What to do when anxious thoughts are making sleep difficult and leading to insomnia
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ส.ค. 2024
- Sleep-related worry and anxiety is a primary driver of chronic insomnia - the more we worry about sleep, the more difficult sleep becomes, and the more difficult sleep becomes, the more we worry.
If you recognize that anxious thoughts and sleep-related worry are causing your insomnia, there are a couple of things you can do.
Related video:
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First of all, don't try to block these thoughts from entering your mind. Trying not to think about something is not only virtually impossible, but it takes a lot of mental energy and effort at a time when you should be relaxing and unwinding in order for sleep to happen (in addition, the mental effort involved in trying to suppress thoughts can be a big driver of fatigue).
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Second, try to identify the thought or thoughts that are making you feel worried or anxious. Next time you feel worried or anxious, ask yourself what was just going through your mind. Once you uncover the thought that is causing worry or anxiety you can evaluate the accuracy of that thought.
Related video:
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Very often, these thoughts can feel absolutely, indisputably, 100% true when we first think them. However, if we take a step back to evaluate their accuracy, we can often reveal a few "chinks in the armor". When we are able to recognize that these thoughts aren't entirely accurate, it can reduce their power.
The result is less worry, less anxiety, and better conditions for sleep.
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My name is Martin Reed and I am the founder of Insomnia Coach®. I offer sleep coaching services that give people with insomnia all the skills and support they need to enjoy better sleep for the rest of their lives. I also offer a free two-week sleep training course for people with insomnia at insomniacoach....
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All content found on the Insomnia Coach TH-cam channel is provided for informational and educational purposes only. It is not medical advice and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease, disorder, or medical condition. It should never replace any advice given to you by your physician or any other licensed healthcare provider. Insomnia Coach LLC offers coaching services only and does not provide therapy, counseling, medical advice, or medical treatment. All content is provided “as is” and without warranties, either express or implied.
The best think is not to react negatively to thoughts by checking, reacting and trying to control Because the more you do this the more you Teach Your Brain that X thing is very Important to you and it scares. Then because the brain tries to help you to survive it sends you those same thoughts over and over again to Check that you are fine. This is something super crucial , a game changer for me that i learnt from recovering from severe OCD.
Did you recover??
@@sa-nc3wp Yes.
this is extremely insightful
Were you able to sleep normally again?
Did you take any pills during that journey?
I love coming back to watch your videos when I’m in a bad state. haven’t slept in two days and it’s right back to your channel
More power to you. How are you doing now?
As someone who struggles with bad Sleep OCD, I can tell you 1) sleep drive always wins, trust me I would know 2) you’ll eventually stop thinking about it during the day if you stop tackling the thoughts and trying to challenge them. 3) start talking about the issue to family members or friends, talk about it all day and get it all out of your mind. I know it sounds counterproductive, but you’ll become so tired of talking about it that your mind will force itself to think of other things. I’ve tried it myself and it’s been so helpful. Talking about it all the time is really good for the compulsion and it sends signals to your brain that the problem is being taken care of internally. like when you talk about your problems in therapy it’s a big stress reliever and your able to do those triggering activities better. Same goes for sleep. I’ll usually talk about it till I just don’t want to talk about it anymore or until someone tells me to relax.
Thanks for sharing these great insights! When we move away from trying to fight or avoid wakefulness and the difficult thoughts and feelings that can come along for the ride, all these difficult things can start to lose their influence over us.
@@InsomniaCoach after a few good night back on to some bad nights, I woke up this morning to a break up text. so now I have an even worse time with sleeping and waking up
@@dodgdurango6128 That's tough, sorry to hear that. As human beings we will always experience difficult thoughts, feelings, and emotions from time to time - just as we will always experience difficult nights of sleep from time to time, too. When things are difficult, it's important to be kind to ourselves - because life is often hard and we can be a bit mean to ourselves when we find ourselves struggling. I wish you all the best.
Great advice definitely talking with someone helps thanks for sharing
Great advice, as someone who’s struggiling right now with severe sleep ocd I’m tryna face my compulsions but I just can’t, Im trying to beat the rituals but I keep succumbing to them. I don’t know what to do :(
One of the most interesting and mind curing thing you say is “you can sleep“ I love it !
