60 here and another mother figure if you need one. I have 3 girls. Oldest = bi Middle = hetero Youngest = ace I didn't get to choose and neither did they. All I could do is love them as they went through trying to understand themselves. They are 36, 34, and 33, so while they were growing up, people were still not kind about thinking outside the box. Things have gotten a bit better. It's been good for them to always know they were close at home.
I'm a straight woman, but yeah, the core message was for all of us who are struggling with our own self-image, with accepting ourselves. Thank you for being vulnerable with us. Thank you for the lovely view. Thank you for the message. God bless you and may we all find strength from within to accept our real selves.
Be scared, do it anyway ❤ I think it's hard for bi/pan people to judge their own attractiveness. I'm not my own cup of tea, but I am someone else's and that's ok.
Tysm. I am a trans and pansexual guy. When I was little, I remember having hours of arguments with myself, trying to figure out what was wrong with me, who I liked, who I was. I tried to talk it over with my mother, but since I was too young she didn't give it a second thought. I knew I was a boy when I was 10/11 years old. I was absolutely sure. Soon after that I had my first school crush and it turned out to be a girl. Years later I managed to talk to my parents and tell them who I was. I'm still trying to figure myself out to this day. My sexuality is confusing, I'm not even clear on it at all. I've been hovering on the spectrum of being bi, pan, gay. But I have my whole life ahead of me to figure it out. I think it's important not to put labels on yourself and be happy with who you want to be. Thank you again for this message. I wish I could have heard it sooner. My younger self would have been so happy
I tell my teen you don't have to focus on trying to label yourself. You just love who you love. And the person you are grows and is constantly changing. Focus on being the best you, you can be. And that clothes are just clothes. They help you express yourself.
There is an infinitesimal likelihood that you will read this based on how long this video was posted, but I do want to say that you were brave to put yourself out there with this personal awareness. I am also bisexual, but as a woman, I probably had it a bit easier coming out and accepting my desires since woman/woman situations are not as harshly judged by society. But I also walked a similar path as yours in some regards. What I have found as I age is that sexuality evolves as we do, coupled with our ability to grow in self love and confidence. I do not see sexuality as something fixed but as degrees of possibilities. I am mostly drawn to men, but there is the occasional woman that leaves me breathless. I've also discovered that my eyes might like someone I see but real sexual attraction in its truest and most spiritual form requires several layers about that person to create a most satisfying experience. As such, I am rarely interested in just anyone to have sex with nothing that connects emotionally, but it doesn't mean that I don't want to enjoy intense physical pleasure. I found your channel when you did "I'm a book boyfriend" video and I just fell in internet love with you. Keep being so authentic (something that I value) and thanks for sharing your deep thoughts and also entertaining us.
Cooking supper here, just weeping… lol. Even though this is a letter to self, this message resonates deeply and (with hope) widely. Grateful for your calm strength and radiant transparency. Proud of you for posting. Vulnerability is seldom easy but always worthwhile. 🌻 (*as I ponder deleting this comment 😅)
I wish I could give you a big hug as you talk about these things, Stuart, both because I relate so much to what you've been through (and are going through), but also for your courage to be open about all of this. I can't even imagine how much easier it might have been growing up if I had discovered that there were other people out there who understood my experience. I'm confident that there will be many who will gain some self-acceptance because of your willingness to share.
Darlin, I know straight people w/ those same issues. My older sister didnt feel comfortable in her own body so she tried to pimp me out three times cause she thought by "lowering my self worth" would raise hers. I've had people talk about me in variety of ways thinking it would , again, lower my self worth or make others hate me so I'd hate me. And I agree w/ your definition of boundaries
Take time to love who you are becoming and self care is important. It can take time to fully except the person you will become and that's okay. Always love yourself.
Thank you for sharing this ❤ So sad you had to go through all this hardship to find yourself and who you are. But at the end of it all - that is what shaped and formed you to be this amazing person you are now. You deserve to be loved and loved by so many already, but I do understand and respect your words - that things like that maybe hard for you to hear and accept. ❤
That was incredible brave, Stuart. Think you so much for your openness and vulnerability. I wish for you and so many other people (including me, battling with depression and burn out and self value issues), that you could see yourself with someone else’s eyes. For many, many people, you’re a role model. So your younger self can proudly look up to you too ❤ you’ve come so far. And I don’t want to talk only about physical beauty (but boy…. I’m married, but not blind…), but you have this aura of a beautiful person inside and out, because you care for yourself ❤
You are way harder on yourself than anyone else is. At my age (61) I have finally realized that all the time I spent beating myself down and obsessing about what other people thought about me was meaningless because the majority of them were doing the exact same thing. People who are sure enough of themselves - especially at a young age - to be fully participating in life without worrying/caring about what others think are few and far between. You have done and are doing a tremendous amount of work and introspection and really need to take a moment and realize how strong and brave you are. Not to mention that you are gorgeous and I would kill for your hair...🥰💜💜
It was exactly the same for me, don't know if it was menopause 😅 but one beautiful day I asked myself: why am I always worrying about "what people will say"? I wish it had happened before though! Also, you're right about Stuart's hair 😍😍😍
You are beautiful and your energy is so calming. I hope you love yourself because the world would be a sad place without your advice, breathtaking scenery…and the fact you’re shirtless in a lot of your videos would be horribly missed. 😉
I wish I could tell my parents about my true self but I fear they will reject me at the age of almost 32. My father doesn't know what I practice religion wise or how I feel about my sexuality. He doesn't know I'm bi. My mother and step father don't know I'm bi. My step sister came out as bi and my mom instantly said " oh she's confused. She doesn't know what she wants. She's going thru a phase." My mom is a lot more forgiving than my father. She accepts my quirks and weirdness. Just not dad. But non of them know I'm bi. I guess I still have some growing to do.
