Come for the self-help, stay for the hilarious stories! You're a damn fine human Daniel, thanks for all your content, it's very helpful. All the best from England.
So rare to find someone who genuinely exhibits little or no ego. You are an inspiration, as well as being authentic. Good advice too. The beat weapon is between the ears. A decoy wallet is also something I had when travelling in dodgy places (Russia).
Life is a series of interpersonal conflicts, where physically/psychologically weaker people are often targeted. Once a person realizes that this is a universal struggle, that he/she is not the only one experiencing this, he/she mentally heals from such traumas. Unfortunately, in life, there are many conflicts/fights you can't avoid. Humans are conflict lovers and you'll have many of them, especially if you seem weak.
Calling someone weak in these cases is just gaslighting, because a malnourished homeless drunkard can dominate a muscular martial artist with the right knife blow
@@josephmueller3752 You missed my point, bro. You aren't looking at the deeper overall meaning. I'm not focusing on calling anyone "weak," per se. I'm saying that people target those they perceive as weak in some way.
OMG.......you just described me all over. My inner hurt child takes over when I feel disrespected. I either go completely over the top and vetbally attack, or I don't speak up for myself at all. Both ways make me feel lousy afterward. .
Another wise and grounded talk Daniel. Thank you, I really liked it. As I watched I wondered what you might say about questions of healthy assertiveness in life in general.
As much as I am deeply touched by most of your videos, I have not cried before, until this one, that I only saw now, 5 years after you have posted it. It was the comment of your fellow hitchhiker "your best weapon is your kindness and your ability to talk. Use that". I used to have this dream that bad people were about to attack me and I would talk to them with kindness and they would not harm me. It have no idea if this will actually save me in real life. I still want to believe in human kindness, but sometimes we are proven wrong (by the time I saw this video I have also seen the one where you were sadly been mugged...)
MEDIATION is the road to avoiding violence, AKA ''Alternative Dispute Resolution''. 2 KEYs to this approach is ''active listening'' and ''step in their shoes'' to FEEL their POV. I CHING. advises 'never use the same weapon used by your enemy'' use your BRAIN to defend yourself, B/C who ever is attacking you is not using theirs. TAI CHI is the best self defense I have learned. fight FORCE with the opposite, NO FORCE. as a woman, I was attached by a 'forceful man' but instead of trying to match his forces, I withdrew mine, where I became 'limp n slippery'' and he was unable to hold on to me and I was able to get away. if your opponent pushes as hard as they can and YOU stop pushing back against that force...they lose balance and fall on their face. that person is dependent on you using your force to over power them....withdrawing force is 'unexpected tactic'' this is YOUR VICTORY
My advice to each and everyone: Learn how to use violence, at least at a basic level. Knowing how to patch a bicycle tyre doesn't make you a bicycle salesman. Knowing how to tackle an opponent to the ground doesn't make you a violent psychopath. Oh, I care so much for knowing... Know, that aunt Alice was on your side, when your parents were mean to you, and when they made it clear, that you should accept, that they were mean to you. I may be sharp and pointy, but I try to point my sharp and pointy bits towards stuff, that needs to be punctured and cut open. I am also on your side.
You made several good points in your video and I agree with them. I do however, think that some skill level in self-defense is necessary if you encounter a situation where even running away does little (just to be on the safe side). To some extent, I have an interest in martial arts and the training some of the people (I follow) offer is not just beneficial for self-defense but goes a long way in overall fitness as well
Great story. How amazing to meet a sage traveller on the road. Use your ability to talk and your kindness as self defense. That's just wonderful. Before I went to New York City as an adult the first time, a couple of people told me how much they hated it there and how bad it was. Then I read a book that said to carry mugger's money to give someone who robs you. My expectations were sooo low and I was kinda scared. It was the opposite. People I encountered were really nice, the subway was clean and people were dressed neatly. A man broke into a beautiful Gospel song right next to me. I even went into the subway after midnight to get to Brooklyn and yes, there were some down and out people but if you're a genuine person, then others are as well. I really love New York. Somehow the low expectations set me up for so many amazing surprises.
