As a career firefighter, I think you are absolutely correct. That's not how firefighters live their life. Thank you for holding our profession in that esteem!
@@joyparker3116 Also - go ahead and overpay them! Them and other emergency service workers and all teachers! Theres a ton of us out here NOT crying about giving them some extra money for what they do for our society and communities! They earn it AND MORE!
John is spot on saying firefighters don’t live like that. They have a work ethic unlike anything I’ve ever seen. They are constantly working or trying to find a way to help. Every single one I know. My best friend is a firewoman, my BIL is a firefighter , and my uncle is a retired fire chief. They are freaking go getters. She is being played
100% I worked for a guy who was a full time firefighter, who also worked full time running a large landscaping company and had a side business as well, he worked insane hours
Guys as someone who is a sergeant in the military, not everyone starts off like the end product you see in firefighters! People grow, those communities change people and develop character, they don’t start off perfect. John and and Dave did not listen enough in this call to see what was going on. This call showed what’s wrong with society, men are only valued for their work and provision , no one asked why he has not worked, how old he is, etc. if a woman made this call and was in his situation the comments would be filled with compassion about how hard it is to be a single mom etc. I’m not saying the guy isn’t lazy, etc. but I think everyone’s jumping the gun with judgement here.
@@Camronrichard1he has a one year old. Any parent, man or woman not providing for their child is a deadbeat. My personal trainer is a firefighter. He works 6 days per week and his days start at 5 am. He blocks two nights per week to help with the kids b/c his wife works. Sunday is his family day. Oh and he was studying sports massage therapy. When you have a kid - you work. She was even babysitting for this man and she was the only one working!!!
@@Camronrichard1 I agree they did not listen very well in this call. They talked over her and didn't ask enough questions to get the full picture. That is a hallmark of this show though. They don't usually ask enough questions or LISTEN well enough to really make a good judgement. But it did sound like he wasn't trying very hard from the little we heard. She seemed to realize he wasn't a great guy.
This is how the legacy of poverty and single or absent parenting continues. We can see the cycle repeating itself: Loser deadbeat preys upon someone who had no solid parents to guide them, they barely scrape by financially, have more kids, break up because they were toxically co-dependent upon one another, one parent disappears forever, repeat, repeat, repeat… it’s so heartbreaking. You have to decide to break your legacy at some point. I wish her the best.
You're right, and I agree with everything you said, but I don't feel sorry for her. She knows he's is lying to her, not working, and will not, but she's consciously choosing to stay and will not leave.
Actually, she can be from a household where her mother worked and her father was sitting at home doing nothing. Children from single households aren't afraid to be single when the man is useless.
Take it from an older woman who has been through a little life. If a man cannot help you grow, you don’t need him. You’re sleeping on people’s couches, and he doesn’t care. He should be working multiple jobs, just so you don’t have to do that. You’re too young for the life you’re living. Believe me!
Excellent point. She has a lifetime ahead of her that could be wonderful if she made a few choices now such a ridding herself of this lazy guy. Why strap yourself to a guy that won’t work? She’ll be taking care of him and paying the bills for her entire life if she doesn’t kick him to the curb now.
So you're "strong and independent" and "need a man like a fish needs a bicycle", and "totally equal to men" in every way, but for some reason your relationships shall always benefit you in some way?! The man shall always out-earn you etc. Explain that logic, and explain why we men with the looks, bodies, money and high paying occupations, should accept you in our lives?! With your reasoning we should only get benefits from a relationship?! So, I, who get women approaching me without knowing anything about my economy, and still want relationships with me, why would I ever give anyone of you a chance?! Your logic is totally off. It's easier building and keeping my wealth without you, it's easier to perform excellent in the business, it's easier keeping extremely fit, and it's extremely less stressful and more relaxing without a woman! Women today are just annoying, entitled and not worth the time/effort or risks!
@@deportedsouls3165 You don't even know the OP to project such assumptions on her. There's nothing in her comment that would lead you to the idea she's a hardcore feminist. Take your red pill logic somewhere else sir.
@@xsgtxbigboy1655 I expect the same of women as I do from men. If you're broke and aren't working your ass off to escape poverty then you're not doing what's best for your child.
My father drummed this into our heads when we were old enough to understand. 'A man that will not work is useless and will come to nothing.' He would even say this to my brothers. 'At least a woman can produce and raise children if she does not work. What does a man produce if he does not work?' I always thought it was a bit harsh but then I saw it when I was older and allowed to date. He was right and I'm glad he taught us this lesson.
My co-worker told me she loves her brother but can't understand why women flock to support him. He has a wife and a child. His wife works to feed him and their child and put a roof over their heads. He has girlfriends galore. His girlfriends pay his airline ticket so he can visit them. The girlfriends are aware he has a wife and child. His wife is aware he has girlfriends. He doesn't work because his wife and girlfriends give him money. I told my co-worker he must be very handsome. She told me that he isn't and she feels sorry for his wife. Just sharing that some men don't work but have women fighting to support their deadbeat behind.
@@BreadCrispy I'm not lying. Why would my co-worker make up this story? You think there aren't women who don't care whether a man is married and has children but want him?
My husband is a paramedic fired due to mandates. Within a week of being terminated he was working construction, while finding where else we could use his credentials to practice medicine again (he’s a specialized paramedic). There is no excuse to “not work and wait”, unless you are recovering from surgery. Your boyfriend has no work ethic, please please leave. Dave and John are not being dramatic.
Everyone is here bragging about what their husbands did etc. Not enough information about the boyfriend was given in this call to make any type of judgment. They never even asked why he hasn’t worked, why he was waiting to work, just made immediate assumptions about this young man’s character who could have had 0 guidance and potentially have been going through mental health issues.
@@Camronrichard1He has a kid. For the kid, he needs to get his act together. Most people w mental health issues can work, and most can be managed with medication. I think she would know if this was a mental health issue, also. Plus he is ok taking money and childcare help from her while she is struggling and getting a second job and he sits around!
@@fionasmom6254 That was what I was wondering. At first I thought he might be volunteering. Don't listen to a man's dreams harder than you do his actions!
Maggie sounds just like my niece. Her and her bf have 3 children and he didn't work through the carrying/birth of all three. Finally, in this past year, he has started working, however, that's HIS money and he will ALLOW my niece to have a little but she is still working 2 jobs to support her family. I wish these young girls would wise up on these deadbeats.
I’ve got a daughter on this path. Her bf has her isolated & she won’t listen to her parents. He recently quit his job without having another in line. He thinks he’s too good for entry level. I’m praying she comes to her senses soon.
@@katewyldegal1370I hate to break it to you and OP, but I think your daughter and OP’s niece like this kind of thing. I make around a quarter of a million a year, and I was single until I was 35. And there’s other dudes like me who earned good money and were responsible, and couldn’t find a woman if our lives depended on it. But these guys that they’re dating, they could probably find a new woman within a month if they wanted, so of course they treat them poorly. Prayers are great, but really, intervention is better. It’s too late for OP’s niece. Your daughter can be saved, though.
@katewyldegal1370 we'll pray with you that it happens sooner than later and that God keeps his hand on her life the entire time. We also need to pray for Maggie, the caller, because she doesn't want to hear what Dave & John have to say. It's not going to turn out well for her if she keeps going full speed ahead on this path.
He sounds like the type that will rationalize that with talking all kinds of smack about baby mama some kinda way and gaslight her in her naivety and youth with all his "big plans" while he does nothing and strings her along with how great their future will be when X happens and how much he loves her and all that happy ever after.
I love the John and Dave tag team. It's a love and punch all at the same time. John removes the excuses. Dave gets in the bulldozer and rearranges the entire area.
Ya, I know Dave and (especially) John get dragged for simping and taking the woman’s side constantly, but in this case, they’re 100% right for telling her he’s a loser and that she should go. This girl needs a better job. And to ditch this boyfriend. And to go get therapy to better understand why she makes the choices she makes and work on it. It may not feel this way, but being a young, childless woman with good mental health and emotional stability (and fitness) means that life has potential. Even if it’s in the form of “5-10 year older man who has his act together sees her as a potential wife”. But if she continues down this path, she can kiss that idea goodbye. She’ll be living off of the government and dealing with a child from a broken home
I wouldn't say that because I don't think people know what daycare costs now. Unless you make 20 plus an hour you are better staying at home and getting food stamps and wait until you can make enough money to pay for daycare and afford to live. People have no idea now. Daycare for a month can be 1,000 dollars and minimum wage job you might make 1,300 so basically you work just to get daycare and the gas to get them to daycare. Not much point in doing that. If he is a single dad he is definitely in a horrible situation.
