Whether we like it or not, life -- in its particulars -- is often a zero-sum game. In order to get what you want, it is often the case that no one else can have it. And getting what you want typically involves winning out against your competition. As a general rule, overpaying is the cost of winning: you will need to give more than anyone else in order to secure the desired good. One of the unintended consequences of this is that getting what you want tends to be disappointing. This is because -- in order to win any particular good -- you likely had to pay more than that good was worth. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #winner #success
Lets talk in plain terms. Young women have all the sexual attention because men want more sex and our culture approves casual sex. Meanwhile, older women feel invisible. Men have to compete a lot and young men tend get very little. Our culture is imbalanced in so many ways. Frankly, looking at this imbalance makes me root for monogamy and abstinence until marriage. No kidding. I am not even religious.
All I ever wanted was to launch space rockets. I am still trying to accomplish this. I am 52-years old. But in my efforts to do just what I liked to do, I was forced to lose a lot but was also able to accomplish a lot. I was forced to get involved in political intrigue and I can claim that I have helped cancel a couple, or more, of wars. So, yes, I have suffered a lot just to be able to launch space rockets at some time in my life, but my efforts have already made me do things that virtually everybody else, only watches on films or reads in novels.
In analogy of the car -- Owning the car is not our goal. Our goal is to go on journey around the world driving the car to see Pyramid of Giza or the Great Wall. Then at the end of journey, we will happily claim that we do the journey with that car. So bid the price for a car but know that owning it is not our goal, else we will feel that the car is overpriced.
It isn’t the destination, it’s the journey. We don’t become happy by getting what we want. We become happy when we become the man who is capable of getting what we want.
@@markslist1542 not necessarily. It’s good to have a goal or a want, just realize that that goal won’t be as satisfying once you get it. Like a child wanting a toy, once he gets it he will move on after a time and want a new one. The goal won’t bring lasting happiness, only momentary happiness.
@@mitthrawnuruodo1730but that difference between and adults. Some adults learn to attain or win things that are worth while in the long term. Yes you still attain things for short term use. But the wisdom is knowing the difference and how much you willing and able to for so you can minimize having buyers remorse or getting something that will make your life worse. Ahaaa!!
I started a company from nothing and grew it to $100 million/year. I never expected friends and even family members to be so toxically envious. My younger sibling actually refuses to communicate with me and it’s torn our family apart at the end of our parents’ lives. Those buddies you used to run with and chase women at the pub? They won’t return your calls. Yeah, I drive a nicer car now, but I’m still the same guy, yet others change. I have a new understanding of why they say it’s lonely at the top. Happy to be an early subscriber to what I found to be the most resourceful channel on TH-cam. Lots of new things learned, but also love the occasional feeling of validation “holy shit… exactly!” There is an additional level of credibility and fidelity in that the good doctor resists the temptation of paid advertising. Thanks, Dr. O
Be proud of you. Im trying to unlock myself from some traumas to achieve atleast 15% of what you achieved. Trust me, even if you have average succes and not become super rich, people are envious and depart from life. Congratz and i”m more than sure you will meet people more alligned with yourself
I've been watching TH-cam since its inception over 20 years ago. This is the first video I've ever contributed to financially. This is the story of life. Not the goal, but who you become. That's why I will never play the lottery. If want to become a millionaire, I need to be willing to go on the journey of becoming the person who is a millionaire. I need to face my fears, doubts, insecurities, bad habits, lack of discipline and focus, risk intolerance, time management, unwillingness to question my limiting beliefs, everything. Bravo. One more thing I will add. The reason I contributed financially? He asked. He has the willingness to ask to be compensated for the value he provided. And he got it. Another life lesson, you have to be willing to ask for what you want.
I had an Indian boss once many years ago who said the key to being happy is controlling what you want. If something you want is going to cost you your free time, your hobbies, your relationships, access to you family, maybe your sanity, maybe you should think harder about exactly why you want it in the first place.
Hence why I don't overpay for stuff. If you do a cost-benefit analysis and the cost was too high for what you are trying to get, find cheaper options. If there are no cheaper options in the market then you have two choices - either overpay or go without. The choice is yours. ✝
My philosophy teacher told us once: you have always the third option - to not make any choice. As the life means dynamic and death means static if you choose to not make any choice then you will die. Because to keep yourself alive you have to make the right choices.
I ask that you rewatch the video from 8:30 and take a second to infuse this information into your subconscious. You understand you just admitted to yourself and the world. You don’t have what it takes to “Win”. Hence why he says “To win, you must be willing to do what your competitors aren’t” this by doing so the transformation has began. What you get by trying to Win isn’t the goods/fruit of your labor, it a the process and lessons you learned while getting there (The alchemist is a great book that goes into this) Don’t give up on your dream just yet, trust me it’s worth it. For some people such as myself taking the cheaper option ISN’T an option. My standards are too high.
@@ceon1347 Oh no, I do have what it takes to win, I'm just not going to pay stupid prices for stupid prizes. It's like marrying a woman that you know has slept around, she's going to expect you to give her the world while she gives you nothing in return. Not worth it.
@@ceon1347 If I'm doing the competition for the sake of "learning" then that's literally no different how women think. How so? Because women win by sleeping with men that are winners and THAT is what Winning is to women. The problem is that Winning comes with a price and it is a stupid price to pay.
