GROWING UP BISEXUAL (a video I never published)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 8 ก.ย. 2024
- I made this video over a year ago but I never published it for some reason? I just watched it and thought it was worth putting out there. (My hair didn't magically grow back, I still have it short.)
I hope this is relatable to other bisexual girls out there. I love you loads and you should be proud of who you are.
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xxx
(Oh, and closed captions will be published on this video by tomorrow night. Sorry for the delay!)
![Whats wrong with me? // My Disabilities (Updated) [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/5nJJGkx0igY/mqdefault.jpg)
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Ah, as the old adage goes
me: Why am I so obsessed with gay people?
me (a few years later): Oh... I AM a gay people.
haha same :) i started watching like lgbt short films or coming out videos and i thought yeah i should educate myself to be more tolerant and stuff and slightly i realized that i might be like them....
"is she wife goals or life goals" has been my life as a sapphic person for so long
"do I like him or do I want to be him" is the sum of my experience as a gay trans man
I can echo a slightly different version of "do I like her or do I want to be her" as a bi trans girl.
Augustine same as a trans bisexual boy
Honestly I relate to that as a maybe bisexual Cis guy but probably for different reasons. It's the question of "is this an attractive guy who I want to emulate or be with?"
I love how you used the 'sometimes a princess can fall in love with another princess', because recently, a belgian/dutch girl band for kids released a song about how 'sometimes, princesses love princesses', and sking why a boy can't be a princess and a girl can't be superman.
What band was it? I'm Dutch and would love to check them out
Britt ter Meer K3, prinsesje en superman
Holy shit I was soooo into Gay Rights™ in high school when I was questioning hardcore but like "nahhh I'm totally straight!"
I'm personally gay not bisexual, but I can remember forcing myself to have crushes on boys in my grade because all the other girls had crushes on guys. I can remember forcing myself to have male celebrity crushes and picking a favorite in boy bands I didn't care about and priding myself on not being so "boy crazy" like some of the other girls in my school. I literally had these thoughts so implanted in my brain from such a young age that I thought I was bisexual for maybe 3+ years and dated a boy for 2 of them. It took me so long to come to terms with the fact that all my childhood crushes and that entire relationship was a misunderstanding and a product of a hetero-normative society. Thinking back on it, most of my "crushes" were boys with more feminine features lol
Kels Kersa same, I still make myself sick over it
Kels Kersa as a lesbian compulsory heterosexuality is a bitch
same- I'm asexual but I used to think of a boy that I got on with and tell people I had a crush on them. I'm also a transboy (cis passing) so all that time forcing myself to be het-norm now makes people think I'm gay because I comment on guys being hot on TV/joining in a 'girly'(het norm crushes discussion) convo as a sort of reflex before realising I don't have to do that. My housemates bf said 'urgh, why do you have to shove it in everyone's face?' but no one ever said anything about comments like that pretransition- they were expected. I actually wrote on essay about how me being trans means heteronormativity and self-surveillance have combined to make my default a challenge to the normativities that constructed that default. That's kind of hard to write but hopefully you understand my meaning.
This is SO relatable on every level. It's so difficult to figure out you're Bi when everyone around is acting like being straight is the only thing there is, and being gay is bad, that you start to think you're straight and 'normal' for the longest of times. I really wish I was told earlier that it was perfectly normal to crush on everyone, not just girls. In my case it was a harder to figure out, because of what you said as well, wanting to be like someone else, which in my case was girls, but didn't know the difference between those two feelings. Although I'll admit I still have trouble with that one. Then again, you can want to be like someone and crush on them at the same time ^^
Glad you posted this video, even if a year later.
Same
This is so relatable, literally all of it.
Intense straight ally was me before I came out too! Some religious girls said they were anti gay marriage so I pretended to marry another female friend at lunch time in front of them... who would have guessed I was bi, haha.
💗💜💙 Relatable ! I thought my attraction to women was jealousy of how beautiful they were, how toxic is that ? Realising bisexuality has improved my outlook on life in so many ways !
To that comment from Ray, um no. I think I know better than you what my sexuality is. Bye you troll x
Intense friendships and obsessions! Yes! I didn't know bisexuality was a thing until I was like 16. Before that, I'd had, what I now realise were massive crushes on girls which made me want to be their best friend and spend all my time with them, and I'd let them treat me like crap and just forgive them instantly. I remember always having the urge to kiss girls too, since I was about 6, but I always just figured it was normal and everyone had the urge to just kiss people. Hindsight is a weird thing. I'm lucky I managed to never have internalized homophobia. It always just made sense to me that some people would like the same gender, and i never saw anything wrong with it.
