🙏 I always want to go Home. I'm not religious, I'm not suicidal, but perpetually homesick for a place I don't even know where it is located and whether it even exists. They say the trick is "to feel at home by yourself / with yourself", I hope to find out one day how to do that, so I can experience what it feels like to Be At Home ✌️
I wish I could even want to go home, whatever that is. Unfortunately, the pain has been there for so much of my life, I don't even want to go home. Especially if that is seeing and knowing all of my past.
I started thinking that at 14 when I was suicidal. Then I had a near death, out of body experience and subsequently came to faith in Jesus Christ. I found out that home for me is heaven, and I've been looking forward to going there ever since.
Yeah, that’s a good trick. I’m in my 60s and I’ve wanted to go home my entire life because my childhood wasn’t safe. They always tell you that you make your own home but they never tell you how to do it and I think it’s because they don’t know how. And I think that’s because Home is a place with more than one person and unless I’m going to have multiple personalities, I don’t see how I can welcome myself home. I just decided to grieve for the home that I lost and wish I still had. I have felt home a very few times when I was with a very close friend or in a place where I felt like I had a good connection, so don’t let them tell you that it’s all you. Sometimes it is our environment.
Lifelong depression and chronic sense of displacement. After many moves, it has become crystal clear that even when I was in the right ace with the right people, and I still felt displaced. Thanks for making this issue visible, and helping us recognize the real source of these feelings. Your insight and guidance as someone who has walked this path himself, have a weight and depth that really help.
You nailed it. I love how you really do understand what it's like when the problem is you yourself. How are you supposed to get better when you hate yourself, ya know?
Abusive family traumatised me. Emotional War wounds I'm carrying around everywhere. Desperate to process the trauma which is 40 years old, I'm 50, I need tons of therapy, self-care and to live in the woods with my cats away from civilisation. Need peace and quiet and nature and love and God
I'm so sorry for the pain your are experiencing. For a minute I thought I was reading one of my own posts. I relate to what you're going through. Jesus said, "my peace I leave you, my peace I give you". Now is your time to rest and trust in him.❤
Absolutely spot on as slways - the one thing I consistently want to get away / take a break from is me / my relentless non-stop head - the one thing it's virtually impossible to escape from. Thank you
This hits the nail on the head for me. I was raised very religious, so I didn’t get a chance to form my own identity, self-esteem. I was literally taught that this life didn’t matter and that what was most important happened after death. I had parents who shot down my dreams and refused to equip me for adult life, or get me treated for ADD. I walked away from religion around age 30. I’m almost 40 now but still don’t feel in control of my own life. Most of the priorities I held and bets I placed from childhood through my 20s were a complete waste. I feel out place in my country and in my own family. Given my personality, skills (and lack thereof) part of me has romantic dreams of living in preindustrial times or the distant future.
You walked away from what was not allowing you to develop self-esteem/identity. That choice/action demonstrated and strengthened your belief in yourself. (Might not feel like it to you- my view from outside). You're only in your 30s - don't give up on yourself. I'm in my 60s and still healing - for me every step - however small - is a victory to celebrate. Good luck with your journey.❤
Thanks. You truly are one of the most intelligent and most authentic psychology guys on the interwebs. Truly grateful for your help 🤗 This actually makes a great journal prompt bc it grants a complete focus on the tasks we have at hand with ourselves. Gonna save this one.