I didn't expect such a life lesson. It was the newest thing I've ever learned. I always had this mentality that I should find a way to do the least effort to gain the optimal or acceptable result. That didn't get me anywhere. You have to be passionate enough to be willing to put in more effort than anyone else. If you're not overpaying it only means you don't love it that much or you're just ignorant.
I can tell you from experience putting the most effort in and exceeding the competition doesn't get you anywhere either. It's more about putting whatever effort you're putting in, into the right things, rather than the wrong things. 10÷ effort on the correct thing will carry you much further than 100÷ effort on the 'incorrect' thing. Don't let loyalty get in the way, the other party will never ever be loyal to you. That's what I've learnt.
The competition exist to extract the highest possible yield out of the population. Succeeding in the competition is not your personal victory. Someone always wins the game but it's never the player.
you are fulling yourself if you think you can put more effort than anyone else. Today everyone of us struggles against established deep-pocketed corporate players. You have no chance against them, even if you have a 1000 lives, coz they can buy these lives and experience with them. Today you overpay with money, actually it is them who do that do keep everyone else under their foot ... Sport is a simple example of ... what everything else in life is not! If fight was one against one, Putin would be fighting Zelensky, rather than 2 million Russians agaist 500 k Ukrainians ...
This describes my youth precisely. I was driven by the next goal, achievement, or possession. There was no limit to what I would sacrifice in time, energy, and resources to fulfill my next WANT. And pretty much every time I succeeded I immediately felt disappointed. Oh well, on to the next WANT! I've found that the best way for me os to stop or reduce my WANT. The most valuable things or people in my life that bring me the most joy, were free or cost me very little. I've found this to be a much more fulfilling way to live...
Same here, that is because when we are young the hormones blind us to pursue achievements at any cost. It is rare for a young person to realize what is going on
If chasing things provides you with meaning and purpose in the moment than it's a good thing. Meaning is subjective after all. You can derive meaning from getting good in chess, or making money or helping people, or spending time with family. Whatever floats your boat, God is dead.@@Daniel-ef7nk
I hypothesize that now you can say that since you have achieved a level of success. I posit that if you had not had reached the level of success, you may have not been in the position which afforded you those relationships you so much cherish.
This is 100% true. Any and every time I have every "won" big, it came at an enormous cost: time, friends, a few family members, money and even some of my health. Just the way it is.
This might be the best video for high achievers ever made. The reward for winning is the journey and work required to achieve; not the outcome (although this can be marginally satisfying also).
Maybe, but once you have money and status, then you'll realize how shallow they are as an ends (in and of themselves). However, what you had to go through and who you become in the process of achieving these things is what is truly valuable...and rewarding. If you took all of Elon Musk's money today, does anyone NOT think that within a decade, he'd have most of it all back?
@@beaucannington6448 IT is only satisfying to become really good at something if you do what you like the most, but that is not the norm in our society, most people do things they either don't like or would rather not do without the money or status motivation, so most workaholics are desperate to achieve money and status.
@@beaucannington6448 The majority of Musk's success and achivements were not realized by overpaying to "win". In fact, his biggest failure was "winning" by overpaying for Twitter. I am quite sure that his "journey" with Twitter is something he regrets.
"Before we desire anything too much.....we ought to consider how happy those are who already have it." Paraphrased from philosopher La Rochefoucauld. Paradox, truth.
After having gone through this for the last 15 years, I can say, it has been worth it...for me at least. I just had this conversation with someone more or less just starting out in life. I am now at a stage where I can be personally serviced in every way without leaving the comforts of my home and where my home is literally more comfortable and well equipped than any top 5-star hotel or resort. I have peace of mind. I can actually work less. I can decide when and what I work on. It's worth it.
I’m with you on this. Following my passion to financial freedom has been both the most exhausting and rewarding experience of my life and I wouldn’t change it for a thing. Now to find my next passion because the journey never ends.
This is only true if you chase things everyone wants. If you bet on things early before they're cool and build them into something everyone wants, you get something quite valuable at rock bottom prices. And even if you don't you have a great story to tell
He explains that of course this is a good strategey, as he realized with his house purchase, but that at the time, relative to the market, you still must overpay, even if it's a wise investment.
In terms of relationships, the "overpaying" is true in the scenarios where one party doesn't have much interest, and the other "overcompensates" to win them over. A lot of times, it's the man chasing a woman who is out of his league, or just not interested in him on a personal level. I used to feel bad for guys who put themselves in that "pursuer" position that seems demeaning, but perhaps it can give them a massive motivation to improve themselves. I still think that the best scenarios are when the two people make simultaneous and visible steps towards building the relationship. Then, neither one overpays.
The idea that one pursues goals because to achieve them necessitates a self-transformative process that is really more rewarding than achieving the initial goal is brilliant and true.
this is the best explanation on the web about why it is most important to value the process over the destination... the only value isn't in the moment of being acknowledged as a winner/champion but is in the alchemy of reaching one's highest potential after all the sacrifice/dedication/overpaying
I love this video. There is a cold hard truth to what he says, especially for a sensitive/creative type like myself, but this message is someone everyone needs to hear. And yes, it is possible to be happy by deciding certain things cost too much. I think that’s much of our society today, productive, happy, good parents, family, etc. all referred to as “stable”, which is what most people really want. But to stand out, really make a difference, yes, overpaying is required. Great video, great message to start 2024
100% truth. I'm happy this video came out today, as I was explaining the exact same concept to a friend of mine. I'm saving to buy an expensive luxury item. It's not the item itself, but how saving for it has caused me to become more disciplined and practice delayed gratification.
