Gabbie Hanna disappoints me again [part 2]
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ธ.ค. 2019
- Part 1: • Gabbie Hanna's Poetry ...
Books mentioned (affiliate links):
Gabbie Hanna - Adultolescence
UK: amzn.to/2YXCHLw
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Carol Ann Duffy - The World’s Wife
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US: amzn.to/2YRfsm2
Simon Armitage - Book of Matches
UK: amzn.to/2r1hMuo
US: amzn.to/2M2xjkR
Grace Nichols - The Fat Black Woman’s Poems
UK: amzn.to/2Ek1ShE
US: amzn.to/2qTqOtc
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![Gabbie Hanna's LAZY Poetry [part 3]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zyTPjMLImwM/mqdefault.jpg)
![Gabbie Hanna's LAZY Poetry [part 3]](/img/tr.png)
you can't convince me an 8 year old didn't ghost write this entire book
🤭
hahahahahahahaha
Lol
I accidentally read this as “you can’t convince me an 8 year old ghost didn’t write this entire book”
@@emmalangmaid7838 sAme tHInG reALLy-
Sky
is blue
Sea
is blue
Depression
is the blues
Profound.
Shay Dawn bestseller!
Like
Is blue
@@heyyourecool6203 clever
that's honestly much better than gabbies lmao
she critiques like a judge on a baking show trying not to hurt the feelings of an amateur baker who undercooked their cupcakes
Instead of under-cooking the cupcakes, she gave up before she put them in the oven. She forgot to get the sugar. She didn't even start mixing.
An amateur baker that they just found on the street and was like “you” and who mixed salt instead of sugar into their cupcakes.
And Gabbie Hannah is the one who had all these fancy and expensive ingredients, but doesn't know what to do with them
I'm sorry i legit thought that was a poem and was so impressed lmaoo, I had to tell you!
which is very rare to be honest
"she's given up before she's even grasped the thread, never mind weaved it into something meaningful" - you just said something more put-together and thought-provoking, with more poetic technique, in that one offhand comment, than in gabbie's entire book hahaha
You're not missing anything. It reads like a book of tweets. She's trying too hard to be relateable and deep or funny, but it's such a surface level cash grab honestly.
StephThePenguin i literally thought this and then read this comment lol
Yeah. I like gabbie and I bought this book a while ago and no matter how many times I try, I just cannot fucking get past like the fifth page.
Noah Centineo meets 2013 tumblr
Why is it a cash grab?
Raindrops fall from the sky she rushed the poems to meet a deadlines, the quality is not for the price at all
If you write a poem without poetic techniques it's called a tweet
that is some profound poetry right there
@Dolapo By not being an actual poem. Atticus (a popular poet) has some really bad poems that don't use any poetic technique. It's cringey that some people think this shit is worth selling, honestly.
*clap clap*
I literally was thinking as she read all of gabbie’s poems that they really do just sound like “deep” tweets lol
"To all of my supporters and followers: Thank you for standing by me through the years. You were there when I was sad-tweeting limericks at 5am and telling me to write a poetry book." ~ an actual quote from the acknowledgments of this book
Eat
spaghetti
Mek me
forgetti
All my regretti (;-;)
true poetry
*finger snaps*
Polite clapping
some body toucha ma spaget
why this oscar worthy
"when i was young
my mom used to check if the iron was hot
by touching it,"
when i was in high school
my dad used to check if we needed more food
by eating it
when i was in college
my sister used to check if she had any money
by drinking it
now im an adult
and i check if someone is important in my life
by losing them
-----
The is the first time I voluntarily wrote a poem, but this is something that came to mind for a more flushed out version of IRON
I really enjoyed reading this! Thank you for taking a ~questionable~ poem and spinning it into something beautiful
This actually a pretty interesting poem. It's amazing how Gabby inspired such beautiful creations in this comment section, she is a great muse ^_^
Gabby Did not inspire shit
Nicely done. That felt MUCH more fleshed out than the source, without deviating too far from the idea. Definitely added a new perspective to the poem, which was very pleasing to see. So again, nicely done!
incredible
I think she wanted to resemble the "aesthetic" of milk and honey...
without a doubt, just lacking absolutely in substance
siân diann yeah exactly, I agree that’s why I put the word aesthetic with quotation
@siân diann
Why?
i believe gabbie’s poems came out shortly before milk and honey but the all lowercase aesthetic poem thing has been popular for like 4 years now
faith moir oh full didn’t know that, yeah I personally like some of it, only because it reminds me of a raw diary entries
It’s like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to be funny or not
Kurozee that’s my life in a quote
That’s me in a nutshell.
Exactly! Great comment!
but she doesn’t realize it’s not funny
Kurozee she is being incredibly lazy.
That book is lotion. Oh sorry a disapp ointment.
Juul LaCie will you write a book
Whatboutique LLC Who knows, I might one day. 😉
I still dont get this one
dis soap ointment.
Dish of ointment
Just as with Nearly-Headless-Nick, the execution was awful
Holy sh-
LMAO
Take a bow ma'am
meghna asuti 😂😂😂
omg yes
This is r/im14andthisisdeep in book form
even i was deeper than this at 14 yikes
April Lund yes, but at 12? No no. Lol
Lol no one in the replies gets the comment
Cersei Lannister's Wet Nurse lmao I knowwww like go on reddit people
Cersei Lannister's Wet Nurse oh Jesus Christ I do, I just chose to reply in a way that took the statement literally. 🤦🏻♀️
"Family... Is relatives" Gabby that's not a poem, that's a dad joke
Blankk haha, true! 😂
I'm not a father, but I am an uncle and I have to say that those two things are not mutually exclusive.
A "Dad" joke! And a Dad is a relative and part of family! So deep, you guys!
LMAO!
Rob Sheehan it’s all relative
'Philosophy' sounds like a minion post someone's mum would post on Facebook.
omfg its true
The thing that annoys me the most about that "poem" is that that's a joke that's been going around the Internet for YEARS (at least I have seen it around for years), so it's not even an attempt at a poem, it's just a shitpost that she's stolen
I love how stuck you were on the “lilac flame” part of Armitages poem because I got so stuck on the “marriage” part. The other person was marked for eternity by the two rings he gave them that shit blew my mind.
bruhhhhh I didn't even realize that
I had the same reaction! My mind went like "Wait WHAAAT?!"
