PLEASE make a formal complaint about the pharmacy. As medical professionals we are meant to "first do no harm." They were patronising, discriminatory and also negligent...
This is what I was SCREAMING in my head the whole time. Like she could have had a stroke because of not having her medication and they made no note or record that she, as a person with severe memory loss, is housebound. Her age has nothing to do with it. They were just flat out rude
As a pharmacist I was like wtf? Why on Earth would you even make your delivery list only for elderly people? Like wtf? Half the people we deliver to are definitely not elderly. They just can't make it into town for whatever reason. It's not even my place to question them. Like even if there's one or two that are just too lazy to come in, whatever. And how would I differentiate between someone being lazy or depressed? And not knowing whether you'd be delivered something or where the drugs are? I could ask my delivery driver about each individual customer she's been to that evening. The accounting people will know exactly where they moved stuff to. It's not like there's a thousand customers a day. Especially with someone calling in about a prescription several times. That's something that would get noted, especially when they tell us they are close to running out, cause we'd have to follow up with wholesale if the drugs can't be delivered etc. Like I thought I was bad when I couldn't remember a customers name when they came for pickup, and had to ask. but that pharmacy just seems very neglient. Oh btw, we'd only send in the GLV scripts to get reimbursed after the drug has been gone from the pharmacy, or it's been sitting in pickup for over a month, cause that's when we need to send the prescriptions in if we don't want to pay for them out of pocket. But in the German system the money only gets to you about 6 months after sending in your fulfilled scripts. And the accounting side of things is not connected to patient data anyway. So I couldn't even tell without some serious comparing numbers if we got paid for a specific case in the computer. That's just so extremely unfriendly of the pharmacy. Like you have a carer or someone functioning as that coming in, calling in, and you are basically just calling them a liar?!
Sarah G Actually after 10 days, insurance processes have gone through. That’s why pharmacy personnel call to remind you. When people don’t pick up on time their insurance has already paid for them. You can reverse it though but this is true for EVERY pharmacy. That being said, this pharmacy sucks!!!!! I would have gone mad.
@@Deeb22 actually, pharmacies are not a part of the NHS. They have ties to, and work with the NHS, but they are a separate place of business. So yes, it is entirely possible to sue a pharmacy for Negligence because they have a duty to look after you and your prescription. If they fail to do so then they are liable to a malpractice lawsuit.
"real memory loss is when you get to the top of the stairs and..." -dont remember why you were going up the stairs, I get that all the time. "... you feel like you have been going up and down the stairs for 20 minuts and don't know why." ok, yeah, that's different.
👏🏻 Recognizing differences in experiences is a huge set towards validity and visibility to any & all members of the disabled community, in my opinion! I have memory loss due to tonic-clonic seizures & also dissociation linked to my PTSD, but *my* memory loss looks different from Jessica's for sure. 💕
Ah, this! I don't have capital M memory loss but I lose memories and have issues with time (an hour feels like 5 minutes) with my mania. Sometimes I will repeat an action over and over again and have no idea how long I've been doing it.
@@reharm_reality Oh I think I know how you feel!! Literally brushed my hair for the whole 20 minutes of this video, putting it down a couple of times just to pick it up and continue brushing 😂 Also it takes me hooours to go take a shower etc as I just pace back and fourth to "prepare" for it but forget the things I walk back and forth to prepare, such as bringing only socks out to the shower and then realising "OH! I should've brought a whole outfit!", then returning to the bathroom with a top and bra and realising I still need something for my legs, then coming to the dresser and forgetting what piece of clothing I need to bring back OH LORD! 😂🙈 Just standing still to "collect my thoughts" makes my head go ALL empty so I just need to walk back and visually check what I'm forgetting all the time x3 . . . My cat thinks I want to play by the time i ready to take a shower as I walk around so "manicly" and I often need a lunch break before taking the actual shower when I'm sure everything is ready to go- and thén I start taking care of the dishes and kitchen counters when done eating, instead of rushing into the shower and get it over with(which is often a 15minutes-job but it takes me an hour+) . . . 😧😅 I feel like a worthless piece of goo who usually gets something meaningful out of roughly 2 hours of the day, probably . . . 😹🙈
"Oh, everyone forgets where they've parked at the mall!". Yes, but, do spend 45 minutes searching for your blue Mazda; call your adult son for help because, you now believe someone has stolen your blue Mazda; have your beloved son have to calmly, and lovingly, explain to you that you drive a silver Hyundai (and have done for a year)?! Note: I no longer have the ability to drive so, it's my husband's job to remember what car we currently own.
Daisy Blossom Barrett real life right here. Or that you took an Uber, or that your sister is in the store still shopping and she drove... if I don’t have my service dog I basically don’t have a car, because without her I have no idea where the car is. 🤦♀️
So, I also suffer from memory loss (still in the mild stages, but thanks to MS, that could change), and I genuinely thought I had forgotten what car I drove or where I parked it when it had, in fact, been taken. My complex had had my car towed because apparently I hadn't parked it properly and instead of following their 24 hour rule where they must notify me first, they just TOWED me. So I spent 2 hours walking along the parking lot, clicking my key fob and crying, thinking I had forgotten everything, when in fact, I hadn't!
I never remember what my brother's car looks like, but I don't have that bad of a memory, my memory issues have to do with working memory and short term memory, bc ADHD. But honestly, I hope in the future when cyborgs are a thing that you can just.... use tech to take a picture where your car is or something and identify it immediately because that would be a savior for a lot of people.
I present as normal but have brain damage, Eleplisy, shojrins and Adhd. I have a work history and I present so well. But why do you need extra support. Well I always had it it was called mum and dad. Still waiting to work and have a relationship with someone but I seem to put off alot of people due to i can't do that..
@@o0Avalon0o And when you depend on a pharmacy, have to leave your old one where they knew you for a new one, and they turn out to be condescending, absolute twat prats, when quite often it's humiliating, belittling and embarrassing when you're someone with a carrier bag's full of meds, as the case is with me... My God, so angry I can't even write a proper sentence... Awful doctors, nurses and other healthcare people, just walk a day in our shoes and see what it's actually like. To all the amazing, wonderful ones out there: THANK YOU!!! You make such a difference to a sick/disabled person when you're being nice, go out of your way or even just treat us like a "normal" person. It means the world.
in my German town the pharmacy offers home deliveries for everyone in need. And even if it's a small town they have several subsidiaries (the bakery has them too)
@Rachtop I always hear things like "How can you have such a low energy? How is it possible that your feet hurt? How can you get sick from that? You're too young for that. You're not old enough to..." I hate that honestly, of course I can get sick from drinking something, of course my feet can hurt, of course I can get tired, I don't need your permission for that, I don't need to be old for that...sorry for this rant, but I just get triggred about that easily
@Rachtop In my case it's not like I am sick, but during work for example I spoke with someone about me getting sick the day prior, how something upset my guts, I went to the bathroom multiple times and together with fatigue from work (after 2 weeks vacation) I got dehydrated and brutally tired, while not being able to fall asleep and that my head still hurts (about 9AM or so). "Come on, how can your stomach get upset, you're a young guy" ...sure, ok
My scariest memory loss moment was when I couldn’t recognize my own parents in public and I was having trouble walking and I needed them to support me on either side to help me hobble to the car but I didn’t actually KNOW them. They just seemed nice and knew my name (which I did remember oddly enough) and they kept telling me everything would be all right and I thought maybe if I stuck with them I might be ok but it was terrifying not to recognize my own parents at 23 and not be sure if someone was trying to kidnap me or something instead. I just had no idea what was going on and I will never forget how helpless and frightened I felt. Even 8 years later it reminds me of watching my grandfather go through Alzheimer’s and not always recognizing us. As scary as it was, it definitely made it easier to laugh off the little brain fog moments because as long as I knew who and where I was and I recognized my family, I figured I was having a good day even if I couldn’t string words together very well on that particular day.
During a seizure my wife won't recognize anyone, but there was 1 time in particular that was very scary. We were at a theme park and she had one after another and didn't recognize me or the kids. Lots of tears that day by all of us.
In moments like these i try to rely on emotions evoked by others. Its hard with the panic, but oftentimes the heart can remember what the brain cant, and it may be able to tell us that someone is trustworthy and a loved one. Idk how to explain it.
The entire thing with elderly people vs. Young disabled people makes me so mad. I get it too. My favourite is being told that I don't need my cane. Because I'm too young.
But that's honestly so stupid! Do the people that say that to you just expect you to not need a cane when you're told that you're young??? Where is the logic here?? I'm so sorry you have to put up with people like that.
@@Caroline28483 I think they think that it's 'flattering'. I have no idea why they think that, but it tends to be men older than me that are most prone to it. Not surprisingly, kids just accept it for what it is.
Oooh yes, I have had that a couple of times. It is so upsetting. As if my own age had not occurred to me yet, and now that I am reminded of it, I suddenly don't need my cane anymore..!
I was told by multiple doctors that I can't have the back problems I have because I'm too young. Being told your pain isn't real is one of the worst feelings in the world.
I was once told by a new doctor that I should “take a break” from my meds (which I’d been on for the past 8 years) for a couple of months while we waited for my referral to a specialist. Well, that “break” landed me in the emergency department and made me pretty much non-functional.
@@CarrieMK I stopped taking my thyroid medication after moving and changing doctors. After about a year, i went to my new doctor to get a new prescription, and they had my medical history, but apparently there wasn't one mention of my being on thyroid medication for over a year (before i stopped taking it), and regularly seeing my doctor for check ups every 6 weeks. After I persisted, she reluctantly re-tested my blood, and said "oh, you're borderline - you don't need to be on medication for that" and basically that was it. I'm also agoraphobic, so getting to the doctors was already extremely hard for me, so i didn't go again for another year or so, while my thyroid went further untreated and my symptoms worsened. I finally got up the will to go again, and this time saw a different doctor, and she looked at the SAME results and said "no, yeah, you definitely need to be on medication. With results like this i'm surprised you were even able to get out of bed." again - that's results from a year before, i was even worse by this point. I genuinely don't understand why that doctor was so adamant that I not be on thyroid medication, to the point where she would LIE and tell me i didn't need it. I've read online that there is no "set" number for what is low or high on the results and it is up to interpretation, but i think that means at borderline levels - the fact that my original doctor and my last doctor looked at my results and said "definitely low functioning" but the middle doc was like "i see no problems here" leads me to believe she was lying. It's funny because my friend, who has similar symptoms had the same doctor who tested her for hypothyroidism and said she was also "borderline" and "didn't need medication" and now she's got a new doctor that has retested her and surprise surprise, she was also fucking lied to. Some people shouldn't be allowed to be doctors. They're abusers. They're abusing their position of authority and presumed "safe person" status to hurt vulnerable people. If i believed in hell i'd hope there was a special place there for doctors like this.
@@SuperSimoholic I've had neglectful drs, but none that I know flat out lied. I'm angry for you. I have had hypothyroidism my whole life, and it's hereditary through my maternal line, but getting my childhood doctor to even run my labs to diagnose me was a nightmare and one of the few times my mom demanded that I get what I needed, but years later, when because of insurance issues I wasn't receiving medication, this same doctor told me that I was fine, even though my labs were clearly extremely abnormal. She never asked me how I felt physically, just assumed that my stoicism meant nothing was ever wrong and whenever I complained about pain, just disregarded it. Why the heck would I go to the Dr. if I felt fine, though? Because of that Dr, I avoided seeking out a new doctor for a long time. I finally got a new prescription years later, after becoming mostly bedbound and realizing my body was slowly and very painfully shutting down if I didn't get back on meds. I've had many Drs disbelieve me, until running my labs and seeing that my blood shows I'm not exaggerating or lying about how horrible I feel, but its still humiliating each time to know that the Dr. thinks you're just seeking attention when in fact you've been trying to manage to avoid the doctor and pretend everything is fine until you just can't even pretend at all.
@@SuperSimoholic Unfortunately that's far too often true. Especially in regards to hypothyroidism. Too many docs saying the range is normal (when it isn't), or that being borderline is "okay" and you don't need thyroid hormone (not true especially if you have Hashimoto's). Even my doc contradicts herself - she'll tell me that my levels are fine one visit, then too low the next. She also has NO idea that my Metformin meds affect my TSH. OR that she should be testing my free T4 and free T3 to ensure that my body is actually able to utilize the hormone I'm taking, not to mention she has NO IDEA what to do about my goitre......sigh.....yes it sucks. You have to constantly advocate for yourself and if necessary, (gently) confront your doctors, because if you don't, they tend to walk all over you. Sad but true.....
Wow, I had no idea that this was something you had to deal with on a daily basis. When you said that memory loss was reaching the top of the stairs and then crying because you think maybe you've been going up and down the stairs for 20 minutes and you don't know why, I got kind of tearful, because it's genuinely so scary and upsetting for me to just imagine that, and it's so incredible to me that not only do you live with that reality, you are also one of the most cheerful, upbeat, and delightful people I've seen.
I dissociate a ton and I could kind of relate to that.. of course its not that severe for me, and its a different thing, but it feels like its similar to when my brain sorta shuts down and isnt aware that im doing something until I ground myself, and it feels like I lose a certain amount of control over myself. Like im just watching from a corner in my mind doing something, but im not really aware im doing it until I think back on it or something. it is terrifying.
Awesome comment! 😊 My pharmacy delivers to me for free, no problem. Sometimes even when I hadn't paid yet (although they've got my payment info now), but I know my pharmacist by name and it's a small dispensary with personal service. Can't imagine having such strict restrictions for delivery. I would not hesitate to start mentioning legal action in front of people like this. Not something I would want to do hastily but it's amazing how fast people smarten up when they think they could be sued.
@@limeylemon1685 yeah I disassociate several times a day. To the point that my dog literally nudges me if I've been quiet and still too long. To others I look like I'm being lazy and/or useless. I am safe to be left alone though. On the issue of ablism. I'm high functioning ptsd which means that I appear to be in control. Intellectually I've always known the theory. That insight has caused several psychologists and psychiatrists over decades to tell me I'm doing well on my own and there's nothing they can do for me. Really. Like I can find the emotional energy to fix myself unsupported. I did find a brilliant counsellor who helped enormously, eventually. There's a lot of blindness to the needs of mental disability simply because it's not visible like a wheelchair or a white stick. Even to some of those who are allegedly trained to know better. I'm ranting. Sorry and all. Leaving this here for the insight to those who might want to learn. Just be patient with us.
I actually came to the comments looking for exactly this. I suffer from sporadic memory loss (and false memories,) -not enough to be fully disabling in itself, but a side effect of another mental disability -and I do find myself feeling gas lit by those around me. It's especially bad when it's coming from someone very close to me. Also very bad is the sensation of gas lighting _myself_ when I am absolutely sure I said or did a thing, and someone close to me is insisting that I didn't. Did I invent the memory? Or is the person I _should_ be able to trust gas lighting me? Or are they simply suffering from the normal kind of forgetting, which is awful, because I _want_ to be able to just forgive such a simple thing, but I can't, because for me, memories of even the stupidest, simplest things can seem SOOOO important! So I can't speak for Jessica, but yes. Gas lighting and the fear of it are awful. Also? THANK YOU JESSICA! I wouldn't wish memory loss on even the worst person, and you seem like one of the best people, but sharing yours is so kind and helpful for others who feel very alone in this!
I don't have memory loss but I am chronically ill and disabled, and what you said about disabled old people getting more help than disabled young people really spoke to me
Agreed, it's been suggested to me by a few of my Doctors that I should look into disability. A Disability attorney says it too hard to get approved at my age...she didnt even ask what disabilities I have.