Funny how if it was a woman with a 1 year old people would be fine them staying home getting government help but let a man do it he is a deadbeat. It's the same situation daycare is 1,000 a month and the dude probably has a high school diploma. So he is waiting on a job that he could pay daycare and afford to live. Minimum wage doesn't do it.
@@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86 Less than 1 million workers in the US make minimum wage. There are 134 million workers in the US, meaning that 1 million is less than 1% of workers. This guy could absolutely get a job for more than minimum because 99.3% of people do. He could work 2nd or 3rd shift. He could seek help from friends and family for child care. He could work when she is home or on her days off. He could do a million different productive things and still raise his child just fine. Instead he is doing NOTHING! Worse than nothing -- he is leeching off his GF that only makes $2300 a month!
My husband’s an engineer. When he got laid off during the Great Recession when he was younger and didn’t get another job right away, he worked manual construction jobs and sold stuff on Craigslist. An engineer! When our workplace needed volunteers due to Covid related things, firefighters came in to volunteer. They were the best volunteers we ever had. Their work ethic was second to none. Agree this guy is a no-good. Run!!!
When I didn't have a job during the Great Recession, I went to the nearest temp office and said "Here I am!" Took any lousy job I could get, no matter how pathetic the pay. I now am in a much, much better spot, but you do what you have to do. What happens is that there are certain people who don't see the urgency in their situation.
Love how they absolutely shut down this nonsense. You're dating a man with a 1-year-old who doesn't work. But let me guess...."she loves him". This is why Dads are so important..
Low self esteem is practically a killer. Been there. Makes you go with anyone who pays even the smallest attention to you. It took a lot of effort and passed time to realize I had more worth than the losers I went with.
@@kokoskokso I like a book called Angel Blessings by Kimberly Marooney. Using the cards that come with it, asking a question (I only used the 3-card reading), it will give you great insight. Usually it had to do with understanding familial issues that keep you stuck in one place.
😢 why do people keep saying when he’s going to retire? Tbh I feel like Dave will keep doing podcasts until he rolls over because I think he loves working and has good work ethic.
Just to be clear she can’t get ahead because she’s watching her boyfriend’s kid even though he’s unemployed? Going from that to “his mom pays his bills, he’s actually not waiting for the job he’s waiting to hear back, no I won’t leave him” was the most predictable sequence of responses ever.
@@countrymusicandcher8593 Essentially this is a struggling single dad they are trashing. Again if genders were reversed these two would be saying marry that poor woman.
@@djpuplexTo struggle implies putting forth some sort of effort. This guy is putting forth none. He’s not even taking care of his own child full-time when he’s free 24 hours out of the day! This guy is NOT struggling. He has a mommy and a girlfriend that pay all of his bills and help take care of his child.
@@kristy1653 By that logic a woman who has a kid and has man who's not that kids father taking care of her and the kid financially is a a deadbeat. You see how when you revert it around how unbelievably bias it is.
She has not "been out on her own". Not if she is living with other people. She is in love with love. She will end up with a baby from this guy and a life of misery.
Come on, she clearly doesn’t have parents to fall back on for support and advice. That’s very young to be on your own, I’m not talking financially, but not to have a parent you can trust is not easy.
As a middle-aged woman who once married a widower with 2 kids.....don't do this! 15 month marriage and 3 years of depression, therapy, and all the bills that went along with that. Please don't stay with this man 😢
Love how protective these guys are of this young woman. Thank you, Dave and John! The guy can wash cars and walk dogs. The guy can get a part time at least while he waits… where we live there is a labor shortage. He can get full time anywhere he wants. Or even part time at one place and side hustling as a copywriter or content writer or stock photographer or… contributor to some part of society that would pay him for the value he provides. Because a man protects and provides. A man protects and provides for his own: Anything less is a little boy playing house expecting you to take responsibility for him that he isn’t willing to take for his self.
But I thought women wanted equality? This is the chance for them to prove themselves. Id quit my job too if I could find a woman to pay my bills. She stays with him because he knows what to do in the bedroom if you know what I'm saying.
My father was a fire fighter for 24 years as i grew up. He always had a job and a half. Helping another fire fighter build up a lawn service (now a big multi hundred employee company), invisible fense installer in the 00s, he was doing 2+ jobs until he retired from the FD for back issues. My dad did a lot wrong but he is a damn good man.
My son was in-between jobs years ago....He was not working. His girlfriend's father owned his own, very busy business. I told him to go to the father and tell him he has plenty of time on his hands, "What can I do to help you, for free"! Show him, he has a work ethic....not just sitting around like a lump!
Sweet heart. You need to run from this guy. Run now. Take care of yourself first. Be smart.dump this guy. Let his mother take care of him. You’re not his mother. Run now
I knew someone who worked at Sav-on Drugs for ten years waiting to get into the Sheriff’s Academy. When he was in training, his parents had him move in with them so he wouldn’t have to worry about grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, or laundry. He still almost quit. Maybe he was low on the list and that’s why he didn’t get in for ten years.
My brother waited 4 years to get a job with the railroad. In the meantime he worked for cellphone companies installing panels (without a degree), tree nurseries , and then a farm hand. Now he’s on a train and being flown to different countries to operate trains. I mean this in the most sincere way…. I used to think my brother was a dummy. Lol If he can be resourceful EVERYONE can.
John was so right. The couple firefighters my husband and I know don't only work at the station. They also have one to two additional jobs. Both of which are helping the community.
@@fauxbro1983Not everything is about your little political resentment. It’s not feminism’s fault that this guy’s a deadbeat dad. It’s his fault. Deadbeat dads are exponentially - hundreds of times exponentially - an older phenomenon than feminism.
@@Johnny5477We can’t do anything about this dude being a deadbeat. But if this girl continues down this path and ends up pregnant from this man, then we have 1 irresponsible man and 2 irresponsible women that have resulted in 2 kids growing up in a broken home. Men just react to incentives. Why change when you have women doing all sorts of mental gymnastics to justify your behavior? Your point isn’t really an argument. The fact is that this is common behavior from young women these days, and saying that maybe 18-24 year old women make bad choices in men will get you shredded. Instead we get to watch as young women date felons and druggies and losers.
Girl. Run. Now. Never look back no matter how the drama calls you. You sound like you're in the drama trance that many of us get ourselves into and can't see the way out of. Literally all you have to do is move out and let this all be in the rearview. You don't have to do anything else for that situation as it it not your problem. It is someone else's problem. Trust us.
I love how the entire world unanimously decided to start calling part-time/second jobs “side hustles” and suddenly it doesn’t mean you are broke and have to work more but mean you are some sort of streetwise entrepreneur. I mean nothing wrong with having a second job, might as well earn extra money if you’re in debt, but let’s call it what it is, a second job.
I think the term “side hustle” is mostly meant to imply not necessarily a second job, but a SECONDARY job OR “endeavor”… doesn’t have to be a job, per se. The idea is you have a primary job, but then you have another thing on the side that’s there to help. Could be a job, could be some kind of entrepreneurial effort.
@@Johnny5477 The modern connotation matters more than the original. Side gigs are still allowed but for the most part side hustle suggests something more personal.
Dr John is 1000% correct on the characteristics of firefighters. These ppl would enver want to just sit atound taking handouts. They need to be doing something, they like to be in the community, they WANT to be useful.
My husband had to test and apply for his fire position for 2 years! And while he was doing that he worked private ambulance as a EMT. He hated it but had to put in the work.
My husband couldn't find a job for over 5 months when i was pregnant with my daughter. But I could see that he was actively looking for work and was depressed that he was "useless" I stood by him and we made it through very SLOWLY now 10 years later he's the sole breadwinner and we're grateful we stuck it out. But you know when a man is lazy and waiting for other people doing his bidding.
I think Dave is spot on. And his team. That girl should leave today. She’s spending money on him and he hasn’t worked in 8 months. She’s probably bringing home 450$ a week. If she didn’t spend it she could save for a few weeks (away from the child man). Probably could save $300 week. Get a side hustle on the weekends at the very least. Save another 100$ a week. Last time I checked intel suites were around 300$ a week. That may be an option. Or just work xtra on weekends. Go to trade school at night.
Delony is spot on in his commentary. Firefighters are extremely hard workers. This is especially true for volunteer firefighters who have jobs but respond to calls at 3am without a second thought. To not be working while you’re “waiting” to get on a department is very revealing and won’t land him a firefighter job.
