“You Have No Clue What’s Really Going On”
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Ladies.... no anyone.... should never leave finances to one person. Money management is a two person job.
I'm single and I manage my money just fine myself.
My wife does all of our finances herself. We are just fine as well.
As Reagan said: "Trust, but verify".
Different couples have different systems, in some one person works and the other manages the money. Some might have the same person making the money managing it, sometimes both make it and manage it. Both might make it with one person managing it, some people don't care to actively manage it and track numbers. Each person has their strengths, what matters is having trust, integrity, and transparency in financial matters and everyone having "access" to their shared money as they need it.
@@fortunateson2LOL you didn’t just say that. You’re SINGLE. Nobody else is in the money on either side. … embarrassing
blows my mind how so many people have crazy amounts of debt. so sad
Like the USA
USA is built on debt
So much debt and so little income...less income than a lot of retirees. It ain't worth being self-employed if you're making peanuts.
they getting points on their credit card. don't you know anything.... they can take a free airplane ride
@@jetthelooter sarcasm????? lol
$26k for an electrician? That seems way low, especially for one's own business.
Read between the lines. He grosses $200K+, but claims only $26K as income. He probably has everything in his company's name. They're not as poor as she's saying.
Yeah 26k is only the irs taxable, more likely income is in the 150-200k range
@@BatCorkillNo. His NET income is 26K. That's what he's actually taking away after paying his expenses.
@@JKAnu-yq1tr I worked as a contractor for almost a decade making around 80k and my net on taxes showed about 15k. But I lived like I made 100k because I paid so little taxes on 80k from all the write offs allowed. Pretty sure he's in the same boat.
She said 233k a year
$40,000 combined incomes from two insolvent businesses. $700k home value ( $500k home equity). $209k credit cards debt. Fortunately, you have home equity because you cannot pay down the credit card balances using your incomes. Either together or apart you must sell the house. Pay off the cards. That leaves you $291k to either combine together towards a fresh start or $145k each after a divorce.
That's what I thought. Sell the house, downsize, and pay everything off.
yep agree 100%. this is the only realistic path forward for people in their 50s. if they EVER want to retire, they need to sell the house, pay off the debt, close down the businesses and go get jobs. i can make more than $36k working as a bagger at a grocery store. they make that combined.
@@roadrunner9622 she's not going to do that, the autistic kid, she already did the whole "its the only house he's ever known schpeel"
This is pretty much what I recently did. Nearly 200k in credit card debt, I could pay everything, but it was just the status quo and making no progress on it. Sold my small, dilapidated home, which was fully paid off. Paid off the credit cards with that, and bought a modest new home (financed). Much better life now.
@@titolovely8237If you can make $36k as a bagger, it's because you are a young person working in a post Covid environment. Prior to Covid, such pay for that job was a fantasy. Don't get too accustomed to it. Wall Street has a history of cranking out recessions to wreck your train.
Making under 10k a year is legitimately insane. You could drive Uber less than part time and make more than that…
Right lol, like what motivation could you have for getting out of bed everyday to make nothing
Need to call a lawyer not the Ramsey show
And pay with what
She needs a marital counselor
This is probably just the tip of the iceberg.
This reminds me of a welder I know who could easily make $100k+ (I work in an industry hiring welders and know that they are in high demand in our community and get hired immediately out of trade school/apprenticeship) but he makes terrible money and is in crippling debt since he spends half his money on alcohol and the other half on the consequences of alcohol (DUI and domestic abuse). Some people really know how to ruin their own lives.
One of the best things in life a person can do is never start drinking. One of the second best things is stopping.
I’ve seen health destroyed and careers destroyed. It’s crap. Haven’t touched it in years. I was never an alcoholic, but I made the conscious decision that it was a negative impact on my life and I removed it.
Domestic abuse is not from alcohol so the man needs actual help and therapy despite any alcohol
Some people just love sabotaging their own lives ...get far away from them
@@patty109109 if alcohol had a negative impact on your life, you're an alcoholic
@@DevHazy alcohol alone doesn't cause someone to become a domestic abuser, but it's well established that alcohol can cause some people to become violent and snap if they are predisposed to it. And I wholeheartedly agree that he needs mental health care and should be given a second chance if he turns his life around, but the issue is 1) Society shames men who seek out help, and 2) Some men are too egotistical to seek help and contribute to that problem
"he's a collector"
definitely a hoarder.
Definitely a hoarder and most likely he overpays for everything. He'll probably never sell a thing because whatever price he's offered won't be enough. Been there and its a nightmare.
