My mother. My childhood. Took me about 40 years to figure it out, then I distanced myself (moved 730 km away). And started to figure out how to be calm, and happy.
The purpose of *every moment* in your life is to *enjoy* it, not to waste the precious limited number of days you have on this Earth around people who have revealed themselves by their engaging in established consistent behavioral patterns that are toxic, manipulative and destructive -- people who *do not* care about you or have your best interests in mind. *NEVER* forget this!
They are very smart and use the facade to lock you in to a fake romance. I heard her just say female covert narcissist. I date one. It was by my relationship with Christ I was able to have a shield and to see on round 2 what was there. I almost sent her a photo of burning bridge. I insteed sent a photo of the cross and told her the master therapist can fix her, Doug
Some ppl are raised by narcissists, and that's all they know, also there's still taboo about speaking badly about one's parents which makes it eclven harder...
I'm married to one of these things (a narcissist) and I'm so drained and the sad thing is that I said to myself years ago that all these trials and tribulations people go through and that it will never happen to me because I'm fully aware and I'll be able to see it coming. ..BOY WAS I WRONG! So here's one for ya....... ~We thought we were giving our heart to our soulmate but actually we were giving our soul to a demon !
1. Set you up to have a warped narrative (that something is wrong with you; internalized). 2. Repetition (More to be your best; never enough always on defense - . 3. . Accusing of starting trouble, back down from standing your ground) 4. Worn down trying to prove yourself; met with denial and it's your fault.(confusing) lose touch with trusting yourself 5. Hurt and Rescue - provoke anxiety and then give tiny bit of care - inflict mental anguish - codependent 6. False hope/trauma bonding. Victim about to leave, the abuser shows remorse, and gets them back, 7. Loss of complete control. Toxic person is in charge of everything, your thoughts, activity, money. Eggshells.
The two final stages are by far the most scariest life experiences I've ever had. Thinking back on it now still gives me the chills. It's really hard to comprehend how someone can put another person in such a confused state and twist the reality to their liking. Thank you Michele for a awesome video! I think everyone in a realtionship with a narcissist should see this.
One thing I also observe is that they not only gaslight in a systematic and step by step way but also juggle between these stages. I experience all stages of gaslighting and when I start seeing their abuse and getting free from their control they again start gaslighting from second last stage i.e showing remorse and willingness to change and making the relationship better which is just another attempt to gaslight. They are never going to change.
Yep. The stages and cycles are intermittent. That’s yet another way that they keep you on you walking on eggshells. It’s all designed to make you feel insane. Their erratic behavior, their inability to be consistent on any level, their insistence on claiming THEY’RE perfect angelic saviors… it’s ALL systematic and VERY purposeful.
Exactly. They are always switching how they gaslight, but never stop gaslighting and are never authentic, so no real change occurs. It's a house of cards.
He would tell me for years “ you know what’s wrong with you?” Now he tells me “ why do you always want to be or start drama?”. I feel so much anxiety every time I see him. He will start verbal fights and then tell me that he loves me everyday. Sometimes I tell him if verbal fights is love how do you treat people you hate? I’m always walking on eggshells around him.He has caught me watching these videos and he tells me that lady doesn’t know crap! Why do you waist your time watching that crap? Then he tells me you know you’re a narcissist!
I would have left my abusive family, who has wrought SO much pain and destruction on my life if I’d heard--you can leave them with LOVE. Whenever I heard about cutting off people, that felt mean... and I felt (wrongly) guilty... Now I know, you can leave people in a loving way with a loving and true message in a letter... or create extremely strong boundaries with toxic family-boundaries so strict but with love. These people are very, very SICK, and I feel sorry for them--BUT letting them mistreat you is not good (or morally right) for YOU or for those with narcissistic personality patterns. If I could go back to my 18th birthday, I would go NO CONTACT except for a yearly Christmas letter filled with love.... however I would have to also absolutely HIDE where I was living and change my name. Yes, they are that bad. My mom and dad both have horrific childhoods and let all that sh** run right downhill... sister was the golden child... so I have no real family. If you’re an orphan of narcissism like me, it can be a long road to recognize it/accept it because who wants to have no family????? But it’s better to face this truth-the sooner the better. Michelle, Can you do a video about people who have NO FAMILY whatsoever because the level of abuse/dysfunction isn’t worthy of the word or the trust? I wonder how many orphans of Narcissism there are?
We need to place more importance on emotional intelligence. There can be many wounded parts of us running in the background that we don't even realize.
I feel like walking through life with a narcissist is walking with them in a dark tunnel and you long to be connected to the world but instead you are in this weird boat with someone who you got attached to but changes into a stranger anytime and is very unreliable on an emotional level. So if that mask falls of you feel so incredible alone. Disconnected from the normal world of respect and harmony, basic decency plus hurt by that (fake) friend or partner right next to you. That solitude is worse than being alone in life but free from narcissists toxicity that's for sure.
If you are a "people pleaser" you can be taken in by a Cluster B. You can be highly educated with a good self esteem, so you overlook the little jabs and dismiss gaslighting as a personality quirk.
@@mikeackerman1174 It is all about dealing with the roots of your codependency. Was your mother or father narcissistic? The damage they can do to you as a baby is tremendous. Glad to hear that you are in therapy.
Vampire Slayer I don’t think my parents were narcissist I grew up pretty well Like I had a normal childhood there wasn’t any favoritism or anything like that
@@vampireslayer1989 truer words have never been spoken! I died from being born 6 weeks early due to my dad trying to kill me in utero. The abuse was so horrific to my mother and us. She told me the other day that when i was 6 months old, i was laying in my bassinette and my parents were fighting so much and he had pulled a gun on my mom. She said that i refused to make a sound. I wouldn't even cry. What makes it even sadder is that she did leave my dad, but she abused us and many others around us too. Before the age of 5 i was already a battle worn soldier ... Between all the abuse by many different people and being brutally raped at 4 years old, im not sure if i will EVER recover....
Yes yes yes to every question married thirty years you nailed it. My ex used to get me upset by just being mean spirited he would then calmly sit back and say what's your problem why are you yelling I'm not the one loosing it... you are out of control and over sensitive. Why do you always bring up the past...that never happened. The worse.....your not being very Christan if you can't forget something that happened a year ago. It took a new co worker who read my distress from a bad luncheon date to tell me to look up gas lighting. I found your videos and slowly became assured that I wasn't the forgetfully one...the mess up one. The one with terrible friends and family I should not associate with. I am enjoying little things so much now I'm loving life but it's a hard road because at first I became the bully in my brain to replace him. I was so critical of myself I thought I was ugly and stupid and un lovable. Only self love and these wonderful videos and faith and good family and friends pulled me out of the waves. no contact with my ex for 16 months. Thank you for helping me through this life change!
to go through all possible shades of gaslighting without getting crazy is only possible with a lot of self-control, self-awareness, and a few good people that remind you of who you are. I don´t know why but I took screenshots of chats with her what also helped me to prove what is said and what is not. A repeated broken promise to be there at an appointed time is also some kind of gaslighting especially when they deny to said so came up with lame excuses all the time. A permanent accusation of being angry, sad, negative, lazy, stupid, unattractive, impolite, jealous, crazy, etc. causes a lot of brain fog. They even switch the sense of your statements claiming you to insult, attack, and so on. Gaslighting is an insidious weapon and the damage it can inflict is not to underrate.
I've experienced this in many ways. My mind floods with memories of the different situations and encounters that I've had with toxic people and relationships. Michele, I would like to bring up something about the reference point that you talked about. Because I was steeped in narcissism since I was a baby, which carried on throughout school into college, at every job, in dating and marriage, etc, I feel like I never really had a reference point to get back to. The strategies for changing that I've learned is like taking a school course on a subject that I would have little-to-no knowledge of; beginning with learning theory (book learning), then learning by doing (like a corresponding lab). I don't know if that makes sense, or not. I just don't think I ever had a reference point, except for believing that I was a born loser. I don't believe that anymore. Maybe my reference point is more like a mirage in a desert, or an illusion. But now I see that belief (born loser) as false. Now I'm moving towards gaining a sense of who I really am. I am a daughter of God, of infinite worth. I am imperfect, but that's okay because I am a work in progress. I have gifts, talents, and purposes to accomplish. Sending you love and hugs, Michele. I'm so grateful for you! 💖
yeh you so right....the kingdom of the heavens is inside you/me/etc......but if not than how to find this start/reference point...(i dont speak religios wise here, to me this nolige is common and all over the place, but cost me a lot of years whit out religion)
I do relate to this example because I’m always accused instead of my parent taking accountability for their behavior towards me. Instead of changing their attitude to fix the problem, they intentionally make me look like I’m the problem. This video was so helpful. Thank you.
I feel your frustrations as I'm in the same boat. I have a Covert Malignant mother & a Covert Malignant boss. You're definitely not their problem. They're projecting. One thing that I really recommend is to journal. Write down every bizarre dynamic that you encounter along w/ the specifics. Use different color ink & highlighters to help brighten your mindset. This will keep you in your truth. Continue to educate yourself on all things Narcissism. Check out Dr. Ramani & Dr. Les Carter. They have really good content on TH-cam. Hang in there.
Woman, you are the Narc Whisperer. You have a way to explain so succinctly. This can get a bit confusing sometimes. To be fair, I think most people exhibit some of these behaviors every great once in awhile. Let's keep letting people know about this disfunction before it becomes "how it is" for everyone. Bless you, woman, and great job rising above this yuck.