We are not born with a view of who we are. We learn that by how we are treated by those who raise us and those around us in our formative years. Here is how I broke away from rejection from those who taught me that I wasn't worthy from the day I was born. I am a 69 yr old female from the conservative upper midwest. It took me decades to reject what they imprinted on my being. Eventually, I came to understand and reject their attitudes and hypocrisy of their own faith, which includes a Biblical command to love one another. In public, they did. In private, they b**ched about others who weren't the way my relatives thought they should be. They infused me with feelings of being "lower" than others which evolved from being teased, ridiculed, and pushed away by my mom and her side of the family. I was treated like my thoughts were horribly wrong if they differed from theirs. My mom excused my brother for everything he did wrong and treated him like a surrogate spouse. I wasn't so important unless I made her look good. This rejection of my innate being led me to be unpopular with high-school classmates, which I still have nightmares about. I suppose I projected what I learned about myself. All of these rejections were drilled deep into my brain, that is until I moved out at the age of 17 when I graduated from high-school. Though I still wore the illusion of being like others thought I should be, I gradually, over many years, became who I wanted to be. Of course, as you already can figure, that only made my family reject me more. How did I change? I came to realize my value by being around people who accepted me and rejected my family's view of me. I began to realize that I was not defined by my small town small-minded hypocritical family and many others around me most of my life. I came to believe that I am a good person, likeable, kind, giving, had a sense of good humor, and could think and believe as I chose to. You can, too. Remember, we are not born with a view of who we are. We learn by how we are treated by those who raise us and those around us. And those people were wrong about me. I became strong enough to not let their b.s infiltrate the thick skin I had grown.
Amazing post. Thanks for sharing your story. We have a lot of similarities. Realizing that we are not defined by others is SO important! I had a tough time deprogramming myself, but eventually succeeded.
@DriftlessWarrior Often, we don't know what's going on until we leave home. And I agree with you, it takes a long time to understand that we weren't being treated right.
For me, I think it is a mix of both. Because there has been a time and place when I was better. Not good, but better. Since I have a job, I feel permanently overwhelmed. This is, of course, because of my mental problems. But although I am working on them, they are still there ... Therefore, work sucks out everything drop of energy of me. So in my free time, I have neither the will nor the power to meet people or do stuff that I like. In my job, I always play a role, and I miss to be around people, where I can be my true self. Also, although half of my job is things I am good at, the other half is stuff I suck at and don't like. I have so many talents and interests that get totally lost in this life. So I actually think, my feeling of displacement is partially true. I just don't have a solution ... Because changing jobs is not an option. With my condition, I have to be lucky to have one at all ...
I used to believe that, but eventually I discovered a useful trick (at least to me): change. The very moment I changed town, job and I met new smart people I became to change myself. A new version of me: more solution oriented, more confident and hopeful. Away from the stressful old toxic people and aware of new ones. I started with some small trips and in the end I changed my entire life. I used to think that "escape is not the solution" but I learned that "escape is a basic tool" for the road-map and an important part of the strategy. Move. Everything but do move. Even if You play chess and board You must move. Change is in our DNA. "Prove ed errori": if You feel in the wrong place/family, etc. listen to Your inner voice and try. Do change. Obviously, do talk with a great coach or therapist, anyway a professional, in order to define Your path, if You can. Or, surround Yourself with real good friends, at least. Thanks, Dr. Scott Eilers.
This is very true. Sometimes that feeling of displacement can be an inner knowing that you need to change -- to get away from some kind of toxicity. I think what the doctor is describing here would be for people who are obviously not in a toxic situation, and who are also not squashing some inner voice for positive change. At least that's been my experience. I've been in both situations (made a major move that was extremely positive, overall; and have been in what looked like externally fine situation but very much feeling displaced/depressed).
it's nearly damn impossible to not succeed in what you do (i mean financially and great recognition in your future). you have such amazing ideas and an unbelievable way of conveying them. i wish all therapists were like you.
Negative. I have accepted myself and haven't been more at peace with the person I had no choice in becoming. But I'll be damned if the monsters I've been trapped among haven't been a direct cause of my pain and alienation.
I’ve consistently had a feeling that I don’t have any right to what other people have a right for. For example, going to the grocery store: I feel as though I’m being allowed to go, not that I have a right as a consumer to go.
@RegisteredNurseL.A. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's a new one to me. Maybe these two things will help you: 1/ Think about situational things similar to what you are telling yourself that may have purposefully said to you that you now know weren't true. If you can find my post about rejection, you might see some similarities and how I was able to change. 2/ Toss out those insinuations or comments or improvised "rules" just for your ears. They were manipulative and false. "Consider the source."
