Sometimes they can see it and sometimes it’s people you’re not in a relationship with but connected to in sone way (like your own family or in laws or even stranger you don’t even know enlisted by those using this method of abuse).
Really good! I googled "coercive control" with my state and the word law. Indeed it is there under domestic violence and child abuse. Very helpful to understand this! The examples were helpful, too. Thank you!
I got sick of my ex husbands control and gaslighting me and i ended up being in a state of hurt and angry that we both ended up being abusive and called it quits. Its taken a couple years of no contact to understand i was accepting breadcrumbs and dealing with his controling behaviors and i just started unraveling 😢
This is an incredibly important video. I hate to say it but it feels like there's now almost too much focus on the obvious forms of abuse. Physical violence, direct threats of violence, direct verbal abuse. But so much abuse happens without any of that stuff. I was in an abusive relationship and she never raised a hand, not her voice. She never even swore at me. But everything you mentioned was present. Consequences, revenge, manipulation, gaslighting. It was awful. In many ways, if she'd been more obviously abusive I'd have got out far sooner.
I was similar. It was others noticing things and pointing it out that made me realise I should have been running from this man - and I would never had the physical abuse happen to me had I done so.
Same here. He never criticized me, yelled or screamed - turns out my now ex had covert behavior so it took me years to figure it out. Had he been violent or yelled and screamed at me, I'd have been out the door the first 5 minutes.
Thank you for trying to shine a light on the "real", not black and white, dynamics of abuse. I'm sure the unjust treatment of "all" the family victims of coercive control is very hard fo you to deal with in your line of work. Thanks for continuing under those circumstances. We need those who really see what's going on working within our broken systems.
Thank you so much for this video. I'm going through therapy after over a decade of coercive control and was struggling to acknowledge that part (the intimidation/breaking stuff around the house and verbal abuse are obvious, but for all the other subtle things, I am still a little in denial I guess). Your explanation is very clear.
Folks really need to talk more about mental and emotional abuse within yhis, when you trust someone with your heart and self and they easily take advatange and want to break you, but wont let you go its a challenge and a devistation too
What really bothers me is that 99% of these relationships and these manipulators are men how is a woman supposed to find a good man? There’s not one out there. I swear I am 65 years old this year and I have ended dating 20 years ago due to being raped twice by a man I have been assaulted forced coerced absolutely manipulated. I have never ever been loved by a man never I’ve been used. I’ve been lied to. I’ve been destroyed emotionally. I’ve been heartbroken. I’ve been left. I don’t know how many times by men who say I love you I love you. I love you. I love you. These words mean nothing to them. There is not a decent kind, loving man out there. They’re never will be at least not for me. They all lie. They all use. They all manipulate they all destroy. I dated many many many many men I married one twice. The second time I left him. I took everything the first time I gave him everything the house the car, the furniture everything I took my cat in my clothes the second time I married him I took everything because the house was six months behind in mortgage payments and about to be foreclosed if I hadn’t come back and tried to make the marriage work again he would’ve lost the house after I got the house payments caught up by myself working two jobs while he sat on his butt and did nothing saying I can’t find a job…. I divorced him and yes, I only married him the second time to get the house back. I cannot tell you how many men have hurt me lied to me used me manipulated me assaulted me and made me feel like I was the problem. I’m a strong, independent, powerful woman in my own right I raised two children alone with no child support. I bought my own house And raised two children to be very strong. Independent adults I live alone and have for the last 20 years, I do not need a man I do not want a man they are useless honestly and truly they are useless. Am I a woman who hates men no, I would love absolutely adore absolutely favor having a good decent, kind, loving man in my life. The problem is there’s not one not on this planet that I’ve never found so I stay alone for the rest of my life. I will die alone. I would rather be alone than be in a relationship where a man wants what I’ve bought what I’ve owned what I’ve worked hard to get just so he can say I’m a man and this is mine like my daughter‘s father did with the house that I got back after the divorce.. he says oh I’ve done the work on this house. You should sign it over to me!!!!😮… arrogance are you kidding me? This is my house. You are not going to get my house simply because you put a window in and put some walls up. You’re out of your mind!!!!! Why are men men so obsessed with controlling women…???? I swear they’re useless.
It's not ok for someone to just "go out" without their spouse or partner if the other partner isn't in the habit of doing the same thing. It's just not.
If partner A is not in the habit of going out without partner B, that absolutely does not mean that partner B should not go out without partner A. 2 different people with different habits and interests, that is OK. Otherwise, that is control
The worst part of it is that people outside of the relationship can’t see it.
Sometimes they can see it and sometimes it’s people you’re not in a relationship with but connected to in sone way (like your own family or in laws or even stranger you don’t even know enlisted by those using this method of abuse).