My 20 year old niece was in a similar position, getting together with a clown who was all talk, no action. He claimed he was studying at university (he quit after two months), he was a 'cryptocurrency trader', an investor in gold and silver, all these wacky get rich quick schemes. Yet he'd barely worked a day in his life and refused to do a 9-5 job. On first meeting him our entire family sensed he was a deadbeat and not to be trusted. She wouldn't listen to anyone's advice. She married him, had 2 kids and 8 years down the track, they divorced after violence and abuse from him. Surprise, surprise.
I had a boyfriend like him for few years, when I had 19 years old. I was about to make the same mistake as your niece. He insisted so so much to marry him… but my intuition told me “NO”. Long story short.. the relationship was awful ,but shortly after the breakup.. HE DIED. This is my happy ending. Sorry not sorry.
So true! A father is a girl’s first example of what a man should be. My dad isn’t perfect but he always worked so hard for us. My husband and I do the same for our kids.
IKR? Right now she can easily walk away and move on with her life. But if she stays too long and ends up having a baby with this joker, then she will be in much worse condition than she is now.
She gets the relationship she deserves honestly. Dude has a daughter, hasn't worked in 8 months, and she's blindly defending him. And it's not a denial defense either. She actually believes he's not a bum.
My son is 19 years old and since his senior HS year, he’s been involved with the firefighter/EMT environment, starting as a Cadet. As soon as he graduated HS, he received a scholarship for the EMT program (pre-requisite to apply at the Firefighter Academy). After 6 months, he obtained his EMT certification and license. Then, he started working in the field (EMT) while waiting to be accepted at the FF Academy. 6 months later, he was accepted and received a full scholarship, and while doing this very intensive and very physically demanding training, he was still working p/t as an EMT… A month ago, He successfully completed his training and his certification as a firefighter and he has applied to several Firefighter Departments that he wants to work for. In the meantime, he is at still working full time as an EMT… 💕🙌💕🙌
You have quite a son and great he is going to work for a fire department...most all I've met are wonderful, honest and kind people! Hats off to our firefighters!!
Ive never watched a video where I was happier to see Dave hang up on a caller. There is a reason this woman is in the situation she is in and her decisions is a prime example of why she is in that situation!! I hope she gets her head on straight and leaves that bum. Otherwise, she will never find herself in a better place than she is in right now!!
It is amazing when you hear it out loud how dumb the situation is. Boyfriend no job, waiting for a job that may or not may come through, has a one year old to feed still doesn't work. Girlfriend moving with him somewhere taking care of kid that isn't hers, living on peanuts. Let Maggie go down with the ship....
1:55 “kind of have a 1 year old.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣 I don’t understand why these women claim responsibilities that are their boyfriend’s. Let the child’s mom and dad take care of that child. Too much stress for someone you’re not even married to
A childhood friend of mine is exactly like that. And while I tried to be understanding yet blunt with her through all her unbelievably wrong choices in men I feel like I can’t do it anymore. We’re almost 40 and she’s still incapable of accepting true love and peace in her life. But the guy who’s missing half his teeth and is jobless until he becomes a famous musician turns out to be the love of her life. And the father of her second child of course. I recently told her „when a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace instead becomes a circus.“ Her response: She prefers the circus. That was my final goodbye.
You can hear in her voice how ashamed she is, that someone convinced her she’s not good enough, but has big dreams. That d-bag has swept her off her feet spinning some future for them together. The unknown is scary. She doesn’t realize that she’ll get it with grit and tenacity or she wouldn’t have called in, but he won’t unless off her back. Tragic. Please listen dear, even it hurts for a time.
@@cutehumor I'd say he does but it's what it's made for. Single dad who has custody it's just as tough for him as it is a woman. She probably ran off with another man and pays 0 child support.
John and Dave nailed this one, I know a few firefighters, they work harder than almost anyone else I know. I worked for one of them, dude was a full time fireman, and ran a business with almost 20 employees as well as his side business with another couple employees, both of which he actively would jump in and work along side everyone else as many hours as he could fit in. This guy won’t make it, he’s not fire hall material
Her story just kept getting worse and worse as she went along. She needs a complete overhaul and needs to get out on her own for now and take care of herself.
Why did she bother to call, if she wasn’t going to listen. Some young people, have to learn the hard way. That dude will sponge off of her until she wakes up and then he will drop her like a hot rock.
She called because she wanted Dave and John to tell her how she was going to be able to get an apartment with her boyfriend, take care of his 1-year-old while he sits back and waits for someone to offer him a dream job, and party with him like it's 1999 on a $2300 a month income.
They are exactly right Firefighters & EMS personnel are hustling all the time working 2-3 jobs or mega overtime. I say this as a EMS Paramedic & an ICU/ER Registered Nurse. I have been in the game over 20 years and I still have 2 jobs. 💡👊👍
You’re right. I’m 32 and regret that I spent my younger years from ages 18-24 living with and supporting my ex bf. I’ve been fortunate enough to graduate with a masters degree and I work in IT management in the gaming industry. But, back then I was a college student living off loans, borrowing money from family, and doing freelance work to support my bf and his addiction. I got tired of it and left and then started thriving. You guys are totally right about the bf you don’t even have to meet him to know what kind of character he has. Plus she’s putting so much pressure on herself just to accommodate his laziness. If he wants to support his child and have a life with her he’s gotta put in the work. She definitely should run FAST.
I have five girls, and I have repeatedly told them to have THEIR own money, have THEIR own apartment, and have THEIR own vehicle. Do not depend on other people or a man to take of them!
Amen to that! My dad raised strong girls, I made sure before I got married, that I received an education and found a career. If in the event anything went awry, I knew I could take care of myself.
I work with firefighters. You can 1000% find fire departments that will pay for your training and let you work while in training. John is right they all have multiple jobs and volunteer on the side. Even if he got into the academy, he would never finish. He's pretending to be a big boy.
Dave, I can't say how much I appreciate your stance here. Two different times in recent years, I have been out of work. The first time, I was out of work for 6 months. I filled out applications and sent resumes in daily. I also worked doing whatever I could do... Delivered pizzas, worked as a day laborer... etc, etc. The second time was for 5 months, and it was much of the same as the first. While we were not able to pay off our debts, nor were we putting back any money, we certainly didn't use credit cards, and we didn't get behind. The budget was tight, but we managed. This guy is a serious mooch and will continue to do so... If not with her, then with someone else. I have also been a firefighter, and I can say you are spot on... But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Timothy 5:8
This is like a baby mama origin story. If this girl continues down this path, she’ll be on tinder at 27 talking about how her kid is her world and that she’s a “package deal”. Because this guy probably is arousing to her and she’ll use all sorts of mental gymnastics to excuse his behavior away. I also noticed that she said that her mom should’ve disciplined her more. Not her dad. How much that she was raised by a single mother herself? She’s getting ready to continue the same path, and as a bonus, we can have more children being brought into the world for men that are passing off the child care duty to the state. Wonderful.
Years ago, I had a neighbor who was a plain Jane, pudgy, etc. She was working multiple jobs and had a tiny apartment. She had a very GOOD LOOKING but total sorry-ass boyfriend living with her who did NOTHING but have his buddies over all day gaming and smoking weed. Then she'd come home and clean up their messes and cook dinner. But she thought she was so lucky cause he was so handsome! He was a total POS. My BF at the time worked for a soft drink company delivering to stores. He offered this guy a job to work Sat and Sun for 4 hrs. each day for $100 each day, paid cash, but he would have to be on the road at 6:00 a.m. This was in the early 90's. The sorry ass said "No man. I can't get up that early!"
@@fionasmom6254 yeah, sounds about right. That’s how it usually goes. Obviously a girl like that could still easily get a decent dude who has a middle class life, but he’s probably also quite plain looking. Chubby and all. Attractive people know they can have average looking people wrapped around their finger. Usually more a female tactic to a guy, but clearly men can use it, too. It’s why you’ll often see relationship members who think they’re the one in power absolutely lose it and scramble to preserve their affection when the other one puts their foot down
The way she talks he is a single dad to a 1 year old. Probably has a piece of junk ex who just left him and a baby for another man. I feel bad for him. Daycare costs are outrageous now. He is probably just stuck and I'd be willing to bet she pays nothing in child support. God help that poor guy.
Girl you need to become independent! Dave and John are right! Listen to what you are saying! I tried to finance my ex husband while he was getting things together it was a disaster! in the end I had paid off his consumer debt, put a down payment our home, had two kids with him and he cheated on me and fought me for three years for everything! I had to cash in mutual funds to keep up with this morons legal circus! Don’t do it Maggie!