It made me think about how some children “bully” their crushes. That scissor branding was probably an attempt at giving attention and showing love to a crush, which connects to the “I was just asking her to marry me”
Two rings... like two wedding rings. Marked for eternity!! It just landed on me and i've watched this video i dont know how many times. Thank you for this comment!
Yes! I almost started crying when he said that last line. Boys often bully the girls they like, it's messed up, but true.
I think if gabbie had said “family is relative” it would’ve been more impactful and made more sense... as if to say, family is what you make it.. it’s not always blood, it’s not bound by being related. But she missed the mark once again lol
That would have been so much better
I feel like even having a space before the S would have made a statement relative S
I thought that poem was a literal dad joke
Paunz296 i mean it kind of is lol
@@rosebud1659 I see what you did there
Kyra is a lovely little baby but sometimes when she wanders into earshot and makes a sound like a satanic demon trying to communicate with me in tongues I get a little shock
Her chewing on the toy sounded like an alien from a bad science fiction film! Kind of loved it, she a good pupper
when she was chewing on her bone it sounded just like the grudge and I just about flipped shit I was so confused and terrified lol
Sorry
I own a Pitbull and he sometimes sneaks up on me and makes a noise like the t-rex from Jurassic park. I am always shocked.
Dude you don’t know how much this made my day
I feel like the main flaw with these poems is that she couldn’t decide whether these poems are supposed to be jokes or not, so they end up being neither funny nor artful. They’re all in that confusing limbo that makes them uncomfortable to read.
I think her poetry is actually a lot less deep than you’re giving it credit for...
She needs to edit more, but most importantly, she needs to read more.
Great points! She has the enthusiasm, which is excellent fuel, but she definitely needs to develop her toolbox.
Rick C Yes, that is exactly what I was thinking. I write so much. I also make myself read an essay, poem, and short story everyday, to build my toolbox and keep me thinking. Can’t get lazy!
I wish I had the energy to read as much as you! Honestly, even reading one poetry collection front to back helps your writing develop tremendously. (If it’s by a good poet, anyway.)
Gabbi? Or Rachel?
Karissa Norello what works and poets would you recommend reading?
Gabby's mind only fascinates her own, making her think she's some sort of genius. It's like she herself has not read other people's poetry before. She doesn't try to learn things, she just thinks she got natural born gift on things because she had a tough childhood.
Sateisa You articulated exactly what I feel!
For real though. The people who signed her as well as Gabbie herself probably thought ”well poetry is easy and anyone can do it, let’s make a poetry book”.
That's the out-of-touch mind of a narcissist for you. 😂 like serious NPD with that woman.
Sateisa as a musician this is exactly how I felt about her music career
Tessa Newman agreed!!!
“Iron” sounds like something a depressed high schooler would use as a caption under a finsta post
came for gabbie bashing, stayed for solid poetry analyzes
Same... except a year later when she’s still bashing her
This is what happens when you sit down to write a poetry book, instead of compiling your best poems into a volume.
Good point
exactly. i hope to release a book of poetry one day but right now all i do is write when i have an idea and fill my notes app with works in progress.
@@aj_814 be careful to write it somewhere else aswell. Like in a book or a document where it's saved online. It's happened to me before that I had written poems in my notes on the phone, then something happened to the phone and everything got deleted.
Kristbjörg H. Th. not to worry, i have most if not all of my poetry backed up online!
Lmao I lost all of mine on my phone and it was heartbreaking. I’m happy to hear it won’t happen to you
Girl, you are giving Gabbie too much credit. That relative poem? She wasn't thinking ANYTHING when she wrote "family is relatives." She didn't have any clever meaning, she just simply showed how the word relative is a homonym. No more. She was not saying anything about choosing your own family, etc. You are far too kind, lol.
@@unknownuser_99 actually, it's not. You'd say something like "my family is large." If you said "my family are large," you would really want to say that your family members are large. Even just when talking about family in general it's the same, as she showed in the other lines of that poem. That's why she continued it with family is relatives, because it fit with the structure of the rest. Her usage in that line is just word play. It's not good, but it's not wrong.
Its honestly my favorite one simply because it's the ONLY poem that has thought to it. Maybe youre right and she was like "haha these words mean different" but the fact that it *does* make you think serves its purpose as a poem. Obviously not a good one. But the entire book is garbage and that one stays in your mind a bit
I mean also... it was blatantly plagiarized from a Tumblr post (or maybe tweet?) from years ago
@@juliacatherine8089 was it really? They all seemed tumblr esque. It would be funny if she couldnt write all of those herself HAHA
@@juliacatherine8089 Thank you! I was like wait a sec I remember this from way back in the days of MySpace. It has been circulating for YEARS! Even her plagiarism is lazy. Smh
When I was young
My mom used to touch the iron
To see if it was hot.
I thought she was silly then
Until I found myself arms wrapped tightly round
The heat, burning,
My skin turning red and welting
I should have known danger
When I was staring him in the eyes
But I wanted to see if it was hot, too.
ashley l ooh 😲
How long did that take you to write?
raestanwood heheh not very
Ooooo that's so good
i’m not at all trying to put down what you wrote, but i doubt that took longer than 10 minutes. and you aren’t charging anything for this and it’s still beautiful. still better than what she wrote. like, cmon gabbie you can do better than that.
About the iron thing. You should check out the slam poem “14 lines from love letters, or suicide notes” by doc luben. There’s a line where he says “9. My grandmother was still alive when I was five years old and she told me to check if the iron was hot enough yet, so I pressed my hand against it, and it was red and screaming for hours. Twenty five years later she would still sometimes apologize, in the middle of conversations, I feel so bad about making you touch the iron, she would say, as though it had just happened. I cannot imagine how we forgive ourselves for all of the things we didn’t say until it was too late. But how else do you tell if something is hot but to touch it?”
It’s a really good poem with a really beautiful metaphor for exactly what Gabbie was saying. It’s supposed to be able to be interpreted as a line you can find in both a love letter or a suicide note, and when looking at it like that you can find a lot of meaning. You should check out his full version online though, it sounds so great spoken.
