Literally just had the beginnings of a really positive system change because of this video. The host is recognising the error in their ways in putting a certain alter in a box of "this is all you are" and I've essentially brokered a peace treaty between those two. Thanks so much for talking about this, guys, you're really good. Chris.
I related to Sandra so hard; I also didn’t want “another thing.” I just couldn’t believe there was actually something more there. I still struggle with thinking that this is just a fake thing I made in order to please this sick ‘I need to suffer’ mentality. When I told my father he told me I was just punishing myself for being happy. I lived with that until I realized that the only reason my alters showed themselves is BECAUSE I was happy; I was stable. I could handle it. (At least they thought I could. Sadly, I couldn’t. I split a bit ago to be basically a copy of who I was, to take over as the host. It’s complicated but that just goes to show that systems are there to help, and they adapt and form uniquely to the person in order to help in the best way.) Just ranting a bit at this point, but I just wanted to say I 100% felt the same way. “I’m already gay, trans, depressed, have ADHD, etc etc etc”. I felt that there was just no way to have ANOTHER problem.
I am newly diagnosed in my 50's. I think the hard part about being diagnosed in your teens is that the teens is when you're figuring out your identity and the way you present to the world. If several members of the system are all struggling for autonomy and to establish individual identities in the outer world, that can make it hard to function as a cooperative system. Some of you might be like siblings desperately wanting the others to get out of your room. I'm so impressed that each system worked through this and created functioning family relationships. I love that you guys teared up with love for your system members.
"I didn't want another _...thing;_ I'm already gay, and I'm already trans..." "I didn't want to continue to be 'weird,' I didn't want to be 'weird' in a new way." Ook. We can _totes_ relate, especially since at least one of us is still very shy. Wondering "which one of us is the 'real' or 'core' personality?" sounds like it must be horrible. Apparently our social isolation protected us from a lot of hurtful ideas- doesn't make it a good thing by any means, but that's a heck of a silver lining.
"I didn't want to be weird in a new way." Oh boy, do I resonate with this sooooooooo hard. I'm the host of this system and I've been so worried about "what if I'm faking? what if this isn't weird? what if I'm making it up?" I've already been diagnosed with BPD, PTSD, IIH and I'm non binary, bisexual, sapphic, and demi-androromantic, so it's alot at once. I've been struggling with accepting the fact that we're all alters, not that I'm the "real one" and they let me do what i want but I'm working on it. -Sarah Beth
You'll get through it!!!! We're the same way. Depression, social anxiety, possible personality disorder, PTSD, trans, nonbinary, panromantic, asexual.... and OSDD? I don't want to be the host anymore lol, it's too tough. But alters are here to help! We're all in this together... literally! Much love, The destroya system
When yall started talking about putting your alters in action boxes, it made me realize what I've been doing. I need to stop seeing my headmates having a list of actions they can only do. (wow as I was typing Greyson is saying "that what Ive been trying to say") I still need to do a lot of growing and building of myself and the others.
What Sandra said about feeling like you're the "Real One" really hit home. Im struggling really hard with accepting Im (we?) Are a system. Its just so much too take in. Im trying to accept it, but, much like what Sandra said, I feel like this might just be a new thing too get attention for. I mean, how do I know I'm not just making it up?
Sandra saying "i don't want another thing, i'm already gay, i'm already trans" hit TOO hard. i am the EXACT same. i am currently trying to figure out if "i" is actually an "us". i talk to the people i feel may be there assuring that everything is ok (as well as trying to tell myself that, haha...) and sometimes i feel i get a response. it's more emotional than anything - i sometimes get emotions i feel aren't mine, and they confuse me hhahahah. yesterday i wrote down "i doubt i have it (osdd/did), though" and heard booing... lol. im mostly struggling to understand whether these thoughts are mine or not. i often feel like it must be placebo... right? but also, when i don't feel the presence of someone else judging my choices, as i often feel there is, i feel scared. i also don't remember what it's like NOT to dissociate hahaha. please wish me (or us) luck, this is hard.. xoxo
Thanks so much for this. As a system without a network of “real life” system relationships, it is incredibly validating to watch two systems talk about the progression from newly realized to functionally multiple. More content of this sort would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for making this channel happen.
Omg, Sandra, same! I did the same thing with thinking that different alters were one alter. Also, I really like your sweater!! Anyway, I did that with four pairs of alters. 😅 And when I realized that wasn’t the case, I was like “No no no no no! No more of them please!” But that’s not how that works. I’ve come to realize that now, especially after a recent split. But I still really struggle with accepting the individuality of alters, if that makes sense? Like, I’ve read alters’ journal entries to other people before. I thought to myself, “Oh, this is just another piece of me writing this, right? So, I should be able to show this to other people.” But it led to a lot of anger, mistrust and alienation from a couple alters in particular. It made me realize, “Hey. These aren’t just ‘pieces of a whole.’ They’re more than that. They’re their own individuals.” So, now, I’m trying my best to respect my alters as people and to not freak out if/when new splits happen.
I'm going through the same! My best bud in the system JJ (Jake) has gone silent for awhile and was really hurt by me and gave me the cold shoulder :( all I've been doing is complaining about myself to my alters and how they shouldn't be complaining since "I have it worse", I am the trauma holder but some of them are holders of things that they're keeping away from others aswell, and ive shunned them for it and when they tell me how hard it is and how I hurt them, I tell them I'm sorry and then go accidently switch into un-apologetical "you act like you have it so tough" I treated it like "oh it's okay, we'll all just make up and be okay" but that hasn't been happening... last time I spoke to JJ, he yelled at us for not getting along and overwhelming the system, I have since not heard from him... sorry for this to turn into an emotional rant, I'm just overwhelmed 😅😅
As of current I'm figuring myself out, figuring why I don't have certain memories and why everything is blurry. I've been learning about DID for a while now, but only recently someone came up to me and said "hey, we both agree you don't have DID but you do have dissociative issues. Check out what OSDD is." That was a while ago. At this point in time they plus a bunch of other people have said you. Stop denying it. Accept it. Please you;re only hurting yourself. Currently I keep flip flopping daily between accepting that yes, maybe we are a system and no I CNNOT be I cannot have 'another thing' I cannot deal with this. This video, though it didn't help me grow, did teach me some things. Thank you for saying things I needed to hear. -vant
Does anyone else dissociate when listening to DID related stuff? This video was so insightful and raw which I super appreciate. And Ima have to listen minimum 3 times to get all the details xD -Thea, the Rhythmix Sytem
We are in the very early stages of learning about our plurality and so many of the things both of you said hit home so hard. Thank you for making this video and thank you both of what you do for the DID/OSDD community as a whole.