I came to this conclusion long ago. And I went for the last option, being content with what i have, knowing I'm better off than probably 80% of folks out there. It's a game of diminishing returns.
Right on! After being a poor musician all my life, I became rich by cleaning toilets. Literally. Having a large AirBnb business meant cleaning a 30 room "hotel" for 5 hours, every day, for years.On top of taking care of al other aspects of the business.Yes, it was worth it, but almost cost me my life.Still worth it.
I invested and dedicated 5 years of regular practice in becoming good with women. That meant approaching at least 3 to 5 women a day at least three times a week, supplemented by approaching when I felt attracted to a woman on my way to work and other occasions. This led to 1000s of approaches and interactions with women, hundreds of dates and a few relationships along the way which were quite educative. These interactions happened in different countries across Europe. So it was also quite an international experience. The outcome is a version of myself that is more confident, grounded, self-assured and resilient to difficulties and challenges given by our environment. It was a transformative journey which made me wiser, more humble and better understanding of what is attractive to me and what is attractive to women. And finally, I am now in a healthy, nurturing relationship with a woman I love. And I am looking forward to even more growth, as a relationship is simply the next chapter of our journey to grow as a person. The reward is having lived a fulfilling life with a feeling of contentment when looking back at it on our deathbed.
When the Internet came out, people were very slow to understand that the impact of the Internet and global connectedness was that we would increasingly come to live in a “winner take most” society where only the top two or three companies get most of the market share. We’ve now come to live in a world where we are not just connected commercially, but interpersonally as well, and COVID accelerated that. This video is absolutely essential in understanding that fact. The importance of this video cannot be overstated. It’s so important, in fact, I considered writing an entire book about it, and asked ChatGPT to write an outline for me, and come up with titles for such a book. However, the creator of this channel came up with the concept, so I feel it’s only right to share this information with him. This video warrants an entire book. I hope he writes it… 1. Introduction: Introduce the concept of ‘overpaying’ in various aspects of life due to globalization and technological advancements. Explain how the book will explore these themes 2. Historical Context: Discuss the evolution of market dynamics and social interactions pre-internet era versus the digital age. Highlight key technological and societal shifts. 3. Economic Theory and Winner-Takes-Most Markets: Analyze how globalization and digital platforms have led to a few dominant players in various sectors. Discuss economic theories that support this phenomenon. 4. The Personal Cost in Professional Life: Explore the idea of ‘overqualifying’ oneself for jobs and the increasing expectations in the professional sphere. Include real-world examples and interviews. 5. The Real Estate Market Dynamics: Delve into how the real estate market exemplifies this concept, with people often paying more than the market value in competitive scenarios. 6. Interpersonal Relationships in a Connected World: Analyze how the dynamics of dating and relationships have changed. Discuss the concept of ‘overpaying’ in emotional, financial, or effort terms. 7. Psychological Impact: Explore the psychological effects of living in a society where overpaying is often necessary for success. 8. Global Perspective: Provide a global view, comparing different cultures and societies in terms of how they adapt to or resist these trends. 9. Coping Mechanisms and Strategies: Offer advice on navigating these challenges without compromising personal values and well-being. 10. Future Outlook: Speculate on future trends and how emerging technologies like AI might influence this phenomenon. 11. Conclusion: Summarize the key insights and leave the reader with thought-provoking questions or action points. And here are some suggested titles: 1. “The Overpayment Effect: Navigating Success in a Winner-Takes-Most World” 2. “Paying More to Win: The Hidden Costs of Success in the Digital Age” 3. “Beyond the Price Tag: The New Rules of Winning in Work, Love, and Life” 4. “The High Cost of Winning: Overpaying in a Globalized Society” 5. “The Overbid Society: Understanding the Real Price of Success” 6. “Exceeding the Bar: How We Pay More in the Age of Globalization” 7. “Winning at a Premium: The Unseen Costs of Success in Modern Times” It seems to me that the key for success in the future will be increasing specialization. What we each ought to do is assess what we value most and then realize that we must not only pay what’s required, but we will pay more than what’s required because there’s a non-economic payoff to us for whatever the thing is - a price that most others won’t pay. It’s in those specific idiosyncratic scenarios where we are likely to win. The days of being a balanced, well-rounded individual and succeeding on all fronts is over.
I think I can highly relate on that: I've been renovating an apartment for nearly 2years all by myself at 28yo, with almost no knowledges or previous experiences in that matter. While it was very fun and pleasing to imagine the renovation, how to organize rooms and make it the best version possible, being at the end of this massive commitment of 2years makes me feel almost as "was all of this really worth it?" Like it's supposed to be the most pleasant part of the renovation when you finally hit the point when you are building the kitchen, bathrooms and making the last finish touches, but i'm like so bored of everything and it makes me want to rush it to just end this experience right now. And so ofc the cost of having a fully renovated apartment in the idea i wanted it to be, had been mentally, physically tested all through it, up and downs like crazy, constant battles with yourself doing things you dont wanna do but you know you have to cause no one else will, to embrace discipline and get rid of "motivational" boost cause it's never as effective as being disciplined. I've come to realize with your video than even if i should be content with this journey and finally touching the result of what i imagined for so long, I should be even more content with myself for sticking with my discipline day after day, going at it sick, tired, unmotivated. It teached me that perfection is not impossible but it requires so much conditions and attention on a daily basis to not fck it up. I do feel like a more complete man now than I was 2years ago, being that swissknife asset, and useful which my father always preached us to be. I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and thanks to your video I may be more gentle with myself, I guess self love for men is a long and painful process but only us can truly make it progress
Perfection is unattainable. Perfectionism will trip you up every time. You’ll be the only one aware of every imperfection in your finished apartment. The solution is in your own mind. Good enough is called that for a reason. The best is the enemy of the good.
