ya’ll constantly raising the bar. the way you can explain shit, and the things you choose to explain, this is honestly the best educational DID n OSDD channel on here.
I've been slowly piecing all this together through watching various system channels, but this is the most clear, concise explanation I've seen. Thank you :)
this is such a well explained video. although very positive members of this community, other DID/OSDD youtubers dont seem to make the details of these disorders as clear as you do. thank you!
Wow I think this is what I've always called feeling forward! There are rare rare times when I feel incredibly present, incredibly real, experiencing everything in 3D space, I feel like I'm fully inhabiting my body, everything is so vivid and with so much more depth, it feels like my eyes are placed more forwards in my head, that's why I call it feeling forward. Most of the time I feel kinda disconnected from my body, those times only happen if like I'm commuting or I'm outside on a sunny day and the light and shadows are playing a certain way, or this one time at a concert. There was one time with my boyfriend, we were about to get intimate and he had touched my hips in a certain way and I felt so distant, like in get out how they show that headspace. My body felt so alien and wrong, nothing felt right. There are some times when I feel taller, or things around me feel larger, or I feel shorter or younger or extremely masculine or sometimes quite feminine or mostly just totally agender. I look back on pictures I've taken when I was hanging out with friends and it just feels like someone else, it doesn't feel like I was there and did those things and experienced that. This person has been my best friend for years, yet if I'm not around her I almost always feel completely emotionally unattached from her. I went to a therapist for a while who specialized in DID among other things, I was seeing her for a separate issue but she thought I might have a dissociative disorder, we went through most of this super long questionnaire thing but never finished it, she felt it wasn't worth it and i couldn't relate to most of it. eventually we were running out of things to talk about, she said I seemed fine and I was like yeah things are fine, the thing I had originally gone to see her for was solved. She said that I had dissociative tendencies, and she left me with a model describing ANPs and EPs, explained coconsciousness and used a car model, so you're usually fronting in the driver's seat but sometimes an alter can come to the passengers seat, she explained the whole structural dissociation for me and encouraged me to try to find ties between my traumatic memories, triggers, but she never said this was did or osdd or anything, she was explaining structural dissociation, and I remember the last thing she said was that if I ever wanted to look more into where this dissociation comes from to not hesitate and come and see her, I thought that was strange because from my impression she had concluded that the dissociation wasn't anything really, she said I had dissociative tendencies. I remember there were always so many things I wanted to talk to her about but then I'd get to the therapy session and forget everything. Sometimes I'll be walking past the kids aisle, and I feel like a little kid again. Just recently I was with my boyfriend watching TV and i was thinking about something from my past, I'd had this memory for a long time I know because I remember remembering it and thinking over it when I was a kid but I just forgot. My heart started racing and I couldn't calm myself down, I told my boyfriend and he helped me to calm down but nothing like that has ever happened before, I think in the memory there is potential for something traumatic to have happened and it was when I was really young, but it's piecemeal and I can only remember the beginning and end. I'm so scared. I don't want to convince myself that something happened to me when it didn't but im so so scared. There was one time I was eating dinner with my family and my step dad said that he went out one night and seen me dancing in my room, just like automatically I was like "no you didn't, whatever you think you saw you were wrong" or something, it just flew out of my mouth and I couldn't believe and was so embarrassed about how immediately harsh I was I was completely reactionary, the words just came out of my mouth and then it was gone. I used to dance all the time, I still love to dance but I can only ever ever dance alone, tho I remember that my siblings and I used to have dance parties and I can't remember why I stopped. I remember my dad told me when I was young that my uncle Kevin, well not really my blood uncle, asked if I had gone to a strip club or something because apparently I danced like a prostitute. Thinking back on my life, it's so hard to believe that any of it really happened to me, that I was the one who experienced and lived it. I'm constantly forgetting where I've put things or what I'm doing. Sometimes the world looks just like life size toy models, or it feels like I'm dreaming. I want to go back to that therapist, part of me always really hated going there tho, and it's taking me so so long to try to set up an appointment again, now delayed even further because of covid.
Yes! We highly recommend going and talking to that therapist again. What we've done to help is write things down ahead of time, and show our therapist them so they don't instantly leave our head when we get into therapy (or another alter yanks the thoughts away!) This paragraph here would actually be a lovely thing to show her - and I hope you get an appointment soon ❤️
Oh that's really interesting to hear about since our system is a bit different! Since the spaces in the brain are a lot more strictly defined, my alters describe it as being like physical (but sort of metaphorical as well since it's in the mind obviously) space that you walk between. Our system has really strong communication due to there being a solid in world for them to interact with (we're still working on communication between the host and the others within the co-con I guess you'd call it because I'm front stuck and not used to any of this) but since all my alters have only known it was a system and had the vocabulary for about half a year now (They came up with some pretty wild theories trying to explain what was outside of the in-world before then but that's a different story) the terms we use are a little mixed up But essentially the headspace is what we call the co-con because my alters have it manifested as a room they can go into and see my headspace body (that I can't control yet unfortunately due to being front-stuck) and then also they can communicate via our conscious thoughts and observe what's happening externally. Then in what should be called the headspace we have just an expanse of blank space similar to the headspace that they called the void and then connected to it the innerworld/inworld which has a set amount of space in it light/weather/climate and then alters can communicate verbally and interact as if in the external world there but of course it's not really like the external world but it mirrors it sort of like a dream but coherent and each alter is in full control of themselves. I have known a few systems that experience similar but can anyone here relate to that?
Is it possible that there is allways the same alter fronting and all other alters are only co-con or less conscious? Like as if the other alters never show themselfs out. Or merely only in certain emorional situations? But then the most frontend is still there?
this... helps me so much. we had a very basic understanding of these concepts, but seeing it all together. and put in such an outrageously simple metaphor (i don't think that's the right word but roll with me here) makes ALOT of things suddenly make sense. all of us have been experiencing alot of anxiety about who's fronting, who's incluencing actions, who remembers what, and we're still fairly new to acknowledging each other and making a concious effort to coexist peacefully. it's so painful and othering, to drift around not knowing what's going on inside your own head. thank you so much for making the videos that you do. i know it's an old video, but this is a rare treasure to have and educate ourselves with.
Correct me if I’m wrong. But how I see it is: Think of a house with different rooms. Some rooms are closer than others. And then let’s say going outside of the house is fronting. And going to the basement is going dormant
Thank you so much for making this. A new alter has surfaced recently in our system, and she is extremely confused about what's going on in the headspace etc. We hope this'll help her understand better (still dunno that great how to get her to get used to the fact that our body is male and older than her, and our only other female alter before her has been dormant for a while) Keep well, and continue to make these amazing videos. They're really helping us and others better understand our condition ~Oliver & Jacques, the Patchwork Poets (system)
Oh no I know what that's like. :( When my friend and the only other female alter (at the time) in the system went dormant, I became really emotional and started lashing out and blaming people in the system for how uncomfortable I felt. I still don't really like thinking about it, I'm just glad she came back because we kind of support each other... being in a system's not easy, that's for sure. I wish I had some helpful advice to give but just try to be supportive and understanding, she'll need that the most. - Holly
This was very helpful! There are only two of us and we're co-con a lot so it can be difficult to tell who's at the front. This diagram helped me realize that I (The EP) spend a lot of my time in those weird in-between overlapping bits. I was quite literally trapped in that overlap between the headspace and observing and couldn't front at all except in really extreme situations, for a very long time. I've had trouble explaining that state so this visual was helpful to better understand that.