I'm actually in the middle of trying to figure out the best way to be extremely open about our DID. I'm "eager" to see how people react to that. No, actually, I'm really eager to see that. Even if it's negative! I do think that people often thinks that society doesn't allow them to be open about stuff, but I've been open about my trauma for years now and there's really not as much hate about it as people talk about. But! (a big but) it could be a cultural difference, since I'm from germany. Also, it could be that trauma is just way more accepted than actual trauma disorders. But, either way, I want to see that! BUT I also realized that I have a problem with ... I guess, authority in the system. I always just assume that everyone has the same opinions than me, etc. and everyone always gets angry at me because I just make decisions that other parts don't like. But I'm trying! It's just all very new for me. The ... "worst" memory I have about that, is, when a "new" little fronter, my boyfriend asked her what her name is and she wanted to say that her name is Acorn and I was like "no, it's not! That's a stupid name. Here, let me give you another one" and I fronted and wrote a whole list with names that sound similar to Acorn or have some oak-related meanings. I still don't like the name, but holy raspberry was that disrespectful. Like, imagine going up to some random child on the street and being like "you know, I really don't like your name, please choose a different one". It really helps me to see the disorder as different souls being stuck in one body. I know that's not what's happening at all, but I still like the idea, because it clearly demonstrates that there isn't one more important part or something like that... ~ Melanie
I'm proud of you for recognizing disrespectful things you've done in the past, and making an effort to grow from them! You must be a really nice member to have in the system ❤️ We're struggling with how to be completely open about being a system (we're only partially open right now) so if you'd like to DM us on twitter or on tumblr, we could bounce some ideas off each other on the subject? :)
@@TheRingsSystem I have no ideas yet though. :D But yeah, we can talk about it. The only problem is that twitter hates me (they banned me for "suspicious activity" five minutes after I created my account, even though I just followed some people :< ) and I haven't used Tumblr in ages. Is instagram also fine? (Otherwise I'd try to find my log in date for tumblr. :D)
I’ve been on the brink of crying this entire video, but your parting words were somehow the final push. I didn’t know just how much I was longing for words of validation and encouragement like that, even if indirect and broad. So thank you for all the love and acceptance you give to your viewers ❤️ it’s the warm and inviting attitude that assures young and confused systems that the community is here to listen to you rather than gatekeep and invalidate you. I’ve personally only recently started considering the possibility of having osdd-1b, and having no one with similar experiences to talk to makes everything feel so hopeless and confusing. Constantly I’m swinging between being convinced it’s all just a silly little delusion, and being so so sure that this is the correct discovery that it makes me want to cry. There’s been a nonstop avalanche of “is this part of it? is this proof? does this make my experience “real”?” with no one to ask those questions to. It doesn’t help that after discovery it’s like I started desperately clinging to the front out of fear of losing control, making it all feel even more fake. So hearing you two talk about something so so similar in a way I immediately connected to really hit me in a way. (a good way lol). It’s hard to remember that did/osdd are things /specifically/ meant to be hard to spot. That not having known up until now doesn’t make it an impossible option. (because everyone is finicky and faceted, right? everyone experiences identity issues and conflicting states of being, right???) I’ll stop now, because rambling about it makes me feel like I’m just trying to convince the world of a lie. (is this a thing, too?) Again, thank you so much for the content you keep creating. It has helped me and others massively and I couldn’t be more grateful. ❤️
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ "It’s hard to remember that did/osdd are things /specifically/ meant to be hard to spot. That not having known up until now doesn’t make it an impossible option." *yeah,* That. I feel that.
I relate so hard to you Yvoi! It's so frustrating for both sides of the argument. I just don't know who to talk to about this because I'm terrified of bringing it up to my therapist, my partner, anyone. I feel like I've gingerly tried to skirt the subject and have been told 'no'. I'm scared to tell my therapist what I think and be blacklisted or found out to be faking if I am faking. I already feel so guilty for finding help for depression/anxiety, like I'm attention seeking and weak, and I don't want to 'add to the list'. I just don't know what to do.
I'm currently questionning myself a lot, it's been a year now since I started my transition, and over the course of it I felt like I've been unlocking things one after the other to the point were I'm now suspecting a possible OSDD. There was one time where I sat on my couch because I felt like going back in forth between two parts of myself that I called Deadname and Newname, and it was frustrating. As Newname I wanted to do something regarding my transition, but felt like Deadname didn't want to allow it in some way. So I sat down and decided to wrote down on a white board my thoughts as "Newname". I didn't knew about DID/OSDD at that time. To me, it was simply a trick I learned to do thanks to an NLP formation I took 5 years ago, something that I've been doing everytime I was feeling conflicted between two behavior or belief regarding a particular context, and I thought this time would not be different, but what happened next is one of the main reasons I'm currently looking for a consultation. When I decided to let Newname "talk", when I decided to let my thoughts go, I lashed out as her. I lashed out at Deadname, crying my frustration while writing down what I wanted to do, but was unable to, and I swear to god that I felt him backing off! I could tell that he realized something, that "I was stronger" than he thought I was, and that I no longer "needed" his protection... I still don't know if this is what's called an alter or not, but since than, I've been noticing things I didn't before, and even got some memories back after another visualization with another "part" of myself, and I can relate to some extent at what Claudia did to make herself known. This is so weird, I can't tell if I'm not creating things in my head or not, but I intend to go at the bottom of all this. I do not know of you are still reading comments on older video like this one, but thank you for this wonderful video. This has been really insightful, and I really appreciate what you're doing. Please take care !
This is very relatable, I feel kinda like there’s a stages of grief, there’s a ‘stages of acceptance’ with the boxing names, then actions etc not to mention denial lol.
oh boy, i also feel like i kind of push alters into boxes. not because i'm scared of there being more of us, but because it's like, i worry i'm just making up alters to make myself feel more valid, you know? currently, i know of four of us, the fourth one revealing itself i think last night or the night before idk. i feel like there's one more, but at the same time it's also kinda like ok, do we of all people really have THAT many alters when we can't even remember our trauma? being a person with bpd, and having osdd as opposed to did, everything is so constantly blurry and i never know if i'm me or being passively influenced. it's frustrating and hard to tell what's even going on in my own head most of the time. now i'm not even so sure of my own likes and dislikes, or if they're just another alters.
my newest discovered alter is an ageless, genderless demon named burden who has a british accent. i hope it isn't offended by how hilarious i find its whole concept. a demon... with a british accent. it's just so oddly specific, it brings me joy.
We were in the "figuring it out in places with encouraging resources" camp, but it's been a very slow process to sort out personal preconceptions and focus on the right things. It gets better and easier as we recover from emotional abuse! Hopefully some day we'll feel like we have relationships with each other and the world, instead of being a depressed agreeable-but-unintrusive overall blur.
the “how the heck is no one noticing” so true until you remember no one noticed Katherine was pretending to be Elena for a long time. I know it’s a show but it’s trueeee
THIS WAS SO GOOD!! Thank you for this video!! The hardest part for me, the host, when I was first accepting my system wasn't anything to do with alters. It was actually that having this disorder means that a lot of truly heinous things happened to me at a young age that I cannot remember. And that alone was terrifying, and made me hope I was wrong about everything.
