Forget Forgiveness and Harness Hate | Olivia Porter | TEDxChicago

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ความคิดเห็น • 230

  • @LifeofDayy
    @LifeofDayy 2 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    This has been my perspective for a long time. You don’t owe forgiveness to anyone. And if you feel like you’re being guilted into forgiving someone (by that person, by your community, by your religion, etc.), it won’t bring you peace. It may make some people feel better to forgive terrible things but I find it nearly pointless, especially if someone’s done something really heinous to you. There are a handful of people to whom I will never extend forgiveness, and I’m truly happy and at peace with that.

    • @Simon-d8n
      @Simon-d8n 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Well said. . I agree. .. I. Tryed to forgive. But I can’t. Forgive. Abusers. ..it’s. Low vibration mindset people behaviour. And. It’s. Week. Behaviour

    • @JonkoJointson
      @JonkoJointson ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@Simon-d8n you are both mistaken. Forgiveness is not for others. Forgiveness is for the self to move on. "sin is trusting yourself more than God"

    • @Simon-d8n
      @Simon-d8n ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@JonkoJointson I not into religion or cults. So my ideology is different from most people. Yes. I. Don’t. Ever forgive. Anyone. Who. Behave bad towards me or others. .. and. I fine with that path. .. I live a very private life. Because I sick of cutting people off. For doin Bad behaviour. .. look I not perfect but. I better person when I live in solitude and. Sry to my own path.

    • @Simon-d8n
      @Simon-d8n ปีที่แล้ว +8

      I don’t believe in forgiveness. At all.

    • @ivadedeva7005
      @ivadedeva7005 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@JonkoJointson well you are mistaken. Person who is stuck with abusers already forgave them for the abuse and it lead to more abuse more violence and more lack of self esteem.

  • @AA-iy4gm
    @AA-iy4gm 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    thank you for highlighting that forgiveness is not a natural feeling for people, no wonder it felt off when people would keep preaching to forgive and move on, it just sounds like they don't want to hear or deal with anyone's hardships and find it easier to rush the person to basically shut up.

  • @ronwilcoxson946
    @ronwilcoxson946 2 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    So beautifully said. I “hate” the phrase forgive and forget. You will never forget. Our brain circuitry is there to protect us and forgetting opens us to being injured again. I love what she says because it’s not about forgetting, it’s about taking the focus away from the offender and the event(s). Every time we think about and chew on how we’ve been offended we keep that memory fresh. What she’s saying is to take our focus and put it on something positive, love. When that’s where your focus is, then the freshness of the event begins to stale because you’re no longer feeding it with your thoughts.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Yes!!! I’m so glad you understand my message.

    • @fear_less_2020
      @fear_less_2020 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Excellently articulated, Ron!

    • @Simon-d8n
      @Simon-d8n ปีที่แล้ว +3

      That right. If you hate. Then you never go back. To be. Hurt again. And. If you forgive. You giving. Them. A. Pass. For there behaviour. Ha. They even. Tried to wipe my memory. So. Yes. I don’t forgive. But I do go live a amazing life away from them. And I left military. And I now. Happyest I ever been. That. Blue on blue. Behaviour was intense. And. The. Military. Lost. Me. For there behaviour

    • @Simon-d8n
      @Simon-d8n ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes. Focus on a positive. New love or a new hobby or life path. All that god stuff. Is the key to a happy. Life and to be at peace ☮️ also.

  • @TxHoneyBee
    @TxHoneyBee ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Thank you Olivia Porter! I was abused by an 'alcoholic' narcissist, and I spent way to much time in the cult called 'Al-Anon' where they victim-blame, insist that abuse survivors 'detach' and stay stuck in abuse, and that we must 'forgive' these demons. Al-Anon is more victim-blaming abuse. It was so awful! Al-Anon kept me stuck. The only way I got away and to peace was to harness righteous anger and hatred of the person who harmed me. Thank you for this message. I felt it in my life that this was true, and I love that this talk is so validating for survivors.