I wish that I had known this years ago …. 😢 I have continually fallen into the covert narcissists in my life … their tricks traps and manipulation tactics ….Thank you so much for these videos… they are life changing… 🙏❤️
Thank you for making this video ! I was abused by a diagnosed narcissist and was so stuck in the self blame and the renumerating of the events . He convinced me that I was defective and not worthy . It’s taken years to slowly restore me to the old me
My narc ex-wife did Gaslighting with me and for a while I fell for it, that is until I caught onto her tactics by educating myself by watching narcissist abuse videos like from this channel. Thanks Michele for this video.
Warren C Right, it’s Entirely different once you know what they are doing/their intentions/mind manipulation tactics. Much less internalization. I’m sorry for you though.
Very interesting that you said "the only person who can get through to you is the toxic person" I was never able to see my mom's abuse for what it was until after she told me "I'm not as nice as you think I am"
This is exactly what happens. You need to hava a reference point, we need to feel comfortable, have clear identity so when you meet a toxic person, you listen to your body and intuition and start feeling emoowered instead of feeling helpless and hopeless. Thank you Michelle.
LOVE Conquers ALL ; I disagree. Love DOES NOT CONQUER ALL! I was taught in my Catholic upbringing to ALWAYS turn the other cheek, to ALWAYS LOVE & FORGIVE, no matter what & I can tell you that is EXACTLY WHAT the Narcissist is looking for & definitely devours! That type of upbringing is well-entrenched in Catholics along with the belief that Divorce is a sin. People need to be VERY, VERY CAREFUL about passing judgments!
People that tend to put others before themselves are like magnets to narcissists. This behavior of self sacrifice usually stem from childhood trauma, where their parent(s) and/or caretakers are self absorbed and demand everything to be centered around them. You need to heal your Inner Child, if this is the case for you. Look up whatever resource that resonnates with you, but I would recommend Guided Meditations to begin with, and then move on to a more systematic approach with some reading material designed to use a pen and paper, photos of you as a child and other means to reconnect with your inner child. Otherwise you will continue to neglect yourself and thus remain a magnet to narcissists, upholding this cycle of abuse.
You’re so awesome! Thank you for helping us. You’re a beacon of light in a world of darkness. And, I have a theory that the really malignant narcissists target individuals who are strong, successful and have a mind of their own because then, if they break you, they feel supremely powerful. Fortunately, I knew what all these things were before they started happening so I recognized it. Because of earth angels like you!
One of my favorite activities is watching movies. My parents and I would bond by watching movies together and quoting them to each other later in conversation. When I lived with my abusive ex, my video library was largely boxed up and stored in the basement in a room we didn't regularly use. I was made to feel ashamed of not only of picking through my movie collection, but for merely being in the room where that collection was stored. When I was called to fetch something from the basement, I would sometimes sneak a look at that source of passion and entertainment that had been abandoned. ... of course I would get yelled at for lingering too long downstairs...
Thank you for breaking this down. Narcissistic people love 💕 taking your self esteem! - or they try too. I had to build up my self esteem again , won’t ever let some one bury it again. Love your channel Michelle & will sit back & listen & learn more from you 👈🙌☀️
I've been lied to, decieved, manipulated, like anyone else...the only one in my life who ever gaslit me to the definition was my ex father. It was disturbing and the first experience where someone was trying to warp my truths and reality. Its amazing the brashness, like their reality delusion spell they try and cast.
She litterally crushed every single one of my special interest and adopted them, she ended up telling me things I had taught her like she knew better than I did. I didn't really react to it because I don't feel threatened bu someone who knows better than I do and I was so focused on not being the jerk she kept telling me I was that I saw nothing as it was unfolding. I blinded myself by the belief that people could not be this dishonest and manipulative, my own egocentric traits had me thinking I was invincible.
Same here. Its so annoying. Im not alpha and omega but it pisses me so much off when I actualt show her something or she sees my behaviour towards son and after day or two or in extreme cases after couple of hours she acrs same as me and gives me lecture about how wrong Am I.
Sometimes the gaslighter does another important thing - acts on social level and tells to everyone lies about the target that he/she is crazy and how he's worried about the target
Yeah bro that's me an my mum... She's raised me into a rage state. Now shes like a remote trigger for me. Problem is she puts on her other face so well. I scuggle to hold two faces. Or thou I have a lot of different emotions.
Wow.. this all happened to me.. I had already been watching vids like this and could start to see what type of relationship I was in. He did the whole 'I am really worried about you' stuff implying I was nuts. So, I began to see a pyschologist and told him so. Boy has he been quiet and very nice ever since. He knows that I am now observing him (and he is textbook narc.. sooo fun to observe) and that I have him worked out. He still comes around as he is using my landlord (a mutual friend) to do stuff for him as he has every tool under the sun.. loving it.
Watching this video has really opened up my eyes. I am on stage 7, and just recently was made aware that the way I have been treated by this person is wrong and abusive. I am focusing on healing and working on myself. I currently can't get away from this person but I can learn about healthy relationships and not fall prey to their manipulation and abuse anymore! Thank you!
An example of this. I had a long relationship with a guy. Over time I realized that I really wasn't accepted by his family of origin. I would try to start a conversation and could tell no one was really interested in what I had to say. I asked him why I wasn't feeling accepted and felt like an outcast. He told me that I didn't talk enough. I.e. It was My fault I couldn't make them like me. Rid of that mooch because I finally realized he enjoyed watching me Beg and squirm. It will leave you feeling raw. Our narc parents set us up for this treatment. And I truly believe that they were nothing short of evil.
You described it very well, and freely. I shall tell you what was most painful for me : to realize it's my own parent who did to me what to enemies would be done.
Michelle I just personally want to say thank you. I think you are beautiful in the way are education people on this form of abuse. Some of us are so clueless and blind until we see stuff like this. Stuff that opens our eyes up to the truth and the hurt that has fallen on us. I send my love your way thank you for your videos!!
Something about the examples you give through real life scenarios (that I’ve all been through), really has brought things to light for me & is helping me gather the strength to leave for good. He constantly tells me that I’m not a good person and points out all “my” flaws. When I say “why are you the only person in my life who thinks this way about me?” He says “maybe they just haven’t told you”
I think trust in a relationship is overrated. When my ex-husband started getting frequent night calls, I would ask and he would just wave off those calls as unimportant. At a time I could take no more of his lies, I decided I deserve to know what was going on so I contacted this great hacker Dr Nevetica via cybertherapies@gmail who helped clone his phone. All I did was share his phone number and through a remote link sent to my own phone, I was able to access all of his texts, calls and social media messages (Incoming, outgoing and deleted) which was how I discovered he has been cheating. Thanks to Dr Nevetica, I can now file for divorce. If you need help or that little bit of closure, I advice you get in touch with Dr Nevetica on cybertherapies@gmail and I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after I discovered the truth.
This is the best explanation of how I felt when I was with my ex. Thank you for this video. It helps me getting an understanding of what happened from an objective perspective. The more I understand about the psychology behind these things the more I can work towards no longer blaming and hating myself for being in the situation I was in.
Incredible .. I’m stuck in quarantine and my brother is doing just that to me. His partner always tells me he see’s nothing wrong in his behavior towards me, and that makes me feel like he wants to allow it as well. It’s been hell. I’ve been keeping my distance and not reacting to him at all, but somehow he always finds the way to say I did something wrong, and triangulates me with his partner. His partner apologized several times saying I’m not the person my brother always wants to portray me as, but then acts like nothing ever happened. It’s crazy, when I’ve successfully avoided him for long periods of time, he looks tired and depleted, and I always say to myself ... “oh boy, he needs to feed on me cause he’s going to snap”. That’s exactly when he figures out how to come at me, and then he looks better for some days. I feel living with a crazy person, and an accomplice.
Seems like using the "gas" is just a game for the cerebral narc who is perpetually bored. Object constancy, boring. Loyalty, boring. Not lying, boring. Not projecting, boring. Not manipulating, boring. Not causing someone emotional distress, boring. Not abusing every societal norm, boring. Not idealizing, triangulating & discarding, yep....boring. Like riding a bike, you wont forget to put your foot down before you fall (for it again). I really liked this vlog. It's amazing what the right person can convey in a few minutes.
Brad McEwen , it is not just a game. They want to feel important and powerful. They do it by constructing a game as to win, and the prize is power over the life of another human being.
@@kofeaclarrinfea9877 Agree for sure. Hindsight clarity realizing disorder comes cleverly disguised. Covert in public, overt as hell behind closed doors. To them it is no deeper than a game. Dead souls with zero holds of exploitation. It is a window into their malevolent mindset.
Thank you. Finding your content was what started my healing. 7 months ago I went no contact and hated myself. I was at my lowest, and 2019 had already done a number on me due to the exposure to the person that triggered all my fawning, sld/codependency, anxious attachment, abandonment fears etc. I thought breaking contact with them would be the hardest but the months after were. Self harm, screaming and crying and throwing things. I was nothing but anger with myself and immense shame and grief. I'm in an emotional/mental place ive spent my entire life believing I could never ever get to, and this is only the start of healing. It is so incredibly hard. It's so painful. But it is worth it. Getting to know myself for the first time in 26 years.
Well I dropped out of school in 11th grade so this is going to be nearly impossible... from the age of 16 I've never been independent enough to consider myself ..Free to think about me. Michele made it so clear, that even I understand it. But awareness feels more painful than anything a Narc could do . So you may ask yourself why do I come back to Michele's videos if they're painful? I can't put it to words.. But I can give an example ..Yesterday I laid in the grass looking up at the clouds with sun rays shining through .. my mind was empty .. It took me back to my childhood. Everyday from Sunrise to sunset I would spend at a pond fishing and trying to catch frogs..I was alone..I was happy..That is the feeling I had yesterday looking at the clouds..Free ..hope and excitement of becoming what ever I wanted.. I may make a real fool of myself spilling out my emotions like a 10 year old girl ..But it works ...
