@@isamaracc Or being given something. I think giving it to that special person is something to be proud of. Or being able to brag about being a virgin. Most of us wish we could go back in time and take it back.
I'm really glad you pointed out the problem with "women are experts on hymens", an objection I've always had to this episode of ARE. The truth is that practically *nobody* gets proper education on this topic! I am a cis woman but I wasn't born knowing the info in this episode; I had to learn it just like everyone else.
I literally read a fanfiction yesterday by a grown woman that treated a little bleeding during the first sex as "normal". That's not normal, you should NEVER bleed from sex.
I'm really only beginning to realize how lucky I was to have a mother who is a nurse. Nothing about my body was ever mysterious to me, and I'm so grateful.
Although I completely agree, I think the point was supposed to be "stop invalidating women who talk about their bodies". I don't think they stuck the landing, but I do still think it's a good lesson to teach. There are, of course, plenty of women who do a poor job knowing their own bodies, too, so obviously listening to people who know their stuff is important. Just wanted to throw that out there.
@@Nakia11798 I was told by my doctor that bleeding during the first time and a few times after is very normal and common. You either do or don't. As long as it's not heavy like a period it's fine.
She was joking about being a narcissist, and she’s very proud of how much hard work she’s put into her career. Med school isn’t easy for anyone, and she had babies while she was in school. Much respect from me.
@@lilaxo442 I didn’t realise this post was “everything”. How foolish of me. Everything in it and it in Everything. How could I be so blind, yes this, this post is the personification of the idea we humans perceive as “everything”. And for me to r/whoosh this “everything” uh, I should just go sacrifice myself for being so blind that I r/whooshed the epitome of “everything”.
The issue i have with her is that she talks too much about child birth and not enough about other common issues. Things you don't know exist until it happens
When i was 4 years old i “broke” or wore away a lot of my hymen doing the splits in gymnastics. I ended up with a little blood in my underwear and my Mom took me to the doctor just to check up on everything. The doctor confirmed what my Mom suspected and we went on our way, my Mom having peace of mind it wasn’t anything abnormal. My Mom told my Grandmother about it who said that it meant i was no longer a virgin and wouldn’t be able to have a proper wedding night. My Grandmother is from an Eastern country so a lot of their views are quite old fashioned. My Mother was appalled that my Grandmother would even think something like that and thankfully explained to her how wrong she was.
@@katsukibakugo9536 you don't lose your virginity -period*virginity is the most stupid concept made up by... well how do you know?!MEN! (a shocker, I know...)
I fell really hard onto one of the seat side of a chair while painting my walls, guess I have to marry it now It legit felt like my entire metaphorical peen shriveled inside of me, I was nauseous for 10 minutes afterward
My dad never taught me periods because he never bothered to understand it besides I bleed monthly and I have lots of pain. My sister explained the entire thing, in EXTREME detail, about a month before I actually started my first one, so when I seen blood I just yelled "DEV IM BLEEDING SO IM STEALING A PAD!" And she just went "COOL"
Oh so much more relaxed than my little sister😅 I had to figure out that stuff on my own (okay, I got some help by some girls from my year because I got my first period at school, and I knew a bit from sex ed), so I didn't understand the big deal my sister made out of this when she got her first period. I wasn't very helpful to her, I should've done better, but I also didn't get why she was crying because I didn't help her, even though I managed to figure that stuff out on my own. I didn't tell anyone in my family for several days.
@@solar0wind I don't remember learning about menstruation, it just happened and I knew it was normal. I slightly remember hearing about it in a bathroom in third grade, but I can't know for sure if that actually happened. I was 13 1/3 when I got my first one. I had made my own pads out of toilet paper. I didn't tell my mom until two years later when she finally thought she should mention it to me (during a car ride) because she thought it hadn't happened yet and that it must happen soon. She was heartbroken that I never told her but I was just like "yeah it's whatever." I also started shaving my legs when I was 11. I had taken an unopened replacement/cartridge for my mom's razor and just switched the tops out. I remember she was out front drunk with her friends one night by the fire and she said to a friend that she was wondering if she should get a razor for me, and then my mom felt my legs and said "no, you're good" ...but I had already been shaving for a year at that point. When she tried to have the period talk with me I cut her off and said I've had it for two years and that I also shave, and then a few days later a pack of disposable bic razors and generic pads showed up even though she had the expensive name brand stuff for herself. I didn't use the razors as disposable ones, since they were all I had. They rusted really quickly though so I had to dry them off. I've never been to an ob/gyn even though I'm almost 20 because I didn't have health insurance for a long time with her, and now that I'm living with my dad, he won't even give me my insurance cards, and keeps my personal legal documents (birth certificate/ssn card/vaccination records) locked in a safe. Any time I've asked for them he has said no and that I don't need them (even if I clearly do, for college or an employer). I ended up dropping out of college after one year because of depression and suicidal ideation and lost all of my scholarships. When I told my dad he was furious and called suicidal people weak, but there's nothing he can do to make me go back until I achieve personal stability and do it myself. I just recently got a job as a cake decorator, and my employer needed me to bring in my ssn card. I didn't think my dad would give it to me because he had never done so before, but this time he did and he hasn't asked for it back yet. Also just recently, I broke up with my fiance who I met online when I was 12 and he was just about to turn 15. When I was 12-14 he would ignore me for weeks until I'd send him nudes or a video of me doing... specific things... for him. I was essentially stockholmed. I'd do anything to see his face or hear his voice. When I was 16 I bought him a plane ticket and he lived with my mom for a year and then joined the army. He was very different in person, honestly a great guy other than what he did in the past, and he was just a dumb teenage boy at that point. But I just couldn't get over that past, and honestly shouldn't. He ended up failing basic training in the army and went back to his state to take care of his grandma where he still is. This time long distance he never asked for anything sexual from me (ever) but instead would repeatedly tell me that I hate him, just to hear me fight it. It was so draining. Anyway, I'm mentioning him because one of the first times he asked me to do something in a video call for him he said "I hope you didn't break your hymen" because there was a little bit of blood and I hadn't had a period before. I remember saying "I don't think I broke anything," because I had never even heard of hymens. I didn't learn what they were or where they were until 7th grade sex ed class, and they didn't explain it well at all, I was so embarrassed just sitting there thinking I don't even have one anymore and have never seen it.
This is why I, as a cis male, am subscribed to a gynecologist's TH-cam channel. I may not have these body parts, but this is still USEFUL information to have.
Not only was my sex ed was basically "don't do it, or you will get a nasty disease" followed by graphic pictures of STIs, but my biology teacher wasn't allowed to teach the reproductive system, so I've been learning all kinds of things as an adult. Thanks for your videos, MDJ!
My sex ed teacher said a man's penis could get stuck in a vagina if they both had piercings. I dont know how many errors I have to point out in that statement, but the stupidity seems self evident
@@purplexninjamom sincerely hope that's not where our teacher was getting information, but she was after all a special ed teacher, not a health teacher. I dunno what our school was thinking tbh
YES. I’ve had a lot of conversations with folks who’ve been assaulted where I’ve basically said that if virginity is an important concept to you, you get to define whether you are that or not. It’s an entirely mythic concept and not something that someone can take away from you, no matter what happens to you. Had to give myself the same speech, too.
Its horrible, isn't it? I also feel for those women in the past that were shamed for not producing the requisite bloody sheets after their wedding nights.
My old roommate was convinced that women couldn't get their period until they "lost their virginity" because their hymen wouldn't let the blood out. He was in his late 20s. We just stared at him like 😳 "what?"
@@dejacavu6259 Really? We had so much fun in middle school because Hymen is also a Greek god of marriage and as such often appears in Molier plays to bless the pair of lovers. "Hymen says" and we all are rolling in laughter trying to imagine it.
I went to the gynaecologist for the first time when I was 16. When the Dr had to examine me she asked me if I was a virgin, I said yes (I had just had my first real kiss a few weeks prior) and her response was "We'll see about that". And after her painful examination she told me my hymen was slightly dislodged. Then came a series of questions about whether I'd ever been sexually assaulted (no). After the visit I cried in the stairwell because i just felt so uncomfortable.
That’s just gross of the gynaecologists, wtf? If you were uncomfortable or in pain at all during that exam she should have stopped immediately. Also, how could someone in charge of people’s health be so ignorant on how hymens work? Was she joking when she said “we’ll see about that”?? Even then, WHO DOES THAT with anyone, especially a kid who’s having their first visit and in a situation where they’re having such an invasive and uncomfortable exam?? I’m so sorry you had to go through that, that’s just disgusting, you should never have had to experience that
That's horrible. That doctor doesn't deserve to be in her position when she's not only giving bad care to patients but also doing things that could cause trauma. I hope you're doing better now and that any future doctors who you have are respectful and give you the level of care you deserve.
@@lizard3755 Not gonna lie, it took a while before I went to a gynaecologist again (like over a decade). My second visit was way better and I was so thankful for that.
I’ve literally had to argue with another woman that there were three holes, I ended up just giving up bc I didn’t want to seem rude in her own house. I’m just surprised she’s allowed to work at a pharmacy not knowing that there are three holes.
Ok, now I feel a little better. I was 18 when I learned that there were 3 holes. My 3 teen/adult kids are all taught proper sex ed and anatomy due to my lack up knowledge when I was younger. :)
I have 3 but my urethra comes out just inside my vagina. if I don’t push the tampon in far enough, I can’t pee. The tubes should be parallel but mine is a y.
