I have short term memory issues and I am a mom to a baby. When I drive anywhere with the baby I have my gps on to take me where I need to go and I leave one of my shoes in the back with the baby so I don’t forget her.
That's a good idea even if you don't have memory loss. Every year it seems there's some tragic story where a parent who didn't sleep all night and then had a different schedule than usual forgot their baby was in the car and went to work on a hot day. Everyone should do tricks like putting their shoe in the back.
I do that too. And if I can‘t do it immediately, I‘ll at least say the thought out loud (like, I have to put this on my grocery list, but I have to remember it when I find my grocery list), because then the chances are higher that I‘ll remember. So don‘t mind me standing alone in the kitchen and screaming TOAST, JAM, SOAP! TOAST, JAM, SOAP!
Went through a very dark time many years ago(depression and anxiety), and I was sitting in the passenger seat of a car, parked in a laneway behind an apartment block - looking around at the scrappy bits of snow on the ground and thought, "Is it Spring or Autumn?" I studied the bare branches trying to tell if the leaves had just fallen, or if the buds were just about to come out. I tried furiously to remember if Christmas had happened...then realized I didn't know whose car this was, or where I was, or why I was sitting in this car alone, or even *what year it was*. It terrifying to the marrow of my bones. Memory problems are awful.
Fun fact!: Depression, PTSD, anxiety and other mental illnesses/ mood disorders will mess with your memory (mainly short time memory). I've had a pretty bad time this year with depression (worsened by quarantine) and I cannot remember much of it. Hope you are doing much much better. Take care pal.
doddleoddle your videos on depersonalization and derealisation has really helped me! I didn't have words for how I felt before, but now I can put a finger on why I'll look in the mirror and see an unrecognizable person or watch myself live without being there. So thank you!
I don't understand how she can be so bubbly and positive with so many illnesses and conditions trying to slow her down! So admirable, I always come to her videos when I need a bit of positive enegy in my life
My experience is sometimes being bubbly and positive is an act of will. It would be easy to give in to pain, tiredness, illness, and become grumpy and morose. However, this makes everything worse as you then have the crap feelings to deal with on top of the rest of it all. Pain in particular is easier for me to cope with when I'm happy, far easier, much, much easier.
My main coordinating doc said to me last month that I am super upbeat and positive and even joking around a lot because it is how I cope. He said it can actually do a disservice to me, because people (both random people and medical professionals) assume I don't feel all that bad because I am so upbeat and funny. But he sees it as the more upbeat and joking around I am, the more he knows it is really a difficult stage for me, because that is my biggest coping strategy.
Because we learn to love who we are and not detach from our stories. If we want to achieve our dreams we shouldn’t stop. What kept me alive and made me reach were I am is my belief that this is only a step and things always happen for my best. We chose our life paths and we could create the best version of ourselves if we only didn’t stop, gave up or didn’t believe in ourselves. You should be the one person who never gives up on you, who cheer for you and who knows .. things work out. Trust me being sick is difficult and sometimes you have pain that you cannot handle but those days remind you of how precious every other moment is, make you identify good in people and brings a lot to your life. I will take illness on finding myself lost in life. After all, I was lost and I struggled until I made myself and I have Crohn’s disease. A very hard disease to live with; but I am living and I have lots to be thankful for. In many ways I don’t want to be sick but in being sick I am humbled and I am a bigger person than I would be. We have to mature and grow one way or another. My growth path is mixed but I am glad I never found myself in a detour that included drug or single parent or anything that others have - frankly everyone in life is handled what they can handle. So she can handle her sickness : that’s why she is alive beautifully expressing herself and that’s what is important; to see yourself and find yourself in this body, in this situation and to move from being troubled or trapped by it to be free and accepting of it accompanying you in life.
"Just because I don't remember you, doesn't mean I don't love you." She looked so sad when she said it. People with memory loss probably feel really guilty because of things like forgetting loved one's birthdays over and over.
it's true. unfortunately, if i don't have you in my field of vision, you basically don't exist in my brain. it's really isolating and harmful to relationships.
@@bluepinkmia Love isn't about beauty, and she has an amazing personality because everything is cut out.If you had an editing program and the ability to show only what you want to people (like on youtube) I'm sure everybody would love you the same way we love her. You worth :)
I finally noticed that when I'm in emotionally stressful situations, my memory goes, it just feels like i'm extremely distracted. It makes me feel better knowing when it occurs.
Relating hardcore, living with an illness that means I don’t usually get enough blood to my brain & fatigue & fibromyalgia... my memory just, flies off sometimes haha. No one gets it. They think it’s the same as memory-weirdness things they get. It’s not. Watching this and reading all these comments is so validating. I love this community.
Fibromyalgia has really messed up my memory. I used to have an amazingly good memory until I was 20 something. Then, fibro/brain fog started to get stronger and stronger, and I also had some bad relationship issues, and then... Now I don't actually remember most of my life - I know things happened, but when? 2012? 2015?? Last year? I usually have to think really hard and do lots of math to get somewhere. And, of course, recent things also get lost all the time. To cope, I've gotten back to bullet journaling to take notes of everything in the same place. And I also want to pick up the habit of journaling, so it'd be easier to know what happened to me... The worst part is, actually, that I'm a teacher and an editorial proofreader. I literally need words to live, and half of the time I forget the word I wanted or where I was going with an example... I'm really, really scared of things getting worse - and my doctor tells me that things only will get better when I feel less pain, less stress and sleep better, which I don't see happening any time soon... I admire so much that you keep on going, and doing stuff, and being this amazing ray of sunshine you are even though you don't remember things. You're truly inspiring ❤️
Last year I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I wasn't informed that it could effect your memory. However, I have recently began having major, short-term memory issues. I began noticing it when I would play video games and would forget what I was doing or why I went to a certain place even seconds after deciding to do so. I then picked up that I was forgetting many, many, many more things. Some of them very important, like remembering to pay my weekly rent payment, or take my medication( more that I forget I've taken it and take it again, than forgetting to take it at all). I didn't know this could be a symptom of fibromyalgia. Thank you for letting me know. I think I may need to talk to my doctor about this. The only way I have been making through the day lately is to use my phones calendar app and set an event for certain days and important things.
Are you taking medicine for the pain? Personally, I am extremely sensitive to anything affecting my neurotransmitters (aka most of the more intense pain medications including some used for fibromyalgia). I have the hardest time explaining that I am, indeed, in terrible pain, but I cannot take the medicine because being that foggy and forgetting things in my line of work can kill people and, if I take them to the degree that they have any significant affect on pain, I have similar issues to what you are describing. If you feel open to it, maybe try to find a different dr who listens and will help you try different medications and see if that changes some of your symptoms. Either way; please know that your experience isn't false because your Dr hasn't come across it (or has dismissed it if they have). I hope you have found some relief long before I wrote this.
I have POTS and I often experience brain fog. When I try to explain this to people, they laugh and say the same thing happens to them. It’s so frustrating. I forget words quite frequently and it’s not like it’s on the tip of my tongue, it’s completely gone.
Hayley Krueger they’re just starting to investigate my heart because I’m getting heart rate spikes and fainting. But I get the brain fog and spacey as well. Remembering meds and the day and month is really hard. And I hate when I know I know the answer to something but it’s like I’m reaching and it’s just out of reach.
I'm sorry to hear that you are having health problems! Feeling like a thought is just out of your grasp is one of the my frustrating things about this type of illness! I find that having a routine helps with remembering to take meds (although it doesn't always work), and wearing a watch with the day of the week and date has been helpful!
Hayley Krueger I have the Walgreens app on my phone but I’m finding on the pills I have to take multiple ones of I can’t remember if I’ve had one or both and I forget which pills I’ve had through the process of taking them. I think I finally need to break down and get a pill sorter.
Yes! At the moment I have some medical issued (my docs don't know what) and my memory is affected when I tell my friends that I don't remember what the told me ext. They at first said the same thing.. (but don't worry I explained to them that I'm not just a little gorgetfull) Ps. After reading this I now realize I didn't finish my sentence but you know imma just leave it.
Hayley Krueger ....I have POTS, EDS, MCAS, etc, and I ordered something online. Two weeks later I realized I didn't have it yet. I checked my email and I didnt even have an order confirmation, which had me wondering if I actually ordered it. So I checked my account and it said it was delivered. I was like uh no. So I wrote them and explained and they showed me a photo of a box at my front door. I thought someone stole it because that's been happening in neighborhood. Then I walk into my bedroom and there it is!!! WTH??? When did I get them? Why didn't I remember? Why did I delete emails showing I ordered them and a delivery conformation? So I had to write and say, uh nevermind. 😨 Jessica described my exact life as well. Incredibly frustrating. Hate it when people say that too. If someone interrupts me while I'm talking, I forget what I was saying and cannot find it in my brain ever.
I have been visiting my aunt for 6 years and she has memory issues. She still. Can’t remember how old I am or if I’m in high school or what college I go to. But I still happily tell her every single time because I know she genuinely wants to know and doesn’t remember asking about the past 30 times I’ve visited. Patience really helps those with memory issues to feel included and less like there is something wrong with them.
My Grandma was an avid chrocheter. She made baby blankets for all of her kids, grand kids, and most of her great grandkids as well as friends. When I was starting out in College I decided I wanted to learn to sort of carry on this tradition. So I taught myself, through TH-cam videos, and my first project was a lap blanket for her. Fast forward about a decade and she is in the hospital battling dementia and cancer and other things. One of the few things she would always remember is her blanket and the fact that I made it for her. It means a lot that I could make her something that gave her that much comfort and meant that much to her.
Omg. Every Monday since I have memory my grandma makes a particular kind of soup that I don’t like at all, and every Monday she asks me if I want to eat it and I’m like “no, thanks. I don’t like it” and she says “oh, really? Since when?” But also she remembered my favorite meal and she does it on my birthday every year and it’s so cute
I have memory issues as well. I try to keep a sense of humor about it. What annoys me is that people so often assume I'm intoxicated or unintelligent when they see it in action.
I hate when I feel so forgetful. My short-term memory is crap. With CFS it's like I don't have the energy to hold on to those memories. It makes earning my degree rather difficult - but I shall keep moving. Disability will not stop me. You're a fantastic role model that has helped me believe that. Thank you.
So the above was my comment prior to actually watching the video. Now I'll comment more now that I've actually watched it. My iphone serves as my memory. "Siri, remind me to ---- at --- time" or "Siri, remind me to --- when I arrive home"... technology is FANTASTIC. Also, communication in writing is fantastic. My memory is OK enough that I can remember where to find things I've forgotten, so that's great. Finally, I realize that I have trouble remembering the order of things that I'm supposed to do things. This is tough when I'm working. I've found that arranging my supplies spatially helps me to remember the chronological order things are supposed to go in. Also, like you did in this video a couple of times, I forget WTF I'm talking about mid-sentence, or words that I want to say. Sometimes changing language (to Spanish, or American Sign Language) will help me get a concept across when I forget these things. FINALLY, the last thing I wanted to say is I love your more casual style in this video - the half-ponytail and sweatshirt are adorable. I say this a lot to a lot of people but I mean it every time: Thank you for existing. :)
I relate to this as I've had CFS since I was about 6 and I'm now 16 and my memory is terrible. I forget everything so quickly and I don't have much memory of most things in my life and the stuff I do remember is sort of foggy and I can't recall it properly.