My goal isn't to be the best at anything. I inherently despise competitive goals that require somebody else to lose so that I can win. My goal is to be a better version of myself tomorrow than I was yesterday. That is an attainable goal, and it doesn't take anything away from anybody else.
Love this video! So true! And there’s a corollary - those not willing to overpay are very annoyed at those who do. They will often call them “maniacal” or “working too much is not good for your health”, or “just be natural”…
This is one of your best videos! I'm so glad you put this out I hope it sobers, and re-sobers people up. Thank you! Success is paid for up front. It's like generating the cash on hand for something in the material world.
In dating a woman should be sacrificing everything for you if she's going to be worth keeping because you'll likely have a protective instinct in you that will get you to risk everything for her.
The way you navigated through this topic is amazing. The transition from one concept to the another, it's simply unmatched. You are one among the best doctor.
Aspirational regret was something i heard mentioned on a tv show not long ago. When you finally achieve or acquire something youve always wanted and are disappointed that it isnt all you hoped it would be. Great video
Very similar to the gym. If your only goal is to become more attractive - chances are, the difference won't be big enough to compensate for the hundreds of hours spent (if not thousands) and thousands of $ on nutrition, personal trailer, supplements, etc. But if you think of it as a big journey, a transformation of your whole person (your physique, your mindset, motivation, endurance and will power) - then it is great. And any other benefits that come with that, such as women and general admiration from others - are just a side effect / a cherry on top.
One of the deepest talks you have ever given in my opinion: This point about the object given in winning is not the end goal but a reward along the way is right on the button.
Super well said! I’ve been listening to Alex Hermozi and he says it when it comes to working on a business. The job “works on you more than you work on it”. Same idea that it’s about growing into the person that can achieve a very successful business…not just having the business.
Being aware that there is a trap is the first step in avoiding it. Before undertaking a costly effort, a wise individual should first discern if the juice is worth the squeeze.
Well said. I couldn’t agree more. Those times I have settled for something less than what I really wanted, I was not happy. I had rather just do without.
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Whether we like it or not, life -- in its particulars -- is often a zero-sum game. In order to get what you want, it is often the case that no one else can have it. And getting what you want typically involves winning out against your competition. As a general rule, overpaying is the cost of winning: you will need to give more than anyone else in order to secure the desired good. One of the unintended consequences of this is that getting what you want tends to be disappointing. This is because -- in order to win any particular good -- you likely had to pay more than that good was worth.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #winner #success
Lets talk in plain terms. Young women have all the sexual attention because men want more sex and our culture approves casual sex. Meanwhile, older women feel invisible. Men have to compete a lot and young men tend get very little. Our culture is imbalanced in so many ways. Frankly, looking at this imbalance makes me root for monogamy and abstinence until marriage. No kidding. I am not even religious.
All I ever wanted was to launch space rockets. I am still trying to accomplish this. I am 52-years old. But in my efforts to do just what I liked to do, I was forced to lose a lot but was also able to accomplish a lot. I was forced to get involved in political intrigue and I can claim that I have helped cancel a couple, or more, of wars. So, yes, I have suffered a lot just to be able to launch space rockets at some time in my life, but my efforts have already made me do things that virtually everybody else, only watches on films or reads in novels.
In analogy of the car -- Owning the car is not our goal. Our goal is to go on journey around the world driving the car to see Pyramid of Giza or the Great Wall. Then at the end of journey, we will happily claim that we do the journey with that car.
So bid the price for a car but know that owning it is not our goal, else we will feel that the car is overpriced.
@@aristeidislykas7163not worth it to me. However everyone can get that same feeling that inspired you, but for a different reason.
You have very solid ideas! 💪🏾
It isn’t the destination, it’s the journey. We don’t become happy by getting what we want. We become happy when we become the man who is capable of getting what we want.
That entails wondering around endlessly. Better to stay away from the clichés.
@@markslist1542 not necessarily. It’s good to have a goal or a want, just realize that that goal won’t be as satisfying once you get it. Like a child wanting a toy, once he gets it he will move on after a time and want a new one. The goal won’t bring lasting happiness, only momentary happiness.
Happiness is found not by having all that you want, but by wanting all that you have.
@@mitthrawnuruodo1730but that difference between and adults. Some adults learn to attain or win things that are worth while in the long term. Yes you still attain things for short term use. But the wisdom is knowing the difference and how much you willing and able to for so you can minimize having buyers remorse or getting something that will make your life worse. Ahaaa!!
women don't think like men & vice-versa. What you value as a man may have NO value whatsoever to a woman.
I started a company from nothing and grew it to $100 million/year. I never expected friends and even family members to be so toxically envious. My younger sibling actually refuses to communicate with me and it’s torn our family apart at the end of our parents’ lives. Those buddies you used to run with and chase women at the pub? They won’t return your calls. Yeah, I drive a nicer car now, but I’m still the same guy, yet others change. I have a new understanding of why they say it’s lonely at the top. Happy to be an early subscriber to what I found to be the most resourceful channel on TH-cam. Lots of new things learned, but also love the occasional feeling of validation “holy shit… exactly!” There is an additional level of credibility and fidelity in that the good doctor resists the temptation of paid advertising.