So I had an imperforate hymen. One night after an unrelated surgery, I couldn’t urinate. We went to the ER thinking it was a bad side effect from the surgery. After about a week a doctor discovered I had an imperforate hymen and concluded I had had several cycles that were never able to come out and the accumulation of blood stopped me from being able to urinate. I’m all good now though!
Whoa. It is scary because it is rare and we are not able to know readily that is what is happening to us until we start suffering. Glad u r good and normal now.
Question, was it infected at all..?? Like that's what scares me about that thought, having an infection sealed behind a layer of skin inside of your most sensitive place full of organs. 😰
Having grown up in countries where female ‘virginity’ was prized above our innate humanity, I really appreciate you, as a specialist physician, taking control of the anatomical narrative, and using her platform to dispel falsehoods and cultural myths surrounding female anatomy & sexuality. Thank you MDJ!
Omg! "Sexual debut" is the coolest and most accurate descriptor ever! It also doesn't imply making some permanent change to the body. Or draw a weird arbitrary line between people who have had sex (as defined) zero times vs 1+ times.
I read a letter sent to a Dear Abby-type of column, written by a woman who had a lot of butt sex and erm, "mouth activity." She didn't have PIV sex, so she thought she was still a virgin.
Also, "sexual debut" makes it sound voluntary, not weird to not experience it, and makes me as a grey asexual feel less embarrassed and better about opting out of that choice.
The only slight issue I would have is that "debut" feels like it implies it will be something ongoing, which feels weird for me since I've been sexually active in the past but don't intend to be again in the future. But that's mostly just my personal hang up about my past experiences. Otherwise yeah it's a good term
“Pre-marital exams” are a big thing in Utah still. My in-laws insisted I go and I wouldn’t have except I was due for my annual anyway. They are so common it was an option in the drop down at the BYU health clinic I believe. Anyway I will never forget the gyn that did the exam. She basically used that drop down to mean “annual exam with a side of sex ed.” I super appreciated that my gyn was a “rebel” in that case, and I definitely needed the information she gave me.
@@EK-wi2me I don’t know if all of them are like this but it was basically just a pelvic exam plus a little bit of sex counseling. I also got a birth control prescription at the time, although I wish in hindsight we could discuss all the options there because I think I might have chosen an IUD or something instead of the pill, but overall it wasn’t traumatizing for me personally.
Thank you so much for addressing "virginity tests". I personally have been hurt by these gross tests and I know many other girls and women have been too. It's so important for professionals like you to say the quiet part out loud 🙏
As a woman, I had absolutely no idea that the hymen doesn't "break" when having sex. That's a pretty great thing to know because it just dispels all myths about virginity- it's not even physically accurate! 😍
Literally there’s no way to tell a woman has had sex before. You can see it if she gave birth, but if she’s never given birth or if she’s never been pregnant there’s no way to tell
TW: The worst part about the concept of virginity is when I hear sexual assault survivors say "I lost my virginity to rape". That's so sad to me because I was always tought that "virginity" is something u give. It can't be taken from u. My mom always made of point of saying that. Those words have comforted more people my life then I had ever thought would be necessary.
One of my friends was assaulted and she said that she didn't like sex and that it was terrible. I told her that she didn't have sex and that sex is between consenting parties with trust and respect for one another. She did have sex. She didn't quite understand what is said, but she's since gotten a boyfriend and they're very sexually active, so I think she understands what I meant now.
We just have to get rid of the concept of virginity. It’s a purity test imposed on us by men. If virginity can’t be taken in cases of rape, then there have been thousands (if not millions) of women who have given birth as virgins because historically, consent has never mattered to virginity. Our modern discomfort with the term should be an indication that the term itself needs to be rejected, not retooled into something more palatable. Especially when you look at how “gray” rape can be: there are women who, even decades later, come to realize a sexual encounter they experienced was assault because of the burden society imposes on them to prevent their own rape. Just reject it. It’s kind of icky, too, even at it’s most benign. To think that doing anything with another person for the first time irrevocably changes you. Even the term “sexual debut” implicitly values sexual activity done with another person over sexual activity done alone. That somehow the “best” sex, or “only sex that matters” is sex done with another person. It completely erases how most humans a) not only experience sex for the first time, but also b) how most humans get the majority of their sexual activity.
I agree with you. I too was mistreated as a child like that, and spent many years arguing that there's a difference between making love and rape. There's a huge difference between a criminal act and love .
Now if only some of my favourite FEMALE authors could understand this information and quit writing "sexual debut" scenes with the torn hymen trope, that would be fabulous.
Or the amateur stories that talk about over-endowed cis men with small inexperienced cis women [genuinely horrifying idea follows, trying to give anyone an option to opt out] ... who not only break a hymen but push through the cervix (generally with the implication that this extra ensures a pregnancy). #BadWomensAnatomy
I'm 40 years old and the whole hymen myth really messed me up when I was a teenager. I didn't experience pain or bleeding when I first had sex and it made me extremely self conscious about having sex again because I didn't know if I was going to bleed or not or what might happen. It wasn't until well after I had my son when I was 20 that I really learned about the hymen, and that was only when I was able to just look it up myself online because I wanted to know. It's INSANE that we don't do more to educate people about this basic part of the female anatomy
The problem with sex ed when I was in school, and this was a long time ago now, was that the boys and girls were separated into two different classes. What the heck? So as a boy I got educated about my own anatomy, fine, but there was very little about why that anatomy was the way it was. Luckily I had encyclopedias and parents that did not care what I looked at in the encyclopedias. I quickly learned exactly what the penis and vagina were for, how all those biomechanics worked. With that knowledge I had a healthy respect for how babies got made. Since those early days I was able to navigate sex without contracting an STD nor becoming a father until I was ready (nobody is ever really ready). Of course all the sexual mechanics aside, what matters most in becoming a man, is actually becoming a man and not just acting like it. What I mean by that is, do not be a jerk.
My first sex-ed class was in grade 6, around the turn of the millennium, and we also had segregated classes for this, which is a mistake. A man lucky enough not to have been kicked in the nuts can go through his entire life without having ANY cause to know what a vas deferens is, but we learned about it anyways. But most guys don't know jack about the female reproductive system, or it's associated issues, at all. And given that most of us will spend our lives around at least ONE woman, this shit is useful information to have.
I advocate for comprehensive sex ed and one of the things I always say is to have everybody in the room instead of segregating the class. It's just common sense.
@@EmmaJohnsonShenanigans You can look it up on a male reproductive diagram. TL;DR, it's the duct that runs from the testicles, through the bladder, and to the urethra. If you happen to be a guy unlucky enough to experience testicular torsion, you'll learn THAT pretty quickly.
Ripped mine while I was jumping horses when I was like 10. I was so excited cause I thought it was my period. Had to wait another 6 years for my period to come in. :D
My mom never told me about periods and so I thought I was dying when my first period happened. I'm trans so yeah, I know about these things from a personal perspective.
I had a microperforate hymen! Your videos actually helped me get the courage to talk to a doctor about it and get surgery to fix it last year! I'm glad to see a video about hymens, because more information might help someone like me who just thought I wasn't trying hard enough to break it.
Same. Found out when I was trying to get an exam after having absolutely awful cycles. It explained how I was able to bleed but the bleeding lasted for far longer than it should and with excessive other issues that kept me bed bound for however long it lasted. Having the physical exam to find that answered so many questions, then the removal kinda helped, but that's another story.
There is a lot of misinformation and rumors about this topic. Thank you Mama Doctor Jones, for being upfront as this topic does need to be talked about more in basic sex education.
@@kiwin7119 I completely agree with you. Our sex education was short and basic. I can remember a lot of people thought the hymen was broken from having fingers or a penis inserted during intercourse, usually during the first time. And having 3 holes was never mentioned at all!
Thank you for talking about this. I’ve never been sexually active before, so I hate the idea of being seeing as a virgin; and that my virginity is seen that is something I lose. I’m waiting until I’m ready to be sexually active. Thank you again for this.
@@carnystrickland4888 Yeah, me too. They make virginity out to be this big sacred thing; and that’s not to say that our first times shouldn’t be with someone special, it’s just that’s there’s so much shame/fear associated with it, on top of all this pressure to stay one until marriage. So yeah I can see why it’s so upsetting. I’m an adult still struggling with these feelings.
Good for you! Everyone should get to decide for themselves if and when they want to have sex, and no one should ever need to feel ashamed for what they choose. I hope that when you do find the right person and feel ready you'll have a great "debut"
I don't get the line about needing a hymen to prove rape. Honestly, it's very disturbing that this is still legal evidence of rape. Doing more research I found that NY assembly member Michaelle Solages has proposed a bill to ban practicioners from offering these inspections. I'm going to write my assembly representative. I encourage others to write to their politicians about this.
I recently had a kidney stone and I had to explain to partner that women do no pee out of their vigina. He commented to me that "it won't hurt for you to pass a kidney stone as it is designed to give birth to a baby"
Growing up I was always confused about the whole of having sex “pops your cherry” how does the mensural blood come out if you’re a virgin?! And one girl in the class asked “can you like go into the bathroom and pop your cherry yourself so that your partner doesn’t know your a virgin” and our teacher didn’t really have an answer for that. The person I learned that hymans don’t break whenever the person has sex for the first time was the male doctor who was examining me when I had finally “confessed” to my foster parents that I had been sexually abused. The doctor had noted that my hymen was intact but that that didn’t mean nothing happened and he explained the whole thing well including that he’s had pregnant teenage girls he has examined who’ve had intact hymen. They were able to say that medically even though my hymen was intact that there were other indications of trauma to the area that corroborated my claims.