From one bi redhead to another. It’s not easy. And there will always ppl that won’t agree or understand. Be you, be happy. And keep growing as a person. Hugs luv
Men with long hair are not solely feminine - it makes them masculine. It's just another type of masculinity. Think about Samson and his hair for example. Every man has a faminine aspect - no matter how long his hair is, and every woman has a masculine side, no matter what her hair length is. Tis just how it is. 🙃
There was a point in my life that I thought I liked girls as well. My mom talked to me about it and it did help me to determine whether or not I was attracted to women. So at one point I was bi, but here recently i changed it to being bi-curious, meaning I'm curious about it, but that doesn't fully determine if I'm bi. I still see myself straight though, other than that (:
I'm 32 and still only out to a few friends. Closest I got to talking to family about it was a hypothetical (looking back it had all the subtlty of your normal 13 year old) conversation about not factoring gender into attraction. The answer given was a strong "Someone can feel that but its wrong to act on it". I pushed it down for a long time but looking back I can see how it effected my relationships with other guys. When I was younger every time I got close to being more than casual friends with a guy I'd start to distance myself, I wasn't attracted to all of them but I think I was just too afraid of my feelings. I've got a lot of learning (and unlearning) to do.
I’m in a similar boat at 29 (and apologies for this notification 7months later, just watching this video now). A few people know from when I was living in Washington, DC and Philadelphia, but no one from home (from the southeastern portion of the US) and no family. I guess they might already kind of know, but at least none that I’ve come out to. Also still have a lot deconstructing and learning to do.
@@katiel.3417 What I've been learning is that the most important person to come out to is yourself. There are many different sides of you and not everyone needs to know every side unless it becomes relevant. That being said I've also found a local LGBTQ+ group I'm a part of and that has helped a lot - we just play D&D but just being around other people who are free to be out in that setting is quite freeing too.
❤❤ You're a beautiful soul and 🎉 growing pains are hard but for us older generations of Bi and Kinky people....yeah it gives me hope seeing this as I watch my 5yro, who has no doubt of being somewhere not sheeple sexually. Thank you for being extremely open and honest
I can identify with so much of what you spoke about through this whole video. Thank you for making me feel that i am not there only one that felt these things. Still battle with some of these things even at 41. It’s a journey. Thank you for sharing yours with us
Stuart, I'm a 65 year old bisexual woman. I hear and acknowledge your journey. I wish that when I was young there had been someone to say all this to me. Our journeys are similar in some ways. It just took me longer. Take care of yourself. Be true to yourself. Be your true self. From an bisexual woman old enough to be your granny.
Thank you Stuart, I'll share with my daughter. Sierra is now 20 and from the time she was around 12 or 13 I already knew she was either Bi or a Lesbian and I didn't care as long as she was happy. When some of her friends began coming out to each other about their sexuality she would let me know and we'd talk about whether or not they had said anything to their parents and some of the reasons why they had or had not. One, I wanted to know which parents knew and who didn't so I didn't say anything I shouldn't. I felt that it was not my place to spill those beans.Two, I wanted her friends to have a "safe space" and be comfortable when they visited. Sierra knew I was cool with her friends no matter what and I began to make to known to her that as long as she loves someone unconditionally who loves her back the same way, gender didn't matter. She came out to me first before her father that she was Bi when she was around 14 or 15 and I remember telling her that I already knew and had for awhile, but didn't say anything because the important thing was for her to figure it on her own. Her father is supportive though it took him a little longer to be comfortable with it. I see her struggle with continuing to figure things out and feeling a part of the LGBTQ+ community because, strangely, being Bi is not that accepted among them. it seems that people think there are "sides" and if you say your Bi, well, you're just "confused" especially when you are young and not experienced in relationships. I hate it that this happens, it's not "confusion" and there are no "sides." And as a mom, her mom, I worry. I watch the news and LGBTQ friendly club suffers a mass shooting and I just want what any parent really wants, for her to be safe no matter what. I don't know all of the lingo or the different groups within the community, but I try to learn and I ask her questions so that I have a better understanding of who she is as a person and who her friends are. I only hope that I can make her life journey, maybe not easier, but not lonely. Videos like these are helpful in helping me understand her better and how to support her journey. Thank you.
This is the support every child needs. No matter if they’re queer or straight, if they’re neurodivergent, if they’re neurotypical- no matter what. Every child deserves love. For who they are. You are a great Mum! You are supportive. You want to learn to be an even better Mum (if possible). Great shout out to you. Keep going! ❤
As an older straight woman, I would think it is harder to be bi than it is to be one way or the other. You are a talented and worthwhile human being, I hope you find peace and love. The world can be a cruel place.
I am a member of the green couch club 😁 and I have someone very dear to my heart who is as well. He is significantly older than we are, he is very masculine and articulates the same struggles and fears that you do in this video. Thank you for being vulnerable, brave, and orrrrsome in being "out" - when there are still many people in the world who cannot. 💚🧜♀️💜
Thank you so much Stuart for making this video. I had a lot of those same thoughts for when I was coming out as a Bi woman…you talked a little about it in the video and also in your TikTok/insta, but, thanks for also bringing awareness to men’s mental health and ED..it really isn’t talked about often, especially men with eating disorders. I lost one of my closest friends to it about 5 years ago. He was gay and his parents disowned him because of it. And I think he felt his life was out of control and the one thing he could was what he put or didn’t put in his body. I’m proud of you that you keep fighting your battle with it, because I know that it is a hard one. And also, just thank you for the smiles you given us as a community, and the deep questions that you throw out there. Much love to you. ❤❤
The thing I love most about this video is that your not telling yourself.. Don't do this, don't do that, change this, change that..Etc. Instead you explain to yourself all the wonderful and awful things you have done, felt, been made to feel and show that you have made peace with those things. You have grown and progressed and continue to learn to love yourself day after day. This is a beautiful and powerful video. Love you Stuart💜 I hope you have a good day!
Hey Stuart, you are so beautiful and brave, I am a 67 yr old born female, and my whole life I have been attracted to bisexual men. They have given me my most fulfilling relationships, unfortunately, none ever worked out long term and I am alone in my old age. Don't give up hope,there can be someone who loves all the aspects of you. I do,I am like your crazy auntie! You are AMAZING!🙉🙈🙊🙏❤❤❤🌈🌠🦋
The boundaries mention was so profound. I usually stay away from people who want to invade my boundary space. But I like your thought. I don’t need to forgo boundaries anymore to be popular and or to try new things.a long time ago my “friends” wanted me to do lots of cocaine and also keep it for them. One night my nose wouldn’t stop bleeding. I went to the ENT dr. Had to have an operation. When I stopped using cocaine, I felt people hated me. My friends at work abandoned me. I actually found another job. But the boundary wisdom you put forth does resound in my mind. No matter how much therapy I’ve had, it never made me have a thought where there’s nothing ridiculous about having boundaries and stand by them.