Thanks, Dr. O
is there any chance you have an opening in your company for a tech role?
I will be your friend. And I won't ask for money 👍
I’m sorry that happened. Maybe you need to level up and find friends that are in your league?
Yes this is another hidden cost of success, now find new buddies and do not act like you're rich.
Be proud of you. Im trying to unlock myself from some traumas to achieve atleast 15% of what you achieved. Trust me, even if you have average succes and not become super rich, people are envious and depart from life.
Congratz and i”m more than sure you will meet people more alligned with yourself
"You must choose between the pain of discipline or the pain of regret."
"You can either have instant gratification or constant gratification."
That last line just changed my entire perception of life. Thank you for sharing. 😲
That's deep
I've been watching TH-cam since its inception over 20 years ago. This is the first video I've ever contributed to financially. This is the story of life. Not the goal, but who you become. That's why I will never play the lottery. If want to become a millionaire, I need to be willing to go on the journey of becoming the person who is a millionaire. I need to face my fears, doubts, insecurities, bad habits, lack of discipline and focus, risk intolerance, time management, unwillingness to question my limiting beliefs, everything. Bravo.
One more thing I will add. The reason I contributed financially? He asked. He has the willingness to ask to be compensated for the value he provided. And he got it. Another life lesson, you have to be willing to ask for what you want.
Well said ✊🏾✊🏾
I like your attitude....thanks for sharing
Lol TH-cam came in 2005. So you are lying that 'over 20 years' thing.
@@droid675919 years lol. Why be such a dick? U know what he’s trying to say.
@@droid6759you must be fun at parties 🎉😂
I had an Indian boss once many years ago who said the key to being happy is controlling what you want. If something you want is going to cost you your free time, your hobbies, your relationships, access to you family, maybe your sanity, maybe you should think harder about exactly why you want it in the first place.
Saves that. Thank you 🙏
Buddist teaching "Desires are the root cause of all suffering"
Have less desires , be more blissful
Out of all the languages Orion could've spoken, he chose to speak facts.
🙄
Agree… It’s amusing to watch all the people with ulterior motives, hidden agendas and vested interests, how allergic to facts they are;-)!
Who?
He woke up and chose war. Because peace was never an option.
"It is a shame for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable."
-Socrates
Your 10 min content better then self help books, I appreciate your effort men! thanks for your content.
“The best things in life are for free, the second best are very expensive “
Hence why I don't overpay for stuff. If you do a cost-benefit analysis and the cost was too high for what you are trying to get, find cheaper options. If there are no cheaper options in the market then you have two choices - either overpay or go without. The choice is yours. ✝
My philosophy teacher told us once: you have always the third option - to not make any choice. As the life means dynamic and death means static if you choose to not make any choice then you will die. Because to keep yourself alive you have to make the right choices.
I ask that you rewatch the video from 8:30 and take a second to infuse this information into your subconscious.
You understand you just admitted to yourself and the world. You don’t have what it takes to “Win”.
Hence why he says “To win, you must be willing to do what your competitors aren’t” this by doing so the transformation has began.
What you get by trying to Win isn’t the goods/fruit of your labor, it a the process and lessons you learned while getting there (The alchemist is a great book that goes into this)
Don’t give up on your dream just yet, trust me it’s worth it. For some people such as myself taking the cheaper option ISN’T an option. My standards are too high.
@@ceon1347 Oh no, I do have what it takes to win, I'm just not going to pay stupid prices for stupid prizes. It's like marrying a woman that you know has slept around, she's going to expect you to give her the world while she gives you nothing in return. Not worth it.
@@ceon1347 If I'm doing the competition for the sake of "learning" then that's literally no different how women think. How so? Because women win by sleeping with men that are winners and THAT is what Winning is to women. The problem is that Winning comes with a price and it is a stupid price to pay.
@@angrydragon4574 I’m sorry you feel that way. I was just trying to show you a different perspective
I didn't expect such a life lesson. It was the newest thing I've ever learned. I always had this mentality that I should find a way to do the least effort to gain the optimal or acceptable result. That didn't get me anywhere. You have to be passionate enough to be willing to put in more effort than anyone else. If you're not overpaying it only means you don't love it that much or you're just ignorant.
This is the logic that is implied to us by exaggerated competition, and this distorts society. Orian just describes it in detail
I can tell you from experience putting the most effort in and exceeding the competition doesn't get you anywhere either.
It's more about putting whatever effort you're putting in, into the right things, rather than the wrong things. 10÷ effort on the correct thing will carry you much further than 100÷ effort on the 'incorrect' thing. Don't let loyalty get in the way, the other party will never ever be loyal to you. That's what I've learnt.
The competition exist to extract the highest possible yield out of the population. Succeeding in the competition is not your personal victory. Someone always wins the game but it's never the player.
you are fulling yourself if you think you can put more effort than anyone else. Today everyone of us struggles against established deep-pocketed corporate players. You have no chance against them, even if you have a 1000 lives, coz they can buy these lives and experience with them. Today you overpay with money, actually it is them who do that do keep everyone else under their foot ... Sport is a simple example of ... what everything else in life is not! If fight was one against one, Putin would be fighting Zelensky, rather than 2 million Russians agaist 500 k Ukrainians ...
@@varmastiko2908 you're talking about Nature and its selection process. That's who really wins in this race.