My hymen broke from me falling down hard. The doctor tried to ask my mom if my dad molested me. He did nothing of that sort. It broke from a hard fall. That was it.
On the one hand, yes. But this is actually a very important question for the people who do get sexual abused. Way too often cover up stories are just ignored and way too many clinical symptoms are pushed aside. I'm sorry your father got falsely accused but know that by the doctor checking these things, they made the first step into protecting actual abuse victims.
@@laartje24 Asking if there's a possibility that the child was sexually abused would be understandable in this situation but asking if it was the father with no reason to suspect the father specifically doesn't make sense. Even if the child had been sexually abused that doesn't mean that the father did it. These kinds of situations should definitely be investigated but we shouldn't jump to conclusions or throw out accusations.
I can’t imagine how traumatic a “virginity” exam would be. I had my first OBGYN appointment when I was 24 and that was traumatic. This was my mom’s doctor and she (the doctor) had told me that we would just talk but when I got there she grilled me on my career choices (why?!) and told me I had to have an exam right now to check for cervical cancer. I did not know what to expect and it really hurt and when I told her it hurt and asked to stop she said that was normal for someone is a virgin. I am also neurodivergent and doctors appointments are stressful for me in general. Needless to say I never went back to that doctor again.
Given that most cervical cancers are caused by the HPV, which is typically sexually transmitted, I find it bizarre that the doctor insisted on a pelvic exam.
I thank my mom all the time for educating me early about sex ed, I wasn't surprised when I got my period, I didn't bleed or feel pain during my "sexual debut" as you put it, and I plan on doing the same for my kids in the future because I'm so grateful to have someone inform me instead of scare me.
Interesting how gynecologists here in Sweden completely stopped using "hymen" as a term. They're considering it part of the vagina, one of the "ribbed" areas inside.
Really hoping there is another term in German as well. „Jungfernhäutchen“ (Kind of like virgin-skin) is such a weird and outdated term. I‘ll have to look that up.
I remember reading once that a woman "losing" her virginity is less about her growth/change as a person and more about a man having the power to change a woman's "worth." So, desperately wanting to have some way to show a woman's worth (which is apparently tied to virginity), people who believe that crap use the hymen as the evidence. Meanwhile, the hymen's just like, "Yo, that's not my job." Also, if there is tearing and what not during sex (and not just the first time, but any time), it's probably because the person's not excited/lubricated enough. Ouch.
On top of not having enough lubrication (which is incredibly important!), people need to talk more about the fact that there needs to be enough foreplay for the vagina to get erect, and this can take a lot longer than a penile erection. I didn't really "get" this the first time I had penetrative sex and my partner kept hitting my cervix for the first few minutes (thankfully they were very attentive to my pain). Knowing that now makes it a lot more pleasurable for both of us.
@@amoureux6502 yes! Actually I hate the word foreplay bc it implies it's not as important as intercourse. I didn't learn til my late 20s that the clitorus is the biological equivalent to the penis made for pleasure where the vagina is simply to conceive/birth or for male pleasure. This needs to be taught to men that a few minutes of "foreplay" is not enough for most women to get there or be wet enougg. Not that intercourse is bad, it's just women need stimulation of the clit just like men need penile. I can't believe I didn't learn this til later in life
@@DanielleNicoleMakeup I agree, I think maybe "non-penetrative sex" might be a better term, especially since plenty of people don't enjoy penetration at all and only ever have the kind of sex that some people would consider "foreplay."
@@DanielleNicoleMakeup There isn’t actually any evidence that the clitoris is made for pleasure and fun while the vagina is meant for babies/male pleasure. Many women do find vaginal intercourse a pleasurable experience. And while the clitoris is pleasurable for most people that have one, it isn’t necessarily there for the purpose of pleasure. In theory the clitoris is unnecessary since it doesn’t help in the creation of babies. Some say the female orgasm serves no purpose biologically since it also doesn’t help make babies. No one really knows. All I know is that the clitoris is your best friend for a good night. Whether your male or female. And that if an orgasm happens, bonus! I do 100% agree that foreplay is def as important as the intercourse itself. Women do need time for the body to prepare itself. Plus I enjoy savouring my time and who I’m with. I got a lot to enjoy before intercourse after all.
@@jackbrax7808 for sure. It's interesting stuff isn't it? I would argue the vaginal canal is for babies/procreation and the clit for pleasure but we can agree to disagree. To clarify, I never said women don't also enjoy intercourse, just that most need foreplay in addition. The clitorus goes up inside the body much further than most ppl think (I didn't even know that til recently) so some may experience more or less vaginal pleasure. Overall the human body is pretty complex and there's a lot more to learn for sure
On the subject of 'virginity'. I remember everybody telling me I better make sure my first time was special because I would always remember it. I remember that, but I don't remember my first time at ALL. I wonder if there even was a 'first time', we probably just fooled around and got a little further each time as we got more comfortable. Honestly who cares, most people will go on to have sex thousands of times after that first time. We put way too much pressure on the 'first' time, you might just be like me and forget all about it anyway.
The whole "your first time is special" thing really cracks me up. I imagine, in most people's cases, it's totally awkward and forgettable. I know I don't remember my first time--just the night leading up to it. The sex itself is a total blank.
@@malindastevens1016 Came here with the same story. I am currently in treatment for ptsd. And a few weeks ago was the first time I had sex and I could enjoy it without any (TW) panic attacks or flashbacks. That is the memory I will treasure, not the first time. There are more important factors hen whether it was the first time or not.
Emily is literally my favorite person ever and it’s so cool that you reviewed this video! Everything that you and Em said was super informative and well presented
Thank you for this video! I am a teenager and just realised how severely lacking my sex ed was. All this time I've thought of the hymen as this barrier that's broken and pains and bleeds a lot when you have sex for the first time. This makes me feel way less apprehensive about that.
Keep in mind that some women's hymens cover more of the vagina than others. The hymen can in fact stretch, which is why you should be more careful the first time as it may not be stretched out (but as they said in this video, other things can stretch it too) but after a few times you don't have to. Of course just listen to your partner for feedback
I am so glad that you specifically say what the hymen is thought to be for. Before watching your rapper video I honestly didn’t know. And you reiterated it in this video too. I knew it was a BS way of finding out if someone had been sexually active. But this is the reason why I watch you. I find out something about my anatomy that I didn’t know before from someone who is both knowledgeable and non-condescending. Thanks MDJ
I know she did say a reason, but I have also read that that's just one theory and that the hymen may be vestigial. As she said, beyond that possibility we don't know what it might be for.
I heard that the hymen might there to prevent bacteria from entering the vagina before puberty because before puberty there is less vaginal discharge to flush out bacteria and stuff. That might be completely wrong but it's just something I heard.
That adam ruins everything video was basically my intro to sex ed. I distinctly remember my grandpa trying to have "the talk" with me when I was a tween and bringing up virginity and the hymen and i was very sassily correcting him.
Lmao. That's amazing. Glad you could be the one to educate him. Probably didn't do much, though ... Older people can be stuck in their ways and not open to change and new information. But humans in general tend to not like change. 🤷♀️
I'm a cis male and I learnt there were three holes in sex ed during my early teens. I honestly can't believe this kind of stuff isn't taught well in America.
I like your comment about experts “I have lungs” lol I am a girl and learned a bunch... I had almost zero sex/health education growing up and was raised in a very shy/conservative family so it was never discussed. Thank god for google but most of what I learned was first hand experience or from friends who weren’t always the most educated. Love your videos I learn so much
I have to admit, I am definitely not comfortable with the term "teenage women." That just sounds like a term a lawyer would use to garner sympathy for a pedo client accused of having sex with a minor. On the other hand, neither should they be infantilized, but I still think a different term should be used.
To me it only really makes sense when discussing the pregnant teenagers? But also there is such a gray area between when a female matures mentally and is socially recognized as being adult enough to make her own decisions, and when that same female is physically mature enough to reproduce. Fourteen and fifteen year old girls shouldn’t be having babies, but most of them are also capable of getting pregnant. Not to mention every other possibility.
Yeah, that phrasing bugged me, too. Like they were trying to “make it okay” that they were talking about teenagers having sex. And they just ended up awkwardly drawing attention to the fact that, well, teenagers AREN’T grown women.
I mean you also have 18 and 19 yearolds who are grown ups. And i get their still young but it would be infantlizing to some people. Lots people become adults as teens and legally everyone becomes an adult and are still teens.
When I heard teenage women I assumed she meant 18 and 19 year olds. They are legally adults but are still consider “teens”. I consider myself an adult teen at 19 because it’s in the name: nine-TEEN
Ever heard the term Young Adult? That's the same thing as saying teenage women or teens. Teens are often infantilized in today's culture when it comes to sexual activity, which is just an inevitable result of how concerned we are with issues of consent. We kinda need to acknowledge that Young Adults are a thing and that they aren't fully developed but also aren't as incapable of understanding sex as an actual child is.
"Just because you have a body part doesn't mean your an expert in it" love this... I am studying medicine and am continually amazed of the things I'm learning about the body. Like for example this last week I learned how the kidneys filters blood (and just the basics) and am amazed my body does all of this without me even knowing
I came across an article where women shared weird/funny/awesome things that had happened at the doctor's office. One woman shared the story of how her mother (or aunt, I can't remember) had dragged her as a teen to an ObGyn for a "virginity check". The doctor told the adult to wait outside during the exam, and began educating the teen on the female genitalia, the hymen and all that stuff. Doc didn't touch her. Doc did make it clear that "there's no such thing as 'losing your virginity', there's nothing to lose." Once the appointment was over, doc walked her to the door and flashed a smile at the mother: "Yup. She good!" and the mother believed the doctor. The woman who wrote the article chuckled at the memory of how proud her mother was that day, when the doctor had educated her and she didn't even know it.