Thank you Silver, that was a brilliant model and explanation! We’ve described it in the past like a target board, so the closer to the bullseye an alter is, the more awareness they have and the better their memory will be. - Jay
This is very helpful, as it feels like the alters I know of, feel like they are always close, whether they are co-con or observing. I don’t think there are any dormant. I think one is in the headspace all the time, but I only know of 4 others besides me. I think they always want to know what’s happening in my life, which is sometimes annoying, but I’ve gotten used to them jumping to co-con when it comes to getting dressed or small decisions about my appearance since the ones who are close are mostly male and I am female.
i was just talking about this the other day about depersonalization being on a spectrum, what I meant is what you meant, where I was once fronting but then I can feel myself floating to the back of the headspace as I watch another alter front - and I feel very depersonalized from myself - maybe I am misusing the word - but I wrote a really really really long explanation of what I meant in the comments of that video, and basically, what I'm trying to say is... as I try to learn more about me and my system, validation is so important because without it - we can further deny our alters their existence and experiences so thank you silver for validating mine.
Thank you for explaining what I experience but could never really put into words! I have over 20 alters and this constant shifting of levels is why I feel so much internal chaos!
Great explanation! I have definitely experienced a lot of blur between these lines. this video has been really validating to my OSDD-1B experience. I still struggle with doubt, but this made my experience seem normal. So many of my experiences involve multiple alters switching between lines of awareness. Thank you!!
This is the absolute best explanation of what it's like living with my system! The moving back and forth they have in their level of awareness and influence on what's going on in the moment. This WILL help people understand what is going on in their own life.
we named ourselves in a way so that we could just combine our names when more than one of us are present, so when we need to communicate, whoever is fronting can communicate for multiple of us :3 -allie may-ryn
Yes. It's quite complicated. I've found ways to make most of us, at least co-conscious. We all love music, so I DJ at a radio station and we all participate in selecting music to play. When I was younger I used to go to clubs and dance. While dancing, different alters would be assigned different parts of the body to move. It was very clumsy at first and (I'm told) looked a little weird, but it taught us to work together better.
do alters still exist independently when they’re not fronting (or just near the front)? it kinda just feels like they disappear when they’re not at the front, and when they are, it kinda feels like they just suddenly started existing again i don’t think we really have an inner world? like there’s the headspace where we interact, but that’s side by side with having thoughts while i experience things. we interact through this cool-toned-coloured space with our thoughts, there isn’t much more of a visualization other than that. no one has physical bodies or anything. and passed that, it’s almost like just darkness that you can’t see through. that’s where alters go when they’re not fronting, observing or co-con i can’t tell if passed that darkness there’s just nothing and they’re basically just sleeping until they’re back, or if i haven’t unlocked that part of my brain?? i’m so confused i hope anyone sees this
At first my inner world was like a living room with one couch a TV and two doors with two rooms, it was purple and it was like a kids show to be honest, after sometimes it started to have more color and more rooms and is a place I go when I'm in school and bored most of the times 😂 is like an space made by my mind I go or even in my dreams
I absolutely love how much work you put into these videos and how passionate silver seems about helping educate systems, these videos help our system immensely, thank you!
That was really useful to explain the different levels of awareness. We are only a new system, but we have a weird dynamic where the brain only seems to remember the perspective of whoever is in front. As in, if someone is observing and then moves to front, we are not able to remember what it's like from the observing perspective, let alone from headspace. Speaking of headspace, we don't seem to have one yet. Our previous host thought that maybe we had the beginnings of headspace with our protector but I'm not so sure. As far as I can tell from being here for 4 months, we have fronting, co-fronting and dormant. That's it. Actually I wanted to also clarify, we use the term 'frontspace' as a catchall for what you call 'co-con' and 'observing.' I watched your video with the Alexandrite system on collaboration yesterday and you talked about how different systems may have different names for the same thing. This is a pretty basic example of that in practice. For us,"Frontspace" = co-con + observing
Is it "normal" to miss the feeling of being further in the back...not in front? I feel like I've been in front for years, it's like I miss that break I used to get. I'm not diagnosed. I feel selfish for wanting to step back. Like I'm just wanting to "check out" of my responsibilities. Just curious about your thought on this. Thank you so much for this content!
I really appreciate your videos 💖 I've struggled to explain this to my family and my therapist because it's so complicated and they have no other frame of reference to pull from to fully grasp it. You've explained it so well and this video is so helpful. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
this was an interesting watch! we usually refer to the spectrum of fronting - cocon - observing as "weights" of coconciousness (e.g. "very light [alter]" "light [alter]"), but this is a much clearer explanation of what we've been experiencing! often we have alters who are either just below or above that observing line - except their presence is obvious because observing alters in our system usually get control over the song stuck in our head. thanks for the new terminology :D
For us, being polyfragmented and also having many people and groups been dormant or only inside/far away for up to 5 decades, we more or less proceed with caution both because of the potential shock of the time lost as well as many of them being trauma holders, not just from childhood, but from adult life. Don’t know if this makes sense. Thanks so much 👏🏻🥰
Could you explain a little more your proceeding with caution strategy? Could it be possible to both proceed in caution and connect deeply with external people? I feel we have spent most part of our life in caution, and mostly emotionally detatched from others.
Thank you for this! This makes a lot of sense for us, it sheds some light on this whole thing. 😰 it can be quite draining when I’m, the Longterm Host, is in front and there’s overlaps of some of the peeps in my system co-coning/fronting to then suddenly observing. Internal communication can be tough for me, but somehow easy for the others? Not sure. But I really appreciate this video!! Thank you for elaborating and teaching me something new and answered some of my confusion. - Jeremy, Stardust Comets System.
Thank you so much for this- we just recently discovered being a system- I’m the host and it’s all very confusing for me- I can only sometimes tell if somebody is near the front but never who exactly, sometimes I feel their emotions and we communicate but I wasn’t aware of it for a long time- I’m kinda going through your videos today trying to understand more what could be happening internally and to manage to live with it until it’s safe to get therapy
thanx for that. that was great. i can confirm that one person fronting while virtually everyone else is shut out can happen. as a protector who's been stuck in front almost completely alone for the last long long time, i was only able to start communicating with the core and others and inner world a few years after starting hormones. Before then, dissociation was so bad that there wasn't a strong enough connection between the body and anyone else. now that they can front, others have only done so a couple times tho, because the body perception network is too drastically different from any alter, that it causes further damage to any psyche fronting. Even though I broke in a couple times, I'm not even allowed in the inner world and the others are not allowed to tell me their names, as if I were contaminated by the outer world and the psychological damage it caused us and our body.
Thank you so much for these videos! They have helped validated me so much and learn my experiences are common and I’m not alone/ making it all up For anyone else who needs validation in the beginning stages of learning being a multiple I just started documenting and uploading my experience with accepting being a system and meeting my other headmates
I didn't know about "observing," but it makes sense it would be different from co-con. :P When you think about all this as a matter of distance, it all starts to add up. I bet a lot of our alters were observing these past few months when they were giving a fronting alter space to process things. - Holly
You did a wonderful job articulating this process and your experience with it. I'm a very visual person, so once you brought out the board with the visual piece components, I was like, "Yes! This is gonna be easy to learn now. 😁👍🏼" And I was right lol. Thanks, Silver! You're a natural teacher.
