I feel like there's other kids like her that run scenarios through their head and they won't say anything a lot of people are more worried about being abandoned
My mother did. And I see it all the time. Unfortunately, it eats me alive to this day. I’m glad I came across this video. I’m now inspired to research forgiveness for myself
Lots of so called "mothers" do it, including my own. That's how people are, they only care about themselves.....95% of women only care about having a man. They honestly couldn't care less about their children & they'll choose a man over their child in a heart beat. Most people do NOT deserve to be parents
I am a 50 six-year-old male And a victim of child abuse at the age of 7. I want to thank you so much for being so brave to share your story and letting others like us know that it is not our fault so that we can go forward in life for giving ourself thank you very much..
Im sorry for what you went through, sending love. For me I was drowned multiple times and beaten every chance my father can. It's very hard to recover but I hope your doing better now these days
What an amazing woman. When she told the story about the police officer also abusing children, chills ran down my neck. It is everywhere and it needs to stop.
It will never stop. It might be that it happens to fewer people but it will happen to enough of us who will tell our stories to bring awareness to help prevent it from happening to more people.
@@ells80 There will come a time when horrible things like this will never happen again. We haven't gotten to that stage in humanity just yet, but I believe that one day, with enough survivor empowerment and perpetrator accountability, we will be able to see the end of immorality and violence. But if we want to progress toward a better, brighter future, we can't give up on hope.
For some truer words have never been spoken. Maybe he or she is not living, only existing. Maybe you can’t fathom what they went through. For some, yes sadly the damage is irreparable.
Forgiveness- 1.forgivness does not mean condoning 2.forgiveness does not mean revisiting 3. Forgiveness doesn't have just 1 definition 1. Full Forgiveness 2.conditional Forgiveness (time can be rebuilt) 3.false Forgiveness 4.unforgivness !!![Because of RELEASE we can heal without FORGIVENESS ]
this is so heart breaking, so many kids suffer in silence and it ruins their life. Thank you for telling your story. Im sorry your mom did not protect you , no one deserves to feel abandoned by the ones who should protect you.
One of the worst things in my abuse healing journey was being told I had to forgive too early. I was told the day my abuse was discovered. It made me feel that no anger or blame or anything could be felt towards my abuser, so I internalized it for decades. Now, in my 30s, I’m allowed to feel my anger towards the right direction and I’m feeling confidence and empowerment. Forgiveness is key but just as important is knowing WHEN and allowing yourself to not hold all the burden.
Being numb for so many years and now using nothing except tools that l have been given from mental health groups I can now manage to get through a couple of days without reliving some traumatic memory and it feels good to be sober finally
@@unicornsrice1667 Forgiveness is not about the abuser being verbally forgiven. It is about the victim freeing themselves of resentment, hate, and anger to live a healthier life.
@@unicornsrice1667 I respect that. Only you know what you have been through, what these people put you through, and how they affected you. I am sorry for whatever you went through. I am so happy that you have cut people out of your life who only brought you pain. Also, that your life is good and that you feel free. I wish you happiness and joy for many days to come!
We can survive. Forgiveness without justice? Is dangerous. Criminals need to be prosecuted. Victims need to know dangerous people are not roaming our streets. I know my abusers do not want forgiveness but permission to abuse us. Our law enforcement, juries and judges need to pass sentences that keep these dangerous people behind bars. I save my love for the people who saw me through troubled times. Glad you shared your story because people need to know this is real. That we need to be supportive and create laws to protect children from this kind of abuse.
Thank you for sharing this with the world. My eyes wont stop tearing as somebody who knows exactly how it feels like. While our experiences are different, I need to let go of this constant pain.
I remembered the day I told my daughter that I believed her and I chose her, and since then, I have never stopped fighting for her to be heard. My body is tired. My mind is tired. But I will never give up on her.
Last week I told my mother that my older brother molested me several times, but she didn't believe me. I haven't talked to her since, and I hope I have the power to never talk to her ever again.
I don't know how much it means coming from a stranger, but I am so proud of you for overcoming the circumstances that you were put in. Graduating highschool and escaping the system is a huge thing and you should be proud of yourself.
This young lady is so strong and brave. Glad to see she had stood up for herself and other victims. She’s making a difference. As a survivor myself trauma has been a challenge in my life. She gives me hope.
