“People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘You’re safe with me’-that’s intimacy.” - Evelyn Hugo
Physical Intimacy and Emotional Intimacy are the ones I think I’m missing. I just sometimes want to lay down and hug someone I trust. Nothing sexual related just for the feeling of comfort, safety and calming feeling And just let out what’s on my mind without any expectation of fixing something or getting help. I just want to sometimes just want to get things out of my mind by saying them.
I really appreciate that despite the fact people usually are hesitant to talk about certain topics, you still do talk about if necessary This psychological content has helped me a bit over time, so I appreciate your channel
@@everengaged9370 mate, it’s statistically very unlikely you don’t make any type of relationship in your life. Besides, you probably have a relationship with your parents at least.
Relationships these days have become way too surface level and shallow. We have promoted for too long now that operating from a place of lust and bonding with people just because they are attractive. The issue with that is, you then start dating on hard mode, because your criteria for a "potential" partner, now becomes over saturated! You will find ALOT OF PEOPLE sexually alluring, but that doesn't mean you should act on it. Everything about their personality, emotional/psychological wellbeing, goals/life plans and hidden traumas that they may have, has to be taken into consideration. If you do not become clear within what makes you happy or why you are even dating, you should probably not mess around with becoming bonded to people who serve no purpose in your life. It may seem very harmless to seek sexual intimacy, but in reality you play with fire questioning your decisions why you are bonded to someone you feel nothing for.
Yes! I agree with this! As someone who is demiromantic and demisexual, I literally can't feel any romantic or sexual feelings without a friendship already being present. Being both a double demi and an autistic woman, I once had an unrequited love trauma happen when I was 19 because the guy I met like immediately had a crush on me and was trying to push me towards a deeper level of intimacy than I was comfortable with. It was a mismatch, a horrible mismatch. 3 months later, I give him a simple hug and he thinks it's a sexual act and I was just in rage and immediately broke up with him over the phone and then cried. Ever since then, I've felt too much anxiety over the possibility of history repeating itself to even approach men to make friends with them, let alone date someone. And yet, I do want to find a good husband. Someone who is honest, compassionate, understands that I need to take it slow and is patient enough to do so, and who likes me for who I am. It's like, I can't find that someone without making friends with men. And I can't make friends with men cause of my anxiety. And I have anxiety because of a past trauma from a severe mismatch on the romantic and sexual attraction spectrum. I'm doing well making friends with other women, but men, I feel like I just can't get beyond "Hi" and small talk and little friendly compliments like "I like your watch" and actually get to the phase of getting to know them as a person.
@@caterscarrots3407- First I want to acknowledge your openness about the situation when you were 19, and in your reality things were taken too far too quickly and it left a ever lasting mark on you. :) I actually strongly agree with you that, your partner should feel like your best friend and a person who you can safely expose your subconscious ticks to without feeling judged, or in the fear of being abandoned if you do soo! I would hope to any woman in the past that felt comfortable with opening up to me can look at my today and know that I was always there for them and would never have brought them down. I believe from what you wrote down, that you have a hidden fear of being let down again by a man and you are being very precautious and looking out for similar patterns repeating . It also appears that you realize that men "attach their ego" to their attachment and that treading carefully around which men you allow to even bond with you is crucial. Men can be very sneaky when approaching woman with friendship and become attached. And since their ego's become attached to you as a friend, male friends can potentially manipulate situations for their own benefit, which has no bearing for what you truly want and desire. It's also not fun for men to enter situations that have alot of harboring emotional men around, that you can sense there is contention.
@@caterscarrots3407 firstly, I want to acknowledge that you are on the right track to understanding what is holding you back! It would indeed be a very traumatizing situation when you are freshly into adulthood, with I presume at the time very little experience with men. The flow of the interactions you had back then, very out of tune, and left you with a polarizing experience. I strongly agree with you, that the right person in life, should make you feel open and comfortable enough to share your subconscious ticks with and feel safe to be who you are. This alone will settle the anxiety because, that never ending voice you have in your head, could easily just be solved be a simple straight conversation with the person who you are with can make the world become so alive and vibrant. As someone who has been a very hyper social person and got to know many personality types. I agree with your approach that your partner should be able to pass "the emotional" test that you would put a friend through, before sex would be involved. But, men unfortunately attach different then woman, we activate our "provider" mode when we become close to a woman and see similar values. It turns off our primate monkey brains and makes us care for you. So men can become attached way quicker, if were are around alot and feel a sense of being nurtured when we can help you with something. Just be careful with how many men you allow into your life, because i first hand have experienced my most contentious moments in life, due to 3rd party men, who were subtly trying to manipulate situations that were not in the favor of the person who i was dating. It is not very fun as a men, entering these kinds of situations and having to deal with this sort of contention. To woman, it may feel like a safe friend and but to a new person trying to enter to your life, these men can become a big problem for you.
@@Vishfeast Yeah, I had basically zero experience with men at the time that the unrequited love trauma happened cause I was homeschooled from 5th grade up to the time that I went to college. And that was because I was bullied by what seemed like everyone in 4th grade and my mom knew how much it was affecting me and decided to pull me out of the public school system. And I never made friends in my childhood years. As such, I never had experience with meeting young boys, developing those feelings, going to prom, I never had that.