I think it's an important reminder!
This was very helpful. . I realize that the best thing I could have done last night was just get up and do something enjoyable, instead of lying in bed trying to sleep, and feeling anxious.
Thank you. Your videos are putting me on a new path of dealing with insomnia. I will learn from watching them, I am sure.
I am so happy to hear this, Matilde!
How are you now?
Just purchased your course this week. You are the first sleep specialist that relieved my anxiety rather then making it worse. Thank you ❤
It's great to have you "on the inside", Ryan!
Thank you so much Martin! I just got a great night’s sleep thanks to your video. You are 100% right about not trying to sleep, when you stop trying it just comes naturally.
Great stuff! Thanks for sharing!
That's been a lot of what I've been struggling with ever since recovering from COVID, my sleep habits took a big hit and throwing in some other things that also happened in my life within that time frame, it added more stress & anxiety to it all. Being sleep deprived makes anxiety so much more difficult to deal with.
It's difficult, no doubt about it. I hope this video was helpful.
Such an underrated channel, thank you so much! I rewatch this video whenever I’m having a bout of bad sleep and it helps me chill out and just realize I sleep perfectly fine 95% of the time
I really appreciate you sharing that! Thank you!
Martin, you ve helped me so much.. battle not won yet, but so much more relaxed about it.thank you
I appreciate you sharing that! It's hard to "win" when we are engaged in a battle with things we can't control! Imagine how much energy might be freed up to do things that are important when we remove ourselves from the battle?
By day I don't react so much to thoughts anymore, however when I wake up at night.. for many months I spent whole nights in anxiety attacks. I have gotten better thanks to Claire Weekes' methods, however I still get anxious reactions when I wake up during the night (typically 3.30am) as my mind immediately starts searching for the worst things in my life, catastrophising, and my body believes them to be true.. burning skin, tingles, unease etc. Takes me an hour to calm down and fall back to sleep. Then I wake up a short while after and the whole cycle starts over. I am exhausted 🤯
I hear you! At times like that, it can be really helpful to simply get out of bed to do something more enjoyable instead! This will give your mind something else to focus on and prevent you from reinforcing a negative association between the bed and unpleasant wakefulness!
You might also want to give yourself 10-15 minutes during the day to think through those thoughts that tend to generate worry and anxiety during the night. If you can spend some time during the day identifying and evaluating them, you might be able to replace those thoughts (which often turn out not to be as accurate at first seem) with more accurate thoughts that won't generate quite so much anxiety at night.
I hope this helps!
Have you get over it?
Same
It’s been happening for 2 months
same here. we need those 8 hours of rest if only those thoughts went away
Hey Martin, I appreciate all the time you’ve put into these videos. I went from night shift to day shift with my job and I get up at 5am. When I’m off from work I sleep fine but the nights before I go into work I sleep horrible because I can’t get past the worry of having to fall asleep early bc of my early alarm clock. Whenever I think about it during the day I start to get bad anxiety that I won’t fall asleep and how awful I’ll feel the next day. I’ve been on day shift going thru this for the past 7 months now.
It sounds as though there's a bit of struggle going on between you and your mind! All those thoughts and feelings you describe come from a good place - your mind looking out for you. Sometimes, these thoughts and feelings get a lot more difficult (and powerful) when we try to fight or avoid them. An alternative approach might involve acknowledging them, perhaps even thanking your brain for looking out for you, and allowing them to exist rather than trying to control them - at the very least, not trying to control them might free up some energy and attention to do more of the things that matter to you.
@@InsomniaCoach thank you so much brother
@@JDS914 My pleasure! I hope there was something useful there!
Cool advice....I try this....Thanks martin
You're welcome!
Thanks! helped me a lot!
So happy to hear this - thanks for sharing!