1:48... How do we check our ego, long-term and short-term approach 2:28... 3:03... Don't take it personally 3:37 don't carry weapons 9:48... 10:16... Ability to talk and your kindness..
I, on the other hand, regret not having started a few fights. I am 6'2, strong voiced and pretty athletic so the the teachers or cops assumed I was the agressor no matter what - although I never was. Had I at least slapped or subdued the asshole who messed with my car, kept leaving a barking dog at home for two days, started smoking under my apartment I wouldn't lose anything and most probably end the problems at hand. Feels good to write this, thanks. I will not go away in a situational defeat, mocked by shameless scumbags, ever again.
I really disagree with the weapon part but I appreciate the responsibility you give it IMMENSELY. People really need to understand how to handle the power even more than martial arts skills. This is why I highly recommend pepper spray. It’s nonlethal, easy to use, and doesn’t make you feel badass. It’s nice as it isn’t just for fighting with humans and whatnot. Good for preventing dog and rabid animal attacks, etc etc. Every weapon comes with a responsibility though.
You are correct! Every martial arts video I've watched recommend avoiding a fight when possible. Pride of ego/self can cause more problems win or lose. Having some self defense techniques are necessary when running and rhetoric is not an option. I've been having knee problems for 10+ years. I can not outrun an attacker so some form of effective disabling tactic is necessary for me.
The philosophy of martial arts is knowing what will happen in a fight, because you have prepared yourself. The philosophy of getting into fights is finding out what will happen in a fight.
Having people skills to defuse a conflict is great, but on the other hand, it won't stop certain stubbord arseholes from pushing your boundaries to the limit. Sometimes the only option is to risk your 'life and limb' to break out of a conflict and avoid damage to your self respect down the road. Because from my personal expericnce, having been relentlessly bullied for years at school and not having the balls to fight back, it cost me dearly in terms of friends, relationships, lost status at work, and the sense of self respect in general. It is what it is. Life is brutal and only the strongest survive.
Jocko Willink navy seals jui jitsu guy says all self defense should let you defend enough for you go then Run. Also self-'control' as psychologist Wendy Wood says when it comes to bullying is to walk away and remove yourself from the situation. Boundaries and not engaging with them and situational awareness. I.e. midnight and place
For me carrying a weapon gives me this very serious sense of responsibility to de-escalate at all costs so I can’t relate with the feeling of power. I know that if I escalate and it leads to a conflict that the courts will destroy me. Another option is to carry a non lethal type of weapon like pepper spray tho.
This is all nice in theory but if you have CPTS(D) controlling your reactions can be almost impossible. I was sexually assaulted when I was around 20(blocked the memory for years), and even into my late 20s I could not tolerate any slight objectification, I went through mild sexual harassment at 3 corporate jobs (2 of them just verbal, one actually laid his hands on me), and I made a formal complaint to HR each time. I won't give examples of the stuff I went through but let's just say they were clear cases of (sexual) harassment, and each time went on repeatedly for months, with me trying various non-aggressive ways to end it, making it damn near impossible to focus on my work, because my brain was all over the place and triggered(and I really depended on those jobs to survive). I knew each time that once I made a formal complaint I would start the timer on how long I could last on the job in question(and be the target of narcissistic abuse at the office, where all the men side with each other here out of principle), but putting up with it was excruciatingly painful, so I made formal complaints to get those specimens in question to leave me alone-which they did. I managed to last just long enough at those jobs to save enough money to live off of until I got the next job. No regrets. I have since gone through EMDR plus lockdowns since 2020 have been great on my nerves, no longer having to deal with the gross levels of chauvinism I witnessed at work on a regular basis(I live in East Europe, and sexism is much worse here than in the West, imo) because home office.