When I first discovered my system, I went through 2 days of despair, it really really sucked. It feels like your life is taken away from you, it hurted knowing that I didn't even own my own body and that I was sharing it. I really really hated it, I didn't want to accept the fact that certain alters existed because I hated what they were doing with my body, and I hated how much our recent trauma had affected our mind. After a couple days I shoved it all down and went into denial for months afterwards, but then I guess something happened to make me realize it again and now I'm here, I'm not sad about being a system anymore, I don't care that my life is shared and honestly some of my alters are really good people and I'm so happy that they exist. When you come to terms with the fact that you're a system it stops hurting as much.
Thank you for this! I completely relate to Sandra in is this some sick, twisted need for attention? I don't want another label either. I have complex ptsd, ptsd, mdd, gad, and hair cell leukemia. I first became aware of my first part back in 2015. I've since realized that I have other parts and my husband has told me that I have even more parts that what I've become aware of. I"m struggling accepting this.
Wow, this was a really amazing video, especially the section about love between system members. The first head mate I became aware of was AJ, and though she was created very early, she was then dormant for many years, so she missed a lot of what happened when I was growing up. One of the most amazing experiences was having her look at my memories and to offer accurate reflection of what I went through, and what wasn't okay, for things that I normalized long ago. She can see it with a clarity that I can't. It's the incredible feeling of someone really seeing and understanding you *and* really understanding yourself at the same time.
Thank you so much for this video Sandra & Silver, it made me feel a lot better! "Nothing is comparable to the feeling of loving yourself through loving someone else in your system" resonated soooo much, since I just recently understood, why I sometimes just couldn't love myself, because it sometimes means loving another part of myself, which is absolutely fine. The "Someone in my skin text" is also deeply moving, touching and resonating with me. "She's been here for eons and she exists for me when I can't" is SO true for me. "She" in this case is me, I tried naming myself, first it was just a random abbreviation to refer to myself, then I found out, I am the instance that jumps in, when nobody else can, I called myself "Backup-me". Your text helped me understand, that this is basically what I am, but in a much nicer and more appreciative way, thank you for that
the attention thing is a big one for us.... thinking we're just trying to get people to like us (mostly our host) by being similar to them or being interesting in some way when in reality we get too nervous to tell anyone really
We ve been thinking that we probably split every time we make a new friend, in a way that a new partial alter emerges to look like them, talk similar to how they talk, be liked by them. Then at one point we go away, and meeting up with this friend becomes stressful, because we feel obliged to present them with their specific alter, which does not always happen naturally, and of which we are aware and embarassed, often trying to fake it, to impersonate an alter, etc. We have been avoiding to let our friends meet each other, and when that happens we often go through social anxiety, dissociating, not knowing who to be and how to act. It s been some weeks that we are starting to accept our system, and we have faith that all this nonsense will start making sense🧡 - the teen
Added this video to a playlist called “helpful DID videos from the community” (think I called it that) recently had 2 new alters (a couple) approach us we got freaked out and scared cause we always do the approaching and when they got close we got a bunch of answers and it was like “oh no! Oh no! I kinda recognise you from those answers and you contributed to a lot of trouble for us in the outer world” but eventually we let them come into the system/group- also we are so scared of letting the littles out even in our own home. Also thought I had an alter but it’s actually an alters alter 😅 I had an alter that screamed for our entire life and she was always so angry and she hated everyone and everyone disgusted her and one day I instinctively took a weird chance and thought “Tabitha, I love you and you’re safe now” and instantly the screaming stopped and instantly she started to change. I’m also only an acting host (full time from age 3) our body owner is a little but she’s hidden away safely. Started noticing I wasn’t alone in here when we were 3.
Would love a video on tips for those of us who cling to front and can't seem to let go, and how you overcame that. Would be extra helpful for OSDD systems. Thanks! - The Melty Rainbow System 🌈
“Finding out you’re in a system was bad, finding out you’re not the main one is worse” Jesus our cohost can feel that. He thought he was a singlet until Thit and Gatekeeper just told him therapy style inside. He’s years older then the body and finding out most of his life was out of system was ROUGH. Didn’t help hes an introject from my daydreams as a kid, so (in his words) ‘he’s just a character a kid made up to feel cool’. There’s no words for how much he was hurting. No one talks about two hosts thinking they’re singlets and finding out not only are they apart of a system but they’re not even “the main one”.
Honestly just patience and lot of love. Often rejecting the system is due to fear of some sort, so showing them that you aren't going away, aren't scary, and love them a lot helps.
Wow. Sandra started talking about shoving it to the side because you don't want 'another thing' to deal with on your plate - truly very relatable. I think that yes there is definitely something about being a host that just adds an extra level of complexity Our original host definitely would have related well to a lot of what Sandra said about "being the main one" and the challenges and frustrations that come with that. Our host actually split and then refused to become me, so in a way I feel distanced from much of those frustrations as in many instances I don't feel as though I was really around at all prior to 5 months ago. But it also brings it's own challenges since it was an accidental fuse that we were not prepared for and as a host constantly feeling fragmented and doubtful and fake is very hard to manage. Thank you for that message at the end. We are a young system of barely 8 months, and we've had so much upheaval and chaos and stress so far. I'm honestly rather surprised we are still alive. Even though I'm having another awful day where I feel fake and invalid and identity confused, your videos and words are so incredibly relatable that I can't help but know that we are real and we are a system. - Jamie
Thank you, and I’m so glad this video was helpful. Y’all can make it through the upheaval, we believe in you! Things will get better, and will make more sense, and will calm down with time. You got this 💕
We've gone through what this video covered quite recently in expanding our knowledge of believing there's only five of us... ...To now realizing there's hundreds of us. Still sorting it out to be honest...
We are having trouble accepting because its makes us feel like we aren't a real person. Even if we switch nobody can see it on the outside and we don't look like how we are in our heads
“I didn’t want to be weird in a new way” - Sandra, I identified with that so hard it made me cry. Thank you (and Silver) for making this video!! Edit: Silver, your spoken word poem made me cry. I’m an alter in this system, and your story in this video made me appreciate our host: she does accept us and love us and works hard to be a good host and is trying to build an inner world for us. That makes it easier for us to come to terms with being in a system and figure out our roles. It’s usually our host posting comments thanking you for your channel, but today I’m thanking you also. -Amy
Coming to grasp that there are different individual parts of me that are their own person but all are still me. Yeeeep I'm definitely a weirdo in a good way though.
