Explaining what's wrong with my hands [CC]
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ย. 2019
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**CAPTIONS CURRENTLY SYNCING**
Thank you for watching and always being so lovely
Jessica Kellgren-Fozard I absolutely love you!! X
Have a lovely evening Jessica! Love your channel x
This Video is the only thing entertaining me while I lay in agony from period pain. I always watch your videos during this time of the month to motivate me through the pain. Will you do a video talking about your menstrual cycle? I can imagine it is probably painful with your condition. Love you darling keep up the beautiful work if you ever come to the US I would love to see you! 💕💕
you're awesome, much love x
"Medical Beige" could be a Pantone color name (I have C.P., so I, too, have been surrounded by accessibility equipment that is *that* particular hue).
Every time she mentions modern tech I’m reminded she’s not a sophisticated 1940’s celebrity
Eeriel Constantine I’m glad I’m not the only one
Kylie Goodale
Yeah same, lmao.
Eeriel Constantine Hellen Keller?
right
same 😂😂😂
I feel inadequately dressed to watch this video.
At least you're dressed
I'm wearing a Halloween nightgown in August so this is a mood
Me too, but it could be the complete lack of pants...
Frick- me too
Right 😭 didn’t realize we needed to be in formal dress
“Why would I inconvenience myself just to make others feel less awkward”
I think this is my new favorite quote.
CourtneyMarie 6661 it is a really great quote out of Jessica
SO good!
Absolutely. :)
Totally this
That's what I think when alcohol-loving people offer me drinks.
she could go into great detail on how she was going to murder me and id just sit and listen to her... her voice is so smooth and comforting
She would make an awesome villain
Oh, have no doubt, she is preparing to kill us all.... With kindness.
@@VeroAGO lol and i will let her hahah
@@noobwthbewbs6554 resistance is futile
@@TallgeeseMark1 she already has the hair for Poison Ivy.
I would love her to play that role in a movie starting her and narrated by her.
Sooo... you're deaf, have memory problems and your hands don't work properly...
You're the toughest person I've ever seen
You just get on with it though you have too lol
As well as migraines, chronic pain, and being partially blind... Jessica is TOUGH
As well as having a connective tissue disorder and other illnesses. She is a fighter🤷🏽♀️
She's tough as nails, but with the grace of a queen.
It's a hell of a combo! ❤
I've been seriously talking about Jessica with some people, cause I'm bipolar, always tired, have migraines, and pain in my stomach and feet, probably psychosomatic... And she makes me feel I could have a full life anyways.
when she talks about her childhood I imagine it being in the 50's cause she's SO VINTAGE, and so I have to remind myself that it was probably in the 90's
It was actually early 2000's, she's 30yo (born in 1989) LOL
Mariana Carvalho I thought I was the only one lol
Lol me too and I didn't even realize it until you said this. That's to funny 😂
@@overratedheartbreak4286 I didn't explained my point well
What I meant was that MOSTLY of her childhood and teenage years (the period she talks about more) were during early 2000's
Me too
I love that Jessica walks this perfect line of being amused by her own disabilities and being very respectful when she talks about disabilities in general. She is also so eloquent and well-spoken, and also classy af.
Yeah she reminds me of my mother (she has ms and has problems walking etc.) And she teached me so much when it comes to living with positivity and humour with a disability. My mother is amazing, she really made me more aware of that stuff in the right way, which has helped me in my life even before i got diagnosed with ms myself.
Two stories i need to tell now just bc i love my mum akd tgose memories:
-She tripped and fell on the floor and just said "well, i was about to sit down anyways, how practical"
- when a sheep walked into her and all the sheep started to run around bc she fell over, and i didn't even see her anymore under all the sheep and i was worried she might get hurt, she said afterwards "we just have the nicest sheep, not one of them stepped on me"
“Lesbianism: blasts away your other concerns!” no that got me 😂
Honestly I choked on my drink when she said that lmao
I have a brain injury and my gallows humour around that is thrilled by Jessica's wit and humour. She's fantastic! A perfect pin-up 🥰
Teenage crushes definitely take your mind off other things. I went to freaking HONG KONG over Easter 1995-my dad had to go for work, so they sent the whole family with him for the first 10 days or so. Did I appreciate any of it? Not really. Why? I had a crush on a boy from the school play. I asked him to my prom a day or two before we left. (And in the end, he wasn’t worth it. Of course.)
“There is a certain glamour in being a T. rex” the sentence I never thought I’d hear but I love anyway
I came down here to comment about that line too, I want that one as a gif lol!
Glamorous T-rex tshirt?
I like your style
Them electrocuting your arms and actually MEASURING the lack of conductivity but still implying that you're making it up is the most relatable disabled experience ever holy shit
THIS
THIS. I’ve been indirectly accused of faking my overall debilitating weakness...
I was 15 and emotionally unstable.
(I mean, I still am 15 and emotionally unstable.)