Thank goodness for the search function on most written text. OMG! If I didn't not have that I would never be or do what I need and want to do. Also would not be able to carry on most normal conversations. lol. I also have CFS as well as Fibro. I can't imagine dealing with this without the technology that we have today.
This could be over the line but do you think you would do a "realistic day in the life" where we see how your disabilities impacts your days, and how you and clara or claudia communicate and handle it? I don't mean the really intrusive things but like when you leave in the "deaf girl problems" I always find that really genuine and interesting to see. You're such a positive person that it's hard to imagine "the reality" if that makes sense? Totally understand if it's not your jam though. xx
When I was 17 or 18 I had a lumbar puncture (to test for MS) that left a hole, all my CSF leaked out. I couldn't do anything but lay there in horrible pain. If I stood or sat upright I'd get sick from the pain. Its the most excruciatingly painful thing I've ever felt in my entire life, worse than labor, worse than gallbladder attacks, worse than pancreatitis. After several days I had to be driven to another city to have a blood patch put in under a floroscope. It took several more days for the headache to stop.
Natalie Nelson Oh I hear you Natalie, I have a spinal fluid leak too. Headaches leave me unable to sit up or stand I have to lie flat for weeks at a time. Now its all pooled into a cyst in my abdomen and my lovely neurologist is trying to think how to drain/stent it. I was hospitalised 3 times with no diagnoses until 7 years ago when I demanded a CT scan. I hope your leak never returns its so debilitating. Lots of love and luck my fellow sufferer xx (all my disabilities float away when I watch Jessica what a breath of fresh air eh?)
Memory loss is something I’ve always feared. That’s why I think about it a lot. I wonder if I had problems with my short-time memory would I have a little note pad on a rubber-band around my wrist, so I could write down tasks on it. I think phone wouldn’t be good for it, because it’s very distracting (all the internet and apps). What do you think about this idea of a note pad?
Adrianna Bury Thank you for saying this. It is exactly the sentiment I wanted to express, but could not think of what words to use. You found the perfect ones. I agree completely. Thank you , Jessica. You are beautiful on every level.
I have slight memory issues. Not like the usual “oh dear I’ve lost my car keys” more like after having my daughter I would break into sobbing horrible fits because I had lost my car in the lot. 🤷🏼♀️ It’s improved since but I still have very large gaps in my memories. I remember very little from my childhood. Most of my life in fact is a blur. It’s a little jarring sometimes. I don’t feel like I should be 31- I don’t remember most of my life. I’m pretty sure most of it is psychological trauma from my childhood but after the traumatic birth of my daughter it got much worse. I’ve tried doing brain exercises and I suppose they’ve helped. I don’t cry if I misplace my car and I can usually find it fairly quickly- I try to park in the same isle every time.
If you had childhood trauma you're likely dealing with dissociation from PTSD. A qualified trauma therapist can help you. I didn't know I had it, until a therapist figured it out.
You should try Duolingo. Learning a second language is good for memory - I have memory issues too (don't know if trauma or just bad memory) and I've already noticed a slight improvement just from learning some Spanish every day. Also, a therapist might help.
I don't know where you live, but if your country has special parking permits for disabled people, you should ask your doctor to sign that form. It's a viable disability accommodation and a safety issue in your case. Don't worry about not thinking that you are "disabled enough" for accommodations. I see you. You are valid. You are worthy of any help you need. I recommend you ask for the license plate that is marked disabled. That sure makes it easier for me to find my car. Much easier to notice that than the little blue hanging thing on the rear view mirror!
I don't have memory issues, I'm just generally pretty absent minded (I was pretty massively depressed for a lot of my childhood/high school/early college years though, so I don't remember a ton from ~the past~ 🤷♀️), and I always forget where my stupid car is! I've found parking my car next to a landmark (like a pillar in a parking garage, the end of an aisle, a cart corral, an interesting bit of wall, a tree, that kind of thing) really helps because it reduces the amount of places I need to look. And if there are none, I'll make a little note in my phone like "you're parked in the middle of the aisle to the right of the door" or "you can see a tree from your car, which is pointed to the right" and that, at the least, narrows it down 😄
I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and memory issues almost as severe as yours that has progressively worsened. One of my pet peeves is when someone says something like, "I told you yesterday...remember?" That last word... remember...is what gets me. It really upsets me. No, I don't remember! That's the problem! I hate that it makes me feel guilty and reminds me that I *should* remember, but don't. It's not something I can control! I, too, have a planner. I also have little notebooks that I keep notes in. I rarely throw them away because I need that information. I do put contact info into my phone, so that's not a problem. I do the same thing of forgetting to reply! Or not finishing a sentence because I've forgotten I started typing one. I forget entire conversations. They're just gone. I also rarely remember what day it is. Sometimes forget we've moved forward a month. We took a month long trip in December and for about two months, I kept having to be reminded that it was no longer December! Love your videos! 💜
Would you prefer if someone said “I thought I told you yesterday?” Obviously, ideally they would just... retell you, but (if I’m interacting with someone who has a short term memory issue) and instinctively question if I said that thing yesterday, how would you prefer I phrase it?
My favorite thing with STML is when I have a thought and I'm like "I need to write that down!" and in the span it takes me to grab my phone or notebook/pen from my pocket and start writing, it's gone. -.- The most heartbreaking thing I deal with about it is not being able to read for pleasure anymore. I can read still, but it won't stick. Reading large blocks of text is really hard and I need a read-aloud reader. If I'm trying to sit down with a novel, I will read the same pages over, and over, and over again because I can't remember what I just read or what is happening in the story. I also cannot really visualize what I'm being told well anymore. I miss the days when I could sit down with a hot mug of something yummy on a rainy day and spend all afternoon getting lost in a book, smelling the paper with my kitty purring in my lap. It's been 10 long years without a book and I'm still not done grieving. I'm not sure I ever will. 😭
I feel this on so many levels!! I've started using Siri for reminders; being able to push a button and say "Siri, remind me to XYZ in 10 minutes" has been *extremely* useful. I've also found reading along to an audiobook to help keep my attention, but I still need to rewind fairly often for missing pieces. A screen-reader is helpful for articles and such, as it highlights the text it reads--though I often forget I have one.
My grandma has Alzheimer's disease. She has her better days where she can remember things more than other days and she also has her off days where she does not know where she is and she can not remember a single thing. Whenever she gets frustrated or upset about forgetting things, I always tell her that one bonus is that you get to meet new people everyday and that she is always learning new things. Try to stay and look for the positives in life and have the person you know who is suffering from memory loss know that they are loved.
judy rotunno // two of my grandparents have dementia, and my grandmother has gotten to the point where some days she doesn't recognize us or her husband. Some days though, she's just very disoriented and recognizes us, but now where she is. However, her doctor explained to me that you can't truly diagnose Alzheimer's until the patient is dead and you can look at their brain. Most likely, your grandmother had dementia. I hope you can appreciate the time you have left with her.
KE Clarke, yes it is true that you can not definitively tell if a person has Alzheimer's disease until you can look at their brain. Her doctors say that they are treating it like Alzheimer's even though they can not fully diagnose her. I find that interesting though that they are helping her specifically for Alheimer's or maybe I just misheard. Lots of info. I know how difficult it is when someone you have known all of your life just forgets who you are. Hope you and your grandparents enjoy the time you have with them and make all of the days with them special and as happy as they can be.
judy rotunno aw... my grandfather also has alzheimer... But he can never remember anything. He can’t even watch the TV because he doesn’t understand what a TV is. If I point at the TV he looks very confused. But he is always very happy and kind (thank god!). He doesn’t know who I am but he knows that he should know. He has started to get confused after meals now, he eats very fast and then gets upset because everyone else is eating exept him...♥️♥️♥️♥️
Magda.L that is awesome that he is a happy and kind person. I have heard of some horror stories where the person suffering is very mean and rude and violent. Thankfully for us as well, my grandma is very nice and happy as well. In fact... she is nicer and more happy then she ever was. I can not image how frustrating it must be not to remember someone or something that you know you should remember. Hope the days you are with him are happy and that you laugh and enjoy the silly moments. That is the only thing you can do.
judy rotunno hang in there Judy, my grandmother had dementia. I think the best thing u can do is be there for them as much as you can. Things won't be perfect. But they can be comforted, and you can help them through the hard times of when they are really confused or are afraid. I wish I had been there more for my grandmother. I think coconut oil, definitely helps. Also they say organ meat helps. I've also heard of a ketogenic diet. Getting rid of aluminum pans, Mercury fillings, and other things in their diet can help. God bless you and your grandparent
Thanks for the tips at the end. I often tell my grandma „well, don’t be sad, it doesn‘t matter“ but never really thought about it. It might matter to her. 🤦🏼♀️
I have quite a good memory and I learn fast but due to years of depression and anxiety I don't remember ~70% of what my life was like this past 10 years. I guess my brain was so overworked with worry and sadness that it didn't have the capacity to make day to day memories or remember the stuff that I was learning. I have huge knowledge gaps from high school and uni. When I talk with my friends I mostly remember emotions and they just spit dates and events on left and right. For me it's just a haze because every day was full of fear or tiredness and blended into another. Luckily I got better this past 2 years because of antidepressants and therapy. It was a shock tho when the meds started working and my mind wasn't full of fog anymore. Like holly shit I could remember yesterday's morning?? And what I did or planned to do?? Literally life changing.
Olcia27 Sounds great, what a present that your brain works again and that you're felling much better! I wish you the best for your future!! You seem to be a very strong person.
I’m glad to hear someone else say this. I have always felt like a failure because of the lack of memories from my depressive periods and even though I thought it was because of that noone ever said anything so I just assumed my memory is crap, but I learn fast and remember a lot of stuff.. happy to hear you are doing better. Good luck with everything
Oh my god it is even possible to fully remember yesterday morning? I can't even remember 10 min ago clearly 😅 you rest just reminded me again that I seriously need a therapist. thank
I thought this was only me!!! I'm a high schooler and don't really remember grade 3rd through grade 7th/8th (did last two in one year) except for incredibly important, high emotion things. I don't remember the dates or places or why I was there, I just remember being there and feeling intense emotions surrounding one important thing. It's actually really upsetting bc my family will be talking about some amazing memory from years ago but, bc my brain didn't register it as deathly important, I don't recall it at all and I just have to take their word on it.
I'm so late here but when you said, "Just because I don't remember you, doesn't mean I don't love you." It quite literally snatched the breath out of my lungs and my heart just stopped for I don't even know how long. We all have our own problems in life, myself included but watching your videos seriously makes me realize just how much worst things COULD be but aren't. And even if they were there are people, like you who make it work regardless and it's absolutely beautiful and I'm so glad that I found your channel.
My ADHD can make my memory really unreliable. I often don't remember life events from the past, I left things, or things I have been told if I didn't write it down. Oddly enough I can often remember facts I read about and how to do things, because my visual memory seems to be a lot better. When I take my medication regularly my memory is more in the normal range, but if I haven't taken my medication in a while it gets progressively worse. Waking up with no clue where you are or forgetting the name of someone you care about can be ultra distressing. I always carry a notebook with me to write down facts I should remember and to do lists, otherwise I can never get anything done. People I work for are always impressed with how thorough I am by taking notes, when the reality is I can't do a good job without them. My memory is not as bad as yours, but the tips you included apply just as well for making friends with someone with my level of memory.
My visual memory is way better too. I keep telling people if they want me to remember their name they need to add me on Facebook so I can see it written down.