Hi Martin. My heart keeps racing and my chest feels heavy when I am about to sleep. This would last the whole night. This makes it difficult for me to sleep. I had insomnia for a month but after finding your channel and listening to your videos, I was able to sleep for 5 straight days. But after that, I had 1 night of no sleep, and now this started happening. I tried different relaxation techniques but nothing seems to work. I feel like I’m back to square one. Any suggestions on what I should do?
Hello Daisyree! I'm not surprised that you didn't find relaxation exercises helpful - they can be helpful to build skill in relaxation, but they aren't intended to eliminate worry or anxiety or to make sleep happen. If there's no medical explanation for the racing heart and chest heaviness, they might be symptoms of heightened arousal/anxiety. These symptoms come and go by themselves, a bit like ocean waves - but if we try to fight them, suppress them, or avoid them, they often become like tsunamis! So, it might be helpful to make a bit of space for those difficult thoughts and feelings. Then, if being in bed continues to feel unpleasant, you might do something that might make being awake a bit more pleasant until conditions feel a bit better for sleep.
That exactly what happening to me at this moment
Thank you. This helped me very much. I moved into a new house and i keep thinking someone is breaking in. Its ridiculous but ever noise i think i hear has me jumping up to look.
I don't think that's ridiculous - you have a human brain that's doing its job and looking out for you! Thank goodness for that! Thanks for letting me know you found the video helpful!
Hi there, I have a bit of strange sleep disorder that I can't find a specific name for. I've had it since I was about 12 (42 now) and I remembered it was triggered by a storm which prevented me from going to sleep. Every night for about 3 or 4 months after that, every time I felt myself drifting off, I would be conscious of this and wake myself up. I ended up having to take sleeping tablets on that occasion but I have suffered from the same disorder periodically throughout my life. I generally sleep really well now and it has nothing to do with being unable to switch off, having racing thoughts or any of the other classic disorders that are mentioned- I know I am tired and can fall asleep easily. My problem is that I will literally on a random night become hyper aware of myself drifting off to sleep and wake myself up. Breathing exercises don't work because I feel anxiety whenever I take a breath and I get gas in my stomach! These bouts of insomnia tend to disappear on their own but I was wondering if there was a specific name for the condition that I have because I can't find it anywhere and I'm sure I'm not the only person who suffers from this. I'm learning to control these bouts but sometimes they get the better of me. Thanks
I am not a doctor so I can't offer a diagnosis but what you are describing doesn't sound like a specific sleep disorder - it sounds like it might be a symptom of hyperarousal.
@@InsomniaCoach Thanks for your reply, Martin
@@bananacat3873 You're welcome! You might also find this video helpful: Why you jerk yourself awake every time you try to fall asleep (and what to do about it) - th-cam.com/video/KFlxiXbYQag/w-d-xo.html
BANANA CAT & Insomnia Coach I have the same. You are not alone. I call mine brain hypnic jerks now I've found information on them. I have managed to clear them by getting myself to a state of knowing I am fine really, this has all been psychological and I can let it do its thing because I have such faith I am fine. But I do slip into them again esp now from about 4 am. I think the main thing for me is achieving a balance of trust and not caring. The not caring part is the bit I am working on and feels so hard 😕.
@@lucylight176 The brain naturally wants to care - that's its main job; to care for you and to look out for you! So, it might be helpful to notice when you are feeling concerned and perhaps to even thank your brain for looking out for you! We can't control the stuff our brain chooses to generate - and it's when we try to do so that we are most likely to get caught up in struggle!
Yes, I have stress, anxiety and depression, but my thoughts make no sense when I go to bed, they can be songs, prayers, thinking about things that don’t make any sense or matter, it’s like my brain just doesn’t know how to shut off and it’s constantly going and I can’t fall asleep for hours
Yes sir i dont know why we suffer
Try meditation just 10 minutes can help with your thoughts.
Thank You Martin Reed. I Subscribed.
You are the best 👌... most of you tubers mske us scared about sleep but u made it simple... can u solve my problem I dont have depression nothing I have but since 0neonth whenever I go to sleep I feel that everybody sleeping n I m thinking about sleep n it doesn't come when I turn off my mind I go to sleep ..what should I do ..plz help
Thanks for your kind words! I think you shared a big insight here - when you are trying to get involved in the process of sleep (when you put effort into sleep or put pressure on yourself to sleep) it seems to become a lot more difficult! It's not thoughts that stop sleep from happening - but our battle with them! If you allow your mind to do what it wants to do, you are no longer battling with your mind - and this can often make sleep a lot easier!