I often get judged on public transportation when I don't offer my sit to the elderly. Since I don't always have my crutches with me, people assume that I'm able bodied since I am young. It gets even worse when I'm on sits reserved for the disabled or when I use the disabled parking spots.
Ayyy wtf is up with that pharmacy? Delivery notes - SIGNED delivery notes - are kept in dated folders which can be searched, ffs. If they're like this with you, then how stupid are they with elderly, "housebound" people? (Yeah, I'm pissed off now)
Yes! I don't work in a pharmacy but I work in logistics and signed delivery notes should be kept and easily acessible! How else can you check if the deliveries have been done???!
One of my favourite memory loss stories is probably when I started going to uni and because I moved to a different city/state I didn't know anyone. So in my one class we had to do a group project and a group of very lovely girls asked me if I want to join them. I said yes as they seemed very nice. All was well, I put sticky notes in my apartment, set an alarm for when I had to leave to meet them at the library and all of that to make sure I won't have any trouble at all. I go to the library and I'm proud of myself for not forgetting to go and having all the things I need with me. But then when I went into the library I realised... That I cannot remember a single name nor what they looked like. I was mortified and wanted to just go home and cry. I didn't have their phone numbers either so I couldn't look at profile pictures or ask them where exactly they are. But I got an idea. Like a lot puppy I walked past/towards all the people in the hallway thing in front of the library and hoped my group would recognise me. It worked out fine, one of the girls saw me and smiled "oh hey lory, we've been waiting for you" and I made up an excuse of "I got lost, I'm so sorry" They were super nice people by the way but I can't remember anything else about the project or what we did. I also wouldn't be able to recognise them today. Neither their faces nor their names. Which I guess is kind of sad but oh well.
I have a similar experience, though I don't think that I have memory loss. I had a problem with a school project so I wanted to ask the teacher about it. I was in front of the teachers room and than I noticed... Even though I'm in her class for over a year, I don't know her name or her face. So I ended up asking a friend which teacher is doing this subject. He told me a name and I ask for it on the door. I told that teacher my problem and.. She couldn't recognize me. It was the wrong teacher, and honestly so embarrassing.
How do you actually mamage to graduate with memory loss? I don't mean it in a mean why. It's just.... it's already hard wihtout memory loss. How do you get a degree stating that you "know things"? Do you remember something long-term if you repeat it enough?
@@NoctLightCloud I can only talk from the POV of someone who has DID. My memory in general is alright and I was one of the "gifted" kids who never had to study because I payed attention (with one ear) to what the teacher says during class and during the exam it's a case of teamwork. As in alters remember different things and especially when I'm in work mode they easily throw memories at me. When I'm in a social situation I'm anxious anyway and for some reason most of the time when I front no one bothers to update me on important information like who we're meeting, what they look like etc. It mostly just affects day to day life for me and not work/uni etc. I need sticky notes everywhere so I don't forget to take my meds, call doctors and what not. I can imagine that it's similar to people who just have memory loss without DID. Short term memory sucks but some things just get sucked straight into the long term memory, even if you don't repeat it over and over. No idea why and I'm sure it's different for others :)
@@MyNameMeansSheep Not the point. If they knew, whether the delivery occured or not, it would've been significantly less stressful and timr consuming for everyone
Thank you so much ! Also, I’m so sorry for the a**holes you had to encounter at the pharmacy ! My father has a heart condition and missing his pills could KILL him and we still have problems EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK !
Hiya there, it sounds as if you could benefit from a bullet Journal. In my experience it's just a constant where I know I can find anything including lists and calendar dates. Also your handwriting is amazing. ♥️
You might enjoy a memory planner! It’s similar to a normal planner but it’s designed for you to document what you do each day. Some even are compatible with Polaroid cameras so you can add photos to each day
Memory loss can be fun! How many people do you know that have read a book series for the first time 3 times? Or can successfully plan your own surprise party? (Me. I can and have done these things.)
@@KattLover5412 I can't finish one book because of this 😅 I write so many notes the few times i've tried but I just get bored with reading notes more than the book itself 😅 But I do enjoy how movies can seem new to me over and over again! Only childhood favorites is stuck in there, like the Disney classics and old episodes of care bears😂🙈
@Genesys Rodriguez my memory was affected by high dose chemotherapy as a child, and as such has left me with brain damage. I am aware of the hardships and frustration and pain that it brings, and I have had it used against me in highly traumatic ways. While it helps me to try and seek out the brighter side of memory problems that I cannot fix, I am sorry that my doing so has caused you any distress. EDIT: It wasn't until I was speaking to one of my siblings about this comment, but they have pointed out that I have also been diagnosed with CFS/ME
You'd think poeple who choose a medical profession would actually listen, but unfortunately it isn't always the case. Like when that psycho surgeon held me down on the operating table while cutting through me as I was crying , shaking, and telling him over and over I wasn't sedated. And he called me a liar. Said I wasn't hurt (yeah cause he knew better than me of course) Dude... why would I lie about that? I should have sued him for sure. I know now that it's abuse, plain and simple. But I was in such a shock that i repressed the memory hard.
That story infuriated me. As someone who has also dealt with colossal F up’s in my healthcare, the incompetence makes me crazy because it’s people’s health and lives that they’re dealing with, it’s NOT THEIR TAKEOUT CHINESE ORDER. Please update us with what comes of the complaint! They should seriously give you guys some sort of answer for that awful service.
As someone who works in a Chinese takeout im 90% sure I care about my service more than these people care about others lives and that bothers me a lot. My cousins grandmother had a heart attack and she was taken to the emergency room in a hospital and she died because they left her in the hall to wait with the other patients who had broken an arm or were there for some stitches
@@adriadam3296 That is so awful and infuriating, I know healthcare professionals are often stretched thin but this is why I feel like the distribution of wealth in the world is so messed up. Why does an athlete make a ridiculous amount of money but people have to die because they can't get access to care because there's just not enough resources.
ok, so I agree with you 100% ... BUT..(not saying this couple did it, also not saying customers does this)... Let's say its corporate. Corporate should remember that pharmacies or any health care services are not takeaway Chinese. Its someone's health. The problem with today is everyone wants everything fast.. Corporate companies now wants to advertise that their services are fast and " you should be done within seconds"... Its a standard in society, nowadays, that diagnosis and something that requires medications should also happen "fast". Rather be patient when a doc is busy with health care on a patient. AFTER ALL... you WANT them to take their time with you... ALSO... I would have bitch slapped that pharmacist... I've worked in a pharmacy I know the protocol... THAT WAS NOT IT.
As someone with a dissociative disorder, I relate to getting frustrated when people say “oh I have memory problems too” I’m just like: “NO!!” My memory loss isn’t as severe as Jessica’s, but it’s worse than the average person. I got lost in the middle of the walk home once because I just... suddenly forgot how to get home after living there for nearly a year. And it’s not a long walk, only 15 minutes, and like half of it is just a straight line. I forgot when my own birthday was for like a week once (not even like that was the week of my birthday, it was a random unrelated week). I’ve gone entire days where suddenly it’s the end of the day and I’m like.... what did I do today? Did I eat? I can’t remember eating but I think I ate something... maybe? What even happened? There’s been times where I didn’t recognize people that I knew I was supposed to know because my brain was like “you didn’t need that information, right?” There’s been worse memory lapses where I literally remember NOTHING but those are harder to describe. It’s hard to describe a lack of memory if you know what I mean lmao Yeah, memory loss is a thing, and it sucks. I’m grateful my memory isn’t worse than it already is, honestly
We're a system and related so hard. It's hard. The other day a little fronted who hadn't been around in ten years and didn't know that our grandma was dead even though she died four years ago. Sometimes we have no connection to the past or our memories at all. We've repeatedly not been recognizing our landlord. We get so time-disoriented. It's a lot
So I have a very specific type of memory loss called 'Several deficient autobiographical memory disorder', which basically means I have no real personal memories. Like, at all. I can't remember my grandma's face, or voice, or anything about her. I don't remember the first day of school, or the last day of school, or when I got my A-Levels. The way I always describe it is that my memory is written in basic bullet points (I went to Harry Potter Studios, I had a grandma and she died of cancer, I went to high school) and none of it is in order, and none of it happened to me. I am obsessed with taking photos and videos, and writing everything down because otherwise, I won't know about this in a few weeks. And it sucks, because I can remember that if you bang your head for hard enough and long enough, you can grow a horn, but I don't have a clue what I did for my last birthday.
Oh, I relate to this so much, I started therapy for ADHD and my therapist started asking me questions about situations and emotions related to them and I just have nothing, I normally remember that I did things and went to places (not always) but I have no recollection of what I did or what happened, I discovered people can picture memories in their mind and I was like "I guess I'm weird". I hate situations where my friends are remembering moments when we went out and I know I was there but I really can't remember anything that happened and it's so hard to explain that to people because I remember other things. I don't know if it's the same thing, maybe it isn't but your comment gave me new information, thank you!
...genuine question, do most people actually remember all those things?.. Because reading this comment all I could think was: I don't remember my grandpa's voice either, and I surely don't remember my first or last day of school, or any day of school for that matter. I've always thought it was 100% normal. I'm worried now...
@@valeriavagapova as a person with pretty good memory I can tell you that while sound of someone's voice is more something to recognize then to remember (exeption would be when words and voice are tightly tied together like, per exemple, song and lyrics), events we had strong emotional reactions to are more likely to be remembered then those that weren't anything special to you. So, if we say that you were completely indifferent to everything that happened to you in certain time period, your brain would decide it isn't worth remembering so it would be discarded. Also little things in present often can awake memories of events in the past that contained the same element, because healthy brain makes conections like that. If you know for fact that something important to you has happened in the past but you can't remember the event itself no metter the situation or amount of effort you put in (exept early childhood, we usually start remembering events long term around the age of 6), then you should probably consult, idk, some kind of specialist. I can't imagine someone going trough all years of school without some things being good or bad enough to remember. That being said, I'm not a special case or anything, my memory in good in a usual way.
@@valeriavagapova I don't remember first or last day of school but I have varied memories in school. I remember voices and faces but they're more general than distinct and detailed. What really matters is that you recognize them when you see them (not that people can't function without but that's certainly easier if you do). I also read that every memory you have is slightly distorted anyway. I think I read somewhere that your experience isn't too uncommon, but it isn't the norm either. You seem like you're functioning fine so don't worry okay? Keep asking questions and researching, see a professional, for your own knowledge about yourself.
@@valeriavagapova I guess it depends on when you started school (since you start at age 5 in some countries - i can remember big bits and pieces of mine but i was 7 years old), but not remembering your last sounds worrying to me... I remember AT LEAST a handful of things from every single year in school (and outside of it). I hope this gives you a reference point. Lord knows i don't have the best memory, so that's not it.
I had a seizure recently, as I have a history of seizures, and I told my fire fighter/EMT fiancé about all that happened when they got home from a work related trip and they threw me in the car and drove me to the ER even though it had been days since my "seizure". Turns out they were right. I had a TIA. I'm only 28 and I've had a type of stroke. I'm noticing my memory is crap...like awful...and my moods are crazy. I lost my FAVORITE ring and tore the house up all night and this morning. And today I missed my medication pick up and can't get them until tomorrow and I get extreme physical symptoms when I miss my meds for just a day. So I'm just sobbing on my bed, frustrated as hell, watching these videos....and wondering where my ring is and if I left it at the hospital or anywhere between.
What horrendous service. As someone who works in the NHS and chose to do so I could try help people in some small way (my role is non clinical) it boggles my mind how many horrible and rude people work in the field. I mean I get not everyone has my motivations but like I don't understand how they don't have any shred of empathy or just be decent people. It makes me so mad.
Thank you! We need paramedical, administrative and especially secretarial staff that are really dedicated, good at their job and who care about patients to keep these type of systems running. I couldn't do the care stuff without someone ready to take care of all the other stuff.
@@thewhiterabbitchaser The NHS is divided into hundreds of separate trusts and I'm not really sure how pharmacies even fit into that. Being in a separate city means there's probably nothing I could do but also even if I could I can't just take it upon myself to try to take action based on a youtube video, I don't even know what pharmacy they went to. I would at least need some contact I think from Jess or Claude but also as I am in no way involved in PALS or complaints I can't imagine I would again have any power or ability to help them. It's not as simple as working for the NHS.
@@Harrison_J_T that's fair, I live in a small state of australia where i know a lot of politicians and public servants due to the size, sorry! wasn't thinking
I mean, they dont even need to be particularly nice. Like, it's great if they're really kind and everything, but in fact, they just have to do their JOB. Which means they have to be aware of their RESPONSIBILITY because they're working in Medicine and that stuff is INPORTANT! and - depending on what medicine Jessica was missing for ... days, because they just didn't deliver it, - could be crucial for her health? It's literally their job to make sure people have access to their medication? And they just plainly failed to do that here? [Also, if they can't show you the little paper or digital thingy you sign when you receive a delivery, there is something seriously wrong with their bookkeeping?]
The way the pharmacy screwed you over like that is exactly how I felt when my soon-to-be landlord took the lease out of my hands when I told him I had a support animal.
Someone in the comments mentioned Finding Nemo and can I just say that the 2017 sequel Finding Dory had me broken up. (along with Christopher Robin for similar reasons) Being a Pooh, or a Dory doesn't change the meaningfulness of your life, and in fact makes you that much more valuable to the people around you because you remind them of genuine joy. Dory and Pooh are both people whose memory issues are very "irritating" and "cause delays" and the way they so perfectly portrayed Dory's on again off again ability to remember certain things was beautiful. I cried the entirety of both those films because it(Finding Dory)'s literally about how being differently abled doesn't say anything about your usefulness or your worth, and that the important things you've lost, you're capable of finding again in some capacity, some day. As someone with emotional memory problems, I very often forget I have legitimate problems that are justified, and that people have valued me etc etc. Pooh brought that back. I was upset at the same time, though, because I couldn't remember IF anyone had been helped by me and if so, WHY. I knew to be a Pooh is a perfectly wonderful thing, but surrounded by people who love me, I couldn't be sure their love for me was real, and I couldn't handle the idea that maybe, because I couldn't remember it, all the real important things the movie was telling me were actually all in my head and didn't exist in the "real world." I don't remember why I felt the need to comment any of this. Thank you for reading my ramble, I suppose. :)
I’ve had memory problems since I was a child. I struggled in school before smartphones because I would remember my homework maybe 25% of the time. I also have extremely vivid dreams, which makes it difficult to discern my dreams from memories. mine is a result of autism-related attention issues, brain fog (I’ve had chronic pain & nausea my entire life), and CPTSD. I have tossed drinks on my bed, thrown away important objects like my medication, boiled out countless pans of water, you name it. I try and take it day by day but it’s truly very frustrating and disorienting. one of my roommates also has memory & attention issues so we keep a big whiteboard calendar in our kitchen with all our important dates and reminders on it. if it weren’t for that and my phone, I’d be screwed.
Oh gosh, this actually just reminded me of my own personal experience... No I did not forget it... At all... But that actually makes so much sense!!! I remember being brought into detention countless of times because I never had a place to write down what I needed to do, leading me to forget my homework, to revise for tests, so on. Only after I got my first planner everything would fit into place and I developed a system so I could get all my work done. Still use that system today! (I'm gonna assume its the same system....)
Smartphones are such a lifesaver!! 🥰 But the worst problem is "out of sight out of mind"... 🤦🏻♀️ (I find microwaves are my absolute kryptonite... constantly putting a meal in to cook or thaw, & then finding it sometime the next day! 😂 Designers, please can we have transparent glass doors??)