Interesting. 10 years of shaolin martial arts with fluent spoken mandarin Chinese, I realised my best weapon 🔫 of defence is my passive personality and understanding of stupid people and of the law ⚖. I know I could take down 7 men with 4 kicks and 3 blows. But I also know putting someone in hospital will certainly bear legal consequences against me therefore is it really worth it? And do I really want to see someone's family suffering because I left them brain 🧠 dead ☠? No. But I've had once been forced beyond my boundary and I gave this guy a painful warning kick to prove him I'm willing to shake hands or unleash my inner dragons if he doesn't turn it off now and it worked! He backed off. The irony is fighting can be a beautiful and honourable thing if your life or the honour of your country depends on it or if it is to save someone else being attacked in the street but you need to be really good and that's why everyone needs to learn self defense especially women - only act within the law, I repeat, the law. Martial arts teaches you to respect your opponent and you do that by backing off when he can longer fight back. If you have to, then you should never fight with anger and be willing to forgive your opponent. If you recognise you are at fault or have caused the provocation, then you're not honoured to fight. In that case, fighting will be dishonourable and immoral and having breeched martial law will get you arrested as well. It's about common sense. Apologise when you're wrong, behave like a civilised gentleman and no one will want to insult you. Dress moderately serves the of presenting zen low profile and yes, good old running you don't wanna showcase your wealth and display your valuables, don't go attention seeking and be an obnoxious and arrogant person. All these things are kews which will trigger someone else wanting to attack you.
Hi Daniel, this is an interesting video. I just noticed something : I have the impression that all that fights thing is quite american. I am not sure of it, but I have recently watched a video about a woman talking the way she felt when she returned to the USA after a 2 years trip in Europe. And she talked a lot about the continuous fear there is in America. (here is the video : th-cam.com/video/5M1Crar5akI/w-d-xo.html). I am french, and all that stuff are quite weird to me and seems like obsession. I mean, I am not naive, of course something can happen, I can be assaulted or anything. And it did happen, but it is not something that is in my mind regularly, even if I am a woman. I am careful, but I have very rarely see a real fight in front of me. Plus, here we don't have all that things about guns. I have studied that a little to understand why america is so obsessed with guns and for how long. Anyway, this is a very interesting subject and I think also that it shows how people are hungry within themselves and need to express that and unwind what they feel. Unfortunately, most of the people are not aware that is possible to do it, feel and heal without to hurt anyone. I do think the best weapon is to talk, and when it is not possible, to simply run away.
This may be a bit too late but the probable reason why Americans are so obsessed with guns, violence and self defense is because of their historical background. America was basically founded from violence, trickery and murder of the original inhabitants of the continent. And their fear of getting the same treatment by another was encoded into their collective consciousness.
you are *cute* . as if only fights happen because of insults. more interesting would have been when people come up to you and directly threaten you physically in a land were weapons are forbidden and their main issue to attack you would rather be that you have little self respect that you do not assert yourself and their main deal is who has the bigger balls and bigger muscles. imo pointless advice in this case. for your cases maybe worthwhile.
Come for the self-help, stay for the hilarious stories! You're a damn fine human Daniel, thanks for all your content, it's very helpful. All the best from England.
So rare to find someone who genuinely exhibits little or no ego.
You are an inspiration, as well as being authentic.
Good advice too. The beat weapon is between the ears. A decoy wallet is also something I had when travelling in dodgy places (Russia).
Life is a series of interpersonal conflicts, where physically/psychologically weaker people are often targeted. Once a person realizes that this is a universal struggle, that he/she is not the only one experiencing this, he/she mentally heals from such traumas. Unfortunately, in life, there are many conflicts/fights you can't avoid. Humans are conflict lovers and you'll have many of them, especially if you seem weak.
Calling someone weak in these cases is just gaslighting, because a malnourished homeless drunkard can dominate a muscular martial artist with the right knife blow
@@josephmueller3752 You missed my point, bro. You aren't looking at the deeper overall meaning. I'm not focusing on calling anyone "weak," per se. I'm saying that people target those they perceive as weak in some way.