Thank you for sharing this! I found this very relatable, since dissociation and ADHD leaves me with a terrible short-term memory. I get very upset when chunks of my life are just a vague blur, and I'll also struggle with the date and if I've taken my medication, as well as struggling to remember if something actually happened or did I just dream about it. Dealing with the level where you forget how you got somewhere sounds really frightening, and I think I'd be especially upset if a doctor caused it by physically damaging my brain. I'm glad you have supportive people in your life, and that you don't seem to blame yourself. Although it's distressing for me, it's not severe enough that I can express to other people that it's not "normal". It seems like they're trying to be reassuring rather than dismissive most of the time. When someone complains to me I've found that I also have the impulse to relate a similar struggle of mine own, maybe to show understanding. So, my big thing to keep in mind is to use my response to validate rather than dismiss; "That's tough! I already get frustrated when it's just forgetting why I opened the fridge." And, as with all invisible disabilities, I try to remember that if I improved by trying and they haven't, it probably means their hurdle is higher. I shouldn't assume I can judge the difficulty from outside.
When I get really stressed out or am in a depressive episode, my memory gets really bad. I can remember that certain things happened, but I can't remember if they happened earlier today or yesterday or a week ago. And then some things that happen when I'm in that state I just can't remember at all. It's really frustrating and it makes me feel even more disconnected from reality than my mental health state already does. After this video I think I might talk to my doctor about it.
My autistic 16 year old repeats alot of things he wants to do or wants....mostly his interests and I don't mind, I am used to it, but my boyfriend doesn't understand.....well your video may help me explain a bit more. It's not the same situation, but it gives a general idea of ''be patient with people and their memory lost'' and the fact that you have to repeat...patience is the key ! Thank you Jessica 😊
Sandrine Marien I can relate to that a lot. I'm on the spectrum and when I get excited about something or I'm just really interested in something I'll repeat it a million times. On the other side I do the same when things really are upsetting. I feel like the reason I do it is because the emotions build up so much that they have to come out of my mouth so I can share that excitement or frustration to alleviate the build up. Maybe it's the same for your son? Either way patience is the key
I have ADHD so I can certainly relate to this apsect. I would say my memory issues are less extreme, but I experience all of the things you mentioned. (moreso than the average person forgetting why they've done something) I need to set something up with my phone to remind myself of things... but you can see where that goes wrong. One of the things I do to attempt to help is I will say things out loud to myself, or tell people I am going to do something. Sometimes they will remind me but it is more, sometimes things 'stick' better if I say them in addition to thinking them. It makes the 'memory' of the thing I want to do more detailed. It is always interesting to me to see crossover aspects/such from different issues.
I hate when people don’t understand how things affect us like memory issues and fatigue because they experienced from time to time at a much lesser extent. I find memory issues so frustrating too thank you for talking about this once again you explain it so well xx
I don't have as severe problems with memory, but a lot of what you said resonated with me as a person living with inattentive ADHD, so thank you for sharing your experience! I especially relate to the frustration with people dismissing your memory issues as quirks that everyone has. Yes, everyone has memory problems from time to time but it becomes an issue when time to time is multiple times a day every day over the course of your life. Thank you for sharing this Jessica!!
I have ADHD and this is so me. I’ve actually lost a job or two from forgetting or misunderstanding something, but it’s taught me not to stay with jobs that require so much short term memory because I just can’t do it. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this 💖
You are so eloquent and this video really explains memory problems so well. I'm going to send it to my close friends who hear "My memory isn't working" and still get upset and hurt when I don't remember to return a call, or realize how many days went by before I called them back, or disappear altogether for a couple of months. I'm so tired of feeling guilty.
I love the bit about how people will be like oh Im forget stuff all the time, because I have dissociative disorder and it drives me absolutely crazy when people are like oh it doesn't matter I forger stuff all the time.. And I'm like No! You do not understand >///
My late stepfather had stage 4 cancer and brain tumors and suffered from extreme short term memory loss so we’d right everything he needed to do in his notebook. Oneday he was going through his to do list and on it between “buy more bread” and “clean the pool” he had a bunch of bullet points for my mom saying “tell her how beautiful she is” “make her smile every single day” and “tell her how much I appreciate her” just to name a few. I love him so much and it was beautiful to see
I have intermittent memory problems because of the brain fog I get with ME. Most of the time my memory is ok but it's very distressing when it just goes and I can't find the word I want or remember what I was about to do. I feel so vulnerable then. I make lots of lists! Thank you for making this video Jessica :)
For me, I constantly forget where I've put things down. When my husband picks up my phone wherever he's found it, and gives it to me wherever I've wandered off to, it makes me incredibly happy
I mean people die like that cause that CSF fluid keeps your brain floating and makes it stay in the skull, if you dont have enough CSF then your brain will herniate and you'll die. Idk how they could make such a stupid mistake.
Learned the BSL alphabet this week, I have a deaf cousin & I had learned a few signs but never really got into it. Your videos have inspired me so much and now I'm really looking forward to learning a new language :)
I like how no matter what happens she is always smiling. She keeps everything positive and it makes me happy and reminds me to not let bad things effect my life negatively
I had to switch my med alarms to daily reminders. They go off like an alarm but I have to tick a separate box to say I've done it in order for the reminder to go away. Huuuuge improvement in med taking for me.
As someone with ADHD I related to this video so hard, especially the part about remembering things about fictional characters more than real people! I'm really glad to hear other people have experiences similar to mine, I get very upset about my memory problems and knowing other people go through it too makes it a little less lonely. Thank you for this video!!
The worst thing people say about memory is “oh it must not have been that important”. Even saying it about themself after they’ve forgotten something, it cuts deep because I try so hard but still forget so many things that are desperately important to me. :/
I've never heard anything quite like this but it is rather interesting as well as terrible why people can be very forgetful. As always Jessica, very insightful content.
THIS all day long! Thank you for making this video because SO many people get frustrated at having to repeat things enough times to get memories into my long-term memory. I had a mild TBI from a car accident, and my short-term memory was damaged. Now 6 years later people are frustrated that I still have the memory problems...um, what? I'm ALWAYS going to have these problems because my brain was damaged! I also have a nice sampling of autoimmune diseases on top of it, and having hidden disabilities can be super exhausting! Thank you for sharing your experiences and your fabulousness with all of us! 💖
Hope the doctor responsible was censured form allowing you to cone due to csf leakage! Oh wow that’s a nightmare. I also have short term memory issues due to being misdiagnosed and having too low an oxygen level for too long before then realised their mistake and sent me to icu. That part of my skipful of disabilities has improved (now 20 years on) but my other disabilities do feed into it. It’s a nightmare. Like you I forget to write down the things I need to remember. Aren’t bodies a nuisance!
I had a similar experience: apoxia during surgery. I also developed epilepsy as a result. The year is 2020, but I thought it might be helpful to know someone can relate.
Calendars, schedules, to do lists, post-its, my google alarms and reminders... I use them all just to juggle my way through a busy life and manage all the events of an active family. You are a wizard to be able to track you way through your days when you struggle with your short term memory! My mom suffered from Alzheimer's and my husband is in early stages, and as caregiver to both it is helpful to hear your insights on short-term memory struggles, which they can't necessarily articulate. Thank you.
It's awesome that you share your story and your struggles with the world. It's very inspiring! I don't really have memory problems, but my Father-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimers about 2 years ago. We're all trying to do our best to take it one day at a time and be patient with him because has to be terrifying for him as well as us.
Been brought here, because of Jammie and Shaaba. But i'm so glad i am here. Can't wait to see more. Thank you for you honesty, personality and your content. So good.
Your videos always make me happy, because of your ability to radiate happiness and calm no matter what you talk about. I spent 1.5 hours on the floor today in a combined rag doll/brain fog, until my fiancee came home and helped me to the sofa, where I've spent the rest of the day. It's been the worst episode in years, and I have a whole barrage of physical/mental/neurological examinations coming up to figure out what more is wrong with me. So today I'm extra glad that you posted a video about disabilities, because watching you talk about these things always make me feel calmer and less strange. I used to have a very, very good memory, but due to stress, burn-outs, anxiety, fatigue, and fibromyalgia, it's gotten gradually worse. I can also tell a clear difference in periods where I'm nore stress. Like you, the cognitive problems are what worries and bothers me the most. The pain and physical problems I can handle, but being in a brain fog and feeling your whole mental being stop working... I'm glad you have such support from patient people around you, just as I have my fiancee and family. They are invaluable. :)
My grandma has dementia and this video really helps me to understand what she’s going through and how to help her deal with it, so thank you so much :)💕
You are amazing!! This is so relatable. I have POTS, EDS, MCAD, and a sleep disorder. People don’t understand that I literally DO NOT REMEMBER. It’s more than just being forgetful.
My favorite part of short term memory problems is when you get the (sometimes frantic) sense that you need something right this moment but you don't know what it is or why. So you start just blind searching around hoping something will magically jump out at you as a clue as to why you feel so compelled to search. It's even better when someone catches you doing this and helpfully asks what you are looking for. You then have to admit: "I don't really know... but I'm also not crazy. I promise." 😋🙃
It hit me so hard when you talked about how memory problems are so frustrating, even when compared to what most people would assume to be more "complex" health problems. I have a pile of health problems too and nothing makes me cry tears of frustration like my poor memory. It can make me feel so stupid and incapable of being independent. Thank you for putting this feeling into such eloquent words; I feel less alone. :-)
"The best way to cope with those feelings is to take them and then just set them aside" ... because I WILL forget about them 😅 Oh my gosh, THANK YOU. I feel this in my soul as I'm quite the same (yay Chemo-fog!) Gonna send people this video next time I have to explain this to people in my life Thank you thank you thank you ❤
Seeing this video made my day. My short-term working memory is also practically nonexistent and it's extremely frustrating to try and explain to people that yes, it's a disability, and yes, it's not your average forgetfulness because I can't remember your name. Or the names and faces of people I've met. Or the date. Or the year. Or even how old I am. Time also moves extremely oddly for me- everything jumbles together and weeks can easily feel like days. Sometimes a month flies by and sometimes an hour feels like a week. However, years consistently feel like they're too short- there's always something missing. My biggest tip for helping anyone with memory problems is forms where you have to fill in personal information. Don't drop anyone off at the dentist or doctors- walk in and stay with them and help them complete the form that you're always given. If I have trouble remembering how old I am then please don't expect to memorize my health concerns and medication for the past couple of years. That information is just.... not there. My second tip is: If you're planning an event then tell me in advance multiple times- including the day that it's actually happening. In written format. That's very important. Third tip: If you have memory problems carrying around a planner is amazing, but if something is extremely important then write it down on your arm or wrist. You will never misplace your limbs because hopefully they are attached to your body. And lastly, even if I can't remember your face or your name or your birthday, it doesn't mean I don't care about you or love you.
Thank you for making this video! As a person who has had strokes ~ this was so important to me. With my last one I couldn't speak or remember. This lasted for a week, recovery was slow 🐌, but it also left me rather slow in speach. I SO APPRECIATED people who had patience with me. And those that did not have patience with me with me left me feeling incredibly small and stupid which increased my slow speech. I also have a problem with short term memory. Blessings, Katherine
All of these videos teaching others about aspects of certain disabilities that we wouldn't normally think of are so educational and important, thank you so much!
"Just because I don't remember you, doesn't mean I don't love you". Uggh that hit hard... My grandma has memory loss. Your perspective of life is quite inspiring💗💗💗.