Ray Nathenwall it's not just about sex. Kids get completely romantic crushes, and should be allowed to know they're normal if they're getting those feelings for people who are the same gender as them
Intense friendships for me too! Quite cool to hear someone describing it. I remember really loving hanging out with one of my best friends when I was 13. We'd write each other letters every day and talk on the phone every night. She was really touchy feely so we'd hug a lot. If I got to school and she was away sick I'd feel really bummed. It wasn't until I realised I was bisexual a year later that I looked back and went "ohhh that was a crush." It's so true that you don't recognise it as a crush because of bi-erasure. Even when I first told a girl I liked her back (she was the only "out" lesbian in my year level and I sought her out to chat online... hmm I wonder why?!) I still said, "I'm straight except for you". Then with girlfriend number two I got more comfortable with the fact that I was bi.
Ray Nathenwall because it wasnt friendship? Nobody is saying theres anything wrong with friendship, we're saying that these feelings were more than friendship, but we had no way of knowing at the time because we didn't see ourselves represented anywhere to know that bisexuals/biromantics exist.
Ray Nathenwall being attracted to the same gender isn't inherently sexual. It can be completely romantic. You are the one sexualising it, and so the children who feel it. Also, kindly take your gross homophobic opinions away from here. We're not telling you how to live your life, so dont tell us how to live ours.
You were the one who started talking about it as being sexual? And I'm talking about it here because it's what the video is about. It is part of me, whether I dwell on it or not.
When i was in seventh grade there was this girl in my math class who i thought was just really cool and funny and pretty. I tried to talk to her all the time, i really really wanted to be her friend. I rationalized this as like oh i want to be her friend and i just really want to be like her. I tried to dress like her and do anything that would get her attention basically lmao. And back then i didn't know being bi was a thing so it wouldn't have even crossed my mind that this could've been a crush. And then when i realized i was bi i was like... oh. That was definitely a crush wow
This is honestly so damn relatable. I don't ID as bi, I call myself pan, cause it's simply a label I feel more comfortable to describe myself as, but I recognize, like, 98% of what you're talking about as "yes, I did that"
it's really kind of amazing how similar my story is to yours. including the internalized homo/bihobia, hatred of women I actually liked and the self hate and confusion later in life and the shock of realizing who I actually am. that was only 2 years ago and I'm 28 now so this went on for a while.
I thought I was straight, then I thought I was a lesbian, then I discovered bisexuality. The main problem I had was people saying I couldn't change, but the thing is, I didn't change, I just got to know myself better.
VERY relatable. I caught myself laughing throughout the video, especially the "living through shipping" part, because it just sounds straight (lol) up like my childhood. I think parents are afraid their children will "turn gay" (again, lol) if they are aware of that as being an ok option growing up, meanwhile I was just screaming in my head "WHAT AM I? I DON'T UNDERSTAND!". Lovely to be on the other side of that now, am I right?
Ray Nathenwall Why am I still bi and trans then when I "modelled" straight and cis "behaviour" most of my life either by chance or because that's what's expected? You can change a LOT of things about yourself but this isn't one of them. Who wants to make themselves into something that means they have to put up with you? :D
I kind of had a similar experience growing up with being a gay guy. When I was younger I had a *ton* of crushes on girls. They were celebrities, friends from school , TV/movie characters - lots of different people. I always assumed they were crushes because that's what society had taught me up until I probably started secondary school. Of course it was only until that point where I realised they weren't actual crushes because at that time I was going through my "sexual awakening" and I wasn't sexually attracted to any of them 😂 I was kind of mistaking it with just really liking the person, similar how you used to identify with girls. I remember my first proper crush on a guy from school, a few years before starting secondary school. I didn't know it was a crush then, I just thought I really liked the guy - I literally followed him everywhere lol. But as I got older I realised it was a crush and it was at that time I started educating myself on LGBTQ+ people. I always knew gay people existed from a very young age, I just never identified myself as one. I never really excepted it until recent years, I always just kind of denied it to myself, because of society and that hetrosexuality was "normal" and being gay wasn't. But it became harder to ignore when it's now 7 years later from meeting the guy I liked and to still fancy the pants off of him - the struggles with liking a straight guy 😂 But I guess the point is, I kind of had similar experiences growing up
I RELATE SO MUCH ABOUT BEING THE "STRAIGHT" INVESTED ALLY AND SHIPPING GOSH 😂
Oh god. I remember having a crush on Drew Barymore and watching that movie Ever After on repeat. Thinking I wanted to be her. And then I watched Star Wars for the first time and got obsessed with Han. So I was like yay boys. Middle school and the beginning of high school was me having crushes on a shit ton of guys all at once and ignoring the fact that I was most definitely in love with my female best friend. So much confusion.