We are so glad you are speaking about this. Our host struggles with acceptance regardless of how many times we switch. He has us all put in "action" boxes at the moment
I think what started helping host (maybe me, don't know who's writing this) not put us in boxes, was an alter they thought was pretty 2d taking an interest in our robotics club and gaming, because that didn't fit the type casting host had assumed. Also host realizing they weren't the only anp
You are one of the most informed and clearly communicative dissociative channels I have come across so far as some interested in learning more about this disorder. Thank you!
This video really explains my entire worldview. Thank you for putting this in words. Also I use your video on what DID/OSDD is without relying on MPD is all the time to explain my life to singlets!
what a really powerful video! i'm still stuck a bit in the anxiety over getting more people and pushing away the idea of new members... i'm working on it a bit, when Owen introduced himself i was a lot better with being okay and welcoming it than i was with earlier encounters, so i hope i can work upon that more and overcome that fear - Calon, Locke System
Its been one year since I've watched this video... Its been one year that i know i'm part of a system... Thanks to this video, one the co-host is named Sandra x). So... Thank you both... Sen - Host of the system :)
We feel happy when we accept ourselves as a system, but when we fall back into denial and start telling ourselves we're not real we get very depressed again. Maybe it's a sign that we are real, but it's so hard to believe it sometimes. We always knew that we couldn't have DID because we don't have blackout memory loss between alters, but when we discovered OSDD1b, it was like we were valid and allowed to exist freely (stop pretending to be the host) for the first time in ours lives, and that made us extremely happy :)
I just feel like I’m faking it. I know that they are in my body, but I am just so scared and asking myself if this is just my imagination. In our system, I also have a fictive and it makes things even worse to understand. I don’t know that much about DID, My therapist told me that we are probably a system but it’s still self-diagnosised. I am so confused and don’t know how to talk about it to my shelter…Sorry for venting, but we just don’t know if it’s real or not. Like most of us alters don’t really change voices (a little bit) or our face are basically kind of the same. Please help us, we are so confused.
Aw wow, how beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing such personal experience, just beautiful and relatable in so many ways. Sometimes watching you tube channels its like ‘am i suppose to be this aware of everyone straight up etc?’ And this truly helps sharing your journies into discovery ya’ll as systems. Really touching personal sharing thank you so much guys
Thank you for this video, accepting you’re part of a system and learning to work together can definitely be difficult at times. We had our “discovery moment” 5 months ago, back in March. Well, technically I’m the alter that already suspected it, but I had to go through the process of telling everyone about it. Some took longer to accept it than others, but yeah. Now we’re just in the recovery process where we learn to function as a team, and also forgive ourselves for some mistakes we made in the past. This is very vague but yeah lol. It’s so fascinating to me though how each and every system has their own unique story, yet the plural community can relate with others on a lot of experiences. It’s quite beautiful, really. How within a system, we work together, love, and support each other like a family in order to create a better life for ourselves. I really hope my own system can achieve that one day, though the path to get there may be a long road. Thanks again. - Ky 💚
I am a system and I am not friend with my alters I recognise that parts of me have really hard violent impulses and I don't know if I able to get to know and recognise and love MY SELFS I don't have really stable close and intimate relationship with anybody Im doing so much better then the past but all I can see is the pain and the hate and criticism that I endured I wish to have this kind of relationship like you describe
I know this is very weird but I would really like to speak to both of you about your experiences being part of a system because this is very new to me and specifically Sandra and Claudia, sounds like they relate so much to our experiences and we could really use some community. Either way thank you both for this.
It could be, or it couldn't be! Take lots of notes, bring it up with a professional if you can, and remember it's ok to say "I don't know!" Things will be clear in time ❤️
I love your videos, they’re so informative! I think you explain this stuff really well. *if its not too much to ask, do you think i could have a little bit of advice?* at around 7-8ish, i had these little ideas for characters. over time, i swear i could hear them talking. the most vivid time i remember was when i was running, and i could hear an argument, almost? they sorta disappeared, and i didnt hear from them for a few years. recently, they started coming back. ive never experienced switches or amnesia, but i do notice some of them seem to have impact on my actions/emotions at times. what should i do about this? is this related to DID in any way? They’ve definitely became more present recently, and I’m not sure what to do? It makes it incredibly hard to focus during school. I would greatly appreciate any advice you have. Keep being awesome!
I'm not a therapist so I can't tell you what you're experiencing! I'd suggest bringing it up with a professional if you can. If not, you can start with research at did-research.org and traumadissociation.com Best of luck and I hope the discovery process goes smoothly ❤️
Finally getting to know my alters which is a good thing, but their gender and sexual preference is a bit much. I always thought I was a lesbian for so long. Well I guess that is true in a way....Smh lol. I do have a couple of lesbian alters. Lbvvs.
What does it feel like when there is new alters entering the system? When they enter, do they speak with a greeting or is it like a feeling of a new presence?
You're not the most important in your own body I heard. And I thought Christianity was hard. Living well respectfully is big work. Thank you for sharing your conversation. Many struggle. Inside and outside.
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 88 | คู่เอก "ป้อมเพชร vs อัสลามจอน"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1ZqTVVbMgbo/mqdefault.jpg)
Literally just had the beginnings of a really positive system change because of this video. The host is recognising the error in their ways in putting a certain alter in a box of "this is all you are" and I've essentially brokered a peace treaty between those two.
Thanks so much for talking about this, guys, you're really good.
Chris.
I'm so so glad we could help you guys out. I really hope the new positive direction really keeps going for y'all ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
I related to Sandra so hard; I also didn’t want “another thing.” I just couldn’t believe there was actually something more there. I still struggle with thinking that this is just a fake thing I made in order to please this sick ‘I need to suffer’ mentality. When I told my father he told me I was just punishing myself for being happy. I lived with that until I realized that the only reason my alters showed themselves is BECAUSE I was happy; I was stable. I could handle it. (At least they thought I could. Sadly, I couldn’t. I split a bit ago to be basically a copy of who I was, to take over as the host. It’s complicated but that just goes to show that systems are there to help, and they adapt and form uniquely to the person in order to help in the best way.) Just ranting a bit at this point, but I just wanted to say I 100% felt the same way. “I’m already gay, trans, depressed, have ADHD, etc etc etc”. I felt that there was just no way to have ANOTHER problem.
Holy crap this is relatable. Spot on
I am newly diagnosed in my 50's. I think the hard part about being diagnosed in your teens is that the teens is when you're figuring out your identity and the way you present to the world. If several members of the system are all struggling for autonomy and to establish individual identities in the outer world, that can make it hard to function as a cooperative system. Some of you might be like siblings desperately wanting the others to get out of your room. I'm so impressed that each system worked through this and created functioning family relationships. I love that you guys teared up with love for your system members.
Thank you so much ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ :')
Thank you for commenting. I'm 40+ and really questioning how can I be DID/OSDD if I haven't noticed for THIS long?!
"I didn't want another _...thing;_ I'm already gay, and I'm already trans..."