I'm undiagnosed at the moment, but a couple mental health professionals are validating that I could be part of a system. We suspect it's DID but it's possible it could be OSDD-1b. Because we have some complete blackouts, bust most of the amnesia (at least, between me (host), and the common fronters are only partial amnesia). You described "observing" so well! I wish I knew this word before. A lot of my alters (at least, the common fronters mentioned above) tend to be in "observing" mode a lot of the time. I used to confuse observing with co-consciousness and one of the alters unintentionally hurt me by telling my (now former) friend I was 'co-conscious' when in reality I was just 'observing' and internally somewhat freaking out.
Hi, I'm Skylar, I'm a part of a system but none of us have agreed on a name yet ^.^' I love your videos, they're very informative and have been really helpful in our system's progress for better communication. I do have a few questions if you don't mind. I've recently quit my job relating to my physical health, but mostly, my mental health. I was wondering if you might have some advice for someone like me struggling to work and function daily with the conflicts and changing emotional states of alters and the lack of communication between them. Also is it normal to feel confused sometimes on who's who in a system? As a co-host of the system I've been a bit troubled and puzzled lately by who some of the alters are, from ones that have been there for a while that I just can't seem to communicate with yet to new ones that have just recently been found or who just started fronting.
Hi! I'd honestly recommend therapy, because managing that is often a really personal experience. A good starting point would be to actively work on increasing internal/external communication! And yes, that's normal. We're aware of 2-3 alters who we haven't been able to communicate with yet and don't know their names. :)
I'm really relieved to hear that it's totally normal to not know exactly where everyone is at the moment. I've just realized that I'm plural about 3 months ago and your channel helps me a lot to learn more about it - and it also makes me feel less alone with these circumstances. I actually don't experience switches (yet) which seems like an important criterion for DID or OSDD. But there are still other things you explain in your videos that I can relate to. You really help me to understand everything better. Thank you so much for your effort💖!
This helps us understand our own system so much better. We will come back to this video and it actually will help us for updated goals in therapy. Thank you!
Z: thanks so much for this video, Silver and Rings! It had us getting little flashes and insights of who was where in a way that we hadn't reflected on in a while, and those who front less appreciated a reflection of their experience that was more nuanced than "in the back" - and the "sometimes it's as confusing as we think this video will be" made us lol - quite clear though! will send it to a few singlets who need to see it.
My goodness, when you started with the shifting of the alters, I was like....f**k...no wonder life is confusing 😅...thank you so much, this is the best explanation I’ve heard so far 💕
this makes sense for my system also because as I watch my video journals, I can see which ones are fronting or co-con and they blend/switch so often and frequent, I thought I must be extra "switch" or something but from the way you describe it, it must be common.
that made lots of sense, if not a constant headache it surely has exhausting effects like deeper sleep or increased appetite 0-0 it's so much brain activity
I'm an alter of our system we're currently trying to put a name to ourselves. The show men is the biggest idea currently. A pretty decent idea but it could be a bit more inclusive. I'm normally in co-con or observing my partner is normally observing or in headspace. He's amazing an angel I couldn't praise more, he's like a peace keeper. There's quite a few of us I guess but we have our main five. That'd be me, the kid(our host), Gent(Gentlemen), and my partner. We're a bunch of bits and pieces but yk maybe some things are ment to be broken like the rules. Cats are one of the few things keeping my smooth monkey brain together. I'm happy, or more so alright, with answering any questions. If I'm being honest I switched out in the middle of this and it was a little bit anxiety inducing. I don't really care to understand what my head is doing as long as it's doing fine. I think we're decently functional. I wish others luck ig
Hey, just a question that’s pretty unrelated; why might someone have more alters than other systems? For example, I’ve had an increase in alters over the past years, and we’re currently at about 18 alters. When the body was in 5th and 6th grade (from what I remember), there were about 9 (most of which are now dormant or integrated. However, from what I remember, there’s been a decrease in trauma over this time. That’s one of the things that just makes me feel like I’m faking this all.
I'm going to answer the question I see about system growth even through a decrease of trauma: many times, after leaving a traumatic situation, more alters will surface/become known. Finding more alters doesn't always mean splitting - it could just be discovery/acknowledgement of those alter's existence. We're going through an extended period of this now, and have discovered a few new alters even though we are no longer in an abusive situation :)
that was an awesome explanation and really helpful! I'm thinking of making a 2d animation for that, showing how the picture is constantly changing overtime, can i contact you to proof check when it's finished? Edit: your channel is a lot of help for us, thank you for your great work!
Thank you! And yes!! Of course that would be amazing!!! You can reach out to us on any of our social medias (links to all of them are in the description of every video!)
as a newer professionally recognised system.. does communication and inner world development increase over time? I am always flicking back and forth between feeling like I’m faking this whole thing since I can go through many full days not experiencing alter switches (that I’m aware of) I’m trying to stop invalidating myself but it’s hard when sometimes there’s nothing in my head. I feel like more of my days are spent with absolute emptiness than with chatter. I find that my alters don’t actively speak “words” to me more than they push me with feelings or urges. Although I know I experience things being said in the middle of a sentence that isn’t me..
Most of us are always observing, or co-con. It's really confusing, but at least all of us kind of remember everything, haha. It would be a mess if we didn't all know everything (exams n stuff. We're still in school lol). Anyway, thanks so much for this video! It really helped understand what's going on inside our little mind, haha
As a new system with osdd, I have never been to the inner world, I just recently been in the headspace where my personalities hang out in co con and observing. I know we have one bc I get flashes of images of what it might look like but I've never learned how to travel farther away from the front. My question is, how long did it take u or ur other alters to figure out how traveling closer and farther away from the front. I dont know if it's a good thing if I finally get to see the inner world at some point bc one personality in particular is trying very hard for me not to but I'm just so curious. Also did u not have to learn to get to the inner world and it just happens naturally? Very curious about all this
I think it took a good few months in therapy, and it’s always an ongoing process to make it better and easier for us. But! If you’re getting blocked by another alter I’d suggest respecting those wishes or talking about it with them! There’s a new area of the headspace I’m not allowed into, and I’m not planning on trying to see it against my system’s wishes, because I don’t know what or who is there that either I’m not ready to see, or isn’t ready to see me. Best of luck and I hope it all works out for y’all!
Could an alter be not speaking but still affecting the emotional state of which ever alter is fronting? Where would that be on the spectrum? Would it be in between observing and co conscious?
My husband says he doesn’t hear voices and that sounds scary to him. but his alter told me he communicates through feelings to other. What does this mean? A lot of times in the day they are going back and forth one remembering things and one not or has an idea of what happened. one of them remembers things that happen or we talked about a couple weeks ago , but he seemed present during the times or co conscious since then. We are just learning these things about 6 months. And both alters believed they were the only one in the body. We only know of 2 that are mostly present and heard of one through a dream like remembering what he did and mentioning his name to someone else, but I never met him and the alter with the strongest personality says that , that specific alter won’t be coming back. I wish I could understand the communication thing
i feel a lot less unsettled having things explained in an easy to understand way, when it seems like i should be more unsetlled, if that makes sense? i think i'm confronting some internalized ableism with that thought
Hi, I’ve been wondering if there is such a thing as systems whom talk to each other in real life? Sorry for the bad explanation 😅 I mean like a one on one conversation in the flesh, presumably with the fronting alter changing constantly?