This was my stupid ass in my twenties. It ended sooooo bad! Run! Girl you’re doing this all for him and not enough for yourself. You’re so strong and smart! You’ve accomplished so much. Trust me I was there it doesn’t end well. Luckily things are better now but I wish I never let someone control my mind like yours is being right now. You are being gaslighted! So bad I know you can’t see it now but you are.
@@JayJay-ii5unI’ve spent about a year helping someone get sober, they had traumatic grief nightmares and panic attacks, I helped her son after he recovered from chronic pancreatitis secondary to alcoholism recover socially, and spend regular time with his younger brother and mom with severe mental illness I facilitated visitation with the oldest sibling to bring his daughter and wife, and attempted to assist her daughter get sober from heroin as well as take care of her granddaughter in emergency custody, I also supported them when their friends passed away and helped make arrangements for them to go to funerals. This week I took time for myself after constantly spending time with her supporting her hobby dollhouse making and just focused on my relationship with my partner, in this time she became severely depressed and slept for four days straight, despite my best effort to safely bring her to engagement up and support her cptsd recovery and potential avoidant personality and bpd symptoms and facilitate her relationship with her husband to where they can begin to speak again but he’s an immigrant and married her for citizenship and I want to support her through the legal challenges. After a year of healing and sitting with our feelings, I felt a weight off my shoulders as I saw her mental health begin to stabilize and a bit of the weight come off her shoulders, she was r*ped as a child. In the week I took to just go back to spending time with my boyfriend on the weekends, I enrolled for the next semester and I got into a CNA class so I can start working in the hospital. Without a vehicle, I walk several miles to a fast food job, and take a bus many hours to school and back and have no cell phone service on campus. I have almost completed an associates in science and began studying human services to understand how to help her instead of becoming an RN, I hope I’m right.
I quit my job at a Bank making 61,800 due to physiological mental health problems. But Instead of waiting to become homeless I started driving for Uber/ Lyft and delivering for Uber eats and DoorDash AND working crazy hours like 12-14 hours/day Monday to Monday. YEAH, incredibly tiresome and exhausting BUT that’s 9,300/month gross. I also signed up for a on call job driving an ambulance for a Christian organization that helps people in need at 21$/hour and always keep an eye for other temporary gigs while I get my mental health checked. If Had a daughter BELIEVE ME I would be doubling my current efforts like a monster.
My parents drilled working into me so hard that when I got laid off and still was getting full pay due to severance, I felt so guilty and terrible the whole time, even though it was basically a paid vacation. Not working for 8 months and having no income is astounding. Idk how people have the gall to not work!
Girl, I WISH I would have had someone slap me back to reality when I was young with a deadbeat. 2 children later, I have 2 AMAZING teen girls, BUT I'm on my own, work a full time job, 2 side hustles, and get ZERO dollars in child support!!! I know what it's like to not want to listen to people. But PLEASE do yourself a favor and get yourself out of that situation. Life DOES NOT have to be that hard in your particular situation. The guy and the baby are making it!
As a career firefighter, I think you are absolutely correct. That's not how firefighters live their life. Thank you for holding our profession in that esteem!
So much respect! Thank you for your service.
Firefighters aren't that special. They just do special work. Mostly, like policemen, they're way overpaid and over pension benefitted.😅
About policemen and firefighters being overpaid- you’re crazy! Who are you going to call or blame? Sick people and shameless!
@@joyparker3116
Also - go ahead and overpay them! Them and other emergency service workers and all teachers!
Theres a ton of us out here NOT crying about giving them some extra money for what they do for our society and communities! They earn it AND MORE!
Some people just like to post ignorant statements !!
John is spot on saying firefighters don’t live like that. They have a work ethic unlike anything I’ve ever seen. They are constantly working or trying to find a way to help. Every single one I know. My best friend is a firewoman, my BIL is a firefighter , and my uncle is a retired fire chief. They are freaking go getters. She is being played
100% I worked for a guy who was a full time firefighter, who also worked full time running a large landscaping company and had a side business as well, he worked insane hours
Guys as someone who is a sergeant in the military, not everyone starts off like the end product you see in firefighters! People grow, those communities change people and develop character, they don’t start off perfect. John and and Dave did not listen enough in this call to see what was going on. This call showed what’s wrong with society, men are only valued for their work and provision , no one asked why he has not worked, how old he is, etc. if a woman made this call and was in his situation the comments would be filled with compassion about how hard it is to be a single mom etc. I’m not saying the guy isn’t lazy, etc. but I think everyone’s jumping the gun with judgement here.
Absolutely, he's a deadbeat
@@Camronrichard1he has a one year old. Any parent, man or woman not providing for their child is a deadbeat. My personal trainer is a firefighter. He works 6 days per week and his days start at 5 am. He blocks two nights per week to help with the kids b/c his wife works. Sunday is his family day. Oh and he was studying sports massage therapy. When you have a kid - you work. She was even babysitting for this man and she was the only one working!!!
@@Camronrichard1 I agree they did not listen very well in this call. They talked over her and didn't ask enough questions to get the full picture.
That is a hallmark of this show though. They don't usually ask enough questions or LISTEN well enough to really make a good judgement.
But it did sound like he wasn't trying very hard from the little we heard. She seemed to realize he wasn't a great guy.
This is how the legacy of poverty and single or absent parenting continues. We can see the cycle repeating itself: Loser deadbeat preys upon someone who had no solid parents to guide them, they barely scrape by financially, have more kids, break up because they were toxically co-dependent upon one another, one parent disappears forever, repeat, repeat, repeat… it’s so heartbreaking. You have to decide to break your legacy at some point. I wish her the best.
You're right, and I agree with everything you said, but I don't feel sorry for her. She knows he's is lying to her, not working, and will not, but she's consciously choosing to stay and will not leave.
Best I could do was not have kids 😑 no more cycles
Actually, she can be from a household where her mother worked and her father was sitting at home doing nothing.
Children from single households aren't afraid to be single when the man is useless.
Amen.
Take it from an older woman who has been through a little life. If a man cannot help you grow, you don’t need him. You’re sleeping on people’s couches, and he doesn’t care. He should be working multiple jobs, just so you don’t have to do that. You’re too young for the life you’re living. Believe me!
Excellent point. She has a lifetime ahead of her that could be wonderful if she made a few choices now such a ridding herself of this lazy guy. Why strap yourself to a guy that won’t work? She’ll be taking care of him and paying the bills for her entire life if she doesn’t kick him to the curb now.
So you're "strong and independent" and "need a man like a fish needs a bicycle", and "totally equal to men" in every way, but for some reason your relationships shall always benefit you in some way?! The man shall always out-earn you etc. Explain that logic, and explain why we men with the looks, bodies, money and high paying occupations, should accept you in our lives?! With your reasoning we should only get benefits from a relationship?! So, I, who get women approaching me without knowing anything about my economy, and still want relationships with me, why would I ever give anyone of you a chance?! Your logic is totally off. It's easier building and keeping my wealth without you, it's easier to perform excellent in the business, it's easier keeping extremely fit, and it's extremely less stressful and more relaxing without a woman! Women today are just annoying, entitled and not worth the time/effort or risks!
Let's hope that she listens.
@@deportedsouls3165 You don't even know the OP to project such assumptions on her. There's nothing in her comment that would lead you to the idea she's a hardcore feminist. Take your red pill logic somewhere else sir.
@@deportedsouls3165spoken like someone hurt by a woman lol. It's ok bud. Having a wife and kids should push a man to do better for them all.
That guy should be ashamed of himself, having a 1 year old and not working for the past 8 months...... Truly disgusting
Say that about all the women with kids expecting a man to take care of them
@@xsgtxbigboy1655 disgusting all around
So you approve of it?
@@xsgtxbigboy1655whatsboutism
@@xsgtxbigboy1655 I expect the same of women as I do from men. If you're broke and aren't working your ass off to escape poverty then you're not doing what's best for your child.
My father drummed this into our heads when we were old enough to understand. 'A man that will not work is useless and will come to nothing.' He would even say this to my brothers. 'At least a woman can produce and raise children if she does not work. What does a man produce if he does not work?' I always thought it was a bit harsh but then I saw it when I was older and allowed to date. He was right and I'm glad he taught us this lesson.