@@BookBird2963 can I just say you are officially one of my favorite people. I mean, everything I know about you comes from 25 words, but still. I'm glad you exist and I'm sorry that it will sometimes suck. If it makes you feel better, 15 is an inherently emotionally unstable time. If you can love on yourself like she loves on her hands, you'll actually be a more emotionally mature human than most everyone around you.
The secret is we're all a little broken here
@Shufei This gave me chills. Even from female doctors, you get this. :(
I once had electrodes attached to my head to measure brain activity and some stuff to do with neurons and electrical currents. They did it twice because the first set of results was and I quote 'bizzare and probably caused by error' when that set of results repeated itself they realised there probably was something quite wrong with me. Nevertheless a week later I was accused of lying when they couldn't figure out WHY my brain was doing this and thought I had somehow faked some very messed up brain test results on purpose ☺
"I guess there is some glamour in being a t-rex". Gosh I wish I could be 1/3 as witty as this woman.
Being a T-Rex is a great way to humor yourself when your arms don't work. It's my nickname too after 10 elbow surgeries. My arms feel comfy at 90 degree angles so I keep them there when I don't have to move them and therefore my new name was created when a customer saw me like that and commented on me holding my arms like a T-Rex. Now people call me Lizard instead of my name. :p it's actually fun to pick on my arms this way rather than be negative all the time.
@@oldladytrexarms this makes me think of you and you're friends replicating the T-Rex scene from Jurassic Park.
Kid: "I can't move or feel my arms"
Adults: "Well, aren't you a special snowflake"
Right? When she said her parents were finally taking her seriously I found that funny. Arms not working isn’t a normal teenage experience.
Seriously!!! I remember starting at like 13 telling my mom “my arm hurts” or “I have pain in my hips” and she would just be like “you’re not bleeding, you’re fine.” In her defense she thought it was growing pains, I was 20 before people started listening.
She speaks more clear than the people who can hear... She's awesome
Oh wait I had forgotten she's deaf
I really want to know how she learned to do that
Wait,she's deaf!???
Gina Yep
She’s trained herself to do so, I was in training but I had to stop, and I constantly sound stuffy or something.
_arms are broken_
Doctors: *They shall be punished. Electrocute them*
The test is pretty painless now. Chiropractors even do it.
HOW DARE YOU BE BROKEN USELESS PIECES OF S-
I had that done on my legs - movement was OK, but numb. The doctor said, "Now, I warn you this can be 'uncomfortable'". In that way they tell you a huge needle going into you is a "little pinch". So I braced myself for excruciating pain.
It felt... good. Over-volting damaged nerves allowed me to actually feel them for the first time in months, and it was *wonderful*.
After the test was over the doctor asked me if I was OK to get up and walk out, or did I need a moment to "recover".
I asked him if I could take the machine home with me. :-)
At least they didn't suggest leeches
Her arms seem to not be working, lets fix that with a controlled shock.
Wait, she's deaf? She speaks clearer than a lot of people who can hear
Wait, shes deaf?
I hope she knows how pretty voice is.
Well... She's *almost* deaf
she has a video where she explains why she speaks so well
She wasnt born deaf, so that probably contributed a fair bit
She also isn't completely deaf, so she can hear a little bit, but for the most part she can't hear. She lost her hearing when she was a teenager I think (I can't remember).
"Why on earth would I inconvenience myself just to make others feel less awkward?"
Exactly.
I feel like this needs to be publicly posted
can we have "lesbianism! blasts away your other concerns" on a shirt pls that is one of the greatest things i have heard lately
What do it mean?
I second this!!!
Yes we need that!
heck yeah
Not a lesbian, but I would love to rock this tee! This quote is really the best
Her description skills are NEXT LEVEL.
Breanna Brooks I know! Its like say links in the DESCRIPTION
I am seriously considering showing this to my doctor because the way she describes sensation (or lack there of) is ridiculously accurate but so far beyond how I’ve tried.
I’ve said it feels like I’m wearing wool socks, but I’m not. Her description is so better.
@@melissapotter7976 yeah I need her at my next doctor appointment too
It was like I'm reading a book
Right!?
I always hate it when people assume that someone doesn't have any issues because they "don't look disabled."
Perfect example: My mom has MS, and has balance issues as a result. Some people just assume that she's drunk. Another example is myself. I have hydrocephalus (water-on-the-brain, in more common terms), so I get constant migraines. I can't even tell you how many people assume that I'm just being dramatic or that I've been using drugs.
Invisible injury/ wounded walking. I got a crash course on that after a very serious stroke 2 years ago. I recovered quite well. But no one can notice all the work I constantly do to compensate for the damage (most of my right hemisphere of my brain is dead and gone) and lingering issues from that damage. I can compensate so well that the state doesn't consider me disabled in any capacity
My doctors don't even bother to try to do any form of testing beyond an MRI... and I have crippling migraines.
