As soon as i accept the situation and acknowledge what has happened to me I can start healing myself. Also, I took my power back as soon as I am not waiting for his apology for hurting me instead I forgive myself . I am RESPONSIBLE for any good or bad feelings i am going thru in my life. Instead of feeling regrets of meeting him, I turn it to be my lessons so i can grow stronger . I am in process of getting to know my wounds since these caused of my triggers . Thank you Stephanie for the video you are awesome and very helpful.
Ya theres a silver lining were healing but in this all our old wounds pop up, it's like what the hell you happened years ago . .atleast we'll be able to heal it this time. .how long have you been dealing with this? I'm on 3.5 months
I love this comment because I am currently stuck feeling like I didn't deserve what he put me through and constantly wondering why he did what he did. It's good to see that you were able to switch your mindset and I hope to do the same
I needed this. Trauma is so evil. It rips apart your very essence and you find so much of your life is spent reliving, hurting, healing those broken parts of yourself. Especially when it happens over and over again. I woke up this morning so angry that there were so many parts of my life that were damaged. I’ve given up on the hope for peace because I have experienced tremendous disappointment, rejection, and abandonment. The most frustrating and sad part is doing all those things to myself. Stephanie, you’re right... owning my healing, emotions, and actions are critical. I’m trying to get there to getting control of my life.
I hope you find peace...I have been reliving my recent trauma over and over again for the past few weeks and can't seem to stop. I wake up every single morning feeling sad, angry, and defeated. I hope that I won't be in this state for much longer.
I feel stuck right now living with my parents. I hope to be out soon then, I can start to heal with all the trauma they caused me. I am not hopeless in that I cannot get out, I have done it before and know this time not to return. I am better off on my own with community support.
Your words as well as those of Stephanie's in this video are so spot on for me , I must pause the video and absorb her words. As a matter of fact. I stopped the video to reflect absorb and reset myself, I saw your words "I needed this",.....wow your words spoke to me and where I'm at. I have read it 4 times ..I will read it many more as i replay this video . I am typing this at the 11 minute mark. Owning my healing...that for me is right up there with "only I own me" lyrics from Adventure of a lifetime, by Coldplay. Inspiring words Karen O.
Being sad is hard. When you feel angry you can feel more in control; when you’re sad, you are weak. It’s the only emotion out of all of the ones you mentioned that leaves you feeling low and vulnerable and at times needing another person to support and be there for you. When you’re angry, healthy people are gonna leave you alone because, well, you’re angry, and communication while you’re angry is usually not that productive. Being sad is hard, and takes a lot of strength, ESPECIALLY around other people.
I feel the opposite, I feel very ashamed about anger because it can be seen as an abusive emotion and my mother was always angry and screaming at me, so I feel deeply ashamed like I'm being abusive if I have an outburst, which happens sometimes because of my trauma and emotional dysregulation amplified by my ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder.
@@candyslayerr ya I had anger repression issues myself didnt even know I was repressing them. I find sitting with myself and allowing the feelings to come up has been helpful, I just welcome whatever is coming up and it usually goes away, easier said then done sometimes tho lol I've got a touch of adhd too so I get it
Very important point I think that grief comes and goes. You can get stuck in a mindset of "I should be over this already". But it's like an injury that can flare up even years later if it was severe
I needed this. 1. Don’t watch tarot readings lol 2. Work through the reality of healing for sure. Thank you for this. I feel physical heartbreak pain. It is not easy and it sucks so much.
I’ve been watching tarot readings just to motivate me that something better is coming in my life after all this darkness. Though I take them with a grain of salt at least there’s something to look forward to.
You probably won’t read this Dr. Stephanie, but your words have been so helpful to me recently. So much fruit here to take up. Thanks so much for all you’re doing!
I see this , Your gonna get through this , your doing great focus on the positive and you will be the best version of yourself you will see. It does hurt and your not alone. 🙏
I own that what happened to me is part of my story and life experience to grow to where I am. Although I feel anger (sadness/grief) and bitterness and want to blame others for not rescuing me from a toxic situation, I know I need to own my feelings (vs victim mode) and take responsibility in order to go out and find the partner I am supposed to be with. The relationship served it's purpose and now I am a better person as a result of it :) - self-worth, boundaries, intuition, vocalizing my needs, closer relationships, more compassion etc
@@StephanieLynCoaching this is the most tangible and clear explanation of how to heal from a trauma bond relationship experience, that I’ve encountered, thank you !
I think the pain was worth it. I'm still in it but I had to see the narcissist friend do her worst. Then at least I reached the point of being done with this person. I am free but still a bit wounded. Needs some time.