My co-worker told me she loves her brother but can't understand why women flock to support him. He has a wife and a child. His wife works to feed him and their child and put a roof over their heads. He has girlfriends galore. His girlfriends pay his airline ticket so he can visit them. The girlfriends are aware he has a wife and child. His wife is aware he has girlfriends. He doesn't work because his wife and girlfriends give him money. I told my co-worker he must be very handsome. She told me that he isn't and she feels sorry for his wife.
Just sharing that some men don't work but have women fighting to support their deadbeat behind.
@@M-Is-For-Margaretlots of low self esteem and Brenda the builders.
@@M-Is-For-Margaret that's either imaginary or 1 in a billion situation
@@BreadCrispy I'm not lying. Why would my co-worker make up this story? You think there aren't women who don't care whether a man is married and has children but want him?
😅 Isn't that pretty easy to figure out ??
My husband is a paramedic fired due to mandates. Within a week of being terminated he was working construction, while finding where else we could use his credentials to practice medicine again (he’s a specialized paramedic). There is no excuse to “not work and wait”, unless you are recovering from surgery.
Your boyfriend has no work ethic, please please leave. Dave and John are not being dramatic.
Men do not work for 8 months. A real man will be working
For years yall been making excuses for these single mothers/ females and now yall acting like yall are real men! Jajajaja!!! Simps!! All y’all.
I respect him for standing up for himself and not submitting to the bullies.
Everyone is here bragging about what their husbands did etc. Not enough information about the boyfriend was given in this call to make any type of judgment. They never even asked why he hasn’t worked, why he was waiting to work, just made immediate assumptions about this young man’s character who could have had 0 guidance and potentially have been going through mental health issues.
@@Camronrichard1He has a kid. For the kid, he needs to get his act together. Most people w mental health issues can work, and most can be managed with medication. I think she would know if this was a mental health issue, also. Plus he is ok taking money and childcare help from her while she is struggling and getting a second job and he sits around!
"He hasn't work for 8 months" I almost spit my drink across the keyboard. This girl is delusional.
right?!?!
The power of the D? 🤣
Well, he wants to be available when the FIRE ACADEMY calls him!
No, no, he can change I promise.
He laying that pipe...lol she not going anywhere.
"He is not working right now because he is becoming a firefighter" Maggie he is becoming a dependent, not a firefighter. 🤣🤣🤣
I wonder how he has been "becoming a firefighter" and no working the past 8 months and has not even started the firefighter school yet.
This was hilarious 😂
@@fionasmom6254action sure does speak louder than words.
ROFL yes
@@fionasmom6254 That was what I was wondering. At first I thought he might be volunteering. Don't listen to a man's dreams harder than you do his actions!
Maggie sounds just like my niece. Her and her bf have 3 children and he didn't work through the carrying/birth of all three. Finally, in this past year, he has started working, however, that's HIS money and he will ALLOW my niece to have a little but she is still working 2 jobs to support her family. I wish these young girls would wise up on these deadbeats.
I’ve got a daughter on this path. Her bf has her isolated & she won’t listen to her parents. He recently quit his job without having another in line. He thinks he’s too good for entry level. I’m praying she comes to her senses soon.
@@katewyldegal1370I hate to break it to you and OP, but I think your daughter and OP’s niece like this kind of thing. I make around a quarter of a million a year, and I was single until I was 35. And there’s other dudes like me who earned good money and were responsible, and couldn’t find a woman if our lives depended on it. But these guys that they’re dating, they could probably find a new woman within a month if they wanted, so of course they treat them poorly.
Prayers are great, but really, intervention is better. It’s too late for OP’s niece. Your daughter can be saved, though.
The boudoir action must be mesmerizing. There is no logic that could rationalize this otherwise.
I doubt it They're probably just as selfish in bed.@@ThePolypam
@katewyldegal1370 we'll pray with you that it happens sooner than later and that God keeps his hand on her life the entire time. We also need to pray for Maggie, the caller, because she doesn't want to hear what Dave & John have to say. It's not going to turn out well for her if she keeps going full speed ahead on this path.
If he's not motivated having a young child, he never will be. Run girl!
He sounds like the type that will rationalize that with talking all kinds of smack about baby mama some kinda way and gaslight her in her naivety and youth with all his "big plans" while he does nothing and strings her along with how great their future will be when X happens and how much he loves her and all that happy ever after.
I love the John and Dave tag team. It's a love and punch all at the same time. John removes the excuses. Dave gets in the bulldozer and rearranges the entire area.
Dave is the best for these calls. This woman is going after a dead beat. 8 months no work with a kid utterly hopeless.
This girl is a dead beat as well.
Ya, I know Dave and (especially) John get dragged for simping and taking the woman’s side constantly, but in this case, they’re 100% right for telling her he’s a loser and that she should go.
This girl needs a better job. And to ditch this boyfriend. And to go get therapy to better understand why she makes the choices she makes and work on it. It may not feel this way, but being a young, childless woman with good mental health and emotional stability (and fitness) means that life has potential. Even if it’s in the form of “5-10 year older man who has his act together sees her as a potential wife”. But if she continues down this path, she can kiss that idea goodbye. She’ll be living off of the government and dealing with a child from a broken home
I wouldn't say that because I don't think people know what daycare costs now. Unless you make 20 plus an hour you are better staying at home and getting food stamps and wait until you can make enough money to pay for daycare and afford to live. People have no idea now. Daycare for a month can be 1,000 dollars and minimum wage job you might make 1,300 so basically you work just to get daycare and the gas to get them to daycare. Not much point in doing that. If he is a single dad he is definitely in a horrible situation.
Funny how if it was a woman with a 1 year old people would be fine them staying home getting government help but let a man do it he is a deadbeat. It's the same situation daycare is 1,000 a month and the dude probably has a high school diploma. So he is waiting on a job that he could pay daycare and afford to live. Minimum wage doesn't do it.
@@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86 Less than 1 million workers in the US make minimum wage. There are 134 million workers in the US, meaning that 1 million is less than 1% of workers. This guy could absolutely get a job for more than minimum because 99.3% of people do. He could work 2nd or 3rd shift. He could seek help from friends and family for child care. He could work when she is home or on her days off. He could do a million different productive things and still raise his child just fine. Instead he is doing NOTHING! Worse than nothing -- he is leeching off his GF that only makes $2300 a month!
My husband’s an engineer. When he got laid off during the Great Recession when he was younger and didn’t get another job right away, he worked manual construction jobs and sold stuff on Craigslist. An engineer!
When our workplace needed volunteers due to Covid related things, firefighters came in to volunteer. They were the best volunteers we ever had. Their work ethic was second to none.
Agree this guy is a no-good. Run!!!
When I didn't have a job during the Great Recession, I went to the nearest temp office and said "Here I am!" Took any lousy job I could get, no matter how pathetic the pay. I now am in a much, much better spot, but you do what you have to do. What happens is that there are certain people who don't see the urgency in their situation.
God I love dave. The dad everyone needs
facts
🥹yes
So much good sense.
Love how they absolutely shut down this nonsense. You're dating a man with a 1-year-old who doesn't work. But let me guess...."she loves him". This is why Dads are so important..
Low self esteem is practically a killer. Been there. Makes you go with anyone who pays even the smallest attention to you. It took a lot of effort and passed time to realize I had more worth than the losers I went with.
i thought women got turned off if men have no ambitious and all but if that dude managed to get a girlfriend ? then i should be a pimp or something
@@alladreamwedreameddo you mind sharing what helped you?
Believe me, MOMs know this more than most Dads! Thank God for Dads who do and care enough to speak up
@@kokoskokso I like a book called Angel Blessings by Kimberly Marooney. Using the cards that come with it, asking a question (I only used the 3-card reading), it will give you great insight. Usually it had to do with understanding familial issues that keep you stuck in one place.
this 20y old needed some tough love and good advice. Hope she takes the conversation to heart and runs with it.
What she needed was her father in her life.
Unfortunately, I don't think she will listen 😥
This call is exactly why I’m gonna miss Dave when he retires 😂😂Classic Dave 😂😂😂
There’s really no one who delivers the hard truth as well as Dave does.
I don’t think he will ever retire. Even when he’s 90 I am pretty sure he will do one 2 hr show per week
😢 why do people keep saying when he’s going to retire? Tbh I feel like Dave will keep doing podcasts until he rolls over because I think he loves working and has good work ethic.
He’s setting things up where the company will go on if/when something happens
I think he wants to retire from running the business, and focus on being a personality on the show.
At first, i thought dave and john were being a little harsh. Four minutes in and their absolitely right.
Nailed it
Maybe im just different but 8 months off is absolutely crazy
They are totally and absolutely right. I learned her lesson the hard way and I hope she listens to their advice. They are 💯 right
Immediately, I was proud. Great job guys.