  • @bastian6173
    @bastian6173 2 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Wow, I absolutely love this concept!!! I've had emotional issues for close to 20 years now. Was bullied a lot as a kid. Had a raging father. Parents almost divorced. Mother always crying. I just always had trouble moving forward. Literally always felt like I was attacking myself from within. The point you mentioned about movement and reasoning and physical energy is so spot on!
    Hate can be a very powerful driver. But only if you know how to channel it and use it wisely. This video shows the way. The ideas you presented are gonna be stuck with me for days. Thank you! ❤❤

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You’re welcome!!

  • @alisonrobinson6570
    @alisonrobinson6570 5 ปีที่แล้ว +53

    I’ve been trying to forgive a truly heinous act for months and months. This is the first video I’ve encountered that finally makes any sense when it comes to forgiveness. Thank you to Olivia a million times over.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Alison Robinson I am so glad my video could help you. I hope you are healing and God bless you in everything you do. Please share the video and keep in touch.

    • @dianeibsen5994
      @dianeibsen5994 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Alison. Thank you for your comment. I have a question for you as I am working through a lot of hurt, anger and disgust. did you feel bad that you weren't able to do the whole forgiveness thing "right" and it wasn't "working" did anyone make it your fault? like that you weren't doing it "right" because you were still feeling hate towards this person or anger? This is what a lot of the mental health "professionals" and or "spiritual" mentors. I've run into in the past would say.

  • @onlytruedreamer7697
    @onlytruedreamer7697 4 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Wow, that has to be the best perspective of love/hate when it comes to being wronged. I've never thought of seeing hate in that form before.
    Props to Mrs. Porter for this awesome perspective.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you !!!!

  • @SunitaDe
    @SunitaDe 3 ปีที่แล้ว +86

    You hate injustice, because you strive for fairness. You hate abuse, because you want to help others. Use your hate to fuel the opposite - what you love. Ok now this made some damn sense. Well done!

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Thank you! I’m glad you appreciate my talk.

    • @abc-rp2nf
      @abc-rp2nf 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nope. Focusing on the negative will only give it more power

    • @michaelboahenayeh6587
      @michaelboahenayeh6587 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @abc you should read more

  • @kc7476
    @kc7476 3 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    This a seriously underrated concept! She explains it so well.

  • @1LovedbyHim
    @1LovedbyHim 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Oh my goodness…This was such an eye-opener for me! I’m definitely going to practice this because this forgiveness thing is no joke, it’s so hard, especially having to be around the offender and his family EVERY SINGLE WEEK! Thank you for this!

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You’re welcome!

  • @fear_less_2020
    @fear_less_2020 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This is what I needed. This is exactly what I needed. Thank you, Olivia Porter.

  • @africanwildshealthcare254
    @africanwildshealthcare254 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    ❤❤❤ I love your content. Now I understand why I can never forgive the things that some people have done to me, because I love respect and honesty.

  • @justinb3846
    @justinb3846 3 ปีที่แล้ว +49

    Good video and message. What I dont like about that forgiveness thing is that it’s avoiding reality. Like everything will be good if you stay positive..a naive perspective that gives a false sense of security.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I totally agree with you. I’m glad you liked the video. Please feel free to share it.
      Have a great evening.

  • @pmproductions3712
    @pmproductions3712 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This was a really good message and a very powerful mind shift. I needed to hear this as I'm currently working through some negative emotions and now I have some tools to help me.

  • @myriamtuttle
    @myriamtuttle 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Thank you Lord for Olivia Porter, this humanizes the suffering without giving my soul up to the toxicity I have been living with. This gives me an alternative out. Awesome and intelligent woman, I wish we could clon her and send copies of her wherever there are hearts trapped by suppression or denial

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thank you!!!! I’m so glad you benefited from my talk. Please feel free to share it with anyone you think might like it.

  • @Lowdermoomoo
    @Lowdermoomoo 3 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    This is my View on forgiveness when they say to forgive my ex husband. I did the same thing. It works sooo much better! I hate him because I love myself more than his abuse

  • @feilumina7621
    @feilumina7621 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you for the very interesting and different approach. I like how you were so real and true about emotions, and how you turned the hate into love. ❤

  • @cindyhalpern3187
    @cindyhalpern3187 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    She is brilliant.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Brilliant?! Thank you!!! Lol

  • @Catlady77777
    @Catlady77777 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank you, my Queen, for pulling me out of the abyss...