Thank you so much for sharing something so deep, personal and intimate. Is highly appreciated. I love how you talked about boundaries, completely agree, is not about rejection but the requirements for one to share their space. Hugs 🫂
Thank you. To accept oneself is truely a hard thing. I guess my mind is twisted in the other direction. I am bi as well, but a woman and I often think, that I'm not feminine enough. I still struggle with my self image, because I know, what I want, but I feel like I *should* want something else.
Absolutely love this video ❤️ could help so many young people rn For me, as a little pansexual child I believed everyone loved all genders (don't ask me how, I'm sorry). Was a huge shock when my same-sex crush didn't want to go out with me because "I'm a girl. You're a girl. That's weeeiiirddd". For a few months I was trying to come to terms with sexuality, but now I really don't care who knows about my gender attraction and whatnot. Would send this to my 8 year old self 💗💗💗
Wonderful reflections Stuart. The biggest key is to be good to ourselves. Taking this space to talk about your experiences and knowledge so openly and showing your vulnerability is so brave. Thank you for doing this.
This was incredible, and absolute proof that you never know what anyone is going through. Always struggled with self-loathing and a poor body image but attraction isn't just looks. As long as you try to be good, try to be kind, try to do better you will be beautiful to those that know you; For anyone with a negative outward image of you, they don't deserve to know you. This was so beautifully done, and I'm so glad you're more accepting of yourself 💙 Off to go and find myself a lake 😁 xxxx
Growing up thorns to roses is tuff. I was there too. Hating while loving, pulling pushing till tears fell. A salty rain on my tangled garden. Many things change many want and dreams lay scattered. The "I wish I had known" strongly resonates. But if I only focus on the thorns I would never have found the Roses. Hope you find yours, as I found mine.
you've done so much hard work to reach this place: well done dear. I'm so glad you've made it, I feel lucky we ride under a flag together. Sending hugs from my own cold shore.
I'm so sorry for the difficult times you've had. It's beautiful that you are sharing your true self here, making the world a better and kinder place. Love and hugs ❤
I really liked this video and it made me quite sad because it made me realise that I do most things that you talked about, and it's making me want to change for the better. and it's nice to know that someone else has felt/is feeling the same way I do and that I'm not alone. And this video just made me feel loved and seen. Thank you
Thank you for making this video. I am bisexual too and I don't think I've ever found a video that summed up what I felt like growing up better than this one! This is such a brave and healthy message and I can't imagine, more honest, better thought through, or more understandable way of articulating male bisexuality.
Full disclosure, I am probably older than most on your channel, but I am hearing what you are saying and it is so important and valuable. I grew up in an era where females were completely subservient to males . I was told my highest purpose was to marry and have children, anything less was failure. Additionally, I experienced a lot of abuse, sexual and otherwise, as a child, so add those two experiences together and you get a human who knows she needs a man and is expecting to be abused. It hasn't been easy. Now, many decades later, I am on my own because it is safer. I thought for a while, that being with a woman would be better, but I am still doubting my abilities to navigate the pathways of a relationship. Old habits die hard. Hearing you advocate for setting boundaries and sticking with them gives me hope for younger generations. Thank you for speaking out.
I hear you and I see you Stuart. Oh to be able to go back and tell our little selves to stop worrying what other think of you, to embrace what you love and be authentic to who you are. To help your little self understand the constant anxiety, insecurities and negative self-talk is so harmful and to provide words of respect, healing and hope. I have great respect for you doing the vlog. That takes a lot of courage and you got it!
This made me cry watching this. I think it is amazing that you share your deepest thoughts and feelings with us all which is not always easy. Knowing someone like you exists in this world makes life that much brighter x
Wow. Everything you just stated everything so eloquently and logically. I don’t think I came to the realization how many of my experiences align with you shared with us. As a pansexual person, my come to terms moment was “Oh. I’m pansexual. That means I just didn’t know. Guess my traumatic and abusive experiences masked/shoved down my desires.” I never took the time to recognize how my sexuality also impacted my anorexia/bulimia, self-image and love. Thank you for sharing with us. I know have another piece in a puzzle that I was missing and can work on :)
My life was changed one day while searching Ireland content on another app and found this goofy man, and my life continues to be changed almost daily by his influence and all he has brought into my life in the last 2 years. Today was one to remember.
Love yourself the best you can. As someone in their 40s, I missed out on so much due to my self hatred. I wish I could say that my view on myself was better and before my brain injury I was loving myself more. Don't wait till tomorrow.
Thank you for existing, Stuart in my world. Thank you for sharing yourself and your tumultuous journey with the world! You are brilliant and ao beautifully authentically you. I like you, I could absolutely truly love you.
You are a beautiful person. Be who you feel you need to be and be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished, and what you will accomplish as you learn to grow and accept yourself.❤
I am much older than you and my journey took longer but your story resonated with me. Especially the anonymous encounters to prove we conform to the norm
Thank you SO much for being brave and open with us. Right there with you. I’m such a late bloomer bi girl that I was 30 before I realized I’m bi (when I fell in love with my 1sr gf). The biggest thing that surprised me was not so much tiny people who accepted me; it were the people I thought would be accepting and were SO not. Stuart, you have the biggest, kindest heart. I hope you are as kind to yourself as you are to others. Great talk about boundaries! Needed that reminder. You’ve got this. We believe in you. ❤😇
Thank you for your honesty and transparency. This kind of content is beneficial for your own healing but also for so many others- no matter where they are in their journey. For what it's worth you should be proud of who you are, what you do and all that you stand for. I know I'm just some random person behind a screen but I'm proud of you too ♥️🫂
As someone who has recently come through the dark side of all of this and finding a healthy relationship with myself and my identity, I want to say thank you for sharing this vulnerable part of it all. It's very much the same way in a reverse with femininity and masculinity for a bisexual woman and the explanation you have here made a few things click in understanding of 'ah, yes, that's a very good way to put how it goes, how it went'. I realize it's nearly a year later that this video came across my feed, but thank you.