OMG.......you just described me all over. My inner hurt child takes over when I feel disrespected. I either go completely over the top and vetbally attack, or I don't speak up for myself at all. Both ways make me feel lousy afterward. .
Another wise and grounded talk Daniel. Thank you, I really liked it. As I watched I wondered what you might say about questions of healthy assertiveness in life in general.
As much as I am deeply touched by most of your videos, I have not cried before, until this one, that I only saw now, 5 years after you have posted it. It was the comment of your fellow hitchhiker "your best weapon is your kindness and your ability to talk. Use that". I used to have this dream that bad people were about to attack me and I would talk to them with kindness and they would not harm me. It have no idea if this will actually save me in real life. I still want to believe in human kindness, but sometimes we are proven wrong (by the time I saw this video I have also seen the one where you were sadly been mugged...)
Wishing you the best :) Thank you for your posts. Daniel
Emotional for me too!
Definitely recommend the books, videos, or audiobooks from Marshall Rosenberg!
Thank you for these very practical tips.
MEDIATION is the road to avoiding violence, AKA ''Alternative Dispute Resolution''. 2 KEYs to this approach is ''active listening'' and ''step in their shoes'' to FEEL their POV. I CHING. advises 'never use the same weapon used by your enemy''
use your BRAIN to defend yourself, B/C who ever is attacking you is not using theirs. TAI CHI is the best self defense I have learned. fight FORCE with the opposite, NO FORCE. as a woman, I was attached by a 'forceful man' but instead of trying to match his forces, I withdrew mine, where I became 'limp n slippery'' and he was unable to hold on to me and I was able to get away.
if your opponent pushes as hard as they can and YOU stop pushing back against that force...they lose balance and fall on their face. that person is dependent on you using your force to over power them....withdrawing force is 'unexpected tactic'' this is YOUR VICTORY
My advice to each and everyone: Learn how to use violence, at least at a basic level.
Knowing how to patch a bicycle tyre doesn't make you a bicycle salesman.
Knowing how to tackle an opponent to the ground doesn't make you a violent psychopath.
Oh, I care so much for knowing...
Know, that aunt Alice was on your side, when your parents were mean to you, and when they made it clear, that you should accept, that they were mean to you.
I may be sharp and pointy, but I try to point my sharp and pointy bits towards stuff, that needs to be punctured and cut open.
I am also on your side.
You made several good points in your video and I agree with them. I do however, think that some skill level in self-defense is necessary if you encounter a situation where even running away does little (just to be on the safe side). To some extent, I have an interest in martial arts and the training some of the people (I follow) offer is not just beneficial for self-defense but goes a long way in overall fitness as well
Great story. How amazing to meet a sage traveller on the road. Use your ability to talk and your kindness as self defense. That's just wonderful.
Before I went to New York City as an adult the first time, a couple of people told me how much they hated it there and how bad it was. Then I read a book that said to carry mugger's money to give someone who robs you. My expectations were sooo low and I was kinda scared.
It was the opposite. People I encountered were really nice, the subway was clean and people were dressed neatly. A man broke into a beautiful Gospel song right next to me. I even went into the subway after midnight to get to Brooklyn and yes, there were some down and out people but if you're a genuine person, then others are as well. I really love New York. Somehow the low expectations set me up for so many amazing surprises.
1:48... How do we check our ego, long-term and short-term approach
2:28...
3:03... Don't take it personally
3:37 don't carry weapons
9:48...
10:16... Ability to talk and your kindness..
I, on the other hand, regret not having started a few fights. I am 6'2, strong voiced and pretty athletic so the the teachers or cops assumed I was the agressor no matter what - although I never was. Had I at least slapped or subdued the asshole who messed with my car, kept leaving a barking dog at home for two days, started smoking under my apartment I wouldn't lose anything and most probably end the problems at hand. Feels good to write this, thanks. I will not go away in a situational defeat, mocked by shameless scumbags, ever again.