Jessica, I admire you so much. Despite the fact that I don't have any diagnosed disability, your videos helping me so much. (Not only videos, just knowing that you exist and live somewhere) The way you live through all the problems you have, with all the cheerfulness and that smile on your face. I think you are an incredible person and thank you for everything you do.
The getting distracted halfway through 10 potentially important tasks is something I have issues with. I don't have bad memory problems at all, but I have pretty bad ADD that developed without any intervention through my entire childhood because I was a very intelligent kid and managed to completely hide it from everyone because stubbornness. My mom has to give me lists and keep them in plain sight, because if you just tell me, I will do the first thing then go do something else. I also have to write all over books because I forget important information; I even keep a character reference page for names and crap. I've had lots of medications for migraines though, and some of them have had screwed with my short term memory temporarily. It's very scary to not be in control of your mind, even more so than losing control of your body. Your entire consciousness resides within it, so not being able to rely on it is difficult.
This is so relatable. I so appreciate having someone like you willing to share your experience and how you deal and keep positive about it all. I’m constantly intending to write stuff down but forget to even write it down. Or then forget to look at my lists or planner. I have lots of alarms on my phone bc I get so nervous I’ll forget to pick my son up from school on time because it varies. The advice for others is helpful and I’m going to have to share with my husband (though thankfully, he’s really good about dealing with my forgetfulness!)
jessica I love you so much !! this is the first time I've been so early to a video! your videos make me feel calm and quietly content; as well as making me feel not so alone(my antidepressants make me have hyper-realistic dreams so sometimes I can't remember if something really happened or not). your advice is always so good and healing. thank you for doing what you do!
If you're having hyper realistic dreams you could try lucid dreaming. It would probably be fairly easy if you already have good dream memory and hyper realistic dreams and it could help you sort those memories out
I feel this with my ADHD! My memory is quite similar to yours except I also have a lot of trouble remembering further back like I couldnt tell you much about two years ago and remembering how old I was at certain times is also very hard or even just remembering what years things happened!
I needed this. It made me feel heard, not alone. I stumbled over it because I wanted to know who that person was in a gif I liked. I was in the middle of taking notes on a mental health book for myself, rereading a 4th time because I couldn't remember what I read 3 times in a row. I cried multiple times in the video, and I had to rewind it twice to the beginning to remember what you said. I had to rewind it again at the end to write all of your listed recommendations. I felt so many things you said, things that follow me around and make every week hard. I feel embarrassed and guilty all the time, because my memory has done such a 180 and I can't keep up with the consequences. I have a hard time making friends or getting important things done. I'll forget to get my credit card replaced that I lost two weeks ago. I only just started remembering 2 people at the studio that I have danced with every week for more than half a year. I'll forget that I moved my car, and my first thought is that I got towed, calling my partner up in a panic. I'll note my lunch, which was placed on the edge of my desk while working, and I will promptly forget about it. I'll repeat this process more times than I can count until so many hours have gone by that I realize I'm starving. Sometimes I don't realize until my partner walks in and immediately gets on me for not eating...and I'll eat it then...because now I feel super guilty for not eating the lunch they made me so that I would remember to eat that day. Recently, my partner silently dropped a cardboard box on my desk and walked away sighing. It was the frozen meal I made and left in the toaster oven all day. I went back to reheat it for 5 minutes...and forgot about it again. Many times I will remember to eat it right before they end their workday, because I remember the guilt more than anything else. I know what it's from, but it's a hard thing to accept and learn how to carry on with living and functioning. And I don't know if it will keep getting worse or not.
I cannot tell you how much comfort and sanity this video brought to me, this evening especially. I have short-term memory issues *just like this* due to and illness, and I often feel absolutely nuts because I will lose a moment. Just like that. I had a particular upsetting moment regarding this about an hour before I saw this video. You explained your memory loss in such a concise and perfect way, and as unfortunate as it is that you experience it too, it's nice to not feel alone with this.
I have a theory that screens work just like physical doorways in that respect. I open up my phone and it's just like I'm in a different room. Which is part of why I hate that the Google app has a news feed now! It's hard enough to remember what I wanted to search when I had to pass 2 screens to get here, and now they're purposely distracting me? It feels malicious.
OMG yes, the " entering a room and totally forgetting what you came into the room for, only to go back into the previous room and then suddenly remember what you went into the room for" effect lol. Have you ever done it multiple times too? Like, "Why did I come into the kitchen... ok, back to living room... Oh that's right, tea... Why did i come into the kitchen again? "
I have memory problems that aren't as serious as yours, but quite relatable. I believe they come from my mental health problems like ADHD, BPD and depression, which all lead to some memory issues. I dissociate sometimes, which also helps in the whole "not remembering" thing. You're so relatable and really quite an inspiration. Even though you have multiple reasons why you could just wallow in self-pity, you choose to be happy with what you have been given and work towards doing the best you can. And of course you sometimes feel down, but you just go back up.
I have memory issues most likely due to multiple concussions. I’m also someone who has adhd so I get distracted very easily. If someone asks me to do something, I have to repeat it out loud to them, have them repeat it back a few times, then I continue repeating it until I’ve completed the task. I also tend to mix up my memories. I’m currently writing a series where season 1 tells my story. Unfortunately the only parts of my life I can really grasp memories of are the bad memories, so the only good memories I have of childhood are the ones told to me by my cousin. Ones we have discussed repeatedly. Right now I live with people who help me remember my work schedule because I’m not on a set schedule. One of the reasons I love being part of the drama team at my church is because of the repetition in the signs we use when we do songs in sign or the repeated dance moves because it feels good to remember things. I’m not even sure if this was where I was going with this comment because I forgot what I was trying to say and just went with it.
So relatable. I'm nearly Deaf, and I have ME/CFS. 4 years ago I had a major stroke, and had a lot of damage in my right hippocampus - where those short term memories happened. It also controls language acquisition, so I forgot all of my Hebrew, and all of my Spanish. I was very dodgy with my native English for the next 6 months, and I still stumble fairly often. I'm trying to relearn my other languages, but the words slide off of my brain like Teflon. It just doesn't stick. Living in Israel, not being able to recall the language is extremely frustrating, and socially isolating, so I had to move to a more Anglo community. I think the very worst part of it, is that I've forgotten entire years of my daughter's childhood. I look at pictures from when she was little, and she was so adorable, and that is the only connection I have to those years. I waited 38 years to have this delicious child, and she's almost an adult now. She's my most beloved and favorite person in the world, and to lose those memories is excruciating. I would literally lose my legs, if I could have my memories back.
"YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THESE THINGS." "How am I supposed to remember to remember? That is not how it workssssssss." I have always had really bad memory due to ADHD and stuff like that. but also with anxiety, depression, possible PTSD, medication and 3 concussions, my cognitive functions have gotten worse and worse. It was the worse it's ever been on the few months after my last concussion. Like usually if someone reminds me of something I forgot I will probably at least sort of remembering what they reminded me of. But after the concussion it was just total blank. Even if someone reminded me of something I would still have 0 recollection, not even an inkling or a feeling. Sounded like they were just making it up. I believed them though.
Hey Jessica! This is such a comfort to me right now. I have anxiety and PTSD, and it can mess with my short term memory. I was brought into hospital a few days ago because I was having muscle spasms and my heart rate skyrocketed. I’m fine, it was low blood sugar and a very severe panic attack but in the days since I’ve had such a foggy head and I can’t remember things I just did 5 minutes ago. Watching you makes me feel less scared and less alone. All my love 💖
When you know you've added that sweater to wishlist somewhere and can't remember who makes it! But seriously, I am amazed at all the ways you've adapted.
I don't have nearly as much of a problem with short term memory as what you describe, but I often have trouble remembering stuff that happened earlier that day. As I also have a lot of disabilities (among them are hypermobility syndrome and POTS), this means I usually have somebody accompanying me to medical appointments, and also writing down what is said at those appointments. I think a lot of people don't realise how much it affects life, and while I can remember things after 2-3 days... that's still quite some time from when something happened that I can't recall properly. I really love your videos, and how you seem determined to be happy. It helps a lot knowing that there are people out there with similar health problems that manages to work through it all and be happy in their lives.
So good to see this being talked about in a public space so sweetly and honestly, thank you. I have bad short term memory, drs think its because if heat induced seizures I had as a baby. It's so hard to get people to realise it is a real thing. Some get so annoyed when I ask them to write something down or to send me an email instead of yahyahing at me and I'm just supposed to remember😥😣 Thanks Jessica for talking about this!!
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I have short term memory issues and I am a mom to a baby. When I drive anywhere with the baby I have my gps on to take me where I need to go and I leave one of my shoes in the back with the baby so I don’t forget her.
Ok thats smart. Everyone should do that
That's really brilliant!
I don’t have documented memory issues and I leave my shoe in the back as well. Extra safety is never a bad thing ❤️
That's a good idea even if you don't have memory loss. Every year it seems there's some tragic story where a parent who didn't sleep all night and then had a different schedule than usual forgot their baby was in the car and went to work on a hot day. Everyone should do tricks like putting their shoe in the back.
you may have short term memory but you are a literal genius
"Just because I don't remember you doesn't mean that I don't love you."
I think that is unironically beautiful.
Please forgive for whatever I do, when I don’t remember you
I wish people knew that about me and accepted it.
@@helenalena6193 me too
I start singing, "I'm going to the kitchen to make a cup of tea, going to the kitchen to..." all the way there, (or what ever the task is.)
That's actually GENIUS
I’ve done that a few times. It helped me.
I do that too. And if I can‘t do it immediately, I‘ll at least say the thought out loud (like, I have to put this on my grocery list, but I have to remember it when I find my grocery list), because then the chances are higher that I‘ll remember. So don‘t mind me standing alone in the kitchen and screaming TOAST, JAM, SOAP! TOAST, JAM, SOAP!
Which ended up on the toast? Soap or jam?
Omg I do this too hahhahaha
Went through a very dark time many years ago(depression and anxiety), and I was sitting in the passenger seat of a car, parked in a laneway behind an apartment block - looking around at the scrappy bits of snow on the ground and thought, "Is it Spring or Autumn?" I studied the bare branches trying to tell if the leaves had just fallen, or if the buds were just about to come out. I tried furiously to remember if Christmas had happened...then realized I didn't know whose car this was, or where I was, or why I was sitting in this car alone, or even *what year it was*. It terrifying to the marrow of my bones. Memory problems are awful.
Fun fact!: Depression, PTSD, anxiety and other mental illnesses/ mood disorders will mess with your memory (mainly short time memory). I've had a pretty bad time this year with depression (worsened by quarantine) and I cannot remember much of it. Hope you are doing much much better. Take care pal.
relaaaatableeeeee as a spaced out derealised human!!
doddleoddle your videos on depersonalization and derealisation has really helped me! I didn't have words for how I felt before, but now I can put a finger on why I'll look in the mirror and see an unrecognizable person or watch myself live without being there. So thank you!
Would love to chat about DR sometime, really hard to find people going through the same thing and as I'm sure you know it can be sooo isolating ❤️
Awn thanks lovely! ❤️
Omg dodie here, what a lovely day 😍❤️
Never thought I'd see dodie and Jessica in the same place, my two favourite youtubers :))
Memory loss doesn’t sound like memory “loss” it sounds like memory “doesn’t happen”.
In her case, yes!