I really appreciate your messages. Could I please put a single request in and that is even in the short videos, they end with no hope. We need to hear a brief answer on the solution or the path to the solution or a single step to take that is very positive for us as opposed to just the hopeless message of how painful and difficult depression is or that the problem resides in us alone. we know it’s all inside of us or that we’re blaming it on others still, bit we are still dealing with the day-to-day suffering of feeling like there is no hope.
His full length videos do provide this kind of solution-oriented ideas. It does take some searching through the topics though. I would look at overall titles of his videos and kind of glean from that where he would be talking about something like "self acceptance" or "negative outlook"....or just browse through his catalog of videos.
@@claesyoungberg1695 Yes!!! Like Little House on the Prairie days and how the country folks of communities all helped one another in times of hardship/illness/deaths, took care of other's kids, traded goods/services, etc. lived off the land, fed their families and each other from their gardens and farms, owned their own Mom and Pop businesses, built their own homes, etc. Even if they all didn't get along, they were still part of a community filled with love. My grandparents lived that life and raised us that way, so to see how things are now is so very hurtful to my old soul.
I respectfully disagree- even though I have had no choice but to be ridiculously adaptable due to not having a permanent home for the past 9 years, I can say for me anyway I am extremely affected by surroundings/ cultures / geography/ environments - in survival mode you often don’t have a choice but if you can leave and get away from the environment you don’t like and that is triggering- it does help. That’s why having a car is vital to me. Cars are freedom and a means of escape and shelter of need be. I grew up in a house full of chaos and trauma have never been able to settle down and have a place of my own even when I could afford it and did have nice places to live. It never felt like home so that is correct with regard to internal, it’s really complicated when you have mental health issues that stem from childhood trauma home is never home because they really never was one. It was just a structure.
I accidentally replied to your comment instead of making my own. I've deleted it. Just in case you still saw it, I wanted to clarify I wasn't addressing you or your comment. Apologies.
Well said, and a useful angle to examine where to focus healing. Sometimes perpetual running away feels like freedom, but it is also a form of imprisonment. Just because it's self- imposed and self-directed doesn't mean it isn't also self sabotage.
I was the youngest of 12 kids and we were subjected to a very abusive parent. Many of us were 'kicked out' of the tribe at a vulnerable age. We ended up chronically lost and displaced. Being removed from your tribe is abuse. I wish I knew then what I know now. Parents who abuse their kids are 'The Biggest Losers'.
They really are the worst humans -- those who can treat their own offspring with violence and hatred are just -- I'm sorry, but subhuman. It's unnatural and that's what makes them not fully human. I'm sorry for everyone who endured such torment from people who were supposed to protect them at all costs. I Hope and pray for your healing.
While I get the point you're making (that we can't run from ourselves), your expression of that idea also unfortunately suggested the problem is purely internal and that external factors like the people around us "don't matter that much". That just isn't true, and I'm sure that wasn't the intended message, but that's how it sounded to me. Just so you're aware. While no one else can be the solution to our problems, bad friends and unhealthy families can certainly cause more harm. The inverse is also true. So, environment matters. Sometimes it's not running, it's just leaving for good reason. Sometimes you feel displaced because you'd truly be better off in a different location.
I have to disagree, at least for own journey with depression. Years of loss in my early childhood, neglect, being abandoned over and over again. I've liked myself and still do, though I judge myself with the same eyes as those neglectful adults and ignorant strangers. But when I find or stumble upon similar people or just truly caring and warm people my anxiety and depression gets so much easier to deal with if not almost gone. But plenty of isolation especially though holidays, that's when I almost break and it feels like true torture. For me my depression is a symtom of my very neglected needs, loneliness, years of trauma and stress. For me my depression isn't the actual big issue but a symtom showing how bad I had and have it, also showing how much I need help.
As a neuro-divergent person raised in a family that scapegoated me, I have to say this short pisses me off. But I understand there would probably be some caveats in a longer format and I find most of your material quite helpful so you're forgiven.