They’re known as flying monkeys.
yes
💯🎯
Really good! I googled "coercive control" with my state and the word law. Indeed it is there under domestic violence and child abuse. Very helpful to understand this! The examples were helpful, too. Thank you!
Leaving one parent to do all of the household work is damaging. Thank you
I got sick of my ex husbands control and gaslighting me and i ended up being in a state of hurt and angry that we both ended up being abusive and called it quits. Its taken a couple years of no contact to understand i was accepting breadcrumbs and dealing with his controling behaviors and i just started unraveling 😢
This is an incredibly important video. I hate to say it but it feels like there's now almost too much focus on the obvious forms of abuse. Physical violence, direct threats of violence, direct verbal abuse. But so much abuse happens without any of that stuff. I was in an abusive relationship and she never raised a hand, not her voice. She never even swore at me. But everything you mentioned was present. Consequences, revenge, manipulation, gaslighting. It was awful. In many ways, if she'd been more obviously abusive I'd have got out far sooner.
I was similar. It was others noticing things and pointing it out that made me realise I should have been running from this man - and I would never had the physical abuse happen to me had I done so.
Same here. He never criticized me, yelled or screamed - turns out my now ex had covert behavior so it took me years to figure it out. Had he been violent or yelled and screamed at me, I'd have been out the door the first 5 minutes.
Thank you for trying to shine a light on the "real", not black and white, dynamics of abuse. I'm sure the unjust treatment of "all" the family victims of coercive control is very hard fo you to deal with in your line of work. Thanks for continuing under those circumstances. We need those who really see what's going on working within our broken systems.
Thank you
Thank you so much for this video. I'm going through therapy after over a decade of coercive control and was struggling to acknowledge that part (the intimidation/breaking stuff around the house and verbal abuse are obvious, but for all the other subtle things, I am still a little in denial I guess). Your explanation is very clear.
Thank you for the work you do!
I don’t understand why you’re not getting more views ! - I so appreciate your information and you cover it in such a meaningful way.
My father acts in this manner he is a freaking control freak who loves gaslighting and bullying me .
Folks really need to talk more about mental and emotional abuse within yhis, when you trust someone with your heart and self and they easily take advatange and want to break you, but wont let you go its a challenge and a devistation too
What really bothers me is that 99% of these relationships and these manipulators are men how is a woman supposed to find a good man? There’s not one out there. I swear I am 65 years old this year and I have ended dating 20 years ago due to being raped twice by a man I have been assaulted forced coerced absolutely manipulated. I have never ever been loved by a man never I’ve been used. I’ve been lied to. I’ve been destroyed emotionally. I’ve been heartbroken. I’ve been left. I don’t know how many times by men who say I love you I love you. I love you. I love you. These words mean nothing to them. There is not a decent kind, loving man out there. They’re never will be at least not for me. They all lie. They all use. They all manipulate they all destroy. I dated many many many many men I married one twice. The second time I left him. I took everything the first time I gave him everything the house the car, the furniture everything I took my cat in my clothes the second time I married him I took everything because the house was six months behind in mortgage payments and about to be foreclosed if I hadn’t come back and tried to make the marriage work again he would’ve lost the house after I got the house payments caught up by myself working two jobs while he sat on his butt and did nothing saying I can’t find a job…. I divorced him and yes, I only married him the second time to get the house back.
I cannot tell you how many men have hurt me lied to me used me manipulated me assaulted me and made me feel like I was the problem. I’m a strong, independent, powerful woman in my own right I raised two children alone with no child support. I bought my own house And raised two children to be very strong. Independent adults I live alone and have for the last 20 years, I do not need a man I do not want a man they are useless honestly and truly they are useless. Am I a woman who hates men no, I would love absolutely adore absolutely favor having a good decent, kind, loving man in my life. The problem is there’s not one not on this planet that I’ve never found so I stay alone for the rest of my life. I will die alone. I would rather be alone than be in a relationship where a man wants what I’ve bought what I’ve owned what I’ve worked hard to get just so he can say I’m a man and this is mine like my daughter‘s father did with the house that I got back after the divorce.. he says oh I’ve done the work on this house. You should sign it over to me!!!!😮… arrogance are you kidding me? This is my house. You are not going to get my house simply because you put a window in and put some walls up. You’re out of your mind!!!!! Why are men men so obsessed with controlling women…????
I swear they’re useless.
Great Video 👍🙏
mums spouse irish man worrying
she is 82
No control
Are you saying that Johnny Depp loved having the court case?
I am staying single
Yes it is never the victims.fault
🎤🫵🏻❤️👏👏👏
It's not ok for someone to just "go out" without their spouse or partner if the other partner isn't in the habit of doing the same thing.
It's just not.
?
If partner A is not in the habit of going out without partner B, that absolutely does not mean that partner B should not go out without partner A. 2 different people with different habits and interests, that is OK. Otherwise, that is control
what do you mean
That's a controlling mentality little man