I am a very athletic looking paraplegic... So I sometimes get "oh how long do you have left in the chair?" Umm... Until I can get these stupid legs to do what they are told. Lol! I hope I can be as poised as she is when I explain my disability. She's Amazing!!
I also get migraines and they make me sick sometimes. I've had people just assume it's because of drug use. It's discouraged me from using medication to help with them.
my mom also has ms but she can't walk at all, she can't even stand up or sit by herself, basically it got so bad that she can't live by herself, we basically live for her
SSRIs destroyed my fine motor control. I went from being a decent juggler, sketch artist and martial artist to not being able to pick coins from the table and accidentally throwing pens or utensils as often as picking them up correctly. Then I developed the family curse, diabetes. That sheath covering the nerves in my lower legs an arms, hands and feet and face is dissolving in my overly sweet blood. I not only lost fine control, I now have no surface sensation and the deep tissue and muscle are in constant pain. My fiancée left me because she couldn't handle the idea of looking after a physically disabled, depressed husband for the next rest of her entire life. I fully understand that and I'm only slightly brimming with complete bitterness.
Suicidally depressed before hand, I now have a bright future of paralysis, blindness and progressive amputations and abject loneliness to fill the last half of my life.
I mention this so you fully comprehend the gravity of the following. You dicsussing a condition very similar to my own, in such a delightful manner, has not only brought a smile to my rubbery face but actually made me Laugh Out Loud.
Thank you.
What meds were you on that caused this???
I can't say enough how much I hope you find people who support and love you in the way you deserve
Wait..I’ve taken SSRIs for like 10 years..
Was this a rare side effect? 😭
I'm sorry you were abandoned when you needed support the most, by someone who was supposed to be there for you and love you unconditionally. :(
@@laurenmiller4824 ssris can have serious side effects and long term complications but I haven't heard of this particular one that OP described, so I'd say it's likely rare- and was in combination with familial/genetic diabetes. It also depends on specific drug itself...I wouldn't take one person's story and be overly alarmed when things happen with all medications. Just be vigilant with paying attention to your body and monitoring your health, taking advantage of as much preventative care as you can get, as we all should :)
“They don’t actually take direct orders from me.”
If that is not the moodiest mood ever then idk what is
*whispers* Mares...
i read this as she was saying it 🤭
Me when it comes to my brain issues
This is often a Functional Neurological Disorder, which basically means you experience a neurological symptom or syndrome that the doctor can’t explain. In Jess’s case, they were able to ID a genetic disease, but if they don’t figure out why you’re sick - don’t let them diagnose you with Conversion Disorder or tell you it’s psychosomatic - you’re not nuts. There are lots of neurological events that research is learning to detect but physicians may take decades to incorporate this knowledge into their practice.
Ashley Marie mood
Omg she’s like a Barbie come to life but with a personality and a feeling like she can probably throw one hell of a dinner party
Taye Nic lol
She just can’t pass the butter to well
She reminds me more of midge then barbie.
Tay's Tings A 40’s Barbie.
PeachDoesArtYT. I’m mad you beat me to it 😂 Definitely Midge.
I remember the first time someone asked if I was “faking” it and I seriously considered what the implication might be if I slapped them ...
Her: I’m having a hard time typing on the computer
Me: but you live in 1940 ....
Me: ohhhhhhhhh wait
Kyoni West hahaha
I have no idea why this was recommended to me via the youtube algorithm but hey, at least I know whats wrong with your hands now. Kinda.
Linlupin same
Snap
Same, but now im tempted to watch her videls
@@selinaricci8279 Same
Me tooo
"Why on earth would I inconvenience myself just to make others feel less awkward" words to live by, honestly
Lovely video, as always
#truth
*Laughing in us who wear hoodies during summer to hide self harm scars*
"protect your wildlife at all costs."
poison ivy is that you????
Kirby JK OH MY GOODNESS YESSSS
Shhhh its called an Alias
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh oh oh oh!! Become an actress! Play poison Ivy!
She's making light of the issue with humor but what she went through must have been real HARD !
She suffered alot & she can still smile, I applaud her strength & confidence !!!!
Go girl 💃🏾
I wish nothing but blessings 🙏🏾🙌🏾
Savannah: As a fellow disabled woman, well member of a disabled plural system with different medical issues but still, the other option is be horribly bitter and depressed that isn't fun, so like why would I not choose to find the humor to be had in the situation and actually live as best as I can manage. *shrug*
“The rest of my fingers are hit and miss.... by which I mean they hit everything I don’t want them to and miss everything I want them to catch.”
"Hilarious in the way of temporary medical emergencies" last friday I was having a cyclic vomiting syndrome episode into some grass (classy, I know) and a girl joked that I was feeding the grass the way a mother bird feeds her young, which is I think the funniest thing anyone's ever said to me during an episode.
Jennifer Herron hey, I have CVS as well and yes, have "fed the birds" in the bushes many times
Honestly I wish more people were like that. It sucks when you have several chronic illnesses and you have them all day every day, and people just bring down the mood by Apologizing and giving you pity looks all the time!