"It's like a cube of emptiness inside of my mind that's never coming back." That heartbreaking moment when a freaking Cube Escape game depicts memory loss perfectly, and is accidentally (or perhaps intentionally?) mentioned in an unrelated video.
Hey I have memory loss too! I was diagnosed when I was nine though a lot of adults (mostly teachers) tried to tell me I was a faker or attention seeking. Really glad i found someone else with very similar memory issues. :)
It is so fucked up how people were treated back in the day for their disabillities (I know many of you live with it and would rather not call them disabillities) My grandmother is colourblind and she told me that one time they were going to draw something. She drew a piece of bread and coloured it green apparantly and the tree leaves brown. Which is correct in autumn. But you know, usually coloured green by kids. And her teacher picked up the drawing and made fun of her in front of the whole class. And I have heard so many stories like these. The fucked up thing is that this is still a thing. Where grown ups doesn't take children seriously. Of course, like wine and cheese, it has gotten better with age. But not knowing causes arrogance and teachers and pharmacists should know better today. But some or a lot doesn't. I am so sorry that you had to go through that with someone you should be able to look up to and learn from. I hope you are doing great today.
I'm so sorry about that. I wish you will have a good day and hope there will be more people understand and care about this serious problem and actually do something about it instead of criticize it :3 you are a wonder person
I got diagnosed with memory loss when i was 14 but because I also have dyslexia it was never written down and just pushed into the whole dyslexia thing. *sighs*
I also deal with memory loss, not to the same extent as you, but still severe enough that it regularly makes me cry. There are things that people tell me that I used to be able to do (like compose music) and I not only have lost the memory of how to do that thing but also the memory of previously being able to do them. I regularly forget what I was trying to say or even forget that I just asked someone a question when they answer me. I lose things all the time. It seems like it's been getting worse as time wears on, too. If I'm like this now while I am in my 30s, I am terrified at the prospect of it getting worse as I age. I try to use mindfulness to combat the fear, but I am still scared. Thank you for talking so honestly about memory loss. I don't feel so alone anymore. I'm sorry you have to deal with this too.
I feel the same way... I jokingly say that I suffer from "early alzheimer's" but I'm honestly worried about what my memory will be like when I'm 50, 60 or even 70... I'm 31 now.
That is so valid. I suffer from occasional disassociation during panic attacks and sometimes solid memory loss depending on the situation. Sometimes its upsetting to be sitting there and questioning what happened because you can't recall what happened. Even though I'm aware that my brain chooses to forget to protect me, it kind of feels like running away, and its even worse when medical professionals choose to ignore when you mention symptoms as important as memory loss. I do remember that I was at once crying, wondering to what extent my memory may deteriorate in the future since as a relatively young person, my memory is already questionable. But like Jessica said, a good thing is that you can forget the negative things and let go of it. And that puts me at ease. It's disheartening to hear that there are others that have to suffer like this but then again, I don't feel alone, and I hope you don't feel alone either! Good luck to you in the future my friend!
SO feel for the individuals in this thread!! The prospect of how both one's mental & physical symptoms of disability may deteriorate further as one ages is pretty terrifying... I find it's even more so if one lives alone & without anyone who's keeping a regular eye on you or able to help out? Awfully glad Jessica has Claude to provide loving support! Personally, really grateful to at least have a few good friends and family members living in town who I know will help a bit if needed? But then dealing with the feeling of being a burden on them and not able to do anything to help them in return is also very difficult to manage... 😔 One key thing for me seems to be trying to set up good patterns and habits now, to help keep life going as brain functionality dips. Having specific places for things & always putting them back there, using phone calendars & reminders, keeping a regular routine... Always easier said than done!! But can only hope ingraining those things now while brain is only intermittently glitchy may help provide some insurance against when things change in future...?
I nearly cried over the treatment you received. I have been told before that I've collected my pills when I never did as I waited for 20 minutes in the waiting room to collect them, I was so close to crying.
Same. I usually take them right when I get up after I eat breakfast but because of quarantine my schedule is so off because I don’t have work. So many days I have no clue if I took them or not
I don't remember 90% of my childhood. I'm 29, I don't remember most of last year. Or really any of my life. I remember key bits, and random things here and there, but overall it's one giant blur. The swimming in the ocean analogy was so spot on. There are memories I tried really hard to cling onto and now they're very muddy, or gone. I wish I kept a daily diary or something to help me remember. It'd be nice to know why I cry when thinking of a certain person, or get very confused when people say "OMG Heather I haven't seen you in years! How are you?" and I have no way of figuring out their name or why I know them without directly asking, which ends up sounding really rude.
So...I spotted this video on my home page and was like, "Oooh, I haven't seen this one!" Watched it on the telly and when I went to hit the like button, realised I'd already seen it when it first went up. Ironic memory loss moment? 🤣
strongly agree with everyone who's commenting about that horrible pharmacy, but I came here to say OMG how beautiful Jessica's hair is in this video! truly my ginger queen
I completely understand how frustrating it can be. I have memory loss due to epilepsy and a head injury, but I also suffer from Fibromyalgia Syndrome (so chronic pain and fatigue), also PTSD, and depression because of the loss of independence I have. I love that you are spreading the word of illness in young people especially regarding 'invisible illnesses'. Love your videos Janelle (Melbourne, Australia)
You described your problems very well. I am sick of the NHS not being able to work for anyone deemed out of the norm, yes young & disabled is a thing & we are entitled to the same services as old frail people. The fact that medical/disability service providers assume we are trying to acsess something we are not entitled to & are either ignorant or lying is annoying as hell. The fact that I am more disabled than you assumed is way more likely than I am lying. Disbelief from medical professionals has been far too common in my experience. Confirmation bias compounds the problem. I wish medical professionals read forums or watched videos like this to educate themselves Brave, open & frank Individuals like you help raise awareness of the actual problems disabled people face, thank you.
I didn't realize that having this thing where sometimes you remember things you just thought once as real events was like... A real thing. I've had so many issues with that, and other than being a little forgetful I don't have other memory issues, and people have always just told me I was faking so I could gas light people... Good to know
I have an awful memory, which is kind of sad because it wasn't always like this. I found out that high levels of anxiety can destroy neural pathways and cause memory loss. And for the longest time I went unmedicated for my anxiety and it just kept getting worse, so with it my memory went. I also don't really remember anything before the age of 12 and I attribute this to growing up in an abusive household. So there's that...
Well I'm in the middle of what you're talking about... The worst part is, no one really gonna help you even tho you're reaching for help. I was really good at memorizing stuff but now, I forget more and more things everyday, little by little. Idk what to do tbh. But at least there are someone who's going through the same as you. Anyways I hope you will get better and hope you have a wonderful day.
I've struggled with depression and anxiety for the longest time (undiagnosed) and I've also always struggled with my memory, and just learned that the two (or three) might be connected... :/ I'm finally in the process of maybe getting a diagnosis (I'm over 30 now)
I'm sorry for you. I've heard that this sort of memory loss can open up opportunities for nasty instances of gaslighting from a victim's abusers that can pile on more trauma and harm on top of the effects of the original abuse itself. In situations like this, abusers can treat the victim's memory loss as an argument from silence where since the victim cannot remember specific instances of abuse, it is therefore argued that the abuse never really happened and the victim is just falsely remembering things, or making things up to get attention or be manipulative.
Another nice thing about memory loss is that sometimes you find gifts! Oh, new sweater? I don't remember buying this but it's very soft, perfect. Oh, I don't know this song on my playlist, but it's very good! Now I know more songs! Oh, look, there's ice cream in the freezer! I don't remember buying it but hey it's yummy
I knew I had memory problems, but I never really considered that it could actually be considered memory loss. I do have neurological and cognitive differences, though it's not brain damage. I'm autistic and have ADHD, and have had mental illness my whole life. People talk about how anxiety and depression can affect memory formation, and that becomes really obvious when I consider that I've had depression and anxiety since early childhood. I have almost no memory of my childhood at all, and my memory of high school was spotty as it happened (an entire year was nonexistent by the time the next school year started). I also have suffered from night terrors and nightmares my whole life, and frequent hypnagogic hallucinations, false awakenings, and incredibly vivid dreams. The problem with this in regards to memory is that I'll have memories "replaced" with dreams, or believe a false awakening actually happened. The memory of these dreams, including nightmares, also significantly affects my relationships. Associations created in dreams are forced onto my real life perception, to the point that, for example, a dream involving a person being abusive (which I know for a fact never happened, because I had so few interactions with them previously) will cause me to panic when near this person, or be reminded of the traumatic dream and have it distract me. Then when I am awake, I'm frequently in a state of foggy dissociation or derealisation. Reality will feel like a dream, or everything will just feel "foggy", or I'll feel like I'm not really in my body. Then I'll fall into a daydream, or my mind will keep wandering, or I'll fall into hyperfocus and hours will have suddenly disappeared. I won't remember showering, eating, or cleaning, or feeding the cat. I'll forget what day it is, or will become totally convinced that an event is happening on a specific day when it's not. For example, recently I keep thinking that my course is on Wednesdays, and that I definitely went on Wednesday... but it's on Tuesdays. The past couple years I've been waking up on my birthday with no idea that it's a special day. And I lose everything. Calendar apps are a godsend. I keep a widget on my home screen, as well as a note widget where I write every little thing I have to remember. Alarms for my medications, alarms to eat, alarms to feed the cat. Alarms for events. I don't know how I survived without my phone. I've also recently found out about a dongle you can attach to your glasses so that you never lose them... I think I need that on everything.
The pharmacy thing made me furious. I'm glad you made a formal complaint. That's a horrible horrible experience. I'm so sorry that you both had to deal with such stupidity.
I've never seen or known anyone who has done the "remember these unrelated things and tell me what they are" thing as badly as me. As someone who's been fighting manipulative, unprofessional, and abusive doctors for diagnoses for the last 11 years, this was so affirming...
As a New Zealander, where the emergency number is 111, hearing "so we rang 111" said so casually is a bit jarring. I suppose it just shows how strongly we're trained to thing about those numbers.
It's strange how it's different in every country. In the USA it's 911 and in Germany it's 112 (110 is the police, I don't think we have a 111). Funny story: I once tried to call an ambulance and rang the police instead because I remembered the wrong the number. Then I hang up and was so confused about the numbers that I called my mom just to ask her what the number for an ambulance is. She told me and I said thank you and hang up. Then called the ambulance. At last I realized that I must have jumpscared my mom so I called her to tell her I was okay. It was a mess...
112 is the emergency services number in most countries: and added as a 'redirect' in many others. (Trivia: Just found out that the US was only able to add it for mobile phones, directly into the handset)
Interestingly, in New Zealand 911 (US) and 112 (most of the world) redirect to 111 while 999 (UK) and 000 (Australia) just go to a recorded message that tells you to call 111 instead. Why they can't just all redirect I have no idea.
This is me when my pills don't come in. This actually reminded me to pick my pills up tonight (That you're also not supposed to stop suddenly because seizure risk!) Bless you!
I have Dissociative Identity Disorder which results in dissociative fugues between parts and memory and time loss as a result. I can certainly relate to the feelings and hurdles discribed in this video. Thank you Jessica for shining light on the struggles surrounding memory loss.
@@Faeree We do our best to work to increase communication between each part so as to lessen time loss in the first place, and try to drive home the importance of consistent journaling and system communication, that way when I realize I have lost time I can look for any notes or signs that others were out, and try to piece together from there what we've been doing, where we are, why, etc.. It's harder for larger time loss. For instance, it's not uncommon to loose entire days or even weeks. I have zero memories from September of 2017, for example. But even then, it's much of the same: try and regroup and see if anyone has any helpful information, search for clued of what I've missed, and just hope for the best! Sorry for such a long reply! ❤️
@@TheKairosCollabrative no worries, thank you for that reply. I have similar problems, even so far as missing the majority of a year and I'm finding it hard to cope so any tips are appreciated. I wish you well on making things better and easier for you =)
50 First Dates is based off a real story. Not the part of the creepy dude pretty much taking advantage of her, but Drew Barrymore's character is based on a real life woman who keeps living the same day over and over again (I think from 1992) after an accident
That is the most frustrating thing for me is the, "Oh, me too! I'm so forgetful, teehee!" NO. JUST STOP! I don't want some neurotypical trying to be all nicey-nice and say that they forget things too. It is insulting. They do not understand what it is like to remember huge traumatic events that happened to me VIVIDLY, complete with smells, touch-input, and all in 4k... yet be unable to remember that I am cooking a simple recipe unless I am standing in the kitchen. Oh, and I mustn't forget to write down the ENTIRE recipe so that I can cross things out after I've put them in. I also have maybe a total of 20 complete memories from my entire life before 21 years of age. I always thought it was normal to be like that until I have a jumbled memory of someone asking me if I had watched Blade Runner before. I remember that, as I was answering, "No, I don't think I have", my mother piped up and said, "That used to be one of their favorite movies!". The best way for me to cope with this is to let it mildly upset me while I'm in a low-impact area (no people, someplace familiar) until I forget. That way, it doesn't turn into a traumatic memory if someone New™ comes along and starts asking questions.
Wow, non of this was "fun". But all of it was educational a eye opening. I'm so glad you have the support system you have and hope that everyone who needs it gets it.
I remember when trying a medication to treat my multiple anxiety disorders I had a period of a little over a month where I had memory loss. I always forgot what time it was, what class I had just been to, what I had eaten, what happened the day before, etc. this was sooo hard for me because I was in high school nearing midterms. We had to explain to all my teachers that my grades were probably going to drop (they did) because I wouldn’t be able to remember what I learned that morning let alone a full day ago (our classes ran every other day on a block schedule). It was one of the hardest months of my life. I hope that you are able to work around your struggles better that I was able to 😂 you are such an inspiration!
I love that you share this with us, and I am going to save this for reference. I'd love to hear from Claudia about how to be a supportive and thoughtful partner and advocate and giving care to someone with a disability of some description.
I kept have the issue of remembering medication. And not just remembering to take it, but also couldn't remember if I had taken it already. I tried everything from pill boxes to notes and finally I settled on an app that keeps giving you notifications until you've marked that you've taken your medication. It was really helpful for me because I'm the type of person who hates the little red notification dot on my phone so I would see the red notification on the app and go "what's this?" and then realize that I needed to take my medication. Did I always remember? No. Did I sometimes exit the app and completely forget what I was even on my phone for and repeat the cycle numerous times throughout the day until I stared at my phone and walked to get my medication? Yes. But it was really helpful and reminded me to take my medication, even when I didn't know what the notification was for initially. The app is Round Health in case anyone has a similar problem to mine!
Memory, especially short term memory, is important to maintaining relationships. That you Jessica and Claudia manage to work so consistently well together is an achievement in itself. I'm sure you have your off moments, we all do, holding onto the good feelings is as important to all couples as good communication. Glad to see it.
I've been waiting for a video just like this so that I can show my relatives to help them understand what it is like for me with memory loss. Thank you for this Jessica! Much love to you!
While mine is less acute, I suffer from short-term memory deficits as well. Thank you for sharing. It's nice to have such a good ambassador for those of us who simply look like we should be able to remember.
You put up with so much awful it's really inspiring. P.s. The ending to 50 First Dates completely skips over the pregnancy cause there's no way to show that process in a good light.
Betssy Lopez+ about the ending to that movie? Well, basically the final scene is on a boat... Alaska? Some kind of boat trip, the girl wakes up in the boat, finds a video that shows her all the things that happened between the ending and the rest of the movie, goes outside to find she has a husband, a 3-5 year old daughter, and her dad casually fishing off the boat. What they don't show are the scenes where she would wake up with a pregnant belly and no knowledge of how that would happen since she can't remember past a certain date.