@@caterscarrots3407 well, all I can say is that I hope that you can find a way to forgive yourself for that that experience, you didn't do anything wrong but was mislead down a path of how a proper relationship should form. And you can find a way to become optimistic and courageous to overcome your fears that all men will create an negative situation like that again. From what you also have presented, this experience may have pushed you a bit into the avoidant attachment realm, which essentially has programmed your brain to be triggered when a sense of ones "freedom" is in jeopardy and your sense of autonomy. This is something that can be worked on your part, to utilize your found experience with what happened when you were 19, and seek to find a partner that has a strong ability to "self soothe" his emotions. Finding this trait in a man, will put way less pressure on you and will hopefully help provide a safe place for you to open up to the feeling of love.
Sex is only a tiny fraction of the intimacy shared between people who love each other. Very little of a couple’s lives together revolves around sex, meaning the majority of our day is taken up by so many more important things that aren’t sex. I’ll never understand why it takes up *so much* headspace for certain types of people. 😅 Total strangers have sex all the time, and actual intimacy has very little to do with that interaction. That word we keep using, I do not think it means what most people want it to mean. 😂 The definition of intimacy is as follows: Intimacy noun 1 close familiarity or friendship; closeness. "the intimacy between a husband and wife" 2. private cozy atmosphere. "the room had a peaceful sense of intimacy about it" (And lastly it is used) Euphemistically 3. an intimate act, especially sexual intercourse.
I mean sexual intimacy is no "very little" by any means... How many relationships, not just casual couples but entire marriages had fallen apart for the lack of sexual fulfillment? I would say that a lot do, maybe not as often as for other reasons, but we cannot underestimate how many cases of cheating are related to having little to no physical intimacy at all. Sexual intimacy, is just as important to a relationship than any other type, for some couple is *less* important, like those relationships in which partners sleep in separate beds or don't practice sex that often, which is fine and perfectly healthy as long as they share other types of activities together, BUT it can also be *more* important for other couples, like those couples that end up resolving their problems or at least calming their arguments and tension after a good intimate exchange. Some people share the things they like (like music taste or favorite movies) as a way of showing love to their SO, to some others is just small talk. Some people love more than anything else spending time doing any type of activity with their loved ones, even the most basic stuff like doing homework together, or walking the other person to their house even if it takes longer for themselves to be back at their home, for other people all of that is just friendly behavior. And of course, for some people sexual activities and physical connection are the apex of love, care and passion, to the point of feeling like going back home to have 1 hour of intimacy with their partner is enough to overshadow an entire day of burdens and problems at work and day to day life, while for others is just another weekly couple activity in which they engage just because they were in the mood at the moment and that's it. At the end of the day it should not be that hard to understand, everyone in the world has different ways to show and feel love and affection, so everyone values things differently. Sexual intimacy just happens to be the one more people is infatuated about because physical pleasure is easier to understand and as such to seek, I mean, for the big majority of the population (most likely everyone in the world) sexual awakening occurs waaaay before developing any sense of emotional intelligence, so for a big part of our lives, to some people their entire lives even, sex and physical intimacy is the only type of intimacy that we truly know about.
Sex is a very important component of a relationship. However, it is more important for some than others. Have you ever read "The five love languages?" It is my strongest love language. But like lots of pleasurable things, sex can become an obsession.
I'm literally going to bawl my eyes out, a year ago I couldn't have said this but I finally found someone with whom I have each type of intimacy. I feel like this channel definitely helped in some kind of way for me to get there so thanks ! :)
I never knew there were so many types, but this makes sense!! Thank you for sharing! I think I crave emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and even conflict intimacy the most.
Am lucky that my bestie doesn't mind that I love them romantically, because most of these, I *also* experience with them. Heck; I realized that I was in love with them because they taught me about all these types of intimacy while talking about what people might be into aside from sex and attraction, and I felt most of these about them already.
My previous relationship took a turn when me and a boyfriend assumed I wanted sex. He tried to convince me that sex is the essence of pure intimacy between couples. We were clashing ideas. I got scared when he got all touchy and forcing the idea into my body. Its not all bad actually, but he gave up when he saw me shaking and scared. I wanted was something else. A deep and meaningful togetherness/conversation. It all boils down to setting expectations first before assuming things. We all good. But we could not keep the relationship, so its a bittersweet end.
As a man, I've been told that all I ever want and think is sex. Any look, gesture or touch is assigned to be all about sex. This has been going on since I was a young boy, years before I ever began to see anything attractive about girls. Heck, my first accusation of "intent to rape" was when I was 12, from the same teacher who wrote in her reports that my physical development was a bit slow compared to classmates. Reality is that I'm an introverted demi/sapio. Most people are not even potential mates to me. I don't want them in my space, I don't want them to touch me, I don't want to touch them. Intellectual and emotional interaction can be nice though. But I guess that my being sapio assigns sexual intent to every conversation I have with anyone, right? 🤣 Society really needs this conversation. My being male does not make me a sex-crazed maniac.
thank you so much for reminding me that sex is not the most important things in a relationship. Instead it s those tiny tiny shared moments builded with trust and closeness that build up a happy life love your channel^^
Everyone should know about the different types of intimacy. I feel like the word intimacy is unjustly only always associated to sex, but there is so much more to intimacy.