@@InsomniaCoach tnx dear you are best.....
fantastic video, very well done.
I would love to have you coaching these tips during meditation. food for thought.
Thanks for your kind words (and the suggestion), Jeff!
I have been trying to use mindfulness and acceptance at night but it’s a barrage of thoughts and then me saying “thank you” despite having accepted them they produce the body feeling without me. This goes on and on, it’s almost as bad as struggling? Does any one else have that, how can I combat it?
Thanking the brain for the thoughts it is generating is one way we can detach ourselves from our thoughts and recognize them as thoughts (nothing more and nothing less). There are many other techniques that can be helpful for this, too - you might find this resource (I am not affiliated with The Psychology Group) about "cognitive defusion" helpful: thepsychologygroup.com/defusion/
Remember that the goal is never to eliminate thoughts, feelings, or emotions - just to change our relationship with them.
@@InsomniaCoach Such a v helpful answer, thank you :)
@@lucylight176 I appreciate you letting me know you found that helpful! Thank you!
I'm currently having some insomnia issues. I'm practicing the sleep restrictions schedule and sleeping 5-6 hrs. (Going to bed about 11:30 pm). However, waking up early am... 5-6 am, and can't get back to sleep. How can I get past this? Thank you!!
Anxiety comes before the thoughts. Not the other way around.
I think it's easy to get caught up in a bit of a "chicken and egg" discussion here - but that would probably be nothing more than a distraction! It's not our anxiety *or* our thoughts that are the problem - they are normal and natural - it's our desire to fight or avoid them that gets us tangled up in an endless, exhausting, and distracting struggle. So, the "sequence of events" is largely irrelevant. You might find this newer video more useful: Our response to anxiety rather than anxiety itself can give insomnia the oxygen it needs to survive - th-cam.com/video/kuAZLX3dK3M/w-d-xo.html
Thanks
You're welcome!
Hello sir im from 🇮🇳 india
Im suffering 😔 anxiety with insomnia from last 6 months and still ongoing and If i fall asleep 😴 my mind , heart start racing and never feels a tiredness im still struggling to cope with this please may i get help from you this issue taking over my life PLEASE IM EXAUSTED
THANKSGIVING
saizad from 🇮🇳
What you have described sounds like anxiety that is being fed by a strong desire to avoid wakefulness. When we try to avoid wakefulness we put effort into sleep, put pressure on ourselves to sleep, and start battling with our minds. The end result is all the symptoms you've described, along with difficult nights of sleep. So, the solution is to move away from this - to be OK with wakefulness happening and to eliminate all efforts to sleep. If we can get to that point, sleep happens a lot more easily.
@@InsomniaCoach Thank you so much 💖 I'll work on it
@@saizadmehadi2507 You're welcome!
I think the people who are alone in life have more problems with sleep , it can be insomnia or somniphobia . Loneliness is the worst thing.
I’m seriously struggling with the physical sensation of my racing heart and automatic arousal in bed. Even with medicine to slow it down and breathing exercises it still races like crazy 😓 its harmless but such a big distraction from sleep
It sure is - and sometimes it becomes even more difficult and distracting the more we try to fight or avoid it, right?
Most of the videos on internet don't even get close to the topic when you have real, serious, yet unsolved scary issues in life that cause you night intrusive thoughts and/or anxiety.
I am thankful because this video slightly touched that problem. however I still have no idea what to do.
Would you mind making a helpful video for us?
If your experience suggests that it's not possible to permanently delete difficult thoughts and feelings from your mind, then allowing them to show up, to exist, and to come and go as they choose (without trying to fight or avoid them) might be a more workable way of responding to them.
@@InsomniaCoach Thank you for your answer Martin, I really appreciate it. Have a nice day🙏☀️
@@fireacross3249 You're welcome! I wish you all the best!
