WATCH OUT for narcissists who are jealous and envious of you
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Its out of your control but TY for letting us know you Amazing teacher You!
Thanks for letting us know. I am rather gullible and WORKING ON IT 😂
That is so disgusting that people do that
TY for letting us know 🙏
Envious of their own children gets me every single time. I cannot comprehend how that even enters a persons mind.
My twin sister was completely envious of her daughter and me. I don’t get it either as you should cherish your daughter and be proud of her accomplishments and want to celebrate.
The human mind is capable of any evil
When it's about NPD they are just constantly envious all the time. Envy is their personality.
I shit you not I do not doubt narcissists would envy my dog or that toad that lives around the house. Narcissists are envious of everyone and everything this includes scapegoats.
They're just....SICK; there really isn't any other explanation. I'm a MAN, and yet my own MOTHER....has been jealous of me all my adult life! She meddled in my first marriage and not only destroyed my marriage, she destroyed my now-deceased, ex-wife, too. My parents were "dirt poor," and that's how I grew up....in a constant state of lack, so when I met my first wife, her family was very "well-off" financially, although I had no idea about any of that for the first several years, and then we bought new furniture, and I must say, it was beautiful, very traditional with a Mediterranean feel. I was so proud of it because my family had never had anything so nice; when she came over to visit, I proudly showed it to her, and her reaction was one of pure disdain and outright disgust. This was only foreshadowing for what would come later; when we bought our first (and only) house, it was new construction, and this set her off, and it was downhill from there. The marriage eventually failed, thanks to her, and then she TRIED to destroy my second marriage, but she ultimately failed overall; however, she did lasting damage to my in-laws and their once solid family dynamic that lasts to this day. While I had always thought she was a narcissist, it just never occurred to me that she was also jealous. I mean, mothers jealous of their daughters, yes. Fathers perhaps jealous of their sons? Yes, I can see how that might happen....but a mother jealous of her SON, or a father jealous of his daughter?! That's an even deeper sickness with, I think, some sexual overtones as well, the thought of which makes me physically ill, and as I look back, she was also seemingly obsessed with my older brother; always mentioning how his body was developing as a teenager, then into a young man...she was so concerned with his body type and his weight. I remember that even then, as a preteen, it made me sick, because it came off as though she was talking about a lover. I don't know what exactly motivated her, but she truly was and IS....very sick, as far as I'm concerned.
I think a red flag is when you do something noteworthy and they never say anything, they never ever compliment you or even acknowledge you. They don't want to make it obvious that they're jealous but over time, you get the message - the lack of encouragement and support. However, if something goes wrong, they'll be the first to criticise you.
Yes, I agree. My wife and I had good jobs, we traveled and were successful in our careers. No family member EVER asked about or acknowledged any of our achievements. They never asked what we do. They showed zero interest. It's as though what we did never occurred. Yet they would praise someone for making a paper doll! 😂
I think when something goes wrong out of sudden they are really "supportive". They are happy your situation is worse
Yup. They are okay with your success AS LONG AS you aren't MORE SUCCESSFUL than them. They will ALWAYS revel in your failures and misfortunes and even as so far as going the miles to sabotage you!
AGREED! As it has been said many times, "Pay attention to those who don't clap when you win."
In my case, the narc at my job CONSTANTLY compliments everyone. It's part of his charm. He compliments me on my job performance all the time when its absolutely not necessary...but then behind my back he tries to convince everyone i don't do anything. I do not compliment him at all because i honestly can fucking stand the guy and I wish he'd leave me the f alone lol.
It doesn't matter what you do. You can stay home, and they are mad because you don't have a job. You can be successful, and they're jealous. Nothing makes you okay, nothing. Stay long enough and your kids will grow up and treat you the same way. I'm now 60, I've been alone for years. These people ruin your life.....RUN.
There are good people whom you have never met, who would be so happy to know you and treat you like a wonderful person 🎉
Damn you just described my brother. Only if he controls my life and my future is he happy.
@@Bcjsjhfurhs That's what I've been told but I haven't met them. Each time I think I've even just found a friend, they steal from me, lie about me, use me, or endanger me somehow. I have helped many people in my area, people who had nowhere to turn, and it was never enough.
Thank you for your kind comment though, I do appreciate it.
I'm 61. And my mailman is really down to earth retiring in April.. maybe we could be friends?
Yes, exactly this. In fact he will say he prefers you to stay home - then will use that against you later. They are very calculating.
The more awake I become on this subject the more I realize how surrounded I am by these kinds of people . They're everywhere.
EVERYWHERE!!!!!!
@sarcastic
Yes, they are EVERYWHERE. You notice more in older age because your life is stoll going somewhere and theirs is not.
Yes same here. They must’ve seen me coming a mile away. I’m glad I know better now
Thank you! I could hear the critic in my head tell me I was “crazy” and it’s just me for thinking this. Gaslighting has everything scrambled for me. Why is it that SO many people are this miserable that they’re like this?
To be fair, some people are surrounded by narcs and inevitably pick up the behavior, but maybe they themselves are not narcs naturally.
Don’t play small so they can feel tall. You do YOU. ❤
I had to hide everything good about myself from my sadistic narcissist mother otherwise I would pay for it.
@@CityThatCannotBeCaptured in my case,was and is my little sister with a couple of her best friends.
@@CityThatCannotBeCaptured I had the same issue with my mother. I went no contact and am now living my dreams with no guilt. I wish the same for you. 💚
Growing up o always admired my older sister, but she considered me as short, fat, ugly, and dumb ( I was on the honor roll). I saw who she thought I was in the mirror. I was always dieting and my friends said that they didn't understand why because I was the thinnest one in our circle of friends. When someone would say that I was attractive, I didn't believe them. Sometimes we believe lies about ourselves. I gave me heart to Jesus when I was 18 he began to restore my soul (He restoreth my soul. Psalm 23). He continues to make me who he intended me to be. I love people and they like me. I forgive my sister and refuse to be bitter about her rejection of me. She's so miserable that no one wants to be around her. My mother said that she's evil. "One sinner destroys much good." Ecclesiastes 9:18. Don't be bitter, forgive, and be the beautiful soul that you are meant to be. Also remember...kindness makes you beautiful. God bless you.
🎯
My narcisistic divorced mother was very jealous of me and made my teen years the worst. I couldn't wait to get married and went on to marry another narcisist who was also jealous of me! I can honestly say that I have never been loved and I'm 73 years old and burnt out from trying sooo hard to earn it! Dear Dr. Ramani keep on educating the young people so they make better choices. God bless you and your exceptional work. ♥
Idk u but I’m sending u love…u wrote my same life’s story…
Jesus love coverrrs youu forever and ever😢❤
Pour all that beautiful, selfless love into you Alta; no one can ever take it away and you deserve it the most. I know your life, it's mine too but loving myself has been the greatest discovery of my entire life. You can do it.
Same. I am 66.
Sending you love 💕💕💕. I'm 53...same story.
Sometimes it's better off being alone. Life is too short to deal with all this toxicity.
I walked away from a toxic relationship. I’m trying to understand how it’s better to be alone.
@@Starmajor391There's a reason why "It's better to be alone than in bad company" is a common adage!