@@Psych2go these videos are what people who want to better themselves need to hear. The less hardcore side of self improvement content. The more mental side
Wow. I just realized I never had any intimacy of sorta in my life. As interesting as this video was, it was weird to learn that new bit of information lol
When I watch these type of videos, I always think about the exact topic from the video, (Wow). What I am trying to say is that when you don't watch one of these vids, I always act differently from when I watch this. '''This makes it kinda hard to 'convince' myself to remember thinking to myself that I ever thought that way, (if this sentence makes sense).'''
Can you please clarify what exactly is spiritual intimacy? Because the video was less than clear about this one! Does it require any kind of religious or other transcendental beliefs, or can it be 100% secular?
15 Years, I tried to build each of these kinds of Intimacy. Like everything in her life, it was only about her and her ability to fake interest in me lasted 2 weeks. After 2 weeks, she no longer even faked a give and take situation by wandering out of the room a minute or so after it no longer focused on her. Of no surprise, when I got sick, she left shortly there after. It was no longer about her, there was no built up Intimacy, and I no longer provided her money or her required messages.
I have most spiritual intimacy, emotional intimacy, creative intimacy, conflict intimacy. This video made me so grateful to have a wonderful husband that ill never find a man like him...
It is so true and love is sure possible without sex many don't realise that and it makes me happy that the message is spread because i am asexual and i am extremely scared that my relationships will break apart because of this
Since my separation I have been alone for more than three years. In all this time I had no intimacy of any kind at all. I learned to live with(out) it... but sometimes it hurts.
This was beautiful to watch. I absolutely love hugs but my deepest desires come from emotional intimacy. I love the fact that I can talk to someone without judgement and having someone else bear my load. And I can do the same with them!
I remember what is that :) Is important to have a place of yours and. your identity in real life, internet needs balance, there are brake thoughts and forms to crossover, yet there are many psychic suckers too where one must remain coherent to ones values. Nature and working toguether to what ones love is amazing to nourish others.
I watch my coworkers do this with one another and I realize I might be a weirdo who can't be intimate with my peers and can't develop relationships that way. Makes sense lol
I have all of these except the physical intimacy with my partner ❤️ Being long-distance means we don’t get to experience physical intimacy as often, which is fine with me. Soon we will experience it more 🥺
Same here -- second year of a long-distance relationship (but we did get quite a bit of physical intimacy on our first and so far our only date -- she's THE best hugger EVER!)
What's the difference between physical and sensual intimacy? Sensual just include physical from what i heard in the video. Same about emotional and spiritual.
@@JariahxSynn I understand. Been in and out of it, friend. Keep moving forward though. Look for a lesson, something calling out within to focus on and keep building yourself. Also, I recommend massage. It's normal for clients to come for just human contact, and helps with the oxytocin and bonding. 2x a month is optimal if possible. Don't fade away, you're here for a reason 💪🏻.
Can you do a video on thanatophobia (death anxiety), because I have it severely, but there is almost no videos on it, and the very few that do exist don't help or teach anything, and just say "we all die and can't control it, so you should just deal with it" which obviously doesn't help
I guess you guys are watching me cause I was thinking how I need to come back to therapy and I was thinking coming to work that I want to tell the therapist that I'm tired of the majority of people wanting superficial relationships and thinking I might sound too romantic or naive cause I want love. Wanting love and connection is not naive, IT'S HUMAN and I need to stop thinking I'm wrong for being the way I am (and to be honest I guess everyone - or the majority of people - wants love but they pretend they don't or they just try to live life in a detached way so they don't get hurt like they were in the past). I've been hurt by someone that I really loved and I understand why people shy away from trying a new relationship with new people, cause if it doesn't work and there is feelings, it will hurt a lot. I think we need to get used to get hurt if it's not reciprocate, cause we can say at least we tried, right? I'll stop talking, bye and thanks haha
I believe the same thing, everybody wants to be loved but i also believe that some people don’t really wanna think about it or put it a lot of importance cause some people have or feel that they have bigger problems or more important situations. Hola desde México
@@elplacoop7685 yes, I agree with what you said as well!!! Some people want more love than others, I would say 😅 Or it's just life phases, like you said, when they think they have more important things to do or solve. Oi from Brazil! 🤗✨
@@thesaddestdude3575 why if I use makeup I'm superficial? This doesn't make sense 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 If I want to feel pretty with makeup and create a painting in my face, I can do that. So if I use makeup I'm shallow, non interesting, SUPERFICIAL??
Personally, as the profound introvert that I am, I like ALMOST ALL these kinds of intimacy EXCEPT emotional (I actually WANT my relationships to NOT have emotional intimacy)!
For me, intimacy is fleeting. I could never establish a good relationship with anyone. The only loving bonds I have with a person is with my sister. Maybe it has something to do with childhood trauma. I've tried everything to overcome that but it still haunts me. Not even therapy helps. The best way to describe what my childhood was like is to say every kid liked "Punching bag" Every kid but me. Every time my mother sends me out to play every kid hollers "Punching bag! Then they gang up on me all at once. I was that punching bag. The story of my life. I had a very simular boy hood life like Fred Rodger's boy hood life I envy Fred Rodger. He has his own children's TV show which is one thing I could never have.