Yes! I was also thinking of that poem when she read "iron" out loud. It kind of sounds like gabbie copied it a little bit? I don't know of course.
on another note I rlly hope this one was from a love letter
I got very invested in that one stanza (paragraph?) that I will check him out some time.
Headcanon: Gabbie reads this poem in the future goes ‘huh maybe i did have a metaphor!’
came here to say this exactly!
i love that one omg
edit: i recommend sabrina benaim for slam poetry too! especially “explaining depression to my mother” and “the truth has three sides” - so well written and creative and innovative.
“If you eat an entire pizza in the woods,
And no one’s around to see it,
Do the calories still count?”
Do you still feel the yawning pit?
The shame of fullness
Clawing,
Crawling back?
Do you still tense and twitch,
At the danger of being seen,
A forest creature in a lunchroom?
This took me 10 minutes, Gabbie. Imagine taking an hour
this comment deserves more likes. 10 minutes. holy shit. gabbie really put no effort in
"This took me 10 minutes"
Oh it shows
“A forest creature in a lunchroom” wow. I don’t know why I like this line so much.
oh my god this is so much better
yaicob.com rude
Also all of her illustrations are just photos she traced on an ipad.
seriously?
Annie Rowe does that matter tbh? she never claimed to be picasso
@@bunny-zg8hv do you see the detail in that hair?it was pretty obvious since she isnt an artist
@@legendoflevant literally im just like... who cares
@@legendoflevant yes it matters when your making money as an "illustrator" when you're just tracing a picture or someone else's art, it's not talent it's laziness taking talents credit
"this is just a reddit tumblr shitpost" - My boyfriend says from the other side of the room at gabbys poems
you spoke beautifully in this video but just for clarification:
homophones: same pronunciation, different spelling and meaning (example: bear/bare)
homonyms: same pronunciation AND spelling, different meaning (example: ring like jewelry or as in ring a bell)
homographs: same spelling, different pronunciation and meaning (example: tear like crying or as in tear apart)
wouldn't 'tear' be a homonymn ? what's the alternative pronunciation I'm dumb
Tear (teer) and tear (tare)
So the word "bass" is both a homophone and a homograph.
Homophones: Base/Bass
Homographs: Bass (music)/Bass (fish)
@@user-mv5tm8eu5z I don't know why, but I read homophobes instead of homophones XD
Jessie Lin homosexuals: me
I don’t know if you know this or not, but the fact that she was rushing because of a deadline isn’t just shown in her “poems”. In a vlog, she literally said that half of the stuff in there was made up super quickly just to meet her deadline. I was a huge fan of her at the time, so I still bought it. But the fact that most of the book is filler is really obvious
Same, I remember only reading the book and not grabbing anything from it even though I was like 12. I only use the book now as a filler if I dont feel like ready in class but even that is a waste of my brain capacity
Yeah same. I only skimmed through her book and read a few pages and haven't picked it up since so I didn't know _this_ much filler was in it!! I remember her saying that too
Why did she have almost no work done......? How did she, unknown author in book business get a publisher anyway? I was so sure she had it self published tbh and then deadlines wouldnt even be an issue.
@@PGOuma haha ik never really analyzed it until watching this video (through the screen of course I cant bare picking up the book again)
Honestly I want to understand and empathise, but I feel strongly that she shouldn't have published anything at all if "over half" was filler!? That's loads??
Rewriting “Philosophy”
If you cheat on your diet in your home
And no one’s around to see
Will the calories count?
If you don’t record the pizza I ate
And you throw the box away
Will you still gain weight?
If you tell everyone you’re not hungry
And refuse all the meals
Will they admire you?
If you throw up the day’s food
And then clean the bathroom
Will I still hate myself?
Toe to Tip That's a Bart ❤️
That’s depressing
Damn that's actually pretty good!
Toe to Tip That's a Bart the title should be Bulimia then
Here's a children's poem I wrote in 6th grade in 2001 that won a contest and was published in a book (that they spelled my last name wrong in, and I'm still annnoyed to this day lol).. I think I was inspired by Shel Silverstein's style of humor. Just felt like sharing because it's never left my memory.. and "not to toot my own horn, but beep mother fuckin beep," I think it's better than any of Gabbie's poems you've shown, and I was 11 lol. I may be a bit biased tho :P
Perfect
I'm so perfect, in every single way,
I demonstrate my talents each and every day
I've got the greatest looks and the trendiest style,
My permanent record's the best on file
It's a shame other girls have to pay such a fee,
when natural beauty was given to me
My envied intellect is incredibly vast,
My genius IQ is guaranteed to last
But my most praiseworthy trait, as you can clearly see,
Is that I proudly exude an air of modesty
This is hilarious. Would love to see how you've continued to evolve
why did i think the "not to toot my horn" was the poem and agreed its still better than any of gabbi's stuff
Wow, you're soo talented 😩
I must admit I enjoy the irony that they misspelled your name on a poem about perfection!
@@mirimiriela480 lmao omg i never even thought about that! That's hilarious!
When I was young,
My mum used to touch the iron
To see if it was hot.
And I think it’s funny now
Because the whole point of seeing
If the iron was hot
Was so she wouldn’t accidentally burn herself
Spoken words of true poetry.
I actually really like that! Nice!
You actually managed to make me like it 😊 bless!!!
When I was young,
My mum would touch the iron,
To see if it was hot.
A funny act, or it is to me,
As I can see the iron-nee 🤣 xxx❤
Mark brae LMAO. I LOVE THAT!!!!
My teachers are the main reason why I dind't enjoy poetry for a long time. They made it seem like there could only be one "correct" interpretation of a text, but at the same time a poem was only a senseless mix of words that "sound good" if you couldn't connect with it.
It seems like Gabbie only wanted to sound good and profound to earn a quick buck, like she didn't write these poems out of a genuine love for the genre. Maybe she thought poems take less effort than novels, which is not true because every word in a poem has a much greater weight and impact.
This reminds me of my husband's literature teacher. She would have them read a book/poem/etc and then write a complex essay about what the author was trying to say
... only to never read their work and the next lesson inform them that the author had been drunk and move on. Or they were all wrong because there was only one right interpretation that was superficial and meaningless. She presented every piece of literature and poem as if they were written like Gabbi Hanna's work.