This is so true! I am currently in the process of healing from a toxic manager, she moved departments but she still stops by and visits. I used to regularly vent to my two close coworker friends about what this lady used to do to me. I realize that no amount of venting and reanalyzing the situation will help me feel better. This person along with other ugly people I have dealt with in my life carry hate in their heart and expect me to take their garbage, I realize that it is my responsibility, like she said to get off this trauma rollercoaster! Reliving my past is inflicting pain on myself for no reason. I realize one of my triggers was that she used to ignore me a lot or exclude me, it used to make me feel sooo self conscious.
Taking responsibility for whatever happened with you in order to heal and not staying in the state of victim does make sense. But sometimes, until things don't make sense to you, you are going to be stuck in one stage and it will be very hard to move on. Its because you are looking for closure. Just give yourself some time. Feel everything. Let it pass may it good or bad. Thats all I can say. :)
I have been watching your U-tube videos about 2 weeks now and WOW. I am working through my most deep issues and notice a very big improvement in every aspect of life. I have always been very anxious with panic attacks. I just took it upon myself thinking this is the way I am and there's no change. there's always medication but medication has side effects and the side effects cause additional issues. by watching and listening to your TH-cam videos I am now digging my way out of this extremely deep rabbit hole. I've been stuck in this rabbit hole with doubt self-pity and guilt Etc. you have given me the tools with validation that I am on the right track. it has taken me 58 years to get to this point and like you said there is no quick solution. with that being said I'm going to have good days and not-so-good days but these past two weeks I am beginning to see the light. the light is giving me the power to keep on going keep on digging and just knowing and seeing there is a way out makes it so empowering. I do thank you so very much for each and every video. Barry
Yes my counselor said this it’s like a rollercoaster ride you’re doing so good enjoying then boom something triggers you and you get emotional down sometimes feel depressed but I tell my no I’m not going to be like this forever it’s just a motion also she said when you don’t get triggered anymore you healed
Great video. Absolutely true. Somebody else my have dug the hole we fell into but we're the ones who have to get our selves out of that hole. So healing our wounds, triggers etc. is the only real way out if we want a different experience and to be able to build a different life.
Hey Stephanie, I’ve been following your videos since 2020 (which was a very tough year for me). I finally brought myself to move on from a painful and toxic relationship through the help of your videos. Lately I’ve been having some fragments of the past resurfacing but your videos have been so helpful. Thanks for all you do. ❤️
Someone said if you're triggered by what someone says the universe is telling you that you are not free. You are actually letting someone else dictate how you should feel. Thank you for this video.
You are so incredibly helpful!!! So often I have felt like “well my ex did this to me a million times” without ever thinking about why I let it happen a million times and why I let myself stay and react in ways o was so ashamed of!! Totally believe in accountability and acknowledging how my part played in my life while also understanding it’s ok to feel sad that I stayed so long and reacted in ways I normally wouldn’t. You’re great, thank you!!!
I like that you mentioned to step away from verbally reacting to triggers. I'm working on saying "I don't know why (so-and-so) said or did that thing" and it stops the story from playing out. Then I examine what story was playing out in my thoughts that caused me to feel the perceived offense.
This isn't a video that says, hey let's get over the abuse instead of through it.. here's a video I think says, yes, you're experience was very real (validation) but let's rise from it.. good stuff!! 💯
Accepting that (it) happened and holding yourself accountable to start your healing it’s important. Deciding to (want) to heal and taking actual steps (micro steps) can truly make all the difference. From a self love content creator to another, great video Stephanie! 💗
Ty Steph! I needed to hear this 🙏 Knowing you have control over the way you deal with a trigger is something I was aware of but never knew how to do. I I know for me it's going to be a skill I know I need to keep working at to master, to not go in that rabbit hole & be reactive but to walk past it with awareness & logic. I know its going to be another tool to help me leave my past in my past in order to have the life I want to live today ❤ 💪 🌟
THIS! This is the kind of video that I will come back to and share with others. It covers so much and has helped me to understand some areas for me that still need awareness and compassion. I am proud to say that I am much better at catching unhelpful stories (from past hurts) in their tracks. Wishing everyone peace and thanks again Stephanie for your time! 🌹
The only thing I want to say after watching this video is - Thank you soooooo much from the bottom of my heart, love you so much for showing the way. Wish me luck ♥️
Stephanie I just want to say thank you much. I was diagnosed with GAD(Generalized Anxiety Disorder) in Feb 2022 and I needed resources in between my Therapy sessions and came across your vids and I must say you have helped me more than my Therapist has🌹thank you thank you and I have came a long way and feel so much better and now I can finally say that I love myself and the woman I am becoming.
Stop watching their social media. It's key. I get so many compulsive times a day when i really want to do it and it's a real struggle but i won't give up.
