I was bartender/bouncer at a pretty rough dive bar for 22 years. This video has some good advice. The looking back at them with the " dead soulless eyes" trick worked for me many times, because when one of these weak men stare at you with "bad intentions", the last thing they want is to have mistakenly picked a victim that is WAY crazier than they are.
Agreed! In my case I would add, that at some point in my life I decided I’m not afraid to die! This has helped me to be afraid of confrontations, but not give in to my fear! Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want be tortured or brain damaged!
that comes with experience. I'm a bouncer and I do that to. I don't talk much I look deep into your eyes and make you scream and when you run out of words what are you going to do? you wanted to be tough your words are finished and now? That person is going to think I'm screaming but this bouncer just looks right through me. Trust me trust me you broke them and they walk away
I was told the stare at the eyebrows trick from an older bouncer where I worked as a much younger man - he told me it gives them the impression that they're staring at a shark or a leopard seal (he was Polynesian), something that wouldn't think twice about eating them. After all these years, I can say it works pretty well.
I was a bouncer, downtown Minneapolis for 10 years. Usually when I see videos like these, I click on them for a good laugh. This guy is spot-on. I can’t disagree with anything he said. Especially at the end. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how tough you are, a fight avoided is a fight won.
When I was a kid, I never realised what my dad was doing when he would ask me, without looking, to describe a room we'd walked into and the people in it. He never actually did explain it to me, but, as I've gotten older, I reckon he was teaching me to develop my situational awareness. It's been an invaluable tool to me over the years and I hope to play the same game with my son as he grows up.
It happened to me. The guy had a knife. I never took my eyes off of him. He was very dangerous. But, he also realized that, I did not back down. Believe me, I was very scared, but I did not show it. I grabbed his arm.
I live in NW DC i grew up always watching surroundings car that drive by if window up kool if window down stay on sidewalk opposite of window always checking folks facial expressions, watching there hands if I can’t see them and I know there atension is on me em ready DTA DONT TRUST ANYBODY
He taught you well mate, situational awareness is the no1 best strategy. I clock everyone around me and when I get a starer I look back and give them a "knowing smile". Another thing I do is I don't slouch when I'm around people, to a mugger/attacker a hunched posture signals a potential victim bur having your head up and level signals confidence. A few simple behavioural techniques makes you get noted as the head member of the "who needs to deal with that" club in the minds of wotless little pricks.
I’ve been training for 40 years. And EVERYTHING you said here is spot on. One night my wife accidentally bumped into a pregnant women in a bar. They got hot immediately. There were 15 of them, and just me. I jumped in, apologized and offered to buy a round for our mistake. I got everyone’s order and told my wife to wait by the door, I walked to the bar pretending I was ordering drinks. I told the bartender what happened. I waved to the group, gave them a thumbs up, then we left quickly before they had a chance to figure out what was going on. We were probably 5 miles out of town in our car before they realized what happened.
@Joe Public - spot on? No. And I'm basing that on living and working in over 20 countries (whole EU, including UK now, Singapore, Hong Kong, LA, NY, Alaska, Hawaii, Canada, Australia, Japan... bla, bla, bla). More often that not - all of this will get you killed with a lot of people, and I'm more than happy to write more based on my experience with people (as a former military man with also a psychology degree, and computer science one, and quite good with combat skills including tools - but even I would not advise that as a "general advice"; it is not the training as such, but people who you fighting with and their mental approach and attitude as some of them will simply try to kill you just because or even bite part of your face off: nose, lips, cheek, take your eyes out, crush your throat... usual crap, or will be under influence of heavy drugs, some psychopats, or even average looking members of organized crime organization: some eastern europeans, mexicans, or even specific cities like Caracas or Naples (hell even LA and NY), or people who simply don't care at all if you live or die, and so on) - I just don't want to repeat all of that writing with each post like that, or youtube videos. But in the current world, I would have to disagree with you on that (that the advice is somehow "spot on" - as in a lot of cases some of them will simply get you killed, or just escalate the issue. Like some people mentioned: eye contact, souless one? Really? In this age... there will be a lot of people that will simply try to destroy you just for that, without any reason, or in best case put you in a hospital, and they wont care at all if you live or die, or if they go to prison or not). Edit: grammar, formatting of text, spelling...
I know of a guy who almost died, because he called somebody names, who waited over 4 hours to attack him from behind, when that guy was alone. Don't call people names, but do expect them to do everything to stab you in the back.
heres a trick i used many times leaving motorcycle club houses bars etc ...for 5 or 10 min before you actually leave close one of your eyes so no light gets in ..then when you leave and go outside where usually its dark open that eye and you can see with it like a fkn wolf as the pupil has dilated large to let in the light and you can see better with that eye in the dark if worried about such
My dad was a war vet, and he's been a child through various wars as well. He always told my brothers and I not to fight. He also told us to avoid bad people, places, and things.
Mine also fought in a horrific war, and also told me never to fight. However, when I asked him why not, he simply responded: "Because nothing is worth taking someone's life." Unfortunately, it took me over a decade to realize that he was so traumatized by the war that fighting and killing were one and the same to him.
Interesting. My grandfather was in WW2. He taught his sons and I his grandson to fight. He also taught me to never get flanked. He taught me to always wear a belt as a tool against weapons. He also said don't hangout when the sun goes down. He taught me to shoot guns. Throw spears and knives. He also taught me build shelter from the elements. Also taught me how to read and do math.
I, 5'3", female, lived in the SF Tenderloin for just under 10 years. I never had a problem on the streets no matter what the hour. I made a very specific point of glancing into every darkened doorway and meeting the eyes of every single person I passed. I made it clear with a glance and a quick nod that I saw them, I was aware of them and I was not particularly afraid. Most predators rely on surprise, the second you have met their eyes they have lost all invisibility, all element of surprise.
If you are saying that you were actually walking around a rough area at night, alone, then you are simply lucky. I live near Baltimore and have known a few tough girls who grew up in the city. All of them have been mugged and S/A at some point, usually more than once.
@@johnwilson2487 Good point. Similar situation. 5'5" 105lb female (at that time. Not much bigger now). except I was knowingly and intentionally inserting myself into danger for several reasons. I did get jumped a couple of times by gang members because I walked from one "gang territory" to another without fear. I had no other choice. I did not have a DL or car at the time and it was my only way to take public transportation to get to school. But after word got out that I was not an easy target people left me alone. I had to do things to make them think I was crazier than average so that reputation followed me too growing up in the S side of Chicago. Developing situational awareness and learning how to pay attention to my instincts kept me alive. I wasn't a trained fighter then and I also didn't have experience with weapons as I do now either.
SF Tenderloin?... I've walked all those streets at night,... ALONE!... Mostly drug addicts, homeless, and prostitutes. ... They all tend to mind their own business, and leave you alone,... so long as you let them know that you're not a threat to them, AND you're not about to become a victim!... Now,... south-east Oakland,... you'll get attacked just because you're wearing better shoes than them!..
@@johnwilson2487... Yup,... that's usually how it happens!... It's a "numbers" game. ... Like my dad used to say, " If you spend enough time swimming around in a toilet bowl,... sooner or later, you're gonna run into some shit!".
Yes, there you go right there. As I aged, I found that I didn't have to be in the middle of everything. Then I lost the desire for alcohol altogether. Life has been simple ever since. But that does not stop me from carrying a pistol as I live in Missouri. We are a free state in that regard.
I got bullied a lot at school and then got into martial arts: judo, karate, boxing. The confidence and calmness it gives you means that you don't even need to use it. And the physical conditioning gave me so many health benefits. Especially the boxing. And the friendships I made on the way were great, they were based on mutual respect.
I kicked the school bully in the nuts and made him cry. That solved my bullying problems for all of high school. Sadly I became a bit of a bully myself, regrets.
Exactly. I was a boxer and a bouncer and also had my share of street fights. You can tell immediately if somebody is a trained fighter first by the calm way they stand and look at you like "oh, this will be fun". And then if things escalate, the pose they take before the first punch is thrown. If one guy is all beating his chest and gesturing and the other puts one foot in front of the other, shoulder width apart, hands up in front of his face in fists, the first guy is doomed.
Great advice. In these situations I prefer to calmly ask 2 questions while staring back. 1) "Are you OK bro?" 2) "What exactly are we doing here"? This has saved me multiple times from sucker punches, escalation and helped the other person understand that I was in control. It rarely came to fists after that (only with drunk people).
Number one is my absolute favorite and seriously has worked everytime, just like you said. By doing this you shift the ENTIRE energy from being on you to being on them. Now everyone's staring at your aggressor like 'yeah, what is wrong with this guy?' . Suddenly it feels like 20 against 1 to them. You achieve dominance quick like this, because it implies that they have something wrong with them, and that can be embarrassing.
@@itsrtvbaby for me, the second question enforces the lunacy of the situation based upon the first question. Fighting today is not like 20 years ago- the variables have changed a lot.
@@Honkiavellii agree that fighting has changed from 20 years ago and i think it’s because of security cameras, iphone cameras, and how easy it is to end up in jail even if you were just defending yourself. Way i see it if you end up in jail even i you beat the big bad bully up, you still lost big time because jail fucking sucks and now maybe you have a criminal record for assault or something. These are great things to say. I would say something similar like “do you need HELP?” It makes them look inferior and weak
The "cool walk away until around a corner then escape" trick has came in handy a few times. Whether you think you can take him or not, a knife is too easy to conceal and not too rare these days.
Yes, when my brother was 13 he was reading a martial arts book on how to street fight. On the page that mentioned your opponent pulling out a knife the author said, "If he pulls out a knife I run. I'm an expert in martial arts, but a knife can kill you. I'm not taking any chances."
My brother's friend was suckerpunched once at a party by a dude trying to impress some losers. He was k.o.'d and the dude left. But the next day he started to look for the dude until he found him and beat him up, he repeated that a couple of times when he saw the dude on the street and told him he was gonna keep doing it whenever he saw him. The dude ended avoiding going out anymore for months before asking for forgiveness.
I was bullied a lot as a youngster, then later began boxing and karate And something I learned is that someone coming close to you and staring you down is actually a rather simple situation to deal with (I don't mean it's easy in reality, because there are emotions involved, adrenaline dumps to deal with, etc.) but in general the situation isn't complicated. My general rule for these situations in this: 1. If I can leave, I leave. 2. If they've invaded my personal space and are so close to me that I can hit them, I hit them. 3. If they're outside of my range but are still close to me, I throw up "the fence" (putting my arms out in front of me, telling them to stay back and that I don't want any trouble or problems), and if they come closer or touch my hands/arms at all, I hit them.
Problem is the average person hasn't thought and planned for such a situation. I grew up in care and jail. Raise your voice and be aggressive in my face and you're going to sleep. Simple rules for fools 😂
@@snoo333 I've been bullied until I learned boxing. And I always practiced karate. So the answer for me is boxing. Even better: MMA. Which consoder kicks and ground fighting
The only thing wrong is letting them close enough to touch your hands before action, they have already broke distance and your action is to late, unless you get lucky and it is some mutt.
@snoo333 I was bullied since I was 6 years old. I was doing self-defense judo and flip anyone over my hip or shoulder, since I was around 11 years old. Then I became very efficient at wrestling around 15 years old. In 1974 I joined Beaver Boxing Club, Harry Villeneuve's Karate and Kickboxing Studio and the Ottawa Athletic Club. I was doing 2 to 4 hours exercise daily. I gained more and more confidence. To the point where several bullies avoided me. I also was learning Shaolin Kung Fu, Muay Tai Kickboxing, Jeet Kun Do, etc. I am 65 years old and can still withstand full body punches and kicks. Unless I get struck in the liver. Most people can't take a hard liver strike which can be very dangerous. I recommend him learning Judo, Jiu Jitsu, wrestling, weight training and doing skipping to develop a strong core and back. Also developing an internal force through Iron Wire Breathing and doing Zen Meditation to develop a one pointed concentration. Muay Thai is a combat sport. Known as 'the art of eight limbs', it's a discipline that uses knees, elbows, fists, and shins, alongside clinching and sweeping techniques. Muay Thai has a broader range of movements and attacks than other close combat sports. I developed the confidence and I also usually rely on my intuition and innate wisdom to avoid confrontations. I did full contact boxing and Karate. There is an increase in chances of being injured. I broke my nose twice. If he trains smart and learns how to move well, fast, using feints, bobbing and weaving, using angles and incorporating many techniques and styles to avoid being hit in the head or weaker areas like the liver, solar plexus, kidneys, throat, eyes, groin, etc.
Not a taxi driver, but even as a Canadian I wouldn't want to do that unless I was carrying a pistol even if I worked day shifts! People are porked! Seriously, being a cab driver has to be one of the more dangerous jobs, especially when your fare is high on heavy drugs like meth and somehow magically forgot to bring any money.
When I was in high school I caught a glimpse of someone staring at me out of the corner of my eye. Turns out he was the boyfriend of a girl I was into. Once I figured out what was happening, I realized that my instincts were telling me that danger could be present. Years later I worked as bartender, and did so for over a decade. I can confidently say that when danger is present, our instincts tell us as much. I learned to trust them and it has served me well. Good video.
Someone whom I know that worked in special forces told me - just walk away but acknowledge their presence. 100% of the time if it not worth it. This video confirms his advice to me! Thanks for sharing!
It's been my belief for decades that if you've got the opportunity to back out, then take it. Just never turn a back to them and if you can't back out, then fight dirty, and I mean dirty. That's the time when a sucker punch to the balls is fair game, same for any bit of sand you can get into their eyes. If you've got a flashlight, and it's dark, definitely use it to blind them as well. Because believe me that the other side cannot be trusted to not cheat as bad, or worse. This is also why I tend to be fake drunk at bars on the rare case where I go. The moment I straighten myself up and it becomes clear that only one of us is drunk, it tends to open up opportunites for just letting it go. If any of that seems unreasonable in light of the current situation, then you don't really have to fight it's a choice that you're making. One of the issues that comes from these situations is that the courts are never actually there and evaluating things based on the information that's available to the people at the time.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade my philosophy exactly. I'll do whatever I can (within reason) to avoid a physical confrontation just for the reason you stated, as in I have no idea what they will do or how far they will go and there are zero rules, regulations, or referees to stop them....with that in mind if they are utterly determined to incite violence then i can, with a clear conscience, go no holds barred and I will use any tactic within my means to disable them. To me, there is no such thing as fighting dirty when you have no knowledge of the other person and literally anything, even by accident, can end your life. It's all or nothing when "backed into a corner".
You can't be always aware of situation you are in. Most of the time I am just in my head thinking my own thoughts don't give 2 shits about what is around me.
When I was 13, my dad told me, “if someone stares at you or mean mugs you, look away. What? You think lasers are going to shoot out of your eyes if you stare back? It’s not about what people say or how hard they stare at you, it’s about what people do that matters. Then, you fight.” My father taught me how to box, him being a boxer himself. 15 years later, I’m now training my son.
I always look away from a stare, but it's like I commented somewhere else, I want to be ready for the violence I know is coming. If you're in a staring contest with someone you can get tunnel vision and not see a punch or kick coming. Best to look down slightly, at the chin or chest, and open up your awareness, and get yourself balanced and ready to fight.
Great advice. Thank you. Stand your ground but don't be agressive. Prepare for a violent response, but don't initiate. And if you aren't prepared, consider self defence training. And avoid any negative interaction if possible. De-escalation is so important. Don't bite. Keep calm. Often it's down to Psychology. I spent many years in Psychiactric units were you had to stand your ground. Calmly but with resolute purpose (because your life sometimes depended on it). Have fleeting eye contact. But don''t back down. That can be perceived as weakness. I have used the 'Psychiactric stare' many times 🤣And find a way to get out of the situation if possible. Usually it's where is the escape route, because sometimes people are just set on violence. If you can de-escalate all the better. If you can find an exit... take it. If you can't, well, last resort .... prepare to defend yourself. We are really quite primitive creatures really. We haven't evolved that much.
As an Iraq/Afghanistan war vet I can still when needed affect the 1000-yard stare, this blank, heartless look has helped me avoid having to cause harm to people who have singled me out for bad intent. Another key to avoiding violence is maintaining calm, a bully is looking for fear and panic. If he does not elicit the response he seeks he will more likely walk away rather than risk attacking somebody with superior skill and/or experience. This may not work if the person is crazy, blackout drunk, or on drugs as they are not using their brain anyway. Then your best bet becomes the doctrine of rapid dominance. Overwhelming force to the weakest point of the body you can reach. The eyes, the throat, the testicles, and the knee are always the best points of attack to rapidly eliminate a threat. It is not a gun that kills, it is a hard heart that kills. The same goes for the use of violence in personal defense. If a person is willing to use overwhelming force to defend themselves, that person becomes far less likely to become a target.
No you act strange around people ,almost God like ego because you served in military. Sense of dominance. I think you war vets are nutters, and don't like that kinda people anywhere near me.
Hey Daniel, just because you were duped into fighting in 2 bogus wars, doesn't me you can whoop anybody who talks smack to you. The ego you military vets have is ridiculous. Get over yourself and stop acting strange towards people. I'm the guy that could take your ego down a peg or 3. And I'm not stupid enough to join the military. I'm a militia man, not a "get some" war mongrel like you.
This is valuable and very true. Spent most of my 20s doing mma. Never got in to a street fight. No harm in walking away.... for me personally i have nothing to prove. I have found most people who start street fights have no clue on how to fight anyway
You don't need to know how to fight or be fighting a trained MMA fighter for your ticket to be punched. More likely to die from TBI from an Untrained fighter as opposed to a trained one. So, your last point is of zero comfort or relevance to people who may find themselves in confrontation. All it takes is your brain to jiggle in the right way.
True. However, I'd like to poin out "most". Some, maybe a few combine martial arts with a street practice. In my 20s I met a leader of the gang who appeared to be a karete kid too. We were 4 guys and one lady, they were 4 guys. The first in our comaoney who was ignoring him got an immediate punch in the face - the easiest victim. A friend of mine threw some kicks on him but it was a draw. A gas pistol did not work. We were being thrown with stones, they luckily landed smashing and scratching cars. They were about 7. At the end we ran into a casino and called a taxi, but in that hood more than 10, 40 year olds showed up. Luckilly, we escaped. But they I sensed that they had no fear and it could have ended with somebody walking up in the intense care if at all. To sum it up, it is unethical to coach somebody in martial arts who can't control his impulses, but the master cannot always be aware how dark the soul is.