Your video oddly makes me feel better. I've been diagnosed with dementia, thanks to an endocrine disorder. The panic that I feel when getting lost, or having people look at me like I'm an idiot, just yikes. It's so awful. It's amazing how relieving it is to hear others talk about it.
I get my medication by going to the doctor, he/she/they prints out a personalised form with my name and insurance info and the medication. I take it to the pharmacy and when they don't have it in stock, they order it from near by and I get a receipt and have to come back later or the next day. Once I misplaced my receipt and got to the pharmacy anyway, proved who I am and told them what I ordered. I got my medication, but only by signing for it (so that I can't come back later with the receipt and pretend that I haven't picked it up - this apparently happened at the pharmacy.) The lady was so nice and apologised for the precaution. But I was just happy that they are doing things right. This is how it's done! This pharmacy you went to is clearly doing some shady things and you are right to report them! And don't get me started on the disrespect and ageist s*** they pulled! I really do hope you can go to a different pharmacy now and don't depend on them.
I can relate to some of those as a person with inattentive type ADHD, even though it isn't nearly to the extreme that you have to deal with. For example, even with meds, my short term memory can really suck. A customer will ask to speak to the manager about something, or I'll need the manager to answer a question, then when I come back out I'll forget which customer asked me. I have to make extra effort to remember something that probably comes naturally to most people. Like, consciously note in my brain "lady with short grey hair and brown shirt." Meds help, but don't entirely eliminate, my memory issues.
As I was watching this I was walking around the house knowing I was meant to do something an hour later and I see my meds sitting on the table waiting to be taken. Oops
Dude. I just found you and am binge watching all your videos. That story about your pharmacy is flipping heartbreaking. I hope you did file a formal complaint and you found a far more reliable pharmacy!!
Pharmacies are incredibly finicky and it bothers the hell out of me. It sounds incredibly frustrating to have memory loss. Being slightly forgetful is not the same.
This comforted me as i struggle with a lot of disassociation. Personally i kept a memory boom but that’s only helpful if i remember or have the capacity to write in it.
I hate people's reaction to memory loss too. the 'Yeah, I'm always forgetting'. Er, Nope! I describe mine as a black hole that has eaten my memories. It feels like a hole in my brain too. I can feel it like you do. The forgetting the note is classic too!
I forget things a lot, but it's because of my ADHD. Things aren't entirely 'forgotten', I just don't have the ability to recall them on my own. I describe it as having all these memories stored on a high shelf. I know they're there, I know I know what's in them, but for the life of me I can't recall what they are. If someone else reaches out and takes one down off the shelf and hands it to me, THEN i remember what it was. I'll remember a general thing, "We went and saw a movie last week." "What film?" "I have no idea what it's called, it had these guys with magic and they were in space." "Space Wizards!" Then I instantly remember the film was indeed called that. But I still couldn't give you anymore details of it until someone else started describing a scene or a costume or something, then it will tug it up out of the depths of my mind. I'll totally forget again later though.
@@Palitato When I was a small child- maybe 8 years old- we had recently moved, and my new bedroom was on the opposite side of the hall, and so the bedroom door was on the opposite side of the room. I have a terrifying memory of the first night, waking up to use the bathroom. It was pitch dark, and I got up, and walked to the door... except it wasn't there. Just a blank wall. No part of my brain remembered, and so I panicked and in terror started fumbling along the walls, tripping over furniture that shouldn't have been there, until finally discovering the knob. I was so exhausted that I just slumped in the hall on the floor panting and crying for a long time. When I suffer memory loss issues now as an adult, it's a very similar feeling. the knob's not there. The memory is not there. I know it should be, but... nothing. Sadly ironic to retain the memory of that experience, but it's a perfect analogy.
Omg your story of getting the pills from the pharmacy was the closest thing to describing my migraine brain. Never really thought of it as memory loss but holy cow I've been through that exact scenario.
Hey Jessica! I can so relate w/ this. One of my learning disabilities is poor short-term memory. I was diagnosed w/ them at 19. Needless to say, it negatively affected my familial relationships, education, & self-esteem. Now, I have chronic pain & fatigue which only makes my memory worse. Thank goodness I have a wonderful partner that constantly helps, encourages, & supports me. Thank u so much for sharing your experience w/ this. I've shared this video to FB. I hope it will help others understand this condition & the stressors that come along with it. Take care of u, my dear.
Wow it’s so crazy to see other people’s situations and I’m so thankful that you’re able to share this with us and help yourself using this wall! You go girl, you’re beautiful!
Hi Jessica. Though this is an older video I finally remembered to come back to it and say thank you, as this video inadvertently changed the course of my life. I initially watched it when I found and binged your entire channel over a weekend. Despite not having any diagnosed conditions, I found myself relating to your descriptions of memory loss in a way that became increasing discomforting, as it made me realize that my struggle was not "just how everyone is". Lo and behold, I ended up being diagnosed with severe ADHD and finally having an answer to why I've always been like this. Thanks again for all of the hard work and time you put into creating your videos. You're a bright spot in this world and a fantastic educator.
So glad you're talking about this. It's not exactly a common dinner party topic but it is an important one. Different types of memory loss are fascinating to me. Like, I can't remember most of my formative years due to trauma. And that's weird. The fact that other people can remember- that's weird. But then my actual day-to-day memory is pretty good. It got shite when I stopped eating but now it's improved again. So there's a giant gap in my memory that everyone else has but it doesn't really affect my day-to-day life unlike many other types of memory loss. Always really good to learn about how other people are affected by these conditions and how to be more accommodating to everyone.
I have a photographic memory of my abuse. But spent my 6th year completely disassociated. Had Dissociative amnesia that year. It was after the abuse stoped. But I do have major memory issues to do with the right words for things/ spelling. I have dyslexia as well. No I'm being treated for my ptsd, some of the meds make me not in panic mode all the time. Its a struggle to adapt to a slower way of thinking. My brain is used to being on 24/7. Sometimes I forget what I did the day before. Or what I ate that day. But I can remember dates and things from when I was 2.
yeah i dont suffer from memory loss - but due to severe mental health problems by brain just removes things from stressful periods. there's whole chunks of my life i can't remember, which doesn't bother me coz they were shit! But I get very anxious during appointments, so by the time i've paid, booked another appointment and walked out the door i no longer remember anything i was told. My best trick is writing a short note on the back of my hand, with a longer version on a notepad. Or i just get the doctor (or whoever) to email me afterwards.
This is really helpful for understanding my grandmas memory loss after her stroke and makes it easier to help her through the day when I’m caring for her. Thank you, Jessica!
Tips for minor forgetting -Large Bullet journal -google calendar, try to write concise notes on your days happenings and accomplishments. -have a special place for keys & Id, mine clip together, so I always have them visible on their fridge hook at home, or when I'm out, they're clipped to my purse strap. -take many photos & videos. Even if you don't remember the event, they can still invoke emotion. -ask others to take pics & vids. - no matter how long it takes, train yourself to keep your smartphone on you at all times in your hand. If you also forget it's in your hand sometimes and you go running up the stairs, teach yourself to hold it with both hands. Now I hold it to my heart with both hands anytime I go running up the stairs, sometimes even if it's not in my hand. LOL
I know they're kind of silly, but I use a fanny pack for my phone, daily pill box, & inhaler. That way I don't have to worry about setting it down and forgetting to pick it back up.
recently (like a day ago maybe) the first ever person with Down syndrome finished uni and got BA degree in history in Ukraine where I am from. Turns out, it was actually banned in the 1970's in the Soviet Union for people with special needs to go to uni!!!! literally illegal. It was one of the many many laws Ukraine inherited from the Soviet Union. This makes me sick and I feel ashamed this is mad!!!
The fact that you now seem more concerned with the pharmacy's fraud than the fact they *literally endangered your life* is a testament to how goddamn awesome you are as a person.
Thanks for giving me loads of new information about memory loss! I will admit I didn’t know the difference between general forgetfulness and true memory loss before this video! Thanks for clearing the difference up for me! Also, I loveeeed all your outfits in this video (especially the beret hat) 😍
Thank you for sharing. Its sadly comforting but it gives me hope to see you are doing ok with even worse brain damage than I have. I think you are amazing and I am sorry people have treated you poorly
My brother and I were watching this video for about the 6th time. He has memory loss. I asked if he knows how many times he's seen it. He didn't know he'd watched it more than once. He likes it as much every time and relates to it lol
Shelagh Salisbury well I’m not Jessica but my opinion is that Dory is more a portrayal of dissociative/amnesic fugues rather than memory loss (even though that’s what the character calls it in the movie).
@@avery-brown I think actually finding dory goes into it more, and she does have a lot of genuine memory problems, but from what I can remember, it's not genuine loss, because the certain things that jog her memory, fully jog it in emotional detail. ... thinking about it now, that portrayal is the reason I love finding dory so much. It made me cry because it's literally about how being differently abled doesn't say anything about your usefulness or your worth, and that the important things you've lost, you're capable of finding again in some capacity, some day.
The pill story has just overwhelmed me with emotions due to the constant condescending nature of the general public, and the medical community. I try my best to always hid my conditions and the just struggle through my problems best I can on my own, because I too have had these interactions numerous times, and there's not much you can do to fight it. I hope you were able to switch to another pharmacy.
I do the same thing! Just yesterday I made the mistake of mentioning (among other things) that I couldn't work on a personal project because writing hurt too much. My colleague responded by saying 'Just use the voice software' which I told her I've tried and the ones I've used aren't great, to which she said 'pfft doesn't matter. You don't need to handwrite these days, and typing is just *mimes little finger movements*!' I tried telling her that it was the typing that was painful, but she just stopped listening. The whole conversation (which also included her telling me I'd wasted years of my life because my uni degrees couldn't get me a job) gradually spoiled my day, and my poor husband had to boost me up while I was in tears on the car ride home. "You're too young to have xyz going wrong with you! I'm 72 and limber!" Thanks Susan, for reminding me that my 29-year-old body works worse than that of an actual elderly person.
@@whodapole yep! These are the remarks I'm used too. But hey, at least you're safe here in communities online, and you haven't let your illness defeat you You're still doing your days the best you can, with lots of recuperating in between. Honestly she sounds like a narrow minded biach, and you deserve people like your husband, who may not be experiencing your symptoms but still supports you, emphasizes, and treats you as an equal. Wishing you the warmest heating pad!
I'm so glad you made a formal complaint and stood up for yourselves, that kind of treatment is absolutely ridiculous and so disrespectful. They need to be made aware that those actions can have real consequences on someone's life and health and the staff responsible should honestly be fired or retrained.
o0Avalon0o lots of notes. I use an app called Google Keep and make notes on everything. I also have a whiteboard where I write things that I need to find or look for in my messy bedroom when they go missing (seems stupid but is very helpful)
Imagine a bracelet with a notepad? I've been thinking about this for my nana for awhile now.. That way you could write it down right before you go to do it, and look down when you forget
Thank you for sharing. ❣ Makes me feel like I am not alone. Due to traumatic events I struggle with both short term and longterm memory loss. Your story has inspired me to look passed the negative. To keep on keeping on. ❤
We have a similar thing in Canada. 911 is our emergency, and 811 is a non-emergency line to call Registered Nurses. I only found out about it when I was 25 as well! You'd think they would make these things more known. Here in Canada our ER wait times (where I am, anyway) are LUDICROUS because people go in for things that aren't emergencies, then complain because they don't understand the concept of triage and have to wait hours to get a sore knee looked at.
heathermarmal I live in Ontario, Canada (and I’m 25!) and I’ve never heard of 811! That’s sounds like such a helpful service. Emergency room wait times are ridiculous so I try to avoid the ER like the plague.
heathermarmal I don't think we have 811 in Winnipeg. We have Health Links, which is a regular 10 digit phone number that connects you to a registered nurse. They can't do anything about prescriptions, but they are great help if you are having a health issue and don't know whether or not it needs to be checked out, or how urgently.
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PLEASE make a formal complaint about the pharmacy. As medical professionals we are meant to "first do no harm."
They were patronising, discriminatory and also negligent...
You're a beautiful queen and we need more people like you:")♡
Agreed. This made me so angry.
This is what I was SCREAMING in my head the whole time. Like she could have had a stroke because of not having her medication and they made no note or record that she, as a person with severe memory loss, is housebound. Her age has nothing to do with it. They were just flat out rude
This!!!
As a pharmacist I was like wtf? Why on Earth would you even make your delivery list only for elderly people? Like wtf?
Half the people we deliver to are definitely not elderly. They just can't make it into town for whatever reason.
It's not even my place to question them. Like even if there's one or two that are just too lazy to come in, whatever. And how would I differentiate between someone being lazy or depressed?
And not knowing whether you'd be delivered something or where the drugs are?
I could ask my delivery driver about each individual customer she's been to that evening.
The accounting people will know exactly where they moved stuff to.
It's not like there's a thousand customers a day.
Especially with someone calling in about a prescription several times. That's something that would get noted, especially when they tell us they are close to running out, cause we'd have to follow up with wholesale if the drugs can't be delivered etc.
Like I thought I was bad when I couldn't remember a customers name when they came for pickup, and had to ask.
but that pharmacy just seems very neglient.
Oh btw, we'd only send in the GLV scripts to get reimbursed after the drug has been gone from the pharmacy, or it's been sitting in pickup for over a month, cause that's when we need to send the prescriptions in if we don't want to pay for them out of pocket.
But in the German system the money only gets to you about 6 months after sending in your fulfilled scripts.
And the accounting side of things is not connected to patient data anyway. So I couldn't even tell without some serious comparing numbers if we got paid for a specific case in the computer.
That's just so extremely unfriendly of the pharmacy.
Like you have a carer or someone functioning as that coming in, calling in, and you are basically just calling them a liar?!
That pharmacy RISKED YOUR LIFE and still had the nerves to call YOU out! Oh how that makes me FURIOUS!
A little of black humour. So furious that you decided to write the complain? 😀
I would sue the crap out of that pharmacy. That is pure discrimination and a Giant risk to your health.
Not to mention fraud!
Its also an attack on a protected trait
You can’t just sue a pharmacy-_-
Sarah G Actually after 10 days, insurance processes have gone through. That’s why pharmacy personnel call to remind you. When people don’t pick up on time their insurance has already paid for them. You can reverse it though but this is true for EVERY pharmacy.
That being said, this pharmacy sucks!!!!! I would have gone mad.
@@Deeb22 actually, pharmacies are not a part of the NHS. They have ties to, and work with the NHS, but they are a separate place of business. So yes, it is entirely possible to sue a pharmacy for Negligence because they have a duty to look after you and your prescription. If they fail to do so then they are liable to a malpractice lawsuit.
"real memory loss is when you get to the top of the stairs and..."
-dont remember why you were going up the stairs, I get that all the time.
"... you feel like you have been going up and down the stairs for 20 minuts and don't know why."
ok, yeah, that's different.
👏🏻 Recognizing differences in experiences is a huge set towards validity and visibility to any & all members of the disabled community, in my opinion! I have memory loss due to tonic-clonic seizures & also dissociation linked to my PTSD, but *my* memory loss looks different from Jessica's for sure. 💕
Time dialation issues are... yeah I can't word that. What it does to your personal relationships is... yeah.
Yeah. It's wild.
Ah, this! I don't have capital M memory loss but I lose memories and have issues with time (an hour feels like 5 minutes) with my mania. Sometimes I will repeat an action over and over again and have no idea how long I've been doing it.
