wins & gratitude helps a lot
- drinking herbal tea
- distracting myself by cleaning & listening to music
- listening to guided meditation whilst laying in bed & being wrapped in a blanket
The distractions of the day eventually go away and you’re left with stress worries of the day or maybe something else. This is so true. You can’t stay busy and shut it out.
I naturally find myself putting my hand on my heart when I’m overwhelmed with emotion and I never understood why until now. This video is helping me in so many ways. Thank you.
It helps me a lot to hug myself and to slowly breathe for 20 breaths, or do alternate nostril breathing (a yogic type of breathing)....it also helps to get into yogic child's pose and take 20 deep, slow breaths. While I do these things, I often tell myself "I am safe" and "this is scary, not dangerous".
Please start having online classes. So many women need your advice. I know 8 who would sign up. ❤️
I actually still have my baby blanket. I'm 27 and I've slept with it almost every night of my life. I rub the fabric together and it's just comforting, I don't care if its weird..its the only thing that's ever been consistent in my life.
I still have mine too.
My grandmother who is in heaven made my baby blanket, I’m 34 and sleep with it every night 💜
This is really sweet, I don't think weird at all x
That’s not weird
Stephanie this was so calming for me.❤️ Reminding me that I can comfort myself and take care of my needs.Thank you 💕
I am going through a tough time ALONE. Everyone with a minor worry has someone on their side to support them.
Wow! Slow breathing with my hand on my heart totally changed how I was feeling
Definitely needed this, especially this month
Just found your channel, thank the Lord. Lol 🙏😭🙏 I just combined two of the things you mentioned - I found a soothing mantra for myself, and whispered it to myself with my hands over my heart. Whoa that feels so good. I’m no stranger to inner work, but I don’t think I’ve ever truly reached myself at this level until recently in my life. I suspect there’s something very important for me in healing my codependency, abandonment, inner child stuff specifically... Yes. Thank you so much!!! 💜
So many great nuggets as always. “What do I need today/right now”? A personalized mantra for those needs, magnesium supplement, or magnesium in a cup of tea…
Some of the best content around, I’m forever grateful for her videos. Stephanie is changing the world one video at a time.
I truly enjoyed this episode! I rate it a 10 out of 10! Thank you for all your videos 🤗, they are truly helping me heal a lot of wounds I didn’t know I had.
Just by watching your videos every day and no matter what the subject, I automatically enter a state of calm😊☑️
Thank you for sharing these simple tools of self soothing. I did not realize I was doing that when I hug/lay on my pillow🥰
I love all your content! 100%! BUT!!! We DEFINITELY NEED TO SEE YOU!
Thank you! I can't begin to tell you how valuable your content has been. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
Stephanie, very valuable information especially now in this time of uncertainty and anxiety. Thanks for your continued help. May you and yours be safe and well.
Thanks Stephanie. Practical advice during tough times! Very much appreciated!
Good topic Stephanie Lyn, thank you for being there for so many!!
Thank you, this is so vital, and I forget this so fast, I had a therapist type online coach start blaming me for my problems and told me that “obviously I’m not ready to change”, (when I wasn’t ready to commit to her course- that she wouldn’t tell me the cost of)- weird - but it caused me SO much more self doubt and shame- this video about self soothing has calmed me down so much- I’m so glad to hear this from you!
This was very helpful. I just realized I’m already soothing myself I different ways. I also take magnesium to help calm me. I think magnesium is important. The “calm” powder supplement is also really good. Thanks again for the video
Self Parenting/Soothing:
Hand on heart is something good for being discreet in public. Be careful though, people may think you're having a heart attack! Hugging pillow works well in private. But also, WHAT I DO IS HUG MYSELF! Self love. It really helps me a lot.
Magnesium also stops growing pains and muscle cramps, BTW. How I wish my parents had known that!
Thanks for all the great videos and great advice. Best wishes.
Stephanie you are just amazing. I love all your videos and most of your tipics speak exactly about what I need. I'm so grateful for your great work, you really helped me a lot in going through rough times in my life and really seeing the good ahead and not just being scared.
Sending you lots of love and blessings!
Thank you so much! These tips are realistic, practical, and helpful.❤
Great listen! Magnesium lotion worked/works wonders for me. Topical actually absorbs the best, apparently, plus no risk of an upset stomach lol.