I don't understand how she can be so bubbly and positive with so many illnesses and conditions trying to slow her down! So admirable, I always come to her videos when I need a bit of positive enegy in my life
My experience is sometimes being bubbly and positive is an act of will. It would be easy to give in to pain, tiredness, illness, and become grumpy and morose. However, this makes everything worse as you then have the crap feelings to deal with on top of the rest of it all. Pain in particular is easier for me to cope with when I'm happy, far easier, much, much easier.
My main coordinating doc said to me last month that I am super upbeat and positive and even joking around a lot because it is how I cope. He said it can actually do a disservice to me, because people (both random people and medical professionals) assume I don't feel all that bad because I am so upbeat and funny. But he sees it as the more upbeat and joking around I am, the more he knows it is really a difficult stage for me, because that is my biggest coping strategy.
Because we learn to love who we are and not detach from our stories. If we want to achieve our dreams we shouldn’t stop. What kept me alive and made me reach were I am is my belief that this is only a step and things always happen for my best. We chose our life paths and we could create the best version of ourselves if we only didn’t stop, gave up or didn’t believe in ourselves. You should be the one person who never gives up on you, who cheer for you and who knows .. things work out.
Trust me being sick is difficult and sometimes you have pain that you cannot handle but those days remind you of how precious every other moment is, make you identify good in people and brings a lot to your life.
I will take illness on finding myself lost in life. After all, I was lost and I struggled until I made myself and I have Crohn’s disease. A very hard disease to live with; but I am living and I have lots to be thankful for. In many ways I don’t want to be sick but in being sick I am humbled and I am a bigger person than I would be.
We have to mature and grow one way or another. My growth path is mixed but I am glad I never found myself in a detour that included drug or single parent or anything that others have - frankly everyone in life is handled what they can handle. So she can handle her sickness : that’s why she is alive beautifully expressing herself and that’s what is important; to see yourself and find yourself in this body, in this situation and to move from being troubled or trapped by it to be free and accepting of it accompanying you in life.
Defence/coping mechanism. I do it too, when everything is way too crappy.
its simple , you have to be , or you go nutts , so laugh at yourself , , being depressed is not going to change it ,
"Just because I don't remember you, doesn't mean I don't love you." She looked so sad when she said it. People with memory loss probably feel really guilty because of things like forgetting loved one's birthdays over and over.
it's true. unfortunately, if i don't have you in my field of vision, you basically don't exist in my brain. it's really isolating and harmful to relationships.
I'm so glad you found someone that loves every bit of you! It gives me hope for the rest of us!
o0Avalon0o Ya its very rare to find that! Male or female
It still DOES NOT give me hope considering she is so freakishly way more beautiful than me, and on top of that she has an amazing personality.
@@bluepinkmia Love isn't about beauty, and she has an amazing personality because everything is cut out.If you had an editing program and the ability to show only what you want to people (like on youtube) I'm sure everybody would love you the same way we love her. You worth :)
I love how “the voice in the back of your head” sounds like Claudia
"just because I don't remember you doesn't mean I don't love you" got me crying. Very informative video as always, Jessica!
Chels H I
I was just about to write this haha, yes this was a very impactful line. I love Jessica so much! :)
Chels H aww
I finally noticed that when I'm in emotionally stressful situations, my memory goes, it just feels like i'm extremely distracted. It makes me feel better knowing when it occurs.
Relating hardcore, living with an illness that means I don’t usually get enough blood to my brain & fatigue & fibromyalgia... my memory just, flies off sometimes haha. No one gets it. They think it’s the same as memory-weirdness things they get. It’s not. Watching this and reading all these comments is so validating. I love this community.
I also frequently think my dreams are real memories, and real memories are dreams...that one is fun :P
Fibromyalgia has really messed up my memory. I used to have an amazingly good memory until I was 20 something. Then, fibro/brain fog started to get stronger and stronger, and I also had some bad relationship issues, and then... Now I don't actually remember most of my life - I know things happened, but when? 2012? 2015?? Last year? I usually have to think really hard and do lots of math to get somewhere. And, of course, recent things also get lost all the time. To cope, I've gotten back to bullet journaling to take notes of everything in the same place. And I also want to pick up the habit of journaling, so it'd be easier to know what happened to me...
The worst part is, actually, that I'm a teacher and an editorial proofreader. I literally need words to live, and half of the time I forget the word I wanted or where I was going with an example... I'm really, really scared of things getting worse - and my doctor tells me that things only will get better when I feel less pain, less stress and sleep better, which I don't see happening any time soon...
I admire so much that you keep on going, and doing stuff, and being this amazing ray of sunshine you are even though you don't remember things. You're truly inspiring ❤️
Last year I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. I wasn't informed that it could effect your memory. However, I have recently began having major, short-term memory issues. I began noticing it when I would play video games and would forget what I was doing or why I went to a certain place even seconds after deciding to do so. I then picked up that I was forgetting many, many, many more things. Some of them very important, like remembering to pay my weekly rent payment, or take my medication( more that I forget I've taken it and take it again, than forgetting to take it at all). I didn't know this could be a symptom of fibromyalgia. Thank you for letting me know. I think I may need to talk to my doctor about this. The only way I have been making through the day lately is to use my phones calendar app and set an event for certain days and important things.
Are you taking medicine for the pain? Personally, I am extremely sensitive to anything affecting my neurotransmitters (aka most of the more intense pain medications including some used for fibromyalgia). I have the hardest time explaining that I am, indeed, in terrible pain, but I cannot take the medicine because being that foggy and forgetting things in my line of work can kill people and, if I take them to the degree that they have any significant affect on pain, I have similar issues to what you are describing. If you feel open to it, maybe try to find a different dr who listens and will help you try different medications and see if that changes some of your symptoms. Either way; please know that your experience isn't false because your Dr hasn't come across it (or has dismissed it if they have). I hope you have found some relief long before I wrote this.
I have POTS and I often experience brain fog. When I try to explain this to people, they laugh and say the same thing happens to them. It’s so frustrating. I forget words quite frequently and it’s not like it’s on the tip of my tongue, it’s completely gone.
Hayley Krueger they’re just starting to investigate my heart because I’m getting heart rate spikes and fainting. But I get the brain fog and spacey as well. Remembering meds and the day and month is really hard. And I hate when I know I know the answer to something but it’s like I’m reaching and it’s just out of reach.
I'm sorry to hear that you are having health problems! Feeling like a thought is just out of your grasp is one of the my frustrating things about this type of illness! I find that having a routine helps with remembering to take meds (although it doesn't always work), and wearing a watch with the day of the week and date has been helpful!
Hayley Krueger I have the Walgreens app on my phone but I’m finding on the pills I have to take multiple ones of I can’t remember if I’ve had one or both and I forget which pills I’ve had through the process of taking them. I think I finally need to break down and get a pill sorter.
Yes! At the moment I have some medical issued (my docs don't know what) and my memory is affected when I tell my friends that I don't remember what the told me ext. They at first said the same thing.. (but don't worry I explained to them that I'm not just a little gorgetfull)
Ps. After reading this I now realize I didn't finish my sentence but you know imma just leave it.
Hayley Krueger ....I have POTS, EDS, MCAS, etc, and I ordered something online. Two weeks later I realized I didn't have it yet. I checked my email and I didnt even have an order confirmation, which had me wondering if I actually ordered it. So I checked my account and it said it was delivered. I was like uh no. So I wrote them and explained and they showed me a photo of a box at my front door. I thought someone stole it because that's been happening in neighborhood. Then I walk into my bedroom and there it is!!! WTH??? When did I get them? Why didn't I remember? Why did I delete emails showing I ordered them and a delivery conformation? So I had to write and say, uh nevermind. 😨 Jessica described my exact life as well. Incredibly frustrating. Hate it when people say that too. If someone interrupts me while I'm talking, I forget what I was saying and cannot find it in my brain ever.
I have been visiting my aunt for 6 years and she has memory issues. She still. Can’t remember how old I am or if I’m in high school or what college I go to. But I still happily tell her every single time because I know she genuinely wants to know and doesn’t remember asking about the past 30 times I’ve visited. Patience really helps those with memory issues to feel included and less like there is something wrong with them.
After Covid my short-term memory is basically nonexistent, so it's awesome to see someone who copes with memory loss talking about it
My Grandma was an avid chrocheter. She made baby blankets for all of her kids, grand kids, and most of her great grandkids as well as friends. When I was starting out in College I decided I wanted to learn to sort of carry on this tradition. So I taught myself, through TH-cam videos, and my first project was a lap blanket for her. Fast forward about a decade and she is in the hospital battling dementia and cancer and other things. One of the few things she would always remember is her blanket and the fact that I made it for her. It means a lot that I could make her something that gave her that much comfort and meant that much to her.
Omg. Every Monday since I have memory my grandma makes a particular kind of soup that I don’t like at all, and every Monday she asks me if I want to eat it and I’m like “no, thanks. I don’t like it” and she says “oh, really? Since when?” But also she remembered my favorite meal and she does it on my birthday every year and it’s so cute
I have memory issues as well. I try to keep a sense of humor about it. What annoys me is that people so often assume I'm intoxicated or unintelligent when they see it in action.
Yes! I missed mentioning it in the video but people assuming I’m drunk is awfully annoying 🤦♀️
eparke20 me 2
me too.. very annoying
This is proof that you can make ANYTHING sound graceful
I hate when I feel so forgetful. My short-term memory is crap. With CFS it's like I don't have the energy to hold on to those memories. It makes earning my degree rather difficult - but I shall keep moving. Disability will not stop me. You're a fantastic role model that has helped me believe that. Thank you.
So the above was my comment prior to actually watching the video. Now I'll comment more now that I've actually watched it. My iphone serves as my memory. "Siri, remind me to ---- at --- time" or "Siri, remind me to --- when I arrive home"... technology is FANTASTIC. Also, communication in writing is fantastic. My memory is OK enough that I can remember where to find things I've forgotten, so that's great. Finally, I realize that I have trouble remembering the order of things that I'm supposed to do things. This is tough when I'm working. I've found that arranging my supplies spatially helps me to remember the chronological order things are supposed to go in. Also, like you did in this video a couple of times, I forget WTF I'm talking about mid-sentence, or words that I want to say. Sometimes changing language (to Spanish, or American Sign Language) will help me get a concept across when I forget these things. FINALLY, the last thing I wanted to say is I love your more casual style in this video - the half-ponytail and sweatshirt are adorable. I say this a lot to a lot of people but I mean it every time: Thank you for existing. :)
I relate to this as I've had CFS since I was about 6 and I'm now 16 and my memory is terrible. I forget everything so quickly and I don't have much memory of most things in my life and the stuff I do remember is sort of foggy and I can't recall it properly.
Thank goodness for the search function on most written text. OMG! If I didn't not have that I would never be or do what I need and want to do. Also would not be able to carry on most normal conversations. lol. I also have CFS as well as Fibro. I can't imagine dealing with this without the technology that we have today.
I also have CFS and have the exact same problem, my short term and mid term memory is so bad
What’s that little person thing next to your name?
As someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder who regularly finds evidence of things I don’t remember doing: this is honestly soooo relatable.