Omg! its what i feel so much! thanks for pointing out..but i really dont know how to deal with myself😞😞😞😒 i feel i want to get rid of myself, i have changed country few times and the feeling remains same! displacement
You always talk like you felt that way..I'm not sure if your telling the truth. Or if it is just a way to get around what your telling people. There are many facets and levels of depression..Not liking themselfs is not always the reason for a person's depression.
Yep... Been running from me for 50 years. Everywhere I go, there I am...
That's why it's depressing... if you can sleep you can escape you for a while, but for chronic insomniacs, only general anaesthesia can let me escape
@@lalalalaland84 completely understand.. I work all night and up all day.
🙏
I always want to go Home. I'm not religious, I'm not suicidal, but perpetually homesick for a place I don't even know where it is located and whether it even exists.
They say the trick is "to feel at home by yourself / with yourself", I hope to find out one day how to do that, so I can experience what it feels like to Be At Home
✌️
Belonging.
I wish I could even want to go home, whatever that is. Unfortunately, the pain has been there for so much of my life, I don't even want to go home. Especially if that is seeing and knowing all of my past.
I started thinking that at 14 when I was suicidal. Then I had a near death, out of body experience and subsequently came to faith in Jesus Christ. I found out that home for me is heaven, and I've been looking forward to going there ever since.
Yeah, that’s a good trick. I’m in my 60s and I’ve wanted to go home my entire life because my childhood wasn’t safe. They always tell you that you make your own home but they never tell you how to do it and I think it’s because they don’t know how. And I think that’s because Home is a place with more than one person and unless I’m going to have multiple personalities, I don’t see how I can welcome myself home. I just decided to grieve for the home that I lost and wish I still had. I have felt home a very few times when I was with a very close friend or in a place where I felt like I had a good connection, so don’t let them tell you that it’s all you. Sometimes it is our environment.
Scott you are saving some of our lives out here. Naming this and seeing the comments is affirming. At least I belong here🎉
Lifelong depression and chronic sense of displacement. After many moves, it has become crystal clear that even when I was in the right ace with the right people, and I still felt displaced. Thanks for making this issue visible, and helping us recognize the real source of these feelings. Your insight and guidance as someone who has walked this path himself, have a weight and depth that really help.
Brilliant, so accurate. It's comforting to hear you articulate the un-ease I experience almost daily.
Spitting facts!! No matter where we have lived, none of us has been happy, ever. And it’s because we can’t be, due to our situation.
what a great piece of insight, thank you for this wisdom.
You nailed it. I love how you really do understand what it's like when the problem is you yourself. How are you supposed to get better when you hate yourself, ya know?
Please read my post. I believe it might help you.
Yes, right..
Is there any solution to this?
Yeah, and moving around from place to place, changing the external landscape doesn’t change the internal landscape, it’s only a distraction
I think it's both -- internal and external.
Abusive family traumatised me. Emotional War wounds I'm carrying around everywhere. Desperate to process the trauma which is 40 years old, I'm 50, I need tons of therapy, self-care and to live in the woods with my cats away from civilisation. Need peace and quiet and nature and love and God
I'm so sorry for the pain your are experiencing. For a minute I thought I was reading one of my own posts. I relate to what you're going through. Jesus said, "my peace I leave you, my peace I give you". Now is your time to rest and trust in him.❤
Please read my post. I believe it might help you.
This post resonated with me as well. Liz, excellent reply!❤
Absolutely spot on as slways - the one thing I consistently want to get away / take a break from is me / my relentless non-stop head - the one thing it's virtually impossible to escape from. Thank you
This hits the nail on the head for me. I was raised very religious, so I didn’t get a chance to form my own identity, self-esteem. I was literally taught that this life didn’t matter and that what was most important happened after death. I had parents who shot down my dreams and refused to equip me for adult life, or get me treated for ADD.
I walked away from religion around age 30. I’m almost 40 now but still don’t feel in control of my own life. Most of the priorities I held and bets I placed from childhood through my 20s were a complete waste. I feel out place in my country and in my own family. Given my personality, skills (and lack thereof) part of me has romantic dreams of living in preindustrial times or the distant future.