You are so amazing. I'm 62 and although I hold space for healing over the past 45 years for thousands of victims as a holistic self-care massage therapist, I have never told my story to the clan members. I know that it would not be heard. Only now am I forgiving myself for a lifetime eating disorder and not being able to connect with others. In my case it was the next door neighbor and as a latch key kid at four years old it was brutal. It is so common. I'm glad we are all speaking up and shinning a light to listen to the signs in our tiny ones. It's not what happens to us it is not having the support we need to take the time to heal. I love and appreciate you so much. Keep going you are helping us all.
Thank you for this. I am very lucky to have found a man, my husband, who really supports me and gives me safety and understandment in my healing yourney. I Wish and Hope that everyone finds the Safety and Peace to be able to start that healing! 🙏🙏🙏
Not to divert attention, BUT, a latch key kid at FOUR YEARS OLD?!? HELLO!!! Where were your parents? Didn’t you have a babysitter?!? Were you totally unsupervised?
Your story revisit my trauma. The catholic Church was abusing me went to seek help from a 80yr old nun also named Tara then. She included more nuns n people with power. Here I am being still targeted. I pray for help from any where in our divine Universe. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.
I hope you grow to understand that the whole god myth is a lie. It gives power to the undeserving. Do not hand your personal power over to any mangod religion or it’s minions. All of the Abrahamic religions are created by men to subjugate women.
I was forced into being a Catholic and I found those people to be very abusive. My parents were horrible, very narcissistic. The Catholic Church has gone downhill even further and my advice would be to get out of it. Take it or leave it.
Thank you Tara. The last thing you said really touched me. I have felt so much shame about myself for decades. I have hated myself because of what someone else did to me. Today, I'm forgiving myself. Thank you so much.
Wow, you made changes. You are courageous. My mother promised me she would get a job and leave my dad, so I at age 11 I learned to catheterize my little sister so my mom could work and I got out of class my 5th and 6th grade class to cath her in kindergarten and 1st grade. My mother never left him until I was 23. I do not forgive her. She watched all kinds of abuse because she couldn't survive with a handicap child alone. She sacrificed me. I do not forgive her and have been in no contact mostly for 16 years.
What a strong woman! I honor your courage, Tara. Still a very long way in societies of our world, to gain Body Safety. Also Mind safety. We ALL are responsible to teach children that they are allowed to have borders and that only them own their body and mind. Live with respect to others and teach your children to dare to speak up against any type of authority.
What an intelligent and articulate woman. I'm very sorry for your trauma, and wish it had never happened to you. Sadly, this is all too common. The "justice" found for these victims, will never, ever equal the price the victims will pay, emotionally for the rest of their lives. There is no real "justice", that being equal, that you will find. "justice" is a see saw, that tilts one way or the other, never equal for each victim, never equal for each criminal. It is what it is, and what is left, is a victim who is traumatized and must deal with the nightmares, and emotional fallout of such acts. I feel your pain tara, and I'm a man, and former LEO. I wish you the full measure of what peace you can find and love from who you are with.
What a moving and gripping talk! Forgiveness is like Trust it is earned and it is not given freely! Some things are Unforgivable! But release and self-forgiveness is how we become more free. Beautiful. So true.
@@rosepatterson951 no need to. Just forgive yourself for the shame you felt for being a victim. The abuser has not earned forgiveness. You deserve to forgive yourself however.
This should have way more views. I’m so proud of you sister. You are using your trauma to heal others. I am cheering for you and for changes to be made to protect our children. ❤
We could hear the sadness and bravery at the same time in your sweet voice. Thank you for sharing you story, I wish to all of us healing, strength and lot of love and peace ♥
I'm bawling. (HUGS) you're definitely not alone. Thank you so much for sharing your story and working so hard to help other children. My mom stood by my step dad too. I haven't been able to forgive and just recently reached out for help.
I’m so so soooo sorry. I can’t forgive my mom either. I understand that she’s been through a lot but she NEVER felt sorry about what she did. I don’t know how to forgive?
I really relate to this courageous story. I'm 50. The ensuing self destruction with drugs and alcohol. Extrapolating this out to the abusive parties I am wondering , what happened to them? Alternatively, have the baby boomers simply had a great experience: parents that built wealth, economically good times, a simpler family life? My experience is about parents that never "chose me" and often dashed my efforts. Absent, except to foil my best efforts. The issue, I think, is about mothers who have had still births etc and never been allowed to grieve, they married controlling 60s men. Ive often wished I was raised in an orphanage, is that weird? Thanks for this brave action
I'm 57 and just learned last year why my life has been such a mess and eventually exploded. I went insane last year. It's my parents, too.. They sound alot like yours and alot like so many of us from the GenX era of Benevolently Neglectful parenting. I was SO AFFECTED listening to Tara today, I know there is still much more work to do to get better. What an octopus of a nightmare.