The "human woman" joke is a little less about saying all women are experts in their body, and more about not letting men tell us we know nothing about our own bodies
Yeah, but I think what makes it sound dumb here is the guys weren't saying that. They were ignorant, but they never implied Emily didn't/shouldn't know stuff just because she's a woman, or anything like that.
They should if we don't. Majority of women know shit all about the female reproductive system and should stop acting like being a woman means you're all-knowing.
@@sparklyunicorn5431 Petition to refer to first times as "debuts" w/ no regard to the construct of virginity Edit: Typed that before MDJ brought it up too 🙃
Women's bodily autonomy is so important, but I hate how it's morphed into this idea that women are automatically experts. We have been the victims of poor education systems as well and that's how you get women bullying other women about their childbirth choices and trying to sell them hormone tea, etc.
I don't really see it as stating they are experts, rather stating that they inherently and anecdotally know more than men about their own bodies. Which generally should be true.
@@rdizzy1 ... Tell that to the women who don't know how their own vaginas work. I shit you not, there's some ladies I once knew (and stopped talking to for a reason) that legitimately didn't even know how their own reproductive systems worked beyond 'this big-dicked guy makes me feel good'
@@BrokensoulRider I'm 18, I had to tell one of my female friends earlier this year what a vulva was. And a few years ago I had to tell a different friend what a clitoris was. And the only reason I knew what these things were were bc of the internet. I'd never even heard the word hymen before seeing someone talk about it on yt in reference to menstrual cups and virginity. So yeah I agree, having female anatomy doesn't mean you know anything about it.
I am a man and found this very interesting. Having seen the Adam ruins everything episode I am excited to see an expert discuss the topic. I learned something today.
As a woman.. I had no idea this existed. I also had horrible parents and live in the Deep South so... I’m a little behind. This is why I watch this channel, I’ve learned so much AND REALIZED THAT I KNOW NOTHING.
I actually wrote an essay in Highschool titled "what is virginity" because The idea of virginity was harming my mental health due to trauma. Sadly i lost the draft, but it was basically saying that It was a stupid concept, and we dont even have a solid definition of 'what counts' in terms of virginity
Its not a stupid concept - in the past sex and marriage were a lot more connected than now days. Men wanted a virgin bride so they could be sure that any kids born will be his and his only. And for teen girls to get pregnant out of wedlock was a real concern. As it still is. Teens are stupid! We didnt have modern bird control pills or so easy to use condoms. Sex can be very life changing event and just the modern life made it seem like its just this fun activity we do. Dont get me wrong - Im very happy to be born in this times, but safe sex is pretty recent thing. So to change cultures and old notions that were usefull and valid for milenia is not gonna happen in a blink.
@@alexforce9 yeah, we know why it was invented, people argue that now when women have autonomy it's kind od useless and harmfull especially as its basis in biology are shaky. And as you point out safe sex exists so putting this overblown importance on it is unnecessary as long as people get good sex-ed.
@@alexforce9 People also used to wear lead makeup, dye their clothes with arsenic, and paint watches with radium. Not too long ago they thought tobacco was healthy. In a historical context it's understandable why the concept of virginity came about, but that doesn't mean that now, in the modern day, it's not a stupid concept. Insisting on carrying over a cultural relic that's been used primarily to justify abuse is about as sensical as suggesting we bring back Scheele's Green.
Because back in ancient Greek/Roman/Egyptian era, virgin sacrifice to appease the gods was how they solved practically every problem. Got a battle in the morning? Throw a virgin over a cliff.... And it just evolved from there.
As someone who has been shamed after her first time and called a liar (my hymen never broke, therefore, no blood during my first time - the guy said I lied about being a virgin and I "should've just told" him), thank you for explaining this to a broad audience. 27 years old, active sex life with my fiancé and hymen still intact. (Does that mean I can still be sacrificed in a volcano? Haha)
Growing up in a Christian family that was very against talking about sex or even just the anatomy of human generals I didn't know anything about the hymen until my fence told me about it a few months before our wedding. This is great information for understanding your own body and I wish I had been taught it as a teen.
When I had my sexual debut as a 19 year old, my boyfriend was so worried he'd hurt me and I'd bleed because I was a virgin. We were surprised when there was none. I know better now, but I should've been taught then.
Also, foreplay and being comfortable helps so much. My first time was 100% pain free. I was comfortable with my then bf now husband, and after several hours together, and at least half an hour of cuddling and kissing, my body was ready lol.
@@josephinenelan4204 Same. I had no discomfort my first time and i'm pretty sure that's cause we prepared well with foreplay. I also wasn't nervous and that would also help a lot.
We need to get rid of the word foreplay too bc it implies it's not as important as sexual intercourse where in reality foreplay is what gets most women off
@@nunpho Entourage was a tv show and then movie about a group of actors. From what I understand, the only female characters were basically scenery or one dimensional sexual conquests. Idk, I hated it so i only saw a few moments here and there
@@els1f Not just scenery or one dimensional, if I remember right several female characters were actually played by IRL pornstars. Even though its not that old and ended less than a decade ago IDK if a show like that could be made in todays climate lol.
I just watched your reaction to hymens (Adam ruins everything). I am part of the 0.05-0.1% of people who had an imporforate hymen into their teenage years... I had to have emergency surgery when I was ~17 because I had ~1 L of fluid in my uterus and had atypical presentation because my uterus grew up and back into my spine so I didn't have the typical distendedAbdomen. I was super thin and strong gymnast/dancer 5'7", 17, and 110lbs. By the time I went to the ED I had a UTI --> B Kidneys, and was constipated for a week. I didn't know it at the time, but my mom had an imporforated hymen when she was born, but my grandmother's doctor saw it and did the surgery when she was a baby so she didn't have any issues. Do you check baby girls for the rare incidence of imporforated hymens or does that fall under the domain of a pediatrician?
Men don't want to hear the hymen has a completely different function that's 100% for the woman's body (keeping poop out as an infant). Men truly want to believe it was designed for them.
@@mellie4174 I've found myself correctly referring to those specimens as "males". Males feel they're owed sex from women in exchange for basic kindness and respect, and that kindness and respect is revoked if not satiated. Those are males. They dehumanise women in calling them "females", it's a mutual respect.
I'm pretty sure that 99% of men don't give a toss about a woman's hymen, as in don't think it was designed for them. And I would suggest that the majority of men would prefer to not hurt a woman during her first sexual encounter either.
@@ruthugo9342 Traumatising virginity testing is common and rampant across the world, including in America, and these tests are NOT performed for the benefit of the woman. They are performed for men/potential men. Indonesia practices performing virginity tests on women recruits entering the police academy. They are performed in SCHOOLS in countries like Turkey, Egypt, and Morocco, and Iraq. One girl in Turkey killed herself after her principal performed a virginity test on her. It is NEVER to benefit the woman. Controlling fathers who feel they own their daughters bodies request them without any regard for the emotional scarring of her body being violated, that she’s been shown isn’t hers. It belongs to a man who’s controlling it for a future man(a husband) By the way, I’m a bloke, and a father to a daughter and a son.
My now deceased Sicilian mother (born in 1915) told us that in Sicily they used to hang white sheets out on the clothesline the day after the wedding. Supposedly, the blood stain on it was to prove the bride was a virgin. (I’m sure they always had extra pasta sauce on hand, just in case).
Well, we had that concept, but it was universally aknowledged that a noble lady can hurt herself while horse riding and a village woman while working or walking above a fence, so this sheet showing ritual doesntt proof anything.
Thank you for doing this video, Mama Doctor Jones. I know all too well that it's both men and women who don't understand these things. Now that I think about it, most women I've encountered, much less men, couldn't even tell you what the hymen is for. We have a lot of work to do.
I’ve heard of woman in cultures where the bleeding your first time thing is expected having to hide little sachets of blood up their vah-jay-jays so that they can make sure to bleed properly, and won’t be rejected as sexually impure by their new husbands. And, I personally was asked my first time, are you sure you were a virgin? Because, you took it pretty well... like, I’m sorry??? I didn’t know I was supposed to be crying or in pain or something the whole time... my bad??? Uhg.
Ive heard this too. It also makes me wonder how rough some men were being in order to cause enough bleeding to stain the sheets in order to create this myth in the first place??
@@elenapaints972 the men in question throughout most of history were also older in a developmentally significant way. There's a size component to some of that. The women weren't aroused in many cases. There are a lot of reasons. Female arousal is immoral. Female arousal means you are promiscuous. Women were also anxious and ignorant, mostly done deliberately, on that first night. Put those ingredients together and...tearing. On top of that, men of stature had to be seen as conquering and virile. I guess it was a symbol of their ruthless courage that they could put Tab A into Slot B.
@@arisucheddar3097 Yeah, definitely agree all those played a part. What I mean is you would have to have quite a lot of blood for it to end up on the sheets, which is a horrible prospect of how rough you would have to be to get that to happen (in general). Its awful that first time sex was supposed to be this violent tearing, painful experience for women, those myths still persist today. :(
It seems like my high school health elective (beyond the required course) did a pretty great job! Feel great about that. And it wasn’t weird to learn about. I should email her and thank her. Honestly, whenever I’m like, “do people not know this!?” It’s normally a result of my public school going the extra mile. Love it. Thanks for Sharing the info!