This describes my youth precisely. I was driven by the next goal, achievement, or possession. There was no limit to what I would sacrifice in time, energy, and resources to fulfill my next WANT. And pretty much every time I succeeded I immediately felt disappointed. Oh well, on to the next WANT! I've found that the best way for me os to stop or reduce my WANT. The most valuable things or people in my life that bring me the most joy, were free or cost me very little. I've found this to be a much more fulfilling way to live...
Same here, that is because when we are young the hormones blind us to pursue achievements at any cost. It is rare for a young person to realize what is going on
If chasing things provides you with meaning and purpose in the moment than it's a good thing. Meaning is subjective after all. You can derive meaning from getting good in chess, or making money or helping people, or spending time with family. Whatever floats your boat, God is dead.@@Daniel-ef7nk
@@Daniel-ef7nk l'm the one. Who knows, who is happier among us
Excellent comment! I love it. And I agree.
I hypothesize that now you can say that since you have achieved a level of success. I posit that if you had not had reached the level of success, you may have not been in the position which afforded you those relationships you so much cherish.
This is 100% true. Any and every time I have every "won" big, it came at an enormous cost: time, friends, a few family members, money and even some of my health. Just the way it is.
Thanks! Always solid content. You are making a difference in your viewers' lives.
This might be the best video for high achievers ever made. The reward for winning is the journey and work required to achieve; not the outcome (although this can be marginally satisfying also).
Lets be honest most people are in for the outcome (money and status) though yes there are some who truly enjoy the journey
Maybe, but once you have money and status, then you'll realize how shallow they are as an ends (in and of themselves).
However, what you had to go through and who you become in the process of achieving these things is what is truly valuable...and rewarding.
If you took all of Elon Musk's money today, does anyone NOT think that within a decade, he'd have most of it all back?
@@beaucannington6448 IT is only satisfying to become really good at something if you do what you like the most, but that is not the norm in our society, most people do things they either don't like or would rather not do without the money or status motivation, so most workaholics are desperate to achieve money and status.
@@beaucannington6448 The majority of Musk's success and achivements were not realized by overpaying to "win". In fact, his biggest failure was "winning" by overpaying for Twitter. I am quite sure that his "journey" with Twitter is something he regrets.
The "good" you were seeking became the pretext to move you through the transformative process........ He nails it there
"Before we desire anything too much.....we ought to consider how happy those are who already have it." Paraphrased from philosopher La Rochefoucauld. Paradox, truth.
This channel is a literal gold mine of modern psych concepts that are important to conceptualize. Bravo mate 🙏👌👍
only for those who are ignorant ...
After having gone through this for the last 15 years, I can say, it has been worth it...for me at least. I just had this conversation with someone more or less just starting out in life. I am now at a stage where I can be personally serviced in every way without leaving the comforts of my home and where my home is literally more comfortable and well equipped than any top 5-star hotel or resort. I have peace of mind. I can actually work less. I can decide when and what I work on. It's worth it.
I’m with you on this. Following my passion to financial freedom has been both the most exhausting and rewarding experience of my life and I wouldn’t change it for a thing. Now to find my next passion because the journey never ends.
This is only true if you chase things everyone wants. If you bet on things early before they're cool and build them into something everyone wants, you get something quite valuable at rock bottom prices. And even if you don't you have a great story to tell
He explains that of course this is a good strategey, as he realized with his house purchase, but that at the time, relative to the market, you still must overpay, even if it's a wise investment.
In terms of relationships, the "overpaying" is true in the scenarios where one party doesn't have much interest, and the other "overcompensates" to win them over. A lot of times, it's the man chasing a woman who is out of his league, or just not interested in him on a personal level. I used to feel bad for guys who put themselves in that "pursuer" position that seems demeaning, but perhaps it can give them a massive motivation to improve themselves.
I still think that the best scenarios are when the two people make simultaneous and visible steps towards building the relationship. Then, neither one overpays.
This is a bloody great channel. This guys a G, he definitely found his calling in life.
The idea that one pursues goals because to achieve them necessitates a self-transformative process that is really more rewarding than achieving the initial goal is brilliant and true.
this is the best explanation on the web about why it is most important to value the process over the destination... the only value isn't in the moment of being acknowledged as a winner/champion but is in the alchemy of reaching one's highest potential after all the sacrifice/dedication/overpaying
Very well said.
But you already overpaid, at the end of the day you can't avoid being upset
I love this video. There is a cold hard truth to what he says, especially for a sensitive/creative type like myself, but this message is someone everyone needs to hear. And yes, it is possible to be happy by deciding certain things cost too much. I think that’s much of our society today, productive, happy, good parents, family, etc. all referred to as “stable”, which is what most people really want. But to stand out, really make a difference, yes, overpaying is required. Great video, great message to start 2024
100% truth. I'm happy this video came out today, as I was explaining the exact same concept to a friend of mine. I'm saving to buy an expensive luxury item. It's not the item itself, but how saving for it has caused me to become more disciplined and practice delayed gratification.
Never a truer word spoken. 👌🏾
I feel my competitor is not others, but time; time catching up with me is what I'm racing against.
How old are you? Its better to start today and now than it is in the future - there is no perfect time
@@Landlord_3 I do my best! Need to get off YT more though
You're dropping gems 💎! Thank you!
I came to this conclusion long ago. And I went for the last option, being content with what i have, knowing I'm better off than probably 80% of folks out there. It's a game of diminishing returns.
Monk mode!