Ray Nathenwall Why don't you control yourself and shut up about things you clearly don't understand :)
I'm a bisexual male, and I was frequently confused about my sexuality. If I liked a girl, I would be consumed by my crush I had for them, and would appear to myself "straight", but then if I liked a guy, I would immediately panic thinking I'm gay (kind of homophobic to be honest), just because there was so much stigma attached to the label. It's so weird because I didn't actually understand bisexuality, even though I am one. I even knew a few bisexual girls in my school and still didn't clock on that I too was also bi.
Even to this day, I can flip flop depending on what celeb I like, and their gender. I go through days of thinking "am I just in denial about being gay"? Later to find another pretty woman intoxicatingly beautiful ❤
I don't normally comment on videos, but this is a really great video. As a bi 16 year old girl, I looked for a long time for people who understood the way I felt when I was a kid. When I began to think I might be anything other than straight, all the resources I found talked about how people "knew it since they were a kid", and while that was great, I didn't relate to that as much, and it made me question if the way I felt now was valid. As I became more aware, I realized more about how I had crushes on girls that I didn't categorize as crushes- even though it was the same way I felt about guys. I know this is kinda ranty and long, but hearing another bi person talk about how they thought they were straight because they were attracted to guys really resonated with me. I went through months of accepting LGBTQA+ people and completely supporting them, and even thinking I might be, but being completely discouraged by seeing everyone talk about how they always knew they were lgbt and I was just trying to figure it out. Sorry for the super long comment I just really loved this video, and I would highly recommend it.
This video made me cry because I've only read things from other bi people where they've known of their crushes on two genders their whole life and I hadn't thought of my crushes on women as actual crushes when I was younger (like you) until I think of it now and for the past couple of years since I've realised I'm bisexual, I thought something was wrong with me. So thank you 😂
I really relate to the part where you talk about not even knowing that being attracted to more than one gender is a possibility. I luckily knew about the existence of gay people from a young age, but since my first few crushes were on boys, I just assumed I was straight. I had no idea that you could be bi or pan until one of my close friends came out as bi and explained to me what that meant. After that, I became a super invested straight ally for a while. About a year after that, I finally realized that I'm not straight! If adults would tell kids about these things when they're young, it would be so helpful!
OH MY GODD I FEEL/FELT THE EXACT SAME WAY
i am just realising and coming to terms with my bisexuality, and currently realising my past crushes on girls !!!! (i still haven't 'come out' to my family/friends and its kind of stressing me out) it's so weird and it makes me so angry how i literally only found out bisexuality was a thing that existed one year ago (im 16)
i actually sort of 'discovered' bisexuality through youtube - i watched one video of someone explaining their sexuality and what bisexuality was, and then i started becoming obsessed with this type of videos (what a telling sign, i cant believe i still didnt notice that i was bi at the time) and also with the person who made the video - another bi crush - again, i didnt realise and it makes me really angry that i couldve been a lot less insecure and self doubting if i had known that it was ok for me to like both men and women (and other genders of course!) ugh
Oh, I had the investment in gay media thing!
And, on an unrelated note: I think your Dolls of the six wives are amazing. :)
8:55 I've seen that called 'life goals or wife goals?' :)
SingingWithMyself OMG I'm gonna call it that now too LOL
Thanks for posting this! It was extremely relatable for me. Sad but also kind of hilarious that so many of us seem to go through these experiences. But I hope it's changing, at least children today can see a few programs with representations of different sexualities (like Korra and Steven Universe), and more adults seem to realise that bisexuality is a thing.
Funny story: I remember from sex ed in school, which wasn't the worst but certainly not the best either, that we learned about gay people. And the questions the book has us answer was "what would you say if one of your friends came out as gay?". It wasn't a bad question, but I had just realised that I was bi and I found it both sad and funny that none of the questions in the book seemed to be directed at me, but only to my straight friends. The questions were now only about me, and nowhere did they give me a chance to speak up for myself.
Jenny S E Ayy, we have the same hair dye
So relatable! I totally had crushes on girls growing up but I never knew they were crushes.
_Thank you_ for this video. I'm a 17 year old Indian-American. I'm not out to my family but I'm out at school. I only learned about the LGBT community in 7th grade and then realized I was bi towards the end of 9th grade. I only started being open about it at school this year. Every part of this video is so relatable and helpful, from the confusion to the relief to the anger, so thank you.