Hi! Yeah, sometimes systems will talk to each other outloud - but it’s usually one alter fronting the whole time, and if you listened in, it would sound like they’re on the phone (one sided conversation). Constantly switching back and forth to have a conversation sounds exhausting!! I haven’t met anyone who does that, but if you have, it certainly is possible - but I wouldn’t say common :)
@@britishguy2687 we often talk to each other out loud when we're co-con, im sure to an outsider it would sound like im talking to myself and answering myself and sometimes arguing with myself lol sometimes we use our own language so that external people cant understand / wont realize we're having an actual conversation with ourself lol Edit - we do also have times where only one persons side of the conversation is said outloud.
I've noticed us doing this. And yes, it is exhausting! Sometimes we also have situations like Rings System described, like a phone call, but even then a few words might come with another's voice & manner. I think at least partially this might have to do with us just coming to terms with being a system.. And maybe (hopefully) it lessens in time. Sometimes draining like a fist fight but with words..
We learned a lot from “First Person Plural” by Cameron West and “The Myth of Sanity” by Martha Stout. There are some triggering details in both of those selections, but the content is quite enlightening.
Nice video, but there's one thing I'm not entirely clear on. I thought that being an OSDD1 system means that you don't experience amnesia, so why is all of this relevant?
Yes!! That's because where we are in proximity to the front determines how much we relate to the memories, and how much "processing time" it takes to read them. Secondly, it also changes internal communication - honestly, internal communication and passive influence are the major reason we made this - those closer to the front have and easier time communicating with who's fronting, and exert more passive influence. Generally, alters on similar "levels of awareness" can communicate amongst themselves easier :)
so what happens if you haven't got a headspace, do you just skip that line? can an alter be dormant for just a few hours or does it have to be a longer period of time? :)
We used to not have one! We'd just vanish into the void. It's different than being dormant still, somehow, because coming back from being dormant is disorienting. It's hard to describe the difference but we felt it
I think I understand what you mean I personally most of the time have my co-con but those most of them don’t say anything but when they do and they’re all upfront like that and I am in front completely it is very very painful and sometimes it’s kind a hard to were to know where all of them are because they could be in one place or another I could be thinking one thing or another and a lot of times that gets me very disoriented and very confused and definitely a headache mostly there are two that stay cold conscious and pretty much up near the front or I can feel what they’re feeling and know what they’re thinking and they were two that are like that one is Morcom the other one well her name is rogue and she is a homeless teen preteen actually she’s 10 years old she trust nobody she ran away from home and she’s very leery of people in general Lesa she’s the one that offered rogue a place to stay meals to eat and and Lisa takes care of the three-year-old she barely is near the front mostly she’s in the headspace at the house and the others they’re pretty quiet right now and I don’t know why they’re so quiet it’s scary i’m currently at this time of writing this I am in a very stressful situation where I am forced to be in a hotel and my stomach is in knots my head hurts and my anxiety is through the roof and my altars are all at this time saying what the hell is going on and they’re confused they’re scared and they don’t know what’s happening as well as my hands have been trembling and shaking and I just don’t feel like myself and nor do my alters right now so the inner world and here in the outside world are completely turned upside down because we had a power outage due to a storm damage still waiting to get all that taken care of
This is a great explanation, thankyou! I have a question if you wouldn’t mind answering.. I’m so new to all this, DID, i thought that alters come out when triggered right,but everyone seems to pop in and out and i dont see anything MAJOR going on.. is there a point when you become aware of your system as a host, that because you’re aware, alters just come and go as they please? So confused and feeling such a loss of control and confused how someone can come out just to eat a meal they wanted and then BAM I’m back and have NO memory of it but left to clean the kitchen???
Alters can switch even when there's nothing major or triggering going on! Sometimes they just want to pop out to enjoy a meal, go on a walk, or play a video game. :) Maybe talking to them and leaving some notes could be helpful? Like a "Hey, if you're going to eat dinner, please clean up the kitchen after yourself so I don't have to." Talking to each other can help make things easier between switches ❤️
The Rings System Thankyou! i will try that. now that i know they can pop in and out at any time, i can be more aware to try understand. Thank you, and thank you for doing all your videos its so helpful to a newbie like me. It’s a really daunting experience x
Am I the only one who will like hear the other alters thoughts in the middle of talking and get super confused and not be able to talk right? Or I'll just be genuinely confused on who's where and who's doing what? As a host, and the core, who's usually co-con or front with any other alter who's fronting, and as someone with OSDD-1b it gets extremely confusing because I can't tell who's doing what lol, it kills my brain cells
You all constantly surprise us by being able to explain some really difficult aspects of this disorder. You’re awesome.
Thank you :)
I completely agree!
ya’ll constantly raising the bar. the way you can explain shit, and the things you choose to explain, this is honestly the best educational DID n OSDD channel on here.
Thank you!! Stuff like this is what keeps us motivated :)
I've been slowly piecing all this together through watching various system channels, but this is the most clear, concise explanation I've seen. Thank you :)
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this is such a well explained video. although very positive members of this community, other DID/OSDD youtubers dont seem to make the details of these disorders as clear as you do. thank you!