@@reharm_reality Oh I think I know how you feel!!
Literally brushed my hair for the whole 20 minutes of this video, putting it down a couple of times just to pick it up and continue brushing 😂
Also it takes me hooours to go take a shower etc as I just pace back and fourth to "prepare" for it but forget the things I walk back and forth to prepare, such as
bringing only socks out to the shower and then realising "OH! I should've brought a whole outfit!", then
returning to the bathroom with a top and bra and realising I still need something for my legs, then coming to the dresser and forgetting what piece of clothing I need to bring back OH LORD! 😂🙈
Just standing still to "collect my thoughts" makes my head go ALL empty so I just need to walk back and visually check what I'm forgetting all the time x3 . . . My cat thinks I want to play by the time i ready to take a shower as I walk around so "manicly" and I often need a lunch break before taking the actual shower when I'm sure everything is ready to go- and thén I start taking care of the dishes and kitchen counters when done eating, instead of rushing into the shower and get it over with(which is often a 15minutes-job but it takes me an hour+) . . . 😧😅
I feel like a worthless piece of goo who usually gets something meaningful out of roughly 2 hours of the day, probably . . . 😹🙈
@@reharm_reality when you say "my mania", do you mean that you are bipolar ? ^^
Or does other dissorders come with mania as well?
"Oh, everyone forgets where they've parked at the mall!". Yes, but, do spend 45 minutes searching for your blue Mazda; call your adult son for help because, you now believe someone has stolen your blue Mazda; have your beloved son have to calmly, and lovingly, explain to you that you drive a silver Hyundai (and have done for a year)?! Note: I no longer have the ability to drive so, it's my husband's job to remember what car we currently own.
Daisy Blossom Barrett real life right here. Or that you took an Uber, or that your sister is in the store still shopping and she drove... if I don’t have my service dog I basically don’t have a car, because without her I have no idea where the car is. 🤦♀️
So, I also suffer from memory loss (still in the mild stages, but thanks to MS, that could change), and I genuinely thought I had forgotten what car I drove or where I parked it when it had, in fact, been taken. My complex had had my car towed because apparently I hadn't parked it properly and instead of following their 24 hour rule where they must notify me first, they just TOWED me. So I spent 2 hours walking along the parking lot, clicking my key fob and crying, thinking I had forgotten everything, when in fact, I hadn't!
Aspen Butts that’s terrible! I would have reacted the same way. I’d be certain I just couldn’t remember where I left it
I never remember what my brother's car looks like, but I don't have that bad of a memory, my memory issues have to do with working memory and short term memory, bc ADHD.
But honestly, I hope in the future when cyborgs are a thing that you can just.... use tech to take a picture where your car is or something and identify it immediately because that would be a savior for a lot of people.
save parking on my Google maps is life changing.
I had a full blown panic attack today because I realized that I was missing a huge chunk of my memory. Thank you for sharing this.
I present as normal but have brain damage, Eleplisy, shojrins and Adhd. I have a work history and I present so well. But why do you need extra support. Well I always had it it was called mum and dad.
Still waiting to work and have a relationship with someone but I seem to put off alot of people due to i can't do that..
You may have disassociated
I am missing some parts of my life cuz that’s how my brain has decided to deal with traumatic events.
I have the same problem but there’s like no reason for me to have forgotten any of it, it’s just gone poof
Wow, the pharmacy story made me really upset. What terrible, rude people!! I can't English right now. Wow!
I know right? Treat people kindly, but this could've given her a stroke! She could've died! Sue those jerks! I hope their town has another pharmacy.
@@o0Avalon0o And when you depend on a pharmacy, have to leave your old one where they knew you for a new one, and they turn out to be condescending, absolute twat prats, when quite often it's humiliating, belittling and embarrassing when you're someone with a carrier bag's full of meds, as the case is with me... My God, so angry I can't even write a proper sentence... Awful doctors, nurses and other healthcare people, just walk a day in our shoes and see what it's actually like. To all the amazing, wonderful ones out there: THANK YOU!!! You make such a difference to a sick/disabled person when you're being nice, go out of your way or even just treat us like a "normal" person. It means the world.
in my German town the pharmacy offers home deliveries for everyone in need. And even if it's a small town they have several subsidiaries (the bakery has them too)
@Rachtop I always hear things like "How can you have such a low energy? How is it possible that your feet hurt? How can you get sick from that? You're too young for that. You're not old enough to..."
I hate that honestly, of course I can get sick from drinking something, of course my feet can hurt, of course I can get tired, I don't need your permission for that, I don't need to be old for that...sorry for this rant, but I just get triggred about that easily
@Rachtop In my case it's not like I am sick, but during work for example I spoke with someone about me getting sick the day prior, how something upset my guts, I went to the bathroom multiple times and together with fatigue from work (after 2 weeks vacation) I got dehydrated and brutally tired, while not being able to fall asleep and that my head still hurts (about 9AM or so).
"Come on, how can your stomach get upset, you're a young guy"
...sure, ok
My scariest memory loss moment was when I couldn’t recognize my own parents in public and I was having trouble walking and I needed them to support me on either side to help me hobble to the car but I didn’t actually KNOW them. They just seemed nice and knew my name (which I did remember oddly enough) and they kept telling me everything would be all right and I thought maybe if I stuck with them I might be ok but it was terrifying not to recognize my own parents at 23 and not be sure if someone was trying to kidnap me or something instead. I just had no idea what was going on and I will never forget how helpless and frightened I felt. Even 8 years later it reminds me of watching my grandfather go through Alzheimer’s and not always recognizing us. As scary as it was, it definitely made it easier to laugh off the little brain fog moments because as long as I knew who and where I was and I recognized my family, I figured I was having a good day even if I couldn’t string words together very well on that particular day.
During a seizure my wife won't recognize anyone, but there was 1 time in particular that was very scary. We were at a theme park and she had one after another and didn't recognize me or the kids. Lots of tears that day by all of us.
In moments like these i try to rely on emotions evoked by others. Its hard with the panic, but oftentimes the heart can remember what the brain cant, and it may be able to tell us that someone is trustworthy and a loved one. Idk how to explain it.
When did you start to remember them again?
The entire thing with elderly people vs. Young disabled people makes me so mad. I get it too.
My favourite is being told that I don't need my cane. Because I'm too young.
But that's honestly so stupid! Do the people that say that to you just expect you to not need a cane when you're told that you're young??? Where is the logic here?? I'm so sorry you have to put up with people like that.
@@Caroline28483 I think they think that it's 'flattering'. I have no idea why they think that, but it tends to be men older than me that are most prone to it. Not surprisingly, kids just accept it for what it is.
@@SarahBent kids are awesome, they haven't yet been polluted by our shitty society as much. And I'm sorry you have to deal with ableist dipshits 🤬
Oooh yes, I have had that a couple of times. It is so upsetting. As if my own age had not occurred to me yet, and now that I am reminded of it, I suddenly don't need my cane anymore..!
I was told by multiple doctors that I can't have the back problems I have because I'm too young. Being told your pain isn't real is one of the worst feelings in the world.
My god, ableism always feels 10x worse when it comes form healthcare "professionals" ☹️
Yup..
I was once told by a new doctor that I should “take a break” from my meds (which I’d been on for the past 8 years) for a couple of months while we waited for my referral to a specialist. Well, that “break” landed me in the emergency department and made me pretty much non-functional.
@@CarrieMK I stopped taking my thyroid medication after moving and changing doctors. After about a year, i went to my new doctor to get a new prescription, and they had my medical history, but apparently there wasn't one mention of my being on thyroid medication for over a year (before i stopped taking it), and regularly seeing my doctor for check ups every 6 weeks. After I persisted, she reluctantly re-tested my blood, and said "oh, you're borderline - you don't need to be on medication for that" and basically that was it. I'm also agoraphobic, so getting to the doctors was already extremely hard for me, so i didn't go again for another year or so, while my thyroid went further untreated and my symptoms worsened. I finally got up the will to go again, and this time saw a different doctor, and she looked at the SAME results and said "no, yeah, you definitely need to be on medication. With results like this i'm surprised you were even able to get out of bed." again - that's results from a year before, i was even worse by this point.
I genuinely don't understand why that doctor was so adamant that I not be on thyroid medication, to the point where she would LIE and tell me i didn't need it. I've read online that there is no "set" number for what is low or high on the results and it is up to interpretation, but i think that means at borderline levels - the fact that my original doctor and my last doctor looked at my results and said "definitely low functioning" but the middle doc was like "i see no problems here" leads me to believe she was lying. It's funny because my friend, who has similar symptoms had the same doctor who tested her for hypothyroidism and said she was also "borderline" and "didn't need medication" and now she's got a new doctor that has retested her and surprise surprise, she was also fucking lied to.
Some people shouldn't be allowed to be doctors. They're abusers. They're abusing their position of authority and presumed "safe person" status to hurt vulnerable people. If i believed in hell i'd hope there was a special place there for doctors like this.
@@SuperSimoholic I've had neglectful drs, but none that I know flat out lied. I'm angry for you.
I have had hypothyroidism my whole life, and it's hereditary through my maternal line, but getting my childhood doctor to even run my labs to diagnose me was a nightmare and one of the few times my mom demanded that I get what I needed, but years later, when because of insurance issues I wasn't receiving medication, this same doctor told me that I was fine, even though my labs were clearly extremely abnormal. She never asked me how I felt physically, just assumed that my stoicism meant nothing was ever wrong and whenever I complained about pain, just disregarded it. Why the heck would I go to the Dr. if I felt fine, though? Because of that Dr, I avoided seeking out a new doctor for a long time. I finally got a new prescription years later, after becoming mostly bedbound and realizing my body was slowly and very painfully shutting down if I didn't get back on meds.
I've had many Drs disbelieve me, until running my labs and seeing that my blood shows I'm not exaggerating or lying about how horrible I feel, but its still humiliating each time to know that the Dr. thinks you're just seeking attention when in fact you've been trying to manage to avoid the doctor and pretend everything is fine until you just can't even pretend at all.
@@SuperSimoholic Unfortunately that's far too often true. Especially in regards to hypothyroidism. Too many docs saying the range is normal (when it isn't), or that being borderline is "okay" and you don't need thyroid hormone (not true especially if you have Hashimoto's). Even my doc contradicts herself - she'll tell me that my levels are fine one visit, then too low the next. She also has NO idea that my Metformin meds affect my TSH. OR that she should be testing my free T4 and free T3 to ensure that my body is actually able to utilize the hormone I'm taking, not to mention she has NO IDEA what to do about my goitre......sigh.....yes it sucks. You have to constantly advocate for yourself and if necessary, (gently) confront your doctors, because if you don't, they tend to walk all over you. Sad but true.....
My favourite thing is that the first thing she remembered was the rainbow
🏳️🌈
that's how the gay brain works
can confirm that’s how the gay mind works
Maybe she's part leprechaun.
UP rise bois Pansexual
Mrs Martin nah she's gay
Wow, I had no idea that this was something you had to deal with on a daily basis. When you said that memory loss was reaching the top of the stairs and then crying because you think maybe you've been going up and down the stairs for 20 minutes and you don't know why, I got kind of tearful, because it's genuinely so scary and upsetting for me to just imagine that, and it's so incredible to me that not only do you live with that reality, you are also one of the most cheerful, upbeat, and delightful people I've seen.
There is honestly something really terrifying about it
I dissociate a ton and I could kind of relate to that.. of course its not that severe for me, and its a different thing, but it feels like its similar to when my brain sorta shuts down and isnt aware that im doing something until I ground myself, and it feels like I lose a certain amount of control over myself. Like im just watching from a corner in my mind doing something, but im not really aware im doing it until I think back on it or something. it is terrifying.
Awesome comment! 😊 My pharmacy delivers to me for free, no problem. Sometimes even when I hadn't paid yet (although they've got my payment info now), but I know my pharmacist by name and it's a small dispensary with personal service. Can't imagine having such strict restrictions for delivery. I would not hesitate to start mentioning legal action in front of people like this. Not something I would want to do hastily but it's amazing how fast people smarten up when they think they could be sued.
@@limeylemon1685 yeah I disassociate several times a day. To the point that my dog literally nudges me if I've been quiet and still too long. To others I look like I'm being lazy and/or useless. I am safe to be left alone though.
On the issue of ablism. I'm high functioning ptsd which means that I appear to be in control. Intellectually I've always known the theory. That insight has caused several psychologists and psychiatrists over decades to tell me I'm doing well on my own and there's nothing they can do for me. Really. Like I can find the emotional energy to fix myself unsupported. I did find a brilliant counsellor who helped enormously, eventually.
There's a lot of blindness to the needs of mental disability simply because it's not visible like a wheelchair or a white stick. Even to some of those who are allegedly trained to know better.
I'm ranting. Sorry and all. Leaving this here for the insight to those who might want to learn. Just be patient with us.
That's terrible imagine if Claudia wasn't there it's kinda gas lighting. That's really really horrible
You have the same name as meeee!!!!!
@@rebeccabrownie1437 That's really weird haha
I actually came to the comments looking for exactly this. I suffer from sporadic memory loss (and false memories,)
-not enough to be fully disabling in itself, but a side effect of another mental disability -and I do find myself feeling gas lit by those around me. It's especially bad when it's coming from someone very close to me. Also very bad is the sensation of gas lighting _myself_ when I am absolutely sure I said or did a thing, and someone close to me is insisting that I didn't. Did I invent the memory? Or is the person I _should_ be able to trust gas lighting me? Or are they simply suffering from the normal kind of forgetting, which is awful, because I _want_ to be able to just forgive such a simple thing, but I can't, because for me, memories of even the stupidest, simplest things can seem SOOOO important! So I can't speak for Jessica, but yes. Gas lighting and the fear of it are awful.
Also? THANK YOU JESSICA! I wouldn't wish memory loss on even the worst person, and you seem like one of the best people, but sharing yours is so kind and helpful for others who feel very alone in this!
I don't have memory loss but I am chronically ill and disabled, and what you said about disabled old people getting more help than disabled young people really spoke to me
Agreed, it's been suggested to me by a few of my Doctors that I should look into disability. A Disability attorney says it too hard to get approved at my age...she didnt even ask what disabilities I have.
"looking" disabled is a thing!
I don't "sound" disabled either but my dyslexia has surprised plenty of people into possible gaslighting.
I often get judged on public transportation when I don't offer my sit to the elderly. Since I don't always have my crutches with me, people assume that I'm able bodied since I am young. It gets even worse when I'm on sits reserved for the disabled or when I use the disabled parking spots.
Ayyy wtf is up with that pharmacy?
Delivery notes - SIGNED delivery notes - are kept in dated folders which can be searched, ffs. If they're like this with you, then how stupid are they with elderly, "housebound" people?
(Yeah, I'm pissed off now)
Yeah! I was wondering why they didn't JUST CHECK the delivery notes
Yes! I don't work in a pharmacy but I work in logistics and signed delivery notes should be kept and easily acessible! How else can you check if the deliveries have been done???!
One of my favourite memory loss stories is probably when I started going to uni and because I moved to a different city/state I didn't know anyone.
So in my one class we had to do a group project and a group of very lovely girls asked me if I want to join them. I said yes as they seemed very nice.
All was well, I put sticky notes in my apartment, set an alarm for when I had to leave to meet them at the library and all of that to make sure I won't have any trouble at all.
I go to the library and I'm proud of myself for not forgetting to go and having all the things I need with me.
But then when I went into the library I realised... That I cannot remember a single name nor what they looked like.
I was mortified and wanted to just go home and cry. I didn't have their phone numbers either so I couldn't look at profile pictures or ask them where exactly they are.