This is So Good!!! Thank you for the reminder about being gentle with myself and letting this healing process be natural.. I noticed it's been hard when I'm feeling so good and feeling strong about the decision I made to walk away from a spiritual narcissist about 8 months ago and then I wake up feeling sad and anxious and all these thoughts and emotions flood through my heart and my mind and all the memories and the confusion.... And so this is reminding me that the healing is going to come in waves and then it's just going to take time and there's no rushing it and to just keep things for my self that bring me peace and happiness and my healing will continue everyday until hopefully this whole messed up situation will just be a distant memory💖
I've been handed this garbage trauma since childhood. I wouldn't be me without it. it's worth it. I'm not going to let any verb, noun be a emotional trigger to my healing. don't allow them to bring up the past trauma that you weren't even prepped for make you give up. Keep it up, don't let them belittle your hurt. your healing
I love you Stephanie, your videos and presentation. You've helped me tremendously on topics I never knew very little about. Would like to meet you one day. Thanks
OMG this video was so timely for me. I can't express how grateful I am for this content. You are so articulate. I get it, in detail, for the first time. I especially had a light bulb moment when said, "don't feed the story", I finally understand how I freak myself out by feeding the story.
Aww😍😍.. Much love for you. Acknowledging and owning it all by yourself is the foundation, it's the only way that will lead us to light of self forgiveness and loving ourselves unconditionally
This is a helpful approach and watching your videos has enabled me to understand what was, at the time, so puzzling and to learn why not to pine for the partner who discarded me. I can easily see where time and a healthy approach can transform today's pain to tomorrow's near forgotten memory. However, one thing that I haven't seen covered in a way that would help my particular situation is when the person involved has left behind something that will continue to come up in the future as a frequent reminder, like an STI ... As the song from 1983 goes -- "Always something there to remind me". I can see where a narcissist's self image would let them avoid being tested, despite symptoms, and choose to only faintly disclose, in order to get what they want, but whenever I start to forget I get a literal and physical reminder. I suppose there are others who have been ruined financially, who will always be reminded. Thoughts on how an STI or financial ruin can be seen as a golden nugget?
I’m really depressed, was discarded 4 months ago after 3 years out of the blue. She’s blocked me so silent treatment as well, I thought we loved eachother so didn’t see it coming, I also changed her life for the better, I really miss her it’s killing me, she’s been so nasty and I’ve done nothing wrong, I’ve never known someone be so evil
So incredibly spot on and profound to me. I had to pause and reflect and absorb your words. I read Karnen O's comment, and then reread them to digest what she said. wow This video and Karen O's comments are my beacons moving...FORWARD.....
Thank you for great advice. Different wounds need to be dressed differently. It is better to walk around the rabbit hole and be able to think rationally, rather than fall into the rabbit hole, get emotionally triggered and suffer from flashbacks. It is hard stuff when you have many different wounds to heal but getting emotionally healthy is worth it all.
Thank you for sharing all your content & wisdom. I’m 54 & in therapy following finally breaking at Christmas after years of what I now know was emotional abuse by my narcissistic mum (85yrs). I really struggle with the acceptance of what has happened and the fact I have to grieve the loss of my mum whilst she is living. It’s overwhelming & my father was a rage full person so childhood looking back wasn’t as rosy as I thought & that is a huge realisation. The trauma bond to my mum is huge & I get totally why people stay in abusive relationships. I have. Your videos on narcissistic parents & narcissism really help along with boundaries. Thank you 🙏 ❤️
I understand I'm dealing with the same with my mom. I'm fifty and she's eighty two. It still took me years to realize how mom was affecting my life, my husband, my children and many other family members. My parents have been married for over sixty years and I do not know how my dad has made it in their marriage. He's a wonderful father, husband, grandfather and person. I don't get to talk to him without mom present she has to have control over his life as well. I had to distance myself from her for my health. I know a day will come when I will be the one to take the responsibility of caring for both of them as they are elderly. It's something I will gladly do for both of them because I love them equally. I hope mom's behavior doesn't continue to worsen. If her behavior worsens I will have to find a way to handle the behavior and not allow my health, mentally and physically to decline.
@@stephenskayla2079 take care of yourself 🙏 sending you very best wishes and good luck with finding peace and a way to handle the situation without it adversely affecting your health, as I am also trying to do but it’s so very very hard isn’t it when this is your own mother (and in my case brother too) doing this.