As soon as she said he's a "collector," I thought, "No, he's a hoarder," and pictured one of those hoarded out houses from the show "Hoarders."
Sounds like Sanford & Son!😅
She must be looking at the tax return after business deductions to say they made 26k. She said they grossed over 200k early in the call.
that is what she said
Exactly...@ 3:21 she said $233,000🤔
Unbelievable that he has control of 99% of the finances. Scary if something happens to him and she has trouble getting to the accounts.
Good God how do you put 200k on a damn card 😂
A few dollars at the time.
Living in a dream world
I always ask myself the same thing smh....when I see $1000 on my cc my eyes start twitching😂😂😂
Not on one damn card, but on many damn cards.
He should be making $100,000.
He is just not declaring all income. No way they have a 700k home and they are both delusional with her only making 10k even with a special needs child.🤔
This guy has to be on other drugs or has another family across town!
That 26k is a bookkeeping thing. It’s after all the deductions, etc. He probably has at least double, but even that is SUPER low for an electrical professional
45 days to get passwords and transparency? Hell no. I would give him 45 minutes at best.
40 years of marriage. Raised three sons. Basically a stay at home/work from home wife/mother. Husband is primary wage earner. He's great at his job, makes good money, but, since the start of our marriage I've handled the money. The bills, the budget, the investments. He hates that stuff. And it gives me, as one of two partners, a power base. May sound strange, but it's worked for us. FYI, this sounds quite simplistic. Marriage is difficult, managing your finances is even harder. Hang in there, it gets better if you BOTH want it to.
"That's just my opinion, I could be wrong." ~~~ Dennis Miller
However, I bet you are not denying your husband access to the portfolio. He knows the codes, if, not you are happy to provide, even if he checks it once every 6 months the information is not being hidden from him. It's fair to say that if you develop a gambling addiction started using your household money to support that addiction your husband would notice?
So she married him in her 30s and tolerated him not telling her what's going on with the finances? She said married 19 years in their 50s. She was old enough to know to ask a lot of questions when they got married.
Perhaps early on he demonstrated that he was competent.
No spouse should allow themselves to be this comfortable on a relationship. Always be aware of what is going on, you might no the ins and outs but have enough information to comprehend the stage of your finances.
She said he’s going through a mental decline. He could have been completely trust worthy before they became parents. She is clearly in an abusive situation, she might not have realized until recently as it’s escalated. Go easy on her.
How can you even get enough credit to owe $200K in credit cards with only a $36K/year income?
I think this lady needs to go find herself a divorce attorney.
I wish I could have heard Dave handle this call. This advice was not helpful. Giving an ultimatum to someone that controlling is only going to escalate the problem. There’s more going on here.
This situation is beyond even Dave. She doesn't have all the information and even if she did this is way too much. She needs to consult a lawyer.
I don't think this lady is going to file for divorce. Thanks!
Hpw much ypu wanna bet theyre in tax trouble, too?
Guarantee they are. I looked up in my local property records and found people in my extended family and friends who had IRS liens against their assets. You would have never guessed they’re the type to get behind on taxes but they did. 100% this guy is behind on taxes, especially since he’s self employed.
@@DewTimeThe number of friends, family, or just community members who are living a sham, propped up by debt and smoke & mirrors, is scary.
The way they spend money they may not be . Most likely tax fraud no way they can afford 700k home any make the payments on home and minimum payments on car and credit card debt.
@@DewTimewhat an odd thing to do
@@OopThereItIs77777 I do what I please, regardless of how odd someone finds it.
Just before she mentioned alcohol I was thinking to myself "a guy working for himself in the trades but not making any money, I bet he's an alcoholic"
Oh come on 3 bottles of cheep burbon is like 60$ a week drinking 5 liters of whiskey a week is nothing like being a drug addict
Alcohol isn’t that expensive, no. But if he’s drinking too much, being too lazy, being hungover, yeah none of that adds up to a successful business person. lol
She said the income was after depreciation. Perhaps he has assets in lieu of income. I want to pay only what I have to in taxes.
@@jasonleatherwood2172 It's not the amount of money spent on alcohol, it's the time spent not working, losing jobs because you don't show up or can't do the work because you're hungover. if a person is drinking a lot, they won't be successful in their trade and the business suffers.
@@jasonleatherwood2172 5 liters of whiskey per week? I don't even know how someone could function drinking that, high tolerance I guess.
What’s he threatening her with? That’s what I want to know. Rachel and Jade never asked
It’s a bit dark, but I’m pretty sure her best option is that life insurance policy 😬
I live 40 miles north of Pittsburgh and I have needed a electrician several times and there always $50 a hour self employed. I had one time the electrician had a helper and then it was a $75 a hour.