Good advice. From lots of street fighting experience, I can promise you that there are people out there that are literally looking for any excuse to fight. That's their goal for the night - to beat somebody up. Doesn't matter who it is. Naive people think just because they aren't doing anything aggressive, they are safe in a crowd or out on the street. So when somebody gets in your face for no reason, don't think you can argue your way out of it. There is no reason and you've just been "chosen". So stand tall, say things like "hey man, I don't have any beef with you. I'm cool. No problem. Just want to get home and get out of your way." And then also do everything this guy ^^^ said. Maintain eye contact so they can't surprise you, slowly walk away, and keep an eye on him and especially all his buddies. They'll hit you too. If they are mean enough to start a fight in the street with a rando, they are dangerous as heck, have tons of fighting experience (they do this nightly or weekly) and you will. not. win. You'll wake up in the hospital if you're lucky.
Mate of mine had this happen at a pub, the antagonist was thrown out and they were waiting for him in that crowd outside. He had no idea why or who they were... anyway as he left he took a mouth full of water and as he left out his hand over his mouth spitting little bits of water through his fingers like he was about to vomit everywhere. They darted out of the way and he kept going jumping into a cab and riding off before they could do a thing.
@@usaman7358 I don't think he make it up at all, it wasn't his first rodeo (he's been targeted before) and he's not the kind of guy to make stories up... Also he's not a pretentious tosser who goes onto other people's posts and accuses them of this either.
Maybe at one time in specific places, but that's not possible today because of the widespread prevalence of the belligerence-as-virtue movement, a.k.a. ASPD.
@@devilsoffspring5519"Belligerence-as-virtue". Solid line, especially with the tie-in to Anti-Social psychopathology. Lasch's _Culture Of Narcissism_ has more than come to pass; it's at its fullest flower, and Caligula's circus is alive and well in the cognitive plague vectors that are social media. As the line goes, "Humans are chimps with car keys."
Yesss,,, you got THAT right about how one should "NOT do stupid",, or "go to Stupid places at Stupid times" or "do Stupid stuff" (if U care about staying OUT of danger). Example of personal lesson learned almost the hard way as all this happened (geeesh) almost 13 years ago. Anyway,, a Friday evening, 1st week of May,,, 2011. I was living and working just outside Barstow, Calif. For the hell of it, I decided to (blindly) drop into a bar,, I had never visited before and knew nothing about. Me being a naive youngster, I strolled on in (and ALONE). Almost immediately,, one of the local patrons (realizing I was a newcomer) took a bar seat right next to me and started more or less intimidating me. He was a husky,, stocky (biker-type) looking Hispanic guy. He asked me "what in the hell I was doing inside a bar like that,, not knowing anyone and all by myself". I sort of brushed him off with my response. At that moment,, he put his hand on my shoulder and said: "OK bud,, listen up. You know,, and I know,, that you do not belong in here. NO one in here knows you. Good question as to why you would drop in here anyway. I will give you about 20 minutes to finish your beer,, then you need to get your butt OUT of here. You really SHOULD do that if you don't want to end up getting hurt by someone in here." That said,, I TOOK his advice, finished my beer,, i paid the bartender,, then I hightailed it OUT of there.
I'm currently a security guard, overnight in DTLA, near skid row. I have to say this is all perfectly perfectly precisely spot on. Your verbal skills are tremendously useful for de-escalation as well. Be cool, speak casually.
@@MaloneysDigest Haha, nice! As my late brother would say, "As an Irishman I'm allergic to whiskey; it makes my knuckles bloody." 😏 That said, let me tell you an Irish joke: There's this Irishman, and he walks past a bar -- hey, it can happen! 😜
I hope you keep a rocket in your pocket just in case. Some maggots won't respond to an attempt at deescalation. That is when you need your pocket rocket.
Situational awareness, as mentioned in the video, is crucial. I always scan my environment and look for any potential threats and watch them. If appropriate, I'll acknowledge them with a smile and downward nod. And by all means don't be afraid to retreat from the situation if you feel it's getting too hot. For me, if the other guy tries to escalate into a staring war then that's my cue to look for ways to retreat. As I got older I have learned that there is no shame in retreat if it means being spared from getting into an ego fight.
All great points. I agree that it's easy to say "Don't get pulled into a conflict," but it fails to acknowledge that at any time you can be FORCED into a scuffle or worse. One key element that I have learned (with physical as well as non physical confrontation, and especially for men) is to priority the long term effects of your decision re your attitude and actions. Don't simply default to the safe way out of each such encounter, but consider how you will feel about yourself afterward. BTW, I'm not including a scenario where you are out numbered, out gunned, et cetera and the obvious choice is to run and escape with your life. I am talking about a scenario where you need to stand up for yourself or display so level of opposition, even if it costs you something. Why? Because you will feel like you reacted in a weak and timid way in the face of intimidation, and this will haunt you. From then on, you will feel this every time you recall the incident and will come to realize this unpleasant memory is much worse than a potential busted lip or torn clothes that you might have suffered had you stood up for yourself. And if you allow this to happen repeatedly, it will begin to eat away at your soul. Depending of the situation, making direct, brief eye contact with someone who is mad-dogging you (as you described) can be enough to satisfy what I am talking about, versus cowering and behaving like prey. This philosophical principle is applicable to countless life situations. I like to phrase it like this; "Don't do what's convenient at the moment, but what you can live with."
Yeah. I don’t drink alcohol or go to clubs or stay out after dark. But shit can happen in broad day light. Generally I just don’t go around the slums. Sucks for people that live in those places and large cities
I've been a student of mixed martial arts for probably 25 years or so so I'm pretty confident in my skill set to protect myself and my family. I think all you need is a strong mind. And be able to actually speak to people in a de-escalating manner. But people do have a tendency to stare. I just smile back when they stare me a little too long and then they smile. A little smile goes a long way lol.
I had the same experience too. I was taking photos in a street in a foreign country. There was a guy across the road staring sharply at me. I just smiled and lifted my head as if to say 'hi', his sharp look instantly eased, he smiled back and lifted up the cup of tea he was drinking too great me back.
This is the most important thing you said: "be able to actually speak to people in a de-escalating manner." I'm not into MMA, but I am naturally strong. It's genetics. I'm not tall, but I am heavy. In high school, I could climb the rope hand over hand without using my feet. I'm also a nerd. There were bullies at my high school, but they left me alone. There was one incident when a girl in the disabled class asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance on our walk to P.E. A fat guy saw it and ran ahead to tell everyone so they could laugh at me. He wasn't a bad person, he was just trying to fit in. Anyway, when I got to class all of the boys were laughing at me. I went straight to the fat guy who started it and grabbed his throat and pushed him. He got amped up and said I had angered him and he wouldn't stop. The boys wanted a fight, but they didn't get it. I said, "She's a human being. I'm sorry that you don't understand that." He immediately melted. All he could say was, "I'm sorry." I was angry, but I didn't want to fight. I wanted him to understand that he was wrong and I wanted him to feel it.
As someone who's worked in bars & clubs for 35 years now, I can honestly say without hesitation that clubs, bars, and their relative precincts are dangerous places after-dark, and especially after midnight. You might not be able to always avoid trouble during the day, but being in bars/clubs/entertainment-precincts after-dark greatly increases your chances of encountering trouble, because inebriated people have lower inhibitions are more easily provoked
You can almost always smell and feel trouble when you walk into a room long before it happens. The mistake is trying to discount your unease and play it off as nerves. It's your body telling you exactly what's about to happen. Listen to that voice. Yes, sometimes trouble just appears with no warning but more often you smell it in the air long before it goes down.
This video works! I was confronted on the street by one of these crazies. He followed me on a motorcycle after I made a right turn on red. I saw him leave his lane, turn after to follow me. I pulled my car off (100 yards) at my destination and saw him pull to a stop behind my car. I exited my vehicle, in a normal manner, and turned to him letting him know I was aware of the situation. He screams through his helmet "That was not a turn lane!" I answered back "You're right!" He repeats his scream. I tell him he is right - what do you want me to do about it now. He bolts off his bike and gets right in front of me. He is wearing a full face helmet, (never did really see into his eyes clearly) leather vest (with a patch that says "White Trash.") He is a full head taller than me and 30 years younger than me. In this situation he was armored up and I was a soft target wearing my teacher work clothes. I stood my ground by my car. Here is the crazy part he yells that I intimidated him by the way I got out of my car! I see him glancing at the stickers on my car (US Army, An M1 tank that says come and take it). He hesitates. Screams again that it was not a turn lane. I go "Yea I know what do you want me to do about it now?" I really wanted to go off, thought of my wife, but kept emotionless and direct. He paused seeming at a loss for words. He looks down at me and says "I want you to shut the f@#! up and go about your business." I silently counted to 3 and calmly and slowly then said "I will go about my business." I was not going to let some bozo tell me to shut up. I turned my back on him - storefront glass was my mirror - and walked into the store. He remained frozen out there for thirty seconds or so almost appearing to tremble. Got on his bike and drove off. I was rattled, but don't think it showed, and it easily could have ended really bad for me. The guy would have cleaned my clock! These fight situations are so dicey. Another point - nobody in the area would have come to help me out. It was 4 in the afternoon. Normally I would have been armed but work in a different state from home, and employment will not allow me to bring it on their property.
I got bullied ruthlessly when I was a kid. I had to fight. Eventually started winning. I hate fighting, I just happen to be really damn good at it. I have zero tolerance for bullies. Of course my head is a lot cooler nowadays. Cheers
You know I believe that we wouldn't see nearly as much bullying if anti-bullying classroom material were emphasized as much as useless bullshit like the rote memorization of trigonometric formulas or the intricacies of the Sumarian culture. If anti-bullying was actually taught as a class, society wouldn't be as fucked up as it is. what do you think?
@@WolframtheBlessed3499 Nah, it would still be the same! Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths are real, no amount of "training" is going to stop who they are on the inside! Train to protect yourself and your family, because one day you will have to!!
i farted the other day, and it was infinitely more meaningful than a bunch of insecure "men" exchanging stories about what "works" on other "men" what is everyone, FIVE YEARS OLD???!?!?!?!?!?!
One thing I would add when using situational awareness when dealing with someone that means to sucker punch you is to make sure use all your senses. Use your hearing to listen for quick movements, especially if they're moving quickly up behind you to throw the punch. Same with feeling the ground. Running comes with heavier footfalls. Using vision is absolutely important and I agree completely with this video so train with an wholistic approach which will make your proprioception even greater.
I have came across guys that are confident with there mates but not confident alone, to a degree there just posers but still make space and look civil but confident, never portray a victim.
Used to experience this a lot growing up in the UK. Then I moved to Sweden 12 years ago and not had one single encounter. Too many aggressive drunken pointless societies out there. I'm glad I found peace and respect.
When I left the military situational awareness was automatic my head was always on a swivel accessing threat level and exits . Now as an old man I have changed like I thought I would but the exit is my preferred option, never argue about anything with strangers.
It's taken me a while to realize that this is the best strategy, escape and evasion are legitimate military tactics. It's considerate too- they don't want to go to the hospital, I don't want to go to court or prison. Both of us win.
Good advice! A couple of decades ago I rode a bus in SF with my wife and baby son, and an angry guy complained to me that I should speak English (though my wife and I speak English very well, we like to converse in Japanese and Dutch, our respective native languages). We got off at the next stop. It is just not worth the risk of injury or worse to my family.
@@SurfinScientist in El Paso, Texas, some people will demand we (non-Spanish speakers) speak Spanish. And when I try, they don't hesitate to laugh in my face. Go figure.
This is such important information, my Dad always taught me to flat out ignore people like this and like you said it can actually infuriate them. I have personally noticed the difference from when I avoid eye contact compared to when I give them a good solid look (but not a long stare) is usually enough to make them feel like you're no pushover. It's a tricky balance, because you don't want to start fights but at the same time don't give off the message you're an easy target.
There's a 3rd option to play in the city. The wildcard. Look around aimlessly with eyes wide open and visibly mumbling to yourself until you work your way out the area. Assholes tend to avoid unpredictable wildcards and move on unless you engage. You're probably not a threat to their ego and you might be insane.
Be very careful taking advice from people like this guy.. If your not ready to fight or die avoid eye contact. Some bad people just needs an excuse to hurt someone, it could be simple as making an eye contact. If you want to avoid trouble the best way is to leave.. and if you cant leave .. always hit first.. most of the time it will mess up the other persons confidents and you have a better chance of surviving. Always avoid getting hit first , because one punch can change everything , meaning life or death.. If your k.oed they can do what ever they want to u and you are Fck.
What situations you guys go to to need all this defence knowledge lmao I never had any such issues just always ignored people I was not interested in and never had trouble. Why would you look some crazy in the eye? Makes no sense to me.
You are extremely lucky to have never encountered these kinds of situations throughout your life. - or you come from a place where there isn’t a lot of violent crime etc. - all assumptions aside, the world is a cruel and callous place, kids get bullied and beaten up at school for being soft and quiet, people get mugged, stabbed, beaten, and murdered everyday, many at random and people that look like “an easy target”… It is of the upmost importance for anyone to learn how to physically defend themselves. It is a vital skill, which might just save your life one day as it has mine and many others on more than one occasion.
I was down at a local pub the day after a local footy team (Aussie rules football AFL) played an interstate team. There was a group of out of towners drinking near me and my missus. One was a Maori fella with the face tats and looked mean enough. He's staring over at me for a while I was wearing sunnies and looked slightly away from his stare but was watching him. I told the missus that bother may be on the way then he got up and walked over, I said to my missus, here we go, he comes up introduced himself and just wanted to talk about and meet my 5 kg Jack Russell bitch i have sitting on my lap. He's got 3 of them and said mine was a beauty and he can't wait to get back home to his dogs. Ya gotta be careful and not assume, if it was some other dude I probably wouldn't have worried about the situation
This sounds so Australian.. I met an Aussie in Munich at Octoberfest and he was travelling alone...He sat with us at our table in the Hofbrau Haus and he was the funniest most coolest guy...I hope he is well wherever he may be
we are all the same Ive lived and experienced this my whole life what you described is my full time reality ... i limit contact the older i get thats been the only remedy of sorts or a good bottle of jacks lmao ...perth side out
Situational awareness combined with quick instinct will keep you alive for another day. I've avoided so many bad situations by making that eye contact and a quick head nod down and up and just continuing on my way. My dad use to tell me "if you get in a ifght, you're going to get hit." and "there's no such thing as a fair fight.". I particularly like not getting hit or stabbed and so in the few seconds you have to react to a stare, go with your instinct but always be prepared for anything. The reflections in the environment is a priceless tool. 36t0 degree view with a few glances while pumping gas, ATM, etc.
I haven't been a fight in many years at this point. Part of it is because I'm about the size of Mike Tyson and I can put most adults down with one blow. But, a large part of it is avoiding being places where I can't just back down or avoid the problem to begin with. Your Dad would probably like my Dad. He spent several years in the USMC and advised me to leave a brick at the backdoor of a bar in case I needed it and then be the last one out the door if there was going to be a fight. It took me a while to understand that he was saying to be prepared ahead of time if I was going to have a barroom scrap and that the other side couldn't be counted on to fight fair, I just needed to be prepared to end it before they could. Personally, I haven't needed to use the advice, but I do make every effort to have the situational awareness to avoid being in that spot, but if I do get in a scrape, I will fight as dirty as I can because if it's not important enough to cheat at, then it's not a fight that I have to be in/win in the first place.
Interesting tips. It is a difficult situation to be in. The key is to recognize your situation and get mentally ready to protect yourself if necessary. Fight or flight. Usually, its one or the other. Best to get away from the situation if possible. If not, good luck.
Good video, as always. I work at a Sheriff's Office County Jail and a CPI instructor. What I do when someone is staring at me is mostly the head nod downward, and that tends to work. When it's a very serious stare, I stare back then stare at their feet for 5-10 seconds, and that throws them off completely!
Great stuff! I also have experienced that if you don't look back and make some acknowledgement, they can also take it as being disrespected, which can also set things off.
The problem usually is that men don’t just stare, they impose their will upon you, I.E. force you to move with their body wether they are real or trying to act tough! I don’t accept that and I put my arm up or both arms to go ahead and force them to either take a step back or put up or shut up, because at any moment they can attack and once your on the ground it can be very hard to get back up! I’m no Superman, but after being jumped twice in my life, I vowed their would never be a third!
Interesting. It gives the impression that you are formulating a plan forcing him to momentarily change his thinking and plan. If he tries something while you are looking down, he will telegraph his intentions by shifting his hips first and then his feet. Keep his hands in your field of view for possible weapons.
Instant subscribe. I went down the TH-cam rabbit hole and ended up with a bunch of recommendations on self defense. I can say, that the best fight you'll ever have is the one you were able to avoid because you read all the signs for posturing and you took active steps to "inform" how things were going to go. Also, in my honest opinion...anxiety and hypervigiliance, which are typically both a nuisance to have, actually serve as a helper and not a hinderer of survival.
You are right, anxiety motivates actions for self defense, and hypervigilance can be a habit that runs in the background when in sketchy circumstances so one can focus on other things but still have a part of you looking out for shit:)
@@creativemetalworker hyper- vigilance is my default setting all the time. It's a great skill to have and I have been criticized for it but it has saved my life I'm sure many times. I plan escape routes where I know that area just in case. One night, several years ago I was leaving my dog grooming business, I told my assistant to go to the van, she started crossing the street instead. Just then a light flash of a gun, and a guy at the pay phone was shot across the street. I had already determined my escape route to the alley, where it was dark. My assistant complained that by the time she turned around I was gone. If bullets are flying, it's everyone for himself. I took it all in, seconds to make decisions, I'm not waiting for anyone else to figure out what is happening.