Same here, I find it super insightful and helpful, presented broadly enough for anyone to resonate with and apply to their personal journey. Will be sharing the link with others. Thank you Stephanie! 😇
Wow really love the trigger piece to this video 🙏 this is something I am dealing with now and have become very present too as my ex lives in the same town and is very well known in the community so while I'm healing in Great strides there's these words and people and things that keep getting thrown around and I'm definitely feeling it in my body... When this happens my stomach sinks but I start breathing deeply and telling myself that I am okay now & that I am safe and then I get out in nature and take a walk and work through all that sticky energy 💖
I keep thinking of my ex of 30 yrs ago. I'm 5'7 and weighed 125 at age 22. He was older than me by 3 years. He would call me fat. I took it to heart. I would take diet pills and became bulimic. I then weighed 112 lbs just for him. He is a trigger that pops up. I'm just now realizing he was a narcissist. Thank you for this information.💗
So sorry abt this. 5’7 your ideal body weight average for your height is 134 pounds. So 125 pounds I bet you looked great! I understand. I’m 5’7 and at one time I was 5’7 and 115 pounds… still not skinny enough for him. He was and is at least 20 pounds overweight. It’s not about the weight… is the dark cloud energy they operate in to kill, steal and destroy our God given value. They are delusional.
Really enjoyed it! Your videos are extremely validating they are my go to whenever whenever I am feeling too stuck. They fill me with hope and lots of positive energy 🥺❤️thank you 🙏🏻
I truly do find your videos extremely healthy. I feel like there's no cure to narcissism. But I feel like I have a weapon and armor to help come back this that it is as my life. Just so you know.
This is so exactly what I need to hear right now as I come out of intense trauma therapy and feel a bit lost figuring out what to do next. Thank you so much:) ❤️💖🙏💕💝🥰
Your video are great! Has been very helpful and refreshing listening over this Christmas. I’m feeling good. You present this info very clearly and nicely. Thanks
Hi im trying to heal from a long distance relationship of 4 yrs, and he says he wanted us to be friends. I really loved him but he wasnt communicating with me and we haven't seen each other in months. At this point im have to learn how to heal myself. Wish i never met him and didn't have to go through this pain. Thnks for this video
As soon as i accept the situation and acknowledge what has happened to me I can start healing myself. Also, I took my power back as soon as I am not waiting for his apology for hurting me instead I forgive myself . I am RESPONSIBLE for any good or bad feelings i am going thru in my life. Instead of feeling regrets of meeting him, I turn it to be my lessons so i can grow stronger . I am in process of getting to know my wounds since these caused of my triggers . Thank you Stephanie for the video you are awesome and very helpful.
Ya theres a silver lining were healing but in this all our old wounds pop up, it's like what the hell you happened years ago . .atleast we'll be able to heal it this time. .how long have you been dealing with this? I'm on 3.5 months
I love this comment because I am currently stuck feeling like I didn't deserve what he put me through and constantly wondering why he did what he did. It's good to see that you were able to switch your mindset and I hope to do the same
This is my exact frame of mind right now!!!
🥰🥰🌈🌈💯💯
Realizing that they dumped their garbage onto me and no longer accepting it is powerful
Once you start to heal up you will love the new you, you must learn to let go in order to receive 👍 up Michelle
So true!
I’m literally feeling this way right now!
I needed this. Trauma is so evil. It rips apart your very essence and you find so much of your life is spent reliving, hurting, healing those broken parts of yourself. Especially when it happens over and over again. I woke up this morning so angry that there were so many parts of my life that were damaged. I’ve given up on the hope for peace because I have experienced tremendous disappointment, rejection, and abandonment. The most frustrating and sad part is doing all those things to myself. Stephanie, you’re right... owning my healing, emotions, and actions are critical.
I’m trying to get there to getting control of my life.
I hope you find peace...I have been reliving my recent trauma over and over again for the past few weeks and can't seem to stop. I wake up every single morning feeling sad, angry, and defeated. I hope that I won't be in this state for much longer.
Well said Karen, I feel you.
🤗💐🦋
I feel stuck right now living with my parents. I hope to be out soon then, I can start to heal with all the trauma they caused me. I am not hopeless in that I cannot get out, I have done it before and know this time not to return. I am better off on my own with community support.
Your words as well as those of Stephanie's in this video are so spot on for me , I must pause the video and absorb her words. As a matter of fact. I stopped the video to reflect absorb and reset myself, I saw your words "I needed this",.....wow your words spoke to me and where I'm at. I have read it 4 times ..I will read it many more as i replay this video . I am typing this at the 11 minute mark. Owning my healing...that for me is right up there with "only I own me" lyrics from Adventure of a lifetime, by Coldplay. Inspiring words Karen O.
Being sad is hard. When you feel angry you can feel more in control; when you’re sad, you are weak. It’s the only emotion out of all of the ones you mentioned that leaves you feeling low and vulnerable and at times needing another person to support and be there for you. When you’re angry, healthy people are gonna leave you alone because, well, you’re angry, and communication while you’re angry is usually not that productive. Being sad is hard, and takes a lot of strength, ESPECIALLY around other people.