His business is making over 200K a year she said, BUT he has so much stuff in debt that most of it is going to pay banks for loans. His overhead is enormous amounts of debt!
That is dirt cheap for an electrician, they should be charging a lot more than that.
Depreciation is not a cash outflow.
Guy prioritizing his collection over his own child's well being who is counting on him! Smh
26000 electrical contractor doesn’t add up
Ok her “business from home” is a hobby that brings in about $9/hr, if she’s bringing in $10,000/year and only working the hours her son is in school (assuming 185 days of school, 6 hours each day). She needs to get a part time job elsewhere that brings in $20+/hr not $9/hr that keeps her stuck at the house where all the equipment is.
And who is watching her kid? She’d lose money paying someone to do it.
Her husband sounds controlling and dangerous. I worry about this woman and her son.
They have $400,000+ equity in their house. SELL IT! Pay your debts and split the rest. Go your separate ways. Your son will adjust to a new home.
This is what she has to do for her son if anything. He will have to get over moving. In the long run this is the right move. Her husband won't work with her so the marriage is over when that happens. He won't even talk about it.
This is why we go over the budget together every week. We do it weekly because we get a paycheck every week. When we are done with B2, we will reevaluate our budget.
As Dave would say, "you're spending like you're in congress!!!😮😮
People run up credit cards for a wide variety of reasons, and then u quickly owe a crazy amount
Alcohol is a depressant. In school, they taught us that so we wouldn't use if were already depressed
Lol that’s not what that means it’s a depression of the Central nervous system lol
How easy and useless to say that if you aren't in the problem
@@paolaristori6179 yup, all well and good to say that without understanding addiction and mental health lol
$36k income with $209k in credit cards, and they have the nerve to call their son special needs?
Right!
Lmao
I guess the apple didn't fall too far from the tree ...
Enormous collections of “things” = hoarding
I like how she said that he has a life insurance policy and then immediately said he's "not mentally well". I dunno, just alarm bells there, but lady, you don't get a payout if he offs himself.
These folks need to go get real jobs quickly and give up on their low paying businesses, and/or sell the house to. pay off their debt!
How is $200k+ a "low-paying business"? The caller said her husband makes that much, but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26K. Big difference.
@@Frank-wz4kuTax evasion
This guy should make 200k a year.. she, on the other hand, needs a real job, not a 10k hobby. She made a bad choice marrying this guy, that part is clear. Personally, I'd leave and start over.
She does have a 'real job.' Did you miss the part where she's the primary caregiver for their special-needs son? That $10k is a side hustle that she makes working from home. You also missed the part where she said he makes $233k a year, but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k.
@@Frank-wz4kuthat sounds like tax evasion
@@BlueDauntless Not my problem. Report it to the IRS if you think it's tax evasion. He's a business owner, so if he's claiming depreciation, it may well not be tax evasion. Honestly, I think he's doing something shady, but again, it's not my problem.
40k combined income and a total credit card debt of 209k of which 40k is through the business credit card debt. Leaves 160k in personal credit vard debt left. How the hell can you get into 160k unsecured credit with an income of just 40k? Completely mad house. How can credit card companies allow this to pile up? There is no way they can pay this debt off without selling the house. Stupidity at the highest level🤦🏻♂️ As an outsider, I was always wondering why the average American has a couple of credit cards in their wallet? Some people are living in a dream. 🤦🏻♂️
The caller said her husband makes over $200k, but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k. Big difference.
Delony would tell her she's not safe and should get out NOW.
And is she tired?
Or breathe
26k is what is he "claiming" to the IRS she said he grossed mid 200s no way he is only netting roughly 10%. Id imagine he is hiding some cash inflow as well since he is an independent contractor basically. Is he in a tight spot? for sure, you cant be in 200k of credit card debt and be good. But 36k is definitely not what they are actually living on. IMO. Lady called in and definitely doesn't have the whole picture of their finances that is step one. No way they would get 200k in credit card loans with a house worth 700 on 34k earnings. I believe she is a little ignorant to their finances and always has been now Shes getting nosey (as she should be) and the guy is getting frustrated.
That’s only going to fly with the IRS for so long. They’ll audit him eventually. And then they’re really screwed.
Yeahhhh.....combining the finances and not sharing them....feels like a big nono
they lack the courage to tell you: Divorce and bankruptcy is the reality of your current life. these 2 should never be on together. 2 scared mice.
They need Dave on this call!
@@Songbird36able I suspect the 209,000 in credit card debt is only the tip of the iceberg. At this point, she needs an attorney to chase his social security number. God help her if he has been dodging taxes.