Wow I think this is what I've always called feeling forward! There are rare rare times when I feel incredibly present, incredibly real, experiencing everything in 3D space, I feel like I'm fully inhabiting my body, everything is so vivid and with so much more depth, it feels like my eyes are placed more forwards in my head, that's why I call it feeling forward. Most of the time I feel kinda disconnected from my body, those times only happen if like I'm commuting or I'm outside on a sunny day and the light and shadows are playing a certain way, or this one time at a concert. There was one time with my boyfriend, we were about to get intimate and he had touched my hips in a certain way and I felt so distant, like in get out how they show that headspace. My body felt so alien and wrong, nothing felt right. There are some times when I feel taller, or things around me feel larger, or I feel shorter or younger or extremely masculine or sometimes quite feminine or mostly just totally agender. I look back on pictures I've taken when I was hanging out with friends and it just feels like someone else, it doesn't feel like I was there and did those things and experienced that. This person has been my best friend for years, yet if I'm not around her I almost always feel completely emotionally unattached from her. I went to a therapist for a while who specialized in DID among other things, I was seeing her for a separate issue but she thought I might have a dissociative disorder, we went through most of this super long questionnaire thing but never finished it, she felt it wasn't worth it and i couldn't relate to most of it. eventually we were running out of things to talk about, she said I seemed fine and I was like yeah things are fine, the thing I had originally gone to see her for was solved. She said that I had dissociative tendencies, and she left me with a model describing ANPs and EPs, explained coconsciousness and used a car model, so you're usually fronting in the driver's seat but sometimes an alter can come to the passengers seat, she explained the whole structural dissociation for me and encouraged me to try to find ties between my traumatic memories, triggers, but she never said this was did or osdd or anything, she was explaining structural dissociation, and I remember the last thing she said was that if I ever wanted to look more into where this dissociation comes from to not hesitate and come and see her, I thought that was strange because from my impression she had concluded that the dissociation wasn't anything really, she said I had dissociative tendencies. I remember there were always so many things I wanted to talk to her about but then I'd get to the therapy session and forget everything. Sometimes I'll be walking past the kids aisle, and I feel like a little kid again. Just recently I was with my boyfriend watching TV and i was thinking about something from my past, I'd had this memory for a long time I know because I remember remembering it and thinking over it when I was a kid but I just forgot. My heart started racing and I couldn't calm myself down, I told my boyfriend and he helped me to calm down but nothing like that has ever happened before, I think in the memory there is potential for something traumatic to have happened and it was when I was really young, but it's piecemeal and I can only remember the beginning and end. I'm so scared. I don't want to convince myself that something happened to me when it didn't but im so so scared. There was one time I was eating dinner with my family and my step dad said that he went out one night and seen me dancing in my room, just like automatically I was like "no you didn't, whatever you think you saw you were wrong" or something, it just flew out of my mouth and I couldn't believe and was so embarrassed about how immediately harsh I was I was completely reactionary, the words just came out of my mouth and then it was gone. I used to dance all the time, I still love to dance but I can only ever ever dance alone, tho I remember that my siblings and I used to have dance parties and I can't remember why I stopped. I remember my dad told me when I was young that my uncle Kevin, well not really my blood uncle, asked if I had gone to a strip club or something because apparently I danced like a prostitute. Thinking back on my life, it's so hard to believe that any of it really happened to me, that I was the one who experienced and lived it. I'm constantly forgetting where I've put things or what I'm doing. Sometimes the world looks just like life size toy models, or it feels like I'm dreaming. I want to go back to that therapist, part of me always really hated going there tho, and it's taking me so so long to try to set up an appointment again, now delayed even further because of covid.
Yes! We highly recommend going and talking to that therapist again. What we've done to help is write things down ahead of time, and show our therapist them so they don't instantly leave our head when we get into therapy (or another alter yanks the thoughts away!) This paragraph here would actually be a lovely thing to show her - and I hope you get an appointment soon ❤️
Oh that's really interesting to hear about since our system is a bit different! Since the spaces in the brain are a lot more strictly defined, my alters describe it as being like physical (but sort of metaphorical as well since it's in the mind obviously) space that you walk between.
Our system has really strong communication due to there being a solid in world for them to interact with (we're still working on communication between the host and the others within the co-con I guess you'd call it because I'm front stuck and not used to any of this) but since all my alters have only known it was a system and had the vocabulary for about half a year now (They came up with some pretty wild theories trying to explain what was outside of the in-world before then but that's a different story) the terms we use are a little mixed up
But essentially the headspace is what we call the co-con because my alters have it manifested as a room they can go into and see my headspace body (that I can't control yet unfortunately due to being front-stuck) and then also they can communicate via our conscious thoughts and observe what's happening externally. Then in what should be called the headspace we have just an expanse of blank space similar to the headspace that they called the void and then connected to it the innerworld/inworld which has a set amount of space in it light/weather/climate and then alters can communicate verbally and interact as if in the external world there but of course it's not really like the external world but it mirrors it sort of like a dream but coherent and each alter is in full control of themselves.
I have known a few systems that experience similar but can anyone here relate to that?
Is it possible that there is allways the same alter fronting and all other alters are only co-con or less conscious? Like as if the other alters never show themselfs out. Or merely only in certain emorional situations? But then the most frontend is still there?
Yes! This is covered under the diagnosis of OSDD-1a! :)
this... helps me so much. we had a very basic understanding of these concepts, but seeing it all together. and put in such an outrageously simple metaphor (i don't think that's the right word but roll with me here) makes ALOT of things suddenly make sense. all of us have been experiencing alot of anxiety about who's fronting, who's incluencing actions, who remembers what, and we're still fairly new to acknowledging each other and making a concious effort to coexist peacefully. it's so painful and othering, to drift around not knowing what's going on inside your own head. thank you so much for making the videos that you do. i know it's an old video, but this is a rare treasure to have and educate ourselves with.
Correct me if I’m wrong.
But how I see it is:
Think of a house with different rooms. Some rooms are closer than others. And then let’s say going outside of the house is fronting. And going to the basement is going dormant
Thank you so much for making this. A new alter has surfaced recently in our system, and she is extremely confused about what's going on in the headspace etc. We hope this'll help her understand better (still dunno that great how to get her to get used to the fact that our body is male and older than her, and our only other female alter before her has been dormant for a while)
Keep well, and continue to make these amazing videos. They're really helping us and others better understand our condition ~Oliver & Jacques, the Patchwork Poets (system)
❤️
Oh no I know what that's like. :( When my friend and the only other female alter (at the time) in the system went dormant, I became really emotional and started lashing out and blaming people in the system for how uncomfortable I felt. I still don't really like thinking about it, I'm just glad she came back because we kind of support each other... being in a system's not easy, that's for sure. I wish I had some helpful advice to give but just try to be supportive and understanding, she'll need that the most. - Holly
I love your system name so much!!!!
I love your system's name. 🥰📝
Thank you so much. Again!
This was very helpful! There are only two of us and we're co-con a lot so it can be difficult to tell who's at the front. This diagram helped me realize that I (The EP) spend a lot of my time in those weird in-between overlapping bits. I was quite literally trapped in that overlap between the headspace and observing and couldn't front at all except in really extreme situations, for a very long time. I've had trouble explaining that state so this visual was helpful to better understand that.
Glad we could be helpful! 💕
Your always so extremely clear. I think you have a better understanding then most therapist of DID
Thank you! We've spent a long time researching and exploring our selfhood.
Thank you Silver, that was a brilliant model and explanation! We’ve described it in the past like a target board, so the closer to the bullseye an alter is, the more awareness they have and the better their memory will be. - Jay
This is very helpful, as it feels like the alters I know of, feel like they are always close, whether they are co-con or observing. I don’t think there are any dormant. I think one is in the headspace all the time, but I only know of 4 others besides me. I think they always want to know what’s happening in my life, which is sometimes annoying, but I’ve gotten used to them jumping to co-con when it comes to getting dressed or small decisions about my appearance since the ones who are close are mostly male and I am female.
Learning about the system make my head hurt and I just want to fall asleep. But everything makes sense now. Thank you!
i was just talking about this the other day about depersonalization being on a spectrum, what I meant is what you meant, where I was once fronting but then I can feel myself floating to the back of the headspace as I watch another alter front - and I feel very depersonalized from myself - maybe I am misusing the word - but I wrote a really really really long explanation of what I meant in the comments of that video, and basically, what I'm trying to say is... as I try to learn more about me and my system, validation is so important because without it - we can further deny our alters their existence and experiences so thank you silver for validating mine.
Thank you for explaining what I experience but could never really put into words! I have over 20 alters and this constant shifting of levels is why I feel so much internal chaos!
This makes me feel so much better about blending!
Great explanation! I have definitely experienced a lot of blur between these lines. this video has been really validating to my OSDD-1B experience. I still struggle with doubt, but this made my experience seem normal. So many of my experiences involve multiple alters switching between lines of awareness. Thank you!!