I really disagree with the weapon part but I appreciate the responsibility you give it IMMENSELY. People really need to understand how to handle the power even more than martial arts skills.
This is why I highly recommend pepper spray. It’s nonlethal, easy to use, and doesn’t make you feel badass.
It’s nice as it isn’t just for fighting with humans and whatnot. Good for preventing dog and rabid animal attacks, etc etc.
Every weapon comes with a responsibility though.
Soo too true. It reflects my experiences as a martial artist, as a solo woman traveller and as an emotional consultant.
You are correct! Every martial arts video I've watched recommend avoiding a fight when possible. Pride of ego/self can cause more problems win or lose. Having some self defense techniques are necessary when running and rhetoric is not an option. I've been having knee problems for 10+ years. I can not outrun an attacker so some form of effective disabling tactic is necessary for me.
Very interesting video
This is my all time favourite martial arts lesson!!!
The philosophy of martial arts is knowing what will happen in a fight, because you have prepared yourself.
The philosophy of getting into fights is finding out what will happen in a fight.
❤You make very important points regarding weapons.
Great stories!!!!
Having people skills to defuse a conflict is great, but on the other hand, it won't stop certain stubbord arseholes from pushing your boundaries to the limit. Sometimes the only option is to risk your 'life and limb' to break out of a conflict and avoid damage to your self respect down the road. Because from my personal expericnce, having been relentlessly bullied for years at school and not having the balls to fight back, it cost me dearly in terms of friends, relationships, lost status at work, and the sense of self respect in general. It is what it is. Life is brutal and only the strongest survive.
10:22 that just smashed me in the face, brilliant and very clever
Daniel... Do you ever talk about Lunecy ? Seems to be so much of it...everywhere...I'm not sure...what it is...is it contagious ?
Hitch hiking! Daniel, you are brave! I picked up hitch hikers three times in my life. It is not something I will ever do again.
Also worthy of a mention is how a carried weapon can be siezed, and used against one, by an assailant ie potentially counter productive.
My grandfather used to carry his "mugger's wallet" in NYC, similar concept.
Jocko Willink navy seals jui jitsu guy says all self defense should let you defend enough for you go then Run.
Also self-'control' as psychologist Wendy Wood says when it comes to bullying is to walk away and remove yourself from the situation.
Boundaries and not engaging with them and situational awareness.
I.e. midnight and place
For me carrying a weapon gives me this very serious sense of responsibility to de-escalate at all costs so I can’t relate with the feeling of power. I know that if I escalate and it leads to a conflict that the courts will destroy me. Another option is to carry a non lethal type of weapon like pepper spray tho.
Me first. Thank you. Greetings from Berlin Germany
Another video from you so soon.
Want to avoid fights? Carry a gun. You'll think twice before physically engaging someone.
I get more anxious when i have a weapon. Because I'm more afraid to hurt someone than to get hurt myself.
This is all nice in theory but if you have CPTS(D) controlling your reactions can be almost impossible. I was sexually assaulted when I was around 20(blocked the memory for years), and even into my late 20s I could not tolerate any slight objectification, I went through mild sexual harassment at 3 corporate jobs (2 of them just verbal, one actually laid his hands on me), and I made a formal complaint to HR each time. I won't give examples of the stuff I went through but let's just say they were clear cases of (sexual) harassment, and each time went on repeatedly for months, with me trying various non-aggressive ways to end it, making it damn near impossible to focus on my work, because my brain was all over the place and triggered(and I really depended on those jobs to survive). I knew each time that once I made a formal complaint I would start the timer on how long I could last on the job in question(and be the target of narcissistic abuse at the office, where all the men side with each other here out of principle), but putting up with it was excruciatingly painful, so I made formal complaints to get those specimens in question to leave me alone-which they did. I managed to last just long enough at those jobs to save enough money to live off of until I got the next job. No regrets. I have since gone through EMDR plus lockdowns since 2020 have been great on my nerves, no longer having to deal with the gross levels of chauvinism I witnessed at work on a regular basis(I live in East Europe, and sexism is much worse here than in the West, imo) because home office.