Dr Susan Ford wrote a book called toxic parent. She was adamant about how it is not mandatory to forgive your perpetrators. I think this is a refreshing perspective in the westernized world that has been watered boarded with religion and the concept of Duty towards parents irregardless of their atrocities. This speaks to the systemic problem of the lack of proper education for breeders who keep bringing more atrocities to the species that is human
Girl you're not alone, your story is a mirror of my own! Thank God, I'm not by myself. At least you were brave enough to go to the cops yourself. My friend did it fo rme, when my mom didn't believe me, i completely shut down. I'm paying high prices for that now and i'm seeking help. My drive for this, is now, i have a one year old daughter myself and i feel like i need to put her in a bubble to keep her safe.
You must learn to let go of it now or your child in future will have other problems to think about as you would be passin it to your child by wrapping her in a bubble
I've recently realised that I will never understand the need for forgiving what God has not asked us to forgive. I feel like Ms Tara you have forgiven by bridging the gap for younger people who were once in your situation, by ensuring and taking it upon yourself to provide assistance to where the law has failed us. The definitions we use for "forgiveness" are colonial and imperialistic - they're not meant to resolve situations. Forgiveness is supposed to change people for the better, true forgiveness holds people accountable at all times and asks: how can I do better? I personally have rejected unhealthy definitions of forgiveness. Tara has forgiven, completely ❤️
"Choose them." I was able to hold it together until this part. Thank you so very much for your choice to be courageous, to empower yourself, to empower others. As a fellow survivor, THANK YOU.
God Bless you, so many of us are healing survivors. Went to court at 16 and it started at 14. Healing is a process,yes talk to your kids early. Fear of abuse is horrible. 🙏💕
Beautiful. Thank you Tara for all the incredible legislative work you've done, the public speaking, the awareness raising. You demonstrate the right and good kind of power and empowerment, and at so many levels: interpersonal, intrapersonal, community, government, legal. You are an inspiration.
I was so happy for you to share this dark part of your life, and be able to shed light to everyone's eyes. I am so proud of what you have accomplished! With much love, Trayce
My father also molested me and faced no consequences whatsoever, and I also plan to eventually share my story online like she did to get some type of justice for myself; her story gives me hope for my own journey of forgiveness and healing ❤
Girl.. you are not alone in our state failure:( I love this. First talk I’ve heard from anyone from mt and it’s powerful! I don’t know one person who hasn’t been failed here and it’s weighing heavy
I am so very sorry you had to experience that and thank you so much for sharing your story. Also thank you for your courageous efforts towards building awareness and creating change so that these predators are held more accountable. You are incredibly brave! I have 2 girls and have been teaching them about body awareness since they could talk. The statistics are scary thanks for advocating for innocent kids who don’t deserve this! You are amazing 🌈
This is so helpful… it’s easy to get lost in the reasons why we’re traumatized, which keep us reliving the pain. Moving closer to the wound and acknowledging & clearing the dark energy that we’ve lived with our whole lives, is a new concept for me and I think it will be the key to freedom. Thank you 🙏
I absolutely wept listening to your story Tara! I said a prayer for you and I am so proud of you! 🤗❤️ So many children and adults will benefit for your use and bravery in using your voice.
It's beyond what I could have imagined when this talk first began. BRAVO! You've done a wonderful job of telling a story that so needs to be told: abuse is entirely too common.
Thank you, Tara. Very powerful information on how to move on from the unforgivable. Release - not revisiting. Never heard this talked about. So many continue to victimize the victim putting them in a dryer spin telling them they cannot have happiness until they exhonorate their abusers with full forgiveness.
Thank you for sharing your story. You’re bravery is beautiful. I too, know this path. Hopefully one day, I’ll be able to forgive me, and exonerate myself
There you go you go through the chemical dependency and everything "they think" that you should receive, thank you for your story. I'm absolutely disgusted with some of the people that were in my family, they still love their secrets quite a few are gone now. That takes a lot of courage Thank you the true ones make us look like we were in the wrong when we were kids, what a blessing to share this thank you
POWERFUL. God set you on this path so you could survive, overcome, and help protect children ~ God only knows how many children you have helped by sharing your story, actually taking action by helping pass laws as well as raising awareness in schools! God bless you and may He protect you and your family always. 😇 💕
So many emotions come up within this talk. My favorite message here lies within the actions taken to bring justice to all. Tara shares her strength, courage and commitment needed to make a positive impact in this world. All the while she displays her vulnerability, pain and suffering that we all may see how it's done. Thank you Tara for being a beacon of hope, honor and love. I will take from this a lesson in forgiveness.. As I have more work to do to forgive people for mental & physical abuses... Thank you 💯🔥🙏
Thank you for sharing your story, my story is very similar to yours. I now have 2 young girls and you reaffirmed that i should talk to them. THANK YOU. I send you light and a warm hug.