Just to be clear she can’t get ahead because she’s watching her boyfriend’s kid even though he’s unemployed? Going from that to “his mom pays his bills, he’s actually not waiting for the job he’s waiting to hear back, no I won’t leave him” was the most predictable sequence of responses ever.
If the genders were reversed they'd tell the man to marry the women. Wow.
@@djpuplexthey literally started by saying "if he wants to marry you go ahead" 😂
@@countrymusicandcher8593 Essentially this is a struggling single dad they are trashing. Again if genders were reversed these two would be saying marry that poor woman.
@@djpuplexTo struggle implies putting forth some sort of effort. This guy is putting forth none. He’s not even taking care of his own child full-time when he’s free 24 hours out of the day! This guy is NOT struggling. He has a mommy and a girlfriend that pay all of his bills and help take care of his child.
@@kristy1653 By that logic a woman who has a kid and has man who's not that kids father taking care of her and the kid financially is a a deadbeat. You see how when you revert it around how unbelievably bias it is.
She has not "been out on her own". Not if she is living with other people. She is in love with love. She will end up with a baby from this guy and a life of misery.
We all get what we deserve in this life…
@@weepingangel6805 As adults maybe, still there are a lot of predators that take advantage of the ignorant.
That’s what I was thinking.
@@diceportz7107 She's 20 years old. She's an ADULT.
Come on, she clearly doesn’t have parents to fall back on for support and advice. That’s very young to be on your own, I’m not talking financially, but not to have a parent you can trust is not easy.
Praise God for two dads talking to this young lady! ❤❤❤❤ she needs it!
As a middle-aged woman who once married a widower with 2 kids.....don't do this! 15 month marriage and 3 years of depression, therapy, and all the bills that went along with that. Please don't stay with this man 😢
You mean widower?
@@bernieee12 yes, thank you
@@glt-e3n haha Yw, I was picturing two females at first
I think the term "boy" than "man" is more appropriate to describe her boyfriend
Love how protective these guys are of this young woman. Thank you, Dave and John!
The guy can wash cars and walk dogs. The guy can get a part time at least while he waits… where we live there is a labor shortage. He can get full time anywhere he wants. Or even part time at one place and side hustling as a copywriter or content writer or stock photographer or… contributor to some part of society that would pay him for the value he provides.
Because a man protects and provides. A man protects and provides for his own:
Anything less is a little boy playing house expecting you to take responsibility for him that he isn’t willing to take for his self.
But I thought women wanted equality? This is the chance for them to prove themselves. Id quit my job too if I could find a woman to pay my bills. She stays with him because he knows what to do in the bedroom if you know what I'm saying.
I earn $250 a week pet sitting. I don't do it often, but it is a side hustle for me. I was shocked by how in demand that job was where I live.
The lack of personal responsibility is amazing
But it's not her fault! Who's going to care for the baybeh?
@@ricksanchezsflask8794it's never the guys fault
@@ricksanchezsflask8794not her baby though.
@@impopquiz which raises the question of why she is taking care of it
On the deadbeat's part, yes.
Guys like this are always the most confident smooth-talkers too 😂
He's probably good looking, for now
I bet he's "personable". Which doesn't mean sh*t if he's a broke bum😮
My father was a fire fighter for 24 years as i grew up. He always had a job and a half. Helping another fire fighter build up a lawn service (now a big multi hundred employee company), invisible fense installer in the 00s, he was doing 2+ jobs until he retired from the FD for back issues. My dad did a lot wrong but he is a damn good man.
My son was in-between jobs years ago....He was not working. His girlfriend's father owned his own, very busy business. I told him to go to the father and tell him he has plenty of time on his hands, "What can I do to help you, for free"! Show him, he has a work ethic....not just sitting around like a lump!
What happened after?
Good on you guys telling her she needs to get some standards
Love that Deloney stands up for the character of servicefolk!! Yeah!
Sweet heart. You need to run from this guy. Run now. Take care of yourself first. Be smart.dump this guy. Let his mother take care of him. You’re not his mother. Run now
She won’t, she is in denial.
Love that Dave was on this call 🙌🏾
Exactly 💯
I always hear life just happened. Things don’t just happen. Great words.
It took my son 2 years to get on at the fire department but he also worked part time while waiting.
I knew someone who worked at Sav-on Drugs for ten years waiting to get into the Sheriff’s Academy. When he was in training, his parents had him move in with them so he wouldn’t have to worry about grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, or laundry. He still almost quit. Maybe he was low on the list and that’s why he didn’t get in for ten years.
@@genxx2724 its nobody leaves those jobs unless you retire or die. It's to hard to find anything better for what they make and can retire in 20 years.
@@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86 He retired at 29 years with $100K pension.
My brother waited 4 years to get a job with the railroad. In the meantime he worked for cellphone companies installing panels (without a degree), tree nurseries , and then a farm hand. Now he’s on a train and being flown to different countries to operate trains.
I mean this in the most sincere way…. I used to think my brother was a dummy. Lol If he can be resourceful EVERYONE can.
@@seadragon1456 😂 I have two brothers. I say that about them but with love
John was so right. The couple firefighters my husband and I know don't only work at the station. They also have one to two additional jobs. Both of which are helping the community.
There’s a million ladies in this situation it’s sad
Thats what feminism sold em
@@fauxbro1983Not everything is about your little political resentment. It’s not feminism’s fault that this guy’s a deadbeat dad.
It’s his fault. Deadbeat dads are exponentially - hundreds of times exponentially - an older phenomenon than feminism.
@@Johnny5477We can’t do anything about this dude being a deadbeat. But if this girl continues down this path and ends up pregnant from this man, then we have 1 irresponsible man and 2 irresponsible women that have resulted in 2 kids growing up in a broken home.
Men just react to incentives. Why change when you have women doing all sorts of mental gymnastics to justify your behavior?
Your point isn’t really an argument. The fact is that this is common behavior from young women these days, and saying that maybe 18-24 year old women make bad choices in men will get you shredded. Instead we get to watch as young women date felons and druggies and losers.
@@fauxbro1983 How is feminism about encouraging women to support a deadbeat who has a child and doesn't work?
@@ga6589When you’re a hammer, everything is a nail. Some people will blame feminism for a toothache.
Girl. Run. Now. Never look back no matter how the drama calls you. You sound like you're in the drama trance that many of us get ourselves into and can't see the way out of. Literally all you have to do is move out and let this all be in the rearview. You don't have to do anything else for that situation as it it not your problem. It is someone else's problem. Trust us.
John is a great addition. He has exactly the kind of energy needed for these types of calls.
I wish I had these dudes there for me when I was 21!!! Such quality men
"But I looooooveee himmmmm!!!!"
She makes me proud of myself 😂😂😂she's 20 with no kid and a job, she has the chance to tune her life to her liking and she chooses that one
Thinking waist down😢
Time to not love him, then.
I love how the entire world unanimously decided to start calling part-time/second jobs “side hustles” and suddenly it doesn’t mean you are broke and have to work more but mean you are some sort of streetwise entrepreneur. I mean nothing wrong with having a second job, might as well earn extra money if you’re in debt, but let’s call it what it is, a second job.
Indeed! Also, it just sounds like something of questionable legality.
"hustling" allows you to add positive connotations to scams.
I think the term “side hustle” is mostly meant to imply not necessarily a second job, but a SECONDARY job OR “endeavor”… doesn’t have to be a job, per se.
The idea is you have a primary job, but then you have another thing on the side that’s there to help. Could be a job, could be some kind of entrepreneurial effort.
Oh yes , I thought it was just me getting irritated by the “ hustle” how working in a bar , coffee shop or store is a hustle beats me
@@Johnny5477 The modern connotation matters more than the original. Side gigs are still allowed but for the most part side hustle suggests something more personal.
Dr John is 1000% correct on the characteristics of firefighters. These ppl would enver want to just sit atound taking handouts. They need to be doing something, they like to be in the community, they WANT to be useful.
agree totally
My husband had to test and apply for his fire position for 2 years! And while he was doing that he worked private ambulance as a EMT. He hated it but had to put in the work.
My husband couldn't find a job for over 5 months when i was pregnant with my daughter. But I could see that he was actively looking for work and was depressed that he was "useless" I stood by him and we made it through very SLOWLY now 10 years later he's the sole breadwinner and we're grateful we stuck it out. But you know when a man is lazy and waiting for other people doing his bidding.