I feel this and your "Virginity Test" video go hand in hand and would benefit a few people I actually know. One of whom I had to argue/try to explain that using a tampon does not "take your virginity" when my teenage daughter wanted to try them over pads. I've self-taught a lot of the information I have surrounding sex and puberty ever since my period started age 11 (and felt very under-prepared for it despite a single lesson the year before on puberty), finding information in leaflets from doctors offices and hospitals, or searching the internet. However, while I knew a bit about the hymen, I've definitely learned more from this video. And I always seem to learn something new from your videos.
Thank you for doing this. And you’re right, Most women are going off of outdated (and incorrect) information so I really appreciated having a more entertaining way to educate my daughters and separate myth from fact.
YESSSSS I love you and your channel so much!! More people need to hear this! In my sex ed classes (which was 1-2 years ago) only covered the male reproductive system, the internal system for the women, and predominantly covered healthy relationships. We learned absolutely nothing about sex, except don't do it. You have taught me so much! Thank you for posting and educating the masses!
So storytime. As a teenager, I had a septate hymen. Not that I knew that's what it was until I was a LOT older. It made using tampons difficult as the little band of tissue would catch over the end of the expanded tampon. So I stopped using them, especially as I found they made my endometriosis pain worse. When I started having sex, I did so for months without any pain, bleeding or discomfort. But when I eventually slept with my next partner, I guess things lined up differently. Bye Bye band of tissue and cue two very surprised Pikachu faces. It just proves how arbitrary virginity and the presence of hymen tissue is.
This was an awesome reaction! I love your points that you made throughout the video. Also, you are not a narcissist lol You are lovely, likeable, relatable, and educational. One of my favorite channels
Mu sex Ed teacher was an mature woman who didn't care about being PC lol so she told us a story about her friend who had to surgically get her hymen "broken" and I'm glad I had her because it was nothing but the facts she gave mind you she was a PE teacher like school funding is not an excuse to not READ A BOOK!
My hymen (or whatever is left of it after 25 years of life) physically ached for a second with that damaged the balloon arch metaphor... I actually knew all this because I was.... How to say this as non graphically as possible.... Given consciousness altering and most likely illegal substances without my knowledge and then a number of nonconsensual sexual activities took place while I was under their influence. The person who did it was, at the time, my best friend and we were only 16 so my parents and their legal guardian their grandmother were involved in the aftermath and said grandmother wanted me to have a virginity test. Of course I didn't but I did see a doctor because of what happened and she very kindly educated me on pretty much everything that's mentioned here. But if that doctor didn't do that, I probably wouldn't have known much more than the health teacher here... My health class didn't teach us very much and really no one else did either....
If you don't mind me asking this: was it you friend who gave you those substances? If you don't want to answer, I totally get that. I hope you are alright now and I wish you the best.
@@GG-vl9xq I don't mind at all, and thank you for your kindness :) Yes, it was my friend. I'm still not 100% sure how he did it, but I know it was in my food. We had gone to McDonald's with his aunt and I was in the back seat of the car while he was up front. I didn't know that the aunt was ok with us eating in the car so I was just waiting till we got back to the house but then I noticed both of them eating so I asked for mine and he didn't want to give it to me. Eventually he did but I think that's when I ingested whatever it was. I know he was really good at slight of hand type of stuff so it's definitely believable that he could have done it then and no one noticed
Thank you so much for covering important things, even when its likely to get demonitized. Not a ton of us really understand what a hymen is (myself included, even as a human woman and mother).
My kids are lucky that I am the type of mom with no discussion being off-limits at any age. They are 21 and 23 now and come to me for anything. I have quizzed them here and there over the years about stuff I taught them and will clarify things. Both my kids know about the three orifices (I have a son and daughter). I’m pretty impressed that my son listened to me even if it may have been awkward. 😅
Another doctor (with admittedly way fewer subscribers) has made good video in response to that segment. Long story short, that segment was misleading in some pretty significant ways.
i think one of the best parts of the video is that Emily, who explains the hymen in this video, and Murph, the “how many holes do you have” guy are married in real life.
I went through what was then referred to as health class in 1975. I was in 10th grade, the class was required and I lived in Iowa. That class may have been taught by the Golf coach but hats off to him he took his class seriously and we did learn a lot! My how times have changed and not for the better! As a Labor and Delivery RN I cannot tell you how many times I have had to do the three hole teaching.
I literally did not know ANYTHING about hymens before this video. I'm 26 and never in my life have i had a proper sex education, not from school nor my parents or anywhere else. I'm definitely going to keep watching your videos.
I. like the fact that Adam was not the one explaining in this episode.. I get what you said about Adam saying to bring in an expert (which he does in episodes) but it feels like a slap in the face when he said it. I like the fact that she did not bring in an expert
I love Adam Ruins everything! This and a Ted Talk address this and I hope everyone gets a chance to see them to be informed and educated to stop this cycle
Oh my gosh same, I knew about virginity but I'd never heard of hymens until I saw someone on the internet debunking hymen myths as a teenager, none of which I'd ever heard of, bc I'd never heard of a hymen 😂 Edit: I've never had sex and I've never noticed any bleeding that could've potentially been from a broken hymen, so I've no idea if mine is "intact" or not lol.
Thank you for your great education, love everything about your teachings. This information deserves a repeat session for those who don’t understand through this type of teaching method. So much important information! ❤️
Definitely learned 'something' from this vid, specifically, every single point addressed. Entirely new information, and you (and the originators) have my gratitude!
Totally needed to watch this during work 😅 I don’t actually know “Adam ruins everything” but the clips you showed were entertaining! Love seeing you posted in my notifications! Take care of yourself and stay healthy:)
Adam Ruins Everything is hilarious!! Informative too. Besides this they tackled fertility and egg freezing, baby formula, and yes postpartum depression as well other topics that aren't ObGyn related.
I love Adam Ruins Everything - the cite all their sources and typically have experts in their respective field come on! They also have a episode about pregnancy!
This one in particular could've used some more information about what the purpose of the hymen really is. It was more about what it isn't, than what it is.
Love you love your channel. I just graduated nursing school and want to go into labor and delivery and eventually become a nurse midwife. I started watching you channel before I stated nursing school. I love the wealth of information you share and I still always learn something every time I watch it. Just shared this video on my Facebook because I feel that people a really miss informed about this. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us it’s truly appreciated. 😊❤️
I am a 52 yr.old women who learned alot from this video.When I went to school in 6th grade we were told the very basics about sex,and eventhough when I was older my mom discussed things with me she had alot of misinformation .She believed that you could lose your Virgjnity to a tampon.But my friends mother who was a nurse told me when I begun having periods that this was a myth.Thank you for educating people.
I had what my OBGYN called an imperforate hymen, but still was able to have my period. I was unable to use a tampon because the pain was simply too great. The surgery did wonders for me in multiple ways.
I have vaginismus, the effect is similar. There are no surgeries but self-administered physical therapy (might get to see someone about it in a few years, we’ll see) helps. I could probably use a small tampon but it would take a minute to get it in right.
"You're not losing something; you're gaining an experience." I'm adopting this
It also depends. My first time was definitely not a good experience. I definitely lost. He was a big mistake.
@YoungL I can tell you this much. I wish I would have waited longer. Most of us regret who we had our debuts with...
@YoungL said a mixture of blood, flesh, excrement, whatever-it-is etc. It must have been a hard time for you to be a human😢
That’s what I said to some male students in college and they just mocked me. I think they just love the thought of “taking” from a woman.
@@isamaracc Or being given something. I think giving it to that special person is something to be proud of. Or being able to brag about being a virgin. Most of us wish we could go back in time and take it back.
I'm really glad you pointed out the problem with "women are experts on hymens", an objection I've always had to this episode of ARE. The truth is that practically *nobody* gets proper education on this topic! I am a cis woman but I wasn't born knowing the info in this episode; I had to learn it just like everyone else.
I literally read a fanfiction yesterday by a grown woman that treated a little bleeding during the first sex as "normal". That's not normal, you should NEVER bleed from sex.
I'm a cis woman, and I wish I'd looked more carefully at my hymen. There doesn't seem to be a lot there now.
I'm really only beginning to realize how lucky I was to have a mother who is a nurse. Nothing about my body was ever mysterious to me, and I'm so grateful.
Although I completely agree, I think the point was supposed to be "stop invalidating women who talk about their bodies". I don't think they stuck the landing, but I do still think it's a good lesson to teach. There are, of course, plenty of women who do a poor job knowing their own bodies, too, so obviously listening to people who know their stuff is important. Just wanted to throw that out there.
@@Nakia11798 I was told by my doctor that bleeding during the first time and a few times after is very normal and common. You either do or don't. As long as it's not heavy like a period it's fine.
You’re not a narcissist, you should be proud of the work you’ve done to be an expert
She was joking.
R/whooosh my love
She was joking about being a narcissist, and she’s very proud of how much hard work she’s put into her career. Med school isn’t easy for anyone, and she had babies while she was in school.
Much respect from me.
Stop r/whooosh ing everything lmao she was just being nice
@@lilaxo442 I didn’t realise this post was “everything”. How foolish of me. Everything in it and it in Everything. How could I be so blind, yes this, this post is the personification of the idea we humans perceive as “everything”. And for me to r/whoosh this “everything” uh, I should just go sacrifice myself for being so blind that I r/whooshed the epitome of “everything”.