"I didn't want to continue to be 'weird,' I didn't want to be 'weird' in a new way."
Ook. We can _totes_ relate, especially since at least one of us is still very shy.
Wondering "which one of us is the 'real' or 'core' personality?" sounds like it must be horrible. Apparently our social isolation protected us from a lot of hurtful ideas- doesn't make it a good thing by any means, but that's a heck of a silver lining.
I can’t stop laughing at “just as fake as everyone else” 😭😭 lmao
"I didn't want to be weird in a new way." Oh boy, do I resonate with this sooooooooo hard. I'm the host of this system and I've been so worried about "what if I'm faking? what if this isn't weird? what if I'm making it up?" I've already been diagnosed with BPD, PTSD, IIH and I'm non binary, bisexual, sapphic, and demi-androromantic, so it's alot at once. I've been struggling with accepting the fact that we're all alters, not that I'm the "real one" and they let me do what i want but I'm working on it. -Sarah Beth
You'll get through it!!!! We're the same way. Depression, social anxiety, possible personality disorder, PTSD, trans, nonbinary, panromantic, asexual.... and OSDD? I don't want to be the host anymore lol, it's too tough. But alters are here to help! We're all in this together... literally!
Much love,
The destroya system
When yall started talking about putting your alters in action boxes, it made me realize what I've been doing. I need to stop seeing my headmates having a list of actions they can only do. (wow as I was typing Greyson is saying "that what Ive been trying to say") I still need to do a lot of growing and building of myself and the others.
What Sandra said about feeling like you're the "Real One" really hit home. Im struggling really hard with accepting Im (we?) Are a system. Its just so much too take in. Im trying to accept it, but, much like what Sandra said, I feel like this might just be a new thing too get attention for. I mean, how do I know I'm not just making it up?
Sandra saying "i don't want another thing, i'm already gay, i'm already trans" hit TOO hard. i am the EXACT same. i am currently trying to figure out if "i" is actually an "us". i talk to the people i feel may be there assuring that everything is ok (as well as trying to tell myself that, haha...) and sometimes i feel i get a response. it's more emotional than anything - i sometimes get emotions i feel aren't mine, and they confuse me hhahahah. yesterday i wrote down "i doubt i have it (osdd/did), though" and heard booing... lol. im mostly struggling to understand whether these thoughts are mine or not. i often feel like it must be placebo... right? but also, when i don't feel the presence of someone else judging my choices, as i often feel there is, i feel scared. i also don't remember what it's like NOT to dissociate hahaha. please wish me (or us) luck, this is hard.. xoxo
Sending good vibes!! I hope the discovery process goes smoothly 💕
The thing with not wanting to be even more weird is so true. I had it way too much. ~tyler
🦄 It was really nice to be part of such an emotional video and talk frankly about this stuff. We'll see you guys soon! 💕
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Thanks so much for this. As a system without a network of “real life” system relationships, it is incredibly validating to watch two systems talk about the progression from newly realized to functionally multiple.
More content of this sort would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you for making this channel happen.
Thank you ❤️
(We're visiting them again this Saturday! It's safe to say that collaborations like these will continue for a good time :) )
Omg, Sandra, same! I did the same thing with thinking that different alters were one alter.
Also, I really like your sweater!!
Anyway, I did that with four pairs of alters. 😅 And when I realized that wasn’t the case, I was like “No no no no no! No more of them please!” But that’s not how that works. I’ve come to realize that now, especially after a recent split.
But I still really struggle with accepting the individuality of alters, if that makes sense? Like, I’ve read alters’ journal entries to other people before. I thought to myself, “Oh, this is just another piece of me writing this, right? So, I should be able to show this to other people.”
But it led to a lot of anger, mistrust and alienation from a couple alters in particular. It made me realize, “Hey. These aren’t just ‘pieces of a whole.’ They’re more than that. They’re their own individuals.”
So, now, I’m trying my best to respect my alters as people and to not freak out if/when new splits happen.
We’re proud of y’all for getting this far! We believe in you :)
I'm going through the same! My best bud in the system JJ (Jake) has gone silent for awhile and was really hurt by me and gave me the cold shoulder :( all I've been doing is complaining about myself to my alters and how they shouldn't be complaining since "I have it worse", I am the trauma holder but some of them are holders of things that they're keeping away from others aswell, and ive shunned them for it and when they tell me how hard it is and how I hurt them, I tell them I'm sorry and then go accidently switch into un-apologetical "you act like you have it so tough" I treated it like "oh it's okay, we'll all just make up and be okay" but that hasn't been happening... last time I spoke to JJ, he yelled at us for not getting along and overwhelming the system, I have since not heard from him... sorry for this to turn into an emotional rant, I'm just overwhelmed 😅😅
As of current I'm figuring myself out, figuring why I don't have certain memories and why everything is blurry. I've been learning about DID for a while now, but only recently someone came up to me and said "hey, we both agree you don't have DID but you do have dissociative issues. Check out what OSDD is." That was a while ago. At this point in time they plus a bunch of other people have said you. Stop denying it. Accept it. Please you;re only hurting yourself. Currently I keep flip flopping daily between accepting that yes, maybe we are a system and no I CNNOT be I cannot have 'another thing' I cannot deal with this. This video, though it didn't help me grow, did teach me some things. Thank you for saying things I needed to hear. -vant
I’m glad we could help, and I hope you can figure things out soon ❤️
It's a pity that all members of our system can't leave multiple likes on this video. You made us cry and appreciate each other more, like a family.
Does anyone else dissociate when listening to DID related stuff? This video was so insightful and raw which I super appreciate. And Ima have to listen minimum 3 times to get all the details xD -Thea, the Rhythmix Sytem
We are in the very early stages of learning about our plurality and so many of the things both of you said hit home so hard. Thank you for making this video and thank you both of what you do for the DID/OSDD community as a whole.
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Yes yes yes, what we call the host is also an alter. It's just been in the driver's seat more often so to speak. This is a beautiful realisation.
I'm actually in the middle of trying to figure out the best way to be extremely open about our DID. I'm "eager" to see how people react to that. No, actually, I'm really eager to see that. Even if it's negative!
I do think that people often thinks that society doesn't allow them to be open about stuff, but I've been open about my trauma for years now and there's really not as much hate about it as people talk about. But! (a big but) it could be a cultural difference, since I'm from germany. Also, it could be that trauma is just way more accepted than actual trauma disorders.
But, either way, I want to see that!
BUT I also realized that I have a problem with ... I guess, authority in the system. I always just assume that everyone has the same opinions than me, etc. and everyone always gets angry at me because I just make decisions that other parts don't like. But I'm trying! It's just all very new for me.