It is paradoxal, when you are already afraid of not sleeping. It is natural to react to a thought that tells you that you are not gonna sleep tonight. If you allow the thought and don’t get tangled with it, you still expérience anxiety or fear anyway because the origin of the thought is something you fear naturally. I don’t know how can someone practice this CBT technique … I tried it but my mind finds always thoughts that make me react. Have no choice to keep trying .. this is gonna be a great experience to learn how to control one’s mind
Thank you.
You're welcome, John!
Hey your videos and emails have really helped me through a bad month of insomnia. I have a question though.. what are your thoughts on insomnia and exercise ? Thanks
I am so glad to know you've been finding my videos and emails helpful! In terms of exercise, it's great for our overall health but it's not something that can generate sleep (only being awake for long enough can do that) and it's not something that perpetuates sleep disruption. Does this answer your question?
@@InsomniaCoach yes it does - I also agree. A very helpful piece of information I got from one of your videos is when you advised to still go about your daily activities/commitments after a rough night. Before I began watching your feed I took one day off work after a bad night and I felt inside that it was a bad idea. Not only because as the day at home passed I felt like I may have been able to face the day but also as you say, the insomnia won that day. When I just go about my days as I would having got adequate sleep by the time I am back to bed my sleep drive is so strong that I don’t even have the energy to be anxious about not sleeping . Thanks again always tuned in!
@@rashaunaraphael3666 That is such a huge insight - thank you for sharing, Rashauna! When we go about our days as normally as possible, regardless of how we sleep, we give our minds something to focus on other than sleep and we give ourselves the opportunity to recognize that we can have a good day (or at least some positive or OK moments) even after a difficult night - and this can help lower sleep-related arousal and create better conditions for sleep!
@@InsomniaCoach yes. That reminds me of something else I learnt from you that really helped. When you said that when an intrusive anxious thought about sleep happens instead of trying to dismiss it, disprove it. When those negative thoughts come I tell myself ‘even if I don’t get that much sleep tonight I can still get through tmr’ and with that small change in thinking I find myself getting to sleep much faster (sometimes even with sleep to spare!) Invaluable insight on this channel !
What if you are afraid of falling asleep? What if your body/mind is in constant fight/flight and does'nt want you to fall asleep?
Sleep will still happen once you've been awake for long enough!
For me I can’t lay down till about 3:30AM and go to sleep around 4:30AM. I get usually 7 hours of sleep but I just can’t get tired at a normal time. I deal with a anxiety disorder and am working on myself everyday but omg I’m sick of my sleep pattern. I’ve always been a night owl but this is to late and it affects my life. I’ve been trying to go to sleep 15 minutes earlier each night but I fail here and there. Is this normal with a anxiety disorder? And is it ok that I sleep so late??
When I'm trying to sleep but overthinking, my heart will beat fast and my chest is tightening I'm so scared i couldn't even sleep. Any tips?
I think it can be helpful to recognize that even though there are a whole lot of difficult thoughts going through your mind (and your body is trying to protect you by activating the "fight or flight" response) you are safe. Difficult thoughts tend to come and go in their own time - a bit like leaves on a stream - if we allow them to do so. If being in bed continues to feel really unpleasant, it might be worth getting out of bed to do something more appealing until conditions feel better for sleep.
Quite helpful ❤
Thanks for the feedback!
What if the thought is always true??
I am having trouble again. I was getting better after my heart attack. I think it got triggered again due to other life stress.
Ups and downs are all a normal part of the journey! My video on "relapses" might be helpful: th-cam.com/video/vuMR_nYuIsU/w-d-xo.html
My wife has insomniacs 😢😢😢. She need e everyday sleeping pill to fall a sleep.she has fear at night that she wont b able to sleep.she is frustrated. What to do now???
Need help my random thoughts are that how will I look if I sleep good younger and if I don’t sleep how old will I look or how old will I look if I sleep well I’m 32 years of age Im always worried about it I don’t know why it’s a really dumb thought I wanna get rid of it so bad
I can relate it so well. 😖
If you can relate, you know you have an opportunity to change things and improve your sleep for the long-term! I hope this gives you some encouragement and motivation, Saurabh!