Hi Psych2go! I feel kinda lost in the extrovert and introverts thing... But i think I'm an omnivert but I'm not entirely sure, not forcing! Just wondering if you and your team could make a video of a few signs that you're an omnivert
It feels like I'm our pop culture rn it's like s*x is everything but I'm not a very sexual person and wouldn't feel comfortable in situations. What is out there doesn't resonate with me so I don't date.
Well it's too late for me. I'm already over relationships in general too many bad experiences and being with the wrong people and never being able to be with the person who I should've been with since the beginning but that's fine I'm over it now I'm happy being alone and single
Romantic love requires passion (see Sternberg's triangle). It's not the only form of intimacy. But, with an alleged romantic partner there should be lots of mutual affection in any respect. If that's not there, the relationship was transactional or fake. Only-Chads are loved (top 10% of males). All other are Only-Simps in one form or another.
Emotional intimacy is very important in a relationship.
Bro said important news
I agree 😊
Yes, I think so too. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Ohh
Yes Narc 🙂💗
Timestamps
1). Physical intimacy 0:35
2). Emotional intimacy 1:02
3). Experiential intimacy 1:31
4). Intellectual intimacy 2:08
5). Sensual intimacy 2:39
6). Spiritual intimacy 3:04
7). Conflict intimacy 3:36
8). Creative intimacy 4:13
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Thank you
@@user-zz4kf4lw8d not a problem
thanks!
thank youuu
“People think that intimacy is about sex.
But intimacy is about truth.
When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘You’re safe with me’-that’s intimacy.”
- Evelyn Hugo
God I love Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo, taught me so much about world
@kqttyvrbz6328 great book, I read it on a whim from a friend's recommendation and I loved it
I wish, its all about looks and power dynamics nowadays, nothing else.
you can do that with friends
Exactly
Physical Intimacy and Emotional Intimacy are the ones I think I’m missing. I just sometimes want to lay down and hug someone I trust. Nothing sexual related just for the feeling of comfort, safety and calming feeling And just let out what’s on my mind without any expectation of fixing something or getting help. I just want to sometimes just want to get things out of my mind by saying them.
You are me asriel!
Deep talk cuddling for the win 🏆
Can someone please hug this person 😊
Thats delusional. Try casual hookups like normal people do. Noone does intimicy anymore.
@@JoePAcalaughsbro 2006 called. They want their cuddling and intimicy back😂😂
I really appreciate that despite the fact people usually are hesitant to talk about certain topics, you still do talk about if necessary
This psychological content has helped me a bit over time, so I appreciate your channel
Thank you so much! Your comment has made our day and validated our work. Hope we can continue to help you over time when you need!
I wish I had at least one of these with someone.
I have emotional intimacy with a friend
Most likely you and i never will.
@@thesaddestdude3575 obviously, in 60-100 years of life you will never make any type of relationship. Stop being exaggerated.
@@Blue_Luigi yes not everyone will make relationships . i agree with him . some people like us will never. sooner we accept it the better it is for us
@@everengaged9370 mate, it’s statistically very unlikely you don’t make any type of relationship in your life. Besides, you probably have a relationship with your parents at least.
Relationships these days have become way too surface level and shallow. We have promoted for too long now that operating from a place of lust and bonding with people just because they are attractive. The issue with that is, you then start dating on hard mode, because your criteria for a "potential" partner, now becomes over saturated! You will find ALOT OF PEOPLE sexually alluring, but that doesn't mean you should act on it. Everything about their personality, emotional/psychological wellbeing, goals/life plans and hidden traumas that they may have, has to be taken into consideration.
If you do not become clear within what makes you happy or why you are even dating, you should probably not mess around with becoming bonded to people who serve no purpose in your life. It may seem very harmless to seek sexual intimacy, but in reality you play with fire questioning your decisions why you are bonded to someone you feel nothing for.
Yes! I agree with this! As someone who is demiromantic and demisexual, I literally can't feel any romantic or sexual feelings without a friendship already being present. Being both a double demi and an autistic woman, I once had an unrequited love trauma happen when I was 19 because the guy I met like immediately had a crush on me and was trying to push me towards a deeper level of intimacy than I was comfortable with. It was a mismatch, a horrible mismatch. 3 months later, I give him a simple hug and he thinks it's a sexual act and I was just in rage and immediately broke up with him over the phone and then cried. Ever since then, I've felt too much anxiety over the possibility of history repeating itself to even approach men to make friends with them, let alone date someone.
And yet, I do want to find a good husband. Someone who is honest, compassionate, understands that I need to take it slow and is patient enough to do so, and who likes me for who I am. It's like, I can't find that someone without making friends with men. And I can't make friends with men cause of my anxiety. And I have anxiety because of a past trauma from a severe mismatch on the romantic and sexual attraction spectrum. I'm doing well making friends with other women, but men, I feel like I just can't get beyond "Hi" and small talk and little friendly compliments like "I like your watch" and actually get to the phase of getting to know them as a person.