That's literally so fucking funny 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣 so funny
omg I have vomiting issues too and I never knew how much I needed to read this comment lmao thank you so much for sharing it
She started to lose her hearing at fifteen years old. When she was eighteen she lost pretty much all of her hearing (she can hear enough to hear herself and others, but only barely) and thats why she can speak so clearly! Hope this helped!
Scrolling through suggested vids: find glamorous deaf lesbian with unusual hands proceeding to tell the most fascinating and amusing story of why she has unusual hands. Not sure how I got here but very glad I did!
You should honestly narrate audio books, training manuals, etc. Your voice is incredible
Love this! You are so right!
OMG Yes!! Someone get her a contract to record Alice-Miranda novels, her voice would be perfect!!
I would listen to all the books
IKEA assembly instructions so we can actually understand them 😂
XSemperIdem5 genuinely. The Curb Cut effect will mean that she can clearly explain how to manually manipulate things because she’s had to explicitly think about it in a way that others haven’t.
I eagerly await your next children's book, “Jessica the Lesbian T-Rex.”
I will buy that
I would buy that 1000000000%
**lesbian t-Rex Disney princess
*jessica poppins the lesbian t-rex
"Jessica, the Lesbian T-Rex With Hearing Loss and a Host of Neurological Disorders, Puts On A Fabulous Dinner Party" is the full title.
Two years ago I had to have wrist surgery. Prior to the operation the doctor gave me a nerve block so that I wouldn’t feel the pain for the first 24 hours. When I woke up from the surgery and my arm was numb, I freaked out. It was completely dead weight. I tried and tried to lift it even the slightest and I couldn’t. I told my arm to move and it didn’t. I touched it with my other hand and I couldn’t feel it. I had thought that I’d still have some control over the arm and it’d just be numb. I didn’t realize that it would be dead.
Anesthesia never sits well with me and I often get severe anxiety from it in the days following my operations... well, that coupled with thinking my arm was dead.., I completely FREAKED OUT. I wasn’t able to comprehend that my arm was numb only temporarily. I had a full blown panic attack. I cried and screamed as I tried to move my arm, and then tried to rip the compression sleeves off my legs and take my IVs out. In my mind, my arm was stuck like that forever and I’d never be able to use it again. It was terrifying.
The nurses ran in to see what was wrong- imagine a 26 year old screaming like a child in the hospital bed. Completely humiliating now. And my poor mother was standing there desperately trying to help me calm down. They gave me some anxiety meds and knocked me out. I was actually relieved the next day when I felt pain as the nerve block wore off.
I cannot imagine how horrible it must’ve been for her to have a “dead” arm and it NOT be temporary. We take for granted the fact that we can just subconsciously think about moving a limb and it moves. The experience of trying to actively “tell” a body part to move and it doesn’t is terrifying. How horrible those two years must’ve been, to have not just one but two completely useless arms that refuse to work no matter how hard you think and try.
The feeling is like trying to move your hair strands. You know it is a part of your body, you try to make your brain tell that body part to move but it just doesn't work, that's exactly how it is. And as time passes, like she said in the video, your brain forgets how to send commands to that numb limb, so it gets harder to recover.
I love how old fashioned and kinda conservative looking she is yet she then talks about her gf and I love it cause I never would’ve expected it, she’s so classy I just fell in love with her lol
Most folks who dress vintage actually tend to be rather progressive. Rachel Masky has a great video about misconceptions about those who dress in different eras. Highly recommend
Ro D yup. I love the juxtaposition of progressive women in vintage clothing. You can be fabulous and care about human rights.
moral of story: don't lean on your arms during exams and appreciate your arms
Najmah Chant read this while laying on my arm... I moved positions
Same.... Haha
Leaning on your arms during an exam will do absolutely nothing unless you have the same genetic disorder as her.
Felicity it was a joke....
I think it’s due to too much nerve pressure. I partly know how it feels since I have spilt disc and time to time I do get numb in half my leg and only numb in the last 2 toes and half the right leg up to the calf. It really feels like I’m wearing a glove I can some only feel abit yet not, like I’m wearing a glove, skin can’t feel, it’s a werid sensation
Honestly, I wouldn’t have known that she was deaf if she didn’t say so in the video. She pronounces words better than I do
Ahhh....yes, the old “we think it’s all in her head” excuse that certain doctors make. Mine actually found out that I wasn’t making up HAVING EPILEPSY, as I’d smashed my head open, bitten my tongue, and in a panic from waking up to a stranger trying to help me....clocked said kind stranger with a swift right hook. Yes, it was all in my head, and thank goodness my medication works these days. Many kind people have been saved from, apparently, a very sweet right hook! Lol. 😂🎄
Wow that sounds like a horror movie: just feeling a hand on your leg in your bed... Is it a ghost? Oh no it's just the arm I can't feel
It happened to me once. Woke up to the feeling of someone's hand cradling my face. It was a moment of pure horror. Never had a limb go that dead before or since then.