I'm a bi guy but it took me years to realise that I had any sort of feelings for guys and it took hindsight to realise that I was bi and not straight and was determined not to be gay for a rather long time for various reasons. In my experience my feelings for guys tends to be subtler and is possibly due to the hetero-normativity that is seen through out society but even though my only sexual experience has been with a woman I know that I could be with a guy and therefore bi. :) Hope this makes sense coming from a different experience.
Edit: I came out to myself 2 or 3 years or so ago now and have since come out to a few friends but I still haven't come out to everyone and haven't openly acknowledged I am bi to my family for various reasons (not to do with fear of violence before anyone gets any ideas). But yeah I guess the point is that its not always as blunt and obvious as told in the video.
Instantly had to give this video a like after "Hahaha - I'm four years old."
As someone who is a heterosexual male I think I have learnt a tremendous amount from listening to you Claudia. I admire your honesty and I think it will help to heal many people and help them to be confident and just enjoy being themselves. I think large sectors of our society are still in huge denial about just how complex sexuality can be and wants there to be three very rigid boxes (gay/straight/50-50 Bi). Really I think there are as many sexualities as there are people. Also there is still a tendency to see heterosexuality as the "correct" and "harmonious" state and anything else to be a discord and only tolerated if people are decent enough to not be too open about it in public. I even heard one man say on the radio that he couldn't see lesbian sex as "proper adult sex" because it did not involve a penis. Clearly with remarks like this we as a society still have a very long way to go. There is also the tendency for people to think if two gay or lesbian people meet or are introduced to each other at a drinks party they are going to be wonderful chums within minutes and also that gay and lesbian people will happily leap into bed with anyone who has the same sexuality as they do. I am not saying all straight people feel like this though it does do the rounds - sometimes at a subconscious level. The issue that concerns me though is sexual abuse. Firstly that there is this idea that people only become gay or lesbian or bisexual if they are abused and sexually interfered with as a child. This is clearly rubbish. But I also feel as a straight man who was sexually abused when I was thirteen that sometimes therapists and psychiatrists don't spend enough time or any time talking to the person about how that person considered their own own sexuality before the abuse took place. It is of course a great mistake to think automatically that they must have thought they were straight. There needs to be great sensitivity here. Professional knowledge of the victims sexuality is important if that victim is going to be hopefully sexually healed. People of all sexualities may also think it could not have been abuse because part of them was enjoying the attention. If someone did enjoy the attention that does not stop it for a fraction of a second from being abuse.
It always amazes me that people had crushes so early because I literally fancied no one in real life until I was in my teens and then did not act on anything until a bit later. I think it is because even though I sometimes found people on TV nice to look at, I really have to know a person inside to find them attractive. It just takes me a while. So because I haven't had a loving relationship with a woman, how would I ever know if I am bisexual or not?
thankyou!! i never had crushes as a kid and even now (19) I rarely if ever find people attractive unless im in a relationship with them lmao. demisexual is a label that might be relevant to u? :)
THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS
When all your five year old girl friends want to be the Disney Princess, and you don't see a problem with being the princess or the prince.
!!! I appreciate this so much, especially the part about not knowing whether one likes a girl or admires her. That's been such a problem for me. Especially with female characters and celebrities, this is difficult. And sometimes it overlaps? I wish we could have more conversations about this because I think it would help a lot of us.
I just considered myself straight until I was in my mid teens and had my first innocent crush on a girl at summer school. I went through a similar phase like you where I was in denial and then started disliking or being repulsed by (in my case) the female body itself. Towards the middle of university, I finally came to terms with myself and my sexuality and realized I'm close to the straight end of the spectrum but I'm not 100% straight. It felt so wonderful to feel love and attraction freely without internal judgement on my part, and I had been educated about LGBT+ issues and watched videos in detail years before I came to terms with it myself. I wonder how much longer it would have taken me if I didn't know how normal it was from a fairly young age.
Since I've only been interested in dating men, I think the vast majority of people just think I'm straight even though I experience sexual attraction for both men and women. I'm fine with being called either straight or bisexual, but prefer to consider myself heterosexual-leaning bisexual.
I agree with you in that we live in such an incredibly hetero-normative culture, and I absolutely did the exact same thing you described where I was a very passionate LGBT+ activist before I realized I was on the fringe of the LGBT+ community. XD I think education and compassion are two of the most important things kids need growing up.
I love this video so much. I relate incredibly to your experience. As a nine year old boy I knew I liked both sexes but I did not know that was allowed so I thought I must be either gay or straight until college.
this is so like me as a kid! I didn't come to terms with my sexuality till bout 14/15 and that was actually only from watching your videos! my crushes were very similar, I used to get crushes on older girls and then follow them around like a puppy (I feel kind bad for them now, I must have been so annoying as a child) and it isn't until I look back now that I realise I had huge crushes on them. this is honestly one of my favourite videos of yours, it's so like my experience! thank you!