Yeah you can tell the difference. I would be really concerned for my husband’s wellbeing if he was ever laid off. He is a worker!
@summerjoy247 same , that's the only time I worry for his mental health. the man can't be still.
The difference is, YOUR HUSBAND! Not A man with A baby.
I think Dave is spot on. And his team.
That girl should leave today. She’s spending money on him and he hasn’t worked in 8 months.
She’s probably bringing home 450$ a week. If she didn’t spend it she could save for a few weeks (away from the child man).
Probably could save $300 week.
Get a side hustle on the weekends at the very least.
Save another 100$ a week.
Last time I checked intel suites were around 300$ a week. That may be an option.
Or just work xtra on weekends.
Go to trade school at night.
Delony is spot on in his commentary. Firefighters are extremely hard workers. This is especially true for volunteer firefighters who have jobs but respond to calls at 3am without a second thought. To not be working while you’re “waiting” to get on a department is very revealing and won’t land him a firefighter job.
My 20 year old niece was in a similar position, getting together with a clown who was all talk, no action. He claimed he was studying at university (he quit after two months), he was a 'cryptocurrency trader', an investor in gold and silver, all these wacky get rich quick schemes. Yet he'd barely worked a day in his life and refused to do a 9-5 job. On first meeting him our entire family sensed he was a deadbeat and not to be trusted. She wouldn't listen to anyone's advice. She married him, had 2 kids and 8 years down the track, they divorced after violence and abuse from him. Surprise, surprise.
Men who choose not to find a purpose when they're young, will burn down everyone trying to build a home for them.
I had a boyfriend like him for few years, when I had 19 years old. I was about to make the same mistake as your niece. He insisted so so much to marry him… but my intuition told me “NO”.
Long story short.. the relationship was awful ,but shortly after the breakup.. HE DIED.
This is my happy ending. Sorry not sorry.
Poor girl. This is fatherlessness.
So true! A father is a girl’s first example of what a man should be. My dad isn’t perfect but he always worked so hard for us. My husband and I do the same for our kids.
umm no, my father died when I was 12 and I would never have gotten myself into her situation.
You had your Dad until you were 12 so you were already imprinted with what a man should be @@thejuliasaro
@@thejuliasaroi think she’s referring to absent parenting by choice, like intentionally abandoning your kids, not by death. I’m sorry for your loss.
Listening to the call, sounded more like she's being rebellious against her parents than the parents not being there for her.
Giiirrrrrlllllll!!!!! DON'T WALK.... RUUUUUUUNNNNN!!!!!!
Next it will be, and I’m pregnant. Yeah, don’t do it please. Move way on! I mean way on! Delusional
IKR? Right now she can easily walk away and move on with her life. But if she stays too long and ends up having a baby with this joker, then she will be in much worse condition than she is now.
This is great advice John gives to work from 5 am to 9am driving Uber , work at Mcds at $20 an hour all day then deliver pizza at night
Really??
@@user-xp9ry8yh9z it’s a fantastic idea if you don’t need much time off or sleep
His advice is legit. If you have a child, work work work. Not worked in 8 months, hellllll noooooo
She gets the relationship she deserves honestly.
Dude has a daughter, hasn't worked in 8 months, and she's blindly defending him. And it's not a denial defense either. She actually believes he's not a bum.
I'm sure he's ahhhh-maaaaazing! He's probably handsome and great in the sack.
My best friend is a Firefighter, 3 24hr shifts a week, the other 4 days he’s a FT realtor and loan appraiser. Workaholic and takin in big money
A workaholic isn’t necessarily a great partner either.
Maggie is in love.. she can't see straight lol😂😅😂😅
Rightttt😂😂😂😂😂
"Your judge of men sucks." (Thumbs Up!) I love this guy, so passionate and blunt at the same time. Wish I had someone like that growing up.
Did Dave muted/disconnected her in minute 5:10? 😅😅 he seemed done with her attitude 😢😢😢😢I like his honesty and assertiveness ❤❤
Exactly she just wants attention and this low life is the first guy to call her pretty so now she's hooked...
My son is 19 years old and since his senior HS year, he’s been involved with the firefighter/EMT environment, starting as a Cadet.
As soon as he graduated HS, he received a scholarship for the EMT program (pre-requisite to apply at the Firefighter Academy). After 6 months, he obtained his EMT certification and license. Then, he started working in the field (EMT) while waiting to be accepted at the FF Academy. 6 months later, he was accepted and received a full scholarship, and while doing this very intensive and very physically demanding training, he was still working p/t as an EMT…
A month ago, He successfully completed his training and his certification as a firefighter and he has applied to several Firefighter Departments that he wants to work for. In the meantime, he is at still working full time as an EMT… 💕🙌💕🙌
Well done. All the best and success to him. ❤
You have quite a son and great he is going to work for a fire department...most all I've met are wonderful, honest and kind people! Hats off to our firefighters!!
This is what baffles me. Everyone I know who became a firefighter, were constantly working.
sounds like becoming a firefighter requires a LOT of hard work.... something this caller's boyfriend lacks
🎉🙌🏾
Ive never watched a video where I was happier to see Dave hang up on a caller. There is a reason this woman is in the situation she is in and her decisions is a prime example of why she is in that situation!! I hope she gets her head on straight and leaves that bum. Otherwise, she will never find herself in a better place than she is in right now!!
It is amazing when you hear it out loud how dumb the situation is. Boyfriend no job, waiting for a job that may or not may come through, has a one year old to feed still doesn't work. Girlfriend moving with him somewhere taking care of kid that isn't hers, living on peanuts. Let Maggie go down with the ship....
And add this: if he's not working, why does she have to look after the baby so as to not be able to work more hours?
My head spun when she said he was out of work for 8 months, with a baby???
So glad she called in. I hope she follows the advice of these two uncles and starts building her life.
1:55 “kind of have a 1 year old.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣 I don’t understand why these women claim responsibilities that are their boyfriend’s. Let the child’s mom and dad take care of that child. Too much stress for someone you’re not even married to
A childhood friend of mine is exactly like that. And while I tried to be understanding yet blunt with her through all her unbelievably wrong choices in men I feel like I can’t do it anymore. We’re almost 40 and she’s still incapable of accepting true love and peace in her life. But the guy who’s missing half his teeth and is jobless until he becomes a famous musician turns out to be the love of her life. And the father of her second child of course.
I recently told her „when a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king. The palace instead becomes a circus.“ Her response: She prefers the circus.
That was my final goodbye.
this is a father we needed.
The delusion is unreal 😮
You can hear in her voice how ashamed she is, that someone convinced her she’s not good enough, but has big dreams. That d-bag has swept her off her feet spinning some future for them together. The unknown is scary. She doesn’t realize that she’ll get it with grit and tenacity or she wouldn’t have called in, but he won’t unless off her back. Tragic. Please listen dear, even it hurts for a time.
She’s young, impressionable and naive
her boyfriend hasn't had a job in 8 months with a one-year-old kid??? I guess he's not paying child support. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He might have custody witch explains not working. Day care costs almost every thing you make working min wage jobs.
@@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86 that is even worse. The guy must be on welfare then if he has custody. Babies are not cheap
@@cutehumor I'd say he does but it's what it's made for. Single dad who has custody it's just as tough for him as it is a woman. She probably ran off with another man and pays 0 child support.
@@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86 worse for a man, a dad with sole custody is automatically viewed with suspicion, not pity like women.
@@jwg9338 she probably ran off with another guy. I feel bad for the guy. Could you imagine being a man with a 1 year old.
John and Dave nailed this one, I know a few firefighters, they work harder than almost anyone else I know. I worked for one of them, dude was a full time fireman, and ran a business with almost 20 employees as well as his side business with another couple employees, both of which he actively would jump in and work along side everyone else as many hours as he could fit in. This guy won’t make it, he’s not fire hall material
Run! They are right. Listen to two grown up men. Take the advice!
Her story just kept getting worse and worse as she went along. She needs a complete overhaul and needs to get out on her own for now and take care of herself.
Why did she bother to call, if she wasn’t going to listen. Some young people, have to learn the hard way. That dude will sponge off of her until she wakes up and then he will drop her like a hot rock.
She called because she wanted Dave and John to tell her how she was going to be able to get an apartment with her boyfriend, take care of his 1-year-old while he sits back and waits for someone to offer him a dream job, and party with him like it's 1999 on a $2300 a month income.