My left foot is a blur in my mind. I move my leg and the blur follows.
Relatable
About a month ago, I managed to fall asleep with my hand above my head on the pillow, and woke up with my arm, which had gone numb, over my mouth and nose. It felt like someone was trying to suffocate me in my sleep 😱
I've never been happier that my arm just took half the belly and the leg with it when it went. At least a little less nightmare fuel! o.o
"Lesbianism: blasts away your other concerns!" Ain't that the truth
My son has disabilities. He is 8. I am truly grateful to you for being open and honest about your life and for being an advocate. Also, you are really, really FUNNY!!! As a parent I am always wondering about the future and what it holds for my boy. You give me such joy and encouragement and for that I thank you.
First time seeing this lady and I liked her so far then I found out she was lesbian and BOY DO I LOVE THIS WOMAN
*Any tips on putting on necklaces when your hands just aren't cooperating?*
They have these wonderful magnetic connectors that you can get that you can attach at the clasps and they are very strong magnets. My mom uses them on some of her necklaces that are just beyond too annoying to get done up. (While yes you do have to get the clasps onto the necklaces once they do come in handy and they come in matching colors and they aren't always huge and obvious connector joints. The clasps are bigger than the normal ones to make it easier, I know it's not a perfect solution but it does make it easier.) I hope I've made some sort of sense describing this.
Definitely- I find the magnetic connectors great!
@@michimelody4036 oh man, I need to find some of those. My hands work okay but I have some nasty clasps that are so hard to get hooked.
o0Avalon0o I've put magnetic clasps on all my favorite necklaces. I have RA. Spring for the good strong ones!
Have you thought about switching to long necklaces? So you can put them over your head without opening/closing? I basically only wear long necklaces :)
Jessica: *explaining parts of her that are "wrong" and people dislike and complain about*
Me: *obsessed with how genuinely gorgeous she looks, with her hair and her makeup and everything, barely noticing her hands*
(You look beautiful every day always, but in this especially) Love you jessica, love to claudia and the pups!💖
Same! I found her by looking up Veronica Lake (and was hooked!) then noticed she does a lot of the things my daughter and I do being that we have neuropathy. We enjoy her tutorials and her positive attitude.
our stunning disabled queen deserves a fucking medal for being flawless and kind always????
Yeah, I really wish I could have that much beauty as a sort of consolation for all the ways my body is broken.
I have RA and Lupus. I really wish I looked this gorgeous as an exchange. I wear glamorous wigs since my hair is thinning. But I have no energy to do the make up.
@@healinggrounds19 im sure youre gorgeous!
I love her voice and the way she dresses, its like she's in the 50s, its nice
She’s a gorgeous, sophisticated, prestigious woman with dainty hands and still makes everything interesting. Damn. I wanna be that one day.
"lesbianism blasts away your other concerns!" LMFAOO
Brilliant video. Really highlights how difficult it can be for people with invisible illnesses.
Lovely look with the layered necklaces and the pops of red with the hair, lips and necklace.
Recent Instagram post was adorable and made me smile.
I've got a rare genetic disorder as well, and you have put the experience of going through the hospital process so eloquently I am just in awe. Thank you my fellow zebra.
i love this proper lesbian cinderella that i’ve found by accident... she’s very cool
I had actually cried because i was carrying a plate with a sweet potato up the steps and my hand was just like nope you don't want to hold that anymore. I felt so horrible because 1. I just shattered a plate that my mom loved. 2. I just ruined the only sweet potato the in the house and it was the only thing I wanted to eat after not eating for a week. 3. My hands/nerves hated me. I'm still haven't been diagnosed and I have no idea why my body likes to just randomly drop things. I don't have the entire arm paralysis but it is scary when your body stops doing what your trying to do or just has a mind of it's own. So Jessica thank you for your videos ma'am.
Edited because grammatical errors drive me crazy.
Have you eaten today? ♡
@@sofie1578 yes, i did get to eat today. Thankfully i didn't drop this bowl. I went out after this happened and bought plastic plates, bowls & cups so if I dropped them I wouldn't ruin my mom's temptations set. I still have to figure out how to order her a replacement plate....
Michi Melody I feel you. Sometimes our bodies just don’t want to cooperate. It’s especially difficult to deal with this when living without a diagnosis, so we don’t even know why or can explain to others why our bodies are failing us. A lot of us are in this boat and understand you.
@@michimelody4036 okay good ❤ stay strong, it'll get better!
I hate that so much. And there's never any warning when it's going to happen (at least, for me). I've broken so many objects (mugs in particular) because my fingers suddenly decided to let go of the thing they were holding. The worst is when I'm in the process of turning around when it happens and I end up hurling whatever I'm carrying across the room... Then there's all the times I've nearly face-planted when my knees did the same thing mid-step. It's not a great feeling when your body betrays you unpredictably and arbitrarily :(
LESBIANISM: Blasts away your other concerns!