@@caterscarrots3407- First I want to acknowledge your openness about the situation when you were 19, and in your reality things were taken too far too quickly and it left a ever lasting mark on you. :)
I actually strongly agree with you that, your partner should feel like your best friend and a person who you can safely expose your subconscious ticks to without feeling judged, or in the fear of being abandoned if you do soo! I would hope to any woman in the past that felt comfortable with opening up to me can look at my today and know that I was always there for them and would never have brought them down.
I believe from what you wrote down, that you have a hidden fear of being let down again by a man and you are being very precautious and looking out for similar patterns repeating . It also appears that you realize that men "attach their ego" to their attachment and that treading carefully around which men you allow to even bond with you is crucial.
Men can be very sneaky when approaching woman with friendship and become attached. And since their ego's become attached to you as a friend, male friends can potentially manipulate situations for their own benefit, which has no bearing for what you truly want and desire.
It's also not fun for men to enter situations that have alot of harboring emotional men around, that you can sense there is contention.
@@caterscarrots3407 firstly, I want to acknowledge that you are on the right track to understanding what is holding you back! It would indeed be a very traumatizing situation when you are freshly into adulthood, with I presume at the time very little experience with men. The flow of the interactions you had back then, very out of tune, and left you with a polarizing experience.
I strongly agree with you, that the right person in life, should make you feel open and comfortable enough to share your subconscious ticks with and feel safe to be who you are. This alone will settle the anxiety because, that never ending voice you have in your head, could easily just be solved be a simple straight conversation with the person who you are with can make the world become so alive and vibrant.
As someone who has been a very hyper social person and got to know many personality types. I agree with your approach that your partner should be able to pass "the emotional" test that you would put a friend through, before sex would be involved. But, men unfortunately attach different then woman, we activate our "provider" mode when we become close to a woman and see similar values. It turns off our primate monkey brains and makes us care for you. So men can become attached way quicker, if were are around alot and feel a sense of being nurtured when we can help you with something.
Just be careful with how many men you allow into your life, because i first hand have experienced my most contentious moments in life, due to 3rd party men, who were subtly trying to manipulate situations that were not in the favor of the person who i was dating. It is not very fun as a men, entering these kinds of situations and having to deal with this sort of contention. To woman, it may feel like a safe friend and but to a new person trying to enter to your life, these men can become a big problem for you.
@@Vishfeast Yeah, I had basically zero experience with men at the time that the unrequited love trauma happened cause I was homeschooled from 5th grade up to the time that I went to college. And that was because I was bullied by what seemed like everyone in 4th grade and my mom knew how much it was affecting me and decided to pull me out of the public school system. And I never made friends in my childhood years. As such, I never had experience with meeting young boys, developing those feelings, going to prom, I never had that.
@@caterscarrots3407 well, all I can say is that I hope that you can find a way to forgive yourself for that that experience, you didn't do anything wrong but was mislead down a path of how a proper relationship should form. And you can find a way to become optimistic and courageous to overcome your fears that all men will create an negative situation like that again.
From what you also have presented, this experience may have pushed you a bit into the avoidant attachment realm, which essentially has programmed your brain to be triggered when a sense of ones "freedom" is in jeopardy and your sense of autonomy. This is something that can be worked on your part, to utilize your found experience with what happened when you were 19, and seek to find a partner that has a strong ability to "self soothe" his emotions. Finding this trait in a man, will put way less pressure on you and will hopefully help provide a safe place for you to open up to the feeling of love.
Sex is only a tiny fraction of the intimacy shared between people who love each other. Very little of a couple’s lives together revolves around sex, meaning the majority of our day is taken up by so many more important things that aren’t sex. I’ll never understand why it takes up *so much* headspace for certain types of people. 😅
Total strangers have sex all the time, and actual intimacy has very little to do with that interaction.
That word we keep using, I do not think it means what most people want it to mean. 😂
The definition of intimacy is as follows:
Intimacy
noun
1 close familiarity or friendship; closeness.
"the intimacy between a husband and wife"
2. private cozy atmosphere.
"the room had a peaceful sense of intimacy about it"
(And lastly it is used) Euphemistically
3. an intimate act, especially sexual intercourse.
I mean sexual intimacy is no "very little" by any means... How many relationships, not just casual couples but entire marriages had fallen apart for the lack of sexual fulfillment? I would say that a lot do, maybe not as often as for other reasons, but we cannot underestimate how many cases of cheating are related to having little to no physical intimacy at all.
Sexual intimacy, is just as important to a relationship than any other type, for some couple is *less* important, like those relationships in which partners sleep in separate beds or don't practice sex that often, which is fine and perfectly healthy as long as they share other types of activities together, BUT it can also be *more* important for other couples, like those couples that end up resolving their problems or at least calming their arguments and tension after a good intimate exchange.
Some people share the things they like (like music taste or favorite movies) as a way of showing love to their SO, to some others is just small talk.
Some people love more than anything else spending time doing any type of activity with their loved ones, even the most basic stuff like doing homework together, or walking the other person to their house even if it takes longer for themselves to be back at their home, for other people all of that is just friendly behavior.