Feeling sad isnt uncomfortable for me, I just accept that its not forever and its healthy to let it out. . I'm just tired of feeling angry lol
How long were you in anger?
I feel the opposite, I feel very ashamed about anger because it can be seen as an abusive emotion and my mother was always angry and screaming at me, so I feel deeply ashamed like I'm being abusive if I have an outburst, which happens sometimes because of my trauma and emotional dysregulation amplified by my ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder.
@@candyslayerr ya I had anger repression issues myself didnt even know I was repressing them. I find sitting with myself and allowing the feelings to come up has been helpful, I just welcome whatever is coming up and it usually goes away, easier said then done sometimes tho lol I've got a touch of adhd too so I get it
Very important point I think that grief comes and goes. You can get stuck in a mindset of "I should be over this already". But it's like an injury that can flare up even years later if it was severe
This makes me feel normal. I’m usually a strong person but almost a year post breakup I can’t seem to move on emotionally 🥺
I needed this. 1. Don’t watch tarot readings lol 2. Work through the reality of healing for sure.
Thank you for this. I feel physical heartbreak pain. It is not easy and it sucks so much.
Lollll tarot readings affect indeed 😂🙈
Ehhh it depends lol. Some Tarot cards are eerily accurate.
Lol yeah i have been stuck with them tbh hahahaha
Crap I’ve been watching tarot readings everyday. Guess I’ll stop lol
I’ve been watching tarot readings just to motivate me that something better is coming in my life after all this darkness. Though I take them with a grain of salt at least there’s something to look forward to.
I can’t believe that a smart and beautiful woman like yourself was caught up in a abuse relationship
You probably won’t read this Dr. Stephanie, but your words have been so helpful to me recently. So much fruit here to take up. Thanks so much for all you’re doing!
I see this , Your gonna get through this , your doing great focus on the positive and you will be the best version of yourself you will see. It does hurt and your not alone. 🙏
I wrote exactly the same thing, amazing advice on many different areas that’s really helping me move forward
I own that what happened to me is part of my story and life experience to grow to where I am. Although I feel anger (sadness/grief) and bitterness and want to blame others for not rescuing me from a toxic situation, I know I need to own my feelings (vs victim mode) and take responsibility in order to go out and find the partner I am supposed to be with. The relationship served it's purpose and now I am a better person as a result of it :) - self-worth, boundaries, intuition, vocalizing my needs, closer relationships, more compassion etc
I have been obsessing over the ‘how’ of healing, so this was ideal ☺️
Yay! Honestly.. this is the foundation so just practice and you will get there.
@@StephanieLynCoaching this is the most tangible and clear explanation of how to heal from a trauma bond relationship experience, that I’ve encountered, thank you !
I think the pain was worth it. I'm still in it but I had to see the narcissist friend do her worst. Then at least I reached the point of being done with this person. I am free but still a bit wounded. Needs some time.
This is so true! I am currently in the process of healing from a toxic manager, she moved departments but she still stops by and visits. I used to regularly vent to my two close coworker friends about what this lady used to do to me. I realize that no amount of venting and reanalyzing the situation will help me feel better. This person along with other ugly people I have dealt with in my life carry hate in their heart and expect me to take their garbage, I realize that it is my responsibility, like she said to get off this trauma rollercoaster! Reliving my past is inflicting pain on myself for no reason. I realize one of my triggers was that she used to ignore me a lot or exclude me, it used to make me feel sooo self conscious.
Be accountable vs a victim is life changing
Taking responsibility for whatever happened with you in order to heal and not staying in the state of victim does make sense. But sometimes, until things don't make sense to you, you are going to be stuck in one stage and it will be very hard to move on. Its because you are looking for closure. Just give yourself some time. Feel everything. Let it pass may it good or bad. Thats all I can say. :)
Right. Many times we look for closures. Many times we look for justice. And justice never comes, so we stay stuck
I have been watching your U-tube videos about 2 weeks now and WOW. I am working through my most deep issues and notice a very big improvement in every aspect of life. I have always been very anxious with panic attacks. I just took it upon myself thinking this is the way I am and there's no change. there's always medication but medication has side effects and the side effects cause additional issues. by watching and listening to your TH-cam videos I am now digging my way out of this extremely deep rabbit hole. I've been stuck in this rabbit hole with doubt self-pity and guilt Etc. you have given me the tools with validation that I am on the right track. it has taken me 58 years to get to this point and like you said there is no quick solution. with that being said I'm going to have good days and not-so-good days but these past two weeks I am beginning to see the light. the light is giving me the power to keep on going keep on digging and just knowing and seeing there is a way out makes it so empowering. I do thank you so very much for each and every video. Barry
Yes my counselor said this it’s like a rollercoaster ride you’re doing so good enjoying then boom something triggers you and you get emotional down sometimes feel depressed but I tell my no I’m not going to be like this forever it’s just a motion also she said when you don’t get triggered anymore you healed
Thankyou for sharring this!!!!!