**rushes to store to pick up a jar**
😂😂😂
Okay, but the inherent assholery of doctors belittling or discounting genuine symptoms that are reliant on the honesty of their patients needs to stop. I have a friend who was accused of faking her symptoms because she was a young woman and said symptoms suggested schizophrenia, but schizophrenia in young women is incredibly unlikely.
This is exactly why women in particular often need to go to about 20+ doctors until they find one who is willing to actually take them and their very real medical complaints seriously.
We get fobbed off ever so often for being "dramatic". **rolls eyes**
Not a funny topic, but I have to say that I loved your comment "inherent assholery." I am going to need to add that to my "List of Eloquent Ways to Say F-You."
At one point I was in a hospital, getting a procedure done and when my bed had been moved back to my room I suddenly felt severe pain with *every* breath. I called the nurse and she was like "Yeah, there can be some irritation or some coughing, you're fine." And breathing hurt so much I couldn't even speak whole sentences I would just stammer "But... It.. Hurts... So... Much." and this would cause so much pain I was crying. She was just like "calm down now, breathe deeply. Nice and slowly." and I couldn't even explain to her that crying hurt a whole fucking lot too, but taking deep breaths hurt even more and was not in any way calming.
They let me live through this pain a whole night, occasionally coming in, asking why I wasn't lying down, but sitting on the side of the bed, bent over a pillow and every time I tried to explain and ended up in the same situation.
In the morning I had to get up and walk to the breakfast table, even carry my tray with the food. When I finally sat down I couldn't eat, because I was trying so hard to breathe shallowly to avoid pain.
And then the doctor calls me away from my breakfast essentially telling me that the procedure wasn't really done, but if I "experienced" so much pain they would stop it. But no matter how hysterical I got they had to do the other side too.
I just nodded quietly, trying everything to keep the pain at a minimum.
Never seen her before, but her personality and charisma are off the chart. Love her.
Just carry a fancy pair of chopsticks in a holder in your bag when you go to weddings.
I have one of these! They’re metal and machine washable (though I usually wash them by hand). The chopsticks actually twist apart to be smaller so the case fits in a clutch. My hands don’t always work great either, and they’ve been a godsend!
or get some inexpensive but cute chopsticks you can take out and about with you and not feel terrible about losing. I've got a bamboo travel cutlery set, and I find that chopsticks are by far the best utensils for eating salad.
I was going to comment the same thing, except suggest that she carry a(n inexpensive) pair on her all the time (or close to it), in case she finds herself at a restaurant that uses silverware!
That was my thought - I have a set I keep in my bag all the time cause sometimes I want to eat somewhere that there isn't cutlery. Mine are plastic kids hello kitty ones I bought about 15 years back. I lose EVERYTHING ALWAYS but have somehow managed to keep track of those.
I was thinking the same thing. My BFF keeps a set in her purse just because they’re useful.
I will concentrate on the content of the video in a minute, when I overcome my extremely not heterosexual feelings about this outfit.
...and this thumbnail too.
Fat mood
🤣🤣🤣
"Why on earth would I inconvenience myself just to make others feel less awkward."
This.
I cut, in my teens - and I refused to wear tight-cloth, long sleeved shirts year-round for others. I didn't recieve psychiatric care, this was my coping method - and I wasn't going to wear long sleeves in July or risk irritating the cuts in sleeves so tight they couldn't move and reveal a tiny part of arm if I raised it.
Of course this didn't get me silly comments about being brave, but silly comments about trying to get attention. Yes, because my introvert self who us desperately trying to get out of this conversation *really likes attention* .
I was same had phantom of opera mask and butterfly across face of eczema and huge round welts. Think they missed lupus or some immune/nervous system condition, still undiagnosed
i do something similar!! i don’t cut anymore (thank god), but i habitually push my sleeves up because having them down used to irritate the cuts. it means that i never really hide my scars (which aren’t *super* obvious anymore but they used to be). I’ve never really gotten comments on it but i get loads of weird looks and honestly???? screw them ????? why on earth should i not get to roll up my sleeves like the bisexual that i am??
I'm working on accepting my body following recovering from an ed and that means dressing how I like, fashion norms be damned and I love it. If I look like a goth witch or a lumberjack grandma so be it
Everything about this story is so messed up and I felt awful for you and then I was so freaked out about the cost of all those tests and nights in the hospital and all that equipment until you said NHS and I realized for the 9 millionth time that America is the actual worst for making people have to worry about losing their homes when their arms go floppy. Not to suggest you weren’t in hell already, because holy God, just...my country is dumb. Glad you’re doing at least a little better these days.
Or how expensive stays in hospitals can be. People with mental disorders have to pay so much and if their insurance denies it, they have to go home and deal with their issues all alone and get seriously injured or killed.