And of course, for some people sexual activities and physical connection are the apex of love, care and passion, to the point of feeling like going back home to have 1 hour of intimacy with their partner is enough to overshadow an entire day of burdens and problems at work and day to day life, while for others is just another weekly couple activity in which they engage just because they were in the mood at the moment and that's it.
At the end of the day it should not be that hard to understand, everyone in the world has different ways to show and feel love and affection, so everyone values things differently. Sexual intimacy just happens to be the one more people is infatuated about because physical pleasure is easier to understand and as such to seek, I mean, for the big majority of the population (most likely everyone in the world) sexual awakening occurs waaaay before developing any sense of emotional intelligence, so for a big part of our lives, to some people their entire lives even, sex and physical intimacy is the only type of intimacy that we truly know about.
Sex is a very important component of a relationship. However, it is more important for some than others. Have you ever read "The five love languages?" It is my strongest love language. But like lots of pleasurable things, sex can become an obsession.
I'm literally going to bawl my eyes out, a year ago I couldn't have said this but I finally found someone with whom I have each type of intimacy. I feel like this channel definitely helped in some kind of way for me to get there so thanks ! :)
Thats cool, how much do you pay her to act nice towards you? And is it monthly pay or how does it workM
Asking because im genuinely curious if i can afford it
Bro let a dude be happy for once why you gotta bring the misery back here 😂
@@SpiderSwag720 lol I hope that guy gets better
@@valerioharvey7289no really, what is the pricetag on acting nice, Maybe even humane? And is it subscription service?
I just got into a new relationship, which is also my first relationship. This video helped me pick out things that I need to focus on. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
70% chance or more of falling apart.
@@thesaddestdude3575 real
@@thesaddestdude3575real
Thats cool, enjoy your 3 month trial of a nice relationship, before she breaks up with you!
I never knew there were so many types, but this makes sense!! Thank you for sharing! I think I crave emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and even conflict intimacy the most.
As an asexual, this video makes me so happy!
Legit, why I love it. I'm like, I hope anyone in a relationship with someone who is Ace will take notes
You are a starfish?
@@valerioharvey7289 why you gotta spread hate man
Am lucky that my bestie doesn't mind that I love them romantically, because most of these, I *also* experience with them. Heck; I realized that I was in love with them because they taught me about all these types of intimacy while talking about what people might be into aside from sex and attraction, and I felt most of these about them already.
Stop pronouncing your bestie as he or she is multiple humans.
You’re not as smart as you think you are. Check the Oxford dictionary. They can be used singularly.
@@Stankyl0saurus what part of my comment do you not understand?
@@anderstermansen130 I understand your comment completely. You're trying to correct someone who isn't even using english wrongly.
My previous relationship took a turn when me and a boyfriend assumed I wanted sex. He tried to convince me that sex is the essence of pure intimacy between couples. We were clashing ideas. I got scared when he got all touchy and forcing the idea into my body. Its not all bad actually, but he gave up when he saw me shaking and scared. I wanted was something else. A deep and meaningful togetherness/conversation. It all boils down to setting expectations first before assuming things. We all good. But we could not keep the relationship, so its a bittersweet end.
As a man, I've been told that all I ever want and think is sex. Any look, gesture or touch is assigned to be all about sex.
This has been going on since I was a young boy, years before I ever began to see anything attractive about girls.
Heck, my first accusation of "intent to rape" was when I was 12, from the same teacher who wrote in her reports that my physical development was a bit slow compared to classmates.
Reality is that I'm an introverted demi/sapio. Most people are not even potential mates to me. I don't want them in my space, I don't want them to touch me, I don't want to touch them.
Intellectual and emotional interaction can be nice though.
But I guess that my being sapio assigns sexual intent to every conversation I have with anyone, right? 🤣
Society really needs this conversation.
My being male does not make me a sex-crazed maniac.
thank you so much for reminding me that sex is not the most important things in a relationship. Instead it s those tiny tiny shared moments builded with trust and closeness that build up a happy life
love your channel^^
Everyone should know about the different types of intimacy. I feel like the word intimacy is unjustly only always associated to sex, but there is so much more to intimacy.
The only physical intimacy I've had is hugging a pillow to fall asleep
I immediately clicked on this video because I'm interested
How did the video go? Did you learn anything new? :)
@@Psych2go these videos are what people who want to better themselves need to hear. The less hardcore side of self improvement content. The more mental side
In conclusion the videos is awesome 😆
Why do you delete my response
@@anderstermansen130 Because all the responses I've seen from you reek strongly of sour grapes!
Wow. I just realized I never had any intimacy of sorta in my life.
As interesting as this video was, it was weird to learn that new bit of information lol
I need all of these man 😢
You say so, but you almost certainly just want superficial traits.
Go a few or some years without any intimicy or physical touch at all, and you will get used to it, as the loneliness wears you down.
I want all of these EXCEPT for emotional intimacy!
This video came at the right time depending of situation
Hope this video helps you! Let us know if there are any other topics you have in mind
When I watch these type of videos, I always think about the exact topic from the video, (Wow). What I am trying to say is that when you don't watch one of these vids, I always act differently from when I watch this. '''This makes it kinda hard to 'convince' myself to remember thinking to myself that I ever thought that way, (if this sentence makes sense).'''