🫂 Thank you. I promised myself when I was younger that I would never forget what it was like. We grow and we change and your younger self is a part of you. Sometimes we sit with them because even if no one else loved who we were, we do. And when we don't feel loveable we can remember the moments we forgave ourselves and loved these children that didn't know better and we can know that someday we'll love ourselves in this moment. Just maybe not today. Sorry for rambling. Sending hugs🫂
Huggs to you. Being a much older person, I can safely say that you hit a lot of things on the head of the nail. Younger me wondered and tried to fit in but now, I'm at a point in my life I have the mindset it took a long time to accept who and what I am about that I definitely wish I had figured it out 30 or so yrs ago. Take care and positive thoughts. ❤️
People are complex and ever changing. Even such things as gender identities and sexuality can change or vary over time and it can therefore be difficult to “find“ yourself. Came out as bi 15 years ago and it’s been a rollercoaster of changes and realisations since then. One thing I’ve worked on the past two years is being kinder to myself and thinking kinder thoughts about myself. You experience life in your brain, so shape it by being kind to yourself through the ups and downs. You are who you are, and that person will learn and grow and change. That’s okay.
Stuart, ty so much for being so transparent. I don’t know if you considered this, but blogs like this can save lives! Your journey to self-awareness was different from mine, but the similarities are enough that I could look back with pride at how far I’ve come.
Stewart, everything is going to be ok. I support you. We support you. You are so hard on yourself. Please don't be as you have people here who care about you. You just being you is ok. Self acceptance and loving yourself is difficult and it is a journey we all have to face. It is a learning experience and in the end you will be at a point in your life where you don't give a darn about what people think as this is where i am today. One baby step at a time. Yes, you will have good and bad days and good and bad moments, but when you feel confused and you are hurting inside remember those good days and moments as they will push you through. Take one baby step at a time. God Blessings to you, Stewart.
Okay, so first, thank you so much for sharing this. So much of what you said resonated with me, especially setting boundaries (touchy subject). Second, you are a good advocate for the LBGT folk. You're a part of the community, you struggle, you share your experience. That helps. Never doubt that. Just... thank you. By sharing your struggles and set backs and the times you try, you're showing us we're not alone. That is worth so much more than I could ever explain. Have a wonderful week, good luck for your auditions and keep going. ❤
I am an old man (77) and have been an out activist for over 50 years. I admire you. From this great distance, I send along hugs for your journey. I would like to share my story, if ever you would be interested. Thank you for sharing.
I remember when i came out at 11.... My parents said i would get over it.... so 20 years later, still going strong as a bisexual! It isn't anything to feel ashamed of, especially in this culture. Everyone is super accepting. I do have to say i was a pretty emo kid, lots of emotions, and lots of love to give. But yes, feeling safe in a relationship, no matter who you are with, is most important
@@Magentawoo59447 Yup! I've dated both guys and gals in my day 🥰 Most of the time, it is not our parents generation or above that approve, but our friends and those who are of newer generations! Times have really changed and people are a lot more accepting!
@@Magentawoo59447 Sometimes, you know, it isn't important what they think, my parents blew it off when i was 11, but i've accepted that it is too hard for them to acknowledge it. I lived my life, and whenever i bring someone home, they give me the talk on whether or not the person is good for my life or not. In the end, it is my decision, but i just know what they said, and if it doesn't work out, i learn something, and what to look for in the next partner. I speak freely now, especially being an adult, I am equal, i can judge their lifestyle, and it doesn't matter what they think of mine. If they love you, they won't give you a hard time, maybe their opinion, but in the end, family loves you for you, and it will just become normal. Find your happiness, and if it ever feels like this person is worthy of being presented to your family, then give them the notice on your parents personalities. My parents are VERY old school. So i always warn my partner to watch what they say, because if they slip up on their wording, it will literally flip a table. And i haven't had anything bad happen since. I know i locked my mom out of my life for two years, and she would rather accept my faults, then to not have me in her life at all. So one opinionated outburst from her, wasn't worth it in the end, she had a hard lesson to learn, but now we are back to being best friends! Parents are literally 18 year olds stuck in a developing body. They got to learn new things too! And when you realise that you are not that different, you can start to teach them things, It is a lot of fun! But it is up to you if you feel the need to even tell them, i don't know how your parents are, but i know that for a lot of people, having accepting friends and just living out your life is enough.
Honestly, this legit on more than just sexuality. It's about being you, I am still struggling as a trans-man still trying to figure out if I am actually what I am sexually and in a toxic relationship I can't seem to escape. I, for one, think you're amazing and one day I will be not so far way since I have plans to moving to South-Mid Wales or Scotland, and/or possibly Ireland (the latter depends on some things)
You are truly an amazing person, I connect with you in so many ways! I enjoy every bit of your content! You are truly an inspiration for all humanity! God knew what he was doing when he put you here! ❤
Stuart,you have a gift.I feel calm within myself when I hear your voice sharing your inner thoughts with us. We are all so much alike, if we're honest.
I wish you had someone like you when you are growing up. Because I am 10000% sure videos like this make a huge impact. Proud of you buddy ❤❤❤
If he did he’d absolutely have a crush on that person. Cuz he’s gorgeous and sweet and funny and so honest.
For sure, well acknowledged. Me too, honestly. 💚
🩷💜💙 Bi support! We're the B in LGBT! Consider me a bonus mom in New Jersey and know that I'm proud of you. You're one of my favorite TH-camrs.
We can Not choose Out human Containers, so ITS about the Soul and in which way WE Love. Shine your Lights. 💝🌟🔥💎
60 here and another mother figure if you need one.
I have 3 girls.
Oldest = bi
Middle = hetero
Youngest = ace
I didn't get to choose and neither did they.
All I could do is love them as they went through trying to understand themselves.
They are 36, 34, and 33, so while they were growing up, people were still not kind about thinking outside the box.
Things have gotten a bit better.
It's been good for them to always know they were close at home.
I'm a straight woman, but yeah, the core message was for all of us who are struggling with our own self-image, with accepting ourselves. Thank you for being vulnerable with us. Thank you for the lovely view. Thank you for the message. God bless you and may we all find strength from within to accept our real selves.
This is an important message for so many people to hear. Thank you Stuart.
Be scared, do it anyway ❤
I think it's hard for bi/pan people to judge their own attractiveness. I'm not my own cup of tea, but I am someone else's and that's ok.