Why would she not be involved for that long?
She mentioned a collection of stamps and other stuff.
Sell it. I collect coins, but have no problem selling pieces when they no longer please me or I can allocate the money better elsewhere. Stamps are a dead end investment anyway. Interest is plummeting in everything but the rarest pieces. I see whole estate collections selling for $100 because no one under 50 wants the stuff any more.
She said he's a big collector. I heard he's a big 'hoarder.'
I’m sorry Ann. What a terrible situation. 😕🙁
Ohhh mercy!!! She needs to get the heck out of this. What a disaster.
I love Rachel's tragedy face xD
She gave crappy advice on this call though
She said after the depreciation and everything. The books net revenue that is then taxable is very different from the cash balance and cash outlay.
Still a bad situation but no way are they living off of 26K
The fact that he's hiding all of this stuff from her, I agree that he's being financially abusive....not just towards her, but also towards their son. Money only goes so far before it runs out, and that could dramatically affect their son, providing even less stability that their son needs.
This woman needs an attorney!
Jade is the level headed best friend we all wish for.
Go for 500k , enjoy!
There's no way they can have a house and a kid and dogs in vehicles and 209,000 in credit card debt and make 36 Grand a year.
Just the credit card minimum payment would be like $3000 a month.
They just need to do some bankruptcy.
The dude's probably drinking because he knows he's under water and his wife is leaving.
Why is no one paying attention? The caller said her husband makes over $200k but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k. Big difference.
Ken: are you safe??
There is no shortage of Captain-save-a-ho'ism on this channel.
I thought that was John
I didnt even know people could put that much on a credit card. How did they get that limit with such low incomes?
His business
How the hell do you rack up $200k in credit cards ??
Disgraceful
It’s called being stupid
Terrifying!!
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I wish John was on this call because I almost feel like she's being abused. I don't think she's as stupid as she's trying to come off as.
Just imagine how much tax he owes 😮
< $40,000 from two adult incomes. They'd be better off getting fast food jobs.
Under 10k a year is a hobby, that’s not enough to keep her from moving.
Her autistic son is the main reason, though guessing she's afraid to be alone. She needs therapy.
@@catherinep2034 She's afraid to be alone because she think she needs him financially
@@Arewawife Likely, though depending on degree of his Autism, he might not handle the move well at all. Further stress for her to deal with.
I agree she can get a part time job and easily make more than 10k a year. When her son in school
Unless, there was infidelity or abuse, there is no grounds for divorced. Metal illness and stupid financial decisions is not grounds for divorce. She needs help get the pastor involved, he shouldn’t be hiding anything for his spouse. Get your pastor involved immediately and other trusted friends (especially those who he respects).
40k a year for a household of 3???
No. The caller said her husband makes over $200k but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k. Big difference.
When Dave isn't in the chair, I like the other hosts, but sometimes they just lame-ass their way through a call without being helpful. She needs to contact each of the three credit bureaus and pull her credit reports to find out exactly what accounts have her name on them. Then contact the IRS and pick the "Innocent Spouse" option in the phone menu. She says he has life insurance, but is she positive that 1) she's the beneficiary and 2) that policy is still in effect? If he's only making the minimums on everything, he may have let that policy lapse. There's no way I would be married to a guy that was so controlling of the money that not only did I not have a bank log in, but my name wasn't even on the account.
You think she gonna get out of this debt free your crazy
@@mjj8560 Just exactly where did I say that? Nowhere, so your reading comprehension needs a little work.. She probably won't get out free and clear, but let her concentrate on just exactly what is *her* responsibility, and right now, she has no clue. Since her husband won't talk to her, she needs to find out how deep he's put her in the hole.
All good advice but you’re a step ahead. She isn’t in the right place for that yet and that was discussed on the call. Her first step is whether it’s ‘me or us’ that are going to take action.
As dave goes, so does the show. When he’s not there it stinks
@@Judep4237 I don't think it's a step ahead at all. She can check her credit reports right now without him knowing it. That'll give her a picture of what kind of shape she's in. How can she possibly deal with "me or us" when she has no idea where she is in the equation?
The greatest duo Ramsey has to offer if Dave is off for the day!
Hubby has Asperger's - He's autistic too with OCD and controlling behavior. She can open up her own bank account. Why is she being so dependent and acting the victim?
I don't understand how he's only making $26K as an electrician in Pittsburgh. (Even electrician apprentices make more than that.) The demand for electricians is high and most self-employed electricians can set their own rates.
He grosses $230k. But he’s only reporting $26k as income.