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      An abyss!? Wow, I'm glad I could help.

  • @juliekrol
    @juliekrol ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Can this woman be president…of the world 😂 I think I’ve never gotten over my traumas because therapy and people tried to get me to forgive and forget and that went against what was in my heart. I’m going to try this exercise. I don’t think we should ever forget, we should just let it not bother us as much and focus on things/people that deserve it.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I’m so glad I could help!❤

  • @Ikeneengameplays
    @Ikeneengameplays 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    this is such a powerful advice for everyone since we all hate something but just a few can actually forgive or use that hate in a positive way, i apreciate it thank you

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I’m glad you appreciate my speech. Thank you!

  • @snschannel3316
    @snschannel3316 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Thank you so much Olivia. I really needed this at this point in my life. Blessings to you and keep doing the wonderful work that you're doing to help people. ❤️

  • @lorakdoggett
    @lorakdoggett ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Oh, wow. This is amazing! Thank you for this perspective..

  • @kurts5635
    @kurts5635 4 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    Olivia is a one-of-a-kind person. She speaks with an understanding that is both straightforward and empathetic. Knowledgable and guiding. Great Talk Olivia. =)

  • @geofsearles1535
    @geofsearles1535 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Ms. Porter, thank you. I will keep this in mind in the future. The past year for me has been one struggle with forgiveness after another. I wish I'd had this enlightenment before then. Others will surely find power and freedom in your message.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Geof Searles Thank you. I’m so glad my talk was helpful. I hope this year brings you nothing but love and success.

    • @dianeibsen5994
      @dianeibsen5994 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Me too Geof. How are you getting along these days. I've gone through a lot this last 3 years and it is brought up so much anger and hate and hurt.

  • @brittneywilliams1309
    @brittneywilliams1309 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I truly appreciated this because growing up I was told and taught is a very strong word that you shouldn't hate and I felt like I was denying a real emotion Ann's feeling when I got older and experienced things that I would force myself to so called forgive and be told that's the only way to heal and move forward

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yes, I think most people were taught that. Hopefully, this talk gives you a fresh perspective.

  • @maureenbennett809
    @maureenbennett809 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I have been struggling with this for 13 years with a dentist. Thank you for your teachings, much appreciated! ❤️❤️

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      You’re welcome!
      Wow, 13 years is a long time. I hope this video brought you some much deserved peace.

    • @mangoyacho
      @mangoyacho 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      but are there no other dentists in your area?

    • @maryannwatkins7166
      @maryannwatkins7166 ปีที่แล้ว

      Did you work for that dentist?

    • @maureenbennett809
      @maureenbennett809 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@maryannwatkins7166 No, I was his patient.

  • @scottblack7182
    @scottblack7182 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    One of the most important and helpful ted talks I have ever seen. ❤

  • @kennyguinto1864
    @kennyguinto1864 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    At first I was concerned about the concept of harnessing hate, but after she explained it I'd love to give it a try!

  • @drshilpa9701
    @drshilpa9701 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Most important one for every mistreated personalities 🔥🔥

  • @joshsblee
    @joshsblee 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Tbh i thought it was going to be a different kind of talk.. I remember doing an exercise my sister recommended that she learned from her therapist which was to write down the reasons why I hated my father, who was the villain in my life. In doing so, I noticed a pattern: The reasons why I hated my father were because he violated the things I held dear to my heart. Then I had the brilliant idea to write down what I loved about him too.. While I couldn't find too many reasons, the few things I wrote sort of humanized him. I still hate him though because he hasn't changed one bit. Thanks for justifying my hatred.

  • @betsyschreiber4498
    @betsyschreiber4498 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Best TEDx talk I ever listented to

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thank you!!!

  • @juliapilgrim6074
    @juliapilgrim6074 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Olivia thank you! I think maybe what you are saying has me feeling that hate and forgiveness and its companion love are not really so opposed to one another because you are talking about taking the focus off of an individual someone might have been trying to forgive and putting the hatred instead onto circumstances that have been bought about by that person, such as being a in hospital and not being healthy as the victim of violence. In this way the perpetrator becomes beside the point. I can see that there are merits for forgiveness as well, as featured in another inspiring talk by Sarah Montana. Thank you again for being so supportive to me and to many. I think a better word for what I seek would be compassion, but words have limitations too.