Good info here, I grew up in a rough neighborhood on the outskirts of Buenos Aires and we were on situational awareness before it was a thing, first rule I always follow is if possible don't put yourself in a situation where you may need to defend yourself, second always walk like you belong there even if isn't your neck of the woods but here's the fence line, don't walm like you are a big shot or own the street that will attract challenges, don't go to stupid places at stupid hours and there's nothing wrong with evasion, remember you don't have to accept all fight invitations l, the best way to win a fight is to not be in it.
Hear, hear. Solid video. I thankfully deescalated several potentially bad situations back in my 20s-30s by controlling both myself and the situation as best able (considering the individual circumstances). The correct amount/type of eye contact, body language, and humor (aka creation of empathy by humanization) can work wonders in most situations. As silly as it sounds, some of the strongest advice about conflict I've learned is from the movie Roadhouse (1989); be nice. Be nice until it's time not to be nice. The key is learning to recognize (and hopefully avoid) that moment.
I was a bouncer in a jiggle bar and at a big nightclub/bar back in my 20's. I avoided more conflict with the being "nice" and using humor. In my 8 or so years of working those gigs, I only had to hit about 3 people.
Years ago I loved to pick on bullies, loved it. Then I realized I was being a bully to them. Peace is a better option. But knowing how to fight is essential.
I got confronted in Brooklyn awhile back for no good reason in broad daylight, I tried to deescalate, I apologized for "cutting him off" which I wasn't even aware that I did, at which point he said "what, you trying to cop out?" It was at that point I simply darted through him, not away from him, and just high tailed it to the subway. He was trying to pull me into his energy, and he was looking for justification to strike, which I didn't give him. Remaining calm is paramount--in a strange way it respects the adversary and yourself.
Great advice actually. For those who watched the whole video and actually listened. Stay present and aware, deescalate, strategically retreat. No one wins if you end up fighting.
I usually win the stare down. I learned a trick a long time ago and I'll share it with you. If someone is trying to intimidate you and getting violent smile at them like they just made you the happiest person in the world for giving you a target to unload your decades of rage on. Usually at that point I'm not talking to the person trying to intimidate me anymore. I'm thinking about where I'm going to hit them and what moves I'm going to try. Something about KNOWING that I'm already thinking about the fight and not the intimidation at all and that I look like I'm gonna enjoy it. My antagonist has always sensed it. It has always made people walk away. Often looking pale and like they have seen death himself.
That smile works. Always make sure he knows you're ready to lunge and that you yourself are ready to do it. That and you keep your eye contact to them at all times. And yes, you have to committ to it to the point that you get at opportunity to pop up behind them the second the turn their back. I don't know why people hate it when I do that.
Had an encounter with the hardest guy in the area “ He eventually told me he was gonna kill me” my reply “ I,m gonna kill you back” he burst out laughing 😂😂
Just make sure you got proper training before you smile... especially Judo, wrestling, and Muay Thai are deadly self-defense. other than that just walk away...
My go to is a friendly, confident greeting. Or maybe just a smile. It tells them three things right off the bat: you're paying attention, you're not a threat, and you're not afraid. Most predators will move on to easier prey, and most ego fighters prefer to have someone who'll match their belligerence.
I do the same and if they are close I even extend my hand to shake. Then you see who is just full of it and who really wants a piece of you. I have seen guys getting confused or flustered by this action. For me getting up close works because I know how to fight, take a blow and punish back. Now, if it is a big group, 3 or more I stay away but still greet and smile.
@@spidergoose891 If you can't learn to be unafraid without a gun, you'll never be unafraid with one. Also, 4 vs 1 in close quarters are BAD odds even if you have a gun. Close quarters removes the advantage of your ranged attack. Stay safe.
Wise words. A friend of mine, a trauma surgeon, once said: "if people knew how difficult is to repair one's bones, they wouldn't go along breaking them" . Anyway, knowing how to easily break the offender bones, usually gets You out of these situations.
This does work most of the time. Before I had ever been in a fight I was terrified of getting into one. Just not backing down and displaying confidence even when I didn't have any saved me so many times. Bullys want an easy target. As I got older I learned how to take care of myself somewhat and it even boosted my confidence more for situations like this. It won't work every time though so def learn some self defense. Some people are just out to cause damage and damage themselves
First, I love these videos, so much food for thought. Thanks! Second, on a busy tube train in London, I got eye-balled by a man a few breaths away from me. My reaction was to acknowledge him and stare back, though it was hard not to start a confrontation. The train was crowded enough to speak loudly in a way that might have been seen as intimidating, though I simply asked him why he’s looking at me. Looking back at it, he started chewing gum, I started chewing gum, he eventually got off… and I sighed relief. Who wants to have a fight with a random guy, it’s unnecessary? What was his problem? Basically, I’m glad I didn’t give him the satisfaction. But it’s good to reflect on what I could have done better.
What I just realized, is that in many of the situations, in which I ended up fighting, I was just staring at the person for some time. Maybe it could have not escalated the situation, if I didn't stare, but at least I am still alive and intact, so it worked fine. And on the other hand, I had many situations, in which people, from whom I've sensed closet aggression, stepped away, because I was staring at them. Usually, my go-to in the stare-kind-of-situations is look in the eyes for 5-8 seconds, slowly look down at the shoes and go back. Sometimes I move on, if I decide, that this person likely doesn't pose a threat, but sometimes I come back at the head level with my eyes and continue the eye contact, waiting for his next move. This way I, intentionally or not, show a person, that I acknowledge him and especially him in the environment and actually evaluate the situation via understanding, what he is, where his arms are, if he is carrying something, or his arms are in his pockets, checking the stance, if he is in the position to sprint to me, or he has his legs behind one another and so on. Never ever had I been sucker punched or experienced a surprise attack. Even though my knuckles are scarred because of the amount of fights, my nose has a scar, my arm is cut, all that happened, happed to me in a non-surprising manner. Russia is sometimes a cruel place, so some awareness can go a long way.
Your overt situational awareness likely invited the conflict that you may (or may not ) be seeking to avoid, yet was interpreted as an invitation or a threat by the other person. Gunslingers attract gunslingers. There's always someone looking for a fight, for many-a reason. Others understand it, and identified you as a willing 'Saturday-night-sport' combatant or a genuine threat. Go to a monkey park and see what happens when you stare-down a male primate. No...don't do that.
4:46 this is great advice. I have been in many situations and can handle them comfortably. But leaving a bad situation is sometimes the best method, definitely so if you are alone. We don’t leave friends 👊🏻
One thing after being caught unintentionally in a staring match, is not to get out of it by looking down (which is submissive but also acknowledges that you recognise the conflict) but by looking up and to the side with a bored/blank look on your face. And then just act normal like the staring never happened.
Only weak people think like this. Say Hi or just go about your day. I don't care if you stare at me or not. Start walking towards me and staring then that's a different matter. It's called situational awareness. Most people aren't comfortable with violence. It's moulded me so I don't think like the average folk.
I look at them for a second, and if a down-nod, or an up-nod don't work, or a raised eyebrow, I act like something more interesting gets my attention and make an interested face at whatever it is. usually they want to look too. gold-fish attention spans.
@@Probabilityislife I don’t think so,smart people think like that..if you can avoid a fight you should,by looking away bored,uninterested and unconcerned will put some doubt in the aggressors mind and that can usually do the trick of moving him on to a weaker target as most of these guys want an easy target…generally I think they know when someone can or cannot handle themselves..what do you think?
I'm going towards my mid sixties now and I've worked on the doors and behind the bar, I've seen these drunken bullies many times. I do not back down to them, cowards. On several occasions I had blokes come up to me and say, "What you f///ing looking at". very aggressively. I just say with a smile, " I'm looking at someone who is looking at me". That throws them off. Never show fear. I am 5 ft 5 in, 11 st and jog, cycle and do weights, I've done this since I was a gymnast in the early late seventies. I have had blokes over 6 ft pick on me because of my size. They never pick on me again.
I say the same thing to the what are you looking at question. I'm looking at you, and you know that, so exactly why are you asking such a dumb question? There's no rules for that. Lol
My friend rory is small and quiet. Very friendly and sweet person. He was also a state champion wrestler and teaches wrestling at a private school. I have seen him politely tell bullies to stop. And then warn them if they touch him they will regret it. They almost always touch him. They always regret it. Seen him climb a 6 foot something beast and choke him to sleep more then once.
@TonyMarselle Well, you have to admire the big guy's tenacity! If he kept wanting to fight after the first nighty night, he's got more gumption than most, let alone your buddy having to put him out more than once. 😜
Dont argue or push. When you get to the point that violence is unavoidable, be sure to punch first. I spent a few years in gladiator school. Juvenile maximum security. I fought 2 or 3 times a week. I used to like it. I have since realized that it was a sickness and do my best not to go back. I have several impact split scars above my eyes and my family say i walk differently than other people. You can tell a killer when you see one. Most people never get the chance to see a truely dangerous person.
Really good points. Turning your body 45 degrees away from the person can also be crucial. Being turned toward the person can be seen as a direct provocation. The opposite applies when you do need to make a stand.
I was bullied all through school. When i left i vowed never to be bullied again. I worked hard in a very physical job, built muscle and learnt that it is fear that makes you able to be brave. I worked with dangerous dogs and used kindness to calm them, but also developed a look that worked where kindness did not. In a situation knowing and being aware of what and who is around you is of paramount importance.
Inspiring and relatable, especially "learnt that it is fear that makes you able to be brave". The school bully did me a life favor: learning kick boxing at 18. Self-confidence was probably the best component. I saw that bully at a party 25 years later; he didn't like my gaze and wouldn't say hello.
Firstly, I agree with everything you've said. Yes. All true. You have a very good understanding of the psychology of violence. However, I think it's important to remember that there is no magic formula for dealing with a situation. Every one is different and you have to get a feel for it. I grew up in Merseyside, and the Birkenhead of the 80's and early 90's was a very violent place. "What are you looking at!?" Smack! was a daily occurrence. If some helmet has decided he's going to smack some innocent character who's just walking past,....that's what he'll do. The best strategy is not to be there in the first place. Unhelpful I know, but true.
For years, I avoid eye contact as if I am in my own world. Whenever its necessary, I will give a potential aggressor that psychotic look. The deranged look normally deescalates the potential confrontation. Sometimes the threat is much bigger and stronger. It has worked for me because that crazy look makes those bad guys for some reason think twice. I have been using that look for 68 years and count my blessings.
@@metsrus no, not cross eyed. the psychotic look says "I will kill you mother fuc$#r if you touch me and you put your hands on me your life will never be the same." That look has saved me a countless number of times.
@@Suve35967 it is a mind set and a feeling that you are deranged. deranged to the point that you will grab the closest thing around you and practically destroy the aggressor. as I said, it has worked for me on a number of tense situations.
These are some very good takes, which i naturally applied several times. 41yo and still going without any significant ego battle interaction, although i grew up in a relatively tough neighborhood. This deserves more views.
My uncle always told me that if you're being troubled by a group, size up who the leader is. If something starts, take him out first. The rest will go scrambling. On the rare occasion that I've had this happen to me, his advice worked.
I was at a concert with a couple of friends several years ago. Some guy about a foot shorter than me walked up and threw his cup down and was like 'Hey can you pick that up?' I looked him right in the eye and said 'Point out the moron who sent you over here to get your skull bashed in?' That dude's face went from teen brat to 'Oh Sh-t!' I think the fact that I knew WHY he was there doing that scared him. He had that look like 'Dude's reading my mind and it freaks me out.' He looked back at a group that was about 15 or 20 back behind us and then he picked the cup up, tried to shake my hand and apologized then walked off. I kept my eye on that group for over an hour before I took my attention away.
There is a technique for breaking a stare that I learned from a primatologist. I call it the slow blink break. As long as you have a safe cushion of distance, break the stare by slowly, deliberately blinking once, and breaking the stare as your eyes close. Between many primates, this expresses confidence and a slight air of dismissal. I've made it work many, many, times to defuse the situation.
What I do that works every single time9so far), is when I catch someone staring, I look directly at them and meet their gaze for 1-2 seconds and look away as if it doesn't bother me(this is almost like saying here, you can win your little staring contest I don't care), if I can tell they are still be looking at me, and then I look back at them quickly as if to communicate "are you seriously staring at me?" they look away right away almost in shame everytime so far. Not only do you diffuse the sitaution, but you actually win the staring contest (that they started).
Here's a way to break a stare I learned working with vicious dogs. Don't break the stare, but move your hand. The instinct is to track sudden hand movement. Not sure if it would work on humans. I don't get that far into it with people.
Wrong! Take it from a guy that has been to prison for fights. Walk the f away. The loser goes to the hospital. The winner goes to prison and pays tens of thousands in medical bills. Freedom is better than validation and ego.
I woke up a shot caller in state. He came at me all hard ass. I had to let go of inhibition and became excitedly eager looking him up and down as I bounced a little light on my feet, with an "I'm going to rape you" look of joy, and said , "this is goona be fun" , "are you sure?", I didn't mean to wake you bro." , "But hell yeah!" in a gitty tone.. He retreated saying, "Just keep it down!" and went back to his bunk. Later he complained to the C.O. and I got moved to a bunk away from his. He was smart and walked away.... So I agree with you Sir.
Now that was a well thought out video. The quick downward nod is perceived by trained men as a sign that you are one of them, they know from that moment that the pain and claret will be a two-way thing. In fact, the nod coupled with some beef is often enough to see big fellas into old age without ever learning to scrap. 😀
I dont mess with people i dont know. But i have had them mess with me. And almost every time i e done far more damage than i took. The ones i didnt come out on top were ones where i was outnumbered and/or suckerpunched.
@@jonc3214 No, YOU don't mess with the mentally ill, and its good when you know your limitations, and even better when you follow them. Most people wont mess with them either, unless they have too, or worse didn't have a choice, and when you do, the last thing you do is worry about knowing them, or some other doubt bs, you focus on getting it done. I am not speaking from bs, I dealt with it inside my family, and later in life on the job working doors. So it absolutely does matter how tough you are, and or, more aptly put, how experienced you are, and that will clearly vary among individuals, even the tweakin batshit crazy people you don't know.
you have no idea how effective this is, i witness crazy things all the time I live in nyc & its great to always be aware of your surroundings, to be able to read the room
One mistake not mentioned , overconfidence . I once minimized a threat because I thought " this guy wouldn't dare try anything to me" and got sucker punched for my arrogance . Expect the unexpected , old advice is still good advice .
Pretty much spot on. I don't have any problem breaking contact with a potential threat, but it can all go out the window when you're in a position where you're protecting someone, personally or professionally. At that point you can be put into more danger by the people you're protecting than the threat. The trick of looking someone between the eyes wouldn't work if they're right in your face, but otherwise it can cause a person to be disorientated or uncertain because you're giving the illusion of individually focusing into both of their eyes at the same time with both of your eyes.
Learning to spot the face of PTSD afflicted veterans in early situational distress is a useful tool. I am a non ptsd veteran and after years of observation I can often tell when a fellow veteran is beginning to boil over . Once the poor souls hit the flash point it's difficult if not impossible at times to deescalate them . The gent with the focused stare wearing the green shirt shows the sad marker of ptsd .Thanks for Your videos Sir
As a vet myself with PTSD, you are right. I hate the label, but early situational distress assessment is crucial in cooling us down and keeping us from exploding. Too many times I've been stared down and it puts me on alert. I avoid places where any alcohol is involved now. The "fun" of hanging with my friends in those places isn't worth the fight and night in jail that comes when some "homie" wants to prove his manhood. I've learned to avoid places like clubs where I USED to enjoy because people there mistake my 1000 yard stare as a "challenge". Sometimes I'm not even looking at the person, I'm a million miles away in my own head. But they think I'm staring them down for a fight. Egos man.
@@BaronNate I agree with You . The woods are My place of peace ( No politics , no religion , just 100% truth ). I wish I could find one magic word or phrase to break through to every struggling Vet . I will never give up . I also tell vets that are suicidal to PLEASE reach out .Don't disgrace the fallen by not living , Our living keeps them alive through US . We are the caretakers of Our brothers and sister Vets . Go as easy as Ya can .
Fear is a natural human response. The real question is, what do you fear? I don't fear another man, I fear what I may lose, what I love the most - my family! When they depend on your wisdom, guidance, and protection, nothing is worth placing them in that position! Let the ego go, and live to see another day! With that said, a quick eye to eye agreement, usually let's both sides know to mutually move on. I just did this a week ago!
When i hear that someone doesn't fear another man.. How is this possible?You must have at least a little fear of someone,maybe he is bigger,or taller or crazier,or a very good fighter,or he carries a weapon.I never understood this statement.Either you have a neurological deficiency or you are lying. I fear many men mainly because they are bigger and i'm not ashamed to admit it.
@@ΝουςΥγιής-δ4ψ I would say that I don't have a neurological disorder, it's more of a mindset. If you're a fighter, you have just as much of a chance as your opponent, what's to fear? Size means nothing. My line training instructor was half my size, but technically sound, and had no problem mitigating my size.
MANY years ago, I was in Dallas at 3 am with a truck full of stuff and a full trailer, moving my girl to Colorado. I pulled off the highway in a bad part of town to fuel up and move on. I went inside to pay. At the doorway, there were 8 very large black guys. I thought I was about to get beaten up and robbed. So, I found the biggest, meanest, looking guy, and I nodded at him. He nodded back. No words were said, none were needed. I paid for my fuel and left. My take away from this was that sometimes the most simple of gestures can make life so much easier. Or, more simply, don't start shit, won't be shit.