@@GuitarMatt Absolutley. My emotions clouded me, for family, coworkers, and friends really helped me get through. My better state of mind has brought me to realization that I am in a better place now! Thank you 🙏
Spouse can be jealous too, I thought of retirement around early 20s.. and most people I know have no retirement financially plans
Jealous of our authenticity and ability to be alone and enjoy it..
Jealousy is the one behaviour that stands out the most in my experience with narcissists. If I talk about any success in my life to the narcissist, it is most often met with silence followed by them wanting to talk about something else…..every time!! This behaviour sticks out like a sore thumb, they really can’t hide their envy and their fake happiness is so obvious.
Yeah, and I like what Dr.Carter say about silence that IS communication !! My aunt My husband does this when I talk about some thing and I’m proud of her whenever she doesn’t answer you my mother does the same thing. My husband kept me from having a job by using silence on me disapproving silence and I look at his face because I was trying to work he disapproved because then he can’t rub it in my face that I am a loser and I don’t have a job, they manipulate you till you can’t even work anymore and sabotage you and then they use it to beat you with
I've experienced this all of my life from my sister and my mother. It's gotten to the point where I literally don't tell them anything about my life anymore. It's for the best.
It's a big one. And expressed in a few ways over time
You know, I never ever realized how pathological, how pervasive the NPD jealousy was - until very recently. It would've been SO helpful to have understood this years ago. To think it's an actual tenet of the disorder - well, it makes a huge difference now. (The hurt stays the same, unfortunately.)
yes absolutely amen
“They want you to feel as bad as they do.” If narcissism had to be explained in one sentence…. THAT’S the sentence. Thank you, Dr. Ramani. 👏🏾👏🏾
My family always had the saying (especially about my stepdad), "Misery loves company," and it's rang true the entirety of my life that's for sure!
My sister is a complete narcissist. She does NOT feel bad about herself.
Nooooo, they want you to feel worse than they do and they have no conscience whatsoever.
know your life is not a sin and you are NOT a sinner
So true.
A very wise woman once told me "Never envy anyone, because you can't just have the part you envy, but you have to take all it. Once you see all of their life, you most likely see it has just as much pain as your own."
That is great advice, and I do not understand why more people don't understand it.
Very true 💯🙏
Wise words!
So true and I’m so glad I learned this. Thank you
If only more people understood that. My mother envied me, but never saw the pain...trials...the sacrifices...and the personal demons I fought with...No One has a pain-free life!
A jealous parent is the most darkest most painful and irritating situation to grow up in. When i was a kid i always thought. "Who tf do i trust?" *shrug*
No one
That is what I am going through now. Except my parent is also an alcoholic and drug user.
dont lose hope...sure just like in cain and abel...betrayal strings through some people even if they are family...but u can trust some people. there is a light somewhere.
The thing with Narcissists is they aren't just jealous of your beauty, intelligence, talent, popularity and accomplishments. They can be jealous of the most random things. A $2 coupon from CVS is enough to make them jealous and they will spend the next 10 years plotting revenge on you.
Lol
Ha, funny!
Lol @ plotting revenge over a $2 coupon, but you're right.
L. M. A. O. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Although it is absolutely true!!
🤣🤣🤣 facts
There is also jealousy that takes the form of pleasure in someone else's misfortune.
Schadenfreude!
And it makes it worse when they go out of their way to provoke such misfortune.
Got a job in an exciting new field, crickets. Finished making a song, silence. Got married, too busy to attend. My sister died, suddenly available and sympathetic
my mom would set me up for misfortune
So basically kind of like a sadist?
I worked at a bank, and through education and hard work, got a promotion, and a name plate with title on my desk. My then BF threw a fit over the nameplate of all things, and in a whiny mocking voice, began to call me by my name and title which was on this nameplate. Big warning sign. I ended it.
Smart move! ✊
Omg😮. Glad u ended it.
Jealousy mocking stalkers are the worst with their jealousy rage lies 😂
My mother was a miserable covert narc who never had a good word to say about anybody, and, to my shame, I grew up imitating a lot of her mean-spirited snark - I interpreted it as a sarcastic sense of humour. Once I grew up and realised just how nasty and negative she was, I also realised how unhappy this mindset made me ("petty, sensitive, and unkind", thank you Doctor R!) I worked on changing it. It's not a comfortable process, but a necessary one.
Same, it was like she programmed me from toddler to say the mean things she wouldn't say in front of others and wreck her mask, but raged on about in private to me, only child to divorced Narc mother. Of course people thought I was the nasty child and she the martyr mother.
You're amazing for noticing it and transcending it! 💪Not many get there!
Ha! Same here! It took new friends to show me how negative I was
@@kikataye6293 congrats for hearing what your friends said, it makes all the difference ❤
Sounds like my sister.
Jealous people are extremely insecure with themselves. They will say and do anything to bring you down because they want you to feel as bad as they do.
That sums it up
But what I don’t get is why not think of love? Of connection and of God?
It isn’t about pain at all. I truly believe dangerous envy comes from a more benign brain map as sociopathy or serial killers. They aren’t envious, they want to harm you.
& God will punish such persons
Truth!
God will punish such Plp huh well I hope he does it for us bc it’s bad if we do it
When my narcissistic mother felt jealous of me, she would ignore, minimize or complain about my achievements (and same for my sister). As a young person, I didn’t understand what was happening. Instead, I internalized the idea that I was inadequate and unlovable. It took a lot of therapy, life experience and learning about narcissism (including from this channel) to undo that damage.
Even today, my mother is very careful never to show me any interest in my passions and pursuits or those of my sister, even though I know from second-hand report that she brags about us to other people when we are not around. It’s a weird paradox that she derives second-hand status from us and yet can’t give us any credit to our faces.
My mom is the same way. As far as the second part of your post, She is trying to seem like she is that loving mother so in others eyes she doesn’t look like a narcissist. It’s a tactic used so if you reach out to someone about her behaviour they may not believe you. It’s messed up.
This is a spot on description
This is my family. They keep showing of their children success to the neighboor and family. I get to a point that I am sick and tired meeting people who know my entire life without I even know them. While I need my family, they are refusing to help and ensure no one knows because it is shamefull.
True.. maybe its the ego
Same thing happened and still happening to me and my sister. Our mother is very jealous of us. Mostly to my sister because she succeeded in life.
It is known that all narcissists are not able to feel joy for other people, they can't stand to see happy people, they are always judgy and believe that they deserve all that others have and experience good.
Yep, my narcissist parent said she was jealous of me when I was a baby because my dad loved me more than he loved her- jealous of A BABY!
It is rare for her to be so self aware or so honest. My mother will take that to her grave. But I already know.
Your own mother was jealous of you when you where baby holy crap that's a demon
Sick.
The jealousy is also shown when the narcissist is unable to recognize, accept or praise the accomplishments of others. Their silence is a way to diminish the value of someone else's success
Facts! They hate it when you are successful.
That silence is awful. I got the impression that my creative efforts were too embarrassing, too bad for comment. That was then. Nowadays anybody who doesn't comment on my art is sidelined. I know there is jealousy. I prefer to mix with those who celebrate creativity.
I remember getting promoted to senior leadership at a Fortune 500 company and my ex saying "promotions must be easy at your company." Their jealousy is amazing. Be proud of your accomplishments and watch out for these toxic types.