How cool to have a moment to be just BLANK. It's nice to hear that you were able to find solace as a child. I think about all us kids who found ways to escape somehow and just marvel at the creative ways we found to do so. These dynamics rob you of a chance of being a SELF to begin with. Every day is a new day. Every day is a chance for salvation.
I think feeling more pain when we first become aware that we were victims of narcissism is normal. Even though it hurts, I too kept turning to more and more videos. I had to learn more, because even though it hurt, and I cried a lot the first few months, it was... Cleansing? Healing? I'm not sure what. Maybe it was validation in the illumination. It was seeing the truth of my past, and present reality. Maybe it's like one of the steps of grief when we realize what we've been through. Anyway, I think the pain passes, at least it seems to be for me. I keep watching videos though because every once in a while my brain takes me down the old guilt path and second guessing myself. The videos keep me on course. Best wishes to you on your healing journey!
Omg!! You've just described my entire childhood,with my mother and father...I was the eldest and the scapegoat child.. also attracted the same type of people growing up...could never understand what was wrong with me...until I went 'no contact' for 3 years now,theres still immense pain which i am processing,but I am finally free...Thank you so much Michele for your channel and amazing work,you are a true lightworker😊
What you said about the personality swap is so spot on please make a video on that. I felt that u had such a quiet confidence before him and then I became the most insecure person I’ve ever met and he become calm and confident like I was. If you already have a video on this let me know.
I've been at stage 7 for years but it seems as if there is a reset button for the entire cycle of all these levels to repeat. Michelle, past 3 years I dont know how I would have handled my very toxic marriage without your wisdom and knowledge. I tell everyone to watch your videos. Those who need your help that is. XOXs Luv!!!
@ Wow, I didnt even give a hint of the madness n your letting me know better. Thank you. A little harsh but needed. Apparently, u have been through some madness yourself. Thanks, it's nice to have someone tell me other than my therapist.
This is an amazing detailed breakdown of how the narcissist steals your sanity. I was at that 7th stage but before i got there my family and i had one good friend who intervened and stood up for me and helped me. I was seeing the toxicity but still couldn't get away from it. I finally realized if i didn't get away this deteriorization of my mental health was going to possibly destroy my career and finances and my life. I made the choice one day to end it, so i blocked everything social media , cell phone. And even though it was the hardest thing i ever had to do , i maintained no contact. I'm at 8 months now and even though i still think of the ex narc, i see things so much more clearly as to how bad and toxic of a situation i was in. I will never go back. It was horrible, a sin to what i had to deal with. Nobody ever should have to go through that.
Thank you so much for this video! Every single thing you have mentioned rings true for me! I feel vindicated in knowing that it really wasn't me all this time. I wasn't the one who was causing problems or the one who was always to blame even though they still try to accuse me of such things. Please make a video on how to get to know yourself again after distancing yourself from toxic families like this. I have no idea who I am anymore. It is disturbing. I try to find joy in things and it is so difficult and bizarre because I've been on the defensive mode and blocking the pain for so long that I have lost touch with myself and the beauty of this world. xoxo
My narc ex used to gaslight me among other things. However I'm seeing my mother in your examples. She's always gaslighted me, now I can see that. She's even said that I've created a whole alternative reality. Now I can see it clearly and not fall for it.
Thank you Michelle. We have to have a reference point, we have to have our core identity and we have to trust ourselves, we have to take responsibility for our own lives and do not give power over our lives to any outside forces.
Wow, this brought me back to the early dating stage with my husband. I just finished singing with my band at the time and there was an audience question session. Had a fun back and forth, laughing and engaging - really enjoyed myself. Afterwards he said to me, with a straight face, “You play the dingbat quite well.” Made me self conscience, like, did I come across as ditzy? SMDH.
Thank you Michele. Your explanation made so much sense and I’ve been there before. God bless you and all survivors of narcissist abuse! It’s the real deal! June 1st was national narc awareness day💪🏽❤️🙏🏽
I've experienced alot of gaslighting on and off youtube . Michele thanks for covering these topics ! I was accused of being married , that I was a beta & someone named John slept with my wife ! I was like wtf ?
Kinda same happened with me ! After going no contact he texted me saying that 5 men came into my life in the month of November or December and all have bad intentions towards me they all want to sleep with me and one of them had fair complexion curly hair I was like wtf is that now .. and then he said January was a tough month for you some Astrologer told him and he wants to protect me by texting me in the month of march after two months of January and he said to my mother directly on phone call that I'm sleeping with 5 men atm..
it is all so true (& sad...)....- that's what happens when being with narcissists... But thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, insights with us - it is so helpful & it's bringing so needed understanding & hope*** Thank you, Michele 🙏
Love your work Michelle, when changing careers I moved in with covert N mother (& codep father) out of curiosity of how codependency became a problem in my life. I went on to find great resources like this to understand that and as well as the biggest mistake ever made to rely on them for shelter. The most relevant coaching I have heard for me thank you - fixate on the beach reference point for who I am - strengthen self identity, self love, heal wounds. This is most important day to day because the psychological assault never stops in the broken home even from a mother. Someday soon no contact for sure, your shared experiences here has given me much hope Michelle!
Wow, my husband is not a narc but his mom was a covert narcissist. My husband had gotten very involved in gaslighting me to get me to join in the narcissistic family cult and to avoid having to get involved when his mother inflicted narc abuse on the kids or on me. I am still figuring all this out because I only realized MIL was a narc a few years ago... Right after she got a stage 4 cancer diagnosis. She used that diagnosis to her full advantage. Initially I had hoped she would change her ways but no, she did the typical narc thing and got worse. My poor husband told me he was holding out hope that his mom would take these, her last days, and use them to become the mother she never was to him. It was heartbreaking. She would treat him like absolute crap and then wait several weeks and lure him back in, invite him over or buy us dinner, ect. He fell for it every time, grasping onto that futile hope that she would change. She never did. Just a month and a half before she died she played one more ugly trick on our 12 year old daughter whom MIL was jealous of, leaving my child the only granchild who never got a special handmade gift she made for all the rest of them. Somehow she got away with this cruelty.
My Wife developed a relationship with the Justice if the Peace and Sheriffs Dept. She would secretly call them making up stories so awful it literally caused an investigation. In fact she was able to get Law enforcement to join in her gaslighting campaign. I was framed taken to jail. On the way deputies took me out in the desert and put a gun to my head pulled the trigger to terrify me. How in the world was she able to pull that off. I don't have a chance.
U r my literal saviour when I raised my heart to my support groups as soon as I asked for support, not have it they shunned me as soon as mentioned what is really going to with me...uving with a Malignant cover narsissist! I'm out I've got nuthin just be and u to keep me sane and alive survival until I can leave.... U have no idea how slowly he got rid of my financial means of escape. Where can I get help and support to escape... For myself and myself.. I'm an artist, a sculptor and photographer and performer and good but I'm disabled... I don't know anymore I am devastated by both my support groups within days of each other left me on my own.... Thank u so much for your beautiful support xxx
EXCELLENT ADVICE.....YOU ARE HELPING PEOPLE TO REALIZE WHAT'S HAPPENING TO THEM BY GETTING THEM TO ANSWER THE QUESTIONS.....ABOUT WHO IS REALLY IN CONTROL...VERY HELPFUL....THANK YOU.
Stage 1: they set you up to have a warped narrative (goal is to get you to think there’s something wrong with you acting like they’re ‘helping you’) Stage 2&3: repetition. Now nothing you do is right but they’re tryna ‘help you be a better person’ so now you’re trying harder but nothing is enough. You’re constantly on the defense. You still have a good hold on your reality and then you say something about how u feel and instead of responding in a healthy way- they escalate, deny and say stuff like “I’m just trying to help you” “you can’t take criticism”. Not only are they holding firm to the belief that somethings wrong with you, but now they’re accusing you of starting trouble and causing drama. Now you’re trying harder to show them your truth. Since you don’t want to be seen like something you’re not you continue. Stage 4: you get worn down. You did so much to prove that you’re not what you’re being accused of, but your being met with further invalidation and further denial. They will twist the convo and make it think it’s your fault in a way that it’s scary. By the time you finish the argument you don’t even remember what the original topic was. You start to feel helpless. You start to put so much emphasis on the other person’s point of view and diminishes their own in their own eyes. Stage 5: they begin their hurt and rescue missions. They will give you severe anxiety and wait until you are absolutely devastated from the hurt and pain, they will rescue you with a tiny brief morsel of care. What they are creating is a co-dependent relationship between you to them. (Like munchhausen by proxy- they will hurt their child and then save their child while they are the ones provoking the illness) when victim is at this stage, it doesn’t matter what anyone says, they can’t get through to you. The only person with the power to get through to you is the toxic person but they use it to hurt you. Stage 6: false hope. When you finally have one foot out the door, the narcissist will show a morsel of care to make you think that maybe there’s hope. To get you to think that maybe everything will get better. Stage 7: loss of complete control to the toxic person. At this stage they are in control of everything, your passions your dreams joys, money, everything. When you wake up are you excited or waking on eggshells? When you think of doing something for yourself that makes you feel good, so you have to hide? Does that person have the ability to control your emotions? Do they have that power? Making you feel like they are in control of your emotions? Do you feel like not only did you stop being who you were but now you’re slowly taking on their toxic traits and they’re somehow swapping personality’s and showing traits you has in the past. Swim your ass back away from drifting deeper into that ocean. It’s legit an ocean tho. See yourself through your own eyes instead of how someone wants you to be. That way if you ever meet someone like this again, you will know yourself well enough to not allow yourself to go into that. You been hurt enough, there’s no reason for you to hurt you ♥️
Thank you. You have confirmed everything that has happened. Answers to your question would be YES. I am divorcing the narc but lockdown and sale of the family home is holding things back. I have successfully slammed the door but he is still grooming my daughters easily because he has cancer. ❤❤
Spot on . Projecting their discomfort on their target. Gas lighting . I get this. Trust yourself. Yes.Hurt n rescue. Breadcrumbs. I am not secured. I'm not safe. IAM who I am ; they're the problem.