Rinse, wash, repeat.
She killed his love of exploring the deeper meaning of things. :|
I agree with you. I didn’t like learning literature in a school setting. Teachers and exams force you to adhere to a certain interpretation when the author could literally mean it as anything else. I only enjoy it when I’m reading it on my own time. Any person can write poetry or poem, but there are good authors, bad authors and the ones who are neither. The love for writing will always show in their words.
The crazy thing is, I think she thinks she sounds profound. She's mentioned before that she loves poetry. But that doesn't mean she's good at writing it. She's in such a delusion that she thinks whatever she does is genius and profound. But in reality it's just lazy.
When a paintbrush falls in a studio,
and Vincent Van Gogh is there to hear it
would it make half a sound?
Depends on which way he's looking
I LOVE THAT. THE REFERENCE TO HIS CHOPPED-OFF EAR.
the “I just feel like there’s a metaphor in there somewhere” is definitely something I’ve read in multiple tweets, and the line works better there than in her poem imo
yes. t's a common jokingly phrase you thumb down when you're to burned out or tired to express yourself well but still wanna say a bunch off stuff. I use it often 🙃
i would not try to publish or sell those flimsy texts or posts to anyone..at the least not when sober
The ‘Relative’ one sounds like a bad joke
Ayyeee No-Face!!!
A dad joke tbh
“I like sleep, sleep is neat.” -Gabbie Hanna
WOW REVOLUTIONARY, THE LAYERS, THE THOUGHT, THE DEPTH OF EACH WORD.
-every english teacher ever
@@5ksubswithnovideos236 😂😂
IKR! This is really inspirational like it really changed my life! I learned to sleep alot and stopped watching TH-cam all day💖💓
i think this poem represents depression. depression symptoms differ in a lot of people so they may be sleeping too little or too much, however in moderation sleep is good, "neat" if you will.
since gabbie chooses the first person perspective "I like" we can presume she is talking about herself and the experience with the mental illness.
Now, I think the phrase "sleep is neat" can have two different meanings. One could be sleep is good, as "neat" informally means something notable, and nice. The other meaning is using the definition of "arranged in an orderly, tidy way" which could be referring to her bedroom, where sleep mainly takes place, The room could be clean because she has overcome her hardships and starting to recover from her depression, or has slept so much she hasn't really had time to even interact with her surroundings, or she is too tired from lack of sleep to anything. Many people also clean their rooms before attempting
s-icide, which could be a result of depression.
I think this poem shows how one word is harmless, neutral on its own. But once placed into context, it can have a very negative or positive connotation, depending on how you look at it. Like a glass half empty half full situation. By even having the conversation, she might be putting us into her shoes with the inner turmoil of mentally ill people, always looking at the glass as half empty. But when you put all the word together, "I like sleep, sleep is neat" it is clear she is talking about the informal definition of neat, evident by the "I like" at the beginning. Conveying that if you take a step back and look at the full picture, you can always find something positive.
Fat Man this is what my teachers expect from me :/
"I don't know, I feel like there's a metaphor there" WHAT. People are paying money for this? That's not a poem! So lazy, I can't believe she's making money off such incomplete garbage.
The iron poem is taken from Doc Luben’s “14 lines from love letters or suicide notes”... of course his is better. Gabby has no shame stealing jokes and poems
I absolutely loved his poem
Yes! I noticed that! But to be honest, touching a hot iron is a common metaphor used in poetry, to the point that it's trite. However, Doc Luben's (spelling?) use of reworking such an overused trope is brilliant because he makes it his own, puts his own spin on it that really weaves into the fabric of the poem.
I enjoy you talking about language, a lot.
You would've been the coolest highschool English teacher.
Holy shit ya you are miss honey 😍
Rachel is similarly the student we'd all love to have in our class!
she reminds me so much OF my English teacher:))
Oh my god! She would!
All the boys would have crushes on her lol
I thought that I was pretentious for writing angsty poetry but then this collection got *published*
Angst poetry is great practice for the young writer. There's a nigh-endless supply of material to use for those couple of years before the question "what's wrong with the world" is replaced by "what can I do about it."
when i was young, my crush was into poetry as well which I hadn't know, turns out he published a little school magazine and i said i wrote poems. Then he goes great! wait is it one of those angsty teen girl poems? and i was so ashamed i said kind of and didn't submit anything. I remember my poem i had written that week was about my long surgery scar that I got the summer before from tumor- removal surgery that required two weeks on double dose pain pills and relearning how to walk by myself for a couple weeks. My poem though was just about how it looked but also my emotion behind it. i wish i had submitted it. pretentious? maybe. At 15- who cares? other than my crush haha
@@kookoo4pandas shoot, not pretentious at all, you'd gone through realer shit than most of your peers
@@kookoo4pandas I wish I could read that poem
I love her criticisms. They’re very educated and yet, she’s so willing to say she could be wrong. That’s so refreshing ♥️
The whole thing feels like the initial notes of each poem, she scribbled down the initial notes that popped in to her head and then just.. didn’t do anything else..
Edit: it bothers me that in Fluent she rhymes poetry and freely instead of rearranging the second line to end with heroically
Here's the thing, I'm a writer, I don't write poetry but I do know that both with poetry, fiction, and non-fiction the first draft always sucks. Doesn't matter how well established published award winning author you are, first drafts suck. The beauty of writing comes from revision. Gabbie seemed to take the first draft of all the poetry she ever wrote, never received constructive feedback, never went through revision, just went "it's perfect!" Upon first draft which is a huge no no, also the sign of a narcissist
Holli THIS
she needs an editor and/or a beta reader
I’m a writer too, and while I disagree that all first drafts suck (some people are just really great writers and beautiful shit comes out naturally), I do agree that this feels like a first draft and like she didn’t have an editor, but I know she did so it’s a little confusing? She doesn’t really seem to have much humility with her art, though. Also, I think every writer should take at LEAST one writing workshop, any genre, cuz without getting the criticism from your peers it’s hard to grow. She had a lot of yes men when writing this book, I’m sure, and that will never ever make her any better.