The ... "worst" memory I have about that, is, when a "new" little fronter, my boyfriend asked her what her name is and she wanted to say that her name is Acorn and I was like "no, it's not! That's a stupid name. Here, let me give you another one" and I fronted and wrote a whole list with names that sound similar to Acorn or have some oak-related meanings. I still don't like the name, but holy raspberry was that disrespectful. Like, imagine going up to some random child on the street and being like "you know, I really don't like your name, please choose a different one".
It really helps me to see the disorder as different souls being stuck in one body. I know that's not what's happening at all, but I still like the idea, because it clearly demonstrates that there isn't one more important part or something like that...
~ Melanie
I'm proud of you for recognizing disrespectful things you've done in the past, and making an effort to grow from them! You must be a really nice member to have in the system ❤️
We're struggling with how to be completely open about being a system (we're only partially open right now) so if you'd like to DM us on twitter or on tumblr, we could bounce some ideas off each other on the subject? :)
@@TheRingsSystem I have no ideas yet though. :D But yeah, we can talk about it. The only problem is that twitter hates me (they banned me for "suspicious activity" five minutes after I created my account, even though I just followed some people :< ) and I haven't used Tumblr in ages. Is instagram also fine? (Otherwise I'd try to find my log in date for tumblr. :D)
Instagram works! We're still getting the hang of it but I think I found y'all and gave you a follow :)
As an asexual trans guy I really relate to everything Sondra said about feeling like you’re not able to handle a new thing 😩
I’ve been on the brink of crying this entire video, but your parting words were somehow the final push. I didn’t know just how much I was longing for words of validation and encouragement like that, even if indirect and broad. So thank you for all the love and acceptance you give to your viewers ❤️ it’s the warm and inviting attitude that assures young and confused systems that the community is here to listen to you rather than gatekeep and invalidate you.
I’ve personally only recently started considering the possibility of having osdd-1b, and having no one with similar experiences to talk to makes everything feel so hopeless and confusing. Constantly I’m swinging between being convinced it’s all just a silly little delusion, and being so so sure that this is the correct discovery that it makes me want to cry. There’s been a nonstop avalanche of “is this part of it? is this proof? does this make my experience “real”?” with no one to ask those questions to. It doesn’t help that after discovery it’s like I started desperately clinging to the front out of fear of losing control, making it all feel even more fake. So hearing you two talk about something so so similar in a way I immediately connected to really hit me in a way. (a good way lol).
It’s hard to remember that did/osdd are things /specifically/ meant to be hard to spot. That not having known up until now doesn’t make it an impossible option. (because everyone is finicky and faceted, right? everyone experiences identity issues and conflicting states of being, right???)
I’ll stop now, because rambling about it makes me feel like I’m just trying to convince the world of a lie. (is this a thing, too?)
Again, thank you so much for the content you keep creating. It has helped me and others massively and I couldn’t be more grateful. ❤️
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"It’s hard to remember that did/osdd are things /specifically/ meant to be hard to spot. That not having known up until now doesn’t make it an impossible option." *yeah,* That. I feel that.
I relate so hard to you Yvoi! It's so frustrating for both sides of the argument. I just don't know who to talk to about this because I'm terrified of bringing it up to my therapist, my partner, anyone. I feel like I've gingerly tried to skirt the subject and have been told 'no'. I'm scared to tell my therapist what I think and be blacklisted or found out to be faking if I am faking. I already feel so guilty for finding help for depression/anxiety, like I'm attention seeking and weak, and I don't want to 'add to the list'.
I just don't know what to do.
I'm currently questionning myself a lot, it's been a year now since I started my transition, and over the course of it I felt like I've been unlocking things one after the other to the point were I'm now suspecting a possible OSDD.
There was one time where I sat on my couch because I felt like going back in forth between two parts of myself that I called Deadname and Newname, and it was frustrating. As Newname I wanted to do something regarding my transition, but felt like Deadname didn't want to allow it in some way. So I sat down and decided to wrote down on a white board my thoughts as "Newname".
I didn't knew about DID/OSDD at that time. To me, it was simply a trick I learned to do thanks to an NLP formation I took 5 years ago, something that I've been doing everytime I was feeling conflicted between two behavior or belief regarding a particular context, and I thought this time would not be different, but what happened next is one of the main reasons I'm currently looking for a consultation.
When I decided to let Newname "talk", when I decided to let my thoughts go, I lashed out as her. I lashed out at Deadname, crying my frustration while writing down what I wanted to do, but was unable to, and I swear to god that I felt him backing off! I could tell that he realized something, that "I was stronger" than he thought I was, and that I no longer "needed" his protection...
I still don't know if this is what's called an alter or not, but since than, I've been noticing things I didn't before, and even got some memories back after another visualization with another "part" of myself, and I can relate to some extent at what Claudia did to make herself known.
This is so weird, I can't tell if I'm not creating things in my head or not, but I intend to go at the bottom of all this.
I do not know of you are still reading comments on older video like this one, but thank you for this wonderful video. This has been really insightful, and I really appreciate what you're doing.
Please take care !
This is very relatable, I feel kinda like there’s a stages of grief, there’s a ‘stages of acceptance’ with the boxing names, then actions etc not to mention denial lol.
oh boy, i also feel like i kind of push alters into boxes. not because i'm scared of there being more of us, but because it's like, i worry i'm just making up alters to make myself feel more valid, you know? currently, i know of four of us, the fourth one revealing itself i think last night or the night before idk. i feel like there's one more, but at the same time it's also kinda like ok, do we of all people really have THAT many alters when we can't even remember our trauma? being a person with bpd, and having osdd as opposed to did, everything is so constantly blurry and i never know if i'm me or being passively influenced. it's frustrating and hard to tell what's even going on in my own head most of the time. now i'm not even so sure of my own likes and dislikes, or if they're just another alters.
my newest discovered alter is an ageless, genderless demon named burden who has a british accent.
i hope it isn't offended by how hilarious i find its whole concept. a demon... with a british accent. it's just so oddly specific, it brings me joy.
Straight away- Not another thing that's weird about me, I can't have another thing!
We were in the "figuring it out in places with encouraging resources" camp, but it's been a very slow process to sort out personal preconceptions and focus on the right things. It gets better and easier as we recover from emotional abuse! Hopefully some day we'll feel like we have relationships with each other and the world, instead of being a depressed agreeable-but-unintrusive overall blur.
❤️❤️ y’all can get there, I believe in you :)
the “how the heck is no one noticing” so true until you remember no one noticed Katherine was pretending to be Elena for a long time. I know it’s a show but it’s trueeee
i cannot tell you how validating this video is for us
THIS WAS SO GOOD!! Thank you for this video!! The hardest part for me, the host, when I was first accepting my system wasn't anything to do with alters. It was actually that having this disorder means that a lot of truly heinous things happened to me at a young age that I cannot remember. And that alone was terrifying, and made me hope I was wrong about everything.