Tara, you have no idea how you've touched my soul! I'm a survivor and I always struggle with forgiveness. I think I should, part of me wants to, but ... Thank you for your strength, that I also have on my good days. My mom just called as I was typing, I didn't answer her bc I just don't feel like it today. I'm 60 yrs old, I can make that decision. I still have some anger issues and I've found an amazing new therapist. I feel hope today so I thank you for that 💓
"Choose your kid always" Ill never understand what makes a mother turn her back on her child for her mans pleasure. Sick and twisted. Bless you Tara
I feel like there's other kids like her that run scenarios through their head and they won't say anything a lot of people are more worried about being abandoned
My mother did. And I see it all the time. Unfortunately, it eats me alive to this day. I’m glad I came across this video. I’m now inspired to research forgiveness for myself
I have a theory. Deep seeded approval of a man. This could be mimicking relationships they have seen growing up.
Abuse, trauma and denial.
Lots of so called "mothers" do it, including my own. That's how people are, they only care about themselves.....95% of women only care about having a man. They honestly couldn't care less about their children & they'll choose a man over their child in a heart beat. Most people do NOT deserve to be parents
"Believe them!! Choose them!" such a powerful statement!! Educate them!
I am a 50 six-year-old male And a victim of child abuse at the age of 7. I want to thank you so much for being so brave to share your story and letting others like us know that it is not our fault so that we can go forward in life for giving ourself thank you very much..
im so sorry for what happened to you
Much love n care from fellow survivor. .💙🙏
Im sorry for what you went through, sending love. For me I was drowned multiple times and beaten every chance my father can. It's very hard to recover but I hope your doing better now these days
Hope you can heal
Whatsaap him"**
My mother did the same thing. It is never easy to move forward. God bless you.
It's so hard sometimes
I understand 🤍🙏🏻
What an amazing woman. When she told the story about the police officer also abusing children, chills ran down my neck. It is everywhere and it needs to stop.
Your absolutely right!!
You might be surprised how many law enforcement employees are abusers.
It will never stop. It might be that it happens to fewer people but it will happen to enough of us who will tell our stories to bring awareness to help prevent it from happening to more people.
@@ells80 🖤
@@ells80 There will come a time when horrible things like this will never happen again. We haven't gotten to that stage in humanity just yet, but I believe that one day, with enough survivor empowerment and perpetrator accountability, we will be able to see the end of immorality and violence. But if we want to progress toward a better, brighter future, we can't give up on hope.
Who the F#%k gives a talk like this a "Thumbs Down". I have nothing but respect and admiration for Tara, her work and courage!
An abuser
@@tdurhamm exactly! To dear ears
Someone triggered and can’t self regulate their own emotions….one who is broken
an abuser or someone like her mother
Amazing story of Bravery!
This is a life sentence for the victim. It never goes away. Incredibly heartbreaking.
Thatswhy is important to change your narrative. Go from victim to survivor to winner. Let it make you better and stronger, not bitter.
No it’s not bro u can thrive still. That mindset will kill u
For some truer words have never been spoken. Maybe he or she is not living, only existing.
Maybe you can’t fathom what they went through. For some, yes sadly the damage is irreparable.
@@jarkachalmovianska7812
Your words telling that you are not assaulted before
trauma fucks you up in more ways then you think....i suffered trauma for 16 years straight...i have never forgiven anyone...im amazed i made it out.
I am ANGRY .. This god damn system needs to change and be more understanding..
Forgiveness-
1.forgivness does not mean condoning
2.forgiveness does not mean revisiting
3. Forgiveness doesn't have just 1 definition
1. Full Forgiveness
2.conditional Forgiveness (time can be rebuilt)
3.false Forgiveness
4.unforgivness
!!![Because of RELEASE we can heal without FORGIVENESS ]
OMG when she said a 12 year old girl was having a sleepover -- What the actual.... Dear God please protect children
Thank you for fighting for the ones that can’t speak up, YOU are a true hero.
this is so heart breaking, so many kids suffer in silence and it ruins their life. Thank you for telling your story. Im sorry your mom did not protect you , no one deserves to feel abandoned by the ones who should protect you.