The issue i have with her is that she talks too much about child birth and not enough about other common issues. Things you don't know exist until it happens
When i was 4 years old i “broke” or wore away a lot of my hymen doing the splits in gymnastics. I ended up with a little blood in my underwear and my Mom took me to the doctor just to check up on everything. The doctor confirmed what my Mom suspected and we went on our way, my Mom having peace of mind it wasn’t anything abnormal. My Mom told my Grandmother about it who said that it meant i was no longer a virgin and wouldn’t be able to have a proper wedding night. My Grandmother is from an Eastern country so a lot of their views are quite old fashioned. My Mother was appalled that my Grandmother would even think something like that and thankfully explained to her how wrong she was.
It’s good that you know the truth. You don’t lose your virginity until you give consent and have sex with the person you gave consent to.
@@katsukibakugo9536 you don't lose your virginity -period*virginity is the most stupid concept made up by... well how do you know?!MEN! (a shocker, I know...)
The monkey bars took mine in a very painful and traumatic accident at school, and a boy's bike did the same to my cousin a few weeks later.
@@dgeneeknapp3168 I got bucked off a horse. The ground and I are married now ig
I fell really hard onto one of the seat side of a chair while painting my walls, guess I have to marry it now
It legit felt like my entire metaphorical peen shriveled inside of me, I was nauseous for 10 minutes afterward
My dad never taught me periods because he never bothered to understand it besides I bleed monthly and I have lots of pain. My sister explained the entire thing, in EXTREME detail, about a month before I actually started my first one, so when I seen blood I just yelled "DEV IM BLEEDING SO IM STEALING A PAD!" And she just went "COOL"
That's one of those things that those who don't live it don't understand it. They can try, but that's about it.
Oh so much more relaxed than my little sister😅 I had to figure out that stuff on my own (okay, I got some help by some girls from my year because I got my first period at school, and I knew a bit from sex ed), so I didn't understand the big deal my sister made out of this when she got her first period. I wasn't very helpful to her, I should've done better, but I also didn't get why she was crying because I didn't help her, even though I managed to figure that stuff out on my own. I didn't tell anyone in my family for several days.
@@solar0wind I don't remember learning about menstruation, it just happened and I knew it was normal. I slightly remember hearing about it in a bathroom in third grade, but I can't know for sure if that actually happened. I was 13 1/3 when I got my first one. I had made my own pads out of toilet paper. I didn't tell my mom until two years later when she finally thought she should mention it to me (during a car ride) because she thought it hadn't happened yet and that it must happen soon. She was heartbroken that I never told her but I was just like "yeah it's whatever." I also started shaving my legs when I was 11. I had taken an unopened replacement/cartridge for my mom's razor and just switched the tops out. I remember she was out front drunk with her friends one night by the fire and she said to a friend that she was wondering if she should get a razor for me, and then my mom felt my legs and said "no, you're good" ...but I had already been shaving for a year at that point. When she tried to have the period talk with me I cut her off and said I've had it for two years and that I also shave, and then a few days later a pack of disposable bic razors and generic pads showed up even though she had the expensive name brand stuff for herself. I didn't use the razors as disposable ones, since they were all I had. They rusted really quickly though so I had to dry them off. I've never been to an ob/gyn even though I'm almost 20 because I didn't have health insurance for a long time with her, and now that I'm living with my dad, he won't even give me my insurance cards, and keeps my personal legal documents (birth certificate/ssn card/vaccination records) locked in a safe. Any time I've asked for them he has said no and that I don't need them (even if I clearly do, for college or an employer). I ended up dropping out of college after one year because of depression and suicidal ideation and lost all of my scholarships. When I told my dad he was furious and called suicidal people weak, but there's nothing he can do to make me go back until I achieve personal stability and do it myself. I just recently got a job as a cake decorator, and my employer needed me to bring in my ssn card. I didn't think my dad would give it to me because he had never done so before, but this time he did and he hasn't asked for it back yet. Also just recently, I broke up with my fiance who I met online when I was 12 and he was just about to turn 15. When I was 12-14 he would ignore me for weeks until I'd send him nudes or a video of me doing... specific things... for him. I was essentially stockholmed. I'd do anything to see his face or hear his voice. When I was 16 I bought him a plane ticket and he lived with my mom for a year and then joined the army. He was very different in person, honestly a great guy other than what he did in the past, and he was just a dumb teenage boy at that point. But I just couldn't get over that past, and honestly shouldn't. He ended up failing basic training in the army and went back to his state to take care of his grandma where he still is. This time long distance he never asked for anything sexual from me (ever) but instead would repeatedly tell me that I hate him, just to hear me fight it. It was so draining. Anyway, I'm mentioning him because one of the first times he asked me to do something in a video call for him he said "I hope you didn't break your hymen" because there was a little bit of blood and I hadn't had a period before. I remember saying "I don't think I broke anything," because I had never even heard of hymens. I didn't learn what they were or where they were until 7th grade sex ed class, and they didn't explain it well at all, I was so embarrassed just sitting there thinking I don't even have one anymore and have never seen it.
This is why I, as a cis male, am subscribed to a gynecologist's TH-cam channel. I may not have these body parts, but this is still USEFUL information to have.
YESSS I WISH I HAD A SISTER FOR THIS REASONNNNN LIKE, YALL WERE SO COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER
Not only was my sex ed was basically "don't do it, or you will get a nasty disease" followed by graphic pictures of STIs, but my biology teacher wasn't allowed to teach the reproductive system, so I've been learning all kinds of things as an adult. Thanks for your videos, MDJ!
My sex ed teacher said a man's penis could get stuck in a vagina if they both had piercings. I dont know how many errors I have to point out in that statement, but the stupidity seems self evident
@@darkshadowrule2952 there´s an episode on Grey´s Anatomy that states the same thing, I believe...
@@purplexninjamom sincerely hope that's not where our teacher was getting information, but she was after all a special ed teacher, not a health teacher. I dunno what our school was thinking tbh
If you don't mind me asking, how old are you and where did you go to school? I'm just curious.
@@darkshadowrule2952 Yeah, I hope so, too. I meant... Wow, it´s in Grey´s Anatomy, that could send the wrong message to casual viewers.
The whole "losing virginity" thing screws up kids who are sexually abused.
THIS!!
YES. I’ve had a lot of conversations with folks who’ve been assaulted where I’ve basically said that if virginity is an important concept to you, you get to define whether you are that or not. It’s an entirely mythic concept and not something that someone can take away from you, no matter what happens to you. Had to give myself the same speech, too.
It screws up women in general because ‘impure’ etc etc but abused girls have it the absolute worst. Sexual debut from here on out!
Its horrible, isn't it? I also feel for those women in the past that were shamed for not producing the requisite bloody sheets after their wedding nights.
@@BeerElf66 , sadly some religions still believe this. :(
My old roommate was convinced that women couldn't get their period until they "lost their virginity" because their hymen wouldn't let the blood out.
He was in his late 20s. We just stared at him like 😳 "what?"
That's crazy, one of my friends had her period in the 4th grade, that is horrifying to think about with his logic!
My cousin got hers at 8 so um..
Im 60 and didnt know the word hymen ! LOL
@@dejacavu6259 Really? We had so much fun in middle school because Hymen is also a Greek god of marriage and as such often appears in Molier plays to bless the pair of lovers. "Hymen says" and we all are rolling in laughter trying to imagine it.
Ignorant people like this scares me a lot: the damage they can do.... And they have the right to vote and drive cars.
I went to the gynaecologist for the first time when I was 16. When the Dr had to examine me she asked me if I was a virgin, I said yes (I had just had my first real kiss a few weeks prior) and her response was "We'll see about that". And after her painful examination she told me my hymen was slightly dislodged. Then came a series of questions about whether I'd ever been sexually assaulted (no). After the visit I cried in the stairwell because i just felt so uncomfortable.
That's horrible. So sorry you experienced that
That’s just gross of the gynaecologists, wtf? If you were uncomfortable or in pain at all during that exam she should have stopped immediately. Also, how could someone in charge of people’s health be so ignorant on how hymens work? Was she joking when she said “we’ll see about that”?? Even then, WHO DOES THAT with anyone, especially a kid who’s having their first visit and in a situation where they’re having such an invasive and uncomfortable exam?? I’m so sorry you had to go through that, that’s just disgusting, you should never have had to experience that
I'm so sorry that happened to you!! That I'd an absolute violation and you should never have been treated like that.
That's horrible. That doctor doesn't deserve to be in her position when she's not only giving bad care to patients but also doing things that could cause trauma. I hope you're doing better now and that any future doctors who you have are respectful and give you the level of care you deserve.
@@lizard3755 Not gonna lie, it took a while before I went to a gynaecologist again (like over a decade). My second visit was way better and I was so thankful for that.
I’ve literally had to argue with another woman that there were three holes, I ended up just giving up bc I didn’t want to seem rude in her own house. I’m just surprised she’s allowed to work at a pharmacy not knowing that there are three holes.
I don't know how some people function when they're that stupid and unwilling to learn.
Tell her to read a tampon instruction
Ok, now I feel a little better. I was 18 when I learned that there were 3 holes. My 3 teen/adult kids are all taught proper sex ed and anatomy due to my lack up knowledge when I was younger. :)
OMG 😲 😆
I have 3 but my urethra comes out just inside my vagina. if I don’t push the tampon in far enough, I can’t pee. The tubes should be parallel but mine is a y.
So I had an imperforate hymen. One night after an unrelated surgery, I couldn’t urinate. We went to the ER thinking it was a bad side effect from the surgery. After about a week a doctor discovered I had an imperforate hymen and concluded I had had several cycles that were never able to come out and the accumulation of blood stopped me from being able to urinate. I’m all good now though!