I feel like this rule applies for all art forms. I’m an artist and you NEVER use your first idea for a finished piece
Wouldn’t surprise me because she doesn’t take constructive criticism in any regard ever anyway
i can almost guarantee that the whole idea behind “iron” was stolen from the poem “14 lines from love letters or suicide notes” by Doc Lubens. line 9 literally reads “my grandmother was still alive when i was five years old and she told me to check if the iron was hot enough yet, so i pressed my hand against it and it was red and screaming for hours.” i wouldn’t say its far fetched to say she stole the idea considering the video of Lubens performing it has 2.1 million views on Button Poetry’s youtube channel
humdrum pelican I was looking for this comment
YES I thought this exact thing! The lines are ridiculously similar
i love that video
That makes it even more hilarious that she just said "maybe theres a metaphor here" directly in the poem like who steals a concept and then actually strips it down to only the bare bones... whyyyyyyyyyy
Gabbie? Stealing ideas? Inconceivable!
When I was young,
my mother would check if the iron was hot
by touching it;
she plunged her hands into scalding water
while washing dishes
with a steadfastness better reserved for fresh rain.
Each time I went to rinse an apple,
the faucet stream was a live wire,
my fingertips electrified by the heat,
but I remember her hands were always cool and smooth
when they tucked my hair behind my ears.
I never understood her numbness
until my grandmother wrung out the rag
after dinner and handed it to me,
boiling;
I gripped it tightly
in my
hand,
a rite,
and let the heat seep out.
omg
I love that you actually did something with that poem. It's a great premise but it really fell flat by Gabbie giving up half way through. Thank you
A year late, but this actually gave me a lump in my throat. Beautiful.
So late, but I'm on this writing site called The Prose and you should absolutely should join and post this poem because holy shit this us top notch
One of my biggest problems with Gabbie's poems is that they don't read like poetry. Not even like free verse poetry. They read like a run-on sentence that she broke into lines.
Rachel, I encountered you randomly because I was wondering why the hell Gabbi was writing poetry and your video really hooked me---- but your referential mentions of Carol & Duffy actually got me super interested in poetry. Thank you for introducing something significant into my life!
Carol Ann Duffy :)
It's Carol Ann Duffy buddy :) welcome
Ah jeez, that makes sense!! I was wondering for a while why Carol and Duffy were co-writing poems
'Carol & Duffy' is one of the best aural misunderstandings I've ever seen, made me laugh! She was poet laureate- the first LGBT member, first woman AND first Scot to hold the title :) I don't like poetry but she's pretty cool.
Atinytina Y. me too!!!
That calory poem isnt even Hannahs. That shower thought has been around for years around tumblr and twitter just with different foods.
Hi I'm gonna rewrite some of Gabbie's poems from this video enjoy!
RELATIVE:
Time is relative so they all say
Beauty I'm told is much the same way
All of my relatives tell me "go play"
When all I want is to run away
Time is relative - no time to wait
I watch my family come home late
Crawling and groaning - a complete state
Which is why my relatives-
I cannot relate.
IRON:
Mother always taught me
To use what you've got
You have to touch the heat
To know that it's hot.
Hand hovers over stoves
Touches finger to the flame
I see her checking the iron
Her expression is the same.
Mother always taught me
To trust in what I learn
But when I touch the iron
I find I always burn.
LOTION:
Bath and body works
Lush counters and drug stores
It smells so sweet and grand
My stomach does somersaults
Every year I buy more boxes
Wrap them up for everyone
All the while completely aware
They don't need another one.
I buy them just the same
But this one is a weird shape
It's hard to wrap it up for you
And I've wasted so much tape
Ah- but an idea I've hatched
On making this look good
I find a box to place it inside
This can work - it should!
Through cupboards and shelves
I rifle through things I hoard
Then I find an old IPad box
Finally, I am reassured
I wrap it up so nicely
Put on a bow on there too
Hoping you love this present
I did all this just for you.
I watch you tear it open
Your eyes light up with glee
"Oh my God!" you shout
"An IPad just for me?!"
My face flushes with red
I shake my head and say "no"
"I just used the IPad box to wrap
and look at the cute little bow"
You're eyes drop down to look
And you realise it's fancy ointment
You look at me and say
"Well that's a disapp-ointment!"
PHILOSOPHY:
I've been eating too much pizza
I know and I'm ashamed
The calorie count is building up
And I'm the one who's blamed
So now I have to hide it
Where nobody's around to see
My secret shame - the pepperoni
The cheese addict inside of me
So I grab a Dominos and go
To eat my pizza alone in the wood
If no-one sees me it doesn't count
And my - god this pizza is good!
These are really good! Irons my favorite, you did such a good job with it.
Some of these are better than others but they're all better than Gabbie's
Inb4 Gabbie steals these
I love what you did with Iron! I really liked that concept and was disappointed that Gabbie turned it into a lame tumblr post instead of an actual poem
Wow, i love this! Iron hit home for me
I wish I'd had an English teacher explain poetry to me with the same enthusiasm, passion, and examples that Rachel does here. I feel like I've missed out on such a beautiful form of art all these years by not having an appreciation for it until watching this video.
The philosophy poem could have been so much more powerful if it went "If you eat an entire pizza by yourself
and no one's around to see it,
does the shame still settle in?"
Because you know it's supposed to be a poem about the expectations, about eating problems and body issues.... But it just falls so flat that it looks like an average tweet, not something meaningful and with artistic value
I’m putting together a poetry anthology of poems I like (not to be published, just for me :) ) and I was wondering if I could write this one down? You’ll be credited of course!!
@@evaoconnor3076 sure thing!
I honestly thought it was just a commentary about how ridiculous that thought experiment is
Yes! Would absolutely watch a PT.3!
Gabbie's trainwreck writing is the least poetic "poetry" I think I've ever experienced. It's the poetry of privilege - of landing a book deal not because of your writing but because of your name, and having the audacity to think that your half-baked, unedited brainfarts are worthy of being respectable published poems when they aren't even worthy of being tweeted & deleted.
There are people with actual skill and talent who probably haven't even presented their work to publishers yet because they're still busy honing it, meanwhile there's...this. Shameful 🤦🏻♀️
Bekah Greenhalgh omg yesssss you said what I was thinking perfectly. It’s actually infuriating and deeply insulting to consumers and fellow writers alike.