One of the worst things in my abuse healing journey was being told I had to forgive too early. I was told the day my abuse was discovered. It made me feel that no anger or blame or anything could be felt towards my abuser, so I internalized it for decades. Now, in my 30s, I’m allowed to feel my anger towards the right direction and I’m feeling confidence and empowerment. Forgiveness is key but just as important is knowing WHEN and allowing yourself to not hold all the burden.
Has the abuser even asked for forgiveness? I mean, to me, forgiveness is maybe only given if asked.
Being numb for so many years and now using nothing except tools that l have been given from mental health groups I can now manage to get through a couple of days without reliving some traumatic memory and it feels good to be sober finally
@@unicornsrice1667 Forgiveness is not about the abuser being verbally forgiven. It is about the victim freeing themselves of resentment, hate, and anger to live a healthier life.
@@srldwg I actually don't believe that. There are people I have not forgiven, and my life is good and I feel free.
@@unicornsrice1667 I respect that. Only you know what you have been through, what these people put you through, and how they affected you.
I am sorry for whatever you went through.
I am so happy that you have cut people out of your life who only brought you pain.
Also, that your life is good and that you feel free.
I wish you happiness and joy for many days to come!
I'm so sorry you endured this. Too often children are not listened to and protected. You've done great work here!!!
I cried when you talked about forgiving yourself. Thank you for having the strength to help so many children including yourself 🌸
The Most important step towards healing 💞
"How do you forgive the unforgivable!" Thank for sharing your story and giving me STRENGHT
This woman is strong for standing up and saying this in front of a strange crowd. I give her all the Applause 🙏
We can survive. Forgiveness without justice? Is dangerous. Criminals need to be prosecuted. Victims need to know dangerous people are not roaming our streets. I know my abusers do not want forgiveness but permission to abuse us.
Our law enforcement, juries and judges need to pass sentences that keep these dangerous people behind bars.
I save my love for the people who saw me through troubled times.
Glad you shared your story because people need to know this is real. That we need to be supportive and create laws to protect children from this kind of abuse.
Thank you for sharing this with the world. My eyes wont stop tearing as somebody who knows exactly how it feels like. While our experiences are different, I need to let go of this constant pain.
🙏💙🌼 much love n care!!
Abuse causes non stop pain in the weirdest ways
I see you. I hear you. You are not alone ❤
I remembered the day I told my daughter that I believed her and I chose her, and since then, I have never stopped fighting for her to be heard. My body is tired. My mind is tired. But I will never give up on her.
Congratulations on Passing Tara's Law. Thank you Tara for teaching me to forgive myself.
Last week I told my mother that my older brother molested me several times, but she didn't believe me. I haven't talked to her since, and I hope I have the power to never talk to her ever again.
So sorry
i was in the foster care system from 2 years old till i graduated high school when i turned 18 I know EXACTLY how she feels.
I don't know how much it means coming from a stranger, but I am so proud of you for overcoming the circumstances that you were put in. Graduating highschool and escaping the system is a huge thing and you should be proud of yourself.
@@heehoopeanut420 thank you that means alot actually
Every Child Matters. Thank you, Tara, for speaking up for the most innocent among us. 🧡
emotion still overcomes her... i got chills in my spine...
I bow down to the fact of you putting in so much work and even had the balls to get that man into court. Thank you. I wish to do the same.
This young lady is so strong and brave. Glad to see she had stood up for herself and other victims. She’s making a difference. As a survivor myself trauma has been a challenge in my life. She gives me hope.
Sending love🤍
You are so amazing. I'm 62 and although I hold space for healing over the past 45 years for thousands of victims as a holistic self-care massage therapist, I have never told my story to the clan members. I know that it would not be heard. Only now am I forgiving myself for a lifetime eating disorder and not being able to connect with others. In my case it was the next door neighbor and as a latch key kid at four years old it was brutal. It is so common. I'm glad we are all speaking up and shinning a light to listen to the signs in our tiny ones. It's not what happens to us it is not having the support we need to take the time to heal. I love and appreciate you so much. Keep going you are helping us all.