This was amazing!!! Very true to my life: massively into gay rights, asking as a child if women can marry women, really intense female friendships. Also i remember thinking that I was straight, but sometimes thought women were sexy, but that must be what everyone felt so it wasn't worth mentioning. Also i really wish (like you) that I had figured it out earlier in my life. Would have saved a lot of angst!
I'm not out to my mum yet, so she'll say things like "When you find the right GUY" or "Prince Charming" I can't help but be like "yeahh......" (in my head I'm like: more like PRINCESS)
i love this video, it's the most relatable thing ever!! especially when you were talking about the celebrity crush thing omg
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS. I’m 30, and have only been out for about a year. It was so confusing and I grew up with a very homophobic best friend so I think that just strengthened my denial. But everything about this video rings true. You actually just helped me a lot
Admiration vs attraction is still something I struggle with. I had extremely intense friendships when I was younger that I now realize were crushes, I think I convinced myself that I just really liked being friends with girls, I wanted to be around them all them all the time and hold their hands. I had no idea that being attracted to both genders was a thing so it was very confusing. I thought that since I was interested in boys as well that I was just straight and I tried to shut down my feelings towards women. Now I realize it was a lot of internalized biphobia and homophobia. Our experiences were quite similar I think. It's nice to be able to relate to someone else this way.
oh my god I used to develop this extreme hateful for female celebs and female fictional characters too! I’ve never actually thought about it being internalized homo/biphobia but now that you’ve said it, I think that’s exactly what it was.
This was so similar to my experiences as a bisexual woman it is a bit ridiculous. Especially the crushes on girls that I didn't see as crushes at the time, and the championing of gay rights, and relating more heavily to LGBT relationships, and fascination with historical LGBT people and culture. Highly relatable content.
I relate so much with this video. The jealousy I had, and feelings of both attraction to women and wanting to be like women. It’s so complicated
I knew I was bi when I started having sexual feelings early on in middle school for both guys and girls, but I can't recall having any romantic feelings for chicks before that time, but I think it may have been because I had been told that liking your own gender was bad so it never occurred to me that I could like girls. Lady Gaga in "Telephone" and "Paparazzi" was the first woman I knew I felt something more than admiration for. I really can relate and sympathize with your experiences and am proud of you for being proud of your orientation, because that's something I still have an issue with. Thanks for sharing ❤️
I relate to this so much. Especially being a teenager and knowing about gay and straight, but having crushes on boys, so thinking "oh I guess I'm straight" because I didn't even know bisexuality was a thing.
you are so adorable this is a very inspirational video i have never had a crush on anyone you seem like a very sweet person love your channel
You rock my online acquaintance! Thank you so very much for continuing to share your insights.
Once you talked about how intense of a "straight ally" you were when you were younger I 100% identified with this video. In 8th and 9th grade I was a super intense advocate for gay rights, to the point where I would fight people about it, even tho I didn't consider myself gay. I got really into shipping and looking for LGBT media. There was a girl in my class who was an open lesbian and I would constantly hand paint these pro gay rights shirts and wear them to impress her. It was only lately when I came to terms with the fact that I'm bisexual that I realized that for what it was. Thanks for uploading this, it's really nice to hear about people with similar experiences.
I was always looking for LGB media too. I was obsessed with the Marissa / Alex storyline on The OC and was annoyed when they broke up. Never cared as much about any of the dudes she dated.
Ray Nathenwall What does that even mean
The amount of times I have rewatched things from my childhood and realised that I was totally crushing on all the girls is ridiculous and it makes me so angry. Like for example, when I was like eight I used to love watching Merlin, and in particular, seeing Katie Mcgrath as Morgana but I only registered it as a 'I want to be her because she's gorgegous' and not a crush because of all that heteronormativity bullshit. Then when I rewatched the series, knowing now that I'm bisexual and realised it was DEFINETLY a crush.
This video is just so invaluable to me, like when I went through the 'really invested straight ally' phase and binged 'growing up gay' videos it didn't really click with me because I had crushes on boys too, but if I had seen this I would of realised so much sooner that I was bi.