Honestly her poems seem like glorified instagram captions
I think you're being generous with Gabbie's poem. I literally don't think there's ANY deeper meaning, it just looks like she looked through her Twitter archives
Are you drinking a rockstar out of a wine glass? If so, that’s complete class I’d like to achieve.
gabbie’s poetry is basically what i wrote in sixth grade during my “i call myself emo but really i’m just unjustifiably angsty” phase
actually, that's why she wrote the book. Because she read exactly those poems of her youth on her TH-cam channel. Then people asked her to write a more modern book.
She could’ve made the ending line of “iron” so much better. A million metaphors have been made about heat/fire and being burned, and she couldn’t think of one?
“When I was young,
My mother used to touch the iron,
To make sure it was hot.
Every time she lost a bit of herself,
But I never noticed in her touch”
“I grew witness to her bravery,
And was never afraid of being singed at the edges”
Her mom was an alcoholic and shes not on good terms with her, also there was violence in her family so i doubt That’s how the poem would End if she developed it a bit more :)
Y. Santek even so there’s more way that she could’ve brought in the burned metaphor. For example since her mother was an alcoholic she probably loved the feeling alcohol gave her. So she could’ve said something about being numb and the burn of the iron being the only thing she could feel. For example
When I was young
My mother used to touch the iron to check if it was hot
When it burnt it gave her something she was lacking
And that was feeling
Just like the alcohol
I’m not a poet at all but it could’ve turned into something like that. She could’ve pulled the metaphor
Laurenne I agree she could have Done it better, Just wanted to give you the backstory
It’s a poem, not an autobiography. The narrator’s mother doesn’t have to be anything like Gabbie’s mother just because Gabbie wrote the poem. She’s not creative but poetry in general should be.
Emma Narotzky it doesn’t have to be, but in Gabbies case it is, the creative part is a different thing, i agree with you there
Time is relative
The past and the present
Related but different
From the past you were rent
To the future you're sent
To the present you are lent
Beauty is relative
To time it is related
Pretty features you rent
And return once all is spent
Family is relatives.
Connected to you
But those connections fade
Depending on what you do
Time passes
Beauty fades
Family grows and wanes
But while relatives are set
Family will change.
I lost my point and now I have a headache.
I spent like 10 minutes on this.
This is why I stopped writing.
This is so good! Would much rather get a book of poetry like this than the lazy poems from Adultoescense
This is beautiful
Wow loveee!
Thanks for fixing that like you turned her super lazy poem into a real, formed idea that’s actually good.
People need to stop saying they spent 10 minutes on something when the thing isn't that good
"Lotion" sounds like a rant i'd have when i'm sad and drunk
Children’s poetry can be done well, but there is a difference something made for children and something that is just incredibly lazy. My love for poetry came from my parents reading me Shel Silverstein and T.S Elliot when I️ was little but if they read me Gabbie’s poems I don’t think I️ would have ever had found my passion. And it makes me sad that young people today may read this and not be able to find that love.
I loved Shel Silverstein's poetry as kid, especially 'Where the Sidewalk Ends'! I'm glad I had something of substance rather than Gabbie's poems
Shel Silverstein is amazing!
I feel this so much!
@@starrykev and that book with the lion omg😍
Shel Silverstein!! My favorite!
That baby shoe poem never fails to breaking my f*ckin heart
I'm a creative writing major and your analysis of each of these poems giving actual fantastic examples of why hers need to be worked on is just simply class. Its literally like I'm reading an argumentative essay combined with an analytical one and my nerd side is geeking. I'm subscribed.
I'm 10 minutes into the video, but I wanna mention that I love your approach. You're not there to just roast Gabbie, you're being mature and criticising with arguments, examples, you point out why I don't like the poem or how it could've been better. You also recognize ideas that were good but underdeveloped, and I really enjoy it. Sometimes I think you read too much into Gabbie's poems (I think the "relative" one was just a silly joke, not a commentary on how you you don't choose your family, etc), but it be like that sometimes. You're making me want to get into poetry (either reading or writing it (the latter would be a disaster though)). It's honestly refreshing
The fact that she’s drinking rockstar out of a wine glass while very eloquently talking about poetry is sending me
when i was young
my mum used to check the if the iron was hot
by touching it
even when her fingers jerked
back,
and she hissed between her teeth,
i couldn’t do it for her.
i couldn’t touch the iron.
when i was older
i used to check if i could push my independence
by breaking my boundaries
even when i came
back,
and i was buzzed on the high of life,
she couldn’t let the fears go.
she couldn’t let me go.
when i was young
my mum used to check if the world was dangerous
by testing it
even when she
remembered,
and recalled the fun she had,
i couldn’t learn the same hard lessons.
she couldn’t let me feel the heat of the iron.
holy shit that's amazing
that's really great. i love the second stanza and the last sentence is so good!
I love this
When I was in school I had teachers tell me my interpretations of poems were incorrect. I think it might be more of an American thing? I would roll my eyes and keep thinking my own interpretation was right but they were convinced a poem could only mean one thing and you have to read it in a certain way otherwise the author would get offended and cry or something.
I had the same sort of experience.
In 9th grade I had a teacher who told me of "never survive high school or his class" and that "only a fool would publish me"
He told me everything I wrote was wrong and he believe that poetry (and all art) was not subjective
Yeah I definitely think some American teachers are on a power trip, I wouldn't be surprised if Gabbie had english teachers who only saw one interpretation or got off on students being wrong about their interpretations. I'm pretty sure I've seen tik toks mocking teachers like that
Sounds American, coming from a New Yorker. Luckily, my teachers said that as long as your interpretation is within reason (it can be evidenced by the work), then it is correct.
(I know, 2 years late, but-) It's not just an American thing. In Germany my teacher said something similar and I personally think he's right. Poetry can be misinterpreted. But yes, there's a possibility that a poem can mean different things and the author meant it but sometimes even the teacher wouldn't notice it.
Gabbie’s poems read a bit like Bo Burnham’s shorter poems during his comedy shows. Them being bad or especially to the point without developing into anything is part of the joke, though.