I totally empathize with your experience, which is similar to mine. My sister was so jealous that I was hired by a Fortune 500 corporation. She told me, "Oh. you must have a friend who works there. " I tried to get a job there, but they didn't select me. Then she said, "Were you dressed provocatively?"
I started the job as a contractor and was hired full-time. It really made her angry that I was hired and she wasn't. She's like fifteen years older than me. 🙄
WOW!
@@indiesindie1984 when it's your sister it's terrible. Everyone else is dead and I thought she'd have grown up by now. Nope. She is more covertly sadistic than ever. No contact, it's all you can do. They only twist words, project, backstab, smear and blame if you try.
Wow, even if it were true what she was saying, and I don't think it is, she just completely made an ass of herself instead of one out of you. (Some of these weirdos think that they're being "super cool' machvellian like or "just telling it like it" is or whatever.)
@@indiesindie1984 I had a mother who was jealous of me! Never knew something like that was possible. It really is a disease.
Has anyone else experienced a narcissists' jealousy as punishing others for interacting with you?
Yep. Their 'enemies' must also be yours and god help anyone who doesn't fall in line and shun her shamed ones!
Yep❤
Absolutely! It's disgusting to witness.
Oh yes, they don't want you feeling good about yourself. They tell lies about you to others without you knowing so you feel bad and rely on them. Control
Absolutely. If you socialize with another friend they get jealous and you get the silent treatment. If someone they don't like talks to you God forbid. I ended the friendship and blocked them everywhere.
There isn't anything worse than significant other being envious, jealous of his own wife. I wanted to believe we were a team!
Think of King Charles and DI.
Wow..
I'm a good wife I've been going through this for 15 years. It's mind boggling the jealous treatment I received from this man on a regular
@@msbrendasnowI don’t think Charles was jealous of Diana. His mommy forced him to marry her. He never wanted to be with her. He was in love with someone else. He probably had zero jealousy of or for her.
It happened to me with female family members and friends. I cut them off. Now if I sniff a hint of jealousy from women, I ghost them instantly. What happened was that because of my family's member jealousy of me, I grew up thinking very little about myself, and couldn't justify all the abuse coming from women. In my late 20's I realised what is truly going on and now I am immune
Ya! Congrats! Women are very mean for sure.
I am the same. I don't want anything to do with jealous people. I cut them off.
This has been a problem of mine all my life! Jeslous Narcissistic eomen nearly ruined my life. I run if feel someone is jealous of me.
I'm feeling in my guts that my narcissistic mother is jealous of me. All because of she uses the services of sorcerers, but I don’t. Because in Islam, using the services of sorcerers is a great sin.
I will never, ever forget watching a good friend's reaction when I excitedly revealed that the terminal illness I had been diagnosed with, was actually misdiagnosed and relatively easy to cure. An instant flash of disappointment.
Oooh now that’s bloody evil.
Wow! I hope this "good friend" is now an ex-friend.
That is appalling.
😮
They love the suffering of others, it gives them a thrill and exhilaration. That's how deeply sadistic and evil they really are.
One of my favorite jealous narcissist comments “It must be nice to be so lucky and to be born into such a privileged life (that’s why you’re able to achieve what you’ve achieved)”. There was always a total disregard or diminishing of the hard work I did. He always gave credit to something as random as “luck”, never my efforts.
My mother says this stuff to me!
@@Silence_between_waves Just because someone had great achievements, doesn't mean they weren't abused and messed up.
My NM did the samething.
Yea and they try to put a stomp to your progress like a bunch of demons
U too??
My sister went to college. Told me on the way id be broke and my kids would be begging on her porch. Im 3 yrs older and a mechanic/bodyman.. 25 yrs later shes in a 20 ft wide row home and I bought a house on 5 acres 6 yrs ago. Worked 100 hrs a week to build my brand while she talked. She has no kids either. I have 3. Let them be mad, cut them off. Told me I wasnt buying a home and at 45 she cant obtain a mortgage. Your accomplishments are their dreams. They hate you. Cut them off at the first sign of jealousy. Cut my mom off too. Theyre a 2 headed snake.
I had to tell my narcissistic mother today that if she didn't stop trying to gaslight me, that I will file for a protection from abuse. My brother and I are in our 30's and finally can see her truest form. I want no part of it. I have more than enough complex PTSD. She can sit with her denial, gas lighting, jealousy and deal with her lies. Alone. Just like I had to. Alone. Because there's no soul inside of her. Today, I stood up to the devil.
Amen
You absolutely did
Wow, that was hard, for sure, and the best thing you can do for yourself! WTG!!!!
😢
Good for you! Isn't it liberating? I had to do the same with my father. Hope you are well.
"Radical acceptance" It just hit me that Radical acceptance includes accepting that you will be happier living without people who hate, maybe despise you. You can choose
They won’t fuck off lmao
I do the "Serenity Prayer" to keep my emotions clear. Sometimes, I shorten it to "Help" It works.
I used to be jealous of anyone else having a good experience of any kind before I finally realized it was just a bad habit learned from my covert narcissistic mother. After my AHA! moment, I was able to stop feeling the petty jealousy and start celebrating wins for friends, family and strangers! It’s not 100% yet, but it’s close! 🎉
I experienced that with my ex best friend who’s a covert vulnerable narc. After she left my life, I didn’t feel that way towards other people. I realized I had allowed her too much influence over myself and my life
@@AmbyJeans I’m glad you got away from her!
@margaret
Kudos to you.
I had a college classmate - this was over 30 years ago - whom I disconnected for things that she and her mother did. Learned 2-3 years ago, when reconnected with her - she only reconnected to do one-upping talks, of course with fabrications, AND WOULD NOT QUIT and only got worse BY EVEN CLAIMING to be related to a powerful man as her mother's cousin.
I eventually came to realize her MALICIOUS ENVY.
I feel lucky that her mother and she did not try to harm me. Would probably have poisoned me if they knew how different our lices would have diverged.
Very Dangerous people.
@@amandaa3713 I'm so glad you escaped them!
Same
Oh, yes. They will go for vengeance. They get extremely mean.
A Jealous Narcissist can be an Extremely Dangerous Individual. I Know this from firsthand Experience. My Heart goes Out to AnyOne on the destructive Path of a Very Dangerous Jealous Narc
I agree about the danger. especially when she acts clueless 🙄
Insecure / scared persons are almost by definition potentially dangerous. And this applies to nearly ALL narcs ...
@@MissOne I'm familiar with the clueless act. 💙🙏🏻
My younger brother has gone to the extent of setting someone else up as the bad guy to keep himself in the limelight of being the good ol boy everyone can trust…he’s broken into my home and stolen every valuable item he could and deleted all of my family photos of my sons as they grew up..,all gone…cuz his girlfriend was cheating on him and somehow it’s my fault she was cheating on him…then my mother has me blamed for him being a junkie and shooting up lol….when I’m dead set against it and have ended friendships over finding out they were doing the shit…I’m the scapegoat…
I'm convinced jealousy was a symptom of my mother's narcissistic hatred of me.
Jill Klausen .....and I was honestly relieved when my mother 'transitioned' - I feel ya!!