This country is a joke. I wish it was easier to move to a different developed country
@@frostyskeletons8950 yeah. Let's all move to Canada. Or Europe. Or Antartica. Anywhere, actually
@@kitkatty52211 not just mental disorders. The insurance company got to decide if my dad and mother in law got to stay in the hospital with their copd, not the doctors.
Her: much love to those who eat with their hands
Philippines: love you too
😂
Indonesia: *blows kiss and smiles* much respect to you too, Jessica💜
Sudan: ❤❤❤❤❤❤
she’s the number one reason why i like girls
bangtan love bot why I love* girls 😂😂😂
ilaria0615 same she’s so gorgeous and dainty but also Sassy AF
“Lesbianism! Blasts away your other concerns!” 😂🌈💖❣️
“When I try to make the mess better I inevitably make it worse and that’s my special talent”
MOOD.
I'm getting very strong John maclean vibes and I love it
same
Me too! They would be wonderful friends I think
You read my fucking mind man
Yes
As much as this was a very educational and at the same time entertaining video that I'm very glad she made, I hate that Jessica felt she had to partially do it because of the prodding comments from others. No one should ever have to explain why they need to use certain things that others may not need to. No one should ever have to prove that they're disabled. If they say they are, they are. Do not question people on things like this.
i agree. i think there's also a difference between being curious to educate yourself, and being "oh well why do you use a straw you dont look disabled".
the worst thing you can do to a sick person is make them prove how sick they are
While I get why people feel it's rude to question, I also understand why people question. When I was a kid, I'd never have dreamed someone would pretend to be ill or disabled for any reason. Then, when I was 16, I met a guy who pretended to have cancer. A few years later, I worked with another guy who pretended his "fiancee and unborn child died in a car wreck" just so he could have four days off in a row.
You have experiences like that, yeah, you absolutely begin questioning everyone who claims to have a disability.
@@kateworkman921 one of the cruelest things you can do to a disabled person is make them prove how disabled they are
@@annaswanson5903
I'm not disagreeing with you on that. But also, one of the cruelest things a person can do is fake an illness/disability/tragedy to make others cynical about invisible illnesses.
She’s so elegant and proper, makes me want to drink tea with the queen.
6:42 OMFG 😂
I love your grace, weird humor, and dainty but deadly snark. Keep being awesome!
"There is some glamor in being a T-Rex"
Next merch phrase?
"Given I had two paralyzed arms, but I was generally okay!" 😅😅
This popped in my reccomendation and I don't even know this lady. But I am so into her speech that I didn't even scroll the comment section. And that is peculiar for me. I'm gonna subscribe to her now. She'll be my english teacher.
Who is this unbelievably hilarious, drop-dead gorgeous person and why haven’t I come across her videos sooner?!
Jessica this brilliant British disabled lesbian who dresses in vintage fashions. Shes great. Welcome!
Right?! I have no idea how I ended up here (thanks unexplainable TH-cam algorithm) but I am so glad I did.
'lesbianism blasts away your other concers' ICONIC!!
also really great video! love u
You're videos have an extremely calming affect on me. You just have the loveliest voice!
Christopher Metcalf *effect
@@jklroxmysox111Thanks, I always get those two confused.
@@Skibbityboo0580 Just remember A for "action"--as in, "I affected her" or "This affected me". Effect is always a noun and is the result. So... "She affected me. It was a scary effect"
@@jklroxmysox111 Her calm affect has effected a change in my own mood.
Your storytelling skills are fabulous. Also, I'm now very aware of how heavy my arms are.
Did this perfectly spoken and unbelievably eloquent woman just say she was DEAF?!
She's MOSTLY deaf. In other videos, she tries to explain what she can and can't hear. She can hear JUST enough to be able to hear herself (and other people) so she can speak properly....but it's still super hard.
I think she described as something like having her head in a glass jar..which has been stuffed with cotton wool...while wearing ear plugs, lol!
Sounds like a bitch of a thing, but she overcomes it with grace and style....much like everything else in her life.
I love her!
She started to lose her hearing at fifteen years old. When she was eighteen she lost pretty much all of her hearing (she can hear enough to hear herself and others, but only barely) and thats why she can speak so clearly! Hope this helped!
@@venustheflytrap._ @TheMurlocKeeper thanks guys, I was being somewhat hpyerbolic, haha. This was 11 months ago, though, I'm familiar with her content and her story now.
Just incase someone else might feel the need to comment it for a 3rd time 😂
That red necklace is beautiful 😍😍😍
It suits her so beautifully
It really brings out her hair it's gorgeous
"Why on Earth would I inconvenience myself for the comfort of others" IDK WHO YOU ARE OR WHY THIS VIDEO WAS RECOMMENDED TO ME BUT PREACH!