@@luckyduckydaisyflower2344 ❤️❤️
My mom & grandma were addicts so effected from abandonment & neglect 👌
Great video. Absolutely true. Somebody else my have dug the hole we fell into but we're the ones who have to get our selves out of that hole. So healing our wounds, triggers etc. is the only real way out if we want a different experience and to be able to build a different life.
Hey Stephanie, I’ve been following your videos since 2020 (which was a very tough year for me). I finally brought myself to move on from a painful and toxic relationship through the help of your videos. Lately I’ve been having some fragments of the past resurfacing but your videos have been so helpful. Thanks for all you do. ❤️
Thank you for brilliant observations and excellent advice ❤😊
The pain is there to teach us ❤
Someone said if you're triggered by what someone says the universe is telling you that you are not free. You are actually letting someone else dictate how you should feel. Thank you for this video.
You are so incredibly helpful!!! So often I have felt like “well my ex did this to me a million times” without ever thinking about why I let it happen a million times and why I let myself stay and react in ways o was so ashamed of!! Totally believe in accountability and acknowledging how my part played in my life while also understanding it’s ok to feel sad that I stayed so long and reacted in ways I normally wouldn’t. You’re great, thank you!!!
I like that you mentioned to step away from verbally reacting to triggers. I'm working on saying "I don't know why (so-and-so) said or did that thing" and it stops the story from playing out. Then I examine what story was playing out in my thoughts that caused me to feel the perceived offense.
This isn't a video that says, hey let's get over the abuse instead of through it.. here's a video I think says, yes, you're experience was very real (validation) but let's rise from it.. good stuff!! 💯
I keep telling people I can’t be angry because sadness is the overwhelming emotion. I have no room for anger right now.
Accepting that (it) happened and holding yourself accountable to start your healing it’s important. Deciding to (want) to heal and taking actual steps (micro steps) can truly make all the difference.
From a self love content creator to another, great video Stephanie! 💗
Ty Steph! I needed to hear this 🙏 Knowing you have control over the way you deal with a trigger is something I was aware of but never knew how to do. I I know for me it's going to be a skill I know I need to keep working at to master, to not go in that rabbit hole & be reactive but to walk past it with awareness & logic. I know its going to be another tool to help me leave my past in my past in order to have the life I want to live today
❤ 💪 🌟
THIS! This is the kind of video that I will come back to and share with others. It covers so much and has helped me to understand some areas for me that still need awareness and compassion. I am proud to say that I am much better at catching unhelpful stories (from past hurts) in their tracks. Wishing everyone peace and thanks again Stephanie for your time! 🌹
The only thing I want to say after watching this video is - Thank you soooooo much from the bottom of my heart, love you so much for showing the way. Wish me luck ♥️
Stephanie I just want to say thank you much. I was diagnosed with GAD(Generalized Anxiety Disorder) in Feb 2022 and I needed resources in between my Therapy sessions and came across your vids and I must say you have helped me more than my Therapist has🌹thank you thank you and I have came a long way and feel so much better and now I can finally say that I love myself and the woman I am becoming.
I' am glad for you, thanks for the Hope.
Stop watching their social media. It's key. I get so many compulsive times a day when i really want to do it and it's a real struggle but i won't give up.
Very word is so meaningful in this video
This is So Good!!! Thank you for the reminder about being gentle with myself and letting this healing process be natural.. I noticed it's been hard when I'm feeling so good and feeling strong about the decision I made to walk away from a spiritual narcissist about 8 months ago and then I wake up feeling sad and anxious and all these thoughts and emotions flood through my heart and my mind and all the memories and the confusion.... And so this is reminding me that the healing is going to come in waves and then it's just going to take time and there's no rushing it and to just keep things for my self that bring me peace and happiness and my healing will continue everyday until hopefully this whole messed up situation will just be a distant memory💖
I've been handed this garbage trauma since childhood. I wouldn't be me without it. it's worth it. I'm not going to let any verb, noun be a emotional trigger to my healing. don't allow them to bring up the past trauma that you weren't even prepped for make you give up. Keep it up, don't let them belittle your hurt. your healing
I love you Stephanie, your videos and presentation. You've helped me tremendously on topics I never knew very little about. Would like to meet you one day. Thanks
Great tools, we can grow and heal at the same time, in the most beautiful way ONE DAY AT A TIME. ONE LOVE.