We don't specifically have DID but we're a system as well with amnesia and definitely agree! It's pretty disorienting a lot of the time
This could be over the line but do you think you would do a "realistic day in the life" where we see how your disabilities impacts your days, and how you and clara or claudia communicate and handle it? I don't mean the really intrusive things but like when you leave in the "deaf girl problems" I always find that really genuine and interesting to see. You're such a positive person that it's hard to imagine "the reality" if that makes sense? Totally understand if it's not your jam though. xx
YOU HAVE ARTICULATED PERFECTLY HOW LIFE IS FOR SOMEONE WITH SHORT TERM MEMORY DEFICITS. THANK YOU.
8:28 Bless ur soul Jessica... I forgot to take my medication this evening and you reminded me. Thank you
When I was 17 or 18 I had a lumbar puncture (to test for MS) that left a hole, all my CSF leaked out. I couldn't do anything but lay there in horrible pain. If I stood or sat upright I'd get sick from the pain. Its the most excruciatingly painful thing I've ever felt in my entire life, worse than labor, worse than gallbladder attacks, worse than pancreatitis.
After several days I had to be driven to another city to have a blood patch put in under a floroscope. It took several more days for the headache to stop.
Natalie Nelson Oh I hear you Natalie, I have a spinal fluid leak too. Headaches leave me unable to sit up or stand I have to lie flat for weeks at a time. Now its all pooled into a cyst in my abdomen and my lovely neurologist is trying to think how to drain/stent it. I was hospitalised 3 times with no diagnoses until 7 years ago when I demanded a CT scan. I hope your leak never returns its so debilitating. Lots of love and luck my fellow sufferer xx (all my disabilities float away when I watch Jessica what a breath of fresh air eh?)
Same thing happened to me at 21
Loving the drone shots in the intro!!
Thank you! Glad my present to Claud is paying off again 😉
eparke20 I agree! Very cool shots.
Memory loss is something I’ve always feared. That’s why I think about it a lot. I wonder if I had problems with my short-time memory would I have a little note pad on a rubber-band around my wrist, so I could write down tasks on it. I think phone wouldn’t be good for it, because it’s very distracting (all the internet and apps). What do you think about this idea of a note pad?
I love how candid you are in your videos. You are, hands down, my favorite TH-camr. Thank you for always being so honest and such a lovely soul.
Thank you so much, my dear! ✨♥️
Adrianna Bury Thank you for saying this. It is exactly the sentiment I wanted to express, but could not think of what words to use. You found the perfect ones. I agree completely. Thank you , Jessica. You are beautiful on every level.
I have slight memory issues. Not like the usual “oh dear I’ve lost my car keys” more like after having my daughter I would break into sobbing horrible fits because I had lost my car in the lot. 🤷🏼♀️ It’s improved since but I still have very large gaps in my memories. I remember very little from my childhood. Most of my life in fact is a blur. It’s a little jarring sometimes. I don’t feel like I should be 31- I don’t remember most of my life. I’m pretty sure most of it is psychological trauma from my childhood but after the traumatic birth of my daughter it got much worse. I’ve tried doing brain exercises and I suppose they’ve helped. I don’t cry if I misplace my car and I can usually find it fairly quickly- I try to park in the same isle every time.
If you had childhood trauma you're likely dealing with dissociation from PTSD. A qualified trauma therapist can help you. I didn't know I had it, until a therapist figured it out.
Julia Cox I’m wondering if some of my “brain fog” might actually be dissociation...
You should try Duolingo. Learning a second language is good for memory - I have memory issues too (don't know if trauma or just bad memory) and I've already noticed a slight improvement just from learning some Spanish every day.
Also, a therapist might help.
I don't know where you live, but if your country has special parking permits for disabled people, you should ask your doctor to sign that form. It's a viable disability accommodation and a safety issue in your case. Don't worry about not thinking that you are "disabled enough" for accommodations. I see you. You are valid. You are worthy of any help you need.
I recommend you ask for the license plate that is marked disabled. That sure makes it easier for me to find my car. Much easier to notice that than the little blue hanging thing on the rear view mirror!
I don't have memory issues, I'm just generally pretty absent minded (I was pretty massively depressed for a lot of my childhood/high school/early college years though, so I don't remember a ton from ~the past~ 🤷♀️), and I always forget where my stupid car is! I've found parking my car next to a landmark (like a pillar in a parking garage, the end of an aisle, a cart corral, an interesting bit of wall, a tree, that kind of thing) really helps because it reduces the amount of places I need to look. And if there are none, I'll make a little note in my phone like "you're parked in the middle of the aisle to the right of the door" or "you can see a tree from your car, which is pointed to the right" and that, at the least, narrows it down 😄
I have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome and memory issues almost as severe as yours that has progressively worsened. One of my pet peeves is when someone says something like, "I told you yesterday...remember?" That last word... remember...is what gets me. It really upsets me. No, I don't remember! That's the problem! I hate that it makes me feel guilty and reminds me that I *should* remember, but don't. It's not something I can control!
I, too, have a planner. I also have little notebooks that I keep notes in. I rarely throw them away because I need that information. I do put contact info into my phone, so that's not a problem.
I do the same thing of forgetting to reply! Or not finishing a sentence because I've forgotten I started typing one. I forget entire conversations. They're just gone. I also rarely remember what day it is. Sometimes forget we've moved forward a month. We took a month long trip in December and for about two months, I kept having to be reminded that it was no longer December!
Love your videos! 💜
Wait, EDS causes memory issues?! Well, that explains a lot..
Would you prefer if someone said “I thought I told you yesterday?” Obviously, ideally they would just... retell you, but (if I’m interacting with someone who has a short term memory issue) and instinctively question if I said that thing yesterday, how would you prefer I phrase it?
My favorite thing with STML is when I have a thought and I'm like "I need to write that down!" and in the span it takes me to grab my phone or notebook/pen from my pocket and start writing, it's gone. -.-
The most heartbreaking thing I deal with about it is not being able to read for pleasure anymore. I can read still, but it won't stick. Reading large blocks of text is really hard and I need a read-aloud reader. If I'm trying to sit down with a novel, I will read the same pages over, and over, and over again because I can't remember what I just read or what is happening in the story. I also cannot really visualize what I'm being told well anymore.
I miss the days when I could sit down with a hot mug of something yummy on a rainy day and spend all afternoon getting lost in a book, smelling the paper with my kitty purring in my lap. It's been 10 long years without a book and I'm still not done grieving. I'm not sure I ever will. 😭
I feel this on so many levels!! I've started using Siri for reminders; being able to push a button and say "Siri, remind me to XYZ in 10 minutes" has been *extremely* useful. I've also found reading along to an audiobook to help keep my attention, but I still need to rewind fairly often for missing pieces. A screen-reader is helpful for articles and such, as it highlights the text it reads--though I often forget I have one.
My grandma has Alzheimer's disease. She has her better days where she can remember things more than other days and she also has her off days where she does not know where she is and she can not remember a single thing. Whenever she gets frustrated or upset about forgetting things, I always tell her that one bonus is that you get to meet new people everyday and that she is always learning new things. Try to stay and look for the positives in life and have the person you know who is suffering from memory loss know that they are loved.
judy rotunno // two of my grandparents have dementia, and my grandmother has gotten to the point where some days she doesn't recognize us or her husband. Some days though, she's just very disoriented and recognizes us, but now where she is. However, her doctor explained to me that you can't truly diagnose Alzheimer's until the patient is dead and you can look at their brain. Most likely, your grandmother had dementia. I hope you can appreciate the time you have left with her.
KE Clarke, yes it is true that you can not definitively tell if a person has Alzheimer's disease until you can look at their brain. Her doctors say that they are treating it like Alzheimer's even though they can not fully diagnose her. I find that interesting though that they are helping her specifically for Alheimer's or maybe I just misheard. Lots of info. I know how difficult it is when someone you have known all of your life just forgets who you are. Hope you and your grandparents enjoy the time you have with them and make all of the days with them special and as happy as they can be.
judy rotunno aw... my grandfather also has alzheimer... But he can never remember anything. He can’t even watch the TV because he doesn’t understand what a TV is. If I point at the TV he looks very confused. But he is always very happy and kind (thank god!). He doesn’t know who I am but he knows that he should know. He has started to get confused after meals now, he eats very fast and then gets upset because everyone else is eating exept him...♥️♥️♥️♥️
Magda.L that is awesome that he is a happy and kind person. I have heard of some horror stories where the person suffering is very mean and rude and violent. Thankfully for us as well, my grandma is very nice and happy as well. In fact... she is nicer and more happy then she ever was. I can not image how frustrating it must be not to remember someone or something that you know you should remember. Hope the days you are with him are happy and that you laugh and enjoy the silly moments. That is the only thing you can do.
judy rotunno hang in there Judy, my grandmother had dementia. I think the best thing u can do is be there for them as much as you can. Things won't be perfect. But they can be comforted, and you can help them through the hard times of when they are really confused or are afraid. I wish I had been there more for my grandmother. I think coconut oil, definitely helps. Also they say organ meat helps. I've also heard of a ketogenic diet. Getting rid of aluminum pans, Mercury fillings, and other things in their diet can help. God bless you and your grandparent
Thanks for the tips at the end. I often tell my grandma „well, don’t be sad, it doesn‘t matter“ but never really thought about it. It might matter to her. 🤦🏼♀️
I have quite a good memory and I learn fast but due to years of depression and anxiety I don't remember ~70% of what my life was like this past 10 years. I guess my brain was so overworked with worry and sadness that it didn't have the capacity to make day to day memories or remember the stuff that I was learning. I have huge knowledge gaps from high school and uni. When I talk with my friends I mostly remember emotions and they just spit dates and events on left and right. For me it's just a haze because every day was full of fear or tiredness and blended into another. Luckily I got better this past 2 years because of antidepressants and therapy. It was a shock tho when the meds started working and my mind wasn't full of fog anymore. Like holly shit I could remember yesterday's morning?? And what I did or planned to do?? Literally life changing.
Olcia27 Sounds great, what a present that your brain works again and that you're felling much better! I wish you the best for your future!! You seem to be a very strong person.
I’m glad to hear someone else say this. I have always felt like a failure because of the lack of memories from my depressive periods and even though I thought it was because of that noone ever said anything so I just assumed my memory is crap, but I learn fast and remember a lot of stuff.. happy to hear you are doing better. Good luck with everything
I'm so glad I'm not the only one. I can't remember most of the last 10 years either.
Oh my god it is even possible to fully remember yesterday morning? I can't even remember 10 min ago clearly 😅
you rest just reminded me again that I seriously need a therapist. thank
I thought this was only me!!! I'm a high schooler and don't really remember grade 3rd through grade 7th/8th (did last two in one year) except for incredibly important, high emotion things. I don't remember the dates or places or why I was there, I just remember being there and feeling intense emotions surrounding one important thing. It's actually really upsetting bc my family will be talking about some amazing memory from years ago but, bc my brain didn't register it as deathly important, I don't recall it at all and I just have to take their word on it.
I'm so late here but when you said, "Just because I don't remember you, doesn't mean I don't love you." It quite literally snatched the breath out of my lungs and my heart just stopped for I don't even know how long. We all have our own problems in life, myself included but watching your videos seriously makes me realize just how much worst things COULD be but aren't. And even if they were there are people, like you who make it work regardless and it's absolutely beautiful and I'm so glad that I found your channel.