Thank you so much!
This is exactly what I needed to hear, a clear explanation on the steps to take and why they help. Each of them are doable for me, I just need to put them into practice. 💛
Would just love a self-soothing meditation with your voice
I always needed a coach and meeting you online has been a boon since last few weeks. Thank you so much for helping others find themselves. ❤
This has been so helpful for me! I love your videos- the information is so useful and I can relate to so much of what you say. Thank you so much!
I slowly rubbed my chest and it actually made me really emotional and comforted.
I also much prefer seeing you rather than just hearing you but the info is still really good.
Thank you Ms. Stephanie, This video of yours, a True Treasure : )
Thank you so much my lovely
Stephanie
God bless you 🙏🌹
Thank you you are helping me deal with my emotional pain from my narssistic wife. Your suggestions help me alot.
Thank you quality content as always, your great Steph and a great inspiration to many many people 👍 bless you dear 🙏
Thank you for giving practical examples of self soothing.
Thank you Stephanie lyn ! I found this weeks episode very therapeutic 🙌👈👏🤙🙏I love 💕 your channel👊
Some really good tips to take care of yourself. Thank you x
thank you for your lovely advice dear, you are always full of great new topics! Sending love, happiness and peace to everyone! 🙏💠
How I sooth myself : I keep my hand on the chest and say this until I feel okay..
'In the infinity of life where I am, all is perfect, whole and complete.
I am divinely guided, protected and supported by the universe, it is absolutely safe for me to be myself in this world, I am safe.
All is well in my world.'
This affirmation is by Louse L Hay.
These reminders are lovely. Thank you Stephanie!
Very good. No person learned to self soothe. I don't think the parents knew this eather.
I was really skeptical about this at first but this was really helpful! I will try the self soothing techniques you've taught me & see if they work for me. Thank you!
Thank you Stephanie. I will try all these tips!
Very sound advice self soothing method 😍
Very helpful! Thank you for your post
Your channel is just amazing..so glad I found you..❤️❤️
Hi Stephanie😊 this. Podcast was so informative I had no idea that I could selfsooth like this just a few nights ago I started sleeping with my soft little zebra at night subconsciously I must have known what to do in practicing this technique. Because I’m an empath and highly sensitive living with a narcissist 10 years I sleep in the guest room where I can sleep meditate and spend time with my terrific coach miss Stephanie I’m praying that I can start the nine week course online very soon thankyou you are appreciated!,
Thank you SO much for this 🙏🏼 ❤️
Thank you for this Stephanie .🥰
Thank you so much for this!!!
Wow. The video was very helpful and need of the hour.
Very important skill ❤️🙏💪🏾
Always helpful. Thank u!
THANK YOU SO MUCH IT HELPS!!!
Hii, Thank you for sharing and this subject is very helpful during self-isolation :)
Loved this ! Especially in this time. Thank you!
Thanks I really appreciate this. I just started alternate fasting and need ways to self sooth other than eating
Thank you
Thanks Stephanie for the super useful tips 🙏💝
Very helpful video thank you 🙏
You are my savior
I defo need to self sooth! Thank u for this video🙂
Stephanie, can you talk about dealing with an “alpha male” and their toxic traits?
I feel so uncomfortable with the terms alpha when talking about human beings. I can say that from my experience, real “alpha” men are not toxic. Toxic men are people who have not healed their own trauma and very well may never heal it. Sure, bravado, harshness, “not caring” are seen by some as “strong” or “alpha”, but in reality those men probably have the deepest insecurities, shame and fear.
You should do a video How to be your own best friend with a lot of examples. Examples help so much
Great video!!!
Thank u sooooooo much ❤️
You are awesome
On a scale of 1-10, I rate this video 11. Thank you, and are you listening or maybe listening is the wrong word? : )
What brand of magnesium powder do you buy? Anyone have suggestions? Thanks!
This is difficult when times are really hard. Moving house rn with a bunch of drama. Seem to be self soothing with chocolate 😅
Thank you so much❤
🙌COACH CUTIE
Great video thank you very much
It's hard for me to stop worrying because in my anixety state is always fear. I'll try these steps not sure it will work for me again im always in the anixety state all the time.