Thank you! I'm glad this helped ❤️
This is the absolute best explanation of what it's like living with my system! The moving back and forth they have in their level of awareness and influence on what's going on in the moment. This WILL help people understand what is going on in their own life.
Thank you for this video! I'm going to share it with our boyfriend and possibly also our psychologist if we're brave enough.
Update - we showed it to our psychologist and she said it was helpful!
I'm glad!!!
we named ourselves in a way so that we could just combine our names when more than one of us are present, so when we need to communicate, whoever is fronting can communicate for multiple of us :3
-allie may-ryn
Yes. It's quite complicated. I've found ways to make most of us, at least co-conscious. We all love music, so I DJ at a radio station and we all participate in selecting music to play. When I was younger I used to go to clubs and dance. While dancing, different alters would be assigned different parts of the body to move. It was very clumsy at first and (I'm told) looked a little weird, but it taught us to work together better.
You explained this in a really clear way!! Helped me understand my alters more and accept that I'm not always gonna know where they are! :)
do alters still exist independently when they’re not fronting (or just near the front)? it kinda just feels like they disappear when they’re not at the front, and when they are, it kinda feels like they just suddenly started existing again
i don’t think we really have an inner world? like there’s the headspace where we interact, but that’s side by side with having thoughts while i experience things. we interact through this cool-toned-coloured space with our thoughts, there isn’t much more of a visualization other than that. no one has physical bodies or anything. and passed that, it’s almost like just darkness that you can’t see through. that’s where alters go when they’re not fronting, observing or co-con
i can’t tell if passed that darkness there’s just nothing and they’re basically just sleeping until they’re back, or if i haven’t unlocked that part of my brain?? i’m so confused i hope anyone sees this
i hope someone sees this too, i relate to a lot of your experience and im still trying to figure out if i have DID/OSDD
blown away, this is extremely accurate to lived experiences right to a T, incredible to see such educated and well researched plural content out here
We are still new to our system, We enjoy watching your videos, Thank you for uploading - Lacey
The rings system, the best asmr channel there is.
Scream 😂😂
Literally came from an ASMR video to this, hah
At first my inner world was like a living room with one couch a TV and two doors with two rooms, it was purple and it was like a kids show to be honest, after sometimes it started to have more color and more rooms and is a place I go when I'm in school and bored most of the times 😂 is like an space made by my mind I go or even in my dreams
I absolutely love how much work you put into these videos and how passionate silver seems about helping educate systems, these videos help our system immensely, thank you!
Thank you so much!! I'm so glad they're helpful ❤️
That was really useful to explain the different levels of awareness.
We are only a new system, but we have a weird dynamic where the brain only seems to remember the perspective of whoever is in front. As in, if someone is observing and then moves to front, we are not able to remember what it's like from the observing perspective, let alone from headspace. Speaking of headspace, we don't seem to have one yet. Our previous host thought that maybe we had the beginnings of headspace with our protector but I'm not so sure. As far as I can tell from being here for 4 months, we have fronting, co-fronting and dormant. That's it.
Actually I wanted to also clarify, we use the term 'frontspace' as a catchall for what you call 'co-con' and 'observing.' I watched your video with the Alexandrite system on collaboration yesterday and you talked about how different systems may have different names for the same thing. This is a pretty basic example of that in practice. For us,"Frontspace" = co-con + observing
I know this is from years ago but i just wanted to say how helpful this video has been
Is it "normal" to miss the feeling of being further in the back...not in front? I feel like I've been in front for years, it's like I miss that break I used to get. I'm not diagnosed. I feel selfish for wanting to step back. Like I'm just wanting to "check out" of my responsibilities. Just curious about your thought on this. Thank you so much for this content!
I really appreciate your videos 💖 I've struggled to explain this to my family and my therapist because it's so complicated and they have no other frame of reference to pull from to fully grasp it. You've explained it so well and this video is so helpful. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️ Thank you, we’re so glad we could help :)
this was an interesting watch! we usually refer to the spectrum of fronting - cocon - observing as "weights" of coconciousness (e.g. "very light [alter]" "light [alter]"), but this is a much clearer explanation of what we've been experiencing! often we have alters who are either just below or above that observing line - except their presence is obvious because observing alters in our system usually get control over the song stuck in our head. thanks for the new terminology :D
For us, being polyfragmented and also having many people and groups been dormant or only inside/far away for up to 5 decades, we more or less proceed with caution both because of the potential shock of the time lost as well as many of them being trauma holders, not just from childhood, but from adult life. Don’t know if this makes sense. Thanks so much 👏🏻🥰
Could you explain a little more your proceeding with caution strategy? Could it be possible to both proceed in caution and connect deeply with external people? I feel we have spent most part of our life in caution, and mostly emotionally detatched from others.
One of the best explanations and videos ever!👏🏻💜
Thank you!!!
This is so real! I at least relate to this heavily?!
I am glad you explained this so well. Its super helpful!
Thank you for this! This makes a lot of sense for us, it sheds some light on this whole thing. 😰 it can be quite draining when I’m, the Longterm Host, is in front and there’s overlaps of some of the peeps in my system co-coning/fronting to then suddenly observing.
Internal communication can be tough for me, but somehow easy for the others? Not sure. But I really appreciate this video!! Thank you for elaborating and teaching me something new and answered some of my confusion.
- Jeremy, Stardust Comets System.
Thank you so much for this- we just recently discovered being a system- I’m the host and it’s all very confusing for me- I can only sometimes tell if somebody is near the front but never who exactly, sometimes I feel their emotions and we communicate but I wasn’t aware of it for a long time- I’m kinda going through your videos today trying to understand more what could be happening internally and to manage to live with it until it’s safe to get therapy
thanx for that. that was great. i can confirm that one person fronting while virtually everyone else is shut out can happen. as a protector who's been stuck in front almost completely alone for the last long long time, i was only able to start communicating with the core and others and inner world a few years after starting hormones. Before then, dissociation was so bad that there wasn't a strong enough connection between the body and anyone else. now that they can front, others have only done so a couple times tho, because the body perception network is too drastically different from any alter, that it causes further damage to any psyche fronting. Even though I broke in a couple times, I'm not even allowed in the inner world and the others are not allowed to tell me their names, as if I were contaminated by the outer world and the psychological damage it caused us and our body.
Thank you so much for these videos! They have helped validated me so much and learn my experiences are common and I’m not alone/ making it all up
For anyone else who needs validation in the beginning stages of learning being a multiple I just started documenting and uploading my experience with accepting being a system and meeting my other headmates
I didn't know about "observing," but it makes sense it would be different from co-con. :P When you think about all this as a matter of distance, it all starts to add up. I bet a lot of our alters were observing these past few months when they were giving a fronting alter space to process things. - Holly
You did a wonderful job articulating this process and your experience with it. I'm a very visual person, so once you brought out the board with the visual piece components, I was like, "Yes! This is gonna be easy to learn now. 😁👍🏼" And I was right lol. Thanks, Silver! You're a natural teacher.
All your vids had great content! Keep up the good work guys, you've made a great channel!
This is your best video I've seen by far. Sending it to my therapist right away. You guys are the best 💕
it is one of our favorites :)
Thank you have no idea how much this helps me.