Thank you for this. I am very lucky to have found a man, my husband, who really supports me and gives me safety and understandment in my healing yourney. I Wish and Hope that everyone finds the Safety and Peace to be able to start that healing! 🙏🙏🙏
Not to divert attention, BUT, a latch key kid at FOUR YEARS OLD?!? HELLO!!! Where were your parents? Didn’t you have a babysitter?!? Were you totally unsupervised?
I can only hope that I get the kind of justice that she got.
Cried without tears. I set myself free today .
"the one person you need to forgive is yourself" i never cried hard secretly in my work office desk. that hit me hard. thank you, tara.
Powerful deep and scary to know the ones protecting we’re also abusing children.
So much respect for her . It's not easy to come out and speak up about your own story in public. That takes a lot of courage. Kudos to her .
Your story revisit my trauma. The catholic Church was abusing me went to seek help from a 80yr old nun also named Tara then. She included more nuns n people with power. Here I am being still targeted. I pray for help from any where in our divine Universe. Thank you, bless you. All your dreams come true.
How are you now? Reading your comment a whole year later! 😊
I hope you grow to understand that the whole god myth is a lie. It gives power to the undeserving. Do not hand your personal power over to any mangod religion or it’s minions. All of the Abrahamic religions are created by men to subjugate women.
I was forced into being a Catholic and I found those people to be very abusive. My parents were horrible, very narcissistic. The Catholic Church has gone downhill even further and my advice would be to get out of it. Take it or leave it.
Same story...when will this trauma go away and i can forgive my mother? ! I love your story i cried😞
Much love n care!! 🙏💙🌺
Thank God!
Hopefully one day I will be brave enough to tell the story. Thank you Tara
I was abused and I never got gratification thank you for this....
Thank you Tara. The last thing you said really touched me. I have felt so much shame about myself for decades. I have hated myself because of what someone else did to me. Today, I'm forgiving myself.
Thank you so much.
I so needed to hear this. It's been so hard to live in shame and guilt and not forgive yourself.
Wow, you made changes. You are courageous. My mother promised me she would get a job and leave my dad, so I at age 11 I learned to catheterize my little sister so my mom could work and I got out of class my 5th and 6th grade class to cath her in kindergarten and 1st grade. My mother never left him until I was 23. I do not forgive her. She watched all kinds of abuse because she couldn't survive with a handicap child alone. She sacrificed me. I do not forgive her and have been in no contact mostly for 16 years.
What a strong woman! I honor your courage, Tara. Still a very long way in societies of our world, to gain Body Safety. Also Mind safety. We ALL are responsible to teach children that they are allowed to have borders and that only them own their body and mind. Live with respect to others and teach your children to dare to speak up against any type of authority.
What an intelligent and articulate woman. I'm very sorry for your trauma, and wish it had never happened to you. Sadly, this is all too common. The "justice" found for these victims, will never, ever equal the price the victims will pay, emotionally for the rest of their lives. There is no real "justice", that being equal, that you will find. "justice" is a see saw, that tilts one way or the other, never equal for each victim, never equal for each criminal. It is what it is, and what is left, is a victim who is traumatized and must deal with the nightmares, and emotional fallout of such acts. I feel your pain tara, and I'm a man, and former LEO. I wish you the full measure of what peace you can find and love from who you are with.
This should be way more viral
As a victim and mother of a victim thank you.
What a moving and gripping talk! Forgiveness is like Trust it is earned and it is not given freely! Some things are Unforgivable! But release and self-forgiveness is how we become more free. Beautiful. So true.
I struggle with forgiveness, how can you forgive when the abuser isn't sorry?
@@rosepatterson951 no need to. Just forgive yourself for the shame you felt for being a victim. The abuser has not earned forgiveness. You deserve to forgive yourself however.
@@therealdeal3672 I like that.
Thank you 🖤🖤🖤
Yes there must be sincere contrition on the part of the offender. Otherwise the cheap grace of instant forgiveness is meaningless.
What a strong and beautiful woman you are; your bravery at such an early age allowed for all the subsequent legislation to occur.
One of the most powerful and moving talks you will ever be blessed to listen to. What a heroic woman. Moved me to tears.
This just changed my life
Great teaching on the various kinds of forgiveness. Wonderful insights from a very brilliant woman. Heroic!
Brilliant, thank you. Ms. Lyons. I love the multiple versions of forgiveness and non-forgiveness. Thank you for all of your work.
Tara you are amazing and courageous. Hats off to you 💕
This should have way more views. I’m so proud of you sister. You are using your trauma to heal others. I am cheering for you and for changes to be made to protect our children. ❤
We all need to keep sharing this and encourage others to listen to this gut wrenching story and share as well.