Right on! After being a poor musician all my life, I became rich by cleaning toilets. Literally. Having a large AirBnb business meant cleaning a 30 room "hotel" for 5 hours, every day, for years.On top of taking care of al other aspects of the business.Yes, it was worth it, but almost cost me my life.Still worth it.
Spot on...... again!
I invested and dedicated 5 years of regular practice in becoming good with women. That meant approaching at least 3 to 5 women a day at least three times a week, supplemented by approaching when I felt attracted to a woman on my way to work and other occasions. This led to 1000s of approaches and interactions with women, hundreds of dates and a few relationships along the way which were quite educative. These interactions happened in different countries across Europe. So it was also quite an international experience. The outcome is a version of myself that is more confident, grounded, self-assured and resilient to difficulties and challenges given by our environment. It was a transformative journey which made me wiser, more humble and better understanding of what is attractive to me and what is attractive to women. And finally, I am now in a healthy, nurturing relationship with a woman I love. And I am looking forward to even more growth, as a relationship is simply the next chapter of our journey to grow as a person. The reward is having lived a fulfilling life with a feeling of contentment when looking back at it on our deathbed.
A logical, valuable lesson. Sadly, most who need it already knew and rejected it.
Absolutely brilliant.
Spitting straight fire 🔥
This is the most useful video I've ever watched on your channel and that's saying something because I've watched a lot of them.
Amazing gem of a video !
When the Internet came out, people were very slow to understand that the impact of the Internet and global connectedness was that we would increasingly come to live in a “winner take most” society where only the top two or three companies get most of the market share. We’ve now come to live in a world where we are not just connected commercially, but interpersonally as well, and COVID accelerated that. This video is absolutely essential in understanding that fact. The importance of this video cannot be overstated. It’s so important, in fact, I considered writing an entire book about it, and asked ChatGPT to write an outline for me, and come up with titles for such a book. However, the creator of this channel came up with the concept, so I feel it’s only right to share this information with him. This video warrants an entire book. I hope he writes it…
1. Introduction: Introduce the concept of ‘overpaying’ in various aspects of life due to globalization and technological advancements. Explain how the book will explore these themes
2. Historical Context: Discuss the evolution of market dynamics and social interactions pre-internet era versus the digital age. Highlight key technological and societal shifts.
3. Economic Theory and Winner-Takes-Most Markets: Analyze how globalization and digital platforms have led to a few dominant players in various sectors. Discuss economic theories that support this phenomenon.
4. The Personal Cost in Professional Life: Explore the idea of ‘overqualifying’ oneself for jobs and the increasing expectations in the professional sphere. Include real-world examples and interviews.
5. The Real Estate Market Dynamics: Delve into how the real estate market exemplifies this concept, with people often paying more than the market value in competitive scenarios.
6. Interpersonal Relationships in a Connected World: Analyze how the dynamics of dating and relationships have changed. Discuss the concept of ‘overpaying’ in emotional, financial, or effort terms.
7. Psychological Impact: Explore the psychological effects of living in a society where overpaying is often necessary for success.
8. Global Perspective: Provide a global view, comparing different cultures and societies in terms of how they adapt to or resist these trends.
9. Coping Mechanisms and Strategies: Offer advice on navigating these challenges without compromising personal values and well-being.
10. Future Outlook: Speculate on future trends and how emerging technologies like AI might influence this phenomenon.
11. Conclusion: Summarize the key insights and leave the reader with thought-provoking questions or action points.
And here are some suggested titles:
1. “The Overpayment Effect: Navigating Success in a Winner-Takes-Most World”
2. “Paying More to Win: The Hidden Costs of Success in the Digital Age”
3. “Beyond the Price Tag: The New Rules of Winning in Work, Love, and Life”
4. “The High Cost of Winning: Overpaying in a Globalized Society”
5. “The Overbid Society: Understanding the Real Price of Success”
6. “Exceeding the Bar: How We Pay More in the Age of Globalization”
7. “Winning at a Premium: The Unseen Costs of Success in Modern Times”
It seems to me that the key for success in the future will be increasing specialization. What we each ought to do is assess what we value most and then realize that we must not only pay what’s required, but we will pay more than what’s required because there’s a non-economic payoff to us for whatever the thing is - a price that most others won’t pay. It’s in those specific idiosyncratic scenarios where we are likely to win. The days of being a balanced, well-rounded individual and succeeding on all fronts is over.
Brilliant !
Very true great video
This channel hits 500k before Q2 this year. Calling it now.
So well put. 1000% correct!
Dziękujemy.
Brilliant! Thank you for sharing:)
this is gold.
"Everyone should strive to become a millionaire, not for the million dollars, but for what it will make of you to achieve it." -Jim Rohn
It doesn’t make you a great person
Most of the time, it turn people evil.
Money only is a personality multiplier - it doesnt make you evil, if you weren't before. Exeptions dont make the rule.
You are a sage!
Excellent video. Thanks!
Brilliantly put!
Always to the point!
I think I can highly relate on that: I've been renovating an apartment for nearly 2years all by myself at 28yo, with almost no knowledges or previous experiences in that matter. While it was very fun and pleasing to imagine the renovation, how to organize rooms and make it the best version possible, being at the end of this massive commitment of 2years makes me feel almost as "was all of this really worth it?" Like it's supposed to be the most pleasant part of the renovation when you finally hit the point when you are building the kitchen, bathrooms and making the last finish touches, but i'm like so bored of everything and it makes me want to rush it to just end this experience right now. And so ofc the cost of having a fully renovated apartment in the idea i wanted it to be, had been mentally, physically tested all through it, up and downs like crazy, constant battles with yourself doing things you dont wanna do but you know you have to cause no one else will, to embrace discipline and get rid of "motivational" boost cause it's never as effective as being disciplined.