I'm so glad it was helpful ❤️
Amazing video and super informative!!! Thank you ❤
I'm undiagnosed at the moment, but a couple mental health professionals are validating that I could be part of a system. We suspect it's DID but it's possible it could be OSDD-1b. Because we have some complete blackouts, bust most of the amnesia (at least, between me (host), and the common fronters are only partial amnesia).
You described "observing" so well! I wish I knew this word before. A lot of my alters (at least, the common fronters mentioned above) tend to be in "observing" mode a lot of the time. I used to confuse observing with co-consciousness and one of the alters unintentionally hurt me by telling my (now former) friend I was 'co-conscious' when in reality I was just 'observing' and internally somewhat freaking out.
Hi, I'm Skylar, I'm a part of a system but none of us have agreed on a name yet ^.^' I love your videos, they're very informative and have been really helpful in our system's progress for better communication. I do have a few questions if you don't mind. I've recently quit my job relating to my physical health, but mostly, my mental health. I was wondering if you might have some advice for someone like me struggling to work and function daily with the conflicts and changing emotional states of alters and the lack of communication between them. Also is it normal to feel confused sometimes on who's who in a system? As a co-host of the system I've been a bit troubled and puzzled lately by who some of the alters are, from ones that have been there for a while that I just can't seem to communicate with yet to new ones that have just recently been found or who just started fronting.
Hi!
I'd honestly recommend therapy, because managing that is often a really personal experience. A good starting point would be to actively work on increasing internal/external communication!
And yes, that's normal. We're aware of 2-3 alters who we haven't been able to communicate with yet and don't know their names. :)
I'm really relieved to hear that it's totally normal to not know exactly where everyone is at the moment. I've just realized that I'm plural about 3 months ago and your channel helps me a lot to learn more about it - and it also makes me feel less alone with these circumstances.
I actually don't experience switches (yet) which seems like an important criterion for DID or OSDD. But there are still other things you explain in your videos that I can relate to. You really help me to understand everything better.
Thank you so much for your effort💖!
It’s actually not! Some OSDD-1 systems don’t switch, and only have heavy passive influence/internal communication. I’m glad our videos are helpful!
your channel is very helpful!
i want to say thank you so much!
Thank you!! ❤️
This is priceless to me! I needed this clarity thank you
This helps us understand our own system so much better. We will come back to this video and it actually will help us for updated goals in therapy. Thank you!
Z: thanks so much for this video, Silver and Rings! It had us getting little flashes and insights of who was where in a way that we hadn't reflected on in a while, and those who front less appreciated a reflection of their experience that was more nuanced than "in the back" - and the "sometimes it's as confusing as we think this video will be" made us lol - quite clear though! will send it to a few singlets who need to see it.
Thank you! Glad it was helpful :)
My goodness, when you started with the shifting of the alters, I was like....f**k...no wonder life is confusing 😅...thank you so much, this is the best explanation I’ve heard so far 💕
Thank you!! I'm so glad it's helpful! 💕
Excellent video! Our T and us were discussing this just last week. You made it very clear and easy to understand.
this makes sense for my system also because as I watch my video journals, I can see which ones are fronting or co-con and they blend/switch so often and frequent, I thought I must be extra "switch" or something but from the way you describe it, it must be common.
that made lots of sense, if not a constant headache it surely has exhausting effects like deeper sleep or increased appetite 0-0 it's so much brain activity
this was really helpful/interesting, thank you 😊
SILVER! Love tis,thank you so so. so much! Mahalo
Oh cool i might try to make a chart like this to explain to my therapist who is where
Love your content, you always find a clear way to explain complicated subject.
Keep up the great work 💞
Lots of support from this singlet.
Thank you!! :)
I'm an alter of our system we're currently trying to put a name to ourselves. The show men is the biggest idea currently. A pretty decent idea but it could be a bit more inclusive. I'm normally in co-con or observing my partner is normally observing or in headspace. He's amazing an angel I couldn't praise more, he's like a peace keeper. There's quite a few of us I guess but we have our main five. That'd be me, the kid(our host), Gent(Gentlemen), and my partner. We're a bunch of bits and pieces but yk maybe some things are ment to be broken like the rules. Cats are one of the few things keeping my smooth monkey brain together. I'm happy, or more so alright, with answering any questions. If I'm being honest I switched out in the middle of this and it was a little bit anxiety inducing. I don't really care to understand what my head is doing as long as it's doing fine. I think we're decently functional. I wish others luck ig
Hey, just a question that’s pretty unrelated; why might someone have more alters than other systems? For example, I’ve had an increase in alters over the past years, and we’re currently at about 18 alters. When the body was in 5th and 6th grade (from what I remember), there were about 9 (most of which are now dormant or integrated. However, from what I remember, there’s been a decrease in trauma over this time. That’s one of the things that just makes me feel like I’m faking this all.
I'm going to answer the question I see about system growth even through a decrease of trauma: many times, after leaving a traumatic situation, more alters will surface/become known. Finding more alters doesn't always mean splitting - it could just be discovery/acknowledgement of those alter's existence. We're going through an extended period of this now, and have discovered a few new alters even though we are no longer in an abusive situation :)
The Rings System Thank you so much for your response, that’s very helpful. I love your videos by the way. Keep doing what you’re doing!
that was an awesome explanation and really helpful! I'm thinking of making a 2d animation for that, showing how the picture is constantly changing overtime, can i contact you to proof check when it's finished? Edit: your channel is a lot of help for us, thank you for your great work!
Thank you! And yes!! Of course that would be amazing!!! You can reach out to us on any of our social medias (links to all of them are in the description of every video!)
So well explained and demonstrated!!
as a newer professionally recognised system.. does communication and inner world development increase over time? I am always flicking back and forth between feeling like I’m faking this whole thing since I can go through many full days not experiencing alter switches (that I’m aware of)
I’m trying to stop invalidating myself but it’s hard when sometimes there’s nothing in my head. I feel like more of my days are spent with absolute emptiness than with chatter. I find that my alters don’t actively speak “words” to me more than they push me with feelings or urges. Although I know I experience things being said in the middle of a sentence that isn’t me..
You told all right! Exactly right!
Thank you 💜
Most of us are always observing, or co-con. It's really confusing, but at least all of us kind of remember everything, haha. It would be a mess if we didn't all know everything (exams n stuff. We're still in school lol). Anyway, thanks so much for this video! It really helped understand what's going on inside our little mind, haha
❤️
Oh my lords thank you.
it was great!!! thanks for clarifying !!!
I wonder how easy or difficult is to find a therapist who can actually help with this, since some can be pretty ignorante about identity disorders
From our experiences and all the stories we’ve heard? Very difficult :(
This is a great helpful video
As a new system with osdd, I have never been to the inner world, I just recently been in the headspace where my personalities hang out in co con and observing. I know we have one bc I get flashes of images of what it might look like but I've never learned how to travel farther away from the front. My question is, how long did it take u or ur other alters to figure out how traveling closer and farther away from the front. I dont know if it's a good thing if I finally get to see the inner world at some point bc one personality in particular is trying very hard for me not to but I'm just so curious. Also did u not have to learn to get to the inner world and it just happens naturally? Very curious about all this
I think it took a good few months in therapy, and it’s always an ongoing process to make it better and easier for us.