I really resonated with this message today!!! I am very appreciative of receiving this message, and I will share this with others!!👍🏽
OMG this video was so timely for me. I can't express how grateful I am for this content. You are so articulate. I get it, in detail, for the first time. I especially had a light bulb moment when said, "don't feed the story", I finally understand how I freak myself out by feeding the story.
Aww😍😍.. Much love for you. Acknowledging and owning it all by yourself is the foundation, it's the only way that will lead us to light of self forgiveness and loving ourselves unconditionally
This is a helpful approach and watching your videos has enabled me to understand what was, at the time, so puzzling and to learn why not to pine for the partner who discarded me. I can easily see where time and a healthy approach can transform today's pain to tomorrow's near forgotten memory. However, one thing that I haven't seen covered in a way that would help my particular situation is when the person involved has left behind something that will continue to come up in the future as a frequent reminder, like an STI ... As the song from 1983 goes -- "Always something there to remind me". I can see where a narcissist's self image would let them avoid being tested, despite symptoms, and choose to only faintly disclose, in order to get what they want, but whenever I start to forget I get a literal and physical reminder. I suppose there are others who have been ruined financially, who will always be reminded. Thoughts on how an STI or financial ruin can be seen as a golden nugget?
Who ever took you for granted was a fool. Your an amazing woman
I’m really depressed, was discarded 4 months ago after 3 years out of the blue. She’s blocked me so silent treatment as well, I thought we loved eachother so didn’t see it coming, I also changed her life for the better, I really miss her it’s killing me, she’s been so nasty and I’ve done nothing wrong, I’ve never known someone be so evil
So incredibly spot on and profound to me. I had to pause and reflect and absorb your words. I read Karnen O's comment, and then reread them to digest what she said. wow This video and Karen O's comments are my beacons moving...FORWARD.....
Thank you for great advice. Different wounds need to be dressed differently. It is better to walk around the rabbit hole and be able to think rationally, rather than fall into the rabbit hole, get emotionally triggered and suffer from flashbacks. It is hard stuff when you have many different wounds to heal but getting emotionally healthy is worth it all.
If you feel it, do it. Go girl!
Thank you for sharing all your content & wisdom. I’m 54 & in therapy following finally breaking at Christmas after years of what I now know was emotional abuse by my narcissistic mum (85yrs). I really struggle with the acceptance of what has happened and the fact I have to grieve the loss of my mum whilst she is living. It’s overwhelming & my father was a rage full person so childhood looking back wasn’t as rosy as I thought & that is a huge realisation.
The trauma bond to my mum is huge & I get totally why people stay in abusive relationships. I have.
Your videos on narcissistic parents & narcissism really help along with boundaries. Thank you 🙏 ❤️
I understand I'm dealing with the same with my mom. I'm fifty and she's eighty two. It still took me years to realize how mom was affecting my life, my husband, my children and many other family members. My parents have been married for over sixty years and I do not know how my dad has made it in their marriage. He's a wonderful father, husband, grandfather and person. I don't get to talk to him without mom present she has to have control over his life as well. I had to distance myself from her for my health. I know a day will come when I will be the one to take the responsibility of caring for both of them as they are elderly. It's something I will gladly do for both of them because I love them equally. I hope mom's behavior doesn't continue to worsen. If her behavior worsens I will have to find a way to handle the behavior and not allow my health, mentally and physically to decline.
@@stephenskayla2079 take care of yourself 🙏 sending you very best wishes and good luck with finding peace and a way to handle the situation without it adversely affecting your health, as I am also trying to do but it’s so very very hard isn’t it when this is your own mother (and in my case brother too) doing this.
Stephanie, you’re so good. Your videos have been blessing me 🙏🏾
This was a really good video I’m so grateful It came up on my feed. Thank you💕
I'm so glad!
Same here, I find it super insightful and helpful, presented broadly enough for anyone to resonate with and apply to their personal journey. Will be sharing the link with others. Thank you Stephanie! 😇
Wow really love the trigger piece to this video 🙏 this is something I am dealing with now and have become very present too as my ex lives in the same town and is very well known in the community so while I'm healing in Great strides there's these words and people and things that keep getting thrown around and I'm definitely feeling it in my body... When this happens my stomach sinks but I start breathing deeply and telling myself that I am okay now & that I am safe and then I get out in nature and take a walk and work through all that sticky energy 💖
this is powerful will listen to this one over and over and over this woman should be a quarterback in the women's NFL!!!! RUN THE BALL!!!
It's easy to feel stuck in life, but we can get through it! I know that i will get through my hardships, thank you Stephanie!!