Showing Confidence without being a direct threat. Just acknowledge and getting on the way. I call it "just playing through" no harm, no foul. Well played. RESPECT
Spot on. I have found that about 3 seconds eye contact is the right amount: long enough to acknowledge their presence and "assess" them as a potential threat. Then I look away, always sideways. Never down; that is a sign of submission/weakness. Ignoring them (but still being aware of their movements) at this point sends the message that you have assessed their potential and deemed it not worthy of concern - this gives them pause for thought. Only once has someone taken it a step further after such an exchange; I'd just finished strapping my kid in the car. He approached and said "alright mate, there a problem?". I stared at him and with a calm, even but direct tone told him that there wasn't - but given that I had my child in my care, there would be a very severe problem if he decided there was. He persisted evidently so as not to lose face so I made it quite clear: my child is in the car, back off or you'll discover the savagery a father protecting his child is capable of. At that point it became clear I had to assert full dominance - it worked. Still got mouthy but he did back up several steps, at which point I got on with my business. Fact is, most gobshites nowadays dont have the stomach for a fight with someone who is clearly not intimidated - unless they are packing a blade etc. Which of course, in the above situation, makes it all the more important to gain control of the situation. A small Co-op carpark, cameras everywhere, people moving in and out on a bright sunny day, thw likelihood of him drawing a hidden weapon is slim. Had it been dark, isolated etc, my approach would have been quite different. Of course, it does also help knowing you are physically equipped to deal with the situation should it get that far.
Always good ! I always wear rear view sunglasses. I walk through some 'ugly' parts of town and they remove the surprise sneak attack from the 'back biters' .
In two instances, situational awareness has saved my life and in others its probably saved me from injury. That said, it is very important to learn body language, because attackers will always telegraph their disposition and intentions. It can be a fine line, but keep your distance and use what's in your environment as an advantage to block an attack or a way to escape. When all else fails, though, and you know your going into a fight be the first to strike with no holds barred.
Love this video. I've been a Corrections Officer for almost 31 years now, and I use these same methods in a prison environment. Having worked from minimum to Level 5 security I have many of your techniques on TH-cam channel. I maintain a high level of situational awareness especially how inmates carry a variety of edged weapons either staged or on their persons. I use a variety of observing mirrors, window reflections, shadows on walls, pre assault indicators, etc good information
I always return it with a dead stare, slightly smile and slowly break eye contact sideways. Usually ends it. I let them know that i am relaxed and are tracking them without directly looking at them .
Ego is such an important thing to get, particularly as a child. It's the reason bullies pick on people - the satisfaction, the determination to somehow make you look less so that, in their eyes, they look more in front of others. I found very early on that giving in to bullies made it worse, as did trying to play 'their' game. In the end, similar to the advice in this video I find that portraying confidence in yourself (even if you are not feeling it) was enough to put these people off eye contact, a nod, even a few words of destraction (ie not escalating the situation) was enough to put them off pickign on me and moving on. I even had a physical encounter where one of them punched me in front of others to see what I do and I just looked at them. Sadly they didn't give up so after the 4th one I changed attitude to show that I was serious and had enough. I wouldn't call myself strong in sense of the word but I returned one punch with conviction and they mentally fell apart. They wanted me to cower in front of them and most of the school. What I did was not give them the satisfaction. I was never picked on again - probably as much due to the bully and friends perceived ego loss as anything else. Bullies want easy to targets - For some weird reason they thing it makes them bigger or better.
i got it too, just taking it made it worse. fighting back made it worse. they were the kind of kids that would pick the right times, i'd retaliate in anger and get the suspension, the asskicking later on, and punished at home, because mom had to come get me early. i thought about taking my granddad's shotgun to school so many times and i'm glad i didn't. i was tired of always being in deepshit no matter what i did. the thing that worked for me was just lifting debris. at 10, i was so angry i'd throw rocks, sticks. i started lifting bigger and bigger ones. out biking around near some woods, i found a dumpsite for junk construction materials, full of busted cinder blocks, bent rebar, boulders of concrete... i would stack bricks up all afternoon, break concrete with a 6' steel rod, carry stacks of rebar across the site. then a week later, new junk would appear. i didn't know what i was doing and lucky i didn't severely injure myself, but it helped soothe my anger. i didn't notice how it was changing me: rough looking hands, arms,neck,face always brusied/scraped, my body got bulky, solid, but i never lost that angry look, and after a child abuse scare, because of course, some counselor told me once i always walked around with the world on my shoulders, always staring at the wall or the floor, like i was in another world. yea, i couldn't wait to get back to my field and break more broken shit. i never understood why they always picked me, maybe since i was always the new kid, mom constantly moving us around the city, different districts, different types of schools. i can remember getting my ass kicked for the first time at age 7 over a bike lock some asshole kid wanted. couldn't understand why all the adults were cool with it until i had enough. but i knew none of them had any nuts at all, i just knew it. now i was 12, almost 13, the first time i fought after my time in the field, i boxed this kid up so bad they called the cops, guns drawn and everything. they thought i had a knife with all mess. he didn't deserve it, i felt bad immediately even before the cops arrived, because he wasn't even the worst one. he was just the first and caught years of hell that weren't meant for him. i kept replaying a single instance over and over in my mind: brushing his arms away like they were laundry and throwing my fist right into his soft, dumbfounded face, i couldn't feel anything, like my hits were missing, not connecting, hitting nothing. made me hit harder and yet i couldn't feel my limbs. i couldn't hear anything nor focus on anything but his face. he couldn't even look me in the eyes and he never would again as i was promptly arrested and kicked out of the school. at home, mom was so pissed she was lashing me with a belt, screaming, crying. that shit went all across my chest, neck. it stung, but i wouldn't flinch. i felt amused. even the asskickings at home are nothing now, but i digress into a whole other mess. the reckoning had begun and things were never the same. mom gave me up, went through a few homes, even did a little stint homeless. shit sucked, but the bullies all stopped. no balls. i knew it. only now i could make them see it too. a desolate field of unwanted debris made that all very apparent. i apologize for the long post, your post dug some things up i hadn't thought about in years.
That's great advice! Thank you! Looking at reflections and maintaining your peripheral views are very helpful. Years ago I was mugged by two guys because it was dark, cold and stupidly I had earbuds in listening to music while walking home one night. I had my hood on because it was a very cold night. I might as well have been blind. They came at me from the side and I got beat pretty bad. Since then I never wear a hood when I go out, I wear a hat and make damn sure my vision is not obstructed in any way. I immediately become aware of anything reflective in my path and walk near it. The reflections are your second pair of eyes, that's how I like to think of it. I now tend to be equally aware of my peripheral view as much as my frontal view. I think we take that for granted. I also look and assess a situation long before I get to a destination. If I'm walking with my wife and notice some activity a block away it's more than enough time to shift our direction. Could be nothing but you never know.
Excellent advice. Unfortunately in many places these days it's just as likely to be a knife as a sucker punch if you get it wrong. The blank eye contact, just enough to register and acknowledge the aggressor but without letting it linger, is definitely the best. After that it's a case of withdrawing from the danger zone without losing awareness of what's going on (the further you move away, the more you can rely on peripheral vision, and at this point, demeanour is everything.) Having acknowledged their presence, you now need to give he impression that without showing any fear, you are not invested in the situation, and that you have other distractions going on that need your focus and attention. There is another observation I would make, if all else fails and you find yourself in a fight. People who are not used to physical confrontation have an instinctive dread of being hit in the face, and it is a primal reflex to crouch and cover the face, even turning away, to protect it. But this places you at an immediate disadvantage because you can no longer see what your opponent is doing, or where the blows are coming from, and whist he may not be able to land on your jaw or nose, he can still hook around and batter the side of your head, grab you, kick you in the groin or stomach etc. So whilst it may be counterintuitive at first, it's worth training yourself to keep your head up with your opponent in clear view, and to rely on using distance and head movement to avoid the blows. It's way better if you can keep his face and hands in clear focus in front of you at all times, and unless he is a trained fighter, generally you will see the punch coming and be able to avoid it, or at least take the sting out of it as you move backwards or shift your head. This also gives you the crucial freedom and ability to strike back, and land your own blows effectively on target. I know this all sounds obvious but in the heat of the moment when people are unused to these situations, instinct often does takes over and they try to cover up in self preservation mode, with painful consequences, until their aggressor gets bored of battering and kicking... and there's no certainty of how far he will go with it.
What I would add to this very good analysis of how to handle these types of situations is this : Don't turn your back to anyone you understand to be showing 'bad intentions'. Tactical retreat is where you set off in a direction that goes toward a possible 'safe' venue, like store, restaurant, etc. while keeping your body at least sideways to the potential attacker, so you can easily keep them in your view. Never turn your back or give them your back. Ever. Put other impediments in their way, like a street with lots of traffic or lots of people walking past or through where you are. Make it so they have to fight that traffic or those other people to get to you. Very least, it gives you valuable time to see and then set yourself up to respond. Best case, it will possibly enlist others to your aid, something these types of people don't want.
I disagree. Exposing your back is displaying an opening, one they probably won't be able to resist. So, by exposing an opening you've chosen where the attack will come.
@@artiefischel2579 Inviting the attack isn't an option for everyone. For most people, completely avoiding the attack is the best option, even those who can fight and are carrying weapons. Better to escape than to risk serious injury or have to explain to the police why you killed someone.
@@mitchellbaxter6314 Don't know. I think if the attack is going to come, it's going to come. Better to control it from the start. That's what I was taught, anyway.
Seems I've instinctively followed these tips my whole life. Never ended up in a fight except for one my friend started and I've avoided two would be muggings. The most important thing in my experience is communicating to the person (through body language/eye contact) your awareness of their intentions and how you don't intend to make yourself an easy target (don't stop moving or turn your back on them). Unless they really have it in for you, the likelihood is they will switch to an easier target.
Same here. I've had plenty of people try to stare me down. I'm one of those people a lot of guys look at and immediately think they can take me, 5' 9", about 155 lbs, no tattooes, bulking biceps, pecs any of that stuff. Very mild natured and friendly. But anyone who's been in my headlock understands how potentially lethal I can be, so in short, I'm just not scared of people. This causes many to try to intimidate me, but once I ask them "what's up", or "how's it going?", they usually see my confidence and quickly grow respect. If I feel someone is particularly squirrely, I usually just pick up my cell phone and start texting or something. They usually get bored when I don't play along. Another thing I have to remember is I'm also good looking, and sometimes even heterosexual males just can't help but to have a good look at what a fine specimen looks like lol
Excellent advice, Dr Mark. As an ex-doorman myself, I would add that if it's possible to say something that is *really* funny (especially if the starer is with mates) it is possible to defuse really tense situations almost instantly. I can give examples from my own experiences if anyone's interested. Great video.
@@andresdigi25 OK. I was standing out in front of Arthur's nightclub, on Victoria Street in Kings Cross, in front of double plate glass windows and doors which made the front of the club. I was working the door on my own that night. It was about 11 or 11:30 at night, and I heard an odd sound - I turned to my right and I saw a group of about 10 or 12 guys rolling an 18 gallon keg down the road. Everything about them said "football team". They made their way towards me. The ring leader came over to me and he said, "Is this a place for poofs*?" I replied, "Mate, you'll be okay, but I can't let your mates in". They all cracked up (apart from the ring leader,) and they rolled the keg on down the road. *Australian slang term for homosexuals, from 30 years ago.
One thing that has worked for me on a couple of occasions is to become very friendly. Ask them if their life is going okay or if they've heard a new song. If they have buddies, talk to them too. Treat them like they are people, sometimes they're just having a bad day.
Growing up in the eighties you had to fight. There was no other way around it. So I fought a lot, and in my case, where insecurities dominated my teenage years, staring aggressively seemed to me like a giveaway. As a bullied kid and always the underdog, I learned to hit first so I could hit again. Not proud of it. That's just the way it was for me.
Im a barely 5'1 woman. Im not not loud, im not hostile, but for some reason i seem to draw aggression from others. I used to be very heavy, i turned to food to keep a barrier between me and the world but many saw it as an invitation for violence and harassment. Now ive lost weight and women see me as competition and are super, super nasty. Its terrible.
I’m a big guy. I’m 6”3 and I was a bodybuilder and power lifter. I was also a Kung Fu and kickboxing instructor. This made me a target for any idiot that thought he would get clout if he took me down. Most of the time I would deescalate but occasionally they would push too far and then the results for them were not too good. What’s the easiest way to stop someone from eyeballing you? Give him a good poke in either eye, then he won’t be eyeballing anybody. Lol. Note: If you’re thinking about an eye gouge during a confrontation be warned. Eye gouges often result in permanent damage being done to the eye. It should only be used in a life threatening situation or else you may find yourself facing criminal charges and a hefty lawsuit.
Really don't know what to think about that, I'm a very small guy and have gotten shit for it incessantly all my life, including from my very own brother (who I put in the hospital a few times for it when he didn't see it coming) and figured if you're tough as the devil then people would leave you alone. I guess there's just no accounting for the fact that many people are just fucking losers and that's that. Always looking to cause bullshit. We're a right bloody nasty fucking species.
So many People with fragile egos in the modern world. This is why we have to watch videos like this to ensure that we learn to protect ourselves when we are in trouble.
I was bartender/bouncer at a pretty rough dive bar for 22 years. This video has some good advice. The looking back at them with the " dead soulless eyes" trick worked for me many times, because when one of these weak men stare at you with "bad intentions", the last thing they want is to have mistakenly picked a victim that is WAY crazier than they are.
Agreed! In my case I would add, that at some point in my life I decided I’m not afraid to die! This has helped me to be afraid of confrontations, but not give in to my fear!
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want be tortured or brain damaged!
that comes with experience. I'm a bouncer and I do that to. I don't talk much I look deep into your eyes and make you scream and when you run out of words what are you going to do? you wanted to be tough your words are finished and now? That person is going to think I'm screaming but this bouncer just looks right through me. Trust me trust me you broke them and they walk away
I was told the stare at the eyebrows trick from an older bouncer where I worked as a much younger man - he told me it gives them the impression that they're staring at a shark or a leopard seal (he was Polynesian), something that wouldn't think twice about eating them. After all these years, I can say it works pretty well.
Yep. Bartender here. 5'7" so I really had to figure this out quickly
@T Bone Thankfully some states are cracking down on "rough bars" -- by taking away their liquor license when there is fighting in or around their bar.
I was a bouncer, downtown Minneapolis for 10 years. Usually when I see videos like these, I click on them for a good laugh. This guy is spot-on. I can’t disagree with anything he said. Especially at the end.
Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how tough you are, a fight avoided is a fight won.
The guy who avoids the fight in the first place is the winner the top dog always has the torn ear
When I was a kid, I never realised what my dad was doing when he would ask me, without looking, to describe a room we'd walked into and the people in it. He never actually did explain it to me, but, as I've gotten older, I reckon he was teaching me to develop my situational awareness.
It's been an invaluable tool to me over the years and I hope to play the same game with my son as he grows up.
It happened to me. The guy had a knife. I never took my eyes off of him. He was very dangerous. But, he also realized that, I did not back down. Believe me, I was very scared, but I did not show it. I grabbed his arm.
If you ever have daughters, teach them this as well.
Best thing you can teach them...
I live in NW DC i grew up always watching surroundings car that drive by if window up kool if window down stay on sidewalk opposite of window always checking folks facial expressions, watching there hands if I can’t see them and I know there atension is on me em ready DTA DONT TRUST ANYBODY
He taught you well mate, situational awareness is the no1 best strategy. I clock everyone around me and when I get a starer I look back and give them a "knowing smile". Another thing I do is I don't slouch when I'm around people, to a mugger/attacker a hunched posture signals a potential victim bur having your head up and level signals confidence. A few simple behavioural techniques makes you get noted as the head member of the "who needs to deal with that" club in the minds of wotless little pricks.
"You and me, in the parking lot, in 5 min.... If I'm not there, start without me!"
😅😅
🤣
Miyamoto Musashi and the boat ride
😂😂😂
😅😅😅
I’ve been training for 40 years. And EVERYTHING you said here is spot on. One night my wife accidentally bumped into a pregnant women in a bar. They got hot immediately. There were 15 of them, and just me. I jumped in, apologized and offered to buy a round for our mistake. I got everyone’s order and told my wife to wait by the door, I walked to the bar pretending I was ordering drinks. I told the bartender what happened. I waved to the group, gave them a thumbs up, then we left quickly before they had a chance to figure out what was going on. We were probably 5 miles out of town in our car before they realized what happened.
Why was a pregnant woman at a bar
@@nothuman1683 Hey you're picking holes in the plot..................🤣🤣🤣
Yeah we all saw Dumb and Dumber
🤣🤣🤣
💯 FUCKING GENUIS 💯
@Joe Public - spot on? No.
And I'm basing that on living and working in over 20 countries (whole EU, including UK now, Singapore, Hong Kong, LA, NY, Alaska, Hawaii, Canada, Australia, Japan... bla, bla, bla).
More often that not - all of this will get you killed with a lot of people, and I'm more than happy to write more based on my experience with people (as a former military man with also a psychology degree, and computer science one, and quite good with combat skills including tools - but even I would not advise that as a "general advice"; it is not the training as such, but people who you fighting with and their mental approach and attitude as some of them will simply try to kill you just because or even bite part of your face off: nose, lips, cheek, take your eyes out, crush your throat... usual crap, or will be under influence of heavy drugs, some psychopats, or even average looking members of organized crime organization: some eastern europeans, mexicans, or even specific cities like Caracas or Naples (hell even LA and NY), or people who simply don't care at all if you live or die, and so on) - I just don't want to repeat all of that writing with each post like that, or youtube videos.
But in the current world, I would have to disagree with you on that (that the advice is somehow "spot on" - as in a lot of cases some of them will simply get you killed, or just escalate the issue. Like some people mentioned: eye contact, souless one? Really? In this age... there will be a lot of people that will simply try to destroy you just for that, without any reason, or in best case put you in a hospital, and they wont care at all if you live or die, or if they go to prison or not).
Edit: grammar, formatting of text, spelling...
Also, if the guy leaves whatever place you are, be wary when you also leave the place.
I know of a guy who almost died, because he called somebody names, who waited over 4 hours to attack him from behind, when that guy was alone.
Don't call people names, but do expect them to do everything to stab you in the back.
Parking lots at night: The perfect place for really bad things to happen.
heres a trick i used many times leaving motorcycle club houses bars etc ...for 5 or 10 min before you actually leave close one of your eyes so no light gets in ..then when you leave and go outside where usually its dark open that eye and you can see with it like a fkn wolf as the pupil has dilated large to let in the light and you can see better with that eye in the dark if worried about such
or if he leaves after you and follows you
@@thecelt4807 that trick is a good idea, get one eye acclimated to the dark. it's worth a try
My dad was a war vet, and he's been a child through various wars as well. He always told my brothers and I not to fight. He also told us to avoid bad people, places, and things.