They are exactly right Firefighters & EMS personnel are hustling all the time working 2-3 jobs or mega overtime. I say this as a EMS Paramedic & an ICU/ER Registered Nurse. I have been in the game over 20 years and I still have 2 jobs. 💡👊👍
You’re right. I’m 32 and regret that I spent my younger years from ages 18-24 living with and supporting my ex bf. I’ve been fortunate enough to graduate with a masters degree and I work in IT management in the gaming industry. But, back then I was a college student living off loans, borrowing money from family, and doing freelance work to support my bf and his addiction. I got tired of it and left and then started thriving. You guys are totally right about the bf you don’t even have to meet him to know what kind of character he has. Plus she’s putting so much pressure on herself just to accommodate his laziness. If he wants to support his child and have a life with her he’s gotta put in the work. She definitely should run FAST.
Lmao love how Dave ended the call🤣🤣🤣 I was dying
My father once told me if a man can’t help you then you don’t need him!
I have five girls, and I have repeatedly told them to have THEIR own money, have THEIR own apartment, and have THEIR own vehicle. Do not depend on other people or a man to take of them!
Amen to that! My dad raised strong girls, I made sure before I got married, that I received an education and found a career. If in the event anything went awry, I knew I could take care of myself.
I work with firefighters. You can 1000% find fire departments that will pay for your training and let you work while in training. John is right they all have multiple jobs and volunteer on the side. Even if he got into the academy, he would never finish. He's pretending to be a big boy.
This is basically the Maury show with money thrown in.
Sounds lit
U ARE NOTTTTTT IN DEBT. (oooOooOooo screams in the back)
So true. Some of these callers have so much drama in their life that it makes my head spin.
Spot on guys. Run far, run fast, NOW!!!
That guy IS A LOOOsER .....RUN!!!! ❤❤❤❤
Dave, I can't say how much I appreciate your stance here. Two different times in recent years, I have been out of work. The first time, I was out of work for 6 months. I filled out applications and sent resumes in daily. I also worked doing whatever I could do... Delivered pizzas, worked as a day laborer... etc, etc. The second time was for 5 months, and it was much of the same as the first. While we were not able to pay off our debts, nor were we putting back any money, we certainly didn't use credit cards, and we didn't get behind. The budget was tight, but we managed.
This guy is a serious mooch and will continue to do so... If not with her, then with someone else.
I have also been a firefighter, and I can say you are spot on...
But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. 1 Timothy 5:8
This is like a baby mama origin story. If this girl continues down this path, she’ll be on tinder at 27 talking about how her kid is her world and that she’s a “package deal”. Because this guy probably is arousing to her and she’ll use all sorts of mental gymnastics to excuse his behavior away.
I also noticed that she said that her mom should’ve disciplined her more. Not her dad. How much that she was raised by a single mother herself? She’s getting ready to continue the same path, and as a bonus, we can have more children being brought into the world for men that are passing off the child care duty to the state. Wonderful.
Years ago, I had a neighbor who was a plain Jane, pudgy, etc. She was working multiple jobs and had a tiny apartment. She had a very GOOD LOOKING but total sorry-ass boyfriend living with her who did NOTHING but have his buddies over all day gaming and smoking weed. Then she'd come home and clean up their messes and cook dinner. But she thought she was so lucky cause he was so handsome! He was a total POS. My BF at the time worked for a soft drink company delivering to stores. He offered this guy a job to work Sat and Sun for 4 hrs. each day for $100 each day, paid cash, but he would have to be on the road at 6:00 a.m. This was in the early 90's. The sorry ass said "No man. I can't get up that early!"
@@fionasmom6254 yeah, sounds about right. That’s how it usually goes. Obviously a girl like that could still easily get a decent dude who has a middle class life, but he’s probably also quite plain looking. Chubby and all. Attractive people know they can have average looking people wrapped around their finger. Usually more a female tactic to a guy, but clearly men can use it, too. It’s why you’ll often see relationship members who think they’re the one in power absolutely lose it and scramble to preserve their affection when the other one puts their foot down
I love your advice! Do continue, pls. We, love-blind women need it!
Not to mention, where is that child's mother.
Drugs
Any single moms out there with life experience please talk some sense into this young girl she really needs it
The way she talks he is a single dad to a 1 year old. Probably has a piece of junk ex who just left him and a baby for another man. I feel bad for him. Daycare costs are outrageous now. He is probably just stuck and I'd be willing to bet she pays nothing in child support. God help that poor guy.
@@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86 lol
God bless you for talking sense to this young girl.
Girl you need to become independent! Dave and John are right! Listen to what you are saying! I tried to finance my ex husband while he was getting things together it was a disaster! in the end I had paid off his consumer debt, put a down payment our home, had two kids with him and he cheated on me and fought me for three years for everything! I had to cash in mutual funds to keep up with this morons legal circus! Don’t do it Maggie!
Run! Faster! Fast as Usain!
She isn’t going to listen but she really should 🥺
And people have the nerve to say Dave is arrogant and mean. Someone needs to tell these people even though they don’t listen.
This was my stupid ass in my twenties. It ended sooooo bad! Run! Girl you’re doing this all for him and not enough for yourself. You’re so strong and smart! You’ve accomplished so much. Trust me I was there it doesn’t end well. Luckily things are better now but I wish I never let someone control my mind like yours is being right now. You are being gaslighted! So bad I know you can’t see it now but you are.
Dave and John are 100% right.
Thank you Dave for giving good fatherly and financial advice.
Not John back with the McDonald’s sign🤣 “Mr. Firefighter” No, Dave, he’s Mr. Not-a-Firefighter
Next week he'll be an astronaut doctor win the lottery cowboybut it never happens😢
At 20 I worked constantly and loved it. Work hard play hard.
Correct
@@JayJay-ii5unI’ve spent about a year helping someone get sober, they had traumatic grief nightmares and panic attacks, I helped her son after he recovered from chronic pancreatitis secondary to alcoholism recover socially, and spend regular time with his younger brother and mom with severe mental illness I facilitated visitation with the oldest sibling to bring his daughter and wife, and attempted to assist her daughter get sober from heroin as well as take care of her granddaughter in emergency custody, I also supported them when their friends passed away and helped make arrangements for them to go to funerals. This week I took time for myself after constantly spending time with her supporting her hobby dollhouse making and just focused on my relationship with my partner, in this time she became severely depressed and slept for four days straight, despite my best effort to safely bring her to engagement up and support her cptsd recovery and potential avoidant personality and bpd symptoms and facilitate her relationship with her husband to where they can begin to speak again but he’s an immigrant and married her for citizenship and I want to support her through the legal challenges. After a year of healing and sitting with our feelings, I felt a weight off my shoulders as I saw her mental health begin to stabilize and a bit of the weight come off her shoulders, she was r*ped as a child. In the week I took to just go back to spending time with my boyfriend on the weekends, I enrolled for the next semester and I got into a CNA class so I can start working in the hospital. Without a vehicle, I walk several miles to a fast food job, and take a bus many hours to school and back and have no cell phone service on campus. I have almost completed an associates in science and began studying human services to understand how to help her instead of becoming an RN, I hope I’m right.
I quit my job at a Bank making 61,800 due to physiological mental health problems. But Instead of waiting to become homeless I started driving for Uber/ Lyft and delivering for Uber eats and DoorDash AND working crazy hours like 12-14 hours/day Monday to Monday. YEAH, incredibly tiresome and exhausting BUT that’s 9,300/month gross. I also signed up for a on call job driving an ambulance for a Christian organization that helps people in need at 21$/hour and always keep an eye for other temporary gigs while I get my mental health checked. If Had a daughter BELIEVE ME I would be doubling my current efforts like a monster.
I am really glad she had courage to call Dave. She knew something was wrong.
I am 57, 2 kids. Successful career, raising my kids on my own. Know yourself work and WALK AWAY from this man. He is wasting your time!
My parents drilled working into me so hard that when I got laid off and still was getting full pay due to severance, I felt so guilty and terrible the whole time, even though it was basically a paid vacation. Not working for 8 months and having no income is astounding. Idk how people have the gall to not work!
I do not understand how he should take care of a 1 year old AND work at the same time. !
Girl, I WISH I would have had someone slap me back to reality when I was young with a deadbeat. 2 children later, I have 2 AMAZING teen girls, BUT I'm on my own, work a full time job, 2 side hustles, and get ZERO dollars in child support!!! I know what it's like to not want to listen to people. But PLEASE do yourself a favor and get yourself out of that situation. Life DOES NOT have to be that hard in your particular situation. The guy and the baby are making it!
Hugs
"Katherine says he's holding out for a management position."
😂
Well he did have the worm/live bait business!