Me too. You are not alone.
Feel the same way when I’m full of adrenaline it’s hard to even think straight and it happens within seconds but these things from Stephanie have helped me to some extent Thankyou Stephanie
Your mind is stuck in fight or flight response, the brain needs to be reprogrammed with pattern like Stephanie is saying..
I deal with the same issues of fear constantly...
How to reprogram your mind:
th-cam.com/video/0u5SU9iDzxg/w-d-xo.html
How to calm your nervous system and the 3 levels of stress response:
th-cam.com/video/tb6pxGK6mF8/w-d-xo.html
Thank you for this ❤️
Great insight 👍🏾 😘
As I'm curled in a ball with 2 blankets and 3 pillows
When I used to sleep next to the Narc he would always hug a pillow. It would make me feel lonely.
F hell, this is same for me. Thought he was one of a kind
So many good tools! I like how Stephanie explained things and her pace. Just a side note to contribute to gender balance and co-responsibility in parenting. Nurturing and parenting is often associated to mothers because many reasons (tendencies in personalities, stereotypes, etc.) but dads can also nurture and I think it’s good for our collective imagination to perceive them as that and using them in examples, so we try to avoid reinforcing stereotypes. This comment comes from a place of love and collective learning ✨ keep sharing such a good content
You are the best
wow. I have an unopened bottle of magnesium on my desk. Time to open it.
How to soothe yourself during hard times? Avoid the toxic person who causes the disruption!
Thanks so much for the videos Stephanie. I was completely clueless with what an empath was and now I have a better idea, the love was present but everything else I did incorrect, I hope its not too late. I love my empath to death and want her back in my life.
The Magnesium is good taking it at Night
I would like to know what advise you have for someone is an empath & noticed all the signs , but pushed it to the limit & ended up getting physically asssaulted... And I am still trying to deal w/ the fact that he legally got away with it.... Because of our ever so helpful law enforcement....
I do enjoy seeing you in the video, but I don't really watch the whole thing, so idk why lol. Awesome helpful episode though
1:59 our parents used to soothe us as a child…but as a adult we need to know how to soothe ourselves!
4:02 soothing yourself is calming yourself down
4:35 put hand on heart ❤️
12:15 putting hand on heart and repeating affirmations‼️
14:35 learn how to be the PARENT for yourself‼️
Good video
Video begins at 4:35
Wow I need this ... The things a person lime me n u could do if we worked together.. Thats alleay a given but play together ? Thats even involves doing leasure tasks such as activities together . WOE.You are my fan tactic music to my ears .. And love your pic. ...
Ice-cream and chocolate work well for me 😅. Joke aside thanks a lot for all these videos.
Since last October it seems like I've had a black cloud follow me, first my Mother died, a month later my cat had to be put down, I got really sick a month later, then trouble with the estate, which had me getting a lawyer to protect myself against my Covert Narcissist sister, then COVID hit, then I got laid off, and this week my favorite uncle (more like a big brother) was diagnosed with lung cancer and I am falling into depression, I am feeling overwhelmed and don't know how to deal with all of this, can you help?
I feel for you. I had a series of negative events that was really hard to deal with. During the COVID-19 lockdown, the gym was locked down and I didn't get the exercise I needed for my bad legs and they became very weak. Then my mother died by setting herself accidentally on fire. She lived in another province and I could only attend online plus I had to avoid my narcissistic sister. Then my brother-in-law died of stomach cancer. Then someone I dated a few years ago also died. Then I had two narc attacks. Plus other people were power hungry because of having more authority over COVID-19 rules. Now we have intolerable heat waves, the first killed 570 people. Now we're in another heat wave with smoke from wildfires so thick it seems like the fall. There's more but the list is getting too long.
I hope you are better now. ❤️
@@dawnemile4974 I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all of that Dawn, seems like life like to throw such hardships at times, it's overwhelming. I also have severe COPD and I know what you mean about the gym, mine closed down and since then my health has declined noticeably. I am slowly, but surely healing, but blow after blow sure had me wondering "what next?" and "can I keep going?". Day by day, little by little, things are better, and I hope they will for you as well.
1:09 life is hard‼️
12:15 putting hand on heart and repeating affirmations‼️