Sometimes, I find myself coming back here, on this channel and on Little Shaman's channel. It's like my fingers have a will of themselves. And now I realise that this is a sign: if I am here, it means that recently I have dealed with a narcissist person. And now, like a wounded animal, I instinctively go to the river to drink water and look for the herbs to heal myself. When everything is fine in my life, I simply don't find any reason to come back here, and if I do, it's just to search for information to help a friend. But most of the time, when I come back here is because I feel the need to remember how these people's minds work. And I feel the need to remember that I am not crazy.
Thank you Michele for all your videos, I'm stuck in a relationship that is so toxic he does exactly what you talked about ,he gets violent most the time when ever he is called out or ask a question from me and he will turn the focus on me where I totally forget what the heck I ask him and now I'm the one in the wrong . I want out so bad but I don't know how to leave its his house my car and most everything in the house is mine ,but he will not let me leave and if he does he won't allow me to take anything and threatens to destroy everything of mine if I do leave .
well said and so True Michelle..thanks for makin us survivors realise somthin so imp..i love ur videos..thanks for bein our Life coach..alll our life coaches running ds chanels are beautifull people wth beautifull hearts... Ur doin a good job.. Stay Blessed🥰
Thank you for this very insightful explanation and for breaking it down specifically in order for those of us who have experienced it to relate! Grateful!
I’m in stage 7, I’ve drifted far away from land, and sadly the only thing/person that can save me is her. These type of people (narcissist) are the most sweet, great, loving “potential filled people” but their based foundation was ruined early on in life so as depressing as it is, you will only hurt yourself emotionally, mentally and possibly physically the further down the road you go with him/her.. save your sanity and your life .. literally.. I don’t know how much more I can take myself, my mental health has depleted and my back is against the wall and don’t know what to think next. Save yourself - love
@L EH YES!!! Jesus has been my hero and always will be! I'm not out yet because i am really seeking His Will. Its weird though because my husband was SUCH an a- hole to me for so many years until i developed thryoid cancer and my second endocrinologist actually told my husband and grown sons "She LITERALLY cannot handle anymore negativity or toxicity and if you all don't help alleviate her stress, you're gonna lose her....." So, he moved us to the country away from family and friends and seems to have changed a lot, but i still see remnants of his old self. I cannot determine if he really DID change, or if he changed his tactics? All i know is that i went gray rock for a while and won't let him touch me sexually because i don't have those feelings anymore after 25 years. This scares me?
OMG!!! That happened to me by my mother. She even got others to say those things to me too! I would never try to be me because "there was something wrong with me." THANK YOU for outlining this! I was able to pull myself out (before Stage 7) and I am no contact with my mother and father (he enabled/enables her so I had to cut him out too). I have a question though...Why/how did she become this way in the first place? and Why did she choose me over my younger brother (golden child) or younger sister (I think she's the forgotten child)?
Narcacism is formed from neglect, abuse, and sometimes over spoiling and indulging, and so it's a childhood response to trauma, so adult narcs most likely had a narcissistic parent, and narc parents pit kids against eachother and everything in the narcs life exists to please them or make them look better, so they think they are there for there gain, so they look and feel better, because they have non existent self esteem and worth, it's so sad that any parent would treat their children that way, and your father is an enabler, also its definitely best to go no contact if the situation was toxic to you, and I'm sorry to hear about your experience as a child
My ex was "helping" me in the beginning, by yelling for hours about how men and women can't be friends. This came about initially because we were out to dinner and I mentioned I'm going to the range with my buddy that Saturday and he lost it in the middle of the restaurant. Said he doesn't want to hear about "other" men while we're together. It was so bizarre to me. My buddy of 6 years, no attraction whatsoever. He said I'm probably the reason my good buddy's marriage is deteriorating, because we go to the gun range and Starbucks once every few months and his wife is probably resentful and that's why she cheats. He told me I won't be going to hang out with my buddy while we're together and that he's just trying to help me understand male female dynamics. He said eventually something will always happen (sexually) and that if he's ever friends with a woman I should be worried. Then fast forward a couple months into the relationship, he'd use him showing other women attention to try and get a rise out of me, with the understanding men and women can't be friends, and he was talking to, texting, spending time with a woman while he was mad at me. Then when I'd call him out, he'd tell me I'm acting like a psycho (I was just talking...) and jealous, and that I need to let it go and move forward. No matter what mind game he played with me, and it was always something, he'd twist things around to where I forgot what the hell we were talking about or what my point even was. If I showed anger or sadness, he'd call it female emotions and invalidate me having a valid concern or observation. God typing that just makes me angry all over again.
They pick at you piece by piece, gotta be on guard all the time around them. Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries. The ex would say to me that my friends weren’t good for me and that they didn’t act like they cared about me. Hero complex is a big RED FLAG! We are a year out from divorce and he has continually reached out to talk and heal the way things ended, mind you he was engaged only a few months after our divorce
Wow, Thank you. Please talk more about this and make more examples. Please show use to spot this when it is happening and show what to do about it. Best wishes
When confronted, my Mom always said,”I didn’t say that, you must have heard wrong”. She always compared me with my close friends. She also targeted my weaknesses. She would comment to my friends how weak and can easily get sick and cannot do my house hold chores. The way she says is very very acceptable or compelling. Getting respect from friends was very difficult. She did the same with my in laws. I heard her talk to my husband. That was the first time I questioned myself silently, Why would she do this? After this my Husband changed. It was arranged marriage and I lost his respect. It took several years to get him around.
My covert comes right out and tells me I’m crazy,nuts. I’m in group therapy she refuses to go. Then tells me I don’t see that I’m crazy. But, she does!! This is my wife by the way.
I was just wondering about the connection to gang stalking. I scrilled down and here you are.This is straight up spiritual warfare .what a reveletion, thanks.
Why does this remind me of my tennis coach. The other teammates would pick on me, and if I said anything back she would start yelling at me. She then told my mother that I didn't know how to take constructive criticism.
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Thank God he save me from this destructive situation... All these gaslight tactics I saw right through and finally caught him out cheating, what a aweful demonic situation
My mother. My childhood. Took me about 40 years to figure it out, then I distanced myself (moved 730 km away). And started to figure out how to be calm, and happy.
me too, to my father.
Both mother, father and siblings were narcissists. Covert and overt.
Me too. Took several years to understand Mom.
The purpose of *every moment* in your life is to *enjoy* it, not to waste the precious limited number of days you have on this Earth around people who have revealed themselves by their engaging in established consistent behavioral patterns that are toxic, manipulative and destructive -- people who *do not* care about you or have your best interests in mind. *NEVER* forget this!
They are very smart and use the facade to lock you in to a fake romance. I heard her just say female covert narcissist. I date one. It was by my relationship with Christ I was able to have a shield and to see on round 2 what was there. I almost sent her a photo of burning bridge. I insteed sent a photo of the cross and told her the master therapist can fix her,
Doug
Some ppl are raised by narcissists, and that's all they know, also there's still taboo about speaking badly about one's parents which makes it eclven harder...
Well said! Thank you!!!!!
Amen very manipulative
Bravo from Australia
We thought we were giving our *heart* , to a *soulmate* . But, we were actually giving our heart to a *meat grinder* ....
so true
That resonates with me. That's how my heart felt towards the end 💔
I'm married to one of these things (a narcissist) and I'm so drained and the sad thing is that I said to myself years ago that all these trials and tribulations people go through and that it will never happen to me because I'm fully aware and I'll be able to see it coming. ..BOY WAS I WRONG!
So here's one for ya.......
~We thought we were giving our heart to our soulmate but actually we were giving our soul to a demon !
@@bumblebee0369 Now that's the *truth* ....
And just left to rot
1. Set you up to have a warped narrative (that something is wrong with you; internalized).
2. Repetition (More to be your best; never enough always on defense - .
3. . Accusing of starting trouble, back down from standing your ground)
4. Worn down trying to prove yourself; met with denial and it's your fault.(confusing) lose touch with trusting yourself
5. Hurt and Rescue - provoke anxiety and then give tiny bit of care - inflict mental anguish - codependent
6. False hope/trauma bonding. Victim about to leave, the abuser shows remorse, and gets them back,
7. Loss of complete control. Toxic person is in charge of everything, your thoughts, activity, money. Eggshells.
Was a victim of gaslighting for years!!!!! and I never knew!!!!!
The two final stages are by far the most scariest life experiences I've ever had. Thinking back on it now still gives me the chills. It's really hard to comprehend how someone can put another person in such a confused state and twist the reality to their liking. Thank you Michele for a awesome video! I think everyone in a realtionship with a narcissist should see this.
One thing I also observe is that they not only gaslight in a systematic and step by step way but also juggle between these stages.
I experience all stages of gaslighting and when I start seeing their abuse and getting free from their control they again start gaslighting from second last stage i.e showing remorse and willingness to change and making the relationship better which is just another attempt to gaslight. They are never going to change.
Richard Alston exactly. I hope to buy it someday.