Some of those things you listed in the beginning are hard enough for people WITHOUT mobility issues, I can’t imagine how much more difficult it is for people who do
"Arms are HEAVY"
That's actually prob why shoulders are most likely to dislocate with eds huh.. *am learnin*
Every joint has to have a balance between flexibility and stability - shoulders have a massive range of movement so can dislocate very easily but things like elbows are less common because they only move in one way! This from a medical student whose flatmate has eds
It’s more the fact that it’s a ball and socket joint, like your hips. These joints offer more rotation, but at the cost of decreased stability.
@@bethg7026 More rotation than what? No other type of joint (except the weird one between C1 and C2) rotates.
She sounds like a story teller, *its amazing*
"Why on earth would I inconvenience myself just to make others feel less awkward?" Honestly, M O O D
"In the most pacifist way possible- I just wanted to throttle them with my floppy arms"
I'm slowly losing control of my hands (never had great control though, clumsy hypermobile child here too) but it really got highlighted on Sunday. Went to a carvery with family and used only one stick as I was determined to carry my own plate to the table. Trouble was some old bloke spotted me, did the usual you're too young to be disabled/using stick thing and then blocked my path ignoring all my polite but increasingly pained 'excuse me!'s until his wife forced him to move. At which point my hand was saying bye bye to the plate, I'd burnt my fingers and dislocated my wrist. Or rather he had done those things to me. Because I'm 'too young' to need a stick or have hand issues. Yay.
(sorry for ranting, I just wanted to share in an understanding space. I'm still angry at him though mostly I'm scared by how little my hands can do these days too.)
That a-hole! I would have screamed in his face!
He got up out of his way to make your day difficult? I never understand what drives folk to do that! Sending you good vibes from a stranger on the Internet:)
That guy is a jerk!
I'm sorry you had this experience...it must have been very tempting to tap him in the shins with your stick! I had the opposite experience...when needing a stick in my early twenties I noticed that everyone (everyone!) I walked past made eye contact & smiled at me. It was actually nice. Classmates & strangers would ask "why the stick?" & I took great delight in making up ludicrous reasons on the spot..like old war/football injury, a house fell on me etc. At the time I didn't know whether it was permanent or would get better or worse, & it got me through it with a smile. Thankfully I only needed the stick for 8 months, maybe I would have lost humour with it, if it had gone on for longer.
@@Meerkat628 I totally agree it's always adults, kids might be curious if the aren't familiar with disability but they accept and support. My cousin's two year old passes me my sticks before I stand up and clears a path for me, way better than the adults who when I need a wheelchair accuse me of faking because they saw my leg move or whatever!!
I love how you turn a worrisome story into something that I can laugh through! Your warped and twisted sense of humor is wonderfully refreshing!
I’m in love with her style and honestly I hope if she doesn’t already have a video, that she does one for her “look” bc honestly I would love to dress like this but don’t know where to start
Another wonderful video by the most amazing gay, deaf beautiful icon💗💗
the way she talks is so similar to Jameela Jamil i love it
When she said computer I was dragged back to the 21st century
"I should have been-"
what I thought you were going to say: worried, concerned, going to the doctor
what you did say: "revising"
ah the world of academia and chronic illnesses
Losing feeling in an arm is so scary. I trapped a nerve near my collar bone and it cut off the circulation in the whole arm. It went blue/grey and weighed a tonne. It felt like the whole arm was stretching. It's taken years for me to be able to hold it above my head without losing control. (I was told should do boxing as physio, which I ignored because I couldn't give high fives let alone punch a bag.)
Me: I don't even know who she is
Also me: *gurl spill some sophisticated TEA*
I absolutely adore the way she talks. Her rhythm, the words she uses and the pronunciation. Beautiful!
YOU ARE AMAZING. I LOVE THAT YOUR SO POSITIVE ABOUT EVERYTHING
My fiancee has nerve damage in his arms and works a chemistry job, which requires a LOT of writing, and loves video games. Some days he'll sit with a controller and just, not be able to press the buttons, and it's such a heartbreaking thing when your own body won't listen to you. It's its ONE JOB.
sending hugs and strength from afar, that sounds tough
I have the same problem, it's so depressing when video games make me happy but I can't play because my fingers won't work
Hilarious in the way of temporary medical emergencies...I LOL'd, mostly at myself. I have assured my friends SO MANY times, 'No, Im not fine, but its fine, this is normal.'
Recently called my doctor's office and had to go through an hour and a half conversation with the nurse as to why it seems like I need to go into ER, but really it's normal and I'm fine
@@naseerahvj Yup! Had that kind of conversation too!
I don't know who you are, or how you popped up in my recommendations, but I find you utterly charming and I now need to go watch all you videos. And as for ligament cramping, I tore all the ligaments in my left foot, and when they healed (as much as those pesky things could heal anyway) and I had to rehab them, they would cramp so badly some times that I couldn't even scream or cry.
You popped up on my recommended feed and I don't know why but I'm glad you did!
Shes honestly someone I would look up to, she always looks classy and has such a lovely personality, ontop of that she's deaf but speaks better than half of. Society today!
I could listen to you talk for hours... you are enchanting.