Tysm. I am a trans and pansexual guy. When I was little, I remember having hours of arguments with myself, trying to figure out what was wrong with me, who I liked, who I was. I tried to talk it over with my mother, but since I was too young she didn't give it a second thought. I knew I was a boy when I was 10/11 years old. I was absolutely sure. Soon after that I had my first school crush and it turned out to be a girl. Years later I managed to talk to my parents and tell them who I was. I'm still trying to figure myself out to this day. My sexuality is confusing, I'm not even clear on it at all. I've been hovering on the spectrum of being bi, pan, gay. But I have my whole life ahead of me to figure it out. I think it's important not to put labels on yourself and be happy with who you want to be. Thank you again for this message. I wish I could have heard it sooner. My younger self would have been so happy
I tell my teen you don't have to focus on trying to label yourself. You just love who you love. And the person you are grows and is constantly changing. Focus on being the best you, you can be. And that clothes are just clothes. They help you express yourself.
This is the type of Bi rep I needed to see. This beautiful, mopey and poetic Bi Guy is exactly what I needed to have thrust at me by the algorithm.
Thank you for this. It was beautiful and vulnerable and will touch a lot of people. Myself included. So proud of you!
There is an infinitesimal likelihood that you will read this based on how long this video was posted, but I do want to say that you were brave to put yourself out there with this personal awareness. I am also bisexual, but as a woman, I probably had it a bit easier coming out and accepting my desires since woman/woman situations are not as harshly judged by society. But I also walked a similar path as yours in some regards. What I have found as I age is that sexuality evolves as we do, coupled with our ability to grow in self love and confidence. I do not see sexuality as something fixed but as degrees of possibilities. I am mostly drawn to men, but there is the occasional woman that leaves me breathless. I've also discovered that my eyes might like someone I see but real sexual attraction in its truest and most spiritual form requires several layers about that person to create a most satisfying experience. As such, I am rarely interested in just anyone to have sex with nothing that connects emotionally, but it doesn't mean that I don't want to enjoy intense physical pleasure. I found your channel when you did "I'm a book boyfriend" video and I just fell in internet love with you. Keep being so authentic (something that I value) and thanks for sharing your deep thoughts and also entertaining us.
Cooking supper here, just weeping… lol. Even though this is a letter to self, this message resonates deeply and (with hope) widely. Grateful for your calm strength and radiant transparency. Proud of you for posting. Vulnerability is seldom easy but always worthwhile. 🌻 (*as I ponder deleting this comment 😅)
Life is such a messed up journey but you gotta know there is someone watching this video who needs to hear this!
Stuart... You are valid. You are loved ❤
Thinking this could be so educational!
I wish I could give you a big hug as you talk about these things, Stuart, both because I relate so much to what you've been through (and are going through), but also for your courage to be open about all of this. I can't even imagine how much easier it might have been growing up if I had discovered that there were other people out there who understood my experience. I'm confident that there will be many who will gain some self-acceptance because of your willingness to share.
So many important messages in this ❤ You deserve love and healthy relationships
Darlin, I know straight people w/ those same issues. My older sister didnt feel comfortable in her own body so she tried to pimp me out three times cause she thought by "lowering my self worth" would raise hers.
I've had people talk about me in variety of ways thinking it would , again, lower my self worth or make others hate me so I'd hate me.
And I agree w/ your definition of boundaries
3 minutes in, and I'm tearing up. I really needed to hear these after doubting my bisexuality. Thank you very much.
Take time to love who you are becoming and self care is important. It can take time to fully except the person you will become and that's okay. Always love yourself.
Stewart, thank you for being a great, strong, brave, and honest role model to people of all ages.
Thank you for sharing this ❤ So sad you had to go through all this hardship to find yourself and who you are. But at the end of it all - that is what shaped and formed you to be this amazing person you are now. You deserve to be loved and loved by so many already, but I do understand and respect your words - that things like that maybe hard for you to hear and accept. ❤
That was incredible brave, Stuart. Think you so much for your openness and vulnerability. I wish for you and so many other people (including me, battling with depression and burn out and self value issues), that you could see yourself with someone else’s eyes.
For many, many people, you’re a role model. So your younger self can proudly look up to you too ❤ you’ve come so far. And I don’t want to talk only about physical beauty (but boy…. I’m married, but not blind…), but you have this aura of a beautiful person inside and out, because you care for yourself ❤
You are way harder on yourself than anyone else is. At my age (61) I have finally realized that all the time I spent beating myself down and obsessing about what other people thought about me was meaningless because the majority of them were doing the exact same thing. People who are sure enough of themselves - especially at a young age - to be fully participating in life without worrying/caring about what others think are few and far between. You have done and are doing a tremendous amount of work and introspection and really need to take a moment and realize how strong and brave you are. Not to mention that you are gorgeous and I would kill for your hair...🥰💜💜
It was exactly the same for me, don't know if it was menopause 😅 but one beautiful day I asked myself: why am I always worrying about "what people will say"? I wish it had happened before though!
Also, you're right about Stuart's hair 😍😍😍
You are beautiful and your energy is so calming. I hope you love yourself because the world would be a sad place without your advice, breathtaking scenery…and the fact you’re shirtless in a lot of your videos would be horribly missed. 😉
Why does he need to go shirtless? Really ... why?
I wish I could tell my parents about my true self but I fear they will reject me at the age of almost 32. My father doesn't know what I practice religion wise or how I feel about my sexuality. He doesn't know I'm bi. My mother and step father don't know I'm bi. My step sister came out as bi and my mom instantly said " oh she's confused. She doesn't know what she wants. She's going thru a phase." My mom is a lot more forgiving than my father. She accepts my quirks and weirdness. Just not dad. But non of them know I'm bi. I guess I still have some growing to do.
From one bi redhead to another.
It’s not easy. And there will always ppl that won’t agree or understand.
Be you, be happy. And keep growing as a person.
Hugs luv
Dearest, your honesty resonates with so many & that is your gift.
Wonderful. That was lovely, Stuart. Happiness is so hard to grasp sometimes, but it sounds like you're on the way! We're behind you 💯 percent.
Men with long hair are not solely feminine - it makes them masculine. It's just another type of masculinity. Think about Samson and his hair for example. Every man has a faminine aspect - no matter how long his hair is, and every woman has a masculine side, no matter what her hair length is. Tis just how it is. 🙃
There was a point in my life that I thought I liked girls as well. My mom talked to me about it and it did help me to determine whether or not I was attracted to women. So at one point I was bi, but here recently i changed it to being bi-curious, meaning I'm curious about it, but that doesn't fully determine if I'm bi. I still see myself straight though, other than that (:
I'm 32 and still only out to a few friends.