Spiritual intimacy is a very strong one if you can make it work!
Can you please clarify what exactly is spiritual intimacy? Because the video was less than clear about this one! Does it require any kind of religious or other transcendental beliefs, or can it be 100% secular?
15 Years, I tried to build each of these kinds of Intimacy. Like everything in her life, it was only about her and her ability to fake interest in me lasted 2 weeks. After 2 weeks, she no longer even faked a give and take situation by wandering out of the room a minute or so after it no longer focused on her. Of no surprise, when I got sick, she left shortly there after. It was no longer about her, there was no built up Intimacy, and I no longer provided her money or her required messages.
I have most spiritual intimacy, emotional intimacy, creative intimacy, conflict intimacy. This video made me so grateful to have a wonderful husband that ill never find a man like him...
Timestamps of each Intimacy
1. 0:35 - Physical
2. 1:03 - Emocional
3. 1:32 - Experential
4. 2:09 - Intellectual
5. 2:41 - Sensual
6. 3:05 - Spiritual
7. 3:37 - Conflict
8. 3:39 - Creative
Have a good day!
8 is at 4:13 u messed up the timestamp
I have a question.
Would any of these still apply if I was aromatic and asexual and only interested in friendships???
Absolutely! These different types of intimacy can be brought about by friendships, as well as squishes, if you do that.
@@Hunter-dy2xy ok!!
It is so true and love is sure possible without sex many don't realise that and it makes me happy that the message is spread because i am asexual and i am extremely scared that my relationships will break apart because of this
conflict intimacy was so new for me to learn thanks alot, now i understand y i get into fights and solve them with hugs instead of more fights 😍😍
I love psych2go ❤ I wanna be a psychiatrist when I grow up and I'm learning so much from your channel ❤❤
Since my separation I have been alone for more than three years. In all this time I had no intimacy of any kind at all. I learned to live with(out) it... but sometimes it hurts.
I have lived almost 30 years without it, i was born in it, molded by it.
Aww only 3 years, thats cute😂
Wonderful video, I had no idea there were so many types of intimacy, and all seem important and nourishing for the soul.
Yeah I ain’t getting none of this, thanks for the reminder tho
Seeing this, all I'm thinking about is my friends and I'm grateful for them❤
This was beautiful to watch. I absolutely love hugs but my deepest desires come from emotional intimacy. I love the fact that I can talk to someone without judgement and having someone else bear my load. And I can do the same with them!
Very true...
Came here being proud that I know this stuff... I knew the first two types lol. Glad I clicked on this!
it fustrates me that all my delusions are explained in this video when ive been lonely my whole life
Just curios, how do you make your videos ?
Unfortunately I must find someone I can trust before I can start spending time with them 😂
Conflict intimacy???? Wow! It blew my head out!
You're doing god's work peopel of this channel! Helping people realize our potential for experiencing relationships
Emotional and Eperiential intimacy is things I had. Intellectual I have but it never ends well. And I never really had any of the other.
I finally understand something. when that girl spoke I didn't understand
I remember what is that :)
Is important to have a place of yours and. your identity in real life, internet needs balance, there are brake thoughts and forms to crossover, yet there are many psychic suckers too where one must remain coherent to ones values. Nature and working toguether to what ones love is amazing to nourish others.
Not gonna cap these are great insights and I use them to ship characters……. 🎉
I'm single forever because it's better. Why am I watching this?
I watch my coworkers do this with one another and I realize I might be a weirdo who can't be intimate with my peers and can't develop relationships that way. Makes sense lol
Because of the s E x in the title?
Agreed, I love you, Psy. ❤
Thank you! It means a lot! ❤️
Just started this channel and loving it
Hi Rufus!!
Yup by the end of my marriage, there were none of these.
I could sense what connections with her I had falling away or no longer being there
Thank u for this!!!!!
I have all of these except the physical intimacy with my partner ❤️ Being long-distance means we don’t get to experience physical intimacy as often, which is fine with me. Soon we will experience it more 🥺
Same here -- second year of a long-distance relationship (but we did get quite a bit of physical intimacy on our first and so far our only date -- she's THE best hugger EVER!)
I can't get any of these since I've been single for 28 years of my life. Its almost impossible to get like a house in "modern" times
i miss my ex
I don't miss my ex, I miss the intimacy we shared
Same 😔
Honestly ? Same.
Whats an ex?
She doesn't miss you.
Important content ❤
What's the difference between physical and sensual intimacy? Sensual just include physical from what i heard in the video.
Same about emotional and spiritual.
I only knew of emotional and physical intimacy😢😮
I love this. Thank you so much for spicing up my love life with my gf.
Wow. That all sounds so nice.
As an asexual that isn't aromantic this video warms my heart.
❤I agree this list is true and amazing another great video
Boy that background song takes me back 😂
Yup, im completely ded inside, I've never had any of these. Better to fade away alone than with prople faking it i guess.
Nope. Use the time to become the best you, and the right intimacy will show up.
@@JoePAcalaughs Nice optimism but reality is often disappointing.