But I got an idea. Like a lot puppy I walked past/towards all the people in the hallway thing in front of the library and hoped my group would recognise me. It worked out fine, one of the girls saw me and smiled "oh hey lory, we've been waiting for you" and I made up an excuse of "I got lost, I'm so sorry"
They were super nice people by the way but I can't remember anything else about the project or what we did. I also wouldn't be able to recognise them today. Neither their faces nor their names. Which I guess is kind of sad but oh well.
I have a similar experience, though I don't think that I have memory loss.
I had a problem with a school project so I wanted to ask the teacher about it. I was in front of the teachers room and than I noticed... Even though I'm in her class for over a year, I don't know her name or her face. So I ended up asking a friend which teacher is doing this subject. He told me a name and I ask for it on the door.
I told that teacher my problem and.. She couldn't recognize me. It was the wrong teacher, and honestly so embarrassing.
How do you actually mamage to graduate with memory loss? I don't mean it in a mean why. It's just.... it's already hard wihtout memory loss. How do you get a degree stating that you "know things"? Do you remember something long-term if you repeat it enough?
@@NoctLightCloud I can only talk from the POV of someone who has DID. My memory in general is alright and I was one of the "gifted" kids who never had to study because I payed attention (with one ear) to what the teacher says during class and during the exam it's a case of teamwork. As in alters remember different things and especially when I'm in work mode they easily throw memories at me.
When I'm in a social situation I'm anxious anyway and for some reason most of the time when I front no one bothers to update me on important information like who we're meeting, what they look like etc.
It mostly just affects day to day life for me and not work/uni etc. I need sticky notes everywhere so I don't forget to take my meds, call doctors and what not.
I can imagine that it's similar to people who just have memory loss without DID. Short term memory sucks but some things just get sucked straight into the long term memory, even if you don't repeat it over and over.
No idea why and I'm sure it's different for others :)
Please make a formal complaint!! That was really horribly dangerous of the pharmacy!!!
Install some cameras. At least around the front door so you can check deliveries.
That's actaully such a good idea
Not a bad idea
yes do!
I can see how this is initially a good first thought but it puts the onus on her rather than the businesses/ people creating the barriers/ problems
@@MyNameMeansSheep Not the point.
If they knew, whether the delivery occured or not, it would've been significantly less stressful and timr consuming for everyone
Captions coming in a few hours! x
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard I have a question, have you guys been to the Most Curious Wedding Fair??? My mum is one of the few people who run it!!!
Thank you so much ! Also, I’m so sorry for the a**holes you had to encounter at the pharmacy ! My father has a heart condition and missing his pills could KILL him and we still have problems EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK !
Hiya there, it sounds as if you could benefit from a bullet Journal.
In my experience it's just a constant where I know I can find anything including lists and calendar dates.
Also your handwriting is amazing. ♥️
You might enjoy a memory planner! It’s similar to a normal planner but it’s designed for you to document what you do each day. Some even are compatible with Polaroid cameras so you can add photos to each day
x
Memory loss can be fun! How many people do you know that have read a book series for the first time 3 times? Or can successfully plan your own surprise party? (Me. I can and have done these things.)
I can't finish a book series, I just end up rereading the first one or two books over and over because I forget what happened by the time its over.
@@KattLover5412 I can't finish one book because of this 😅 I write so many notes the few times i've tried but I just get bored with reading notes more than the book itself 😅
But I do enjoy how movies can seem new to me over and over again!
Only childhood favorites is stuck in there, like the Disney classics and old episodes of care bears😂🙈
Love your positivity!
@Genesys Rodriguez my memory was affected by high dose chemotherapy as a child, and as such has left me with brain damage. I am aware of the hardships and frustration and pain that it brings, and I have had it used against me in highly traumatic ways. While it helps me to try and seek out the brighter side of memory problems that I cannot fix, I am sorry that my doing so has caused you any distress.
EDIT: It wasn't until I was speaking to one of my siblings about this comment, but they have pointed out that I have also been diagnosed with CFS/ME
That's an interesting but positive loophole :O
whats up im ready fight the pharmacy, i may have chronic pain but i burn with the anger of a former child that got into fights every day
saaaame
Please continue to get into fights! You seem to have the ability to pick the right ones.
You'd think poeple who choose a medical profession would actually listen, but unfortunately it isn't always the case.
Like when that psycho surgeon held me down on the operating table while cutting through me as I was crying , shaking, and telling him over and over I wasn't sedated.
And he called me a liar. Said I wasn't hurt (yeah cause he knew better than me of course) Dude... why would I lie about that?
I should have sued him for sure. I know now that it's abuse, plain and simple. But I was in such a shock that i repressed the memory hard.
Blume Shullman
Omg that must’ve been terrible
Wow that's some massive stuff
Damn. That is awful. I hope you're okay now.
That story infuriated me. As someone who has also dealt with colossal F up’s in my healthcare, the incompetence makes me crazy because it’s people’s health and lives that they’re dealing with, it’s NOT THEIR TAKEOUT CHINESE ORDER. Please update us with what comes of the complaint! They should seriously give you guys some sort of answer for that awful service.
As someone who works in a Chinese takeout im 90% sure I care about my service more than these people care about others lives and that bothers me a lot. My cousins grandmother had a heart attack and she was taken to the emergency room in a hospital and she died because they left her in the hall to wait with the other patients who had broken an arm or were there for some stitches
@@adriadam3296 That is so awful and infuriating, I know healthcare professionals are often stretched thin but this is why I feel like the distribution of wealth in the world is so messed up. Why does an athlete make a ridiculous amount of money but people have to die because they can't get access to care because there's just not enough resources.
ok, so I agree with you 100% ... BUT..(not saying this couple did it, also not saying customers does this)... Let's say its corporate. Corporate should remember that pharmacies or any health care services are not takeaway Chinese. Its someone's health. The problem with today is everyone wants everything fast.. Corporate companies now wants to advertise that their services are fast and " you should be done within seconds"... Its a standard in society, nowadays, that diagnosis and something that requires medications should also happen "fast". Rather be patient when a doc is busy with health care on a patient. AFTER ALL... you WANT them to take their time with you...
ALSO... I would have bitch slapped that pharmacist... I've worked in a pharmacy I know the protocol... THAT WAS NOT IT.
As someone with a dissociative disorder, I relate to getting frustrated when people say “oh I have memory problems too” I’m just like: “NO!!”
My memory loss isn’t as severe as Jessica’s, but it’s worse than the average person. I got lost in the middle of the walk home once because I just... suddenly forgot how to get home after living there for nearly a year. And it’s not a long walk, only 15 minutes, and like half of it is just a straight line. I forgot when my own birthday was for like a week once (not even like that was the week of my birthday, it was a random unrelated week). I’ve gone entire days where suddenly it’s the end of the day and I’m like.... what did I do today? Did I eat? I can’t remember eating but I think I ate something... maybe? What even happened? There’s been times where I didn’t recognize people that I knew I was supposed to know because my brain was like “you didn’t need that information, right?” There’s been worse memory lapses where I literally remember NOTHING but those are harder to describe. It’s hard to describe a lack of memory if you know what I mean lmao
Yeah, memory loss is a thing, and it sucks. I’m grateful my memory isn’t worse than it already is, honestly
We're a system and related so hard. It's hard. The other day a little fronted who hadn't been around in ten years and didn't know that our grandma was dead even though she died four years ago. Sometimes we have no connection to the past or our memories at all. We've repeatedly not been recognizing our landlord. We get so time-disoriented. It's a lot
So I have a very specific type of memory loss called 'Several deficient autobiographical memory disorder', which basically means I have no real personal memories. Like, at all. I can't remember my grandma's face, or voice, or anything about her. I don't remember the first day of school, or the last day of school, or when I got my A-Levels. The way I always describe it is that my memory is written in basic bullet points (I went to Harry Potter Studios, I had a grandma and she died of cancer, I went to high school) and none of it is in order, and none of it happened to me. I am obsessed with taking photos and videos, and writing everything down because otherwise, I won't know about this in a few weeks. And it sucks, because I can remember that if you bang your head for hard enough and long enough, you can grow a horn, but I don't have a clue what I did for my last birthday.
Oh, I relate to this so much, I started therapy for ADHD and my therapist started asking me questions about situations and emotions related to them and I just have nothing, I normally remember that I did things and went to places (not always) but I have no recollection of what I did or what happened, I discovered people can picture memories in their mind and I was like "I guess I'm weird".
I hate situations where my friends are remembering moments when we went out and I know I was there but I really can't remember anything that happened and it's so hard to explain that to people because I remember other things.
I don't know if it's the same thing, maybe it isn't but your comment gave me new information, thank you!
...genuine question, do most people actually remember all those things?.. Because reading this comment all I could think was: I don't remember my grandpa's voice either, and I surely don't remember my first or last day of school, or any day of school for that matter. I've always thought it was 100% normal. I'm worried now...
@@valeriavagapova as a person with pretty good memory I can tell you that while sound of someone's voice is more something to recognize then to remember (exeption would be when words and voice are tightly tied together like, per exemple, song and lyrics), events we had strong emotional reactions to are more likely to be remembered then those that weren't anything special to you. So, if we say that you were completely indifferent to everything that happened to you in certain time period, your brain would decide it isn't worth remembering so it would be discarded. Also little things in present often can awake memories of events in the past that contained the same element, because healthy brain makes conections like that.
If you know for fact that something important to you has happened in the past but you can't remember the event itself no metter the situation or amount of effort you put in (exept early childhood, we usually start remembering events long term around the age of 6), then you should probably consult, idk, some kind of specialist. I can't imagine someone going trough all years of school without some things being good or bad enough to remember. That being said, I'm not a special case or anything, my memory in good in a usual way.
@@valeriavagapova I don't remember first or last day of school but I have varied memories in school. I remember voices and faces but they're more general than distinct and detailed. What really matters is that you recognize them when you see them (not that people can't function without but that's certainly easier if you do). I also read that every memory you have is slightly distorted anyway. I think I read somewhere that your experience isn't too uncommon, but it isn't the norm either. You seem like you're functioning fine so don't worry okay? Keep asking questions and researching, see a professional, for your own knowledge about yourself.
@@valeriavagapova I guess it depends on when you started school (since you start at age 5 in some countries - i can remember big bits and pieces of mine but i was 7 years old), but not remembering your last sounds worrying to me... I remember AT LEAST a handful of things from every single year in school (and outside of it). I hope this gives you a reference point. Lord knows i don't have the best memory, so that's not it.
I had a seizure recently, as I have a history of seizures, and I told my fire fighter/EMT fiancé about all that happened when they got home from a work related trip and they threw me in the car and drove me to the ER even though it had been days since my "seizure".
Turns out they were right. I had a TIA. I'm only 28 and I've had a type of stroke. I'm noticing my memory is crap...like awful...and my moods are crazy. I lost my FAVORITE ring and tore the house up all night and this morning. And today I missed my medication pick up and can't get them until tomorrow and I get extreme physical symptoms when I miss my meds for just a day.
So I'm just sobbing on my bed, frustrated as hell, watching these videos....and wondering where my ring is and if I left it at the hospital or anywhere between.
I so hope you get solutions to your symptoms and health issues. Don't give up trying and I do wish you well.
What horrendous service. As someone who works in the NHS and chose to do so I could try help people in some small way (my role is non clinical) it boggles my mind how many horrible and rude people work in the field. I mean I get not everyone has my motivations but like I don't understand how they don't have any shred of empathy or just be decent people. It makes me so mad.
Thank you! We need paramedical, administrative and especially secretarial staff that are really dedicated, good at their job and who care about patients to keep these type of systems running. I couldn't do the care stuff without someone ready to take care of all the other stuff.
Also, why work on that field if you're going to be rude?? I understand not all people get to choose their work, but I you studied that... God, why?
@@thewhiterabbitchaser The NHS is divided into hundreds of separate trusts and I'm not really sure how pharmacies even fit into that. Being in a separate city means there's probably nothing I could do but also even if I could I can't just take it upon myself to try to take action based on a youtube video, I don't even know what pharmacy they went to. I would at least need some contact I think from Jess or Claude but also as I am in no way involved in PALS or complaints I can't imagine I would again have any power or ability to help them. It's not as simple as working for the NHS.
@@Harrison_J_T that's fair, I live in a small state of australia where i know a lot of politicians and public servants due to the size, sorry! wasn't thinking
I mean, they dont even need to be particularly nice. Like, it's great if they're really kind and everything, but in fact, they just have to do their JOB. Which means they have to be aware of their RESPONSIBILITY because they're working in Medicine and that stuff is INPORTANT! and - depending on what medicine Jessica was missing for ... days, because they just didn't deliver it, - could be crucial for her health?
It's literally their job to make sure people have access to their medication? And they just plainly failed to do that here?
[Also, if they can't show you the little paper or digital thingy you sign when you receive a delivery, there is something seriously wrong with their bookkeeping?]
The way the pharmacy screwed you over like that is exactly how I felt when my soon-to-be landlord took the lease out of my hands when I told him I had a support animal.
Don't tell them until you get approved then apply for accommodation
Someone in the comments mentioned Finding Nemo and can I just say that the 2017 sequel Finding Dory had me broken up. (along with Christopher Robin for similar reasons)
Being a Pooh, or a Dory doesn't change the meaningfulness of your life, and in fact makes you that much more valuable to the people around you because you remind them of genuine joy. Dory and Pooh are both people whose memory issues are very "irritating" and "cause delays" and the way they so perfectly portrayed Dory's on again off again ability to remember certain things was beautiful. I cried the entirety of both those films because it(Finding Dory)'s literally about how being differently abled doesn't say anything about your usefulness or your worth, and that the important things you've lost, you're capable of finding again in some capacity, some day. As someone with emotional memory problems, I very often forget I have legitimate problems that are justified, and that people have valued me etc etc. Pooh brought that back. I was upset at the same time, though, because I couldn't remember IF anyone had been helped by me and if so, WHY. I knew to be a Pooh is a perfectly wonderful thing, but surrounded by people who love me, I couldn't be sure their love for me was real, and I couldn't handle the idea that maybe, because I couldn't remember it, all the real important things the movie was telling me were actually all in my head and didn't exist in the "real world." I don't remember why I felt the need to comment any of this. Thank you for reading my ramble, I suppose. :)
I’ve had memory problems since I was a child. I struggled in school before smartphones because I would remember my homework maybe 25% of the time. I also have extremely vivid dreams, which makes it difficult to discern my dreams from memories. mine is a result of autism-related attention issues, brain fog (I’ve had chronic pain & nausea my entire life), and CPTSD. I have tossed drinks on my bed, thrown away important objects like my medication, boiled out countless pans of water, you name it. I try and take it day by day but it’s truly very frustrating and disorienting. one of my roommates also has memory & attention issues so we keep a big whiteboard calendar in our kitchen with all our important dates and reminders on it. if it weren’t for that and my phone, I’d be screwed.
Oh gosh, this actually just reminded me of my own personal experience... No I did not forget it... At all... But that actually makes so much sense!!! I remember being brought into detention countless of times because I never had a place to write down what I needed to do, leading me to forget my homework, to revise for tests, so on. Only after I got my first planner everything would fit into place and I developed a system so I could get all my work done. Still use that system today! (I'm gonna assume its the same system....)
Smartphones are such a lifesaver!! 🥰 But the worst problem is "out of sight out of mind"... 🤦🏻♀️ (I find microwaves are my absolute kryptonite... constantly putting a meal in to cook or thaw, & then finding it sometime the next day! 😂 Designers, please can we have transparent glass doors??)