It sounds like tax evasion. Some of those business deductions are legit. I guarantee others are not. And he mixes his business and personal accounts, so it’s all a mess.
Ummm… didn’t she say say the house is worth $700k?? Sell the house and they’re out of the mess completely!
Get a lawyer / then he will have to disclose what’s happening financially…then sell the house and his crap and take what’s left and get the hell out of that mess…wake up!
45 days is ridiculous. I'd give him 24 hours. I'd contact an attorney and protect yourself and your child.
What does " he blows up" mean?
Why would anyone agree to not be on bank accounts and any other legal issue?
Homeless people begging at street corners make more than these “self employed” people.
You say that like it’s a bad thing…she’s a SAHM raising a special needs kid, and she has a side hustle bringing an extra $10K to the family. That’s a great setup (minus the alcoholic husband)
No, I think he is loading his taxes with expenses to show very little income to the IRS. Will he make it through an audit? Probably not. Everything is a write off until you get caught.
Those people are self employed
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@barnabusdoyle4930 Some people whose books I looked at in consideration of making an offer to buy were writing off all kinds of crazy things with their business including quite a few home expenses not remotely related to business. I’m a business owner so I’m not naive I was just cringing the whole time they talked. The business was garbage so I politely declined and also told them if they ever got audited they’d be fuq’d.
Rule one of having your own business is too keep everything separate from personal accounts. From what I've seen business owners who combined personal and business accounts waste a lot of money.
It’s also a nightmare for the person doing their taxes. And it will be worse when he’s audited.
Sell house and car if car has lot of value
Yeah there are PLENTY of alternative options than owning two companies for a combines 35k annually especially with that much debt and a child
Why is no one paying attention? The caller said her husband makes over $200k but after business deductions, he pays taxes on $26k, probably with a little creative accounting. Big difference.
200K credit card debt?????!!!!!.....what are they buying?
Booze
She said he has a collection. So I would guess junk and beer.
She said they’re living off of them. You can rack it real quick that way.
House payment month to month.
No plan
She is playing victim card.....I think she is culpable in this..
She can get a real paying job and contribut?
209k in CC debt and business income is 30k after everything, 29% apr on CC debt means that 30k gain could be 90k if there was no interest expense.
Takes a special, or desperate person to finance a business at 30%. All profit is gone at that rate.
Sell the houses and items. Buy a cheaper house with cash. Pay off cc remaining cash work on make a budget . Must increase your income
holey smokes !
Listening to her problems I'm so happy I'm single with $0 debt, 😊
not a husband who doesn't want to listen to you & alcoholic, an austistic kid, over $200 in credit debt😮😢
First off, her big mistake was not having her name on the bank accounts after 20 years together🤔
Why for 19 years?
Who is using the credit cards? What in the world are you buying?
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How
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She's a licensed broker here in the states
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I’m going to be honest here it sounds like she lying and just tired of living month by month so she looking for them to validate her divorce
With a child in the home, how could she let this go on for so long? I'm not blaming her for the huge hole they're in (that's on the husband and the way he has organized their finances), but she should have sought counselling the day he proposed he gets to have everything in his name only, she has no computer access to records, and he gets pissed off about her asking questions. If they have over $400K in equity in their house and some saleable collectibles, they can downsize to smaller living quarters and pay off the credit card debt. The guy is too unstable to have his own "business." He needs to work as a salaried employee somewhere and bring in more income. Paying minimums on over $200K of credit card debt is a recipe for disaster.
Yeah she should have never cashed a single check of hers into an account that doesnt have her name on it
I really think she needs to up his life insurance, practice the 911 call until she has it down cold and then go on a boat trip
He's not living on 26k... He's taking home way more than that... He's getting very creative with his taxes... Probably to the highly illegal level. Might even have a gambling problem or some sort of other secret.
Not going to end well, had a similar situation. As the alcoholic gets older the drinking gets worse. Multiple ER visits, then death. Then try to uncover the financial mess that was left behind.
Damn the black girl is ... kinda out of my league right now. That's why I need to follow this channel carefully. Not that money can buy love, but you know... it kinda helps.
You can never trust an addict
Amen
Gus Fring. Breaking bad.
@@Ryan_DeWitt boom, a man of fine taste in shows I see!
Anyone netting 26K through a business spending money on "collections" definitely isn't mentally well, he needs to focus on upping his income and securing his family's future so his wife can feel safe. If he wants to keep operating like this he needs to be by himself and get his head straight.
What has she been doing for the last 19 years?
Taking care of their special-needs child and running a side hustle.
Let’s hear his side of the story 😮
Right.. She's probably a spender
Bingo