You walked away from what was not allowing you to develop self-esteem/identity. That choice/action demonstrated and strengthened your belief in yourself. (Might not feel like it to you- my view from outside). You're only in your 30s - don't give up on yourself. I'm in my 60s and still healing - for me every step - however small - is a victory to celebrate. Good luck with your journey.❤
Thanks. You truly are one of the most intelligent and most authentic psychology guys on the interwebs. Truly grateful for your help 🤗 This actually makes a great journal prompt bc it grants a complete focus on the tasks we have at hand with ourselves. Gonna save this one.
We are not born with a view of who we are. We learn that by how we are treated by those who raise us and those around us in our formative years. Here is how I broke away from rejection from those who taught me that I wasn't worthy from the day I was born.
I am a 69 yr old female from the conservative upper midwest. It took me decades to reject what they imprinted on my being. Eventually, I came to understand and reject their attitudes and hypocrisy of their own faith, which includes a Biblical command to love one another. In public, they did. In private, they b**ched about others who weren't the way my relatives thought they should be.
They infused me with feelings of being "lower" than others which evolved from being teased, ridiculed, and pushed away by my mom and her side of the family. I was treated like my thoughts were horribly wrong if they differed from theirs. My mom excused my brother for everything he did wrong and treated him like a surrogate spouse. I wasn't so important unless I made her look good. This rejection of my innate being led me to be unpopular with high-school classmates, which I still have nightmares about. I suppose I projected what I learned about myself.
All of these rejections were drilled deep into my brain, that is until I moved out at the age of 17 when I graduated from high-school. Though I still wore the illusion of being like others thought I should be, I gradually, over many years, became who I wanted to be. Of course, as you already can figure, that only made my family reject me more.
How did I change? I came to realize my value by being around people who accepted me and rejected my family's view of me. I began to realize that I was not defined by my small town small-minded hypocritical family and many others around me most of my life. I came to believe that I am a good person, likeable, kind, giving, had a sense of good humor, and could think and believe as I chose to.
You can, too.
Remember, we are not born with a view of who we are. We learn by how we are treated by those who raise us and those around us. And those people were wrong about me. I became strong enough to not let their b.s infiltrate the thick skin I had grown.
Amazing post. Thanks for sharing your story. We have a lot of similarities. Realizing that we are not defined by others is SO important! I had a tough time deprogramming myself, but eventually succeeded.
@DriftlessWarrior Often, we don't know what's going on until we leave home. And I agree with you, it takes a long time to understand that we weren't being treated right.
For me, I think it is a mix of both. Because there has been a time and place when I was better. Not good, but better.
Since I have a job, I feel permanently overwhelmed. This is, of course, because of my mental problems. But although I am working on them, they are still there ...
Therefore, work sucks out everything drop of energy of me.
So in my free time, I have neither the will nor the power to meet people or do stuff that I like.
In my job, I always play a role, and I miss to be around people, where I can be my true self.
Also, although half of my job is things I am good at, the other half is stuff I suck at and don't like.
I have so many talents and interests that get totally lost in this life.
So I actually think, my feeling of displacement is partially true.
I just don't have a solution ... Because changing jobs is not an option. With my condition, I have to be lucky to have one at all ...
Wherever I go, unfortunately there I am...
I used to believe that, but eventually I discovered a useful trick (at least to me): change. The very moment I changed town, job and I met new smart people I became to change myself. A new version of me: more solution oriented, more confident and hopeful. Away from the stressful old toxic people and aware of new ones. I started with some small trips and in the end I changed my entire life. I used to think that "escape is not the solution" but I learned that "escape is a basic tool" for the road-map and an important part of the strategy. Move. Everything but do move. Even if You play chess and board You must move. Change is in our DNA. "Prove ed errori": if You feel in the wrong place/family, etc. listen to Your inner voice and try. Do change. Obviously, do talk with a great coach or therapist, anyway a professional, in order to define Your path, if You can. Or, surround Yourself with real good friends, at least. Thanks, Dr. Scott Eilers.