Same, @@GoldienOC. I don't even miss her a little bit. ❤️
My husband is SO SO ENVIOUS of my looks and my ability to fit into any group of people. Much to his dismay, I am physically beautiful and charismatic. I have been yellow/grey rock with him for the last 15 years, and have a beautiful happy life IN SPITE of him. I took my power back and keep it to myself. And oh yes! When I call him on his jealousy of other peoples’ success, he gets triggered and all pissed. 😂😂😂 Imagine being that much of a loser, that you can’t be happy for someone else.
The narcissistic friend wants us to envy her but, we don’t!
Another problem with narcissistic jelousy is that I barely even know why they're so jelous half of the time. Sure, they're deeply insecure, but I don't know how they can be that envious or jelous of other people.
I struggled to figure that out too, for years! But, I think the answer is that they are jealous of your joy and your positivity and light. They see your are emotionally healthier and happier and it angers them that they aren't as well, so they want to bring you down.
One of my neighbors was envious of my beat up swollen knees because he thought I had "super soldier implants" even though he saw me limping around with these "super soldier knees". 😂
What's so odd about it is, some of these folks are far more educated and prosperous than am I. It doesn't make sense to me.
Me too 🤷♀️
@@luvsunshine4825 ok, that makes sense 👍
My narcissistic mother was so destructive toward me throughout my whole life. She felt like a frenemy sabotaging me on purpose, but of course no one will believe me if I say it’s happening. Why would a mother do that? She’s always jealous of other women and cuts them down or is so disgustingly gleeful when something horrible happens to another woman like divorce. I’ve estranged myself from her almost entirely by moving far away and never seeing her. I still have surface level phone conversations and meeting for lunch or dinner. She takes the little info she learns about me to spread hurtful rumors about me to the rest of our toxic family who enables my mother. I’m tempted to go no contact for the rest of our lives. She’s such a negative force in my emotional health.
Update: I just told my mom I’m cancelling her visit to me here in California with my Step Dad. I didn’t explain why because they already know I don’t like their toxic invalidating behavior. Of course my mom and step dad will pretend they don’t know and that they are a victim to make me feel guilty. I don’t care anymore. I’m done.
And if you are having a difficult day or a bad thing, are happening that’s when I would get sympathy from my mother because I was down and she was up. It made her feel better that I was having a problem I mean that’s sick that’s not a mother
Well done for cancelling their trip to come sabotage your peace
Thank you, T. I’m expecting a long email from her that looks like a word soup tantrum. That’s fine if she wants to tell me how horrible I am for going no contact. Her thoughts and feelings about me have no value in my life anymore.
I just decided right now while watching this video to go no contact. I’ve learned a lot from Dr. Ramani’s Channel and Medcircle so I know what I need to do now.
Im also recovering from a binge eating addiction and my sobriety means more to me than hanging on to my mom & her enablers in my family.
I’m proud of you.
Standing ovation is what you deserve. Congrats !
They can even murder from jealousy! I’m a Dr. who was stalked by a patient, took my husbands life and blackmailed me following his death. Very complicated case. Perpetrator dressed like me and mirrored my personality. Still recovering after eight years. Your videos have helped me immensely. I share your work on my podcasts, thank-you!
🙏🏽
Dear me sounds horrific, take care.
So sorry for your loss and what you 've been through.
That is absolutely horrifying, I hope you will be ok
Yes jealousy is murder. Complete assassination of image and character.
Some will not vocalize it but their attitude will show they are envious.
💯
"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet".
~ Helen Keller ~
then your feet get frostbit and fall of "shrugs"
Narcissists are jealous of anything! They have to be the center of attention! Wedding Graduation Birthday etc-they have to bring attention back to the narcissist!
Yep! Jealous/envious people ALWAYS have to be the center of attention and need lots of attention! People like that are the absolute WORST!🙄 It's one thing to have HUMAN EMOTIONS of being jealous/envious and KEEP your EMOTIONS under CONTROL without affecting others.
But it's a whole DIFFERENT level when jealous/envious people CANNOT CONTROL their emotions! They will do ANYTHING to bring you down, ruin anything that you have good going on in your life, try to ruin your established relationships (acquaintances, friends, family, co-workers, etc.), they don't want you getting close or connecting with other people, and if you are down jealous/envious people will do WHATEVER they can to keep you down!🙄 It's sickening and disgusting to see how far some people that are jealous/envious will go to ruin others success or anything that they have going on that don't involved them being that center of attention!🤦🏽♀️
Yes Martin it's always about attention for them,hey look at me look at me.
I am SO tired of sharing my successes with my Dad, only to be met with that empty, flat "oh, ok." He just can't be happy and celebrate me, no matter how well I do! I really need to stop sharing anything personal with him at all
After I told my ex-friend, who was very narcissistic, about my new job, she immediately asked, "Do you think you're ready for that?" I am grateful I did the work to be able to start walking away from these types of dynamics
My mother told me that. Last time I told her about a decent professional offer.
I won an academic medal in post secondary. Phoned my mom to tell her. She says "Well, don't tell your sister. I'll break the news to her myself later". It's like I was telling them I had a fatal disease. They were both narcs.
Lol, you’re not alone! btw, congrats on your achievement
Congratulations! You deserve to shine as much as the medal. I am sorry you had such a negative experience from people you care about. Plenty of others surely recognize your hard work. Stay true to you and go for your dreams. Wishing you all the very best for the future.
Clinical narcissists will like Alex jones criminally illegally mutilate every single thing you do even if you are fighting disease they will dangerously gossip behind your back that it is made up even if your dr is on the net they are truly universally toxic & criminal
Same here. Every achievement was belittled or not to be spoken of because I was not allowed to outshine my sibling. Others appreciate us more than our own parent.
@@wayneelliott1180 +1
It sucks when your own father is jealous of you and stifles you to prevent your success
Want you to be successful so he looks good but doesn't won't you to be successful because he'll look bad. 🥴
@@dakoderii4221 Exactly!!😞Story of my life with my narc family!!! The dichotomy!! Oh the confusing, duplicitous dichotomy of it all!!😭😭😭💥💥💢💢🤕🤕🤕🤕😩😩😩😵😵😵😵
Same for me albert
I agree .. this sucks ..
As was my father also.
They get upset when lose (eg. playing a chess game), like to compare and compete, and enjoy setting me up for failure. They are so judging but denies it. Very sad when I discovered what is happening...
Jealously is rottenness.
Some are obvious, others sneaky and slow term controlling.
I treat it like a joke as we are all different.
I am sorry for ones going through it
That is such a good way to determine whether somebody's a narcissist when you're dating them. Tell them about your successes and see how they react to it 😀
Clever!
I think a narcissist could praise you in the moment or appreciate your accomplishments in the moment - especially while dating. its later on that it might come out. just a thought, as most people are on good behavior at start of dating.
During the live bombing phase you could brag about your golf game and she’ll be all over you like Tiger Words.
Looking back on the nex, I did a couple of qualifications and he didn't really acknowledge that although he wasn't dismissive until later on either 🧐
Actually not really, because during the love-bombing stage they praise all of you and brag about all that you are and your accomplishments to others just to show them that they make good choices. They start acting jealous and envious towards you later on after the love-bombing stage is over. Then they bring forth all your negatives to make you feel worthless and will use your negatives to bring you down and get others to turn against you.