Yeah but It seems that gabbie wants to be taken seriously, while bo burnham carefully writes his so that they can be the punchline of a joke
Bo burnham had really clever jokes and works on his punchlines and even his more serious stuff is especially well written such as art is dead. Hes to the point but makes smart references and euphemisms, double entendres etc. Gabbie wants to be taken seriously as a poet, any clips of her talking abt her writing are always taking herself almost too seriously. Maybe some of what she tries to write is meant to be funny but poems like the one in the last video like sleep have no clear punchline or anything. Bo Burnham is an excellent comedian and writer and in my opinion, even if thats what Gabbies going for, she isnt doing it right.
do not compare her with bo burnham
I acknowledge she is a poor imitation and seems to be taking it too seriously, guys.
I can't believe you just compared her to Bo who put so much work into his comedy shows and now has won awards for his writing 😂😂
Could you do this with rupi kaur's books? Comparing and contrasting? Cause I personally do not enjoy her work but she's insanely popular and I'd like someone to either justify that or agree that it's shit 😂
I would honestly love this. I know Kaur has some very personal poems about her past trauma that are hard to criticise, but a lot of her work is really surface level and meaningless.
@@thmoow THANK YOU!! seriously I thought I was alone in these thoughts
I think Kaur's problem is that the book is full of poems that aren't that good, but there are some really good things there too. If the editor or something like that were a bit smarter it could be a smaller book with only the best.
I'm not a big fan of hers either! Most of those poems just seem so basic tbh
Honestly I enjoyed the sun & her flowers but not much of milk&honey
But I'm not a poetry person, I just pick it up once in a while
But I think rupi can improve a lot. especially on the ones *not* having to do with personal trauma.
bestfriEND
boyfriEND
girlfriEND
only famILY ends with I Love You
Niiice
It's better than anything in Gabbie's book and yet it's just one of those somewhat inaccurate memes that's been on deep Twitter for years
@@kojelians LMAO!
garlic bread has no end 😌
I LOATHE YOU
When ur falling in a forest
And there’s nobody around
Do u ever even crash or even make a sound?
DID I EVEN MAKE SOUND
*clears throat*
Haven’t seen a DEH reference in a MINUTE
Did I even make a sound
Did I even make a sound
It's like I never made a sound
Will I ever make a sound?
ON THE OUTSIDE ALWAYS LOOKING IN
I bet her idea of poetry is when people take a normal paragraph and indent it differently to seem deep
"Structured pauses for effect" Lmao
That
is so;
true
I bet,
Her idea of poetry,
Is when people
Take a normal
*Paragraph*
And indent it
Differently
To make it
Seem
Deep.
That iron one was really bad. Just a waste of paper. You are a good poetry teacher. Merry Christmas
Bruh idk why Gabby is mad abt this,,, Rachel is literally so kind with her constructive criticism,, like she’s not harsh at a l l.. if I reviewed that fucking “relative” poem I would have burst out laughing lmao.
- an English major
Fellow English Major, I'm confused too. Good thing she didn't go to school for creative writing
@@MidnightMagic956 I know right ! She would have been eaten alive !! I get big dunning-Kruger vibes from gabby :p
i’m not an english major but i took some english courses first year university, yeah i don’t get why she is mad at constructive criticism. i wish my english professors gave me constructive criticism like this. gabbie should be thankful she didn’t go completely in on her lol
She said she was upset about the title being "gabbie Hannas poetry is bad" and how that means it isn't constructive criticism? But that's not true. It's a TH-cam video so it needs a title like that lol. But I just think she wants to think she's perfect
when I was young,
my mom used to check to see if the iron was hot
by touching it,
but she always taught me
to hold my palm an inch away.
I looked at her calloused finger
and wondered why
she didn't take her own advice.
not great but i like to think it's a bit better lmao
Let me tell u it’s pretty good
i kind of feel like the iron poem has potential to be fantastic but it just .. wasnt. it seems to be a trend of poets now to compare a message they heard as a child to something they’ve learned as an adult. orion carloto has a wonderful poem called vultures that sort of mirrors the strategy i think gabbie was trying to go for, but she does it masterfully. it’s a poem of how her mother told about the lifecycle of animals and how when they die sometimes, vultures will eat their remains. the line that really ties everything together is “i think that’s why that’s stuck with me all these years; they could sense death and that alone was fascinating to me”. and then she goes on to compare that to how she saw vultures in the sky when she and her boyfriend broke up after an emotionally taxing relationship (i’m not doing a fantastic job of explaining but it really is a body of work that speaks so much to me). i think that’s sort of what gabbie wanted to do and i think she thought she could get around actually telling us the metaphor (which, i will admit, being a poet myself, is the hardest part) by just letting the audience find out themselves. i think young teens will be more apt to find that poetic because they haven’t been exposed to other poetry to compare it to. the other strategy i can think of that she maybe was trying to embody is that of an emotional break. clementine von radics (whose poetry i’m not in love with but they utilize this strategy quite masterfully) writes a hefty, emotionally heavy poem (i can’t think of the title off the top of my head) and then at the end adds “here is the truth: it is hard to be in love with someone who is in love someone else. i don’t know how to turn that into poetry.” i think that works perfectly there because it just shows how emotionally stuck they feel in that relationship and in coming to realizations about themself. once again, i don’t think gabbie was trying to use this strategy because her execution is very flawed and overall can just be boiled down to laziness.
this was longer than i expected HAHA
Like, it could've been amazing if she like....actually made a connection. Like, for me, personally, I often date men who everyone says "he's bad for you, stay away", but like a moth to light, I get drawn in, and then, I get burned.
wtfitzal she is!!
stewieismyhomeboy yes!! the connection would’ve made it wonderful
The iron poem feels like it has potential bc i feel like it was stolen from "14 lines frome love letters or suicide notes" by doc luben, give it a listen on button poetry, i enjoy it a lot
I'm fifteen and I post my rubbish poetry on tumblr (I know). But I really want to say how polite and helpful Rachel phrases her feedback. Like this is the ultimate constructive criticism that I would PAY for instead of "oh that's fun" or "that doesn't work". Honestly I've gotten some pretty good advice from this vid, thanks!