Closest I got to talking to family about it was a hypothetical (looking back it had all the subtlty of your normal 13 year old) conversation about not factoring gender into attraction. The answer given was a strong "Someone can feel that but its wrong to act on it".
I pushed it down for a long time but looking back I can see how it effected my relationships with other guys. When I was younger every time I got close to being more than casual friends with a guy I'd start to distance myself, I wasn't attracted to all of them but I think I was just too afraid of my feelings.
I've got a lot of learning (and unlearning) to do.
I’m in a similar boat at 29 (and apologies for this notification 7months later, just watching this video now). A few people know from when I was living in Washington, DC and Philadelphia, but no one from home (from the southeastern portion of the US) and no family. I guess they might already kind of know, but at least none that I’ve come out to. Also still have a lot deconstructing and learning to do.
@@katiel.3417 What I've been learning is that the most important person to come out to is yourself. There are many different sides of you and not everyone needs to know every side unless it becomes relevant.
That being said I've also found a local LGBTQ+ group I'm a part of and that has helped a lot - we just play D&D but just being around other people who are free to be out in that setting is quite freeing too.
❤❤ You're a beautiful soul and 🎉 growing pains are hard but for us older generations of Bi and Kinky people....yeah it gives me hope seeing this as I watch my 5yro, who has no doubt of being somewhere not sheeple sexually. Thank you for being extremely open and honest
I can identify with so much of what you spoke about through this whole video. Thank you for making me feel that i am not there only one that felt these things. Still battle with some of these things even at 41. It’s a journey. Thank you for sharing yours with us
So much I relate to. Just thank you. I'll forever be grateful for the day our paths crossed. ♥️
Stuart, I'm a 65 year old bisexual woman. I hear and acknowledge your journey. I wish that when I was young there had been someone to say all this to me. Our journeys are similar in some ways. It just took me longer. Take care of yourself. Be true to yourself. Be your true self. From an bisexual woman old enough to be your granny.
Thank you Stuart, I'll share with my daughter. Sierra is now 20 and from the time she was around 12 or 13 I already knew she was either Bi or a Lesbian and I didn't care as long as she was happy. When some of her friends began coming out to each other about their sexuality she would let me know and we'd talk about whether or not they had said anything to their parents and some of the reasons why they had or had not. One, I wanted to know which parents knew and who didn't so I didn't say anything I shouldn't. I felt that it was not my place to spill those beans.Two, I wanted her friends to have a "safe space" and be comfortable when they visited. Sierra knew I was cool with her friends no matter what and I began to make to known to her that as long as she loves someone unconditionally who loves her back the same way, gender didn't matter. She came out to me first before her father that she was Bi when she was around 14 or 15 and I remember telling her that I already knew and had for awhile, but didn't say anything because the important thing was for her to figure it on her own. Her father is supportive though it took him a little longer to be comfortable with it. I see her struggle with continuing to figure things out and feeling a part of the LGBTQ+ community because, strangely, being Bi is not that accepted among them. it seems that people think there are "sides" and if you say your Bi, well, you're just "confused" especially when you are young and not experienced in relationships. I hate it that this happens, it's not "confusion" and there are no "sides." And as a mom, her mom, I worry. I watch the news and LGBTQ friendly club suffers a mass shooting and I just want what any parent really wants, for her to be safe no matter what. I don't know all of the lingo or the different groups within the community, but I try to learn and I ask her questions so that I have a better understanding of who she is as a person and who her friends are. I only hope that I can make her life journey, maybe not easier, but not lonely. Videos like these are helpful in helping me understand her better and how to support her journey. Thank you.
This is the support every child needs. No matter if they’re queer or straight, if they’re neurodivergent, if they’re neurotypical- no matter what. Every child deserves love. For who they are. You are a great Mum! You are supportive. You want to learn to be an even better Mum (if possible). Great shout out to you. Keep going! ❤
You just described my own journey and feelings growing up as bisexual. Thank you. ❤
As an older straight woman, I would think it is harder to be bi than it is to be one way or the other. You are a talented and worthwhile human being, I hope you find peace and love. The world can be a cruel place.
I am a member of the green couch club 😁 and I have someone very dear to my heart who is as well. He is significantly older than we are, he is very masculine and articulates the same struggles and fears that you do in this video. Thank you for being vulnerable, brave, and orrrrsome in being "out" - when there are still many people in the world who cannot. 💚🧜♀️💜
There are so many struggling right now, and you ARE making a difference. Thank you!
Thank you so much Stuart for making this video. I had a lot of those same thoughts for when I was coming out as a Bi woman…you talked a little about it in the video and also in your TikTok/insta, but, thanks for also bringing awareness to men’s mental health and ED..it really isn’t talked about often, especially men with eating disorders. I lost one of my closest friends to it about 5 years ago. He was gay and his parents disowned him because of it. And I think he felt his life was out of control and the one thing he could was what he put or didn’t put in his body. I’m proud of you that you keep fighting your battle with it, because I know that it is a hard one. And also, just thank you for the smiles you given us as a community, and the deep questions that you throw out there. Much love to you. ❤❤
The thing I love most about this video is that your not telling yourself.. Don't do this, don't do that, change this, change that..Etc. Instead you explain to yourself all the wonderful and awful things you have done, felt, been made to feel and show that you have made peace with those things. You have grown and progressed and continue to learn to love yourself day after day. This is a beautiful and powerful video. Love you Stuart💜 I hope you have a good day!
Hey Stuart, you are so beautiful and brave, I am a 67 yr old born female, and my whole life I have been attracted to bisexual men. They have given me my most fulfilling relationships, unfortunately, none ever worked out long term and I am alone in my old age. Don't give up hope,there can be someone who loves all the aspects of you. I do,I am like your crazy auntie! You are AMAZING!🙉🙈🙊🙏❤❤❤🌈🌠🦋
Stuart, some of us still struggle. Bravo. Keep being yourself!
Thank you so much for making this video. It helps so much the more people talk about this
The boundaries mention was so profound. I usually stay away from people who want to invade my boundary space. But I like your thought.
I don’t need to forgo boundaries anymore to be popular and or to try new things.a long time ago my “friends” wanted me to do lots of cocaine and also keep it for them. One night my nose wouldn’t stop bleeding. I went to the ENT dr. Had to have an operation. When I stopped using cocaine, I felt people hated me. My friends at work abandoned me. I actually found another job. But the boundary wisdom you put forth does resound in my mind. No matter how much therapy I’ve had, it never made me have a thought where there’s nothing ridiculous about having boundaries and stand by them.