I would make a formal complaint as well that is fraud quite literally wow I’m sorry I wish I could give you a giant hug
Seconding this.
"It's like a cube of emptiness inside of my mind that's never coming back."
That heartbreaking moment when a freaking Cube Escape game depicts memory loss perfectly, and is accidentally (or perhaps intentionally?) mentioned in an unrelated video.
Hey I have memory loss too! I was diagnosed when I was nine though a lot of adults (mostly teachers) tried to tell me I was a faker or attention seeking. Really glad i found someone else with very similar memory issues. :)
It is so fucked up how people were treated back in the day for their disabillities (I know many of you live with it and would rather not call them disabillities)
My grandmother is colourblind and she told me that one time they were going to draw something. She drew a piece of bread and coloured it green apparantly and the tree leaves brown. Which is correct in autumn. But you know, usually coloured green by kids. And her teacher picked up the drawing and made fun of her in front of the whole class. And I have heard so many stories like these.
The fucked up thing is that this is still a thing. Where grown ups doesn't take children seriously. Of course, like wine and cheese, it has gotten better with age. But not knowing causes arrogance and teachers and pharmacists should know better today. But some or a lot doesn't.
I am so sorry that you had to go through that with someone you should be able to look up to and learn from.
I hope you are doing great today.
I'm so sorry about that. I wish you will have a good day and hope there will be more people understand and care about this serious problem and actually do something about it instead of criticize it :3 you are a wonder person
I got diagnosed with memory loss when i was 14 but because I also have dyslexia it was never written down and just pushed into the whole dyslexia thing. *sighs*
@@acedragon1456 I have dyslexia too. Though my school wouldn't diagnose it cause 'you won't get any extra help anyway'. Sorry that happened to you.
@@BrigDeer I got 25% extra time on my exams for my dyslexia. I'm sorry that your school didn't make any allowances for it.
I also deal with memory loss, not to the same extent as you, but still severe enough that it regularly makes me cry. There are things that people tell me that I used to be able to do (like compose music) and I not only have lost the memory of how to do that thing but also the memory of previously being able to do them. I regularly forget what I was trying to say or even forget that I just asked someone a question when they answer me. I lose things all the time.
It seems like it's been getting worse as time wears on, too. If I'm like this now while I am in my 30s, I am terrified at the prospect of it getting worse as I age. I try to use mindfulness to combat the fear, but I am still scared.
Thank you for talking so honestly about memory loss. I don't feel so alone anymore. I'm sorry you have to deal with this too.
I feel the same way... I jokingly say that I suffer from "early alzheimer's" but I'm honestly worried about what my memory will be like when I'm 50, 60 or even 70... I'm 31 now.
That is so valid. I suffer from occasional disassociation during panic attacks and sometimes solid memory loss depending on the situation. Sometimes its upsetting to be sitting there and questioning what happened because you can't recall what happened. Even though I'm aware that my brain chooses to forget to protect me, it kind of feels like running away, and its even worse when medical professionals choose to ignore when you mention symptoms as important as memory loss. I do remember that I was at once crying, wondering to what extent my memory may deteriorate in the future since as a relatively young person, my memory is already questionable. But like Jessica said, a good thing is that you can forget the negative things and let go of it. And that puts me at ease. It's disheartening to hear that there are others that have to suffer like this but then again, I don't feel alone, and I hope you don't feel alone either! Good luck to you in the future my friend!
SO feel for the individuals in this thread!! The prospect of how both one's mental & physical symptoms of disability may deteriorate further as one ages is pretty terrifying... I find it's even more so if one lives alone & without anyone who's keeping a regular eye on you or able to help out? Awfully glad Jessica has Claude to provide loving support!
Personally, really grateful to at least have a few good friends and family members living in town who I know will help a bit if needed? But then dealing with the feeling of being a burden on them and not able to do anything to help them in return is also very difficult to manage... 😔
One key thing for me seems to be trying to set up good patterns and habits now, to help keep life going as brain functionality dips. Having specific places for things & always putting them back there, using phone calendars & reminders, keeping a regular routine... Always easier said than done!! But can only hope ingraining those things now while brain is only intermittently glitchy may help provide some insurance against when things change in future...?
I nearly cried over the treatment you received. I have been told before that I've collected my pills when I never did as I waited for 20 minutes in the waiting room to collect them, I was so close to crying.
“Don’t forget to take your pills”
Me remembering that I need to take my pills 😑
Lol I have an alarm, need it, still sometimes forget...
Same. I usually take them right when I get up after I eat breakfast but because of quarantine my schedule is so off because I don’t have work. So many days I have no clue if I took them or not
I don't remember 90% of my childhood. I'm 29, I don't remember most of last year. Or really any of my life. I remember key bits, and random things here and there, but overall it's one giant blur.
The swimming in the ocean analogy was so spot on. There are memories I tried really hard to cling onto and now they're very muddy, or gone.
I wish I kept a daily diary or something to help me remember. It'd be nice to know why I cry when thinking of a certain person, or get very confused when people say "OMG Heather I haven't seen you in years! How are you?" and I have no way of figuring out their name or why I know them without directly asking, which ends up sounding really rude.
So...I spotted this video on my home page and was like, "Oooh, I haven't seen this one!" Watched it on the telly and when I went to hit the like button, realised I'd already seen it when it first went up.
Ironic memory loss moment? 🤣
strongly agree with everyone who's commenting about that horrible pharmacy, but I came here to say OMG how beautiful Jessica's hair is in this video! truly my ginger queen
I completely understand how frustrating it can be. I have memory loss due to epilepsy and a head injury, but I also suffer from Fibromyalgia Syndrome (so chronic pain and fatigue), also PTSD, and depression because of the loss of independence I have.
I love that you are spreading the word of illness in young people especially regarding 'invisible illnesses'.
Love your videos
Janelle (Melbourne, Australia)
You described your problems very well. I am sick of the NHS not being able to work for anyone deemed out of the norm, yes young & disabled is a thing & we are entitled to the same services as old frail people.
The fact that medical/disability service providers assume we are trying to acsess something we are not entitled to & are either ignorant or lying is annoying as hell. The fact that I am more disabled than you assumed is way more likely than I am lying.
Disbelief from medical professionals has been far too common in my experience. Confirmation bias compounds the problem. I wish medical professionals read forums or watched videos like this to educate themselves Brave, open & frank Individuals like you help raise awareness of the actual problems disabled people face, thank you.
I didn't realize that having this thing where sometimes you remember things you just thought once as real events was like... A real thing. I've had so many issues with that, and other than being a little forgetful I don't have other memory issues, and people have always just told me I was faking so I could gas light people... Good to know
Yup it’s a thing
I have an awful memory, which is kind of sad because it wasn't always like this. I found out that high levels of anxiety can destroy neural pathways and cause memory loss.
And for the longest time I went unmedicated for my anxiety and it just kept getting worse, so with it my memory went.
I also don't really remember anything before the age of 12 and I attribute this to growing up in an abusive household.
So there's that...
Well I'm in the middle of what you're talking about... The worst part is, no one really gonna help you even tho you're reaching for help. I was really good at memorizing stuff but now, I forget more and more things everyday, little by little. Idk what to do tbh. But at least there are someone who's going through the same as you. Anyways I hope you will get better and hope you have a wonderful day.
I've struggled with depression and anxiety for the longest time (undiagnosed) and I've also always struggled with my memory, and just learned that the two (or three) might be connected... :/ I'm finally in the process of maybe getting a diagnosis (I'm over 30 now)
OMG! I have a lifelong struggle with anxiety and memory problems, had no idea they might be connected
I'm thinking there seems to be a correlation between the two.
I'm sorry for you. I've heard that this sort of memory loss can open up opportunities for nasty instances of gaslighting from a victim's abusers that can pile on more trauma and harm on top of the effects of the original abuse itself. In situations like this, abusers can treat the victim's memory loss as an argument from silence where since the victim cannot remember specific instances of abuse, it is therefore argued that the abuse never really happened and the victim is just falsely remembering things, or making things up to get attention or be manipulative.
Describing it like a cube of empty space is SO accurate!! That's exactly how I feel about all of the bits that are missing.
Another nice thing about memory loss is that sometimes you find gifts! Oh, new sweater? I don't remember buying this but it's very soft, perfect. Oh, I don't know this song on my playlist, but it's very good! Now I know more songs! Oh, look, there's ice cream in the freezer! I don't remember buying it but hey it's yummy
I knew I had memory problems, but I never really considered that it could actually be considered memory loss. I do have neurological and cognitive differences, though it's not brain damage. I'm autistic and have ADHD, and have had mental illness my whole life.
People talk about how anxiety and depression can affect memory formation, and that becomes really obvious when I consider that I've had depression and anxiety since early childhood. I have almost no memory of my childhood at all, and my memory of high school was spotty as it happened (an entire year was nonexistent by the time the next school year started).
I also have suffered from night terrors and nightmares my whole life, and frequent hypnagogic hallucinations, false awakenings, and incredibly vivid dreams. The problem with this in regards to memory is that I'll have memories "replaced" with dreams, or believe a false awakening actually happened. The memory of these dreams, including nightmares, also significantly affects my relationships. Associations created in dreams are forced onto my real life perception, to the point that, for example, a dream involving a person being abusive (which I know for a fact never happened, because I had so few interactions with them previously) will cause me to panic when near this person, or be reminded of the traumatic dream and have it distract me.
Then when I am awake, I'm frequently in a state of foggy dissociation or derealisation. Reality will feel like a dream, or everything will just feel "foggy", or I'll feel like I'm not really in my body. Then I'll fall into a daydream, or my mind will keep wandering, or I'll fall into hyperfocus and hours will have suddenly disappeared. I won't remember showering, eating, or cleaning, or feeding the cat. I'll forget what day it is, or will become totally convinced that an event is happening on a specific day when it's not. For example, recently I keep thinking that my course is on Wednesdays, and that I definitely went on Wednesday... but it's on Tuesdays. The past couple years I've been waking up on my birthday with no idea that it's a special day. And I lose everything.
Calendar apps are a godsend. I keep a widget on my home screen, as well as a note widget where I write every little thing I have to remember. Alarms for my medications, alarms to eat, alarms to feed the cat. Alarms for events. I don't know how I survived without my phone. I've also recently found out about a dongle you can attach to your glasses so that you never lose them... I think I need that on everything.
The pharmacy thing made me furious. I'm glad you made a formal complaint. That's a horrible horrible experience. I'm so sorry that you both had to deal with such stupidity.
Working in vet med... dealing pharmacy’s is very stressful.... “ 0h we never got that order..” I just talked to you yesterday!
Jessica is so inspiring. She is my icon (for style and confidence). Keep on doing what you've been doing it's amazing.
I've never seen or known anyone who has done the "remember these unrelated things and tell me what they are" thing as badly as me. As someone who's been fighting manipulative, unprofessional, and abusive doctors for diagnoses for the last 11 years, this was so affirming...
As a New Zealander, where the emergency number is 111, hearing "so we rang 111" said so casually is a bit jarring. I suppose it just shows how strongly we're trained to thing about those numbers.
It's strange how it's different in every country. In the USA it's 911 and in Germany it's 112 (110 is the police, I don't think we have a 111).
Funny story: I once tried to call an ambulance and rang the police instead because I remembered the wrong the number. Then I hang up and was so confused about the numbers that I called my mom just to ask her what the number for an ambulance is. She told me and I said thank you and hang up. Then called the ambulance. At last I realized that I must have jumpscared my mom so I called her to tell her I was okay. It was a mess...
It was even weirder calling 111 as a Kiwi living in London. They were super helpful though!
112 is the emergency services number in most countries: and added as a 'redirect' in many others.
(Trivia: Just found out that the US was only able to add it for mobile phones, directly into the handset)
Interestingly, in New Zealand 911 (US) and 112 (most of the world) redirect to 111 while 999 (UK) and 000 (Australia) just go to a recorded message that tells you to call 111 instead. Why they can't just all redirect I have no idea.
Fun fact calling 911 in the UK redirects to 999
This is me when my pills don't come in. This actually reminded me to pick my pills up tonight (That you're also not supposed to stop suddenly because seizure risk!) Bless you!
I have Dissociative Identity Disorder which results in dissociative fugues between parts and memory and time loss as a result. I can certainly relate to the feelings and hurdles discribed in this video. Thank you Jessica for shining light on the struggles surrounding memory loss.
The Kairos System I have DID too!!!!
I have probably osdd and I feel similar
How do you cope with time loss
@@Faeree We do our best to work to increase communication between each part so as to lessen time loss in the first place, and try to drive home the importance of consistent journaling and system communication, that way when I realize I have lost time I can look for any notes or signs that others were out, and try to piece together from there what we've been doing, where we are, why, etc.. It's harder for larger time loss. For instance, it's not uncommon to loose entire days or even weeks. I have zero memories from September of 2017, for example. But even then, it's much of the same: try and regroup and see if anyone has any helpful information, search for clued of what I've missed, and just hope for the best!
Sorry for such a long reply! ❤️
@@TheKairosCollabrative no worries, thank you for that reply. I have similar problems, even so far as missing the majority of a year and I'm finding it hard to cope so any tips are appreciated. I wish you well on making things better and easier for you =)
50 First Dates is based off a real story. Not the part of the creepy dude pretty much taking advantage of her, but Drew Barrymore's character is based on a real life woman who keeps living the same day over and over again (I think from 1992) after an accident
Haha thanks for pointing out he was creepy
Jessica looks very pretty with straight hair
That is the most frustrating thing for me is the, "Oh, me too! I'm so forgetful, teehee!"
NO. JUST STOP! I don't want some neurotypical trying to be all nicey-nice and say that they forget things too. It is insulting. They do not understand what it is like to remember huge traumatic events that happened to me VIVIDLY, complete with smells, touch-input, and all in 4k... yet be unable to remember that I am cooking a simple recipe unless I am standing in the kitchen. Oh, and I mustn't forget to write down the ENTIRE recipe so that I can cross things out after I've put them in.
I also have maybe a total of 20 complete memories from my entire life before 21 years of age. I always thought it was normal to be like that until I have a jumbled memory of someone asking me if I had watched Blade Runner before. I remember that, as I was answering, "No, I don't think I have", my mother piped up and said, "That used to be one of their favorite movies!".
The best way for me to cope with this is to let it mildly upset me while I'm in a low-impact area (no people, someplace familiar) until I forget. That way, it doesn't turn into a traumatic memory if someone New™ comes along and starts asking questions.
Wow, non of this was "fun". But all of it was educational a eye opening. I'm so glad you have the support system you have and hope that everyone who needs it gets it.
I remember when trying a medication to treat my multiple anxiety disorders I had a period of a little over a month where I had memory loss. I always forgot what time it was, what class I had just been to, what I had eaten, what happened the day before, etc. this was sooo hard for me because I was in high school nearing midterms. We had to explain to all my teachers that my grades were probably going to drop (they did) because I wouldn’t be able to remember what I learned that morning let alone a full day ago (our classes ran every other day on a block schedule). It was one of the hardest months of my life. I hope that you are able to work around your struggles better that I was able to 😂 you are such an inspiration!
50 First Dates is kind of a horror movie.
I love that you share this with us, and I am going to save this for reference. I'd love to hear from Claudia about how to be a supportive and thoughtful partner and advocate and giving care to someone with a disability of some description.