Dr Ramani since I found you back in October I have gained the strength, freedom and resolve to end contact with my 89 year old mother who has had me in bondage since I was 12 years old. Finally at 71 years young I can report your steadfast knowledge sharing and understanding of narcissistic persons I am living my best life! My only regret is not finding you sooner!
Bravo for getting free! 👏👏👏You deserve it! Too many people stay stuck due to inappropriate societal expectations of blind devotion to ALL parents. Parents who abused us voided any right to loyalty!
Wishing you much joy in your new freedom! 🌈🍀💐😃❤
SO PROUD OF YOU!!!! I’m so happy you’ve reclaimed your life
For me, getting over of envy became easy when I realized that nothing external in life actually gives us happiness and peace. It is all within.
Yes.... exactly ❤
Before I realised my sister was a narcissist……..I used to wonder where her nasty comments came from ………ie: someone commented on my shiny hair and my sister quickly commented ‘ she dyes it you know ‘ .
Following a lot of counselling ,my eyes where opened into her victimhood and narcissistic ways which had started from teenage years and I realised she still remained in the playground despite becoming an adult and I eventually decided to remove her from my life .
. The backlash of resentment and hate that came my way through her manipulation of the wider family members astonished me .
However years later ……I was eventually was able to to tell her my life was better without her in it …….so why on earth would I ,after all she had done ,invite her back in . The hateful resentment continues but I have moved on .
Understand this no contact for some years and extremely happy...
I will never NEVER have to speak with my mother again and it's the best thing that could absolutely ever happen for me
Have a sister like this as well. Took a LONG while for me to realize it … after mom died the difficult oppositional sister replaced mom’s role and took up with enthusiasm acting out mom’s bad behaviors mimicking her cruelest cringiest traits. Including minimizing and pointedly criticizing me whenever possible-despite looking after myself and successes I’d achieved overcoming a lot of barriers. I do recall my mother verbalizing “I’m not going to have my kid do better than I did…” she was referring to income, and property 😳. I’d taken out student loans and worked my bum off achieving graduate degrees in healthcare-and a mortgage. It was really an unexpected reaction-felt crazy tunes and jolting. After mom died the entitled “Golden Child” sister took it upon herself to exploit the entire extended family’s insecurities about my education and healthcare industry, smearing my motives and reputation complaining about my politics and different “values” eventually getting around to all of them. I was told they were irritated making fun of me for using “too big of words” while trying to interpret and translate mom’s medical needs. I finally realized I needed to just give up and walk away. Being treated that way the first time around by my own mom and envious competitive younger sister had been bad enough. I wasn’t about to relive that toxic experience. I did a lot for all of them including helping my miserable mom who suffered from dementia in her last years. It seemed weird they literally all turned on me or ignore me now. I live alone and heard almost nothing from any of them during the isolation of the pandemic. They have been more under the influence of right wing media and also engaged in fundamentalist religion. I don’t bring that up or argue but they insist on finding a way to confront me, stonewall or make snide comments. Met only few times with a couple sisters who live nearby. One pretends like nothing is wrong. She questions me in an interview manner that feels like “flying monkey.” At the very least she enables the dominant narc sister who has aligned herself with her. In a way it’s a relief. Walking on eggshells, dealing with repetitive stonewalling and opposition was so exhausting.
@@llkellenba wow Laura, this sounds so familiar. Im a nurse and despite helping narcissistic mom, it's a constant struggle. I just found out that my parents are taking my golden child oldest brother and my niece on her final trip to Europe, my moms home. She is from Luxembourg. I grew up not having or knowing any extended family as my dad was a foster kid and my mom's parents passed before I was born and she was estranged from her brother. I went to Europe once with her at 20. I was so hurt to realize she didn't invite me to Europe for this final trip...she is 87...her reason was.." colette, you slept in the last trip and wrecked my day"....omg...that was 33 years ago. God bless them all. Enjoy your trip! Too unreal. Narcissistic until the last breath
@@colettespencer3357 I’m so sorry-that’s mean. Always playing favorites and leaving someone out like a game of musical chairs seems to make them feel mire in control. It keeps people walking on eggshells and competing for their “favor”. It’s such a cruel game they play ❤️🩹
The narc was jealous of me and my ability to heal myself and turn my life into something good. They can't change anything!!!
One thing that puzzled me for years was a conversation my mother had with my high school music teacher. I tried out for a part in "South Pacific" and got a bit part in the chorus. He told my mother how proud he was of me because I seemed to be coming out of my shell. I was always very shy. And my mother said to him, "Well, that won't last. She'll go back into her shell before long." Then she told me about the conversation shortly after they had their exchange. Now I am an older woman and I am looking back over my life and I see how she did everything she could to make me shy. I moved 1,300 miles away when I married and the only time I would be effected by her narky comments was when I would go back home. I slowly came out of my shell. Thank you Dr. Ramani for helping me to finish the task.
The most Dangerous charataristic is Jealousy, combined with a Narcissist its Nuclear !
There is no such a thing a narcissist that doesn't have envy and jealousy because they don't evolve and need to see if that every one around them is on the same boat !
My husband said,”My life didn’t get any better when you got your inheritance.” 7 months later - He’s my ex-husband. I couldn’t believe those words!
Glad you dumped him most narcassist ic men are pure users
The problem could be....
Women don't share their stuff.
Men do.
@@bondjames652 mine didn't? He sure liked my stuff and money though.
@@bondjames652 being an incel is a severe disorder. The thing you think women don’t share isn’t a commodity.
Imagine that. He was expectng you to all in one day manage to produce proof that he is benefiting from your inheritance. My guess is long before what he said that he was acting narcissistic about other things too while at the time leaving you feel afraid that he was about to lose it altogether and then later you were left sometimes wondering why it was taking him so long to return home from only a fishing trip or whatever. If all of us could count the number of times a narcissistic person tried to picked a fight with us so they have more of an excuse to go looking around for their next source of narcissistic supply then more than one of us could maybe end up some day numbering more than all of the grains of sand on every beach in the world. Why would any of us want to anyways because that would take way too long.
My malignant narcissist mother was, and still is at 90, viciously, violently jealous. My stepfather is still not allowed to talk to anyone. He is a hollow, isolated ghost of a man. If a neighbor stops by to chat about the lawn, she will find an excuse to stop the conversation and make him come inside. Then she'll browbeat him and rage at him for hours, days, or weeks about talking to the neighbor so that he never wants to do it again. This went on throughout my childhood and lifetime.
She would claw him when they got back home, if she even suspected that he glanced at some other woman on the street. He had to wear psychological blinders when they were out together. I watched him keep his eyes straight ahead and on the horizon most of the time.
It was horrifying to watch as a child and even worse to endure.
She would not let me or my sister go near my stepfather or get any affection from him, and with some regularity tried to "get rid of me," throwing me down a long flight of stairs. Had I died it could be chalked up to an accident.
It wasn't until I was 16 that I was strong enough to stop her and told her she would never do that to me again or we'd see who was at the bottom of the stairs. She stopped, but at 17, I was thrown out of the house with no warning for an infraction of curfew rules.