I am so so sorry. My story is different but similar. I wish I could give you the biggest hug. You are so brave. And a beautiful mom. ❤️
We could hear the sadness and bravery at the same time in your sweet voice. Thank you for sharing you story, I wish to all of us healing, strength and lot of love and peace ♥
I'm bawling. (HUGS) you're definitely not alone. Thank you so much for sharing your story and working so hard to help other children. My mom stood by my step dad too. I haven't been able to forgive and just recently reached out for help.
I'm so sorry.
I’m so so soooo sorry. I can’t forgive my mom either. I understand that she’s been through a lot but she NEVER felt sorry about what she did. I don’t know how to forgive?
Much love n care, from fellow survivor!! 💙🙏
You don't need to forgive.
Seeing such a strong woman like you just gives me hope!
im a survivor & this was beautiful. i relate to your pain & am so inspired by how you’ve healed 💗thankyou for sharing this 💗
I really relate to this courageous story. I'm 50. The ensuing self destruction with drugs and alcohol. Extrapolating this out to the abusive parties I am wondering , what happened to them? Alternatively, have the baby boomers simply had a great experience: parents that built wealth, economically good times, a simpler family life? My experience is about parents that never "chose me" and often dashed my efforts. Absent, except to foil my best efforts. The issue, I think, is about mothers who have had still births etc and never been allowed to grieve, they married controlling 60s men. Ive often wished I was raised in an orphanage, is that weird? Thanks for this brave action
I'm 57 and just learned last year why my life has been such a mess and eventually exploded. I went insane last year. It's my parents, too.. They sound alot like yours and alot like so many of us from the GenX era of Benevolently Neglectful parenting.
I was SO AFFECTED listening to Tara today, I know there is still much more work to do to get better.
What an octopus of a nightmare.
My parents were the same and I’m a late boomer.
Dr Susan Ford wrote a book called toxic parent. She was adamant about how it is not mandatory to forgive your perpetrators. I think this is a refreshing perspective in the westernized world that has been watered boarded with religion and the concept of Duty towards parents irregardless of their atrocities. This speaks to the systemic problem of the lack of proper education for breeders who keep bringing more atrocities to the species that is human
I agree!
Forgiveness is for the survivors not the abuser. Unforgiveness is like drinking poison
Girl you're not alone, your story is a mirror of my own! Thank God, I'm not by myself. At least you were brave enough to go to the cops yourself. My friend did it fo rme, when my mom didn't believe me, i completely shut down. I'm paying high prices for that now and i'm seeking help. My drive for this, is now, i have a one year old daughter myself and i feel like i need to put her in a bubble to keep her safe.
Much love n care!!! 💙🙏
You must learn to let go of it now or your child in future will have other problems to think about as you would be passin it to your child by wrapping her in a bubble
Thank you so much for your bravery and fortitude to save yourself and help the rest of us! You are a warrior! DEEP WATERS!
I've recently realised that I will never understand the need for forgiving what God has not asked us to forgive. I feel like Ms Tara you have forgiven by bridging the gap for younger people who were once in your situation, by ensuring and taking it upon yourself to provide assistance to where the law has failed us. The definitions we use for "forgiveness" are colonial and imperialistic - they're not meant to resolve situations. Forgiveness is supposed to change people for the better, true forgiveness holds people accountable at all times and asks: how can I do better? I personally have rejected unhealthy definitions of forgiveness. Tara has forgiven, completely ❤️
"Choose them." I was able to hold it together until this part. Thank you so very much for your choice to be courageous, to empower yourself, to empower others. As a fellow survivor, THANK YOU.
Tara is such a kind soul. I have the privilege to work with her! ❤
God Bless you, so many of us are healing survivors. Went to court at 16 and it started at 14. Healing is a process,yes talk to your kids early. Fear of abuse is horrible. 🙏💕
Beautiful. Thank you Tara for all the incredible legislative work you've done, the public speaking, the awareness raising. You demonstrate the right and good kind of power and empowerment, and at so many levels: interpersonal, intrapersonal, community, government, legal. You are an inspiration.
Thank you for sharing hearing someone say it's okay if you can't forgive helps more than you know.
I was so happy for you to share this dark part of your life, and be able to shed light to everyone's eyes. I am so proud of what you have accomplished!