Yep. The stages and cycles are intermittent. That’s yet another way that they keep you on you walking on eggshells. It’s all designed to make you feel insane. Their erratic behavior, their inability to be consistent on any level, their insistence on claiming THEY’RE perfect angelic saviors… it’s ALL systematic and VERY purposeful.
Exactly. They are always switching how they gaslight, but never stop gaslighting and are never authentic, so no real change occurs. It's a house of cards.
He would tell me for years “ you know what’s wrong with you?” Now he tells me “ why do you always want to be or start drama?”. I feel so much anxiety every time I see him. He will start verbal fights and then tell me that he loves me everyday. Sometimes I tell him if verbal fights is love how do you treat people you hate? I’m always walking on eggshells around him.He has caught me watching these videos and he tells me that lady doesn’t know crap! Why do you waist your time watching that crap? Then he tells me you know you’re a narcissist!
Girl, RUUUUUNNNNN!!!!
Wow Its sad to hear this, but when narcissists feel threatening they attack!
Yes!!!!! RUUUNNNN!!!!
Leave him, go no contact.
I would have left my abusive family, who has wrought SO much pain and destruction on my life if I’d heard--you can leave them with LOVE. Whenever I heard about cutting off people, that felt mean... and I felt (wrongly) guilty... Now I know, you can leave people in a loving way with a loving and true message in a letter... or create extremely strong boundaries with toxic family-boundaries so strict but with love. These people are very, very SICK, and I feel sorry for them--BUT letting them mistreat you is not good (or morally right) for YOU or for those with narcissistic personality patterns. If I could go back to my 18th birthday, I would go NO CONTACT except for a yearly Christmas letter filled with love.... however I would have to also absolutely HIDE where I was living and change my name. Yes, they are that bad. My mom and dad both have horrific childhoods and let all that sh** run right downhill... sister was the golden child... so I have no real family. If you’re an orphan of narcissism like me, it can be a long road to recognize it/accept it because who wants to have no family????? But it’s better to face this truth-the sooner the better. Michelle, Can you do a video about people who have NO FAMILY whatsoever because the level of abuse/dysfunction isn’t worthy of the word or the trust? I wonder how many orphans of Narcissism there are?
We need to place more importance on emotional intelligence. There can be many wounded parts of us running in the background that we don't even realize.
I've wondered why it's not taught in school. It would be so beneficial to humans individually, as well as society as a whole.
I was cut off from the world and I thought something was wrong with me.😭
You are not alone. The same happened to me.
I grew up knowing something was wrong and I thought it was me but it was the abuse that was wrong.
I feel like walking through life with a narcissist is walking with them in a dark tunnel and you long to be connected to the world but instead you are in this weird boat with someone who you got attached to but changes into a stranger anytime and is very unreliable on an emotional level.
So if that mask falls of you feel so incredible alone.
Disconnected from the normal world of respect and harmony, basic decency plus hurt by that (fake) friend or partner right next to you.
That solitude is worse than being alone in life but free from narcissists toxicity that's for sure.
Me too
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650 I like your description. It's very accurate.
If you are a "people pleaser" you can be taken in by a Cluster B. You can be highly educated with a good self esteem, so you overlook the little jabs and dismiss gaslighting as a personality quirk.
I’m working on my self esteem now in group therapy.
@@mikeackerman1174 It is all about dealing with the roots of your codependency. Was your mother or father narcissistic? The damage they can do to you as a baby is tremendous.
Glad to hear that you are in therapy.
Vampire Slayer I don’t think my parents were narcissist I grew up pretty well Like I had a normal childhood there wasn’t any favoritism or anything like that
@@vampireslayer1989 truer words have never been spoken! I died from being born 6 weeks early due to my dad trying to kill me in utero. The abuse was so horrific to my mother and us. She told me the other day that when i was 6 months old, i was laying in my bassinette and my parents were fighting so much and he had pulled a gun on my mom. She said that i refused to make a sound. I wouldn't even cry. What makes it even sadder is that she did leave my dad, but she abused us and many others around us too. Before the age of 5 i was already a battle worn soldier ... Between all the abuse by many different people and being brutally raped at 4 years old, im not sure if i will EVER recover....
TRUE!
Yes yes yes to every question married thirty years you nailed it. My ex used to get me upset by just being mean spirited he would then calmly sit back and say what's your problem why are you yelling I'm not the one loosing it... you are out of control and over sensitive. Why do you always bring up the past...that never happened. The worse.....your not being very Christan if you can't forget something that happened a year ago. It took a new co worker who read my distress from a bad luncheon date to tell me to look up gas lighting. I found your videos and slowly became assured that I wasn't the forgetfully one...the mess up one. The one with terrible friends and family I should not associate with. I am enjoying little things so much now I'm loving life but it's a hard road because at first I became the bully in my brain to replace him. I was so critical of myself I thought I was ugly and stupid and un lovable. Only self love and these wonderful videos and faith and good family and friends pulled me out of the waves. no contact with my ex for 16 months. Thank you for helping me through this life change!
to go through all possible shades of gaslighting without getting crazy is only possible with a lot of self-control, self-awareness, and a few good people that remind you of who you are. I don´t know why but I took screenshots of chats with her what also helped me to prove what is said and what is not. A repeated broken promise to be there at an appointed time is also some kind of gaslighting especially when they deny to said so came up with lame excuses all the time. A permanent accusation of being angry, sad, negative, lazy, stupid, unattractive, impolite, jealous, crazy, etc. causes a lot of brain fog. They even switch the sense of your statements claiming you to insult, attack, and so on. Gaslighting is an insidious weapon and the damage it can inflict is not to underrate.
"You made me do it" - favourite saying of sociopathic mother.
This is so accurate it’s scary!! I’m so glad I walked away 4.5 years ago after 30.5 years of gaslighting from my ex husband.
I've experienced this in many ways. My mind floods with memories of the different situations and encounters that I've had with toxic people and relationships.
Michele, I would like to bring up something about the reference point that you talked about. Because I was steeped in narcissism since I was a baby, which carried on throughout school into college, at every job, in dating and marriage, etc, I feel like I never really had a reference point to get back to. The strategies for changing that I've learned is like taking a school course on a subject that I would have little-to-no knowledge of; beginning with learning theory (book learning), then learning by doing (like a corresponding lab). I don't know if that makes sense, or not. I just don't think I ever had a reference point, except for believing that I was a born loser. I don't believe that anymore. Maybe my reference point is more like a mirage in a desert, or an illusion. But now I see that belief (born loser) as false. Now I'm moving towards gaining a sense of who I really am. I am a daughter of God, of infinite worth. I am imperfect, but that's okay because I am a work in progress. I have gifts, talents, and purposes to accomplish.
Sending you love and hugs, Michele. I'm so grateful for you! 💖
Same
yeh you so right....the kingdom of the heavens is inside you/me/etc......but if not than how to find this start/reference point...(i dont speak religios wise here, to me this nolige is common and all over the place, but cost me a lot of years whit out religion)
I do relate to this example because I’m always accused instead of my parent taking accountability for their behavior towards me. Instead of changing their attitude to fix the problem, they intentionally make me look like I’m the problem. This video was so helpful. Thank you.
I feel your frustrations as I'm in the same boat. I have a Covert Malignant mother & a Covert Malignant boss. You're definitely not their problem. They're projecting. One thing that I really recommend is to journal. Write down every bizarre dynamic that you encounter along w/ the specifics. Use different color ink & highlighters to help brighten your mindset. This will keep you in your truth. Continue to educate yourself on all things Narcissism. Check out Dr. Ramani & Dr. Les Carter. They have really good content on TH-cam. Hang in there.
I'm sorry. Toxic parents do this. Try to pity them. It's a mental illness they have.
This happened to me for 8years. I’m still healing and I thank God for saving me❤️
I endure 13 years. Im still healing now.
Woman, you are the Narc Whisperer. You have a way to explain so succinctly. This can get a bit confusing sometimes.
To be fair, I think most people exhibit some of these behaviors every great once in awhile. Let's keep letting people know about this disfunction before it becomes "how it is" for everyone. Bless you, woman, and great job rising above this yuck.
I wish that I had known this years ago …. 😢 I have continually fallen into the covert narcissists in my life … their tricks traps and manipulation tactics ….Thank you so much for these videos… they are life changing… 🙏❤️
Thank you for making this video ! I was abused by a diagnosed narcissist and was so stuck in the self blame and the renumerating of the events . He convinced me that I was defective and not worthy . It’s taken years to slowly restore me to the old me
My narc ex-wife did Gaslighting with me and for a while I fell for it, that is until I caught onto her tactics by educating myself by watching narcissist abuse videos like from this channel. Thanks Michele for this video.
Warren C Right, it’s Entirely different once you know what they are doing/their intentions/mind manipulation tactics. Much less internalization. I’m sorry for you though.
Very interesting that you said "the only person who can get through to you is the toxic person"
I was never able to see my mom's abuse for what it was until after she told me "I'm not as nice as you think I am"
This is exactly what happens. You need to hava a reference point, we need to feel comfortable, have clear identity so when you meet a toxic person, you listen to your body and intuition and start feeling emoowered instead of feeling helpless and hopeless. Thank you Michelle.
Well explained. I've been in stage 7 for a while now and I have lost touch with everything. I miss myself. Your videos are always great
💜
LOVE Conquers ALL ; I disagree. Love DOES NOT CONQUER ALL! I was taught in my Catholic upbringing to ALWAYS turn the other cheek, to ALWAYS LOVE & FORGIVE, no matter what & I can tell you that is EXACTLY WHAT the Narcissist is looking for & definitely devours! That type of upbringing is well-entrenched in Catholics along with the belief that Divorce is a sin. People need to be VERY, VERY CAREFUL about passing judgments!