Jealousy can be a destructive emotion, and it can be poison in the arsenal of the narcissist.
So sorry you went thru this,💓
Thank you for sharing your story. My narcissistic mom is 75 and I’m realizing that she will never change even when she’s 90. I just went no contact with her today after watching this video. I’ve learned a lot already from Dr. Ramani & Medcircle and I know I need to do this now.
@@CD_RN_Independent_Voter I went no contact quite a while ago. There was a period of grief, but then I realized I was grieving for something I never had. Now my primary feeling about everything is relief.
@@CD_RN_Independent_Voter I'm glad you had the courage to do this.
Dr. Ramani, I've read Christine Ann Lawson's book on borderline mothers, and she gives subtypes of borderlines, with one being "the witch." The name is self explanatory and is very much like a malignant narcissist. Do you think perhaps this is what Diana may have experienced from her mother?
My vulnerable narcissistic ex looked older than his actual age. Numerous times throughout our relationship he would comment on how young I looked for my age. He commented on this so much so that it honestly just started feeling weird rather than flattering. I also felt that in the beginning of the relationship, this "compliment" was said in a positive way - like he had this sense of admiring wonderment about it. As he started devaluing me towards the end of the relationship, what used to feel like a compliment now felt like he was jealous of me looking younger than my age; almost a sense of him being annoyed by it and why couldn't HE look younger than his age.
...the truth is, now I know why he looked so much older than his age. How can it be any other way when he's chosen to move through this world with nothing but jealousy, entitlement, exploitation and deception running through his veins.
I can relate to that whenever noticing that a person's body language and the expression on their face looks so downcast both while they are saying it and while they are then sometimes walking away too. It is a comfusing to people way of communication.
Having a partner that is jealous of you feels so bizarre. I didn't understand narcissism at the time, so I was really confused by getting the silent treatment and passive aggressive digs whenever I had good news. The one I got the most was "Well, it's GREAT everything's going so well for YOU. That must be nice."
Thank you very much for sharing this thought. I recently experienced this. It was so shocking and painful. I feel sad hearing that you've had that experience.
They are ALWAYS victims
My parents were narcissists. They were always jealous of my close relationships with friends. They were jealous of any success I had. Very destructive and even disabling to grow up this way.
Same. Now I live alone. The best choice. So much peace and I can finally be myself. I remember particularly when I turned 18 that my father was yelling at me that friends didn't exist, then my mother started to support what he was saying, then my uncle, all 3 of them being narcissists, what's strange is that they were constantly making arguments, I'm not going into details. I grew up and realized that they are lonely and sad people who have no friends. Stay strong, things settle down.
My mother was jealous of me. She took my college education and 4.0 and told everyone that was her experience. She never even finished high school.
Saw the jealousy and watched the people around me, just ignore the behavior. So happy I not only learnt what to watch for in the work place, but Im no longer there...happy to be free
People say "narcissists are never neurotic.." ALL they are is neurotic like this: I need this I need that, if this doesnt go this way or that person doesnt walk that way DOOM DOOM DOOM. Its painful to even think about them.
its all about being perceived as so and such from the outside town or even strangers who do not care about them.
its not jealousy its FEAR!
A CONSTRUCT SOME SORT OF ALIEN BLUEPRINT Help!!!
My sister cried when I passed my technician board exam I was happy and she was sad. I wasn't expecting her response. Sad
The mistake I made was sharing about my first 6-fig business to my narcissistic and jealous siblings who I thought would be happy for me and celebrate with me because all we talked about as a family is making money, business ownership, and financial independence. They called it a hobby despite having a team of 9 and thousands of customers. What I realize afterwards is that when the family is talking about business ownership they are actually just future faking and family day dreaming. That’s as far any of them got: dreaming or pretending to be business owners to strangers for supply. I’m the only one in the family who actually became an entrepreneur and got pretty good at it and still getting better as there is always something new to learn and ventures to build.
You are awesome and they are jealous and pitiful.
Having money/success makes you see your friends and relatives in a new light, usually a bad one
l would'nt be bothered by wanting their validation. if they call it a hobby good because deep down you know better and you have the money to show for it.Validate yourself
F them. Don't let them rent space in your head!
My family has future faked a lot about businesses and creative projects. I am actively concealing my success because i want to avoid their negativity as long as i possibly can, and just enjoy my happiness in peace
I became concerned when my ex expressed anger that his friend brought a huge sandwich to eat at lunch. His mind didn't understand that that had nothing to do with him and it wasn't a personal attack. I got confused and said "wait you can't get mad at someone for eating a sandwich you can't have!" And his response was "well okay but I don't have to be around it" 😂 bizarre!
I remember I had a friend in college who bought a full pizza and ate it in front of me. She saw me watching her and knew I was hungry and didn’t offer one piece. As she was eating, “I’m sad.” I asked why, and she says all obnoxiously “Because this pizza is about to be gone.” Ofc if would have been rude to ask her for a piece. But one day when I had a small bag of gummy worms and ate them, she tells me “You didn’t bother to offer me one and you know I like those!”
The craziest experience I've ever had with envious people was my ex-neighbor. He saw my swollen knees and thought they were "super soldier implants", even though he could see I could barely walk. He felt entitled to have a pair of them. Delusional and bizarre is an understatement. 🤣
OMG …well he sounds such a delight to be with lol 😮😅
@@dakoderii4221
😮😅🤣🤣
He sounds crazy 😅 who gets jealous of a sandwich!!??!!
This almost my entire family, sadistic, and ridiculously selfish, controlling mean, slanderous behavior! My sibling is still trying to control my inheritance… total BS! 60 years of this abuse, we need attorneys to help us with these scum bags!!! Thank you❣️
At least you are not in denial about it. I hope your life has already improved a lot or is about to improve.
My adopted mother was jealous of me my entire life.. she always tried to stop me from achieving my goals and she constantly made comments to me about my body. She even cut off all of my hair when I was young. As an adult I’ve gone 100% no-contact from her the the toxic family… I also defied her criticism by achieving my goals… ❤️
Well done, I can relate totally to what you said x
wonderful it’s best to cut ties and move on. that way you are not carrying the baggage that would ruin your life career or marriage. I am very much happy for you!
☝🏾
Hell yeah achieved my goals also (happy marriage, wanting to be a stay at home mom, baby on the way) despite my narc mom's constantly talking down about them my whole life. Like it didn't work out for her (she cheated on our dad & then kept threatening to divorce him till he agreed) & therfore it could never possibly work out for us because we would be inevitably led to heartbreak. She'd say "No man will ever really love you", "they will cheat on you with your friend", "marriages don't last", "kids are ungrateful & will ruin your body so no one wants you", "you will see when you have your own children". Dude imagine the de-brainwashing I had to go through to cherish my actually non-toxic healthy relationship with my sweet devoted patient guy. I'm literally living my rebellion of defiance out & it's freaking liberating. And she can f*ck off because this is my life now. 💪
@@Gamer_Mama_0611 Good job! I know it's very painful but you're definitely making the best out of this situation. Stay blessed. 👍
This video has me thinking about Shanquella Robinson. May she rest in peace.
If only she had recognized what she was dealing with before she hopped on a plane to Mexico with her enemies, believing they were friends. 😢
You are so right.