@@JariahxSynn I understand. Been in and out of it, friend. Keep moving forward though. Look for a lesson, something calling out within to focus on and keep building yourself. Also, I recommend massage. It's normal for clients to come for just human contact, and helps with the oxytocin and bonding. 2x a month is optimal if possible. Don't fade away, you're here for a reason 💪🏻.
Don't feel like that .❤ It will be okay. What's for you and who is for you will come.
This was very interesting. Very well explained and analyzed. 😊
Rufus rugs!!!!!!!!
I knew it, I'm not the only one that noticed!!!!!
I get 0/8
I love these videos very helpful😁❤️
Intimacy is “in to me, I see”
I'm experiencing this with the guy I'm talking to
Hi
Thank youu
My parents have definitely mastered conflict intimacy 😂
That is why i preferred cuddling over secs Not like i didnt want to but feeling her warmth on my embrace was far better.
Welp, not until school started and I got cheated on. Haha.
Oh now I know that my relations are really good and deep. Nice.
Can you do a video on thanatophobia (death anxiety), because I have it severely, but there is almost no videos on it, and the very few that do exist don't help or teach anything, and just say "we all die and can't control it, so you should just deal with it" which obviously doesn't help
that voice is so good for va
I guess you guys are watching me cause I was thinking how I need to come back to therapy and I was thinking coming to work that I want to tell the therapist that I'm tired of the majority of people wanting superficial relationships and thinking I might sound too romantic or naive cause I want love. Wanting love and connection is not naive, IT'S HUMAN and I need to stop thinking I'm wrong for being the way I am (and to be honest I guess everyone - or the majority of people - wants love but they pretend they don't or they just try to live life in a detached way so they don't get hurt like they were in the past). I've been hurt by someone that I really loved and I understand why people shy away from trying a new relationship with new people, cause if it doesn't work and there is feelings, it will hurt a lot. I think we need to get used to get hurt if it's not reciprocate, cause we can say at least we tried, right? I'll stop talking, bye and thanks haha
I believe the same thing, everybody wants to be loved but i also believe that some people don’t really wanna think about it or put it a lot of importance cause some people have or feel that they have bigger problems or more important situations.
Hola desde México
@@elplacoop7685 yes, I agree with what you said as well!!! Some people want more love than others, I would say 😅 Or it's just life phases, like you said, when they think they have more important things to do or solve. Oi from Brazil! 🤗✨
You say you hate superficiality but you have yourself in the avatar with makeup...hmmmm
@@thesaddestdude3575 why if I use makeup I'm superficial? This doesn't make sense 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 If I want to feel pretty with makeup and create a painting in my face, I can do that. So if I use makeup I'm shallow, non interesting, SUPERFICIAL??
@@ingrid5944 Yes. Well maybe not un interesting. But you are superficial.
Wow. I just found out I have a perfect relationship with my girlfriend. Time to buy a ring I suppose.
Can you please make a video on how to see if you, yourself, love someone without realizing it?
I think they have a video of this sort!
Well, with those 8 forms of intimacy, I'll try it in my wedding engagement and throughout my future marriage with my fiance. Thanks Psych2Go😊.
Thank you
I already know I’ll never experience any of these in my life because nobody cares or will ever care about me
Sit comfortably next to someone without clinging, just at your side. Quiet
Any type would be great at this point.
Hope this help you!
Oh this is a new video
Personally, as the profound introvert that I am, I like ALMOST ALL these kinds of intimacy EXCEPT emotional (I actually WANT my relationships to NOT have emotional intimacy)!
I'm single and still watches this
For me, intimacy is fleeting. I could never establish a good relationship with anyone. The only loving bonds I have with a person is with my sister. Maybe it has something to do with childhood trauma. I've tried everything to overcome that but it still haunts me. Not even therapy helps. The best way to describe what my childhood was like is to say every kid liked "Punching bag" Every kid but me. Every time my mother sends me out to play every kid hollers "Punching bag! Then they gang up on me all at once. I was that punching bag. The story of my life. I had a very simular boy hood life like Fred Rodger's boy hood life I envy Fred Rodger. He has his own children's TV show which is one thing I could never have.
So what does it mean if you have all these forms of intimacy but no s3x?
Hi Psych2go! I feel kinda lost in the extrovert and introverts thing... But i think I'm an omnivert but I'm not entirely sure, not forcing! Just wondering if you and your team could make a video of a few signs that you're an omnivert
Drake and Kendrick got some strong conflict intimacy
It feels like I'm our pop culture rn it's like s*x is everything but I'm not a very sexual person and wouldn't feel comfortable in situations. What is out there doesn't resonate with me so I don't date.
My gf said i need to be more spontainous about my physical intamcy
Well it's too late for me. I'm already over relationships in general too many bad experiences and being with the wrong people and never being able to be with the person who I should've been with since the beginning but that's fine I'm over it now I'm happy being alone and single
S
H
@@KelBetterBorgorE
as Gambito said "Some things be deeper than skin"
Romantic love requires passion (see Sternberg's triangle). It's not the only form of intimacy. But, with an alleged romantic partner there should be lots of mutual affection in any respect. If that's not there, the relationship was transactional or fake. Only-Chads are loved (top 10% of males). All other are Only-Simps in one form or another.
Why did I click on this so fast 🗿