Whoa. It is scary because it is rare and we are not able to know readily that is what is happening to us until we start suffering. Glad u r good and normal now.
That hurt to read and I'm a man.
I am so glad you found the medical treatment you needed.
I'm so glad I have a penis when I hear all the things that can go wrong with vaginas and uterus es
Question, was it infected at all..??
Like that's what scares me about that thought, having an infection sealed behind a layer of skin inside of your most sensitive place full of organs. 😰
@@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kitty no infection luckily!
Having grown up in countries where female ‘virginity’ was prized above our innate humanity, I really appreciate you, as a specialist physician, taking control of the anatomical narrative, and using her platform to dispel falsehoods and cultural myths surrounding female anatomy & sexuality. Thank you MDJ!
Omg! "Sexual debut" is the coolest and most accurate descriptor ever! It also doesn't imply making some permanent change to the body. Or draw a weird arbitrary line between people who have had sex (as defined) zero times vs 1+ times.
I read a letter sent to a Dear Abby-type of column, written by a woman who had a lot of butt sex and erm, "mouth activity." She didn't have PIV sex, so she thought she was still a virgin.
Also, "sexual debut" makes it sound voluntary, not weird to not experience it, and makes me as a grey asexual feel less embarrassed and better about opting out of that choice.
@@kiwin7119 As another asexual, I agree with you, "sexual debut" sounds voluntary. It makes me feel more comfortable using that term for myself.
The only slight issue I would have is that "debut" feels like it implies it will be something ongoing, which feels weird for me since I've been sexually active in the past but don't intend to be again in the future. But that's mostly just my personal hang up about my past experiences. Otherwise yeah it's a good term
@@gtickno2946 "debut" also insinuates that it's a performance or a spectator event.
“Pre-marital exams” are a big thing in Utah still. My in-laws insisted I go and I wouldn’t have except I was due for my annual anyway. They are so common it was an option in the drop down at the BYU health clinic I believe. Anyway I will never forget the gyn that did the exam. She basically used that drop down to mean “annual exam with a side of sex ed.” I super appreciated that my gyn was a “rebel” in that case, and I definitely needed the information she gave me.
How is it legal?! Makes me so upset 1. It’s not the parent business 2. Not based on science
They're horrible in-laws. Did the son go for that too. Cause his weewee also needs some checking then.
What did she do exactly? This is wild
@@EK-wi2me I don’t know if all of them are like this but it was basically just a pelvic exam plus a little bit of sex counseling. I also got a birth control prescription at the time, although I wish in hindsight we could discuss all the options there because I think I might have chosen an IUD or something instead of the pill, but overall it wasn’t traumatizing for me personally.
@@EK-wi2me oh and she gave me a prescription for antibiotics in case of UTI on the honeymoon, which I never used.
Thank you so much for addressing "virginity tests". I personally have been hurt by these gross tests and I know many other girls and women have been too. It's so important for professionals like you to say the quiet part out loud 🙏
As a woman, I had absolutely no idea that the hymen doesn't "break" when having sex. That's a pretty great thing to know because it just dispels all myths about virginity- it's not even physically accurate! 😍
Literally there’s no way to tell a woman has had sex before. You can see it if she gave birth, but if she’s never given birth or if she’s never been pregnant there’s no way to tell
@@lilaxo442 And technically even if she has been pregnant/given birth it's still possible for her to be a virgin so legit there is no way to tell lol
@@oliverfloof6824 righttt I even forgot to mention that
@@oliverfloof6824 How is that if she is not Virgin Mary?
@@mirnacudiczgela1963 ~artificial insemination~
TW:
The worst part about the concept of virginity is when I hear sexual assault survivors say "I lost my virginity to rape". That's so sad to me because I was always tought that "virginity" is something u give. It can't be taken from u. My mom always made of point of saying that. Those words have comforted more people my life then I had ever thought would be necessary.
One of my friends was assaulted and she said that she didn't like sex and that it was terrible. I told her that she didn't have sex and that sex is between consenting parties with trust and respect for one another. She did have sex. She didn't quite understand what is said, but she's since gotten a boyfriend and they're very sexually active, so I think she understands what I meant now.
We just have to get rid of the concept of virginity. It’s a purity test imposed on us by men. If virginity can’t be taken in cases of rape, then there have been thousands (if not millions) of women who have given birth as virgins because historically, consent has never mattered to virginity. Our modern discomfort with the term should be an indication that the term itself needs to be rejected, not retooled into something more palatable. Especially when you look at how “gray” rape can be: there are women who, even decades later, come to realize a sexual encounter they experienced was assault because of the burden society imposes on them to prevent their own rape.
Just reject it. It’s kind of icky, too, even at it’s most benign. To think that doing anything with another person for the first time irrevocably changes you. Even the term “sexual debut” implicitly values sexual activity done with another person over sexual activity done alone. That somehow the “best” sex, or “only sex that matters” is sex done with another person. It completely erases how most humans a) not only experience sex for the first time, but also b) how most humans get the majority of their sexual activity.
I considered my virginity the first time I willingly had sex so I totally understand
this is very well said. Virginity is a concept, just like freedom, etc. Its not something that anyone is in power to really take away from somebody.
I agree with you. I too was mistreated as a child like that, and spent many years arguing that there's a difference between making love and rape. There's a huge difference between a criminal act and love .
Now if only some of my favourite FEMALE authors could understand this information and quit writing "sexual debut" scenes with the torn hymen trope, that would be fabulous.
Agree 1000%. Cannot believe this trope is still in use in modern romance writing.
Yes! I used to love a book, but now the more I read it, the worse it gets.
Or the amateur stories that talk about over-endowed cis men with small inexperienced cis women
[genuinely horrifying
idea follows,
trying to give
anyone an
option to opt out]
... who not only break a hymen but push through the cervix (generally with the implication that this extra ensures a pregnancy). #BadWomensAnatomy
It does happen though.
@@tamarleahh.2150 I'm just hoping you're not replying to me here.
I'm 40 years old and the whole hymen myth really messed me up when I was a teenager. I didn't experience pain or bleeding when I first had sex and it made me extremely self conscious about having sex again because I didn't know if I was going to bleed or not or what might happen. It wasn't until well after I had my son when I was 20 that I really learned about the hymen, and that was only when I was able to just look it up myself online because I wanted to know. It's INSANE that we don't do more to educate people about this basic part of the female anatomy
I doubt your husband cared ab your hymen. Ppl blow the myth out of perception
The problem with sex ed when I was in school, and this was a long time ago now, was that the boys and girls were separated into two different classes. What the heck? So as a boy I got educated about my own anatomy, fine, but there was very little about why that anatomy was the way it was. Luckily I had encyclopedias and parents that did not care what I looked at in the encyclopedias. I quickly learned exactly what the penis and vagina were for, how all those biomechanics worked. With that knowledge I had a healthy respect for how babies got made. Since those early days I was able to navigate sex without contracting an STD nor becoming a father until I was ready (nobody is ever really ready). Of course all the sexual mechanics aside, what matters most in becoming a man, is actually becoming a man and not just acting like it. What I mean by that is, do not be a jerk.
With one comment, you have broken my belief that all Scotts are jerks. Llap (I think you’re old enough to grok that reference).
My first sex-ed class was in grade 6, around the turn of the millennium, and we also had segregated classes for this, which is a mistake. A man lucky enough not to have been kicked in the nuts can go through his entire life without having ANY cause to know what a vas deferens is, but we learned about it anyways. But most guys don't know jack about the female reproductive system, or it's associated issues, at all. And given that most of us will spend our lives around at least ONE woman, this shit is useful information to have.
I advocate for comprehensive sex ed and one of the things I always say is to have everybody in the room instead of segregating the class. It's just common sense.
@@BlackEpyon what’s a vas deferens?
Edit:I spelled it as derens lol
@@EmmaJohnsonShenanigans You can look it up on a male reproductive diagram. TL;DR, it's the duct that runs from the testicles, through the bladder, and to the urethra. If you happen to be a guy unlucky enough to experience testicular torsion, you'll learn THAT pretty quickly.
Ripped mine while I was jumping horses when I was like 10. I was so excited cause I thought it was my period. Had to wait another 6 years for my period to come in. :D
I think I broke mine with a tampon when I was 12.
Excited being TEN for your period?
Can't relate 🤣
I’m pretty sure mine broke doing Taekwon-Do 😂
My mom never told me about periods and so I thought I was dying when my first period happened. I'm trans so yeah, I know about these things from a personal perspective.
@@CorgiDaddy2 yeah those types of parents are idiots there's a ton of reddit stories about idiot parents not telling their kids about periods
I had a microperforate hymen! Your videos actually helped me get the courage to talk to a doctor about it and get surgery to fix it last year! I'm glad to see a video about hymens, because more information might help someone like me who just thought I wasn't trying hard enough to break it.
I had the same, had to have it surgically removed, there was no way I could break it
Similar, but I had a septate hymen. Did need surgery as there was no way to break that thing without a scalpel.
@@kw7378a1 I had a septate hymen but mine was probably thinner than yours, I cut it myself at home😂
Same. Found out when I was trying to get an exam after having absolutely awful cycles. It explained how I was able to bleed but the bleeding lasted for far longer than it should and with excessive other issues that kept me bed bound for however long it lasted. Having the physical exam to find that answered so many questions, then the removal kinda helped, but that's another story.
@@haydeltae5887 that sounds very painful
There is a lot of misinformation and rumors about this topic. Thank you Mama Doctor Jones, for being upfront as this topic does need to be talked about more in basic sex education.