  • @jeeyoona
    @jeeyoona 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Luvvvv this logic! Thank you for a faster way out than "Forgiveness!"

  • @sightinthedarktarot7807
    @sightinthedarktarot7807 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Yes! I said the same thing about negative emotions and Hate specifically, and so many times and people just stick their fingers in ther ears like the Vancome Lady from Mad TV.
    Awesome share, madam.
    I love the concept of that journal/affirmatation exercise, too!

  • @NadiaStAmand
    @NadiaStAmand 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    i hate being hazed at work because i love my job: makes so much sense! xoxo

  • @inspirefrance5194
    @inspirefrance5194 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This is the best video ever, so clear and effective

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Merci beaucoup! I’m so glad you enjoyed it!

  • @LauraSmith-ue3ck
    @LauraSmith-ue3ck ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Expecting people to forgive can enable abuse and allow social injustice to continue.
    We are taught from kindergarden to be fair, honest, peaceful people, so if after going through almost 2 decades of basic education at home and at school, even more in college and post graduate education ..but still some behave poorly or abhorrently, then having expectations of change is unrealistic.
    There are millions of people with whom one can have decent social interactions so why get stucked with people (friends, family, partners) who don't behave in a fair manner.
    Once someone wrongs us, trust is broken, and like a broken glass, even if repaired, it's never gonna be the same, so why not instead stay away from the wrong doer, avoid remembering their actions and focus on one's life or on building new social relations with people that had learned the value of treating others fairly.

  • @taninkamangar5862
    @taninkamangar5862 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    The most powerful speech! Thank you 🤍

  • @shanelivingston3334
    @shanelivingston3334 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This is best Ted talk I ever had thank you

  • @FAITHandLOGIC
    @FAITHandLOGIC 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Depends on the circumstances. Sometimes forgiveness is not justified.

    • @Justadudeman22
      @Justadudeman22 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Forgiveness with apology is always justified.

    • @Moszan
      @Moszan 3 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@Justadudeman22 Not if that apology is halfassed.

  • @danturner1331
    @danturner1331 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    That is a great thing. It's up there with the best stuff I've ever heard. I think I have the answer now. thanks.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are very welcome!

  • @johnbaker5717
    @johnbaker5717 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Enlightening and inspiring. Thank you.

  • @carlaa.k6763
    @carlaa.k6763 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    This just healed me 🙌

  • @ivadedeva7005
    @ivadedeva7005 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    I PERFECTLY UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MEAN!

  • @tttman4385
    @tttman4385 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Had a big discussion with my x while back this backs up what i was telling her 100%

  • @InGodITrust-u2c
    @InGodITrust-u2c 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    That was so good I nearly cried

  • @harrypreckwinkle6316
    @harrypreckwinkle6316 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    This talk really made me think. Thanks, Olivia!

  • @moolalchemy
    @moolalchemy 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Love motivates me to forgive . After many years I confronted my abuser and saw the wound they carried . In that moment it became so easy to forgive .

    • @scottblack7182
      @scottblack7182 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +6

      No 😅 thats what grifters say in order to make people feel guilty for not forgiving. Again no one is ever owed forgiveness. Sure it's a nice thought but it never heals the victim and tends to only empower abusers. You can forgive someone who's mind is completely broken because they are insane. That's a totally different story. But the pathological abuser who knew exactly what they were doing was wrong? No no kiddo, we should never forgive those types. It won't help you or them in the long run. IDC if you have an "emotional scar" . That never gives you the right to deliberately harm others .

    • @scottblack7182
      @scottblack7182 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Only the insane or brain damaged can and or should be forgiven..and they still aint owed it 😅.

  • @emanon2794
    @emanon2794 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This video is the reason I'm doing anything today and any other day going forward. God bless you! She used to attack me when I hid in the bathroom. She broke the cheap door down and choked me in the shower and broke the shower door. I cried when I heard Depps story, it was to real to me.

  • @therealdeal3672
    @therealdeal3672 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Awesome, inspirational, original, brilliant! Thank you!!