Exactly, she had a light that narcissists were jealous of #Snakes
Yes I thought the same
Evil😢
@@bj733 extremely evil. They even had the nerve to eulogize her on their Facebook accounts. 🤬
be your own cheerleader, that is amazing
Their actions are meant to silence you and take your spark
I am getting back to me!
Very educative. Narcissists are jealous people. They are envious of others and they believe others envy them.
Hey. Lets connect people.
My mother always said I envied her and her golden child. As a young child I kept asking what is it you think I'm jealous of. But never got a response to that. Overtime I realised she hated the fact I got an education as a girl, since she wanted to go and study but never did. She hated I earned the most in my family, since money meant a lot to her and she hated my character because even with her demeaning me, I went on to be strong, assertive and empathetic. It's heart breaking when your own mother behaves like this, till this day it hurts that she never loved me and over the years I had to minimise my achievements so it didn't trigger her jealousy.
My narc dad bought me my first bike for my 5th birthday. I was so happy…the next day he stole it from my school parking lot and returned it to the store, making me believe it was stolen because I didn’t lock it up. Nice
Convert sibling jealousy & envy in adulthood from a married sister who has a family, good house, education etc to a single sister who has a good job & own house but no relationship & no children & has had anxiety since a child. Parents have always just said "oh ignore her you lnow what she's like" & would never say anything to her. She wants to control everyone to the extent of trying to sabotage relationships. Its mind blowing!!!
I’ve sabotaged my success, never again, never again, never again
Same, friend. My worst regret. There's still so much good waiting for us though 💕
This describes my mom. She was so jealous, she would go to any lengths to destroy my integrity and character
Yes, my dad's mom (who raised me after his divorce) was a covert narcissist. She went after me constantly. Her favorite weapon was picking up the phone and slandering me to anyone who would listen. She even slammed me to retail workers when we were shopping. They always had the most horrified expressions on their faces, like "does she not realize she's RIGHT there!?" You could tell they felt sorry for me, which added to how uncomfortable it made me.
@@nicj5354 That’s so embarrassing, I’m so sorry. I know what it’s like to have a such garbage adult in your life. You deserve much better than that
Mine even applied for the same job as me !
Yup. This is my grandmother and my mom's partner.
I’m so sorry dear. Break the chain.
Unfortunately, I work with a narcissist who is the most insecure and jealous person I've ever met (not my manager, but a senior person on my team). They have issues with EVERYONE, are never at fault in their eyes, and always put people down or find something negative about someone else's success. It's so toxic and exhausting to be around. They've been subtly tearing down my self-esteem for 3 years because I believe they see me as a threat and I'm trying to find ways to get away from them.
With people like that, at work in particular, the only thing that really works (in my experience) is gray rock. Practice your blank stare. They'll become frustrated and leave you alone once they realize you're not giving them any energy.
And if they try complaining to HR or a manager, they will have nothing to use against you.
You work with my husband?!? Are you part of the team that is plotting his demise? Everywhere he has ever worked, a conspiracy develops to destroy his career. (It’s because he’s so good at his job and does everyone’s work better than they do…)
If its getting to be a real problem, back up everything you do, and your interactions with them. If it's not your manager that has a problem with you, I suggest that you can get his support and raise an official case with HR. In such situations there will always be something that is still within your control, use it to manage what you need to survive one day more. But at the end of the day, a horrid person will not change. Think of what you want to get out of the situation, and the moment you think you've gotten what you need, just get out. It's a vicious cycle that will not end. You were simply caught in it.
@RoseCloud- I spotted the jealous boss on day ONE of a job. She was CHARMING AND ALLURING at interview. I took two weeks study leave and resigned.. You NEED to get away from this jealous boss.
I hear you!
It doesn't matter how well the narcissist is doing or how high in the hierarchy they are- they will never celebrate others successes and will always work very hard to stunt you and clip your wings (if not even to destroy your chances of success) instead of supporting and encouraging you (it's particularly sad when it's a parent and particularly dangerous when it's a boss).
I eventually stopped sharing anything that had to do with personal success.. It was so painful
When my sociopathic ex husband was getting ready for his discard and smear campaign he weaponized the envy of narcissistic relatives against me and it was shocking to see the amount of hostility they were harboring. Also, it has been disturbing to see how that same sociopathic ex wanted to sabotage our sons' confidence and success, and it was very destructive.
I have siblings that post unflattering photos of me on their social media. I’ve asked them to exclude me, after all- it’s their social media not mine. They still do it. Envy and jealousy is real. 💔
Change your settings so you have to authorise them first 😎😎
@not2longnow I didn't know that was possible! How, in settings? I am extremely computer illiterate! Very.
My narcissistic dad expected, after abandoning me twice as a child for years, that I would buy him a house when he retired as a gift. I laughed so hard even he felt awkward when he realised it definitely wasn’t going to happen. 😂
حاول ( أو حاولي ) نسيان إهمال والدك لك ..أنتِ الآن أقوى مادِيًاً عليه ..كون ( أو كوني ) أقوى منه وَأكثر جمالا في الأخلاق ..أي نعم من الصّعب في أوّل الأمر لكنّ الخير في الإنسان بعقل سليم هو الأغلب في حياته ..
قال الرّسول الحبيب محمّد صلّى اللّه عليه و سلّم : لَيس الشّديد منكم بِالصَّرَعَة إنٌَمَا الشّديد من مَلَكَ نفسه عند الغَضَب .. !
أي ليس القَوِيٌ في البشر من يستعرِض عضلاته لقُوّة في " لحم و عظم " فيه قد ينشر الخوف و الفزع بين النّاس و يُرهِبُهُم ..إنًما القُوّة هي قُوّة العقل و كبح مشاعِر الشٌر في النّفس الأمًارة بالسّوء و الابتعاد عن الانتقام .. ادخِل الفرح و السّرور على والدك كي تظهر رجاحة عقلك و طيبة قلبك ..هو من أهلك و انت جزء منه ..كن ( أو كوني ) هذا الجزء الطّيّب .. التّسامح راحة بال .. نحن كبشر ضيوف على ظهر الأرض و لسنا أصحاب مكان و دوام ... 🌷
Perfect :)
I'll admit I like seeing narcs get their due
I bought them the house and now nearly 40 years later they have gone into care , the legal contract states they have to give me first dabs at buying the house for £1, they are letting it rot. You did good, I wish I had kept my money but I thought I was doing a good thing, maybe they would be happy. They are never happy.
The entitlement is truly astonishing 😂 good for you for standing your ground! ❤
Jealousy comes from lazy people not doing the work.
Whether inner work or physically.
Wanting to take what you work so hard for, is a thief.
Bingo!
I know so many people who have a partner that supports them financially, they have a big house, 2 kids, the perfect life..but are miserable as hell. They just envy anything they DON'T have which isn't much but they look.
Someone told me I was jealous of them because they don't have to take medication everyday.... Ummm... I have an autoimmune disease, a chronic illness, chronic pain.... I either take my meds or am in pain 24/7.... I am not jealous of anyone who is able to live without medication. I am grateful they don't have to live as I do..... I practice radical acceptance, and accept and love myself unconditionally.... I don't want to be someone else. I accept my disability, and being suthentic. That is not jealousy....