Makes sense. Don't invite trouble and it won't follow you.
yeah right @@JustChill-zd4ib
Wise advice.
Mine also fought in a horrific war, and also told me never to fight. However, when I asked him why not, he simply responded: "Because nothing is worth taking someone's life." Unfortunately, it took me over a decade to realize that he was so traumatized by the war that fighting and killing were one and the same to him.
Interesting. My grandfather was in WW2. He taught his sons and I his grandson to fight. He also taught me to never get flanked. He taught me to always wear a belt as a tool against weapons. He also said don't hangout when the sun goes down. He taught me to shoot guns. Throw spears and knives. He also taught me build shelter from the elements. Also taught me how to read and do math.
I, 5'3", female, lived in the SF Tenderloin for just under 10 years. I never had a problem on the streets no matter what the hour. I made a very specific point of glancing into every darkened doorway and meeting the eyes of every single person I passed. I made it clear with a glance and a quick nod that I saw them, I was aware of them and I was not particularly afraid. Most predators rely on surprise, the second you have met their eyes they have lost all invisibility, all element of surprise.
If you are saying that you were actually walking around a rough area at night, alone, then you are simply lucky. I live near Baltimore and have known a few tough girls who grew up in the city. All of them have been mugged and S/A at some point, usually more than once.
@@johnwilson2487 I do hear you on that, you are probably right. I was bold and lucky, yes it could have been worse.
@@johnwilson2487 Good point. Similar situation. 5'5" 105lb female (at that time. Not much bigger now). except I was knowingly and intentionally inserting myself into danger for several reasons.
I did get jumped a couple of times by gang members because I walked from one "gang territory" to another without fear. I had no other choice. I did not have a DL or car at the time and it was my only way to take public transportation to get to school. But after word got out that I was not an easy target people left me alone. I had to do things to make them think I was crazier than average so that reputation followed me too growing up in the S side of Chicago. Developing situational awareness and learning how to pay attention to my instincts kept me alive. I wasn't a trained fighter then and I also didn't have experience with weapons as I do now either.
SF Tenderloin?... I've walked all those streets at night,... ALONE!...
Mostly drug addicts, homeless, and prostitutes. ...
They all tend to mind their own business, and leave you alone,... so long as you let them know that you're not a threat to them, AND you're not about to become a victim!...
Now,... south-east Oakland,... you'll get attacked just because you're wearing better shoes than them!..
@@johnwilson2487... Yup,... that's usually how it happens!... It's a "numbers" game. ...
Like my dad used to say, " If you spend enough time swimming around in a toilet bowl,... sooner or later, you're gonna run into some shit!".
Over the years I’ve found it virtually IMPOSSIBLE to get in a bar fight if I DONT GO TO BARS !!!
Yes, there you go right there. As I aged, I found that I didn't have to be in the middle of everything. Then I lost the desire for alcohol altogether. Life has been simple ever since. But that does not stop me from carrying a pistol as I live in Missouri. We are a free state in that regard.
Chuck Norris gets into bar fights at the petting zoo.
I saw a video on self defence, avoid going to stupid places at stupid hours and hanging out with stupid people
Like grandma said, if you fly with the crows, you might get shot.
It's shocking how many people can't connect these dots.
I got bullied a lot at school and then got into martial arts: judo, karate, boxing. The confidence and calmness it gives you means that you don't even need to use it. And the physical conditioning gave me so many health benefits. Especially the boxing. And the friendships I made on the way were great, they were based on mutual respect.
I kicked the school bully in the nuts and made him cry. That solved my bullying problems for all of high school. Sadly I became a bit of a bully myself, regrets.
Exactly. I was a boxer and a bouncer and also had my share of street fights. You can tell immediately if somebody is a trained fighter first by the calm way they stand and look at you like "oh, this will be fun". And then if things escalate, the pose they take before the first punch is thrown. If one guy is all beating his chest and gesturing and the other puts one foot in front of the other, shoulder width apart, hands up in front of his face in fists, the first guy is doomed.
Joints go crunch at 40-ish. Enjoy.
the scary thing is,knowing,the amount of damage you can do to another person,that,picked the wrong person.
Proper job mate.
Great advice. In these situations I prefer to calmly ask 2 questions while staring back. 1) "Are you OK bro?" 2) "What exactly are we doing here"? This has saved me multiple times from sucker punches, escalation and helped the other person understand that I was in control. It rarely came to fists after that (only with drunk people).
Number one is my absolute favorite and seriously has worked everytime, just like you said. By doing this you shift the ENTIRE energy from being on you to being on them. Now everyone's staring at your aggressor like 'yeah, what is wrong with this guy?' . Suddenly it feels like 20 against 1 to them. You achieve dominance quick like this, because it implies that they have something wrong with them, and that can be embarrassing.
@@itsrtvbaby for me, the second question enforces the lunacy of the situation based upon the first question. Fighting today is not like 20 years ago- the variables have changed a lot.
Yes, exactly this. Has helped many times for me, it puts you in control.
@@Honkiavellii agree that fighting has changed from 20 years ago and i think it’s because of security cameras, iphone cameras, and how easy it is to end up in jail even if you were just defending yourself. Way i see it if you end up in jail even i you beat the big bad bully up, you still lost big time because jail fucking sucks and now maybe you have a criminal record for assault or something. These are great things to say. I would say something similar like “do you need HELP?” It makes them look inferior and weak
I prefer do you want to kiss me!
The "cool walk away until around a corner then escape" trick has came in handy a few times.
Whether you think you can take him or not, a knife is too easy to conceal and not too rare these days.
Knives give me chills.
Multiple angles of attack compared to a gun at close range.
Yes, when my brother was 13 he was reading a martial arts book on how to street fight. On the page that mentioned your opponent pulling out a knife the author said, "If he pulls out a knife I run. I'm an expert in martial arts, but a knife can kill you. I'm not taking any chances."
My brother's friend was suckerpunched once at a party by a dude trying to impress some losers. He was k.o.'d and the dude left. But the next day he started to look for the dude until he found him and beat him up, he repeated that a couple of times when he saw the dude on the street and told him he was gonna keep doing it whenever he saw him. The dude ended avoiding going out anymore for months before asking for forgiveness.
Perfectly handled
This story is good enough for a new martial arts movie.
Beautiful
Sounds like the Vulcan Hello. :-D
That's what you do.
I was bullied a lot as a youngster, then later began boxing and karate
And something I learned is that someone coming close to you and staring you down is actually a rather simple situation to deal with (I don't mean it's easy in reality, because there are emotions involved, adrenaline dumps to deal with, etc.) but in general the situation isn't complicated.
My general rule for these situations in this:
1. If I can leave, I leave.
2. If they've invaded my personal space and are so close to me that I can hit them, I hit them.
3. If they're outside of my range but are still close to me, I throw up "the fence" (putting my arms out in front of me, telling them to stay back and that I don't want any trouble or problems), and if they come closer or touch my hands/arms at all, I hit them.
Problem is the average person hasn't thought and planned for such a situation.
I grew up in care and jail. Raise your voice and be aggressive in my face and you're going to sleep. Simple rules for fools 😂
Would you recommend a teenager learn boxing or martial arts? or both? my 15 year old nephew needs to learn some form of self defense.
@@snoo333 I've been bullied until I learned boxing. And I always practiced karate. So the answer for me is boxing. Even better: MMA. Which consoder kicks and ground fighting
The only thing wrong is letting them close enough to touch your hands before action, they have already broke distance and your action is to late, unless you get lucky and it is some mutt.
@snoo333
I was bullied since I was 6 years old. I was doing self-defense judo and flip anyone over my hip or shoulder, since I was around 11 years old. Then I became very efficient at wrestling around 15 years old. In 1974 I joined Beaver Boxing Club, Harry Villeneuve's Karate and Kickboxing Studio and the Ottawa Athletic Club. I was doing 2 to 4 hours exercise daily. I gained more and more confidence. To the point where several bullies avoided me. I also was learning Shaolin Kung Fu, Muay Tai Kickboxing, Jeet Kun Do, etc.
I am 65 years old and can still withstand full body punches and kicks. Unless I get struck in the liver. Most people can't take a hard liver strike which can be very dangerous.
I recommend him learning Judo, Jiu Jitsu, wrestling, weight training and doing skipping to develop a strong core and back. Also developing an internal force through Iron Wire Breathing and doing Zen Meditation to develop a one pointed concentration.
Muay Thai is a combat sport. Known as 'the art of eight limbs', it's a discipline that uses knees, elbows, fists, and shins, alongside clinching and sweeping techniques. Muay Thai has a broader range of movements and attacks than other close combat sports.
I developed the confidence and I also usually rely on my intuition and innate wisdom to avoid confrontations.
I did full contact boxing and Karate. There is an increase in chances of being injured. I broke my nose twice. If he trains smart and learns how to move well, fast, using feints, bobbing and weaving, using angles and incorporating many techniques and styles to avoid being hit in the head or weaker areas like the liver, solar plexus, kidneys, throat, eyes, groin, etc.
As a taxi driver back in my twenties (nights) this sort of thing was VERY important. This guy knows what he’s talking about. The real deal.
Yep. Me too. I would look right in the mirror and say "So you're talking about jumping me?" Pull over and tell them to get out. Worked 100%.
@@josephkelly6681 and leave the meter runnin while they decided… good times
Not a taxi driver, but even as a Canadian I wouldn't want to do that unless I was carrying a pistol even if I worked day shifts! People are porked! Seriously, being a cab driver has to be one of the more dangerous jobs, especially when your fare is high on heavy drugs like meth and somehow magically forgot to bring any money.
"Are you talking to me? Are you talkling to me???"
When I was in high school I caught a glimpse of someone staring at me out of the corner of my eye. Turns out he was the boyfriend of a girl I was into. Once I figured out what was happening, I realized that my instincts were telling me that danger could be present. Years later I worked as bartender, and did so for over a decade. I can confidently say that when danger is present, our instincts tell us as much. I learned to trust them and it has served me well. Good video.
Someone whom I know that worked in special forces told me - just walk away but acknowledge their presence. 100% of the time if it not worth it. This video confirms his advice to me! Thanks for sharing!
It's been my belief for decades that if you've got the opportunity to back out, then take it. Just never turn a back to them and if you can't back out, then fight dirty, and I mean dirty. That's the time when a sucker punch to the balls is fair game, same for any bit of sand you can get into their eyes. If you've got a flashlight, and it's dark, definitely use it to blind them as well. Because believe me that the other side cannot be trusted to not cheat as bad, or worse.
This is also why I tend to be fake drunk at bars on the rare case where I go. The moment I straighten myself up and it becomes clear that only one of us is drunk, it tends to open up opportunites for just letting it go.
If any of that seems unreasonable in light of the current situation, then you don't really have to fight it's a choice that you're making. One of the issues that comes from these situations is that the courts are never actually there and evaluating things based on the information that's available to the people at the time.
Ofc its not worth it. its not like they are there to give you something or help you. Makes complete sense.
@@SmallSpoonBrigade my philosophy exactly. I'll do whatever I can (within reason) to avoid a physical confrontation just for the reason you stated, as in I have no idea what they will do or how far they will go and there are zero rules, regulations, or referees to stop them....with that in mind if they are utterly determined to incite violence then i can, with a clear conscience, go no holds barred and I will use any tactic within my means to disable them.
To me, there is no such thing as fighting dirty when you have no knowledge of the other person and literally anything, even by accident, can end your life. It's all or nothing when "backed into a corner".
It all boils down to situational awareness. It's key to managing any situation.
You can't be always aware of situation you are in. Most of the time I am just in my head thinking my own thoughts don't give 2 shits about what is around me.
@@JustChill-zd4ibLike with anything, you can train it. Practice it until it becomes instinct.
When I was 13, my dad told me, “if someone stares at you or mean mugs you, look away. What? You think lasers are going to shoot out of your eyes if you stare back? It’s not about what people say or how hard they stare at you, it’s about what people do that matters. Then, you fight.” My father taught me how to box, him being a boxer himself. 15 years later, I’m now training my son.
This is my take on it too.
solid advice
I always look away from a stare, but it's like I commented somewhere else, I want to be ready for the violence I know is coming. If you're in a staring contest with someone you can get tunnel vision and not see a punch or kick coming. Best to look down slightly, at the chin or chest, and open up your awareness, and get yourself balanced and ready to fight.
Yea , people looking for a fight, avoid if possible works
@@FH-cn3mg agreed, as well as when you’re in your stance.
Great advice. Thank you. Stand your ground but don't be agressive. Prepare for a violent response, but don't initiate. And if you aren't prepared, consider self defence training. And avoid any negative interaction if possible. De-escalation is so important. Don't bite. Keep calm. Often it's down to Psychology. I spent many years in Psychiactric units were you had to stand your ground. Calmly but with resolute purpose (because your life sometimes depended on it). Have fleeting eye contact. But don''t back down. That can be perceived as weakness. I have used the 'Psychiactric stare' many times 🤣And find a way to get out of the situation if possible. Usually it's where is the escape route, because sometimes people are just set on violence. If you can de-escalate all the better. If you can find an exit... take it. If you can't, well, last resort .... prepare to defend yourself. We are really quite primitive creatures really. We haven't evolved that much.
As an Iraq/Afghanistan war vet I can still when needed affect the 1000-yard stare, this blank, heartless look has helped me avoid having to cause harm to people who have singled me out for bad intent. Another key to avoiding violence is maintaining calm, a bully is looking for fear and panic. If he does not elicit the response he seeks he will more likely walk away rather than risk attacking somebody with superior skill and/or experience. This may not work if the person is crazy, blackout drunk, or on drugs as they are not using their brain anyway. Then your best bet becomes the doctrine of rapid dominance.
Overwhelming force to the weakest point of the body you can reach. The eyes, the throat, the testicles, and the knee are always the best points of attack to rapidly eliminate a threat. It is not a gun that kills, it is a hard heart that kills. The same goes for the use of violence in personal defense.
If a person is willing to use overwhelming force to defend themselves, that person becomes far less likely to become a target.
No you act strange around people ,almost God like ego because you served in military. Sense of dominance. I think you war vets are nutters, and don't like that kinda people anywhere near me.
Thank you for your service.
Have used some of what you outlined before. Very effective.
You were a motor pool mechanic weren't you 😂
Hey Daniel, just because you were duped into fighting in 2 bogus wars, doesn't me you can whoop anybody who talks smack to you. The ego you military vets have is ridiculous. Get over yourself and stop acting strange towards people. I'm the guy that could take your ego down a peg or 3. And I'm not stupid enough to join the military. I'm a militia man, not a "get some" war mongrel like you.
This is valuable and very true. Spent most of my 20s doing mma. Never got in to a street fight. No harm in walking away.... for me personally i have nothing to prove. I have found most people who start street fights have no clue on how to fight anyway
Damn truth
You don't need to know how to fight or be fighting a trained MMA fighter for your ticket to be punched. More likely to die from TBI from an Untrained fighter as opposed to a trained one. So, your last point is of zero comfort or relevance to people who may find themselves in confrontation. All it takes is your brain to jiggle in the right way.
True. However, I'd like to poin out "most".
Some, maybe a few combine martial arts with a street practice. In my 20s I met a leader of the gang who appeared to be a karete kid too. We were 4 guys and one lady, they were 4 guys. The first in our comaoney who was ignoring him got an immediate punch in the face - the easiest victim. A friend of mine threw some kicks on him but it was a draw. A gas pistol did not work. We were being thrown with stones, they luckily landed smashing and scratching cars. They were about 7. At the end we ran into a casino and called a taxi, but in that hood more than 10, 40 year olds showed up. Luckilly, we escaped. But they I sensed that they had no fear and it could have ended with somebody walking up in the intense care if at all.
To sum it up, it is unethical to coach somebody in martial arts who can't control his impulses, but the master cannot always be aware how dark the soul is.
I feel fairly confident I could beat you. Just saying...
@@kevinchamberlain7928 cool.
Good advice. From lots of street fighting experience, I can promise you that there are people out there that are literally looking for any excuse to fight. That's their goal for the night - to beat somebody up. Doesn't matter who it is. Naive people think just because they aren't doing anything aggressive, they are safe in a crowd or out on the street. So when somebody gets in your face for no reason, don't think you can argue your way out of it. There is no reason and you've just been "chosen". So stand tall, say things like "hey man, I don't have any beef with you. I'm cool. No problem. Just want to get home and get out of your way." And then also do everything this guy ^^^ said. Maintain eye contact so they can't surprise you, slowly walk away, and keep an eye on him and especially all his buddies. They'll hit you too. If they are mean enough to start a fight in the street with a rando, they are dangerous as heck, have tons of fighting experience (they do this nightly or weekly) and you will. not. win. You'll wake up in the hospital if you're lucky.
please tell us more about your lots of street fighting experience
@@jasonprostathamhe’s saying that they do
And you just described why I always keep my clip full!
Mate of mine had this happen at a pub, the antagonist was thrown out and they were waiting for him in that crowd outside. He had no idea why or who they were... anyway as he left he took a mouth full of water and as he left out his hand over his mouth spitting little bits of water through his fingers like he was about to vomit everywhere. They darted out of the way and he kept going jumping into a cab and riding off before they could do a thing.
Ah, like he was gonna spew! 🤮
Nice made up story. Got others?
@@usaman7358 I don't think he make it up at all, it wasn't his first rodeo (he's been targeted before) and he's not the kind of guy to make stories up... Also he's not a pretentious tosser who goes onto other people's posts and accuses them of this either.
@@usaman7358Ah... mind reading come in handy for you?
It is kind of funny how people can be. Vomit may be nasty. Though blood is as well and potentially pathogenic.
A good way to avoid trouble is don't do "stupid". Don't go to stupid places at stupid times with stupid people or do stupid stuff.
But the stupid tends to comes to you. To your countries, in your neighbourhoods, in your himes
Maybe at one time in specific places, but that's not possible today because of the widespread prevalence of the belligerence-as-virtue movement, a.k.a. ASPD.