People that tend to put others before themselves are like magnets to narcissists.
This behavior of self sacrifice usually stem from childhood trauma, where their parent(s) and/or caretakers are self absorbed and demand everything to be centered around them.
You need to heal your Inner Child, if this is the case for you.
Look up whatever resource that resonnates with you, but I would recommend Guided Meditations to begin with, and then move on to a more systematic approach with some reading material designed to use a pen and paper, photos of you as a child and other means to reconnect with your inner child.
Otherwise you will continue to neglect yourself and thus remain a magnet to narcissists, upholding this cycle of abuse.
I've never felt more validated by your description of my mother. God bless you❤
You’re so awesome! Thank you for helping us. You’re a beacon of light in a world of darkness.
And, I have a theory that the really malignant narcissists target individuals who are strong, successful and have a mind of their own because then, if they break you, they feel supremely powerful. Fortunately, I knew what all these things were before they started happening so I recognized it.
Because of earth angels like you!
One of my favorite activities is watching movies. My parents and I would bond by watching movies together and quoting them to each other later in conversation.
When I lived with my abusive ex, my video library was largely boxed up and stored in the basement in a room we didn't regularly use. I was made to feel ashamed of not only of picking through my movie collection, but for merely being in the room where that collection was stored. When I was called to fetch something from the basement, I would sometimes sneak a look at that source of passion and entertainment that had been abandoned.
... of course I would get yelled at for lingering too long downstairs...
Thank you for breaking this down. Narcissistic people love 💕 taking your self esteem! - or they try too. I had to build up my self esteem again , won’t ever let some one bury it again. Love your channel Michelle & will sit back & listen & learn more from you 👈🙌☀️
Is that your... Picture... 😂😍😍😅
I've been lied to, decieved, manipulated, like anyone else...the only one in my life who ever gaslit me to the definition was my ex father.
It was disturbing and the first experience where someone was trying to warp my truths and reality.
Its amazing the brashness, like their reality delusion spell they try and cast.
She litterally crushed every single one of my special interest and adopted them, she ended up telling me things I had taught her like she knew better than I did. I didn't really react to it because I don't feel threatened bu someone who knows better than I do and I was so focused on not being the jerk she kept telling me I was that I saw nothing as it was unfolding. I blinded myself by the belief that people could not be this dishonest and manipulative, my own egocentric traits had me thinking I was invincible.
Same here. Its so annoying. Im not alpha and omega but it pisses me so much off when I actualt show her something or she sees my behaviour towards son and after day or two or in extreme cases after couple of hours she acrs same as me and gives me lecture about how wrong Am I.
Mine is the same way. Same feelings as u.
I love to share stuff because when we do we elevate each other but my narc just used me to elevate herself.
Horrible and disgusting behavior. All they do is undermine and (try to) steal anything related to our individual/unique identity.
U got it spot on
This video is waking me up and giving me strength.
Sometimes the gaslighter does another important thing - acts on social level and tells to everyone lies about the target that he/she is crazy and how he's worried about the target
Yeah bro that's me an my mum... She's raised me into a rage state. Now shes like a remote trigger for me. Problem is she puts on her other face so well. I scuggle to hold two faces. Or thou I have a lot of different emotions.
Oh, yes, they enjoy doing that, evil deviant monsters!
WOW, so on point!!! I live this for months and it destroyed me. Never again!!!
Thank you Michele. This is an anxiety and resentment provoking topic but your way of delivery is not triggering those emotions for me.
Wow.. this all happened to me.. I had already been watching vids like this and could start to see what type of relationship I was in. He did the whole 'I am really worried about you' stuff implying I was nuts. So, I began to see a pyschologist and told him so. Boy has he been quiet and very nice ever since. He knows that I am now observing him (and he is textbook narc.. sooo fun to observe) and that I have him worked out. He still comes around as he is using my landlord (a mutual friend) to do stuff for him as he has every tool under the sun.. loving it.
Watching this video has really opened up my eyes. I am on stage 7, and just recently was made aware that the way I have been treated by this person is wrong and abusive. I am focusing on healing and working on myself. I currently can't get away from this person but I can learn about healthy relationships and not fall prey to their manipulation and abuse anymore! Thank you!
An example of this. I had a long relationship with a guy. Over time I realized that I really wasn't accepted by his family of origin. I would try to start a conversation and could tell no one was really interested in what I had to say. I asked him why I wasn't feeling accepted and felt like an outcast. He told me that I didn't talk enough. I.e. It was My fault I couldn't make them like me. Rid of that mooch because I finally realized he enjoyed watching me Beg and squirm. It will leave you feeling raw. Our narc parents set us up for this treatment. And I truly believe that they were nothing short of evil.
You described it very well, and freely. I shall tell you what was most painful for me : to realize it's my own parent who did to me what to enemies would be done.
Michelle I just personally want to say thank you. I think you are beautiful in the way are education people on this form of abuse. Some of us are so clueless and blind until we see stuff like this. Stuff that opens our eyes up to the truth and the hurt that has fallen on us. I send my love your way thank you for your videos!!
Wow, this is so accurate about parenting style...
Thank you for your work!!
Something about the examples you give through real life scenarios (that I’ve all been through), really has brought things to light for me & is helping me gather the strength to leave for good.
He constantly tells me that I’m not a good person and points out all “my” flaws. When I say “why are you the only person in my life who thinks this way about me?” He says “maybe they just haven’t told you”
I think trust in a relationship is overrated. When my ex-husband started getting frequent night calls, I would ask and he would just wave off those calls as unimportant. At a time I could take no more of his lies, I decided I deserve to know what was going on so I contacted this great hacker Dr Nevetica via cybertherapies@gmail who helped clone his phone. All I did was share his phone number and through a remote link sent to my own phone, I was able to access all of his texts, calls and social media messages (Incoming, outgoing and deleted) which was how I discovered he has been cheating. Thanks to Dr Nevetica, I can now file for divorce.
If you need help or that little bit of closure, I advice you get in touch with Dr Nevetica on cybertherapies@gmail and I hope you find peace of mind just like myself after I discovered the truth.
This is the best explanation of how I felt when I was with my ex. Thank you for this video. It helps me getting an understanding of what happened from an objective perspective. The more I understand about the psychology behind these things the more I can work towards no longer blaming and hating myself for being in the situation I was in.
Incredible .. I’m stuck in quarantine and my brother is doing just that to me.
His partner always tells me he see’s nothing wrong in his behavior towards me, and that makes me feel like he wants to allow it as well. It’s been hell.
I’ve been keeping my distance and not reacting to him at all, but somehow he always finds the way to say I did something wrong, and triangulates me with his partner.
His partner apologized several times saying I’m not the person my brother always wants to portray me as, but then acts like nothing ever happened.
It’s crazy, when I’ve successfully avoided him for long periods of time, he looks tired and depleted, and I always say to myself ... “oh boy, he needs to feed on me cause he’s going to snap”. That’s exactly when he figures out how to come at me, and then he looks better for some days.
I feel living with a crazy person, and an accomplice.
Seems like using the "gas" is just a game for the cerebral narc who is perpetually bored. Object constancy, boring. Loyalty, boring. Not lying, boring. Not projecting, boring. Not manipulating, boring. Not causing someone emotional distress, boring. Not abusing every societal norm, boring. Not idealizing, triangulating & discarding, yep....boring. Like riding a bike, you wont forget to put your foot down before you fall (for it again). I really liked this vlog. It's amazing what the right person can convey in a few minutes.
Brad McEwen , it is not just a game. They want to feel important and powerful. They do it by constructing a game as to win, and the prize is power over the life of another human being.
@@kofeaclarrinfea9877 Agree for sure. Hindsight clarity realizing disorder comes cleverly disguised. Covert in public, overt as hell behind closed doors. To them it is no deeper than a game. Dead souls with zero holds of exploitation. It is a window into their malevolent mindset.
Thank you. Finding your content was what started my healing. 7 months ago I went no contact and hated myself. I was at my lowest, and 2019 had already done a number on me due to the exposure to the person that triggered all my fawning, sld/codependency, anxious attachment, abandonment fears etc. I thought breaking contact with them would be the hardest but the months after were. Self harm, screaming and crying and throwing things. I was nothing but anger with myself and immense shame and grief. I'm in an emotional/mental place ive spent my entire life believing I could never ever get to, and this is only the start of healing.
It is so incredibly hard. It's so painful. But it is worth it. Getting to know myself for the first time in 26 years.
You have 1000% hit the nail on the head. This was MY LIFE every day!
Definitely my biological mother, my younger sister and ex "best friend". It'd been a whirlwind of toxic people. I have lost everything. Rock bottom.
Well I dropped out of school in 11th grade so this is going to be nearly impossible... from the age of 16 I've never been independent enough to consider myself ..Free to think about me. Michele made it so clear, that even I understand it. But awareness feels more painful than anything a Narc could do . So you may ask yourself why do I come back to Michele's videos if they're painful? I can't put it to words.. But I can give an example ..Yesterday I laid in the grass looking up at the clouds with sun rays shining through .. my mind was empty .. It took me back to my childhood. Everyday from Sunrise to sunset I would spend at a pond fishing and trying to catch frogs..I was alone..I was happy..That is the feeling I had yesterday looking at the clouds..Free ..hope and excitement of becoming what ever I wanted.. I may make a real fool of myself spilling out my emotions like a 10 year old girl ..But it works ...
You are no fool!!!!!
You are not a fool. That's what abusive ppl put in your head. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It helps everyone going through extreme abuse.