It’s so weird how much I relate to pretty much all of this even though I’m ace not bi. Except for instead of having crushes without realising it, I convinced myself that any time I found another human being aesthetically pleasing it was a crush, and so I had these fake crushes, and it started with girls, bc I didn’t know about other sexualities, but then it sort of evolved and then it was guys and girls, and then just guys, so over the last five years of adolescence I’ve gone through this sort of cycle of sexual orientations, and at one point I was in a homoromantic, almost sexual relationship for six whole months
i agree with this whole video. when i was young, i was basically taught that girls only like boys and gays were basically like foreign creatures and not ideal. didn't help that both my parents had friends with sons and would always tell me "you'll marry him when you grow up!" when i was like 4 or 5. and i went along with it because i was taught to like boys? and it was hella confusing and self-hating when i wanted to marry britney spears at age 5 and it was like "but she's a girl. i can't marry her." i had "crushes" on boys when i was a tween (like, ages 10-14) because society tells us that if we want romantic attention, it can ONLY come from the opposite gender. so unfortunately realizing i was gay and coming out was hella dramatic and sad, when it feels like it should have been more of a comedic thing, at least in my opinion (like "welp...i'm gay" like from mac in It's Always Sunny). i also feel like i'm attracted to some boys, but not enough to have the deep relationship i want. so i don't really tell people because heterosexist people will cling to that sliver of attraction to beauty/personality and push me to get with a guy when it just won't work...
I remember Jenna marbles making a joke about having “girl crushes” back in 2011-13 and basically it was that there are some girls that are just really pretty talented and nice etc and you just wannabe them. Year later I realized why I’m not intensely jealous of them or defend them, etc BECAUSE I WANTED TO KISS THEM.
I am fourteen years old and I am kind of coming to the realisation that I am pansexual. This video basically just explained all the emotions I have felt through my life. Thank you
I mean for the last couple of years I have been absolutely obsessed with LGBT 🏳️🌈 rights and I am so glad that other people have had the same experience
I can totally relate. Especially to the whole turning crushes on girls into hatred thing. lol
I remember I complimented a boy on his drawing in first grade and he started following me around and I guess "liked" me and I was so uncomfortable about it. I was just being nice because I liked his drawing! The creepiest thing about it looking back is my teacher recognized what was going on and kinda teased us about it like we were a couple, and put us in groups together. I didn't realize why I got so uncomfortable about boys having crushes on me until I was much older lol
Life goals or wife goals! Yeah, that's a tough thing. (I still want a male or non binary version of that phrase)
vaguely related: being transmasculine I'm no longer sure if I like dresses because I want to wear them, or I just find them aestheticly pleasing and want to see someone else wear them.
" im four years old i dont think so" dbhhjbdsbjdbhh you're my hero
OMG THIS IS ME I'M FULL OF SO MUCH JOY THANK YOU SO MUCH
I was afraid to be friends with boys when I was little because when I was in kindergarten I said I had made a boy friend, meaning a boy who was a friend, and my whole family acted like we were dating. FREAKING KINDERGARTEN
this is so relatedable i didnt know that being gay was a thing until i was 12 and lgbt until about 12 and a half so figuring out my identity was tough
Also.. I'm sorry I know I've commented a lot. I'm just really glad I found your channel. You seem so much like me. :)
I also had a hard time realizing I'm pansexual (or bisexual, which I called myself some years ago). When I was in gymnasiet (a Swedish school part, somewhat similar to British Upper Secondary School or 10th-12th grade of American High School) I suddenly got a crush on a girl, I was sooo confused about my feelings. I was like "No, I can't be bisexual, that's just wrong, people will hate me, I only like men, that's a fact, yeah, that is a fact, I'm sure of it." etc etc...
Have had no other crushes but female celebrity ones up until 15 years old when, finally, fell for the real guy from my sport team.The only thing I could think of was "Thanks God, maybe that means I'm totally normal and can live a regular life now." Was totally convinced I'm straight until I turned 23 and then everything went to a shit show. I guess the truth is, you can never escape yourself no matter what you do or don't do.
I relate to this so much, i didn't even figure out i was bi until years after having same sex experiences, i thought i was straight because, like you said, i had crushes on dudes
And also treating close friendships with other women with a sort of fierce intensity, that was kind of even scary for both parties involved, because without realising it, what you really wanted was a sex free love affair, and friendship just wasn't quite enough.
I really appreciate the video..I love that you are willing to talk about the things that a lot of other people won't talk about. You are awesome! I myself am bisexual and I have thought about posting a video about my personal experience with my sexuality. I just posted my mental illness story though so maybe I'll wait a bit.
I'm really getting this "invested straight ally" thing. When I first learned the lesbians existed (lmao) I started planning a story about 4 lesbian couples and their love stories, and hid it from my parents and was a bit embarrassed because I "wasn't gay" and I didnt want them to think I was. Looking back on before-being-bi memories is so funny 😂
Seriously relate to that feeling of relief when I first accepted/realised I was bi!