Sorry to hear that. Hope you are better now
"Getting even from past hurts", if we understand this, we won't take it personal.
That guy was right! U r totally sweet! Even when u get animated and yr voice goes into that 3rd octave! Nice vid Dan! Many hugs!
👏👏
Interesting. 10 years of shaolin martial arts with fluent spoken mandarin Chinese, I realised my best weapon 🔫 of defence is my passive personality and understanding of stupid people and of the law ⚖. I know I could take down 7 men with 4 kicks and 3 blows. But I also know putting someone in hospital will certainly bear legal consequences against me therefore is it really worth it? And do I really want to see someone's family suffering because I left them brain 🧠 dead ☠? No. But I've had once been forced beyond my boundary and I gave this guy a painful warning kick to prove him I'm willing to shake hands or unleash my inner dragons if he doesn't turn it off now and it worked! He backed off. The irony is fighting can be a beautiful and honourable thing if your life or the honour of your country depends on it or if it is to save someone else being attacked in the street but you need to be really good and that's why everyone needs to learn self defense especially women - only act within the law, I repeat, the law. Martial arts teaches you to respect your opponent and you do that by backing off when he can longer fight back. If you have to, then you should never fight with anger and be willing to forgive your opponent. If you recognise you are at fault or have caused the provocation, then you're not honoured to fight. In that case, fighting will be dishonourable and immoral and having breeched martial law will get you arrested as well. It's about common sense. Apologise when you're wrong, behave like a civilised gentleman and no one will want to insult you. Dress moderately serves the of presenting zen low profile and yes, good old running you don't wanna showcase your wealth and display your valuables, don't go attention seeking and be an obnoxious and arrogant person. All these things are kews which will trigger someone else wanting to attack you.
🙏💗🕊
Good on ya, LOL You are a rare kind, and find.
46 ....I’m surprised x
A better number one rule, is to have a weapon. There are plenty that can be legally carried..
Hi Daniel, this is an interesting video. I just noticed something : I have the impression that all that fights thing is quite american. I am not sure of it, but I have recently watched a video about a woman talking the way she felt when she returned to the USA after a 2 years trip in Europe. And she talked a lot about the continuous fear there is in America. (here is the video : th-cam.com/video/5M1Crar5akI/w-d-xo.html). I am french, and all that stuff are quite weird to me and seems like obsession. I mean, I am not naive, of course something can happen, I can be assaulted or anything. And it did happen, but it is not something that is in my mind regularly, even if I am a woman. I am careful, but I have very rarely see a real fight in front of me. Plus, here we don't have all that things about guns. I have studied that a little to understand why america is so obsessed with guns and for how long.
Anyway, this is a very interesting subject and I think also that it shows how people are hungry within themselves and need to express that and unwind what they feel. Unfortunately, most of the people are not aware that is possible to do it, feel and heal without to hurt anyone.
I do think the best weapon is to talk, and when it is not possible, to simply run away.
This may be a bit too late but the probable reason why Americans are so obsessed with guns, violence and self defense is because of their historical background. America was basically founded from violence, trickery and murder of the original inhabitants of the continent. And their fear of getting the same treatment by another was encoded into their collective consciousness.
You're not 46. Get out of here.
I was also shocked, that said I am 42 and look much younger - its a blessing and a curse.
Drunk people won't use your advice :)
Daniel, are you currently dating anyone?
you are *cute* . as if only fights happen because of insults.
more interesting would have been when people come up to you and directly threaten you physically in a land were weapons are forbidden and their main issue to attack you would rather be that you have little self respect that you do not assert yourself and their main deal is who has the bigger balls and bigger muscles. imo pointless advice in this case. for your cases maybe worthwhile.