@@devilsoffspring5519"Belligerence-as-virtue". Solid line, especially with the tie-in to Anti-Social psychopathology. Lasch's _Culture Of Narcissism_ has more than come to pass; it's at its fullest flower, and Caligula's circus is alive and well in the cognitive plague vectors that are social media. As the line goes, "Humans are chimps with car keys."
The tip to look at bad people is so stupid. It triggers many of them. Ignoring can be better
Yesss,,, you got THAT right about how one should "NOT do stupid",, or "go to Stupid places at Stupid times" or "do Stupid stuff" (if U care about staying OUT of danger). Example of personal lesson learned almost the hard way as all this happened (geeesh) almost 13 years ago. Anyway,, a Friday evening, 1st week of May,,, 2011. I was living and working just outside Barstow, Calif. For the hell of it, I decided to (blindly) drop into a bar,, I had never visited before and knew nothing about. Me being a naive youngster, I strolled on in (and ALONE). Almost immediately,, one of the local patrons (realizing I was a newcomer) took a bar seat right next to me and started more or less intimidating me. He was a husky,, stocky (biker-type) looking Hispanic guy. He asked me "what in the hell I was doing inside a bar like that,, not knowing anyone and all by myself". I sort of brushed him off with my response. At that moment,, he put his hand on my shoulder and said: "OK bud,, listen up. You know,, and I know,, that you do not belong in here. NO one in here knows you. Good question as to why you would drop in here anyway. I will give you about 20 minutes to finish your beer,, then you need to get your butt OUT of here. You really SHOULD do that if you don't want to end up getting hurt by someone in here." That said,, I TOOK his advice, finished my beer,, i paid the bartender,, then I hightailed it OUT of there.
I'm currently a security guard, overnight in DTLA, near skid row. I have to say this is all perfectly perfectly precisely spot on. Your verbal skills are tremendously useful for de-escalation as well. Be cool, speak casually.
You must deal with a lot , I live in LA near downtown
An Irish man in LA. Nothing you can’t handle. 🇮🇪
@@MaloneysDigest Haha, nice! As my late brother would say, "As an Irishman I'm allergic to whiskey; it makes my knuckles bloody." 😏 That said, let me tell you an Irish joke:
There's this Irishman, and he walks past a bar -- hey, it can happen! 😜
I hope you keep a rocket in your pocket just in case. Some maggots won't respond to an attempt at deescalation. That is when you need your pocket rocket.
@@captaincapitalism264 hahaha. Was that joke about me? 🥴
Situational awareness, as mentioned in the video, is crucial. I always scan my environment and look for any potential threats and watch them. If appropriate, I'll acknowledge them with a smile and downward nod. And by all means don't be afraid to retreat from the situation if you feel it's getting too hot. For me, if the other guy tries to escalate into a staring war then that's my cue to look for ways to retreat. As I got older I have learned that there is no shame in retreat if it means being spared from getting into an ego fight.
Right on the money!!! "Ego" is the nemesis of all humanity!!!
Just good advice for those situations that are best avoided in the first place.
Same bro
All great points. I agree that it's easy to say "Don't get pulled into a conflict," but it fails to acknowledge that at any time you can be FORCED into a scuffle or worse. One key element that I have learned (with physical as well as non physical confrontation, and especially for men) is to priority the long term effects of your decision re your attitude and actions. Don't simply default to the safe way out of each such encounter, but consider how you will feel about yourself afterward. BTW, I'm not including a scenario where you are out numbered, out gunned, et cetera and the obvious choice is to run and escape with your life. I am talking about a scenario where you need to stand up for yourself or display so level of opposition, even if it costs you something. Why? Because you will feel like you reacted in a weak and timid way in the face of intimidation, and this will haunt you. From then on, you will feel this every time you recall the incident and will come to realize this unpleasant memory is much worse than a potential busted lip or torn clothes that you might have suffered had you stood up for yourself. And if you allow this to happen repeatedly, it will begin to eat away at your soul. Depending of the situation, making direct, brief eye contact with someone who is mad-dogging you (as you described) can be enough to satisfy what I am talking about, versus cowering and behaving like prey. This philosophical principle is applicable to countless life situations. I like to phrase it like this; "Don't do what's convenient at the moment, but what you can live with."
Rule #1. Nothing good happens after midnight
where?
... and with alcohol in poor neighborhoods.
Yeah. I don’t drink alcohol or go to clubs or stay out after dark. But shit can happen in broad day light. Generally I just don’t go around the slums. Sucks for people that live in those places and large cities
Sexxx
Gremlins happen after midnight and nothing wrong with that
I've been a student of mixed martial arts for probably 25 years or so so I'm pretty confident in my skill set to protect myself and my family. I think all you need is a strong mind. And be able to actually speak to people in a de-escalating manner. But people do have a tendency to stare. I just smile back when they stare me a little too long and then they smile. A little smile goes a long way lol.
Good advice.
Yeah I'm sure that classroom experience and lack of real world experience makes your opinion worthwhile
I had the same experience too. I was taking photos in a street in a foreign country. There was a guy across the road staring sharply at me. I just smiled and lifted my head as if to say 'hi', his sharp look instantly eased, he smiled back and lifted up the cup of tea he was drinking too great me back.
@@didamnesia3575wow, you must have a lot in order to speak up. Where can I buy your course?
This is the most important thing you said: "be able to actually speak to people in a de-escalating manner."
I'm not into MMA, but I am naturally strong. It's genetics. I'm not tall, but I am heavy. In high school, I could climb the rope hand over hand without using my feet. I'm also a nerd. There were bullies at my high school, but they left me alone.
There was one incident when a girl in the disabled class asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance on our walk to P.E. A fat guy saw it and ran ahead to tell everyone so they could laugh at me. He wasn't a bad person, he was just trying to fit in. Anyway, when I got to class all of the boys were laughing at me. I went straight to the fat guy who started it and grabbed his throat and pushed him. He got amped up and said I had angered him and he wouldn't stop.
The boys wanted a fight, but they didn't get it. I said, "She's a human being. I'm sorry that you don't understand that."
He immediately melted. All he could say was, "I'm sorry." I was angry, but I didn't want to fight. I wanted him to understand that he was wrong and I wanted him to feel it.
As someone who's worked in bars & clubs for 35 years now, I can honestly say without hesitation that clubs, bars, and their relative precincts are dangerous places after-dark, and especially after midnight. You might not be able to always avoid trouble during the day, but being in bars/clubs/entertainment-precincts after-dark greatly increases your chances of encountering trouble, because inebriated people have lower inhibitions are more easily provoked
Spirits are called spirits for a reason😂
Every fight I ever saw, or been involved in.was after dark. So I agree 👍
My grandfather always said, not much good comes from being out after midnight
You can almost always smell and feel trouble when you walk into a room long before it happens. The mistake is trying to discount your unease and play it off as nerves. It's your body telling you exactly what's about to happen. Listen to that voice. Yes, sometimes trouble just appears with no warning but more often you smell it in the air long before it goes down.
Nothing good happens after midnight lol
This video works!
I was confronted on the street by one of these crazies. He followed me on a motorcycle after I made a right turn on red. I saw him leave his lane, turn after to follow me. I pulled my car off (100 yards) at my destination and saw him pull to a stop behind my car. I exited my vehicle, in a normal manner, and turned to him letting him know I was aware of the situation. He screams through his helmet "That was not a turn lane!" I answered back "You're right!" He repeats his scream. I tell him he is right - what do you want me to do about it now. He bolts off his bike and gets right in front of me. He is wearing a full face helmet, (never did really see into his eyes clearly) leather vest (with a patch that says "White Trash.") He is a full head taller than me and 30 years younger than me. In this situation he was armored up and I was a soft target wearing my teacher work clothes. I stood my ground by my car. Here is the crazy part he yells that I intimidated him by the way I got out of my car! I see him glancing at the stickers on my car (US Army, An M1 tank that says come and take it). He hesitates. Screams again that it was not a turn lane. I go "Yea I know what do you want me to do about it now?" I really wanted to go off, thought of my wife, but kept emotionless and direct. He paused seeming at a loss for words. He looks down at me and says "I want you to shut the f@#! up and go about your business." I silently counted to 3 and calmly and slowly then said "I will go about my business." I was not going to let some bozo tell me to shut up. I turned my back on him - storefront glass was my mirror - and walked into the store. He remained frozen out there for thirty seconds or so almost appearing to tremble. Got on his bike and drove off. I was rattled, but don't think it showed, and it easily could have ended really bad for me. The guy would have cleaned my clock! These fight situations are so dicey.
Another point - nobody in the area would have come to help me out. It was 4 in the afternoon. Normally I would have been armed but work in a different state from home, and employment will not allow me to bring it on their property.
I got bullied ruthlessly when I was a kid. I had to fight. Eventually started winning. I hate fighting, I just happen to be really damn good at it. I have zero tolerance for bullies. Of course my head is a lot cooler nowadays. Cheers
You know I believe that we wouldn't see nearly as much bullying if anti-bullying classroom material were emphasized as much as useless bullshit like the rote memorization of trigonometric formulas or the intricacies of the Sumarian culture. If anti-bullying was actually taught as a class, society wouldn't be as fucked up as it is. what do you think?
@@WolframtheBlessed3499 Nah, it would still be the same! Narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths are real, no amount of "training" is going to stop who they are on the inside! Train to protect yourself and your family, because one day you will have to!!
i farted the other day, and it was infinitely more meaningful than a bunch of insecure "men" exchanging stories about what "works" on other "men" what is everyone, FIVE YEARS OLD???!?!?!?!?!?!
Most dudes who fight a lot are terrible athletes.
I was bullied to, I beat the hell out of them and their friends to, they left me alone!
One thing I would add when using situational awareness when dealing with someone that means to sucker punch you is to make sure use all your senses. Use your hearing to listen for quick movements, especially if they're moving quickly up behind you to throw the punch. Same with feeling the ground. Running comes with heavier footfalls. Using vision is absolutely important and I agree completely with this video so train with an wholistic approach which will make your proprioception even greater.
He literally said this...
Holistic*
@@ohokcool nah wholelistic works because he's being holistic and taking the "whole" situation into account!
I have came across guys that are confident with there mates but not confident alone, to a degree there just posers but still make space and look civil but confident, never portray a victim.
Used to experience this a lot growing up in the UK. Then I moved to Sweden 12 years ago and not had one single encounter. Too many aggressive drunken pointless societies out there. I'm glad I found peace and respect.
When I left the military situational awareness was automatic my head was always on a swivel accessing threat level and exits . Now as an old man I have changed like I thought I would but the exit is my preferred option, never argue about anything with strangers.
It's taken me a while to realize that this is the best strategy, escape and evasion are legitimate military tactics. It's considerate too- they don't want to go to the hospital, I don't want to go to court or prison. Both of us win.
@@Chunda8 True there is nothing to prove to anyone, besides I want to be able to watch my Grandchildren grow up.
I will always be infantry!! Approach me suddenly in an aggressive manner, and you will get something that you will never forget 😮
Good advice! A couple of decades ago I rode a bus in SF with my wife and baby son, and an angry guy complained to me that I should speak English (though my wife and I speak English very well, we like to converse in Japanese and Dutch, our respective native languages). We got off at the next stop. It is just not worth the risk of injury or worse to my family.
@@SurfinScientist in El Paso, Texas, some people will demand we (non-Spanish speakers) speak Spanish. And when I try, they don't hesitate to laugh in my face.
Go figure.
1) Don’t get rattled
2) Be as calm as zen
3) Look right back
4) Enjoy the moment
Cap
5) make a remark about their mom
5) live
6) laugh
7) love
#blessed
8) Tell them they're beautiful
9) blow a kiss
I'm glad I don't need or associate with anybody that needs this advice.
It's easy to avoid danger when you hide in your room all day
That's pretty naive.
This is such important information, my Dad always taught me to flat out ignore people like this and like you said it can actually infuriate them. I have personally noticed the difference from when I avoid eye contact compared to when I give them a good solid look (but not a long stare) is usually enough to make them feel like you're no pushover. It's a tricky balance, because you don't want to start fights but at the same time don't give off the message you're an easy target.
There's a 3rd option to play in the city. The wildcard. Look around aimlessly with eyes wide open and visibly mumbling to yourself until you work your way out the area. Assholes tend to avoid unpredictable wildcards and move on unless you engage. You're probably not a threat to their ego and you might be insane.
Like they say,you have to know,your mark.
Be very careful taking advice from people like this guy.. If your not ready to fight or die avoid eye contact. Some bad people just needs an excuse to hurt someone, it could be simple as making an eye contact. If you want to avoid trouble the best way is to leave.. and if you cant leave .. always hit first.. most of the time it will mess up the other persons confidents and you have a better chance of surviving. Always avoid getting hit first , because one punch can change everything , meaning life or death.. If your k.oed they can do what ever they want to u and you are Fck.
What situations you guys go to to need all this defence knowledge lmao I never had any such issues just always ignored people I was not interested in and never had trouble. Why would you look some crazy in the eye? Makes no sense to me.
You are extremely lucky to have never encountered these kinds of situations throughout your life. - or you come from a place where there isn’t a lot of violent crime etc. - all assumptions aside, the world is a cruel and callous place, kids get bullied and beaten up at school for being soft and quiet, people get mugged, stabbed, beaten, and murdered everyday, many at random and people that look like “an easy target”…
It is of the upmost importance for anyone to learn how to physically defend themselves. It is a vital skill, which might just save your life one day as it has mine and many others on more than one occasion.
I was down at a local pub the day after a local footy team (Aussie rules football AFL) played an interstate team. There was a group of out of towners drinking near me and my missus. One was a Maori fella with the face tats and looked mean enough. He's staring over at me for a while I was wearing sunnies and looked slightly away from his stare but was watching him. I told the missus that bother may be on the way then he got up and walked over, I said to my missus, here we go, he comes up introduced himself and just wanted to talk about and meet my 5 kg Jack Russell bitch i have sitting on my lap. He's got 3 of them and said mine was a beauty and he can't wait to get back home to his dogs. Ya gotta be careful and not assume, if it was some other dude I probably wouldn't have worried about the situation
This sounds so Australian.. I met an Aussie in Munich at Octoberfest and he was travelling alone...He sat with us at our table in the Hofbrau Haus and he was the funniest most coolest guy...I hope he is well wherever he may be
He doesn't need to stare anyway. Just wave smile and walk over to you.
we are all the same Ive lived and experienced this my whole life what you described is my full time reality ... i limit contact the older i get thats been the only remedy of sorts or a good bottle of jacks lmao ...perth side out
Best comment! 😊
I totally read this with an Australian accent.
Situational awareness combined with quick instinct will keep you alive for another day. I've avoided so many bad situations by making that eye contact and a quick head nod down and up and just continuing on my way. My dad use to tell me "if you get in a ifght, you're going to get hit." and "there's no such thing as a fair fight.". I particularly like not getting hit or stabbed and so in the few seconds you have to react to a stare, go with your instinct but always be prepared for anything. The reflections in the environment is a priceless tool. 36t0 degree view with a few glances while pumping gas, ATM, etc.
I haven't been a fight in many years at this point. Part of it is because I'm about the size of Mike Tyson and I can put most adults down with one blow. But, a large part of it is avoiding being places where I can't just back down or avoid the problem to begin with.
Your Dad would probably like my Dad. He spent several years in the USMC and advised me to leave a brick at the backdoor of a bar in case I needed it and then be the last one out the door if there was going to be a fight. It took me a while to understand that he was saying to be prepared ahead of time if I was going to have a barroom scrap and that the other side couldn't be counted on to fight fair, I just needed to be prepared to end it before they could.
Personally, I haven't needed to use the advice, but I do make every effort to have the situational awareness to avoid being in that spot, but if I do get in a scrape, I will fight as dirty as I can because if it's not important enough to cheat at, then it's not a fight that I have to be in/win in the first place.
Interesting tips. It is a difficult situation to be in. The key is to recognize your situation and get mentally ready to protect yourself if necessary. Fight or flight. Usually, its one or the other. Best to get away from the situation if possible. If not, good luck.
Good video, as always. I work at a Sheriff's Office County Jail and a CPI instructor. What I do when someone is staring at me is mostly the head nod downward, and that tends to work. When it's a very serious stare, I stare back then stare at their feet for 5-10 seconds, and that throws them off completely!
Great stuff! I also have experienced that if you don't look back and make some acknowledgement, they can also take it as being disrespected, which can also set things off.
The problem usually is that men don’t just stare, they impose their will upon you, I.E. force you to move with their body wether they are real or trying to act tough! I don’t accept that and I put my arm up or both arms to go ahead and force them to either take a step back or put up or shut up, because at any moment they can attack and once your on the ground it can be very hard to get back up! I’m no Superman, but after being jumped twice in my life, I vowed their would never be a third!
Staring at the feet. That's a good one. It makes them think wtf is he looking at?
Interesting. It gives the impression that you are formulating a plan forcing him to momentarily change his thinking and plan. If he tries something while you are looking down, he will telegraph his intentions by shifting his hips first and then his feet. Keep his hands in your field of view for possible weapons.
Staring is weird. They must be a bit gay or something. I would feel like one if I stared at dudes like that.
Instant subscribe. I went down the TH-cam rabbit hole and ended up with a bunch of recommendations on self defense. I can say, that the best fight you'll ever have is the one you were able to avoid because you read all the signs for posturing and you took active steps to "inform" how things were going to go.
Also, in my honest opinion...anxiety and hypervigiliance, which are typically both a nuisance to have, actually serve as a helper and not a hinderer of survival.
You are right, anxiety motivates actions for self defense, and hypervigilance can be a habit that runs in the background when in sketchy circumstances so one can focus on other things but still have a part of you looking out for shit:)
@@creativemetalworker hyper- vigilance is my default setting all the time. It's a great skill to have and I have been criticized for it but it has saved my life I'm sure many times. I plan escape routes where I know that area just in case. One night, several years ago I was leaving my dog grooming business, I told my assistant to go to the van, she started crossing the street instead. Just then a light flash of a gun, and a guy at the pay phone was shot across the street. I had already determined my escape route to the alley, where it was dark. My assistant complained that by the time she turned around I was gone. If bullets are flying, it's everyone for himself. I took it all in, seconds to make decisions, I'm not waiting for anyone else to figure out what is happening.