Girl same!!!! I personally just describe myself as "queer as fuck" as my kinda blanket statement for sexuality and gender and it was so hard for me and confusing as a young kid growing up and trying to understand that especially because I grew up in a VERY religious home and no one ever told me that gender and sexuality were two completely different things or that they were a sliding scale of things if you will. So when little 6 year old me would have times where I wished I was a boy not just I'm a tomboy and want to do "boyish" things, but actually be a boy like my brother but then there were times where I was like yup I'm a girl I shouldn't ever be anything but and I didn't really understand that and only got even more confusing for me when I started to develop crushes at like 6 and I would have a crush on a boy but also on a girl in my class. No one every talked to me about these things because its just not something people think they should to children about and never ever if you're from a religious family when I don't even have the same faith as my family, I just wanted someone to tell me what was going on!
omg i relate to the woman hate thing so much, i just recently realized a girl i ~hated~ in 9th grade was actually a crush... and the "do i like them or do i want to be like them" thing applies to almost everyone for me bc im genderfluid lmao
I was nodding in agreement throughout this. Unlike you though, I never wanted any type of connection to LGBT* issues because the universe made me internally homophobic. I'm probably bi-ish, but saying/typing it makes me feel grim. I am/have been attracted to women quite a bit older than me, so the line between crush/potential caregiver was always super blurred: i'd feel perverted and wrong for thinking this way and still do. I wonder if thats relateable
as a bisexual girl I remeber I had my first crush in a girl when I was 11, with a religious family so I learned about gay people so when I had my first crush with a girl I though I was gay. I mean I also liked guys and I had had a boyfriend before but I liked girls too so I was so afraid that gosh I like girls that means I'm gay, not knowing bisexuality existed. I was so confused because I am a girl I like girls so obviously I should only like girls after learning about bisexuality it clicked oh so this is why I like my boyfriend but also girls I'm not gay I'm bi
Thank you for this video, I can relate so much. I was so scared when I first considered not being straight would be possible.
I was like 10 when I decided I was bi and for the sake of simplicity later decided to identify as a lesbian when I was 12 but in the last few months I decided to identify as bi again because I've stopped hiding and decided to identify truly as myself rather than not be try to myself to make things easier
I really enjoyed this video i never heard of bisexual until I was in my late teens i didn't start questioning my sexuality until my 20,s im now 33 i realize that i was bisexual until several years ago
You're great Claudia, I loved it! Woul you ever make a video about asexuality as well? That would be so appreciated 😊
I had lots of crushes on guys as a pre-teen, particularly older boys or film and tv heroes or characters, but I will say that in the '80s, guys were overall a bit prettier than in other decades ;) But yeah, I understand the idea of wanting to be with a person, wanting to live with them, while not having any thoughts about sex.
Yeah! Your understanding of how society views queerness is sooooooo accurate! People see it as hypersexual and perverted as compared to heterosexuality. It's not! Our crushes can be just as innocent and sweet and can start at the same age as any straight person's.
I related to this so much more than I expected
So very #relatable. lmao. I actually had / still sometimes have some much internalized biphobia that I have 3 (then later 4) good friends who all identified as bi, but I didn't realize that I was bi until we'd been friends for nearly four years. Like it was ridiculous. Also, I often look back and realize all of the girls I had crushes on and it's just wild.
Hey, with regards to children's stories with same sex love, check out Promised Land by Adam Reynolds and Chaz Harris. "a young Prince and a Farmboy meet by chance in the forest and their newfound friendship soon blossoms into love. However, things get complicated when the Queen's sinister new husband seeks control over the enchanted forest that the farm boy's family are responsible for protecting."
My dad literally told me when I was ten that if I I looked at bi or gay stuff that I would become gay.So I internalized all that and I avoided gay/bi pride media for three years,to the point where when I fourteen,I was so horrified by liking girls I actually convinced myself I was Trans. To be fair,I still haven't figured out my sexuality and I'm nineteen. Thanks for messing me up,society👍
I never realized the soft crushes as a child, but my first hardcore crush on a woman was when I was 12 and It was Lady Gaga and I started questioning, but it took me until I was 18 to finally have everything figured out cause damn bi-erasure and comp-het
I had crushes on males and found them attractive as far back as I can remember having crushes. It didn't occur to me that I should only like one or the other until later. I never understood that sort of binary thinking. I think it's stating the obvious that we're on a spectrum. It was not uncommon for me to watch old TV shows and have more of a crush on the male character than the female one - I'm thinking of one in particular where I really wanted to be best friends with the female lead, but I basically swooned over the main male character. (I still do.)