My ADHD can make my memory really unreliable. I often don't remember life events from the past, I left things, or things I have been told if I didn't write it down. Oddly enough I can often remember facts I read about and how to do things, because my visual memory seems to be a lot better. When I take my medication regularly my memory is more in the normal range, but if I haven't taken my medication in a while it gets progressively worse. Waking up with no clue where you are or forgetting the name of someone you care about can be ultra distressing. I always carry a notebook with me to write down facts I should remember and to do lists, otherwise I can never get anything done. People I work for are always impressed with how thorough I am by taking notes, when the reality is I can't do a good job without them. My memory is not as bad as yours, but the tips you included apply just as well for making friends with someone with my level of memory.
My visual memory is way better too. I keep telling people if they want me to remember their name they need to add me on Facebook so I can see it written down.
Thank you for sharing this! I found this very relatable, since dissociation and ADHD leaves me with a terrible short-term memory. I get very upset when chunks of my life are just a vague blur, and I'll also struggle with the date and if I've taken my medication, as well as struggling to remember if something actually happened or did I just dream about it. Dealing with the level where you forget how you got somewhere sounds really frightening, and I think I'd be especially upset if a doctor caused it by physically damaging my brain. I'm glad you have supportive people in your life, and that you don't seem to blame yourself. Although it's distressing for me, it's not severe enough that I can express to other people that it's not "normal". It seems like they're trying to be reassuring rather than dismissive most of the time. When someone complains to me I've found that I also have the impulse to relate a similar struggle of mine own, maybe to show understanding.
So, my big thing to keep in mind is to use my response to validate rather than dismiss; "That's tough! I already get frustrated when it's just forgetting why I opened the fridge." And, as with all invisible disabilities, I try to remember that if I improved by trying and they haven't, it probably means their hurdle is higher. I shouldn't assume I can judge the difficulty from outside.
I can't imagine what that is like. You are such a brave and lovely soul Jessica.
When I get really stressed out or am in a depressive episode, my memory gets really bad. I can remember that certain things happened, but I can't remember if they happened earlier today or yesterday or a week ago. And then some things that happen when I'm in that state I just can't remember at all. It's really frustrating and it makes me feel even more disconnected from reality than my mental health state already does. After this video I think I might talk to my doctor about it.
My autistic 16 year old repeats alot of things he wants to do or wants....mostly his interests and I don't mind, I am used to it, but my boyfriend doesn't understand.....well your video may help me explain a bit more. It's not the same situation, but it gives a general idea of ''be patient with people and their memory lost'' and the fact that you have to repeat...patience is the key ! Thank you Jessica 😊
Sandrine Marien I can relate to that a lot. I'm on the spectrum and when I get excited about something or I'm just really interested in something I'll repeat it a million times. On the other side I do the same when things really are upsetting. I feel like the reason I do it is because the emotions build up so much that they have to come out of my mouth so I can share that excitement or frustration to alleviate the build up. Maybe it's the same for your son? Either way patience is the key
thank you so much, this will help, greatly appreciated 💚😊
I have ADHD so I can certainly relate to this apsect. I would say my memory issues are less extreme, but I experience all of the things you mentioned. (moreso than the average person forgetting why they've done something) I need to set something up with my phone to remind myself of things... but you can see where that goes wrong. One of the things I do to attempt to help is I will say things out loud to myself, or tell people I am going to do something. Sometimes they will remind me but it is more, sometimes things 'stick' better if I say them in addition to thinking them. It makes the 'memory' of the thing I want to do more detailed.
It is always interesting to me to see crossover aspects/such from different issues.
I hate when people don’t understand how things affect us like memory issues and fatigue because they experienced from time to time at a much lesser extent. I find memory issues so frustrating too thank you for talking about this once again you explain it so well xx
I don't have as severe problems with memory, but a lot of what you said resonated with me as a person living with inattentive ADHD, so thank you for sharing your experience! I especially relate to the frustration with people dismissing your memory issues as quirks that everyone has. Yes, everyone has memory problems from time to time but it becomes an issue when time to time is multiple times a day every day over the course of your life. Thank you for sharing this Jessica!!
I have ADHD and this is so me. I’ve actually lost a job or two from forgetting or misunderstanding something, but it’s taught me not to stay with jobs that require so much short term memory because I just can’t do it. It’s nice to know that I’m not alone in this 💖
You are so eloquent and this video really explains memory problems so well. I'm going to send it to my close friends who hear "My memory isn't working" and still get upset and hurt when I don't remember to return a call, or realize how many days went by before I called them back, or disappear altogether for a couple of months. I'm so tired of feeling guilty.
I love the bit about how people will be like oh Im forget stuff all the time, because I have dissociative disorder and it drives me absolutely crazy when people are like oh it doesn't matter I forger stuff all the time.. And I'm like No! You do not understand >///
SAME
Ugh this
My late stepfather had stage 4 cancer and brain tumors and suffered from extreme short term memory loss so we’d right everything he needed to do in his notebook. Oneday he was going through his to do list and on it between “buy more bread” and “clean the pool” he had a bunch of bullet points for my mom saying “tell her how beautiful she is” “make her smile every single day” and “tell her how much I appreciate her” just to name a few. I love him so much and it was beautiful to see
I have intermittent memory problems because of the brain fog I get with ME. Most of the time my memory is ok but it's very distressing when it just goes and I can't find the word I want or remember what I was about to do. I feel so vulnerable then. I make lots of lists! Thank you for making this video Jessica :)
For me, I constantly forget where I've put things down. When my husband picks up my phone wherever he's found it, and gives it to me wherever I've wandered off to, it makes me incredibly happy
I think it's so frustrating that they forgot about it and let the fluid come out. You're life would be so different if that didn't happen :(
I love your hair and makeup by the way. You're personality makes me so happy :)
I mean people die like that cause that CSF fluid keeps your brain floating and makes it stay in the skull, if you dont have enough CSF then your brain will herniate and you'll die. Idk how they could make such a stupid mistake.
The part where you said "just because I don't remember you, doesn't mean I don't love you" honestly made me cry.
Learned the BSL alphabet this week, I have a deaf cousin & I had learned a few signs but never really got into it. Your videos have inspired me so much and now I'm really looking forward to learning a new language :)
Amazing! Well done! I’m sure you and your cousin can have many great conversations to come 💕
I like how no matter what happens she is always smiling. She keeps everything positive and it makes me happy and reminds me to not let bad things effect my life negatively
I had to switch my med alarms to daily reminders. They go off like an alarm but I have to tick a separate box to say I've done it in order for the reminder to go away. Huuuuge improvement in med taking for me.
I have chronic fatigue, ADHD, neuropathy and dementia too! We really have so much in common!
As someone with ADHD I related to this video so hard, especially the part about remembering things about fictional characters more than real people! I'm really glad to hear other people have experiences similar to mine, I get very upset about my memory problems and knowing other people go through it too makes it a little less lonely. Thank you for this video!!
The worst thing people say about memory is “oh it must not have been that important”. Even saying it about themself after they’ve forgotten something, it cuts deep because I try so hard but still forget so many things that are desperately important to me. :/
I've never heard anything quite like this but it is rather interesting as well as terrible why people can be very forgetful. As always Jessica, very insightful content.
THIS all day long! Thank you for making this video because SO many people get frustrated at having to repeat things enough times to get memories into my long-term memory. I had a mild TBI from a car accident, and my short-term memory was damaged. Now 6 years later people are frustrated that I still have the memory problems...um, what? I'm ALWAYS going to have these problems because my brain was damaged! I also have a nice sampling of autoimmune diseases on top of it, and having hidden disabilities can be super exhausting! Thank you for sharing your experiences and your fabulousness with all of us! 💖
"Because I don't remember doesn't mean I don't love you". This is so beautiful!
Roughly 94% of your description of this feels like you wrote it from my own heart
Hope the doctor responsible was censured form allowing you to cone due to csf leakage! Oh wow that’s a nightmare. I also have short term memory issues due to being misdiagnosed and having too low an oxygen level for too long before then realised their mistake and sent me to icu. That part of my skipful of disabilities has improved (now 20 years on) but my other disabilities do feed into it. It’s a nightmare. Like you I forget to write down the things I need to remember. Aren’t bodies a nuisance!
If you watch the video, you'll see that part of her brain died. Had that continued, she would be dead now. So she didn't get out of it unscathed.
I had a similar experience: apoxia during surgery. I also developed epilepsy as a result. The year is 2020, but I thought it might be helpful to know someone can relate.
Calendars, schedules, to do lists, post-its, my google alarms and reminders... I use them all just to juggle my way through a busy life and manage all the events of an active family. You are a wizard to be able to track you way through your days when you struggle with your short term memory!
My mom suffered from Alzheimer's and my husband is in early stages, and as caregiver to both it is helpful to hear your insights on short-term memory struggles, which they can't necessarily articulate. Thank you.
It's awesome that you share your story and your struggles with the world. It's very inspiring! I don't really have memory problems, but my Father-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimers about 2 years ago. We're all trying to do our best to take it one day at a time and be patient with him because has to be terrifying for him as well as us.
Been brought here, because of Jammie and Shaaba. But i'm so glad i am here.
Can't wait to see more. Thank you for you honesty, personality and your content. So good.
Your videos always make me happy, because of your ability to radiate happiness and calm no matter what you talk about.
I spent 1.5 hours on the floor today in a combined rag doll/brain fog, until my fiancee came home and helped me to the sofa, where I've spent the rest of the day. It's been the worst episode in years, and I have a whole barrage of physical/mental/neurological examinations coming up to figure out what more is wrong with me. So today I'm extra glad that you posted a video about disabilities, because watching you talk about these things always make me feel calmer and less strange.
I used to have a very, very good memory, but due to stress, burn-outs, anxiety, fatigue, and fibromyalgia, it's gotten gradually worse. I can also tell a clear difference in periods where I'm nore stress. Like you, the cognitive problems are what worries and bothers me the most. The pain and physical problems I can handle, but being in a brain fog and feeling your whole mental being stop working...
I'm glad you have such support from patient people around you, just as I have my fiancee and family. They are invaluable. :)
My grandma has dementia and this video really helps me to understand what she’s going through and how to help her deal with it, so thank you so much :)💕
Wow!!... She explains everything with a smile!. It breaks my heart and yet puts a smile on my face as well seeing her as an inspiration!!
You are amazing!! This is so relatable. I have POTS, EDS, MCAD, and a sleep disorder. People don’t understand that I literally DO NOT REMEMBER. It’s more than just being forgetful.
My favorite part of short term memory problems is when you get the (sometimes frantic) sense that you need something right this moment but you don't know what it is or why. So you start just blind searching around hoping something will magically jump out at you as a clue as to why you feel so compelled to search. It's even better when someone catches you doing this and helpfully asks what you are looking for. You then have to admit: "I don't really know... but I'm also not crazy. I promise." 😋🙃
😂😂😂🥰🥰🥰
It hit me so hard when you talked about how memory problems are so frustrating, even when compared to what most people would assume to be more "complex" health problems. I have a pile of health problems too and nothing makes me cry tears of frustration like my poor memory. It can make me feel so stupid and incapable of being independent. Thank you for putting this feeling into such eloquent words; I feel less alone. :-)
I can’t believe u don’t even have 1 mill subs ur vids are amazing
Every video you make talking about your disability and experiences teaches me so much not only about disability but empathy and positivity in general
"The best way to cope with those feelings is to take them and then just set them aside" ... because I WILL forget about them 😅
Oh my gosh, THANK YOU. I feel this in my soul as I'm quite the same (yay Chemo-fog!)