But! If you’re getting blocked by another alter I’d suggest respecting those wishes or talking about it with them! There’s a new area of the headspace I’m not allowed into, and I’m not planning on trying to see it against my system’s wishes, because I don’t know what or who is there that either I’m not ready to see, or isn’t ready to see me.
Best of luck and I hope it all works out for y’all!
Thank you so much. This helps!!
Sometimes we experience something inbetween headspace and fronting, with more agency and visibility of one or the other
Thank thank you so much!!!!! This was soooooo helpful. - Unknown Alter
Thank you! Glad we could help!! :)
Could an alter be not speaking but still affecting the emotional state of which ever alter is fronting? Where would that be on the spectrum? Would it be in between observing and co conscious?
My husband says he doesn’t hear voices and that sounds scary to him. but his alter told me he communicates through feelings to other. What does this mean? A lot of times in the day they are going back and forth one remembering things and one not or has an idea of what happened. one of them remembers things that happen or we talked about a couple weeks ago , but he seemed present during the times or co conscious since then. We are just learning these things about 6 months. And both alters believed they were the only one in the body. We only know of 2 that are mostly present and heard of one through a dream like remembering what he did and mentioning his name to someone else, but I never met him and the alter with the strongest personality says that , that specific alter won’t be coming back. I wish I could understand the communication thing
Hello! You should check out our videos on internal communication and passive influence - they'll be helpful ❤️
i feel a lot less unsettled having things explained in an easy to understand way, when it seems like i should be more unsetlled, if that makes sense? i think i'm confronting some internalized ableism with that thought
Hi, I’ve been wondering if there is such a thing as systems whom talk to each other in real life? Sorry for the bad explanation 😅 I mean like a one on one conversation in the flesh, presumably with the fronting alter changing constantly?
Hi!
Yeah, sometimes systems will talk to each other outloud - but it’s usually one alter fronting the whole time, and if you listened in, it would sound like they’re on the phone (one sided conversation). Constantly switching back and forth to have a conversation sounds exhausting!! I haven’t met anyone who does that, but if you have, it certainly is possible - but I wouldn’t say common :)
The Rings System thank you :)
@@britishguy2687 we often talk to each other out loud when we're co-con, im sure to an outsider it would sound like im talking to myself and answering myself and sometimes arguing with myself lol
sometimes we use our own language so that external people cant understand / wont realize we're having an actual conversation with ourself lol
Edit - we do also have times where only one persons side of the conversation is said outloud.
I've noticed us doing this. And yes, it is exhausting! Sometimes we also have situations like Rings System described, like a phone call, but even then a few words might come with another's voice & manner. I think at least partially this might have to do with us just coming to terms with being a system.. And maybe (hopefully) it lessens in time. Sometimes draining like a fist fight but with words..
Living it is definitely bloody well confusing
Exactly! 🤪 Brilliant! 🤗
That's how I live.
Thanks for the video I learn some new stuff 👍😝👍
I love this
I’m interested in reading more on DID. Would you say “I’m Eve” is a good reading material? And what other would you recommend if any?
Hmm, I don't think I've heard of 'I'm Eve" before, but one of my best reccomendations is the site did-research.org :)
We learned a lot from “First Person Plural” by Cameron West and “The Myth of Sanity” by Martha Stout.
There are some triggering details in both of those selections, but the content is quite enlightening.
We use a theatre. Whos on stage, in the audience, in the wings, backstage. House. Green room. Like that
Nice video, but there's one thing I'm not entirely clear on. I thought that being an OSDD1 system means that you don't experience amnesia, so why is all of this relevant?
Yes!! That's because where we are in proximity to the front determines how much we relate to the memories, and how much "processing time" it takes to read them. Secondly, it also changes internal communication - honestly, internal communication and passive influence are the major reason we made this - those closer to the front have and easier time communicating with who's fronting, and exert more passive influence. Generally, alters on similar "levels of awareness" can communicate amongst themselves easier :)
so what happens if you haven't got a headspace, do you just skip that line? can an alter be dormant for just a few hours or does it have to be a longer period of time? :)
We used to not have one! We'd just vanish into the void. It's different than being dormant still, somehow, because coming back from being dormant is disorienting. It's hard to describe the difference but we felt it
most of mine are dormant i believe
there’s always gotta be that one dislike🙄
I think I understand what you mean I personally most of the time have my co-con but those most of them don’t say anything but when they do and they’re all upfront like that and I am in front completely it is very very painful and sometimes it’s kind a hard to were to know where all of them are because they could be in one place or another I could be thinking one thing or another and a lot of times that gets me very disoriented and very confused and definitely a headache mostly there are two that stay cold conscious and pretty much up near the front or I can feel what they’re feeling and know what they’re thinking and they were two that are like that one is Morcom the other one well her name is rogue and she is a homeless teen preteen actually she’s 10 years old she trust nobody she ran away from home and she’s very leery of people in general Lesa she’s the one that offered rogue a place to stay meals to eat and and Lisa takes care of the three-year-old she barely is near the front mostly she’s in the headspace at the house and the others they’re pretty quiet right now and I don’t know why they’re so quiet it’s scary i’m currently at this time of writing this I am in a very stressful situation where I am forced to be in a hotel and my stomach is in knots my head hurts and my anxiety is through the roof and my altars are all at this time saying what the hell is going on and they’re confused they’re scared and they don’t know what’s happening as well as my hands have been trembling and shaking and I just don’t feel like myself and nor do my alters right now so the inner world and here in the outside world are completely turned upside down because we had a power outage due to a storm damage still waiting to get all that taken care of
This is a great explanation, thankyou! I have a question if you wouldn’t mind answering.. I’m so new to all this, DID, i thought that alters come out when triggered right,but everyone seems to pop in and out and i dont see anything MAJOR going on.. is there a point when you become aware of your system as a host, that because you’re aware, alters just come and go as they please? So confused and feeling such a loss of control and confused how someone can come out just to eat a meal they wanted and then BAM I’m back and have NO memory of it but left to clean the kitchen???
Alters can switch even when there's nothing major or triggering going on! Sometimes they just want to pop out to enjoy a meal, go on a walk, or play a video game. :)
Maybe talking to them and leaving some notes could be helpful? Like a "Hey, if you're going to eat dinner, please clean up the kitchen after yourself so I don't have to." Talking to each other can help make things easier between switches ❤️
The Rings System Thankyou! i will try that. now that i know they can pop in and out at any time, i can be more aware to try understand. Thank you, and thank you for doing all your videos its so helpful to a newbie like me. It’s a really daunting experience x
uwu you're wonderful
Am I the only one who will like hear the other alters thoughts in the middle of talking and get super confused and not be able to talk right? Or I'll just be genuinely confused on who's where and who's doing what? As a host, and the core, who's usually co-con or front with any other alter who's fronting, and as someone with OSDD-1b it gets extremely confusing because I can't tell who's doing what lol, it kills my brain cells
We don't experience that but some of our friends who are systems do! :)
What about when everyone are in the headspace though?
The body kinda goes on “autopilot” or everyone dissociates a lot
Btw do you guys have any experience with OSDD1a?
Thanks silver it help me to understand my gf a lot better.