I've come to realize with your video than even if i should be content with this journey and finally touching the result of what i imagined for so long, I should be even more content with myself for sticking with my discipline day after day, going at it sick, tired, unmotivated. It teached me that perfection is not impossible but it requires so much conditions and attention on a daily basis to not fck it up. I do feel like a more complete man now than I was 2years ago, being that swissknife asset, and useful which my father always preached us to be.
I do see the light at the end of the tunnel and thanks to your video I may be more gentle with myself, I guess self love for men is a long and painful process but only us can truly make it progress
Perfection is unattainable. Perfectionism will trip you up every time. You’ll be the only one aware of every imperfection in your finished apartment. The solution is in your own mind. Good enough is called that for a reason. The best is the enemy of the good.
very true, but so hard to set up for the good when i strive so much for the best@@VivatVeritas1
As my business consumes more and more of my life I understand the true price of what it takes to win…and I love it.
My goal isn't to be the best at anything. I inherently despise competitive goals that require somebody else to lose so that I can win. My goal is to be a better version of myself tomorrow than I was yesterday. That is an attainable goal, and it doesn't take anything away from anybody else.
You're a good man.
Brilliant!!
Thanks, Dr Orion!
Very well said!
Love this video! So true! And there’s a corollary - those not willing to overpay are very annoyed at those who do. They will often call them “maniacal” or “working too much is not good for your health”, or “just be natural”…
This is one of your best videos! I'm so glad you put this out I hope it sobers, and re-sobers people up. Thank you! Success is paid for up front. It's like generating the cash on hand for something in the material world.
Great share Orion, thank you!
Very well said
My favorite PsychHacks video.
Straight 🔥 Orion!
This is one of the greatest ones, so far and analogies expression and entertainment are wrapped into one
I really enjoyed this. Thank you!
For me, it's the idea that in order to get what I want, I have to be the one to sacrifice. After all... no pain, no gain, right?
In dating a woman should be sacrificing everything for you if she's going to be worth keeping because you'll likely have a protective instinct in you that will get you to risk everything for her.
But no pain is a gain in many instances
Yep, it's the way of life after all.
Well said 👏
My life is pretty good. This just changed my life for the better. Thank you!
Dr Taraban always bringing us back to reality. My respect and gratitude from Argentina
Wow! Definitely watching the rest of Orion's videos.
Always deeply insightful. The Doc likes to approach from a novel angle which always helps one to comprehend his mesage.
As always, your points are blunt, to the point, and not full of word salad nonsense. Love it.
Danke! Thank You!
Fresh perspective I have never heard of, very useful to inverse some of the costs of valuable things in life
The way you navigated through this topic is amazing. The transition from one concept to the another, it's simply unmatched. You are one among the best doctor.
"A samurai has no goal - only a path"
Absolutely True
Aspirational regret was something i heard mentioned on a tv show not long ago. When you finally achieve or acquire something youve always wanted and are disappointed that it isnt all you hoped it would be. Great video
Very similar to the gym. If your only goal is to become more attractive - chances are, the difference won't be big enough to compensate for the hundreds of hours spent (if not thousands) and thousands of $ on nutrition, personal trailer, supplements, etc.
But if you think of it as a big journey, a transformation of your whole person (your physique, your mindset, motivation, endurance and will power) - then it is great. And any other benefits that come with that, such as women and general admiration from others - are just a side effect / a cherry on top.
One of the deepest talks you have ever given in my opinion: This point about the object given in winning is not the end goal but a reward along the way is right on the button.
Great content! Yes, you have to pay/do/suffer more than anyone else! You have to overpay on everything in life
Super well said! I’ve been listening to Alex Hermozi and he says it when it comes to working on a business. The job “works on you more than you work on it”. Same idea that it’s about growing into the person that can achieve a very successful business…not just having the business.
Needed this BADLY today
Excellent video!!!
This was truly a remarkable video
This guy is good. Every video I learn something new and that’s super hard to do with an educational channel👏🏾
...and you reach the point where you overpay by default... It is so true. You've got me on this Doc!
Damn dude.... wow, great talk.
In order to win, you must love competition. You must develop a killer mindset and be prepared to go the distance.
The devil’s advocate argument is - are you really winning if you’re overpaying ?
Are ya winning, son?
Yes, I'm crushing it in life! Just started my electronics classes and working toward a CDL.@@secretagent4610
You could also ask: Are you overpaying if you're winning?@@tigerbear3038
Wow, this is huge and makes so much sense! Why hasn't anyone talked about this before? Thank you!
Being aware that there is a trap is the first step in avoiding it.
Before undertaking a costly effort, a wise individual should first discern if the juice is worth the squeeze.
One of your best...
Great wisdom here
That hits hard
It's a good corollary to what the great Charlie Munger said: the easiest way to get what you want is to deserve it.
Danke!
Well said. I couldn’t agree more. Those times I have settled for something less than what I really wanted, I was not happy. I had rather just do without.
The process towards winning really does suck to an extent but actually is the more enjoyable part of it, glorification after winning is a bonus
Growing takes discomfort. But it's the only way to live IMO.