Good info here, I grew up in a rough neighborhood on the outskirts of Buenos Aires and we were on situational awareness before it was a thing, first rule I always follow is if possible don't put yourself in a situation where you may need to defend yourself, second always walk like you belong there even if isn't your neck of the woods but here's the fence line, don't walm like you are a big shot or own the street that will attract challenges, don't go to stupid places at stupid hours and there's nothing wrong with evasion, remember you don't have to accept all fight invitations l, the best way to win a fight is to not be in it.
He played polo and learnt perfect English in his slum
I love the Number one. You can tell instantly if a person says "just ignore it", they have never been had to fight for their life.
Great advice. You win every fight you avoid…..
Hear, hear. Solid video. I thankfully deescalated several potentially bad situations back in my 20s-30s by controlling both myself and the situation as best able (considering the individual circumstances). The correct amount/type of eye contact, body language, and humor (aka creation of empathy by humanization) can work wonders in most situations. As silly as it sounds, some of the strongest advice about conflict I've learned is from the movie Roadhouse (1989); be nice. Be nice until it's time not to be nice. The key is learning to recognize (and hopefully avoid) that moment.
Roadhouse is a fantastic movie. I miss good movies. All garbage now
I was a bouncer in a jiggle bar and at a big nightclub/bar back in my 20's. I avoided more conflict with the being "nice" and using humor. In my 8 or so years of working those gigs, I only had to hit about 3 people.
Years ago I loved to pick on bullies, loved it. Then I realized I was being a bully to them. Peace is a better option. But knowing how to fight is essential.
I got confronted in Brooklyn awhile back for no good reason in broad daylight, I tried to deescalate, I apologized for "cutting him off" which I wasn't even aware that I did, at which point he said "what, you trying to cop out?" It was at that point I simply darted through him, not away from him, and just high tailed it to the subway. He was trying to pull me into his energy, and he was looking for justification to strike, which I didn't give him. Remaining calm is paramount--in a strange way it respects the adversary and yourself.
Great advice actually. For those who watched the whole video and actually listened. Stay present and aware, deescalate, strategically retreat.
No one wins if you end up fighting.
I usually win the stare down. I learned a trick a long time ago and I'll share it with you. If someone is trying to intimidate you and getting violent smile at them like they just made you the happiest person in the world for giving you a target to unload your decades of rage on. Usually at that point I'm not talking to the person trying to intimidate me anymore. I'm thinking about where I'm going to hit them and what moves I'm going to try. Something about KNOWING that I'm already thinking about the fight and not the intimidation at all and that I look like I'm gonna enjoy it. My antagonist has always sensed it. It has always made people walk away. Often looking pale and like they have seen death himself.
That smile works. Always make sure he knows you're ready to lunge and that you yourself are ready to do it. That and you keep your eye contact to them at all times. And yes, you have to committ to it to the point that you get at opportunity to pop up behind them the second the turn their back. I don't know why people hate it when I do that.
Had an encounter with the hardest guy in the area “ He eventually told me he was gonna kill me” my reply “ I,m gonna kill you back” he burst out laughing 😂😂
Just make sure you got proper training before you smile... especially Judo, wrestling, and Muay Thai are deadly self-defense. other than that just walk away...
@@jpnphom5470 Kick boxing and shito ryu Karate. I picked up some grappling from some friends I train with. :)
Good that beats 90% of the people...
I NEVER LOOK AWAY AND I SEE THEM WALK AWAY EVERY TIME, I WILL DO THIS EVERY TIME IT WORKS FOR ME ALL THE TIME
My go to is a friendly, confident greeting. Or maybe just a smile. It tells them three things right off the bat: you're paying attention, you're not a threat, and you're not afraid. Most predators will move on to easier prey, and most ego fighters prefer to have someone who'll match their belligerence.
I do the same and if they are close I even extend my hand to shake. Then you see who is just full of it and who really wants a piece of you. I have seen guys getting confused or flustered by this action. For me getting up close works because I know how to fight, take a blow and punish back. Now, if it is a big group, 3 or more I stay away but still greet and smile.
@@john_doe_smith3 or more just means my associates may be greeting them too. Smith and Wesson are nice guys if you don't get on their bad side.
@@spidergoose891 If you can't learn to be unafraid without a gun, you'll never be unafraid with one. Also, 4 vs 1 in close quarters are BAD odds even if you have a gun. Close quarters removes the advantage of your ranged attack. Stay safe.
@@TrigonsTrailers who said anything about afraid or close quarters? If you're outnumbered, don't let them get close.
@@spidergoose891 The person you replied to mentioned both.
Wise words. A friend of mine, a trauma surgeon, once said: "if people knew how difficult is to repair one's bones, they wouldn't go along breaking them" . Anyway, knowing how to easily break the offender bones, usually gets You out of these situations.
This does work most of the time. Before I had ever been in a fight I was terrified of getting into one. Just not backing down and displaying confidence even when I didn't have any saved me so many times. Bullys want an easy target. As I got older I learned how to take care of myself somewhat and it even boosted my confidence more for situations like this. It won't work every time though so def learn some self defense. Some people are just out to cause damage and damage themselves
First, I love these videos, so much food for thought. Thanks!
Second, on a busy tube train in London, I got eye-balled by a man a few breaths away from me.
My reaction was to acknowledge him and stare back, though it was hard not to start a confrontation.
The train was crowded enough to speak loudly in a way that might have been seen as intimidating, though I simply asked him why he’s looking at me.
Looking back at it, he started chewing gum, I started chewing gum, he eventually got off… and I sighed relief.
Who wants to have a fight with a random guy, it’s unnecessary? What was his problem?
Basically, I’m glad I didn’t give him the satisfaction. But it’s good to reflect on what I could have done better.
What I just realized, is that in many of the situations, in which I ended up fighting, I was just staring at the person for some time. Maybe it could have not escalated the situation, if I didn't stare, but at least I am still alive and intact, so it worked fine. And on the other hand, I had many situations, in which people, from whom I've sensed closet aggression, stepped away, because I was staring at them. Usually, my go-to in the stare-kind-of-situations is look in the eyes for 5-8 seconds, slowly look down at the shoes and go back. Sometimes I move on, if I decide, that this person likely doesn't pose a threat, but sometimes I come back at the head level with my eyes and continue the eye contact, waiting for his next move. This way I, intentionally or not, show a person, that I acknowledge him and especially him in the environment and actually evaluate the situation via understanding, what he is, where his arms are, if he is carrying something, or his arms are in his pockets, checking the stance, if he is in the position to sprint to me, or he has his legs behind one another and so on. Never ever had I been sucker punched or experienced a surprise attack. Even though my knuckles are scarred because of the amount of fights, my nose has a scar, my arm is cut, all that happened, happed to me in a non-surprising manner. Russia is sometimes a cruel place, so some awareness can go a long way.
Russia is tough environment.
It will work on the mutts sure.
Your overt situational awareness likely invited the conflict that you may (or may not ) be seeking to avoid, yet was interpreted as an invitation or a threat by the other person. Gunslingers attract gunslingers. There's always someone looking for a fight, for many-a reason. Others understand it, and identified you as a willing 'Saturday-night-sport' combatant or a genuine threat. Go to a monkey park and see what happens when you stare-down a male primate. No...don't do that.
4:46 this is great advice. I have been in many situations and can handle them comfortably. But leaving a bad situation is sometimes the best method, definitely so if you are alone. We don’t leave friends 👊🏻
One thing after being caught unintentionally in a staring match, is not to get out of it by looking down (which is submissive but also acknowledges that you recognise the conflict) but by looking up and to the side with a bored/blank look on your face. And then just act normal like the staring never happened.
Only weak people think like this. Say Hi or just go about your day. I don't care if you stare at me or not. Start walking towards me and staring then that's a different matter. It's called situational awareness.
Most people aren't comfortable with violence. It's moulded me so I don't think like the average folk.
I break off the 'stare' with a big GRIN! Not a 'smart-ass", but a nice, respectful smile! Works for me!
I look at them for a second, and if a down-nod, or an up-nod don't work, or a raised eyebrow, I act like something more interesting gets my attention and make an interested face at whatever it is. usually they want to look too. gold-fish attention spans.
@@Probabilityislife I don’t think so,smart people think like that..if you can avoid a fight you should,by looking away bored,uninterested and unconcerned will put some doubt in the aggressors mind and that can usually do the trick of moving him on to a weaker target as most of these guys want an easy target…generally I think they know when someone can or cannot handle themselves..what do you think?
Yes Garry l think they can sense it like animals
Mines an awkward situation where we work opposite each other so always look at each other 🤣😭
I'm going towards my mid sixties now and I've worked on the doors and behind the bar, I've seen these drunken bullies many times. I do not back down to them, cowards. On several occasions I had blokes come up to me and say, "What you f///ing looking at". very aggressively. I just say with a smile, " I'm looking at someone who is looking at me". That throws them off. Never show fear.
I am 5 ft 5 in, 11 st and jog, cycle and do weights, I've done this since I was a gymnast in the early late seventies. I have had blokes over 6 ft pick on me because of my size. They never pick on me again.
I say the same thing to the what are you looking at question.
I'm looking at you, and you know that, so exactly why are you asking such a dumb question? There's no rules for that. Lol
My friend rory is small and quiet. Very friendly and sweet person.
He was also a state champion wrestler and teaches wrestling at a private school.
I have seen him politely tell bullies to stop. And then warn them if they touch him they will regret it.
They almost always touch him.
They always regret it.
Seen him climb a 6 foot something beast and choke him to sleep more then once.
@@TonyMarselle sounds like a champion over Billy a-holes - bravo! Meanwhile… Maybe he’s hanging out at the wrong places…?
@@rhythmfield with the wrong people too but I kinda think that's on purpose.
@TonyMarselle Well, you have to admire the big guy's tenacity! If he kept wanting to fight after the first nighty night, he's got more gumption than most, let alone your buddy having to put him out more than once. 😜
Dont argue or push. When you get to the point that violence is unavoidable, be sure to punch first. I spent a few years in gladiator school. Juvenile maximum security. I fought 2 or 3 times a week. I used to like it. I have since realized that it was a sickness and do my best not to go back. I have several impact split scars above my eyes and my family say i walk differently than other people. You can tell a killer when you see one. Most people never get the chance to see a truely dangerous person.
I love this video. This guy is not giving you a bunch of moralistic bs. He is telling you straight up how humans work in conflict.
Just because something can walk about on two legs doesn't necessarily make it a (civilized) Human...
Really good points. Turning your body 45 degrees away from the person can also be crucial. Being turned toward the person can be seen as a direct provocation. The opposite applies when you do need to make a stand.
I was bullied all through school. When i left i vowed never to be bullied again. I worked hard in a very physical job, built muscle and learnt that it is fear that makes you able to be brave. I worked with dangerous dogs and used kindness to calm them, but also developed a look that worked where kindness did not. In a situation knowing and being aware of what and who is around you is of paramount importance.
Inspiring and relatable, especially "learnt that it is fear that makes you able to be brave". The school bully did me a life favor: learning kick boxing at 18. Self-confidence was probably the best component. I saw that bully at a party 25 years later; he didn't like my gaze and wouldn't say hello.
Muscle means nothing
Then everyone clapped. And that man's name? Albert Einstein
@@joebot9309Tell that to pro fighters
@@johnny2demax too deep, go back, you are sinking in your own irony
Firstly, I agree with everything you've said. Yes. All true. You have a very good understanding of the psychology of violence.
However, I think it's important to remember that there is no magic formula for dealing with a situation. Every one is different and you have to get a feel for it.
I grew up in Merseyside, and the Birkenhead of the 80's and early 90's was a very violent place.
"What are you looking at!?" Smack! was a daily occurrence. If some helmet has decided he's going to smack some innocent character who's just walking past,....that's what he'll do.
The best strategy is not to be there in the first place. Unhelpful I know, but true.
The best thing is to be pro-abortion, we have enough losers in this world.
Yeah... those places sound like bad idea to be at.
For years, I avoid eye contact as if I am in my own world. Whenever its necessary, I will give a potential aggressor that psychotic look. The deranged look normally deescalates the potential confrontation. Sometimes the threat is much bigger and stronger. It has worked for me because that crazy look makes those bad guys for some reason think twice. I have been using that look for 68 years and count my blessings.
what's the deranged look, the cross eyed look?
Hard for me,when they're all built like Rambo.😢
@@metsrus no, not cross eyed. the psychotic look says
"I will kill you mother fuc$#r if you touch me and you put your hands on me your life will never be the same." That look has saved me a countless number of times.
@@Suve35967 it is a mind set and a feeling that you are deranged. deranged to the point that you will grab the closest thing around you and practically destroy the aggressor. as I said, it has worked for me on a number of tense situations.
It’s called the thousand yard stare!👍
These are some very good takes, which i naturally applied several times. 41yo and still going without any significant ego battle interaction, although i grew up in a relatively tough neighborhood.
This deserves more views.
My uncle always told me that if you're being troubled by a group, size up who the leader is. If something starts, take him out first. The rest will go scrambling.
On the rare occasion that I've had this happen to me, his advice worked.
if you take out the small one at once, the other gets a message too
I was at a concert with a couple of friends several years ago. Some guy about a foot shorter than me walked up and threw his cup down and was like 'Hey can you pick that up?' I looked him right in the eye and said 'Point out the moron who sent you over here to get your skull bashed in?' That dude's face went from teen brat to 'Oh Sh-t!' I think the fact that I knew WHY he was there doing that scared him. He had that look like 'Dude's reading my mind and it freaks me out.' He looked back at a group that was about 15 or 20 back behind us and then he picked the cup up, tried to shake my hand and apologized then walked off. I kept my eye on that group for over an hour before I took my attention away.
Or just don't be a knob and you won't attract the attention in the first place
Running from a threat will save your life from a nut with a gun. It doesn't mean your a coward...it means your smarter than him.
I grew up in the ghettos and this is very true I learned to hit first and fast and most of the time the others ran
There is a technique for breaking a stare that I learned from a primatologist. I call it the slow blink break. As long as you have a safe cushion of distance, break the stare by slowly, deliberately blinking once, and breaking the stare as your eyes close. Between many primates, this expresses confidence and a slight air of dismissal. I've made it work many, many, times to defuse the situation.
I use the same technique to make cats come over to me.
What I do that works every single time9so far), is when I catch someone staring, I look directly at them and meet their gaze for 1-2 seconds and look away as if it doesn't bother me(this is almost like saying here, you can win your little staring contest I don't care), if I can tell they are still be looking at me, and then I look back at them quickly as if to communicate "are you seriously staring at me?" they look away right away almost in shame everytime so far. Not only do you diffuse the sitaution, but you actually win the staring contest (that they started).
@@emmaearnshaw3282 That's cat language for 'I trust you'.
Here's a way to break a stare I learned working with vicious dogs. Don't break the stare, but move your hand. The instinct is to track sudden hand movement. Not sure if it would work on humans. I don't get that far into it with people.
Wrong! Take it from a guy that has been to prison for fights. Walk the f away. The loser goes to the hospital. The winner goes to prison and pays tens of thousands in medical bills. Freedom is better than validation and ego.
Agreed.
I woke up a shot caller in state. He came at me all hard ass. I had to let go of inhibition and became excitedly eager looking him up and down as I bounced a little light on my feet, with an "I'm going to rape you" look of joy, and said , "this is goona be fun" , "are you sure?", I didn't mean to wake you bro." , "But hell yeah!" in a gitty tone.. He retreated saying, "Just keep it down!" and went back to his bunk. Later he complained to the C.O. and I got moved to a bunk away from his. He was smart and walked away.... So I agree with you Sir.
I agree with that. I would rather be perceived as weak witch I know I'm not than end up dead.
Well put bro , there are a few things that will force you to stand your ground very few . Leave !!
Yep….
Now that was a well thought out video. The quick downward nod is perceived by trained men as a sign that you are one of them, they know from that moment that the pain and claret will be a two-way thing. In fact, the nod coupled with some beef is often enough to see big fellas into old age without ever learning to scrap. 😀
I am 63 and have not "hit " anyone in "40" yr.s.
Ed Parker was a very wise , kind , and generuse man.
In my experience, avoiding town centres at weekends is a great form of defense.
Yep, the bigger the group the dumber the people.
depends where you are. In europe, town centers are usually the safest places anytime
@@kalinkaata You folk are also prone to terrorist bombings a bit more. Maybe not.
You must have been to Newcastle's Big Market....... 🤭
@@kalinkaataNo not necessarily.
You don't mess with people you don't know unless you're prepared for a trip six feet under. Words of wisdom boys.
Right, problem is reality can make things happen and the last thing I give a F about is if I know them.
I dont mess with people i dont know. But i have had them mess with me. And almost every time i e done far more damage than i took. The ones i didnt come out on top were ones where i was outnumbered and/or suckerpunched.
Especially in today's world.
@@jonc3214 No, YOU don't mess with the mentally ill, and its good when you know your limitations, and even better when you follow them. Most people wont mess with them either, unless they have too, or worse didn't have a choice, and when you do, the last thing you do is worry about knowing them, or some other doubt bs, you focus on getting it done. I am not speaking from bs, I dealt with it inside my family, and later in life on the job working doors. So it absolutely does matter how tough you are, and or, more aptly put, how experienced you are, and that will clearly vary among individuals, even the tweakin batshit crazy people you don't know.
you have no idea how effective this is, i witness crazy things all the time I live in nyc & its great to always be aware of your surroundings, to be able to read the room
One mistake not mentioned , overconfidence . I once minimized a threat because I thought " this guy wouldn't dare try anything to me" and got sucker punched for my arrogance . Expect the unexpected , old advice is still good advice .
Pretty much spot on. I don't have any problem breaking contact with a potential threat, but it can all go out the window when you're in a position where you're protecting someone, personally or professionally. At that point you can be put into more danger by the people you're protecting than the threat. The trick of looking someone between the eyes wouldn't work if they're right in your face, but otherwise it can cause a person to be disorientated or uncertain because you're giving the illusion of individually focusing into both of their eyes at the same time with both of your eyes.