I feel the other person was jealous or envious... Because I'm married, have a good relationship with my husband, and my husband takes care and supports me (I don't work due to my disability). Unfortunately, the person who told me I was jealous of them, was going through a divorce, lost their health insurance, was having problems at work, lost their home..... I tried being a friend, but got tired of the gaslighting, put downs, and what not else.... I was tired of this person making me feel like I am not being good enough, or not trying hard enough to heal an autoimmune disease I was born with, or I should pretend to not have an autoimmune disease and immunocompromised (during covid...)..... I ended up going no contact, and this person ended up moving out of my neighborhood..... Moved in with someone I considered as a friend.
My father was bizarre ,I bought a small farm and invited my father after years of living there. .He arrived at aged over 70 years old and his comment was you don’t deserve this .I couldn’t believe it didn’t want the best for his son .He was so f/u as a father because of his crap childhood and took it out on me .
The moment I began to act like my life wasn't "that great" or I convinced my family that I was going through real tough times, our relationship got "better". Before then, I was boggled and never understood why they didn't like me or what I did wrong. Once I began to realize they just didn't like me therefore they didn't like good things happening to me, I stopped sharing good news with them. I exaggerate hardships 🤭 and now I have a lot more peace with them. Sometimes I forget and share good or happy news and I very quickly get reminded why I fudged up....usually mom. But I'm so glad I know their game now 🙂
I unfortunately still have to do this to keep things calm until I can make a clean/safe no contact break.
I also have to hide my moments of joy and overall being content with my life from my mother. I remember I was singing in the shower about 10 days after giving birth. And when I exited the bathroom she attacked me with something like "how can you SING happily when you have a baby with this awful husband of yours". He was not awful, he just wasn't bending to her will like she wanted him to. it pissed her off insanely. And she was pissed that I was (and still am) enjoing my life despite having "wrong" husband.
Yes, I'm learning this tactic as well. Sometimes it's the only way to survive their toxicity.
My sister...
Mine too..
And mine….🙄
And mine. And I don’t know why.
unfortunately, mine too 😪
She is from Kerala
Some people hate your momma and daddy and they just hate you because you are their offspring. You inherited the hate.
My ex was very jealous of other person's "successes". The "successes" was a result of a hard work.
Narcissist don't want to work towards it but wanted the successes anyway.
When break up happened it was thrown in my face - I'm a a**hole because I have a "successes" and don't want to share it 😃
My parents are both narcisistic and I know I have to keep my sorrows and successes for myself. But one situation completely shocked me and I cannot forget about it. As a family we lived in a block of flats and our neighbor played tennis professionally. He always wore white when leaving for the training. One day I learned that he got cancer and some time later the hospital staff brought him home in such a poor condition that I knew he was going to die soon. I saw him coming home and expressed my concern before my parents. My father, who is not a sportsman at all, smirked and said: "At least he will stop boasting in his white clothes." The poor man died a few weeks later and I can still see the disdain in my father's face and hear his awful words.
Wow! Such heartache.
What
My neighbours were always very jealous of us because we were wealthier than them. They would often express that in a passive-expressive manner. When my father passed away, my mother said that they were suspiciously happy. I never trusted her. I thought no one can be that bad a person, unless they're obviously mentally ill.
Reading your story brought back that memory. I guess there's a chance my mother's claims were actually true.
Very sad
You’re beautiful dr ramani
I don't know if I envy people anymore but I used to. Now I very content with my life and I feel grateful for what I have now. I've worked very hard in life and that's a good feeling. I don't know if aging has helped me in the process of becoming truly happy with my life.
Jealous of a natural relationship with their own daughter 🤯🤯 mind blowing
Spot on with my mom. She was always jealous of me and doing things to bring me down. I am married with kids of my own and she still tries to keep me down and when she sees it’s not successful she moves onto bringing my kids down but luckily they see right through her.
Protecting my kids has been my greatest regret. I let them hang on the phone way too long… Wish I’d been way more in control.
Get them away from her 😢
Been through this too, it’s just outrageous
same with my mom
i remember her saying my child laughs crazily.. or my kids are way too uncontrollable. i mean they are kids.. every word that comes from her is to criticize me and bring me down.,... i had anxiety because of her.. and low self esteem. i need a therapist. i wish i can have access to that for free..
when I was 15 I was bullied by a narcissistic girl at school. she was very pretty, like the prettiest girl in school, and I was new to the school, and also quite pretty. she was cruel to me and I was never anything but nice to her, extremely shy and sweet and innocent back then. it wasn't until a friend told me 3 years later that "She's jealous of you because your pretty AND nice" that I got it. I was deeply affected by my high-school bullying for years on end. pretty teens can have the hardest time in school, they are a total target for nasty insecure girls.
*edit * what I really mean is target for pretty, narcisstic girls who guard their thrown like the evil queen in sleeping beauty, ofcourse school kids get bullied for all reasons, I was wrong to say *the hardest* time.
I saw this at high school as a male ,the group of vixens/hussys picked on this one attractive girl with total venom .As male I couldn’t believe the bitchiness and this poor girl who had done nothing to this group ,except appear like a threat .It really opened my eyes to females ,guys just fight ,girls are relentless with their teasing .
Not just the other pretty girls…I wasn’t “pretty” and was shy and awkward…had a bully shove me and smashed one of my front teeth out…messed up my face I found out years later…and had a hell of a time just surviving as a teen…to the point I asked to be homeschooled cuz the bullying was so bad…the one female bully from school…I have such a deep hatred for her even still today I couldn’t be pleasant in order to be the better person if I had to try to be to her…there are very few people I hate but the ones I do, deserve the hatred I have for them…
@@w8what575You probably were pretty and didn’t know it. That person saw something in you that you might not see that caused them to want to bring you down.
@@clarsand10 its not about being pretty. they have pathological envy
@@rohithreddy75 Yes, their envy is pathological but the original commenter said that she wasn’t pretty. There are many people that cannot see what others see, such as their own beauty. I wasn’t taking things any deeper than that.
They want to take your Soul from you, is really what they want, they lost theirs a long long time ago. Great Job Dr. Ramani.
I never knew how many people including family members had envy towards me. I always went about my life in my own way (coming from divorced parents) & in it I never bragged about where I came from. I just recently retired after 45 years of working since I was sixteen & all of the sudden most of my long time friends & a family member are out to pull me down. Its very sad & disappointing. Im okay making plans for my next 20 years!!
Narcissists not only target your success they also have to make out that you are jealous of their “success”…it’s hilarious to watch 🤣😎👄
my sister was always jealous of me due to IMAGINED preference from our disconnected mother. My entire family seems to hate me for leaving and doing other things with my life. When I finally graduated college, all self initiated and funded etc. I didn't even mention it to them. Because I knew that they not only didn't care, but that it would trigger jealousy and attacks... very sad to not be able to feel celebrated by one's own family. I'm sure I've internalized inferiority and I also feel jealous of people who seem to have had easier lives. These talks are helping me to reflect more deeply on my own thoughts, beliefs and behaviors.
I totally get it ! The family dog would follow me around the house and sit as if he was my body guard in front of me. My sister made a comment about this . Reflecting on that now im like even the dog knew she was wicked. Who would get jealous of a dogs loyalty!