Hey Martin I'm from Greece I want to ask u something . It was some days before 3 months that I have been through anxiety and my sleep was very light or no sleep .Now I'm better with anxiety and I sleeping good but my fear and the same thoughts are in my mind they don't leaving.How I approach that ? I don't know how I'm sleeping with these thoughts and fear,maybe it's because my body is calmer ? I don't know.But these my brain doesn't understand that I'm sleeping it keeps sending the same thoughts and fears
Hey I haven’t slept in days I need help
Thank u for your videos , ive been struggling with sleep last 4 weeks , been so anxious when bedtime approach and stressing about it , i know i make it worse bcz i stress about it , any tips ? I will be great full
It might be helpful to allow that anxiety to exist - to acknowledge it when it is present (rather than trying to fight or avoid it) and refocus attention on where you are and what you are doing (even in the presence of that anxiety). So, you allow it to come and go as it pleases. Much of the difficulty we face with anxiety is related to our attempts to get rid of it because it doesn't feel good - but that struggle often only makes things even more difficult and unpleasant.
@@InsomniaCoach thank u for ur replay , really ur videos change my mindset about sleeping and worry about it , i am less anxious less worry , still have bad nights , but trying to go with the flow and stay awake and sleep will come sooner or later
@@altaleb2282 Thanks for sharing - you are welcome!
Hi Martin
After I've slept, I feel my mindset changes a little, a little afraid of losing it. How to deal with this change of mindset and the anxiety that comes with it?
Well, we probably can't control our mindset - only how we respond to it. Perhaps we can continue to do things that matter, even when our mindset isn't where we want it to be? If we don't, what's the alternative?
So hey i just saw this video and i wanted to ask something.. but first I'll explain my situation. So basically is been 3 days since i wake up kinda early and the 2;3 day my sleep interrupts and night and the only way for me to fall asleep again is by distracting myself but sometimes it doesn't work. At day I feel like I won't fall asleep and it gives me anxiety. I also am diagnosed with anxiety disored so yeah. I wanna ask what can i do when i have those thoughts of not falling asleep and how can i fall back asleep when i wake up at middle of night? Is this a bad thing?
You might find this video helpful: th-cam.com/video/Q2tjMWvBaWs/w-d-xo.html
Hello sir, whenever my exams are 1-2 months I am anxious and I can't sleeo intermittently sometimes I can sometimes I can't and the very thought I won't be able to sleep makes me get palpitations at night your videos helped me a lot but the next day feels very tired and discouraging and the fear keeps on growing is there any way to help about it?
That's normal and is connected to our desire to make sleep happen/avoid nighttime wakefulness. You might find my podcast episode with Wayne helpful since his insomnia began when he was preparing for board exams: insomniacoach.com/wayne-sleep-friend-control-ep36/
Sometime i sleep so good and yesterday i was almost about to sleep then all of a sudden i just remember those days when i cant sleep and then the feeling-returned i am already facing so much in life can i just get a good sleep how can i kill that triggers
Sometimes we have difficult nights - they're a fact of life. What's important is how we react to them. We have a choice to make - do we do things that would move us away from the kind of life we want to live and implement behaviors that can perpetuate sleep disruption (such as going to bed earlier, staying in bed later, napping, canceling daytime plans, etc) or do we continue to do things that help us live the kind of life we want to live while implementing behaviors that help create/maintain good conditions for sleep?
Jesus Never Fails !!!
Santa Claus either 🙄
How do you change this worrying toughtd
I am not sure we can change the worrying, but we might be able to change how we respond to the worry.
I don't have anxious thoughts. I just don't sleep.
Every human being sleeps and it's not always anxious thoughts that make sleep difficult (although they are a very common trait among people with chronic insomnia).
can this also cause sleep paralysis?
It might - but we don't know for sure exactly what causes sleep paralysis.
If sleep is really uncontrollable then nothing should both help or make it worse as it’s suppose to be absolute automatic. Just more fraudulent information.