Gonna send people this video next time I have to explain this to people in my life
Thank you thank you thank you ❤
Seeing this video made my day. My short-term working memory is also practically nonexistent and it's extremely frustrating to try and explain to people that yes, it's a disability, and yes, it's not your average forgetfulness because I can't remember your name. Or the names and faces of people I've met. Or the date. Or the year. Or even how old I am.
Time also moves extremely oddly for me- everything jumbles together and weeks can easily feel like days. Sometimes a month flies by and sometimes an hour feels like a week. However, years consistently feel like they're too short- there's always something missing.
My biggest tip for helping anyone with memory problems is forms where you have to fill in personal information. Don't drop anyone off at the dentist or doctors- walk in and stay with them and help them complete the form that you're always given. If I have trouble remembering how old I am then please don't expect to memorize my health concerns and medication for the past couple of years. That information is just.... not there.
My second tip is: If you're planning an event then tell me in advance multiple times- including the day that it's actually happening. In written format. That's very important.
Third tip: If you have memory problems carrying around a planner is amazing, but if something is extremely important then write it down on your arm or wrist. You will never misplace your limbs because hopefully they are attached to your body.
And lastly, even if I can't remember your face or your name or your birthday, it doesn't mean I don't care about you or love you.
Thank you for making this video! As a person who has had strokes ~ this was so important to me. With my last one I couldn't speak or remember. This lasted for a week, recovery was slow 🐌, but it also left me rather slow in speach. I SO APPRECIATED people who had patience with me. And those that did not have patience with me with me left me feeling incredibly small and stupid which increased my slow speech. I also have a problem with short term memory. Blessings, Katherine
All of these videos teaching others about aspects of certain disabilities that we wouldn't normally think of are so educational and important, thank you so much!
"Just because I don't remember you, doesn't mean I don't love you".
Uggh that hit hard...
My grandma has memory loss.
Your perspective of life is quite inspiring💗💗💗.
Jessica, I admire you so much. Despite the fact that I don't have any diagnosed disability, your videos helping me so much. (Not only videos, just knowing that you exist and live somewhere) The way you live through all the problems you have, with all the cheerfulness and that smile on your face. I think you are an incredible person and thank you for everything you do.
The getting distracted halfway through 10 potentially important tasks is something I have issues with. I don't have bad memory problems at all, but I have pretty bad ADD that developed without any intervention through my entire childhood because I was a very intelligent kid and managed to completely hide it from everyone because stubbornness. My mom has to give me lists and keep them in plain sight, because if you just tell me, I will do the first thing then go do something else. I also have to write all over books because I forget important information; I even keep a character reference page for names and crap. I've had lots of medications for migraines though, and some of them have had screwed with my short term memory temporarily. It's very scary to not be in control of your mind, even more so than losing control of your body. Your entire consciousness resides within it, so not being able to rely on it is difficult.
This is so relatable. I so appreciate having someone like you willing to share your experience and how you deal and keep positive about it all. I’m constantly intending to write stuff down but forget to even write it down. Or then forget to look at my lists or planner. I have lots of alarms on my phone bc I get so nervous I’ll forget to pick my son up from school on time because it varies. The advice for others is helpful and I’m going to have to share with my husband (though thankfully, he’s really good about dealing with my forgetfulness!)
jessica I love you so much !! this is the first time I've been so early to a video! your videos make me feel calm and quietly content; as well as making me feel not so alone(my antidepressants make me have hyper-realistic dreams so sometimes I can't remember if something really happened or not). your advice is always so good and healing. thank you for doing what you do!
Thank you for such a lovely comment ♥️
If you're having hyper realistic dreams you could try lucid dreaming. It would probably be fairly easy if you already have good dream memory and hyper realistic dreams and it could help you sort those memories out
Your positivity is an inspiration for us all. Your videos are my little doses of sunshine! 🤗
I feel this with my ADHD! My memory is quite similar to yours except I also have a lot of trouble remembering further back like I couldnt tell you much about two years ago and remembering how old I was at certain times is also very hard or even just remembering what years things happened!
I needed this. It made me feel heard, not alone. I stumbled over it because I wanted to know who that person was in a gif I liked. I was in the middle of taking notes on a mental health book for myself, rereading a 4th time because I couldn't remember what I read 3 times in a row. I cried multiple times in the video, and I had to rewind it twice to the beginning to remember what you said. I had to rewind it again at the end to write all of your listed recommendations. I felt so many things you said, things that follow me around and make every week hard. I feel embarrassed and guilty all the time, because my memory has done such a 180 and I can't keep up with the consequences. I have a hard time making friends or getting important things done.
I'll forget to get my credit card replaced that I lost two weeks ago.
I only just started remembering 2 people at the studio that I have danced with every week for more than half a year.
I'll forget that I moved my car, and my first thought is that I got towed, calling my partner up in a panic.
I'll note my lunch, which was placed on the edge of my desk while working, and I will promptly forget about it. I'll repeat this process more times than I can count until so many hours have gone by that I realize I'm starving. Sometimes I don't realize until my partner walks in and immediately gets on me for not eating...and I'll eat it then...because now I feel super guilty for not eating the lunch they made me so that I would remember to eat that day.
Recently, my partner silently dropped a cardboard box on my desk and walked away sighing. It was the frozen meal I made and left in the toaster oven all day. I went back to reheat it for 5 minutes...and forgot about it again.
Many times I will remember to eat it right before they end their workday, because I remember the guilt more than anything else.
I know what it's from, but it's a hard thing to accept and learn how to carry on with living and functioning. And I don't know if it will keep getting worse or not.
Relating so much to this as a person with hypothyroidism and fibromyalgia! Wishing you all well
Hey I also have hypothyroidism, I rarely ever find anyone else that does haha
Seriously? :o In Norway I hear about loads of people struggling with it haha
Olaila supposedly in australia it is very common I just never actually find anyone else with it
I thought I was crazy for the forgetting things with hypothyroidism! It’s so reassuring to see someone with the same problems
Olive Jarbly yeah for ages I didn't even know that was a thing
I have ADHD, and this is super relatable, to be honest. Disabled solidarity 😅 love your channel!
I cannot tell you how much comfort and sanity this video brought to me, this evening especially. I have short-term memory issues *just like this* due to and illness, and I often feel absolutely nuts because I will lose a moment. Just like that. I had a particular upsetting moment regarding this about an hour before I saw this video. You explained your memory loss in such a concise and perfect way, and as unfortunate as it is that you experience it too, it's nice to not feel alone with this.
My main one is when by the time I pick up my phone or tablet and open up a web search then realize I can't remember what I wanted to look up.
I have a theory that screens work just like physical doorways in that respect. I open up my phone and it's just like I'm in a different room. Which is part of why I hate that the Google app has a news feed now! It's hard enough to remember what I wanted to search when I had to pass 2 screens to get here, and now they're purposely distracting me? It feels malicious.
OMG yes, the " entering a room and totally forgetting what you came into the room for, only to go back into the previous room and then suddenly remember what you went into the room for" effect lol.
Have you ever done it multiple times too? Like, "Why did I come into the kitchen... ok, back to living room... Oh that's right, tea... Why did i come into the kitchen again? "
What is that little person next to your name?
Bailey Burrell It's Jessica! It's the badge for sponsors. She did a video detailing all the benefits.
do you use apple device? if you do, you can turn on hey siri. the moment you have the thought, you can say "hey siri, what is …"
I have memory problems that aren't as serious as yours, but quite relatable. I believe they come from my mental health problems like ADHD, BPD and depression, which all lead to some memory issues. I dissociate sometimes, which also helps in the whole "not remembering" thing. You're so relatable and really quite an inspiration. Even though you have multiple reasons why you could just wallow in self-pity, you choose to be happy with what you have been given and work towards doing the best you can. And of course you sometimes feel down, but you just go back up.
I have memory issues most likely due to multiple concussions. I’m also someone who has adhd so I get distracted very easily. If someone asks me to do something, I have to repeat it out loud to them, have them repeat it back a few times, then I continue repeating it until I’ve completed the task. I also tend to mix up my memories. I’m currently writing a series where season 1 tells my story. Unfortunately the only parts of my life I can really grasp memories of are the bad memories, so the only good memories I have of childhood are the ones told to me by my cousin. Ones we have discussed repeatedly. Right now I live with people who help me remember my work schedule because I’m not on a set schedule. One of the reasons I love being part of the drama team at my church is because of the repetition in the signs we use when we do songs in sign or the repeated dance moves because it feels good to remember things. I’m not even sure if this was where I was going with this comment because I forgot what I was trying to say and just went with it.
So relatable. I'm nearly Deaf, and I have ME/CFS. 4 years ago I had a major stroke, and had a lot of damage in my right hippocampus - where those short term memories happened. It also controls language acquisition, so I forgot all of my Hebrew, and all of my Spanish. I was very dodgy with my native English for the next 6 months, and I still stumble fairly often. I'm trying to relearn my other languages, but the words slide off of my brain like Teflon. It just doesn't stick. Living in Israel, not being able to recall the language is extremely frustrating, and socially isolating, so I had to move to a more Anglo community.
I think the very worst part of it, is that I've forgotten entire years of my daughter's childhood. I look at pictures from when she was little, and she was so adorable, and that is the only connection I have to those years. I waited 38 years to have this delicious child, and she's almost an adult now. She's my most beloved and favorite person in the world, and to lose those memories is excruciating. I would literally lose my legs, if I could have my memories back.
"YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THESE THINGS."
"How am I supposed to remember to remember? That is not how it workssssssss."
I have always had really bad memory due to ADHD and stuff like that. but also with anxiety, depression, possible PTSD, medication and 3 concussions, my cognitive functions have gotten worse and worse.
It was the worse it's ever been on the few months after my last concussion. Like usually if someone reminds me of something I forgot I will probably at least sort of remembering what they reminded me of. But after the concussion it was just total blank. Even if someone reminded me of something I would still have 0 recollection, not even an inkling or a feeling. Sounded like they were just making it up. I believed them though.
Hey Jessica! This is such a comfort to me right now. I have anxiety and PTSD, and it can mess with my short term memory. I was brought into hospital a few days ago because I was having muscle spasms and my heart rate skyrocketed. I’m fine, it was low blood sugar and a very severe panic attack but in the days since I’ve had such a foggy head and I can’t remember things I just did 5 minutes ago. Watching you makes me feel less scared and less alone. All my love 💖
When you know you've added that sweater to wishlist somewhere and can't remember who makes it! But seriously, I am amazed at all the ways you've adapted.
I don't have nearly as much of a problem with short term memory as what you describe, but I often have trouble remembering stuff that happened earlier that day. As I also have a lot of disabilities (among them are hypermobility syndrome and POTS), this means I usually have somebody accompanying me to medical appointments, and also writing down what is said at those appointments.
I think a lot of people don't realise how much it affects life, and while I can remember things after 2-3 days... that's still quite some time from when something happened that I can't recall properly.
I really love your videos, and how you seem determined to be happy. It helps a lot knowing that there are people out there with similar health problems that manages to work through it all and be happy in their lives.
"Hi! I'm Jessica, and that's one thing I don't forget!" Love it😂
So good to see this being talked about in a public space so sweetly and honestly, thank you. I have bad short term memory, drs think its because if heat induced seizures I had as a baby. It's so hard to get people to realise it is a real thing. Some get so annoyed when I ask them to write something down or to send me an email instead of yahyahing at me and I'm just supposed to remember😥😣 Thanks Jessica for talking about this!!