Sophie Marshall Your “rubbish poetry on tumblr” is essential to your process! You can’t be a master until you’re rubbish and you learn. idk I just want you to know that you’re doing great and to not be hard on yourself. Be proud of your work!
@@p0lyxena Thank you! I will certainly continue to try my best
exact same for me! it's a bit embarassing how some of my poems are very much alike hers but it def made me rethink some stuff and encourage me to work harder on them
When I was 15 I posted my poems on tumblr too. Godspeed
Oh I *really* liked the "I am Very Bothered" poem. I absolutely hate the notion that if a guy bullies you, that means he likes you. Too many times growing up adults shrugged off my bullying complaints with this excuse. So I love the last stanza, and how the poet is saying that if they try to justify the pain they caused you by saying they did it cause they like you, don't accept that. "Don't believe me, please"
One fish
Two fish
Red fish
Blue fish
then sell it for $15 and you got a Gabbie poetry book
😭 totally felt that
the thing with gabbie’s poetry is that she’s too caught up in trying to give it a meaning.
giving your writing meaning should be easy if your heart is into it, and if you find it hard to give it a meaning then it just wasn’t meant to be in that moment.
it feels as if gabbie thought of an emotion and wrote lines that rhymed about said emotion.
instead of writing about how depression felt and affected her, she wrote about depression in large strokes in an attempt at being relatable.
it’s like, instead of trying to convey something meaningful to her she tried writing something that anyone could relate to and in turn ended up coming off as a try hard and almost uncanny valley, as if she didn’t have a grasp on human emotions.
a good poem about how you feel will undoubtedly touch and resonate with people since you’re being vulnerable, but a poem that’s actively trying to be relatable will always fall flat because the reader knows you were just trying to be “relatable” and “trendy” with the kids.
Senali Karunathilake !!! better than i could ever have said it!!!
her poems really just feel like passing thoughts to me, just random thoughts she threw onto paper and labelled as a poem, and then packaged it as a book for some money. Makes me feel like im reading my own poems from when i was seven.
Perixie they are like tweets and shower thoughts thrown into a book damn.
20:55
What you said: Grace Nichols
What I heard: Gray Snickles.
Rachel Oates lol nice fake name Sophie Turner.
SharkOfTheRedSea Haha! I do see the similarities 🧐
I think she's trying too hard to be someone like rupi kaur and hasn't yet developed her own original and personal style
Rupi Kaur is an extremely cut rate Nayyira Waheed, so Gaby trying to be Rupi trying to Nayyira is like the weird guy in Multiplicity... "A copy of a copy is never as sharp as the original."
Honestly, I feel a lot of Gabbi's poems are fake deep, especially the eating pizza one. As someone who does struggle with binging but also restricting and intense body dysmorphia, that poem is just lazy and fake deep. I do own her book because I used to watch her, and I adore poetry. The book was honestly a disappointment.
Kobi-Jaye best of luck for your recovery. I know it can be a very long process. Hopefully you can find encouragement and support from those in your life, and maybe find some poems, articles or books that you can relate to. Stay strong
She struggled with her weight and relationship with food. Who are you to dictate someone else’s experience with body dysmorphia and body struggles? You don’t have to like someone but to sit and act like you are the only one who experienced it is selfish. She can cope with her body struggles her way.
taNEETS shut up
@@taneets1429 that's not what they're saying at all
taNEETS As someone who has been in and out of eating disorder treatment multiple times, and is currently in treatment again, this poem was almost triggering. It was almost mocking to people like me who have struggled with counting calories and restricting so much that things like eating the Eucharist at church or chewing gum seemed impossible. If she isn’t comparing it to eating difficulties, it’s not that bad, just fake deep. If she IS comparing it to eating disorders or disordered eating, it’s worse. It makes it seem like calorie counting is something people only do when people are around. It makes it seem like people who struggle with eating aren’t actually struggling behind the scenes. Not invalidating her possible struggles, but she either shouldn’t have included it or should have thought more about the concept before releasing it. If anything it furthers the belief that eating disorders are for attention
“I am sad
Life is bad
So i go out
And buy a hat
And then i fame on mental illness
As if its a trend”
-Gabbie Hannah in a nutshell
"My social media career
Has taken a drastic bend
There's nothing I can mend
My wrath has no end."
- Also Gabbie Hanna
I personally think the relative poem would have been better like this:
Family
is relatives
Friends
is relative
Or something like that. The time & beauty lines were so irrelevant to family, while family was the main point.
My thought process just now, in chronological order:
1. * sees new Rachel Oates video *
2. *:D :D :D* *!!!*
3. * sees that it's another poetry one *
4. *:D :D :D :D :D* *!!!!!!!*
5. * sees that it's over half an hour *
6 *:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D* *!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
I AM READY
It's like Gabbie read a Milk&Honey by Rupi Kaur and thought she can do better :D
and somehow she *almost* managed to be worse
‡ shelleysmonster ‡ 'almost'
I took the idea of "relative relatives" and wrote a short poem:
If you asked
I would say
That relatives are relative
That they should be a positive
But when my father asks
Whether I love him
I’ll lie through my teeth and say family is fixed
So what choice do I have anyway?
"But there's no imagery" in Gabbie's poem about the iron, you say. Yes there is, there's a DOODLE of the iron right there!
I bought Adultolescence this Summer. While there were a few good ones, I mostly regret this decision.
Also, Rachel, have you ever considered a series on poetry? You clearly have a passion for it and a nack for making it interesting. I say this as a poet myself.
time
is relative
beauty
is relative
family
is relatives
and how they love to remind me of both
Viceroy Haukea ONE LINE and it’s instantly better
You just made it so much better wtf
also, hope you're raking in the cash from the hate (and support) views she directed towards you. i actually had a similar experience with a turkish author who can't take criticism and had a similar meltdown and... god i made some sweet youtube $$ that month. buy yourself a nice wine and a treat for kyra and call it a day. honestly she's probably crying in her bed lmao
omg the queen herself i didn't expect to see u in this video ily 🥺
@@laraada_s 💖
"I am not a poet."
"Words,
Words are hard."
pish posh that is a poem.
It's clear Gabbie wrote a handful of decent, thoughtful poems. But she needed to make a whole book, so she just threw a bunch of simple, flat poems together to fill the pages. She should have spent more time.