This is very true. Sometimes that feeling of displacement can be an inner knowing that you need to change -- to get away from some kind of toxicity. I think what the doctor is describing here would be for people who are obviously not in a toxic situation, and who are also not squashing some inner voice for positive change.
At least that's been my experience. I've been in both situations (made a major move that was extremely positive, overall; and have been in what looked like externally fine situation but very much feeling displaced/depressed).
@@user-zk5rt3gb3e I agree. What a fine description! Thanks a mill and sorry for my english. 🙏🏻👌🏻🤗
Thx. You enlighted me. Now i am not Alone. Changing the planet was also in my mind. Making peace with myself îs the only escape from my prison mind
it's nearly damn impossible to not succeed in what you do (i mean financially and great recognition in your future).
you have such amazing ideas and an unbelievable way of conveying them. i wish all therapists were like you.
Negative. I have accepted myself and haven't been more at peace with the person I had no choice in becoming. But I'll be damned if the monsters I've been trapped among haven't been a direct cause of my pain and alienation.
Very true Dr Scott.
How do you get better without money and leaving with the problem people and no support?!😭😭😭
Right?
I'm a square peg in a round hole. Childhood bullying set me off on this journey. I do however, think it runs in the family
Couldn’t have been born at no better time or place, just overstayed my welcome.
I think the external can affect, but I apreciate your take
Wherever you go, there you are.
This is awesome. ❤❤❤ having someone else understanding what I have experienced.
I’ve consistently had a feeling that I don’t have any right to what other people have a right for. For example, going to the grocery store: I feel as though I’m being allowed to go, not that I have a right as a consumer to go.
OMG. This. You nailed it.
@@Hafhafnhaf It sucks because logically I know it’s not correct. It has kept me from doing things I’ve wanted to do, like hiking
@RegisteredNurseL.A.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's a new one to me. Maybe these two things will help you:
1/ Think about situational things similar to what you are telling yourself that may have purposefully said to you that you now know weren't true. If you can find my post about rejection, you might see some similarities and how I was able to change.
2/ Toss out those insinuations or comments or improvised "rules" just for your ears. They were manipulative and false. "Consider the source."
So true. 😢
I really appreciate your messages. Could I please put a single request in and that is even in the short videos, they end with no hope. We need to hear a brief answer on the solution or the path to the solution or a single step to take that is very positive for us as opposed to just the hopeless message of how painful and difficult depression is or that the problem resides in us alone. we know it’s all inside of us or that we’re blaming it on others still, bit we are still dealing with the day-to-day suffering of feeling like there is no hope.
His full length videos do provide this kind of solution-oriented ideas. It does take some searching through the topics though. I would look at overall titles of his videos and kind of glean from that where he would be talking about something like "self acceptance" or "negative outlook"....or just browse through his catalog of videos.
@@user-zk5rt3gb3e that’s really time consuming. I appreciate the suggestion, but there are simple ways to teach effectively. I’m encouraging that.
Whoa, felt that way forever.
yes ,that's right , I read a few weeks ago that is not the place itself is with the eyes we look at it ✌️👍
Wherever you go….there you are.
This makes sense. I always felt like I should have been born in the 1800's, but I don't know why.
Slower paced. No electronics. Cities existed but most people lived in the country doing agriculture related work.
Only a white person…
@@sunshine3914lmao
@@claesyoungberg1695 Yes!!! Like Little House on the Prairie days and how the country folks of communities all helped one another in times of hardship/illness/deaths, took care of other's kids, traded goods/services, etc. lived off the land, fed their families and each other from their gardens and farms, owned their own Mom and Pop businesses, built their own homes, etc. Even if they all didn't get along, they were still part of a community filled with love. My grandparents lived that life and raised us that way, so to see how things are now is so very hurtful to my old soul.