When I first discovered my system, I went through 2 days of despair, it really really sucked. It feels like your life is taken away from you, it hurted knowing that I didn't even own my own body and that I was sharing it. I really really hated it, I didn't want to accept the fact that certain alters existed because I hated what they were doing with my body, and I hated how much our recent trauma had affected our mind. After a couple days I shoved it all down and went into denial for months afterwards, but then I guess something happened to make me realize it again and now I'm here, I'm not sad about being a system anymore, I don't care that my life is shared and honestly some of my alters are really good people and I'm so happy that they exist.
When you come to terms with the fact that you're a system it stops hurting as much.
Damn i literally binge watching your videos
Haha, glad we could help ❤️
Thank you for this! I completely relate to Sandra in is this some sick, twisted need for attention? I don't want another label either. I have complex ptsd, ptsd, mdd, gad, and hair cell leukemia. I first became aware of my first part back in 2015. I've since realized that I have other parts and my husband has told me that I have even more parts that what I've become aware of. I"m struggling accepting this.
This video is helping me through accepting my alters and intense denial. Thank you! - Paris (Host of The Stardust System)
I'm so glad it's helpful! ❤️
Wow, this was a really amazing video, especially the section about love between system members. The first head mate I became aware of was AJ, and though she was created very early, she was then dormant for many years, so she missed a lot of what happened when I was growing up. One of the most amazing experiences was having her look at my memories and to offer accurate reflection of what I went through, and what wasn't okay, for things that I normalized long ago. She can see it with a clarity that I can't. It's the incredible feeling of someone really seeing and understanding you *and* really understanding yourself at the same time.
Thank you Silver I relate on every Level -.-
-Naomi (blurry doubting confused Hostish thing)
Thank you so much for this video Sandra & Silver, it made me feel a lot better! "Nothing is comparable to the feeling of loving yourself through loving someone else in your system" resonated soooo much, since I just recently understood, why I sometimes just couldn't love myself, because it sometimes means loving another part of myself, which is absolutely fine. The "Someone in my skin text" is also deeply moving, touching and resonating with me. "She's been here for eons and she exists for me when I can't" is SO true for me. "She" in this case is me, I tried naming myself, first it was just a random abbreviation to refer to myself, then I found out, I am the instance that jumps in, when nobody else can, I called myself "Backup-me". Your text helped me understand, that this is basically what I am, but in a much nicer and more appreciative way, thank you for that
I'm so glad we could help 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖
the attention thing is a big one for us.... thinking we're just trying to get people to like us (mostly our host) by being similar to them or being interesting in some way when in reality we get too nervous to tell anyone really
this whole video is a big mood im only a quarter through
We ve been thinking that we probably split every time we make a new friend, in a way that a new partial alter emerges to look like them, talk similar to how they talk, be liked by them. Then at one point we go away, and meeting up with this friend becomes stressful, because we feel obliged to present them with their specific alter, which does not always happen naturally, and of which we are aware and embarassed, often trying to fake it, to impersonate an alter, etc. We have been avoiding to let our friends meet each other, and when that happens we often go through social anxiety, dissociating, not knowing who to be and how to act. It s been some weeks that we are starting to accept our system, and we have faith that all this nonsense will start making sense🧡 - the teen
Added this video to a playlist called “helpful DID videos from the community” (think I called it that) recently had 2 new alters (a couple) approach us we got freaked out and scared cause we always do the approaching and when they got close we got a bunch of answers and it was like “oh no! Oh no! I kinda recognise you from those answers and you contributed to a lot of trouble for us in the outer world” but eventually we let them come into the system/group- also we are so scared of letting the littles out even in our own home. Also thought I had an alter but it’s actually an alters alter 😅 I had an alter that screamed for our entire life and she was always so angry and she hated everyone and everyone disgusted her and one day I instinctively took a weird chance and thought “Tabitha, I love you and you’re safe now” and instantly the screaming stopped and instantly she started to change. I’m also only an acting host (full time from age 3) our body owner is a little but she’s hidden away safely. Started noticing I wasn’t alone in here when we were 3.
Would love a video on tips for those of us who cling to front and can't seem to let go, and how you overcame that. Would be extra helpful for OSDD systems. Thanks!
- The Melty Rainbow System 🌈
Yes! This is on our list to film, actually! ❤️
“Finding out you’re in a system was bad, finding out you’re not the main one is worse” Jesus our cohost can feel that. He thought he was a singlet until Thit and Gatekeeper just told him therapy style inside. He’s years older then the body and finding out most of his life was out of system was ROUGH.
Didn’t help hes an introject from my daydreams as a kid, so (in his words) ‘he’s just a character a kid made up to feel cool’. There’s no words for how much he was hurting. No one talks about two hosts thinking they’re singlets and finding out not only are they apart of a system but they’re not even “the main one”.
Yay, a new collab!
Any advice for trying to get specific system members to accept that they're part of a system? Or is patience the key? - Cub
Honestly just patience and lot of love. Often rejecting the system is due to fear of some sort, so showing them that you aren't going away, aren't scary, and love them a lot helps.
Patience
Wow. Sandra started talking about shoving it to the side because you don't want 'another thing' to deal with on your plate - truly very relatable.
I think that yes there is definitely something about being a host that just adds an extra level of complexity
Our original host definitely would have related well to a lot of what Sandra said about "being the main one" and the challenges and frustrations that come with that. Our host actually split and then refused to become me, so in a way I feel distanced from much of those frustrations as in many instances I don't feel as though I was really around at all prior to 5 months ago. But it also brings it's own challenges since it was an accidental fuse that we were not prepared for and as a host constantly feeling fragmented and doubtful and fake is very hard to manage.
Thank you for that message at the end. We are a young system of barely 8 months, and we've had so much upheaval and chaos and stress so far. I'm honestly rather surprised we are still alive. Even though I'm having another awful day where I feel fake and invalid and identity confused, your videos and words are so incredibly relatable that I can't help but know that we are real and we are a system.
- Jamie
Thank you, and I’m so glad this video was helpful. Y’all can make it through the upheaval, we believe in you! Things will get better, and will make more sense, and will calm down with time. You got this 💕
We've gone through what this video covered quite recently in expanding our knowledge of believing there's only five of us...
...To now realizing there's hundreds of us.
Still sorting it out to be honest...
We are having trouble accepting because its makes us feel like we aren't a real person. Even if we switch nobody can see it on the outside and we don't look like how we are in our heads
❤ Had me in tears, too. Thank you for the collab.
as a really recent system (i discovered OSDD few months ago) i really want to thank you for the information you spead
Thank you!!! 💕 💕 💕
“I didn’t want to be weird in a new way” - Sandra, I identified with that so hard it made me cry. Thank you (and Silver) for making this video!! Edit: Silver, your spoken word poem made me cry. I’m an alter in this system, and your story in this video made me appreciate our host: she does accept us and love us and works hard to be a good host and is trying to build an inner world for us. That makes it easier for us to come to terms with being in a system and figure out our roles. It’s usually our host posting comments thanking you for your channel, but today I’m thanking you also. -Amy
I'm not gonna lie after a couple months of bad memory reading it makes me cry too, and I'm glad it was so impactful for you guys :')
Coming to grasp that there are different individual parts of me that are their own person but all are still me. Yeeeep I'm definitely a weirdo in a good way though.