Thank you so much for sharing something so deep, personal and intimate. Is highly appreciated. I love how you talked about boundaries, completely agree, is not about rejection but the requirements for one to share their space. Hugs 🫂
Thank you. To accept oneself is truely a hard thing. I guess my mind is twisted in the other direction. I am bi as well, but a woman and I often think, that I'm not feminine enough. I still struggle with my self image, because I know, what I want, but I feel like I *should* want something else.
Absolutely love this video ❤️ could help so many young people rn
For me, as a little pansexual child I believed everyone loved all genders (don't ask me how, I'm sorry). Was a huge shock when my same-sex crush didn't want to go out with me because "I'm a girl. You're a girl. That's weeeiiirddd". For a few months I was trying to come to terms with sexuality, but now I really don't care who knows about my gender attraction and whatnot. Would send this to my 8 year old self 💗💗💗
Wonderful reflections Stuart. The biggest key is to be good to ourselves. Taking this space to talk about your experiences and knowledge so openly and showing your vulnerability is so brave. Thank you for doing this.
This was incredible, and absolute proof that you never know what anyone is going through. Always struggled with self-loathing and a poor body image but attraction isn't just looks. As long as you try to be good, try to be kind, try to do better you will be beautiful to those that know you; For anyone with a negative outward image of you, they don't deserve to know you.
This was so beautifully done, and I'm so glad you're more accepting of yourself 💙
Off to go and find myself a lake 😁 xxxx
Thank you Stuart! And you really deserve so much love my friend ❤
This video just changed my why of seeing myself thank you Stuart .
Growing up thorns to roses is tuff. I was there too. Hating while loving, pulling pushing till tears fell. A salty rain on my tangled garden. Many things change many want and dreams lay scattered. The "I wish I had known" strongly resonates. But if I only focus on the thorns I would never have found the Roses. Hope you find yours, as I found mine.
you've done so much hard work to reach this place: well done dear. I'm so glad you've made it, I feel lucky we ride under a flag together. Sending hugs from my own cold shore.
So so cool to see you Stuart 💚💚💚
Thanks for making this video, sharing your experiences, being vulnerable and authentic.
This is beautiful because it is honest, brave and true. Thank you for sharing this.
I feel like this was both easy and not easy to do this video. So much about your story is familiar and I am so proud of you for doing this.
I'm so sorry for the difficult times you've had. It's beautiful that you are sharing your true self here, making the world a better and kinder place. Love and hugs ❤
Thank you for sharing your experiences and inner reflections. It helps when people can be open with things. ❤
I really liked this video and it made me quite sad because it made me realise that I do most things that you talked about, and it's making me want to change for the better. and it's nice to know that someone else has felt/is feeling the same way I do and that I'm not alone. And this video just made me feel loved and seen. Thank you
Thank you for making this video. I am bisexual too and I don't think I've ever found a video that summed up what I felt like growing up better than this one! This is such a brave and healthy message and I can't imagine, more honest, better thought through, or more understandable way of articulating male bisexuality.
Full disclosure, I am probably older than most on your channel, but I am hearing what you are saying and it is so important and valuable. I grew up in an era where females were completely subservient to males . I was told my highest purpose was to marry and have children, anything less was failure. Additionally, I experienced a lot of abuse, sexual and otherwise, as a child, so add those two experiences together and you get a human who knows she needs a man and is expecting to be abused. It hasn't been easy. Now, many decades later, I am on my own because it is safer. I thought for a while, that being with a woman would be better, but I am still doubting my abilities to navigate the pathways of a relationship. Old habits die hard. Hearing you advocate for setting boundaries and sticking with them gives me hope for younger generations. Thank you for speaking out.
I hear you and I see you Stuart. Oh to be able to go back and tell our little selves to stop worrying what other think of you, to embrace what you love and be authentic to who you are. To help your little self understand the constant anxiety, insecurities and negative self-talk is so harmful and to provide words of respect, healing and hope.
I have great respect for you doing the vlog. That takes a lot of courage and you got it!
This made me cry watching this. I think it is amazing that you share your deepest thoughts and feelings with us all which is not always easy. Knowing someone like you exists in this world makes life that much brighter x
Stuart you are a sweet person thank you for making this video you are loved 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
Wow. Everything you just stated everything so eloquently and logically. I don’t think I came to the realization how many of my experiences align with you shared with us. As a pansexual person, my come to terms moment was “Oh. I’m pansexual. That means I just didn’t know. Guess my traumatic and abusive experiences masked/shoved down my desires.” I never took the time to recognize how my sexuality also impacted my anorexia/bulimia, self-image and love. Thank you for sharing with us. I know have another piece in a puzzle that I was missing and can work on :)
My life was changed one day while searching Ireland content on another app and found this goofy man, and my life continues to be changed almost daily by his influence and all he has brought into my life in the last 2 years. Today was one to remember.
Love yourself the best you can. As someone in their 40s, I missed out on so much due to my self hatred. I wish I could say that my view on myself was better and before my brain injury I was loving myself more. Don't wait till tomorrow.
Thank you for existing, Stuart in my world. Thank you for sharing yourself and your tumultuous journey with the world! You are brilliant and ao beautifully authentically you. I like you, I could absolutely truly love you.
You are a beautiful person. Be who you feel you need to be and be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished, and what you will accomplish as you learn to grow and accept yourself.❤
Crucial information about boundaries. & also about body image & eating. & the value of getting into nature. Good on you.
I am much older than you and my journey took longer but your story resonated with me. Especially the anonymous encounters to prove we conform to the norm
Thank you SO much for being brave and open with us. Right there with you. I’m such a late bloomer bi girl that I was 30 before I realized I’m bi (when I fell in love with my 1sr gf). The biggest thing that surprised me was not so much tiny people who accepted me; it were the people I thought would be accepting and were SO not. Stuart, you have the biggest, kindest heart. I hope you are as kind to yourself as you are to others. Great talk about boundaries! Needed that reminder. You’ve got this. We believe in you. ❤😇
Thank you for your honesty and transparency. This kind of content is beneficial for your own healing but also for so many others- no matter where they are in their journey.