@@cerealis_5432also lmao
I respectfully disagree- even though I have had no choice but to be ridiculously adaptable due to not having a permanent home for the past 9 years, I can say for me anyway I am extremely affected by surroundings/ cultures / geography/ environments - in survival mode you often don’t have a choice but if you can leave and get away from the environment you don’t like and that is triggering- it does help. That’s why having a car is vital to me. Cars are freedom and a means of escape and shelter of need be. I grew up in a house full of chaos and trauma have never been able to settle down and have a place of my own even when I could afford it and did have nice places to live. It never felt like home so that is correct with regard to internal, it’s really complicated when you have mental health issues that stem from childhood trauma home is never home because they really never was one. It was just a structure.
I accidentally replied to your comment instead of making my own. I've deleted it. Just in case you still saw it, I wanted to clarify I wasn't addressing you or your comment. Apologies.
Well said, and a useful angle to examine where to focus healing. Sometimes perpetual running away feels like freedom, but it is also a form of imprisonment. Just because it's self- imposed and self-directed doesn't mean it isn't also self sabotage.
I was the youngest of 12 kids and we were subjected to a very abusive parent. Many of us were 'kicked out' of the tribe at a vulnerable age. We ended up chronically lost and displaced. Being removed from your tribe is abuse. I wish I knew then what I know now. Parents who abuse their kids are 'The Biggest Losers'.
They really are the worst humans -- those who can treat their own offspring with violence and hatred are just -- I'm sorry, but subhuman. It's unnatural and that's what makes them not fully human.
I'm sorry for everyone who endured such torment from people who were supposed to protect them at all costs. I Hope and pray for your healing.
Facts!💯
Im always in the wrong town, wrong house, wrong neighborhood, wrong relationship
While I get the point you're making (that we can't run from ourselves), your expression of that idea also unfortunately suggested the problem is purely internal and that external factors like the people around us "don't matter that much". That just isn't true, and I'm sure that wasn't the intended message, but that's how it sounded to me. Just so you're aware.
While no one else can be the solution to our problems, bad friends and unhealthy families can certainly cause more harm. The inverse is also true. So, environment matters. Sometimes it's not running, it's just leaving for good reason. Sometimes you feel displaced because you'd truly be better off in a different location.
But that strong feeling that something is so wrong…
Seems accurate.
I have to disagree, at least for own journey with depression. Years of loss in my early childhood, neglect, being abandoned over and over again.
I've liked myself and still do, though I judge myself with the same eyes as those neglectful adults and ignorant strangers.
But when I find or stumble upon similar people or just truly caring and warm people my anxiety and depression gets so much easier to deal with if not almost gone. But plenty of isolation especially though holidays, that's when I almost break and it feels like true torture.
For me my depression is a symtom of my very neglected needs, loneliness, years of trauma and stress. For me my depression isn't the actual big issue but a symtom showing how bad I had and have it, also showing how much I need help.
As a neuro-divergent person raised in a family that scapegoated me, I have to say this short pisses me off. But I understand there would probably be some caveats in a longer format and I find most of your material quite helpful so you're forgiven.
I feel like I wasn't meant to exist at all, no matter what family, country, planet or timeline.
Omg! its what i feel so much! thanks for pointing out..but i really dont know how to deal with myself😞😞😞😒 i feel i want to get rid of myself, i have changed country few times and the feeling remains same! displacement
Please read my post. I believe it might help you.
Indeed. Doc, how about a more intentional, more distinguished background? You're not recording in a dorm room.
So is there no way to alleviate it?
Please read my post. I believe it might help you.
100%
Any others feel like they are always doing the wrong thing in any given moment?
Thats a real thing?? I thought it was just me!!! Now i gotta ask my doc and therapist.
There is no replacement for displacement.
I found out I am autistic or "Wrong Planet Syndrome", which explained a lot.
yeah but what do you want me to do about it☹️
Please read my post. I believe it might help you.
How about wishing I was never born at all .....😞
Yeah the only geographical involvement is with recesses of our own mind/body complex
The whole wrong damn thing
You always talk like you felt that way..I'm not sure if your telling the truth. Or if it is just a way to get around what your telling people. There are many facets and levels of depression..Not liking themselfs is not always the reason for a person's depression.
Wherever you go, there you are.