Your awesome😁
How cool to have a moment to be just BLANK. It's nice to hear that you were able to find solace as a child. I think about all us kids who found ways to escape somehow and just marvel at the creative ways we found to do so.
These dynamics rob you of a chance of being a SELF to begin with.
Every day is a new day.
Every day is a chance for salvation.
I think feeling more pain when we first become aware that we were victims of narcissism is normal. Even though it hurts, I too kept turning to more and more videos. I had to learn more, because even though it hurt, and I cried a lot the first few months, it was... Cleansing? Healing? I'm not sure what. Maybe it was validation in the illumination. It was seeing the truth of my past, and present reality. Maybe it's like one of the steps of grief when we realize what we've been through. Anyway, I think the pain passes, at least it seems to be for me. I keep watching videos though because every once in a while my brain takes me down the old guilt path and second guessing myself. The videos keep me on course. Best wishes to you on your healing journey!
Omg!! You've just described my entire childhood,with my mother and father...I was the eldest and the scapegoat child.. also attracted the same type of people growing up...could never understand what was wrong with me...until I went 'no contact' for 3 years now,theres still immense pain which i am processing,but I am finally free...Thank you so much Michele for your channel and amazing work,you are a true lightworker😊
What you said about the personality swap is so spot on please make a video on that. I felt that u had such a quiet confidence before him and then I became the most insecure person I’ve ever met and he become calm and confident like I was. If you already have a video on this let me know.
I've been at stage 7 for years but it seems as if there is a reset button for the entire cycle of all these levels to repeat. Michelle, past 3 years I dont know how I would have handled my very toxic marriage without your wisdom and knowledge. I tell everyone to watch your videos. Those who need your help that is. XOXs Luv!!!
@ Wow, I didnt even give a hint of the madness n your letting me know better. Thank you. A little harsh but needed. Apparently, u have been through some madness yourself. Thanks, it's nice to have someone tell me other than my therapist.
I was at six...had the opportunity to escape...but fell for it...nw am trapped...probably die sane but trapped.
@@mbm3099 it's never too late to leave!!!
@@patriciarainey4497 trying...some day l hope...reaching half a century mark in life...asian country...very unlikely...am sane though...will be fine.
This is an amazing detailed breakdown of how the narcissist steals your sanity. I was at that 7th stage but before i got there my family and i had one good friend who intervened and stood up for me and helped me. I was seeing the toxicity but still couldn't get away from it. I finally realized if i didn't get away this deteriorization of my mental health was going to possibly destroy my career and finances and my life. I made the choice one day to end it, so i blocked everything social media , cell phone. And even though it was the hardest thing i ever had to do , i maintained no contact. I'm at 8 months now and even though i still think of the ex narc, i see things so much more clearly as to how bad and toxic of a situation i was in. I will never go back. It was horrible, a sin to what i had to deal with. Nobody ever should have to go through that.
Thank you so much for this video! Every single thing you have mentioned rings true for me! I feel vindicated in knowing that it really wasn't me all this time. I wasn't the one who was causing problems or the one who was always to blame even though they still try to accuse me of such things. Please make a video on how to get to know yourself again after distancing yourself from toxic families like this. I have no idea who I am anymore. It is disturbing. I try to find joy in things and it is so difficult and bizarre because I've been on the defensive mode and blocking the pain for so long that I have lost touch with myself and the beauty of this world. xoxo
Nailed it! I’m grateful you were able to put it into order!
Thank You. My 48 year old daughter has severely gas lighted me over three years.
YOU ARE SO BRILLIANT!!! thank you , I cannot believe you can "SEE" into this behavior so well!!!!
My narc ex used to gaslight me among other things. However I'm seeing my mother in your examples. She's always gaslighted me, now I can see that. She's even said that I've created a whole alternative reality. Now I can see it clearly and not fall for it.
Is that your picture... 😍😅..?
@@lesleygarvs4640 lol! He's the best thing I got out of my marriage. Thanks.
@@alessandrasaenz72 it s soo pretty!!!💕❤️🤗
@@lesleygarvs4640 thank you very much. ❤️
Thank you Michelle. We have to have a reference point, we have to have our core identity and we have to trust ourselves, we have to take responsibility for our own lives and do not give power over our lives to any outside forces.
Wow, this brought me back to the early dating stage with my husband. I just finished singing with my band at the time and there was an audience question session. Had a fun back and forth, laughing and engaging - really enjoyed myself. Afterwards he said to me, with a straight face, “You play the dingbat quite well.” Made me self conscience, like, did I come across as ditzy? SMDH.
You are brilliant Michele!
This is so helpful.
Thank you Michele. Your explanation made so much sense and I’ve been there before. God bless you and all survivors of narcissist abuse! It’s the real deal! June 1st was national narc awareness day💪🏽❤️🙏🏽
I've experienced alot of gaslighting on and off youtube . Michele thanks for covering these topics ! I was accused of being married , that I was a beta & someone named John slept with my wife ! I was like wtf ?
Kinda same happened with me ! After going no contact he texted me saying that 5 men came into my life in the month of November or December and all have bad intentions towards me they all want to sleep with me and one of them had fair complexion curly hair I was like wtf is that now .. and then he said January was a tough month for you some Astrologer told him and he wants to protect me by texting me in the month of march after two months of January and he said to my mother directly on phone call that I'm sleeping with 5 men atm..
"emotional Munchhausen by proxy." Right on the money.
Thank you so much for all your help and kindness! Your videos have saved my life!
it is all so true (& sad...)....- that's what happens when being with narcissists... But thank you so much for sharing your knowledge, insights with us - it is so helpful & it's bringing so needed understanding & hope*** Thank you, Michele 🙏
Love your work Michelle, when changing careers I moved in with covert N mother (& codep father) out of curiosity of how codependency became a problem in my life. I went on to find great resources like this to understand that and as well as the biggest mistake ever made to rely on them for shelter. The most relevant coaching I have heard for me thank you - fixate on the beach reference point for who I am - strengthen self identity, self love, heal wounds. This is most important day to day because the psychological assault never stops in the broken home even from a mother. Someday soon no contact for sure, your shared experiences here has given me much hope Michelle!
Wow, my husband is not a narc but his mom was a covert narcissist. My husband had gotten very involved in gaslighting me to get me to join in the narcissistic family cult and to avoid having to get involved when his mother inflicted narc abuse on the kids or on me.
I am still figuring all this out because I only realized MIL was a narc a few years ago... Right after she got a stage 4 cancer diagnosis.
She used that diagnosis to her full advantage. Initially I had hoped she would change her ways but no, she did the typical narc thing and got worse.
My poor husband told me he was holding out hope that his mom would take these, her last days, and use them to become the mother she never was to him. It was heartbreaking. She would treat him like absolute crap and then wait several weeks and lure him back in, invite him over or buy us dinner, ect. He fell for it every time, grasping onto that futile hope that she would change. She never did. Just a month and a half before she died she played one more ugly trick on our 12 year old daughter whom MIL was jealous of, leaving my child the only granchild who never got a special handmade gift she made for all the rest of them. Somehow she got away with this cruelty.
My Wife developed a relationship with the Justice if the Peace and Sheriffs Dept. She would secretly call them making up stories so awful it literally caused an investigation. In fact she was able to get Law enforcement to join in her gaslighting campaign. I was framed taken to jail. On the way deputies took me out in the desert and put a gun to my head pulled the trigger to terrify me.
How in the world was she able to pull that off. I don't have a chance.
U r my literal saviour when I raised my heart to my support groups as soon as I asked for support, not have it they shunned me as soon as mentioned what is really going to with me...uving with a Malignant cover narsissist! I'm out I've got nuthin just be and u to keep me sane and alive survival until I can leave.... U have no idea how slowly he got rid of my financial means of escape. Where can I get help and support to escape... For myself and myself.. I'm an artist, a sculptor and photographer and performer and good but I'm disabled... I don't know anymore I am devastated by both my support groups within days of each other left me on my own.... Thank u so much for your beautiful support xxx
EXCELLENT ADVICE.....YOU ARE HELPING PEOPLE TO REALIZE WHAT'S HAPPENING TO THEM BY GETTING THEM TO ANSWER THE QUESTIONS.....ABOUT WHO IS REALLY IN CONTROL...VERY HELPFUL....THANK YOU.
Stage 1: they set you up to have a warped narrative (goal is to get you to think there’s something wrong with you acting like they’re ‘helping you’)
Stage 2&3: repetition. Now nothing you do is right but they’re tryna ‘help you be a better person’ so now you’re trying harder but nothing is enough. You’re constantly on the defense. You still have a good hold on your reality and then you say something about how u feel and instead of responding in a healthy way- they escalate, deny and say stuff like “I’m just trying to help you” “you can’t take criticism”. Not only are they holding firm to the belief that somethings wrong with you, but now they’re accusing you of starting trouble and causing drama. Now you’re trying harder to show them your truth. Since you don’t want to be seen like something you’re not you continue.
Stage 4: you get worn down. You did so much to prove that you’re not what you’re being accused of, but your being met with further invalidation and further denial. They will twist the convo and make it think it’s your fault in a way that it’s scary. By the time you finish the argument you don’t even remember what the original topic was. You start to feel helpless. You start to put so much emphasis on the other person’s point of view and diminishes their own in their own eyes.
Stage 5: they begin their hurt and rescue missions. They will give you severe anxiety and wait until you are absolutely devastated from the hurt and pain, they will rescue you with a tiny brief morsel of care. What they are creating is a co-dependent relationship between you to them. (Like munchhausen by proxy- they will hurt their child and then save their child while they are the ones provoking the illness) when victim is at this stage, it doesn’t matter what anyone says, they can’t get through to you. The only person with the power to get through to you is the toxic person but they use it to hurt you.