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      You’re welcome!!

  • @hmmhmmhmm3
    @hmmhmmhmm3 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    BRILLIANT!

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Thank you!!

  • @SED8official
    @SED8official 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you so much for this. This was much needed. I'm so thankful I came across this video. 💗

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm glad the video helped you. BTW, I love your TH-cam channel - very cool and thought-provoking.

  • @karenquehl6869
    @karenquehl6869 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you!!! Just the message I needed.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You are so welcome! I’m glad I could help you.

  • @arletemachadodalmolin5693
    @arletemachadodalmolin5693 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Amazing and wonderful!

  • @violeta3425
    @violeta3425 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    What a change of perspective! 💜🙏🏻

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      I’m glad you appreciate it!

    • @denisdenak
      @denisdenak 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@oporter1452 finally someone who actually makes sense.

  • @megnemo6403
    @megnemo6403 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I was always told as a kid that hate is wishing someone was dead

  • @dusanblagojevic4430
    @dusanblagojevic4430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    watched it like five times already! I really needed to hear this.. thanks

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I’m glad I could help you. God bless you!

    • @dusanblagojevic4430
      @dusanblagojevic4430 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@oporter1452 keep it up! I'm going to come back to this.. lots of love from Holland!

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@dusanblagojevic4430 Dank je! Please feel free to share my talk with your friends.

  • @tracybianco7511
    @tracybianco7511 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Love your message, Olivia!

  • @ladyjusticesusan
    @ladyjusticesusan 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This is amazing. I love it.

  • @avasalvatore1643
    @avasalvatore1643 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is outstanding

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you very much!!

  • @DaoNguyen-vp7ki
    @DaoNguyen-vp7ki 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    very insightful. i found this talk much more effective than others I've viewed. thank you Olivia.

  • @deaundramoon5042
    @deaundramoon5042 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Kate focused on her self only. Great exercise. Keep focus on what YOU love! Whew!

  • @RazvanDaba
    @RazvanDaba ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Wow, what a refeaming. Thanks!

  • @clivecoleman1643
    @clivecoleman1643 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you

  • @carlarynbeek6510
    @carlarynbeek6510 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Powerful...Thank you!

  • @Euphoric22
    @Euphoric22 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    i love this!!!!!!!!

  • @DonaldDork
    @DonaldDork 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thank you.

  • @perla15N
    @perla15N 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you !

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You’re welcome! I hope it helped you in some way.

  • @toriblancoreyes3331
    @toriblancoreyes3331 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Forgiving someone who hurts u so bad is not easy, but I chose to forgive to give peace for myself and let my heart free of anger then move on. But I can't forgive my ex husband even I wanted to that's why I search for some opinions that brought me here. Enlighten me a little but will work on it. Thank u so much❤❤❤

  • @brittneywilliams1309
    @brittneywilliams1309 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I can't even count how many times I've watched and listened to this video... so thankful for this perspective and explanation because this truly resonates with me more than anything especially being taught the typical love your enemy bs and forgiveness is the key to healing and expanding your love... nope nope nope

    • @TxHoneyBee
      @TxHoneyBee ปีที่แล้ว +2

      'Love your enemy' is one of the most harmful things to come out of religion, and I say this as a church-going Christian. Some things our body simply understands far better than these 'spiritual authorities'. Hate can keep you protected and inspired to make action to defend what you love, just as Olivia described with the movement and reasoning activation in the brain. I really appreciate the way she explained that.

  • @hugojj101
    @hugojj101 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    nice, So obvious really. Thank you.

  • @Jessica-jt7ul
    @Jessica-jt7ul 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so so much. Thank you.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You’re welcome! Thank you for viewing it.

  • @AkshayDakhane
    @AkshayDakhane 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    This saved me!

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's great to hear! Thank you listening to my talk and much luck and success to you.

  • @cheesygobblens
    @cheesygobblens 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Definitely surprised me

  • @jennifercoolidgeislife6760
    @jennifercoolidgeislife6760 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Omg glad to know the techniques don’t work. I’m tired of trying to forgive my ex. I might as well hate him and stay motivated.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Nothing is “one size fits all”. Do what works for you and honor your emotions.