Learning to spot the face of PTSD afflicted veterans in early situational distress is a useful tool. I am a non ptsd veteran and after years of observation I can often tell when a fellow veteran is beginning to boil over . Once the poor souls hit the flash point it's difficult if not impossible at times to deescalate them . The gent with the focused stare wearing the green shirt shows the sad marker of ptsd .Thanks for Your videos Sir
As a vet myself with PTSD, you are right. I hate the label, but early situational distress assessment is crucial in cooling us down and keeping us from exploding. Too many times I've been stared down and it puts me on alert. I avoid places where any alcohol is involved now. The "fun" of hanging with my friends in those places isn't worth the fight and night in jail that comes when some "homie" wants to prove his manhood. I've learned to avoid places like clubs where I USED to enjoy because people there mistake my 1000 yard stare as a "challenge". Sometimes I'm not even looking at the person, I'm a million miles away in my own head. But they think I'm staring them down for a fight. Egos man.
@@BaronNate I agree with You . The woods are My place of peace ( No politics , no religion , just 100% truth ). I wish I could find one magic word or phrase to break through to every struggling Vet . I will never give up . I also tell vets that are suicidal to PLEASE reach out .Don't disgrace the fallen by not living , Our living keeps them alive through US . We are the caretakers of Our brothers and sister Vets . Go as easy as Ya can .
@@BaronNate or, and hear me out on this, you could just control yourself.
@@throbbinwoodofcoxley6830 You obviously don't understand much about PTSD. You can see yourself out of this comment section
@@throbbinwoodofcoxley6830 Ahh, you're one of those "just don't be depressed!" Or "Just stop having ADHD?!" LOL, shut up.
Fear is a natural human response. The real question is, what do you fear? I don't fear another man, I fear what I may lose, what I love the most - my family! When they depend on your wisdom, guidance, and protection, nothing is worth placing them in that position! Let the ego go, and live to see another day! With that said, a quick eye to eye agreement, usually let's both sides know to mutually move on. I just did this a week ago!
When i hear that someone doesn't fear another man.. How is this possible?You must have at least a little fear of someone,maybe he is bigger,or taller or crazier,or a very good fighter,or he carries a weapon.I never understood this statement.Either you have a neurological deficiency or you are lying. I fear many men mainly because they are bigger and i'm not ashamed to admit it.
@@ΝουςΥγιής-δ4ψ I would say that I don't have a neurological disorder, it's more of a mindset. If you're a fighter, you have just as much of a chance as your opponent, what's to fear? Size means nothing. My line training instructor was half my size, but technically sound, and had no problem mitigating my size.
Well said Sir
MANY years ago, I was in Dallas at 3 am with a truck full of stuff and a full trailer, moving my girl to Colorado. I pulled off the highway in a bad part of town to fuel up and move on. I went inside to pay. At the doorway, there were 8 very large black guys. I thought I was about to get beaten up and robbed. So, I found the biggest, meanest, looking guy, and I nodded at him. He nodded back. No words were said, none were needed. I paid for my fuel and left.
My take away from this was that sometimes the most simple of gestures can make life so much easier. Or, more simply, don't start shit, won't be shit.
Showing Confidence without being a direct threat. Just acknowledge and getting on the way. I call it "just playing through" no harm, no foul. Well played. RESPECT
Yes I'm sure that the eight guys were intimidated by your nod. hhahahhahahaahahahaah
@@David-g5d2g You think that eight guys with bad intentions changed their minds because a guy nodded. ahahahhhahaaha
Spot on. I have found that about 3 seconds eye contact is the right amount: long enough to acknowledge their presence and "assess" them as a potential threat. Then I look away, always sideways. Never down; that is a sign of submission/weakness.
Ignoring them (but still being aware of their movements) at this point sends the message that you have assessed their potential and deemed it not worthy of concern - this gives them pause for thought.
Only once has someone taken it a step further after such an exchange; I'd just finished strapping my kid in the car.
He approached and said "alright mate, there a problem?".
I stared at him and with a calm, even but direct tone told him that there wasn't - but given that I had my child in my care, there would be a very severe problem if he decided there was. He persisted evidently so as not to lose face so I made it quite clear: my child is in the car, back off or you'll discover the savagery a father protecting his child is capable of. At that point it became clear I had to assert full dominance - it worked. Still got mouthy but he did back up several steps, at which point I got on with my business. Fact is, most gobshites nowadays dont have the stomach for a fight with someone who is clearly not intimidated - unless they are packing a blade etc. Which of course, in the above situation, makes it all the more important to gain control of the situation. A small Co-op carpark, cameras everywhere, people moving in and out on a bright sunny day, thw likelihood of him drawing a hidden weapon is slim. Had it been dark, isolated etc, my approach would have been quite different.
Of course, it does also help knowing you are physically equipped to deal with the situation should it get that far.
Always good !
I always wear rear view sunglasses. I walk through some 'ugly' parts of town and they remove the surprise sneak attack from the 'back biters' .
Interesting 🤔 recently I actually started thinking about something similar to that
Good tip, anyone who's ever been jumped from behind ,wishes they'd had this.
In two instances, situational awareness has saved my life and in others its probably saved me from injury. That said, it is very important to learn body language, because attackers will always telegraph their disposition and intentions. It can be a fine line, but keep your distance and use what's in your environment as an advantage to block an attack or a way to escape. When all else fails, though, and you know your going into a fight be the first to strike with no holds barred.
Love this video. I've been a Corrections Officer for almost 31 years now, and I use these same methods in a prison environment. Having worked from minimum to Level 5 security I have many of your techniques on TH-cam channel. I maintain a high level of situational awareness especially how inmates carry a variety of edged weapons either staged or on their persons. I use a variety of
observing mirrors, window reflections, shadows on walls, pre assault indicators, etc good information
Thank you for your Service .. Did 27 years here !! 🤨👍🏻
I always return it with a dead stare, slightly smile and slowly break eye contact sideways. Usually ends it. I let them know that i am relaxed and are tracking them without directly looking at them .
Ego is such an important thing to get, particularly as a child. It's the reason bullies pick on people - the satisfaction, the determination to somehow make you look less so that, in their eyes, they look more in front of others. I found very early on that giving in to bullies made it worse, as did trying to play 'their' game. In the end, similar to the advice in this video I find that portraying confidence in yourself (even if you are not feeling it) was enough to put these people off eye contact, a nod, even a few words of destraction (ie not escalating the situation) was enough to put them off pickign on me and moving on. I even had a physical encounter where one of them punched me in front of others to see what I do and I just looked at them. Sadly they didn't give up so after the 4th one I changed attitude to show that I was serious and had enough. I wouldn't call myself strong in sense of the word but I returned one punch with conviction and they mentally fell apart. They wanted me to cower in front of them and most of the school. What I did was not give them the satisfaction. I was never picked on again - probably as much due to the bully and friends perceived ego loss as anything else. Bullies want easy to targets - For some weird reason they thing it makes them bigger or better.
i got it too, just taking it made it worse. fighting back made it worse. they were the kind of kids that would pick the right times, i'd retaliate in anger and get the suspension, the asskicking later on, and punished at home, because mom had to come get me early. i thought about taking my granddad's shotgun to school so many times and i'm glad i didn't. i was tired of always being in deepshit no matter what i did.
the thing that worked for me was just lifting debris. at 10, i was so angry i'd throw rocks, sticks. i started lifting bigger and bigger ones. out biking around near some woods, i found a dumpsite for junk construction materials, full of busted cinder blocks, bent rebar, boulders of concrete... i would stack bricks up all afternoon, break concrete with a 6' steel rod, carry stacks of rebar across the site. then a week later, new junk would appear. i didn't know what i was doing and lucky i didn't severely injure myself, but it helped soothe my anger. i didn't notice how it was changing me: rough looking hands, arms,neck,face always brusied/scraped, my body got bulky, solid, but i never lost that angry look, and after a child abuse scare, because of course, some counselor told me once i always walked around with the world on my shoulders, always staring at the wall or the floor, like i was in another world. yea, i couldn't wait to get back to my field and break more broken shit.
i never understood why they always picked me, maybe since i was always the new kid, mom constantly moving us around the city, different districts, different types of schools. i can remember getting my ass kicked for the first time at age 7 over a bike lock some asshole kid wanted. couldn't understand why all the adults were cool with it until i had enough. but i knew none of them had any nuts at all, i just knew it. now i was 12, almost 13, the first time i fought after my time in the field, i boxed this kid up so bad they called the cops, guns drawn and everything. they thought i had a knife with all mess. he didn't deserve it, i felt bad immediately even before the cops arrived, because he wasn't even the worst one. he was just the first and caught years of hell that weren't meant for him. i kept replaying a single instance over and over in my mind: brushing his arms away like they were laundry and throwing my fist right into his soft, dumbfounded face, i couldn't feel anything, like my hits were missing, not connecting, hitting nothing. made me hit harder and yet i couldn't feel my limbs. i couldn't hear anything nor focus on anything but his face. he couldn't even look me in the eyes and he never would again as i was promptly arrested and kicked out of the school. at home, mom was so pissed she was lashing me with a belt, screaming, crying. that shit went all across my chest, neck. it stung, but i wouldn't flinch. i felt amused. even the asskickings at home are nothing now, but i digress into a whole other mess.
the reckoning had begun and things were never the same. mom gave me up, went through a few homes, even did a little stint homeless. shit sucked, but the bullies all stopped. no balls. i knew it. only now i could make them see it too. a desolate field of unwanted debris made that all very apparent. i apologize for the long post, your post dug some things up i hadn't thought about in years.
That's great advice! Thank you! Looking at reflections and maintaining your peripheral views are very helpful. Years ago I was mugged by two guys because it was dark, cold and stupidly I had earbuds in listening to music while walking home one night. I had my hood on because it was a very cold night. I might as well have been blind.
They came at me from the side and I got beat pretty bad.
Since then I never wear a hood when I go out, I wear a hat and make damn sure my vision is not obstructed in any way. I immediately become aware of anything reflective in my path and walk near it. The reflections are your second pair of eyes, that's how I like to think of it. I now tend to be equally aware of my peripheral view as much as my frontal view. I think we take that for granted. I also look and assess a situation long before I get to a destination. If I'm walking with my wife and notice some activity a block away it's more than enough time to shift our direction. Could be nothing but you never know.
Excellent advice. Unfortunately in many places these days it's just as likely to be a knife as a sucker punch if you get it wrong. The blank eye contact, just enough to register and acknowledge the aggressor but without letting it linger, is definitely the best. After that it's a case of withdrawing from the danger zone without losing awareness of what's going on (the further you move away, the more you can rely on peripheral vision, and at this point, demeanour is everything.) Having acknowledged their presence, you now need to give he impression that without showing any fear, you are not invested in the situation, and that you have other distractions going on that need your focus and attention. There is another observation I would make, if all else fails and you find yourself in a fight. People who are not used to physical confrontation have an instinctive dread of being hit in the face, and it is a primal reflex to crouch and cover the face, even turning away, to protect it. But this places you at an immediate disadvantage because you can no longer see what your opponent is doing, or where the blows are coming from, and whist he may not be able to land on your jaw or nose, he can still hook around and batter the side of your head, grab you, kick you in the groin or stomach etc. So whilst it may be counterintuitive at first, it's worth training yourself to keep your head up with your opponent in clear view, and to rely on using distance and head movement to avoid the blows. It's way better if you can keep his face and hands in clear focus in front of you at all times, and unless he is a trained fighter, generally you will see the punch coming and be able to avoid it, or at least take the sting out of it as you move backwards or shift your head. This also gives you the crucial freedom and ability to strike back, and land your own blows effectively on target. I know this all sounds obvious but in the heat of the moment when people are unused to these situations, instinct often does takes over and they try to cover up in self preservation mode, with painful consequences, until their aggressor gets bored of battering and kicking... and there's no certainty of how far he will go with it.
@Karl with a K Your answer was about the same length as mine. The rest of my comment was about something else.
What I would add to this very good analysis of how to handle these types of situations is this : Don't turn your back to anyone you understand to be showing 'bad intentions'. Tactical retreat is where you set off in a direction that goes toward a possible 'safe' venue, like store, restaurant, etc. while keeping your body at least sideways to the potential attacker, so you can easily keep them in your view. Never turn your back or give them your back. Ever. Put other impediments in their way, like a street with lots of traffic or lots of people walking past or through where you are. Make it so they have to fight that traffic or those other people to get to you. Very least, it gives you valuable time to see and then set yourself up to respond. Best case, it will possibly enlist others to your aid, something these types of people don't want.
I disagree. Exposing your back is displaying an opening, one they probably won't be able to resist. So, by exposing an opening you've chosen where the attack will come.
I'm confused. He said to never give them your back. What are you disagreeing with?
@@xleaselife I'm saying expose your back. Give them an opening so that they're sure to take it, then take it away.
@@artiefischel2579 Inviting the attack isn't an option for everyone. For most people, completely avoiding the attack is the best option, even those who can fight and are carrying weapons. Better to escape than to risk serious injury or have to explain to the police why you killed someone.
@@mitchellbaxter6314 Don't know. I think if the attack is going to come, it's going to come. Better to control it from the start. That's what I was taught, anyway.
Seems I've instinctively followed these tips my whole life. Never ended up in a fight except for one my friend started and I've avoided two would be muggings. The most important thing in my experience is communicating to the person (through body language/eye contact) your awareness of their intentions and how you don't intend to make yourself an easy target (don't stop moving or turn your back on them). Unless they really have it in for you, the likelihood is they will switch to an easier target.
Same here. I've had plenty of people try to stare me down. I'm one of those people a lot of guys look at and immediately think they can take me, 5' 9", about 155 lbs, no tattooes, bulking biceps, pecs any of that stuff. Very mild natured and friendly. But anyone who's been in my headlock understands how potentially lethal I can be, so in short, I'm just not scared of people. This causes many to try to intimidate me, but once I ask them "what's up", or "how's it going?", they usually see my confidence and quickly grow respect. If I feel someone is particularly squirrely, I usually just pick up my cell phone and start texting or something. They usually get bored when I don't play along.
Another thing I have to remember is I'm also good looking, and sometimes even heterosexual males just can't help but to have a good look at what a fine specimen looks like lol
Yeah, my friend started one with street kids, critisised the music. Bloody hell.
So…. Do you just watch them as a bystander go after an “easier target”??
Excellent advice, Dr Mark. As an ex-doorman myself, I would add that if it's possible to say something that is *really* funny (especially if the starer is with mates) it is possible to defuse really tense situations almost instantly. I can give examples from my own experiences if anyone's interested. Great video.
please share some examples.
@@andresdigi25 OK. I was standing out in front of Arthur's nightclub, on Victoria Street in Kings Cross, in front of double plate glass windows and doors which made the front of the club. I was working the door on my own that night. It was about 11 or 11:30 at night, and I heard an odd sound - I turned to my right and I saw a group of about 10 or 12 guys rolling an 18 gallon keg down the road. Everything about them said "football team". They made their way towards me. The ring leader came over to me and he said, "Is this a place for poofs*?" I replied, "Mate, you'll be okay, but I can't let your mates in". They all cracked up (apart from the ring leader,) and they rolled the keg on down the road.
*Australian slang term for homosexuals, from 30 years ago.
@@KitLaughlin thanks.
@@KitLaughlinthx
It's refreshing to understand the psychology behind these types as you present it, Doctor.
One thing that has worked for me on a couple of occasions is to become very friendly. Ask them if their life is going okay or if they've heard a new song. If they have buddies, talk to them too. Treat them like they are people, sometimes they're just having a bad day.
Best way I say hello
Growing up in the eighties you had to fight. There was no other way around it. So I fought a lot, and in my case, where insecurities dominated my teenage years, staring aggressively seemed to me like a giveaway. As a bullied kid and always the underdog, I learned to hit first so I could hit again.
Not proud of it. That's just the way it was for me.
It was necessary. Those that have been bullied know that there is only one way to stop it.
@@Chunda8 It was, in spite of the traumas it created later
Yep. Hit first and usually win.
He who strikes first strikes best.
@@slappy8941 and gets the girl too 😉
Im a barely 5'1 woman. Im not not loud, im not hostile, but for some reason i seem to draw aggression from others. I used to be very heavy, i turned to food to keep a barrier between me and the world but many saw it as an invitation for violence and harassment. Now ive lost weight and women see me as competition and are super, super nasty. Its terrible.
Yes.
In Australia we have changed the term “sucker punch” to “cowards punch”
You could just call it an aussie punch.
I like that. Technically, both are accurate - Cowards throw em, Suckers receive em.
🤝
Yes and now they’re correctly named, COWARDS, a bit like those keyboard warriors who attempt to insult with an ignorant post.
😉😊
Or "king hit" - which is the dumbest term
In Hawaii it’s called a “false Crack” brah
I’m a big guy. I’m 6”3 and I was a bodybuilder and power lifter. I was also a Kung Fu and kickboxing instructor. This made me a target for any idiot that thought he would get clout if he took me down. Most of the time I would deescalate but occasionally they would push too far and then the results for them were not too good. What’s the easiest way to stop someone from eyeballing you? Give him a good poke in either eye, then he won’t be eyeballing anybody. Lol. Note: If you’re thinking about an eye gouge during a confrontation be warned. Eye gouges often result in permanent damage being done to the eye. It should only be used in a life threatening situation or else you may find yourself facing criminal charges and a hefty lawsuit.
Who gives a damn, so what
Really don't know what to think about that, I'm a very small guy and have gotten shit for it incessantly all my life, including from my very own brother (who I put in the hospital a few times for it when he didn't see it coming) and figured if you're tough as the devil then people would leave you alone.
I guess there's just no accounting for the fact that many people are just fucking losers and that's that. Always looking to cause bullshit. We're a right bloody nasty fucking species.
So many People with fragile egos in the modern world. This is why we have to watch videos like this to ensure that we learn to protect ourselves when we are in trouble.
World was like that 100 years ago - nothing new ;-)