When I was a kid I was fully ambidextrous, almost freakishly so, but I vastly preferred to write with my left hand. Where I grew up - in the middle of nowhere in the American south, which, yeah - they tried to force me to choose to write with my right hand, because the teacher I had at that time did not know how to teach for someone left handed (I still can't figure that one out). In defiance I continued to write with my left hand, and as time went on, I began to settle on certain sides for certain things - still somewhat ambidextrous, but I prefer to write, eat, hold the telephone, etc. with my left hand (and am therefore called a "lefty") but do other things with my right. I don't know that I would call myself bisexual because I'm not sure I qualify, and the "sexual" part of the term doesn't apply - I find men attractive, sometimes very much so, and have carried on intense emotional relationships with males, but I have only ever desired females sexually. Not sure what that makes me.
As always, I really appreciate your videos.
So much of this is relatable to be.
I remember loving Rose more than Jack in Titanic but I just rolled with it, it didn't confuse/upset me. Oh I absolutely understand being an intense 'straight ally' lol Also, with the 'dont know whether I like you or I LIKE you' thing - my boyfriend of 5 years says you and I are very similar in personality, interests and looks - but I have to be honest I do also have a major crush on you!
Ray Nathenwall I see your point. But really she was socially superior to him, more educated and she initiated the painting and the sex by saying "put your hands on me Jack." She saved him when he was handcuffed to the railing - not your typical damsel in distress. Lastly she forged a path for herself as an actress independently of Cal or Jack so in my opinion she was written as a very strong, stereotype defying independent woman!
Yeah, I had a weird feeling where I was *really* into my female best friends, which I was a feeling I didn't understand, but I had obvious crushes on boys. And I think I recognized my crushes on boys because it was hetero-normative and so I knew what that feeling was. But just like you, I had a crush on teachers and I would love to hug them and want to braid their hair. I cut off my bangs and gave them to my best girl friend when I found out I was moving schools. It took me years to realize why I felt the need to give her a piece of me before I left. We reunited in middle school and it was so awkward because she was so totally straight lol
This was so relatable 😭😭
I'll get on the kid's LGBT story!
You really look like Emma Watson in this video! As always you're gorgeous. Okay time to watch the rest of the video!
Wow okay I relate to all of this so much! Especially the whole being like 'of course i'm straight because i like men and that's the only choice there is', and then there was gay but that didnt fit because I still like men too! but that was it! And the second i heard of bisexuality i was like ohhh.... so that's what that is. We definitely need stories with more diversity because i do agree that that would have saved me SO much trouble. Great video (even though it's old by now! :) )
The only other TH-camr I've seen talk about being bi as a kid is Melanie Murphy. I'm sure others have talked about it in videos but the only one that stands out is hers.
Oh my god this is so relatable
AAAH Claudia I definitely remember having a crush on my 4th grade math teacher, I was like 9 years old and I was like obsessed with this teacher, I thought she was so perfect and beautiful and I loved her voice and I just wanted to be around her and I had like a weird urge to follow her around and I would be jealous if she was talking to other kids 😂😂 I definitely know what you’re talking about lmfao
i only first started being romantically attracted to girls when i went through puberty and started feeling sexual feelings for my friends who were girls
-idk thats just how it was for me-
I am still slightly confused. I have like no girl crushes, but in 5th grade I was dating a girl and we had an amazing relationship, but it didn't last. I am now dating a different girl, I love how weird she is, I love her laugh, I love how she cuddles, I love everything about her! But I still have only crushes on boys, and I hate a lot of the girls in my school. I know I shouldn't be thinking about being with someone else when I am dating an amazing girl, but I'm so confused on why I like boys, but not other girls! btw my picture is of my girlfriend and I, she is the taller one.
I remember in primary school I loved giving girls in my class back massages lol (apparently I was good at it :P). I felt so happy when they were sitting on my lap or when a girl hugged me :D I was even called a lesbian by one girl, that was supposed to insult me. Funny thing, she was one of the few girls that didn't have a boyfriend. Maybe she was gay too, so she noticed the same thing about me, but couldn't accept herself. Idk.
Then I had the biggest crush on my best friend when I was 13, but thought it was just friendship. Now I know it was true love cause I'm 26, we don't see each other anymore, but I still love her and would marry her.
Anyway I got a huge crush on a female celebrity when I was 15 and it was the first crush I really recognized. Then another crush on the most beautiful girl in high school. And after that kinda nothing :( I just notice beautiful women everywhere, but no romantic feelings. But I still know I want to find a wife ^^
It's nice to hear some shit I can actually relate to, like the ol do I want to be you? or be WITH you? delema hahaha