For what it's worth you should be proud of who you are, what you do and all that you stand for. I know I'm just some random person behind a screen but I'm proud of you too ♥️🫂
As someone who has recently come through the dark side of all of this and finding a healthy relationship with myself and my identity, I want to say thank you for sharing this vulnerable part of it all. It's very much the same way in a reverse with femininity and masculinity for a bisexual woman and the explanation you have here made a few things click in understanding of 'ah, yes, that's a very good way to put how it goes, how it went'. I realize it's nearly a year later that this video came across my feed, but thank you.
🫂 Thank you. I promised myself when I was younger that I would never forget what it was like. We grow and we change and your younger self is a part of you. Sometimes we sit with them because even if no one else loved who we were, we do. And when we don't feel loveable we can remember the moments we forgave ourselves and loved these children that didn't know better and we can know that someday we'll love ourselves in this moment. Just maybe not today. Sorry for rambling. Sending hugs🫂
You are an amazing and inspirational man. You deserve the best life has to offer. And by the way: you are eye candy!
Huggs to you. Being a much older person, I can safely say that you hit a lot of things on the head of the nail. Younger me wondered and tried to fit in but now, I'm at a point in my life I have the mindset it took a long time to accept who and what I am about that I definitely wish I had figured it out 30 or so yrs ago. Take care and positive thoughts. ❤️
❤😊 such a pleasure to see you creating 💕
People are complex and ever changing. Even such things as gender identities and sexuality can change or vary over time and it can therefore be difficult to “find“ yourself. Came out as bi 15 years ago and it’s been a rollercoaster of changes and realisations since then.
One thing I’ve worked on the past two years is being kinder to myself and thinking kinder thoughts about myself. You experience life in your brain, so shape it by being kind to yourself through the ups and downs. You are who you are, and that person will learn and grow and change. That’s okay.
Love and hugs to you Stuart 😘😘 xx
I'm so glaaaad you gave us this 🥹
I'm bi too. It was a huge realization for me
Stuart, ty so much for being so transparent. I don’t know if you considered this, but blogs like this can save lives!
Your journey to self-awareness was different from mine, but the similarities are enough that I could look back with pride at how far I’ve come.
Stewart, everything is going to be ok. I support you. We support you. You are so hard on yourself. Please don't be as you have people here who care about you. You just being you is ok. Self acceptance and loving yourself is difficult and it is a journey we all have to face. It is a learning experience and in the end you will be at a point in your life where you don't give a darn about what people think as this is where i am today. One baby step at a time. Yes, you will have good and bad days and good and bad moments, but when you feel confused and you are hurting inside remember those good days and moments as they will push you through. Take one baby step at a time. God Blessings to you, Stewart.
Love you Stuart..... you are a delight. I have complex childhood PTSD that came with a lot of the issues you describe. Keep fighting love.
Really appreciate the positivity you exhibit. you are a handsome young man in so many ways. Hugs for you Stuart
you're so beautiful 😳💗💞 and clever and a pleasure to virtually visit. THANK YOU!!! for sharing so so so much of yourself.
Stuart, you are so awesome!
Okay, so first, thank you so much for sharing this. So much of what you said resonated with me, especially setting boundaries (touchy subject). Second, you are a good advocate for the LBGT folk. You're a part of the community, you struggle, you share your experience. That helps. Never doubt that. Just... thank you. By sharing your struggles and set backs and the times you try, you're showing us we're not alone. That is worth so much more than I could ever explain. Have a wonderful week, good luck for your auditions and keep going. ❤
welcome to the community love
I am an old man (77) and have been an out activist for over 50 years. I admire you. From this great distance, I send along hugs for your journey. I would like to share my story, if ever you would be interested. Thank you for sharing.
I remember when i came out at 11.... My parents said i would get over it.... so 20 years later, still going strong as a bisexual! It isn't anything to feel ashamed of, especially in this culture. Everyone is super accepting. I do have to say i was a pretty emo kid, lots of emotions, and lots of love to give. But yes, feeling safe in a relationship, no matter who you are with, is most important
Really?
@@Magentawoo59447 Yup! I've dated both guys and gals in my day 🥰 Most of the time, it is not our parents generation or above that approve, but our friends and those who are of newer generations! Times have really changed and people are a lot more accepting!
I am bi but I don’t know how to tell my dad
Wow thx
@@Magentawoo59447 Sometimes, you know, it isn't important what they think, my parents blew it off when i was 11, but i've accepted that it is too hard for them to acknowledge it. I lived my life, and whenever i bring someone home, they give me the talk on whether or not the person is good for my life or not. In the end, it is my decision, but i just know what they said, and if it doesn't work out, i learn something, and what to look for in the next partner. I speak freely now, especially being an adult, I am equal, i can judge their lifestyle, and it doesn't matter what they think of mine. If they love you, they won't give you a hard time, maybe their opinion, but in the end, family loves you for you, and it will just become normal. Find your happiness, and if it ever feels like this person is worthy of being presented to your family, then give them the notice on your parents personalities. My parents are VERY old school. So i always warn my partner to watch what they say, because if they slip up on their wording, it will literally flip a table. And i haven't had anything bad happen since. I know i locked my mom out of my life for two years, and she would rather accept my faults, then to not have me in her life at all. So one opinionated outburst from her, wasn't worth it in the end, she had a hard lesson to learn, but now we are back to being best friends! Parents are literally 18 year olds stuck in a developing body. They got to learn new things too! And when you realise that you are not that different, you can start to teach them things, It is a lot of fun! But it is up to you if you feel the need to even tell them, i don't know how your parents are, but i know that for a lot of people, having accepting friends and just living out your life is enough.
I always wish I could reach through and give you a hug. You’re a good person. You deserve to be happy.
Honestly, this legit on more than just sexuality. It's about being you, I am still struggling as a trans-man still trying to figure out if I am actually what I am sexually and in a toxic relationship I can't seem to escape. I, for one, think you're amazing and one day I will be not so far way since I have plans to moving to South-Mid Wales or Scotland, and/or possibly Ireland (the latter depends on some things)
Just watched your Video Stuart I'm so proud of you ❤❤❤
You are truly an amazing person, I connect with you in so many ways! I enjoy every bit of your content! You are truly an inspiration for all humanity! God knew what he was doing when he put you here! ❤
Stuart,you have a gift.I feel calm within myself when I hear your
voice sharing your inner thoughts with us.
We are all so much alike, if we're honest.
You are such a wonderful person and a delightful influence for others.
This resonates deeply. Thank you. Just, thanks ❤