I kept have the issue of remembering medication. And not just remembering to take it, but also couldn't remember if I had taken it already. I tried everything from pill boxes to notes and finally I settled on an app that keeps giving you notifications until you've marked that you've taken your medication. It was really helpful for me because I'm the type of person who hates the little red notification dot on my phone so I would see the red notification on the app and go "what's this?" and then realize that I needed to take my medication. Did I always remember? No. Did I sometimes exit the app and completely forget what I was even on my phone for and repeat the cycle numerous times throughout the day until I stared at my phone and walked to get my medication? Yes. But it was really helpful and reminded me to take my medication, even when I didn't know what the notification was for initially. The app is Round Health in case anyone has a similar problem to mine!
Memory, especially short term memory, is important to maintaining relationships. That you Jessica and Claudia manage to work so consistently well together is an achievement in itself. I'm sure you have your off moments, we all do, holding onto the good feelings is as important to all couples as good communication. Glad to see it.
I've been waiting for a video just like this so that I can show my relatives to help them understand what it is like for me with memory loss. Thank you for this Jessica! Much love to you!
While mine is less acute, I suffer from short-term memory deficits as well. Thank you for sharing. It's nice to have such a good ambassador for those of us who simply look like we should be able to remember.
You put up with so much awful it's really inspiring.
P.s. The ending to 50 First Dates completely skips over the pregnancy cause there's no way to show that process in a good light.
what do you mean?
Betssy Lopez+ about the ending to that movie? Well, basically the final scene is on a boat... Alaska? Some kind of boat trip, the girl wakes up in the boat, finds a video that shows her all the things that happened between the ending and the rest of the movie, goes outside to find she has a husband, a 3-5 year old daughter, and her dad casually fishing off the boat. What they don't show are the scenes where she would wake up with a pregnant belly and no knowledge of how that would happen since she can't remember past a certain date.
Your video oddly makes me feel better. I've been diagnosed with dementia, thanks to an endocrine disorder. The panic that I feel when getting lost, or having people look at me like I'm an idiot, just yikes. It's so awful. It's amazing how relieving it is to hear others talk about it.
I get my medication by going to the doctor, he/she/they prints out a personalised form with my name and insurance info and the medication. I take it to the pharmacy and when they don't have it in stock, they order it from near by and I get a receipt and have to come back later or the next day. Once I misplaced my receipt and got to the pharmacy anyway, proved who I am and told them what I ordered. I got my medication, but only by signing for it (so that I can't come back later with the receipt and pretend that I haven't picked it up - this apparently happened at the pharmacy.) The lady was so nice and apologised for the precaution. But I was just happy that they are doing things right. This is how it's done! This pharmacy you went to is clearly doing some shady things and you are right to report them! And don't get me started on the disrespect and ageist s*** they pulled! I really do hope you can go to a different pharmacy now and don't depend on them.
I can relate to some of those as a person with inattentive type ADHD, even though it isn't nearly to the extreme that you have to deal with. For example, even with meds, my short term memory can really suck. A customer will ask to speak to the manager about something, or I'll need the manager to answer a question, then when I come back out I'll forget which customer asked me. I have to make extra effort to remember something that probably comes naturally to most people. Like, consciously note in my brain "lady with short grey hair and brown shirt."
Meds help, but don't entirely eliminate, my memory issues.
As I was watching this I was walking around the house knowing I was meant to do something an hour later and I see my meds sitting on the table waiting to be taken. Oops
Dude. I just found you and am binge watching all your videos. That story about your pharmacy is flipping heartbreaking. I hope you did file a formal complaint and you found a far more reliable pharmacy!!
Pharmacies are incredibly finicky and it bothers the hell out of me.
It sounds incredibly frustrating to have memory loss. Being slightly forgetful is not the same.
“I got nothin’.” Is the WHOLE VIBE with memory loss, in my opinion
In order to remember to use my planner (I have ADHD) I joined a Facebook group. Every time I check Facebook it reminds me to look at my planner.
What Facebook group?? I have ADHD and it would help me!
@@Isaac-iu6bx Planners Gone Wild. But there are a bunch of them.
This comforted me as i struggle with a lot of disassociation. Personally i kept a memory boom but that’s only helpful if i remember or have the capacity to write in it.
I hate people's reaction to memory loss too. the 'Yeah, I'm always forgetting'. Er, Nope! I describe mine as a black hole that has eaten my memories. It feels like a hole in my brain too. I can feel it like you do. The forgetting the note is classic too!
I forget things a lot, but it's because of my ADHD. Things aren't entirely 'forgotten', I just don't have the ability to recall them on my own.
I describe it as having all these memories stored on a high shelf. I know they're there, I know I know what's in them, but for the life of me I can't recall what they are. If someone else reaches out and takes one down off the shelf and hands it to me, THEN i remember what it was.
I'll remember a general thing, "We went and saw a movie last week."
"What film?"
"I have no idea what it's called, it had these guys with magic and they were in space."
"Space Wizards!"
Then I instantly remember the film was indeed called that. But I still couldn't give you anymore details of it until someone else started describing a scene or a costume or something, then it will tug it up out of the depths of my mind.
I'll totally forget again later though.
@@Palitato When I was a small child- maybe 8 years old- we had recently moved, and my new bedroom was on the opposite side of the hall, and so the bedroom door was on the opposite side of the room. I have a terrifying memory of the first night, waking up to use the bathroom. It was pitch dark, and I got up, and walked to the door... except it wasn't there. Just a blank wall. No part of my brain remembered, and so I panicked and in terror started fumbling along the walls, tripping over furniture that shouldn't have been there, until finally discovering the knob. I was so exhausted that I just slumped in the hall on the floor panting and crying for a long time.
When I suffer memory loss issues now as an adult, it's a very similar feeling. the knob's not there. The memory is not there. I know it should be, but... nothing. Sadly ironic to retain the memory of that experience, but it's a perfect analogy.
Omg your story of getting the pills from the pharmacy was the closest thing to describing my migraine brain. Never really thought of it as memory loss but holy cow I've been through that exact scenario.
Hey Jessica! I can so relate w/ this. One of my learning disabilities is poor short-term memory. I was diagnosed w/ them at 19. Needless to say, it negatively affected my familial relationships, education, & self-esteem. Now, I have chronic pain & fatigue which only makes my memory worse. Thank goodness I have a wonderful partner that constantly helps, encourages, & supports me.
Thank u so much for sharing your experience w/ this. I've shared this video to FB. I hope it will help others understand this condition & the stressors that come along with it.
Take care of u, my dear.
0:33 When you said pistaccios, I just remembered I had pistachios in my bag that I bought a week ago, and now you've made my day.
Wow it’s so crazy to see other people’s situations and I’m so thankful that you’re able to share this with us and help yourself using this wall! You go girl, you’re beautiful!
Hi Jessica. Though this is an older video I finally remembered to come back to it and say thank you, as this video inadvertently changed the course of my life. I initially watched it when I found and binged your entire channel over a weekend. Despite not having any diagnosed conditions, I found myself relating to your descriptions of memory loss in a way that became increasing discomforting, as it made me realize that my struggle was not "just how everyone is". Lo and behold, I ended up being diagnosed with severe ADHD and finally having an answer to why I've always been like this. Thanks again for all of the hard work and time you put into creating your videos. You're a bright spot in this world and a fantastic educator.
So glad you're talking about this. It's not exactly a common dinner party topic but it is an important one.
Different types of memory loss are fascinating to me. Like, I can't remember most of my formative years due to trauma. And that's weird. The fact that other people can remember- that's weird.
But then my actual day-to-day memory is pretty good. It got shite when I stopped eating but now it's improved again. So there's a giant gap in my memory that everyone else has but it doesn't really affect my day-to-day life unlike many other types of memory loss.
Always really good to learn about how other people are affected by these conditions and how to be more accommodating to everyone.
I have a photographic memory of my abuse. But spent my 6th year completely disassociated. Had Dissociative amnesia that year. It was after the abuse stoped. But I do have major memory issues to do with the right words for things/ spelling. I have dyslexia as well. No I'm being treated for my ptsd, some of the meds make me not in panic mode all the time. Its a struggle to adapt to a slower way of thinking. My brain is used to being on 24/7. Sometimes I forget what I did the day before. Or what I ate that day. But I can remember dates and things from when I was 2.
yeah i dont suffer from memory loss - but due to severe mental health problems by brain just removes things from stressful periods. there's whole chunks of my life i can't remember, which doesn't bother me coz they were shit! But I get very anxious during appointments, so by the time i've paid, booked another appointment and walked out the door i no longer remember anything i was told. My best trick is writing a short note on the back of my hand, with a longer version on a notepad. Or i just get the doctor (or whoever) to email me afterwards.
This is really helpful for understanding my grandmas memory loss after her stroke and makes it easier to help her through the day when I’m caring for her. Thank you, Jessica!
Tips for minor forgetting
-Large Bullet journal
-google calendar, try to write concise notes on your days happenings and accomplishments.
-have a special place for keys & Id, mine clip together, so I always have them visible on their fridge hook at home, or when I'm out, they're clipped to my purse strap.
-take many photos & videos. Even if you don't remember the event, they can still invoke emotion.
-ask others to take pics & vids.
- no matter how long it takes, train yourself to keep your smartphone on you at all times in your hand. If you also forget it's in your hand sometimes and you go running up the stairs, teach yourself to hold it with both hands. Now I hold it to my heart with both hands anytime I go running up the stairs, sometimes even if it's not in my hand. LOL
What about getting one of those arm straps for working out?? :) then you can use your hands but it's still visible
I know they're kind of silly, but I use a fanny pack for my phone, daily pill box, & inhaler. That way I don't have to worry about setting it down and forgetting to pick it back up.
@@amberw5173 they're becoming "in style" again thankfully 😄😄😄
Mum always says the good part of her memory loss is she can hear a story multiple times and enjoy it like it’s new.
recently (like a day ago maybe) the first ever person with Down syndrome finished uni and got BA degree in history in Ukraine where I am from. Turns out, it was actually banned in the 1970's in the Soviet Union for people with special needs to go to uni!!!! literally illegal. It was one of the many many laws Ukraine inherited from the Soviet Union.
This makes me sick
and I feel ashamed
this is mad!!!
I am so angry at this. WTF?!
@@kikoenjani7335 I can link the article if you'd like, though it is in Ukrainian. but google should be able to translate it pretty well.
@@kikoenjani7335 I felt so ashamed for my country when I read it... :(
The fact that you now seem more concerned with the pharmacy's fraud than the fact they *literally endangered your life* is a testament to how goddamn awesome you are as a person.
Thanks for giving me loads of new information about memory loss! I will admit I didn’t know the difference between general forgetfulness and true memory loss before this video! Thanks for clearing the difference up for me!
Also, I loveeeed all your outfits in this video (especially the beret hat) 😍
You're rapidly becoming my favorite youtuber.
this is a wonderful mix of optimism and sincerity and I literally love you!
Thank you for sharing. Its sadly comforting but it gives me hope to see you are doing ok with even worse brain damage than I have. I think you are amazing and I am sorry people have treated you poorly
I......did not know that 111 was a think holy shit that would have saved me so much anxiety
Fun fact it's 811 in Canada and probably America, although it's a long wait
@@katparent8783 it's a pretty quick wait in the UK and they're lovely! (just in case the op is british)
A think?
I’m feeling your videos a lot lately. Partly when I relate, and partly when I just want to be able to understand other people’s lives and troubles.
My brother and I were watching this video for about the 6th time. He has memory loss. I asked if he knows how many times he's seen it. He didn't know he'd watched it more than once. He likes it as much every time and relates to it lol
Have you seen “Finding Nemo”? What do you think about the character Dory?
Shelagh Salisbury well I’m not Jessica but my opinion is that Dory is more a portrayal of dissociative/amnesic fugues rather than memory loss (even though that’s what the character calls it in the movie).
There's a big theory saying she's faking it tho
@@avery-brown I think actually finding dory goes into it more, and she does have a lot of genuine memory problems, but from what I can remember, it's not genuine loss, because the certain things that jog her memory, fully jog it in emotional detail. ... thinking about it now, that portrayal is the reason I love finding dory so much. It made me cry because it's literally about how being differently abled doesn't say anything about your usefulness or your worth, and that the important things you've lost, you're capable of finding again in some capacity, some day.
@@IfYouMeetAWolf who...
@@brimmyburner7530 Just search "Dory conspiracy" here on youtube
You’re a very beautiful person. I feel so warm inside after watching a few of your videos. Subscribed!!
The pill story has just overwhelmed me with emotions due to the constant condescending nature of the general public, and the medical community. I try my best to always hid my conditions and the just struggle through my problems best I can on my own, because I too have had these interactions numerous times, and there's not much you can do to fight it. I hope you were able to switch to another pharmacy.
I do the same thing! Just yesterday I made the mistake of mentioning (among other things) that I couldn't work on a personal project because writing hurt too much. My colleague responded by saying 'Just use the voice software' which I told her I've tried and the ones I've used aren't great, to which she said 'pfft doesn't matter. You don't need to handwrite these days, and typing is just *mimes little finger movements*!' I tried telling her that it was the typing that was painful, but she just stopped listening.
The whole conversation (which also included her telling me I'd wasted years of my life because my uni degrees couldn't get me a job) gradually spoiled my day, and my poor husband had to boost me up while I was in tears on the car ride home.
"You're too young to have xyz going wrong with you! I'm 72 and limber!" Thanks Susan, for reminding me that my 29-year-old body works worse than that of an actual elderly person.
@@whodapole yep! These are the remarks I'm used too. But hey, at least you're safe here in communities online, and you haven't let your illness defeat you You're still doing your days the best you can, with lots of recuperating in between. Honestly she sounds like a narrow minded biach, and you deserve people like your husband, who may not be experiencing your symptoms but still supports you, emphasizes, and treats you as an equal. Wishing you the warmest heating pad!
I'm so glad you made a formal complaint and stood up for yourselves, that kind of treatment is absolutely ridiculous and so disrespectful. They need to be made aware that those actions can have real consequences on someone's life and health and the staff responsible should honestly be fired or retrained.
*Any tips from the lovely fans for the forgetful?* Every experience is unique, but this community is full of kind people!
o0Avalon0o lots of notes. I use an app called Google Keep and make notes on everything. I also have a whiteboard where I write things that I need to find or look for in my messy bedroom when they go missing (seems stupid but is very helpful)
Imagine a bracelet with a notepad? I've been thinking about this for my nana for awhile now..
That way you could write it down right before you go to do it, and look down when you forget
Thank you for sharing. ❣
Makes me feel like I am not alone. Due to traumatic events I struggle with both short term and longterm memory loss. Your story has inspired me to look passed the negative. To keep on keeping on. ❤
I was born in London and now 25 years old and never heard of 111. Why...
We have a similar thing in Canada. 911 is our emergency, and 811 is a non-emergency line to call Registered Nurses. I only found out about it when I was 25 as well! You'd think they would make these things more known. Here in Canada our ER wait times (where I am, anyway) are LUDICROUS because people go in for things that aren't emergencies, then complain because they don't understand the concept of triage and have to wait hours to get a sore knee looked at.
heathermarmal I live in Ontario, Canada (and I’m 25!) and I’ve never heard of 811! That’s sounds like such a helpful service. Emergency room wait times are ridiculous so I try to avoid the ER like the plague.
heathermarmal I don't think we have 811 in Winnipeg. We have Health Links, which is a regular 10 digit phone number that connects you to a registered nurse. They can't do anything about prescriptions, but they are great help if you are having a health issue and don't know whether or not it needs to be checked out, or how urgently.
@@Jadyn_Sage Yeah I don't think 811 does prescriptions, though I never checked. Hmm, maybe it's just a Nova Scotia thing.
Do I have this in AMERICA???