I keep thinking of my ex of 30 yrs ago. I'm 5'7 and weighed 125 at age 22. He was older than me by 3 years. He would call me fat. I took it to heart. I would take diet pills and became bulimic. I then weighed 112 lbs just for him. He is a trigger that pops up. I'm just now realizing he was a narcissist. Thank you for this information.💗
So sorry abt this. 5’7 your ideal body weight average for your height is 134 pounds. So 125 pounds I bet you looked great! I understand. I’m 5’7 and at one time I was 5’7 and 115 pounds… still not skinny enough for him. He was and is at least 20 pounds overweight. It’s not about the weight… is the dark cloud energy they operate in to kill, steal and destroy our God given value. They are delusional.
Beautiful. Thank you so much 💓
I felt as if you were just sitting next to me and explaining it like a dear friend 🙂
Loving your flow and I am responsible for my own flow of healing thank you
So much good quality information in this video. Thank you.
I only wish my 30 year old son could take this in and learn and heal through it.
Glad it was helpful!
Damn Stephanie, you mention a lot of good things in this video. Thank you!
Really enjoyed it! Your videos are extremely validating they are my go to whenever whenever I am feeling too stuck. They fill me with hope and lots of positive energy 🥺❤️thank you 🙏🏻
Thank you so much for putting everything in order!! It is very helpful for me to follow the steps you have mentioned - they work!
What I realized dealing with a Narc is that I did not Benefit whatsoever! He completely had his way with me. And I'm done!!!
I love your videos and especially these very practical ones! Thank you for braking it down into small chunks and guiding us through the process. 💕😊🙏🏻
This really helped me. Praise God.
I truly do find your videos extremely healthy. I feel like there's no cure to narcissism. But I feel like I have a weapon and armor to help come back this that it is as my life. Just so you know.
Thanks!
Thank you Stephanie , your videos rocks 👍😊🌼♥️
Wanted to let u know that I follow ur videos weekly, they absolutely help, please continue as long as you're able to Xoxo
Very powerful! Thank you for this priceless information! ❤
You are so true thanks I am learning a lot more me thanks I feel I can't grow up
This is so exactly what I need to hear right now as I come out of intense trauma therapy and feel a bit lost figuring out what to do next. Thank you so much:) ❤️💖🙏💕💝🥰
I am learning more learning each day thank you miss Stephanie for the empowerment and strength to rebuild my life sincerely yours Mrs Amber McCutchen
Seriously in love with your content and so beyond appreciative. ❤️✨🦋
I am so glad you are making these videos, thank you
Hi Stephanie, thanks for your channel and for sharing so many ideas and tips. I wish you all the best for your life.
Thank you , appreciate you so much, God bless your wonderful heart. 🙏
At around 9:25 ish, she just opened my eyes up…in a good way!
I'd request you to write a book covering all topics such as above.... I am confident that it'll be the best seller, self help book
Had many triggers this month, so this is so helpful. I’ve been working through this in a spiritual way! 💕🙏
Hello to whom it may concern I can recommend you to someone that helped me get my ex back recently
Whtsapp him directly
Powerful and helpful message.
Stephy msg is spot on
But am worried for this beautiful lady, she must take a break and hv a blast.
Wonder who is her lucky guy 🤔
My dream woman 😘
These are brilliant concepts and very helpful, thank you.
Stephanie! Thank you.❤
Your video are great! Has been very helpful and refreshing listening over this Christmas. I’m feeling good. You present this info very clearly and nicely. Thanks
What an empowering vid - such great, clear info - thank you❤️
Excellent video. Thank you.
This is EXACTLY what i have been looking for!!💜💜💜
I can recommend you to someone that helped me get my ex back for any help or consult
What sap for directives
+ 1 4 7 8 5 6 9 7 3 9 5 ✔🥰🥰😥🥰🙏🏼🥰😓🥰✝️🥰🦋🥰
I love you.. for all the help you givings us.. it making a difference.. in my life.. i need it this
loved this vid. I'm unclear on the 3rd point though... what is number 3? thanks steph!! you rock
Thanks Stef Thats some real good advice.
Hi im trying to heal from a long distance relationship of 4 yrs, and he says he wanted us to be friends. I really loved him but he wasnt communicating with me and we haven't seen each other in months. At this point im have to learn how to heal myself. Wish i never met him and didn't have to go through this pain. Thnks for this video
very beautiful and rich. thank you
Thanks yet again, Stephanie; great teaching!
Thank you so much🙏🏻. I really appreciate your videos💗.
How do you express your thoughts and talk so well for such a long time…
The way I was saying I feel stuck two days ago. And not a concidnece because I’m healing from trauma.
This was really good 👏🏻
Wise as well as enchanting, much obliged
Thank you for your videos. So appreciative of you.
I do these things but it doesn’t change how I feel.
This is absolutely amazing!!! You are so amazing sharing this with us for free!! Thank you so so much xxxx