We are so glad you are speaking about this. Our host struggles with acceptance regardless of how many times we switch. He has us all put in "action" boxes at the moment
I think what started helping host (maybe me, don't know who's writing this) not put us in boxes, was an alter they thought was pretty 2d taking an interest in our robotics club and gaming, because that didn't fit the type casting host had assumed. Also host realizing they weren't the only anp
You are one of the most informed and clearly communicative dissociative channels I have come across so far as some interested in learning more about this disorder. Thank you!
Thank you!
This video really explains my entire worldview. Thank you for putting this in words. Also I use your video on what DID/OSDD is without relying on MPD is all the time to explain my life to singlets!
what a really powerful video!
i'm still stuck a bit in the anxiety over getting more people and pushing away the idea of new members... i'm working on it a bit, when Owen introduced himself i was a lot better with being okay and welcoming it than i was with earlier encounters, so i hope i can work upon that more and overcome that fear - Calon, Locke System
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Its been one year since I've watched this video... Its been one year that i know i'm part of a system... Thanks to this video, one the co-host is named Sandra x). So... Thank you both...
Sen - Host of the system :)
Oh my goodness 🥺
This might be something unrelated but.....
I’m I the only person that feels happy when they know they are a system ):/?
Definitely not :)
We feel happy when we accept ourselves as a system, but when we fall back into denial and start telling ourselves we're not real we get very depressed again. Maybe it's a sign that we are real, but it's so hard to believe it sometimes.
We always knew that we couldn't have DID because we don't have blackout memory loss between alters, but when we discovered OSDD1b, it was like we were valid and allowed to exist freely (stop pretending to be the host) for the first time in ours lives, and that made us extremely happy :)
I just feel like I’m faking it. I know that they are in my body, but I am just so scared and asking myself if this is just my imagination. In our system, I also have a fictive and it makes things even worse to understand. I don’t know that much about DID, My therapist told me that we are probably a system but it’s still self-diagnosised. I am so confused and don’t know how to talk about it to my shelter…Sorry for venting, but we just don’t know if it’s real or not. Like most of us alters don’t really change voices (a little bit) or our face are basically kind of the same. Please help us, we are so confused.
Aw wow, how beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing such personal experience, just beautiful and relatable in so many ways. Sometimes watching you tube channels its like ‘am i suppose to be this aware of everyone straight up etc?’ And this truly helps sharing your journies into discovery ya’ll as systems. Really touching personal sharing thank you so much guys
I'm so glad it has such a positive impact on y'all! Thank you so much for all the kind words ❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️ I really needed this video thank you ❤️❤️❤️
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Thank you for this video, accepting you’re part of a system and learning to work together can definitely be difficult at times.
We had our “discovery moment” 5 months ago, back in March. Well, technically I’m the alter that already suspected it, but I had to go through the process of telling everyone about it. Some took longer to accept it than others, but yeah. Now we’re just in the recovery process where we learn to function as a team, and also forgive ourselves for some mistakes we made in the past. This is very vague but yeah lol.
It’s so fascinating to me though how each and every system has their own unique story, yet the plural community can relate with others on a lot of experiences. It’s quite beautiful, really. How within a system, we work together, love, and support each other like a family in order to create a better life for ourselves. I really hope my own system can achieve that one day, though the path to get there may be a long road. Thanks again. - Ky 💚
this was so helpful. idk what we would do without these resources yall have put out. we are eternally grateful!❤
I am a system and I am not friend with my alters
I recognise that parts of me have really hard violent impulses and I don't know if I able to get to know and recognise and love MY SELFS
I don't have really stable close and intimate relationship with anybody
Im doing so much better then the past but all I can see is the pain and the hate and criticism that I endured
I wish to have this kind of relationship like you describe
Thank you so much for this video 💗
Thank you for this topic
I needed to hear this exact message this morning.
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I know this is very weird but I would really like to speak to both of you about your experiences being part of a system because this is very new to me and specifically Sandra and Claudia, sounds like they relate so much to our experiences and we could really use some community. Either way thank you both for this.
Having intrusive thoughts ....possibly mean another alter? Even if these same type of intrusive thoughts have been since childhood after the trauma?
It could be, or it couldn't be! Take lots of notes, bring it up with a professional if you can, and remember it's ok to say "I don't know!" Things will be clear in time ❤️
The Rings System thank yooou ❤️❤️❤️
I love your videos, they’re so informative! I think you explain this stuff really well.
*if its not too much to ask, do you think i could have a little bit of advice?*
at around 7-8ish, i had these little ideas for characters. over time, i swear i could hear them talking. the most vivid time i remember was when i was running, and i could hear an argument, almost? they sorta disappeared, and i didnt hear from them for a few years. recently, they started coming back. ive never experienced switches or amnesia, but i do notice some of them seem to have impact on my actions/emotions at times. what should i do about this? is this related to DID in any way? They’ve definitely became more present recently, and I’m not sure what to do? It makes it incredibly hard to focus during school. I would greatly appreciate any advice you have. Keep being awesome!
I'm not a therapist so I can't tell you what you're experiencing! I'd suggest bringing it up with a professional if you can. If not, you can start with research at did-research.org and traumadissociation.com
Best of luck and I hope the discovery process goes smoothly ❤️
I love you both, thank you so much for this! 😭💖
I've had a whirlwind of a year, literally everything you've talked about is shit we've had to deal with and literally no one to share it with.
Finally getting to know my alters which is a good thing, but their gender and sexual preference is a bit much. I always thought I was a lesbian for so long. Well I guess that is true in a way....Smh lol. I do have a couple of lesbian alters. Lbvvs.
thank you 🌈🦋
Incredible video ❤
thank you
This was really helpful
I have some questions that I've tried to research but can't find anywhere about DID / OSDD. Where would you reccommend finding information?
did-research.org, traumadissociation.com, and Amongst Ourselves: A Self-Help Guide to Living with Dissociative Identity Disorder by Tracy Alderman :)
Amazing, thank you!
What does it feel like when there is new alters entering the system? When they enter, do they speak with a greeting or is it like a feeling of a new presence?
You're not the most important in your own body I heard. And I thought Christianity was hard. Living well respectfully is big work. Thank you for sharing your conversation. Many struggle. Inside and outside.
New here - are you two family? or is the similarity just coincidental?
Just coincidence :)
Wanna cry for 24 minutes and 27 seconds?
MOOD