Stage 6: false hope. When you finally have one foot out the door, the narcissist will show a morsel of care to make you think that maybe there’s hope. To get you to think that maybe everything will get better.
Stage 7: loss of complete control to the toxic person. At this stage they are in control of everything, your passions your dreams joys, money, everything.
When you wake up are you excited or waking on eggshells? When you think of doing something for yourself that makes you feel good, so you have to hide? Does that person have the ability to control your emotions? Do they have that power? Making you feel like they are in control of your emotions?
Do you feel like not only did you stop being who you were but now you’re slowly taking on their toxic traits and they’re somehow swapping personality’s and showing traits you has in the past.
Swim your ass back away from drifting deeper into that ocean. It’s legit an ocean tho. See yourself through your own eyes instead of how someone wants you to be. That way if you ever meet someone like this again, you will know yourself well enough to not allow yourself to go into that.
You been hurt enough, there’s no reason for you to hurt you ♥️
Thank you. You have confirmed everything that has happened. Answers to your question would be YES. I am divorcing the narc but lockdown and sale of the family home is holding things back. I have successfully slammed the door but he is still grooming my daughters easily because he has cancer. ❤❤
Spot on . Projecting their discomfort on their target. Gas lighting . I get this. Trust yourself. Yes.Hurt n rescue. Breadcrumbs. I am not secured. I'm not safe. IAM who I am ; they're the problem.
Yes. I’ve been through all of this and felt all of that.
After my divorce, i finally I feel at peace with myself. 🙂
Michele, your content is simply amazing! Thank you so much for all these wonderful messages. I absolutely love your channel. 💜🙏
Sometimes, I find myself coming back here, on this channel and on Little Shaman's channel. It's like my fingers have a will of themselves. And now I realise that this is a sign: if I am here, it means that recently I have dealed with a narcissist person.
And now, like a wounded animal, I instinctively go to the river to drink water and look for the herbs to heal myself. When everything is fine in my life, I simply don't find any reason to come back here, and if I do, it's just to search for information to help a friend. But most of the time, when I come back here is because I feel the need to remember how these people's minds work. And I feel the need to remember that I am not crazy.
Thank you Michele for all your videos, I'm stuck in a relationship that is so toxic he does exactly what you talked about ,he gets violent most the time when ever he is called out or ask a question from me and he will turn the focus on me where I totally forget what the heck I ask him and now I'm the one in the wrong . I want out so bad but I don't know how to leave its his house my car and most everything in the house is mine ,but he will not let me leave and if he does he won't allow me to take anything and threatens to destroy everything of mine if I do leave .
Hit the nail on the head with this one Michele!! Thank you :) 🔥
well said and so True Michelle..thanks for makin us survivors realise somthin so imp..i love ur videos..thanks for bein our Life coach..alll our life coaches running ds chanels are beautifull people wth beautifull hearts...
Ur doin a good job..
Stay Blessed🥰
Thank you for this very insightful explanation and for breaking it down specifically in order for those of us who have experienced it to relate! Grateful!
Thank u for helping me to understand after so many years,I was trying to understand why,my perents did what they did.
When someone was rude to me, my husband would say "What did you DO to her"?" as if I caused or deserved the rudeness.
I’m in stage 7, I’ve drifted far away from land, and sadly the only thing/person that can save me is her.
These type of people (narcissist) are the most sweet, great, loving “potential filled people” but their based foundation was ruined early on in life so as depressing as it is, you will only hurt yourself emotionally, mentally and possibly physically the further down the road you go with him/her.. save your sanity and your life .. literally..
I don’t know how much more I can take myself, my mental health has depleted and my back is against the wall and don’t know what to think next. Save yourself - love
Somewhere between cheering and rocking out !
Thank you!🙏
I know I somehow picked up the toxic traits from my abusers something I'm not proud of .
Start meditating! It helps ! Atleast it helped me during difficult times and I hope it does for you as well !
@@niti470 Thank you for your advice Private Private will defiently try that 🙏💗!
Craig M search about vipassna ! and start meditating at home as well ! Takecare ! 🙏🏻
It's kinda like getting fleas. But with enough cleansing of the soul and oh yea, zero contact, your true self returns. Damn narc fleas.
@L EH YES!!! Jesus has been my hero and always will be! I'm not out yet because i am really seeking His Will. Its weird though because my husband was SUCH an a- hole to me for so many years until i developed thryoid cancer and my second endocrinologist actually told my husband and grown sons "She LITERALLY cannot handle anymore negativity or toxicity and if you all don't help alleviate her stress, you're gonna lose her....." So, he moved us to the country away from family and friends and seems to have changed a lot, but i still see remnants of his old self. I cannot determine if he really DID change, or if he changed his tactics? All i know is that i went gray rock for a while and won't let him touch me sexually because i don't have those feelings anymore after 25 years. This scares me?
OMG!!! That happened to me by my mother. She even got others to say those things to me too! I would never try to be me because "there was something wrong with me." THANK YOU for outlining this! I was able to pull myself out (before Stage 7) and I am no contact with my mother and father (he enabled/enables her so I had to cut him out too). I have a question though...Why/how did she become this way in the first place? and Why did she choose me over my younger brother (golden child) or younger sister (I think she's the forgotten child)?
Narcacism is formed from neglect, abuse, and sometimes over spoiling and indulging, and so it's a childhood response to trauma, so adult narcs most likely had a narcissistic parent, and narc parents pit kids against eachother and everything in the narcs life exists to please them or make them look better, so they think they are there for there gain, so they look and feel better, because they have non existent self esteem and worth, it's so sad that any parent would treat their children that way, and your father is an enabler, also its definitely best to go no contact if the situation was toxic to you, and I'm sorry to hear about your experience as a child
Beth Hornick,you deserve better
Thank you. Because of your videos i was able to get out of a very abusive relationship. 3 years on I'm ready to start dating again xxx
My ex was "helping" me in the beginning, by yelling for hours about how men and women can't be friends. This came about initially because we were out to dinner and I mentioned I'm going to the range with my buddy that Saturday and he lost it in the middle of the restaurant. Said he doesn't want to hear about "other" men while we're together. It was so bizarre to me. My buddy of 6 years, no attraction whatsoever. He said I'm probably the reason my good buddy's marriage is deteriorating, because we go to the gun range and Starbucks once every few months and his wife is probably resentful and that's why she cheats. He told me I won't be going to hang out with my buddy while we're together and that he's just trying to help me understand male female dynamics. He said eventually something will always happen (sexually) and that if he's ever friends with a woman I should be worried. Then fast forward a couple months into the relationship, he'd use him showing other women attention to try and get a rise out of me, with the understanding men and women can't be friends, and he was talking to, texting, spending time with a woman while he was mad at me. Then when I'd call him out, he'd tell me I'm acting like a psycho (I was just talking...) and jealous, and that I need to let it go and move forward. No matter what mind game he played with me, and it was always something, he'd twist things around to where I forgot what the hell we were talking about or what my point even was. If I showed anger or sadness, he'd call it female emotions and invalidate me having a valid concern or observation. God typing that just makes me angry all over again.
They pick at you piece by piece, gotta be on guard all the time around them. Boundaries Boundaries Boundaries. The ex would say to me that my friends weren’t good for me and that they didn’t act like they cared about me. Hero complex is a big RED FLAG! We are a year out from divorce and he has continually reached out to talk and heal the way things ended, mind you he was engaged only a few months after our divorce
Wow, Thank you. Please talk more about this and make more examples. Please show use to spot this when it is happening and show what to do about it. Best wishes
When confronted, my Mom always said,”I didn’t say that, you must have heard wrong”.
She always compared me with my close friends.
She also targeted my weaknesses. She would comment to my friends how weak and can easily get sick and cannot do my house hold chores.
The way she says is very very acceptable or compelling. Getting respect from friends was very difficult.
She did the same with my in laws. I heard her talk to my husband. That was the first time I questioned myself silently, Why would she do this?
After this my Husband changed. It was arranged marriage and I lost his respect.
It took several years to get him around.
My covert comes right out and tells me I’m crazy,nuts. I’m in group therapy she refuses to go. Then tells me I don’t see that I’m crazy. But, she does!! This is my wife by the way.
Lucky guy! LOL
Get away from her! Or go gray rock! Live uour life, my friend
Pacis Ndahiro I have 2 kids as well. That’s kinda hard but I’m slowly coming to grips with it.
My spouse, too!
Same with my hubby. I am going to therapy for CPTSD, but he uses this to claim I am crazy when he gaslights, emotionally abused me or values me.
They are paid to stalk you and it don't matter. Do not give them love, sex, convo or a response.
I was just wondering about the connection to gang stalking. I scrilled down and here you are.This is straight up spiritual warfare .what a reveletion, thanks.
Oh wow….
I love your content💛
Why does this remind me of my tennis coach. The other teammates would pick on me, and if I said anything back she would start yelling at me. She then told my mother that I didn't know how to take constructive criticism.
Have been cheated on,but I’m glad darkwebprohack helped me get in my wife's cell phone, what’sapp,fb,ig,Snapchat and I can listen to her calls on my phone even read both recent and deleted messages. You can contact this great hacker on WhatsApp/call/text +17076225057 email darkwebprohack@gmail com
You were their punching bag... 🤽♀️
Better days ahead ✌️❤️
Thank God he save me from this destructive situation... All these gaslight tactics I saw right through and finally caught him out cheating, what a aweful demonic situation
They will also call you delusional! Run!!!!