    • @jennifercoolidgeislife6760
      @jennifercoolidgeislife6760 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@oporter1452 thank you for replying and great advice !!

    • @jackieade6599
      @jackieade6599 25 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Yup! Turn that hatred into a positive direction 🤣🥰😇!

  • @cheaptrickfan
    @cheaptrickfan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Absolutely spot on! Wonderful talk.

  • @MA-bm2qs
    @MA-bm2qs 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I pray God to give you courage and strength.

  • @FarieFly
    @FarieFly 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love you
    Thank you

  • @alanabeaumont2650
    @alanabeaumont2650 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You’re welcome!🙏🏽

  • @pamelaobrien4840
    @pamelaobrien4840 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Authentic and practical. The best thing I have heard or read on the subject! Brilliant.

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Pamela O'Brien Thank you very much! “Practical“ is a good word for what I believe. Please share my talk with your friends.

  • @aadyakapoor2583
    @aadyakapoor2583 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    loved it

  • @MsGorella
    @MsGorella 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Well, put. Excellent advice.

    • @dialedin5875
      @dialedin5875 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Horrible advice to ignore the self grown hatred in your own communities for white Americans and this nation

  • @candid.303
    @candid.303 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Wow.

  • @theresagirlinthecorner8392
    @theresagirlinthecorner8392 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Wow yes

  • @sofiahassan7568
    @sofiahassan7568 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I agree with you do what you Love Thank you !

  • @dianeibsen5994
    @dianeibsen5994 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thank you so much for sharing this. You're such a beautiful woman. I am having a hard time finding a way to deal with all the hate, dicust and hurt that comes up. I hate forgiveness and I hate that ppl say that it's for you. Its ironic that you're already having a lot of feelings of hate. then you have the other feeling of hate..people telling you that this is supposed to work when it doesn't work for everyone. I will try the writing exercise. Did you come up with this idea yourself? I could use some help I wrote a statement I hate my dad because he's self-centered I hate my dad because he's cruel, mean and disgustingly weak. do I make these all individual statements? and then how do I change them statements?

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @Diane Ibsen Thank you for viewing my talk. Please feel free to share it.
      I was suggest making the statements a more specific. For example, what specifically did he do to demonstrate his cruelty or meanness? I would start off with no more than three of his most egregious acts then turn those into hate/love statements.
      Let me know if that helps.

  • @georgianabodoiu59
    @georgianabodoiu59 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The more you forgive the more they walk all over you and disrespect you

  • @susiesa8295
    @susiesa8295 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    i can not forgive or even want to. there is a few people who know i hate them i can not have peace in my life cause of their evilness!

  • @TLowCTI
    @TLowCTI 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Awesome video

  • @KarmicWealth
    @KarmicWealth 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thanks for being different....

  • @DerDrBach
    @DerDrBach ปีที่แล้ว +3

    El perdón está culero, el odio sí está chingón.

  • @minanikki15
    @minanikki15 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    This is the kind of 3am thoughts people should have. 😉
    (yup watching this at 3am in my country)

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Are you in Asia?

    • @minanikki15
      @minanikki15 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@oporter1452 Yesss ☺️☺️

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Hello, friend! I hope you liked it.
      The premise of my talk has kept me awake at 3am many times. :)

  • @kameishalaneise6541
    @kameishalaneise6541 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Beautiful 🥰💕❤️💛

  • @Misssixty510
    @Misssixty510 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Beautiful ♥️

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Misssixty510 Thank you!

  • @BlackWingedSeraphX
    @BlackWingedSeraphX 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Forgiveness is naive.

  • @danturner1331
    @danturner1331 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You are an expert. No, a master.

  • @kathyfann
    @kathyfann ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I live a happy life forgiving everyone who has harmed me not for their sake so much because they rarely even know it but for my sake I can laugh I can have fun I can be free because I don’t hold anything against anyone and it sets me free

  • @Bhanoo4UTube
    @Bhanoo4UTube 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    🙌💖🙏

  • @luckylife123
    @luckylife123 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Something new to me.... Great👍

    • @oporter1452
      @oporter1452 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      mercy lotha Thank you!