With much love,
Trayce
Tara you are also an indigenous woman,which means life in general for you is not safe but you are a survivor xx
My father also molested me and faced no consequences whatsoever, and I also plan to eventually share my story online like she did to get some type of justice for myself; her story gives me hope for my own journey of forgiveness and healing ❤
@Imber I'm sorry to hear that :(
Girl.. you are not alone in our state failure:( I love this. First talk I’ve heard from anyone from mt and it’s powerful! I don’t know one person who hasn’t been failed here and it’s weighing heavy
I am so very sorry you had to experience that and thank you so much for sharing your story. Also thank you for your courageous efforts towards building awareness and creating change so that these predators are held more accountable. You are incredibly brave! I have 2 girls and have been teaching them about body awareness since they could talk. The statistics are scary thanks for advocating for innocent kids who don’t deserve this! You are amazing 🌈
Thank you for championing laws to protect our children. You are so brave to tell your story and raise awareness. Bless you
Thank you, Tara, for your courage and your voice.
This is so helpful… it’s easy to get lost in the reasons why we’re traumatized, which keep us reliving the pain. Moving closer to the wound and acknowledging & clearing the dark energy that we’ve lived with our whole lives, is a new concept for me and I think it will be the key to freedom. Thank you 🙏
I absolutely wept listening to your story Tara! I said a prayer for you and I am so proud of you! 🤗❤️ So many children and adults will benefit for your use and bravery in using your voice.
When you're the victim and your entire life changes but you're made to feel like you're in trouble..
You're a great human being who deserves more out of this world.
It's beyond what I could have imagined when this talk first began.
BRAVO!
You've done a wonderful job of telling a story that so needs to be told: abuse is entirely too common.
Empathetically, thank you!
Thank you, Tara. Very powerful information on how to move on from the unforgivable. Release - not revisiting. Never heard this talked about. So many continue to victimize the victim putting them in a dryer spin telling them they cannot have happiness until they exhonorate their abusers with full forgiveness.
Thank you, describing the kinds of forgiveness helps. You are courageous.
You are AWESOME and brave!! Love to you for speaking your TRUTH!
“Angels with silver wings
Shouldn’t know suffering”
- Depeche Mode
profound talk. your curage, strength, perseverance and making the world a safer place for female. youre beautiful! thank you!
Thank you for sharing your story. You’re bravery is beautiful.
I too, know this path. Hopefully one day, I’ll be able to forgive me, and exonerate myself
There you go you go through the chemical dependency and everything "they think" that you should receive, thank you for your story. I'm absolutely disgusted with some of the people that were in my family, they still love their secrets quite a few are gone now. That takes a lot of courage Thank you the true ones make us look like we were in the wrong when we were kids, what a blessing to share this thank you
POWERFUL. God set you on this path so you could survive, overcome, and help protect children ~ God only knows how many children you have helped by sharing your story, actually taking action by helping pass laws as well as raising awareness in schools! God bless you and may He protect you and your family always. 😇 💕
Totally inspiring - thank you for sharing 💜
What do you mean ? I’m concerned when you say ‘perspective’ 💜
you brave woman - sorry for your pain xx
Powerful survival. 👏💪💯💢
Thank you for sharing. Helped me put my trauma into perspective
Blesd you, Zanelle.
So many emotions come up within this talk. My favorite message here lies within the actions taken to bring justice to all. Tara shares her strength, courage and commitment needed to make a positive impact in this world. All the while she displays her vulnerability, pain and suffering that we all may see how it's done. Thank you Tara for being a beacon of hope, honor and love.
I will take from this a lesson in forgiveness.. As I have more work to do to forgive people for mental & physical abuses... Thank you 💯🔥🙏
Oh Tara! Thank you for your bravery in choosing to tell your story! You are a true WARRIOR!! Keep shining, honey! We need you! Debra (WI Oneida) :-D
I'm proud of us, ma'am. ✨
I really admire her bravery.
Thank you for sharing your story, my story is very similar to yours. I now have 2 young girls and you reaffirmed that i should talk to them. THANK YOU. I send you light and a warm hug.
🙏💙much love n care!!🌺
Tara, you have no idea how you've touched my soul! I'm a survivor and I always struggle with forgiveness. I think I should, part of me wants to, but ... Thank you for your strength, that I also have on my good days. My mom just called as I was typing, I didn't answer her bc I just don't feel like it today. I'm 60 yrs old, I can make that decision. I still have some anger issues and I've found an amazing new therapist. I feel hope today so I thank you for that 💓
It's ironic how it's children who have to have mental health care for the parents' ills. Good for you for speaking out.