My high school had pretty thorough classes about STIs and such, but they NEVER mentioned that females have 3 holes, or about hymens.
@@kiwin7119 I completely agree with you. Our sex education was short and basic. I can remember a lot of people thought the hymen was broken from having fingers or a penis inserted during intercourse, usually during the first time. And having 3 holes was never mentioned at all!
@@kiwin7119 in my sex ed classes there was some discussion about anatomy but there were definitely things left out like the hymen and clitoris.
Thank you for talking about this. I’ve never been sexually active before, so I hate the idea of being seeing as a virgin; and that my virginity is seen that is something I lose. I’m waiting until I’m ready to be sexually active. Thank you again for this.
Me too. Feel upset about it sometimes.
@@carnystrickland4888 Yeah, me too. They make virginity out to be this big sacred thing; and that’s not to say that our first times shouldn’t be with someone special, it’s just that’s there’s so much shame/fear associated with it, on top of all this pressure to stay one until marriage. So yeah I can see why it’s so upsetting. I’m an adult still struggling with these feelings.
I personally hate still being a virgi/n purely because I know when men find out they feti/shize me.
@@jadecoolness101 Oh my goodness I completely understand! I’ve experienced that too! It’s so annoying
Good for you! Everyone should get to decide for themselves if and when they want to have sex, and no one should ever need to feel ashamed for what they choose. I hope that when you do find the right person and feel ready you'll have a great "debut"
I don't get the line about needing a hymen to prove rape. Honestly, it's very disturbing that this is still legal evidence of rape. Doing more research I found that NY assembly member Michaelle Solages has proposed a bill to ban practicioners from offering these inspections. I'm going to write my assembly representative. I encourage others to write to their politicians about this.
Removing those would have a huge impact on rape convictions though.
@@vanderbam2741 the "inspection " is primarily about looking for bruising, tearing, and other injuries found with sexual assaults.
I recently had a kidney stone and I had to explain to partner that women do no pee out of their vigina. He commented to me that "it won't hurt for you to pass a kidney stone as it is designed to give birth to a baby"
You spelled vagina wrong
Has he, um, not ever spent any quality time face-to-vulva?
I mean, it's not like passing a baby through there is painless either 😬
Omg! What a loon!
🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Growing up I was always confused about the whole of having sex “pops your cherry” how does the mensural blood come out if you’re a virgin?! And one girl in the class asked “can you like go into the bathroom and pop your cherry yourself so that your partner doesn’t know your a virgin” and our teacher didn’t really have an answer for that. The person I learned that hymans don’t break whenever the person has sex for the first time was the male doctor who was examining me when I had finally “confessed” to my foster parents that I had been sexually abused. The doctor had noted that my hymen was intact but that that didn’t mean nothing happened and he explained the whole thing well including that he’s had pregnant teenage girls he has examined who’ve had intact hymen. They were able to say that medically even though my hymen was intact that there were other indications of trauma to the area that corroborated my claims.
My hymen broke from me falling down hard. The doctor tried to ask my mom if my dad molested me. He did nothing of that sort. It broke from a hard fall. That was it.
That is terrible that the doctor did that.
On the one hand, yes. But this is actually a very important question for the people who do get sexual abused. Way too often cover up stories are just ignored and way too many clinical symptoms are pushed aside. I'm sorry your father got falsely accused but know that by the doctor checking these things, they made the first step into protecting actual abuse victims.
Mine did also at around 4 i fell into a shopping basket hard and was bleeding crazy.smdh
@@laartje24 Asking if there's a possibility that the child was sexually abused would be understandable in this situation but asking if it was the father with no reason to suspect the father specifically doesn't make sense. Even if the child had been sexually abused that doesn't mean that the father did it. These kinds of situations should definitely be investigated but we shouldn't jump to conclusions or throw out accusations.
Mine broke horseback riding. I asked my mom why I bled after riding and she explained.
I can’t imagine how traumatic a “virginity” exam would be. I had my first OBGYN appointment when I was 24 and that was traumatic. This was my mom’s doctor and she (the doctor) had told me that we would just talk but when I got there she grilled me on my career choices (why?!) and told me I had to have an exam right now to check for cervical cancer. I did not know what to expect and it really hurt and when I told her it hurt and asked to stop she said that was normal for someone is a virgin. I am also neurodivergent and doctors appointments are stressful for me in general. Needless to say I never went back to that doctor again.
Given that most cervical cancers are caused by the HPV, which is typically sexually transmitted, I find it bizarre that the doctor insisted on a pelvic exam.
I thank my mom all the time for educating me early about sex ed, I wasn't surprised when I got my period, I didn't bleed or feel pain during my "sexual debut" as you put it, and I plan on doing the same for my kids in the future because I'm so grateful to have someone inform me instead of scare me.
Interesting how gynecologists here in Sweden completely stopped using "hymen" as a term. They're considering it part of the vagina, one of the "ribbed" areas inside.
Vaginal corona in English, slidkrans in Swedish
It makes way more sense that way.
@@Ikajo omg, I had no idea there was a name for that bit
@@Ikajo Hmm, coronal discharge sounds differently now in my head then.
Really hoping there is another term in German as well. „Jungfernhäutchen“ (Kind of like virgin-skin) is such a weird and outdated term. I‘ll have to look that up.
I remember reading once that a woman "losing" her virginity is less about her growth/change as a person and more about a man having the power to change a woman's "worth." So, desperately wanting to have some way to show a woman's worth (which is apparently tied to virginity), people who believe that crap use the hymen as the evidence. Meanwhile, the hymen's just like, "Yo, that's not my job." Also, if there is tearing and what not during sex (and not just the first time, but any time), it's probably because the person's not excited/lubricated enough. Ouch.
On top of not having enough lubrication (which is incredibly important!), people need to talk more about the fact that there needs to be enough foreplay for the vagina to get erect, and this can take a lot longer than a penile erection. I didn't really "get" this the first time I had penetrative sex and my partner kept hitting my cervix for the first few minutes (thankfully they were very attentive to my pain). Knowing that now makes it a lot more pleasurable for both of us.
@@amoureux6502 yes! Actually I hate the word foreplay bc it implies it's not as important as intercourse. I didn't learn til my late 20s that the clitorus is the biological equivalent to the penis made for pleasure where the vagina is simply to conceive/birth or for male pleasure. This needs to be taught to men that a few minutes of "foreplay" is not enough for most women to get there or be wet enougg. Not that intercourse is bad, it's just women need stimulation of the clit just like men need penile. I can't believe I didn't learn this til later in life
@@DanielleNicoleMakeup I agree, I think maybe "non-penetrative sex" might be a better term, especially since plenty of people don't enjoy penetration at all and only ever have the kind of sex that some people would consider "foreplay."
@@DanielleNicoleMakeup There isn’t actually any evidence that the clitoris is made for pleasure and fun while the vagina is meant for babies/male pleasure. Many women do find vaginal intercourse a pleasurable experience. And while the clitoris is pleasurable for most people that have one, it isn’t necessarily there for the purpose of pleasure. In theory the clitoris is unnecessary since it doesn’t help in the creation of babies. Some say the female orgasm serves no purpose biologically since it also doesn’t help make babies. No one really knows. All I know is that the clitoris is your best friend for a good night. Whether your male or female. And that if an orgasm happens, bonus!
I do 100% agree that foreplay is def as important as the intercourse itself. Women do need time for the body to prepare itself. Plus I enjoy savouring my time and who I’m with. I got a lot to enjoy before intercourse after all.
@@jackbrax7808 for sure. It's interesting stuff isn't it? I would argue the vaginal canal is for babies/procreation and the clit for pleasure but we can agree to disagree. To clarify, I never said women don't also enjoy intercourse, just that most need foreplay in addition. The clitorus goes up inside the body much further than most ppl think (I didn't even know that til recently) so some may experience more or less vaginal pleasure. Overall the human body is pretty complex and there's a lot more to learn for sure
On the subject of 'virginity'. I remember everybody telling me I better make sure my first time was special because I would always remember it. I remember that, but I don't remember my first time at ALL. I wonder if there even was a 'first time', we probably just fooled around and got a little further each time as we got more comfortable. Honestly who cares, most people will go on to have sex thousands of times after that first time. We put way too much pressure on the 'first' time, you might just be like me and forget all about it anyway.
The whole "your first time is special" thing really cracks me up. I imagine, in most people's cases, it's totally awkward and forgettable. I know I don't remember my first time--just the night leading up to it. The sex itself is a total blank.
I wish I could forget the first time I had a sexual experience, of course mine wasn't exactly willing.
@@malindastevens1016 Came here with the same story. I am currently in treatment for ptsd. And a few weeks ago was the first time I had sex and I could enjoy it without any (TW) panic attacks or flashbacks. That is the memory I will treasure, not the first time. There are more important factors hen whether it was the first time or not.
@@laartje24 I’m so sorry. I hope your treatment is going well!
@@malindastevens1016 Yeah same here. Hard to forget when it's that way.
Emily is literally my favorite person ever and it’s so cool that you reviewed this video! Everything that you and Em said was super informative and well presented
Thank you for this video! I am a teenager and just realised how severely lacking my sex ed was. All this time I've thought of the hymen as this barrier that's broken and pains and bleeds a lot when you have sex for the first time. This makes me feel way less apprehensive about that.
When I first heard it described as a barrier, I imagined two big () shaped balloons tied together at the top and bottom
Keep in mind that some women's hymens cover more of the vagina than others. The hymen can in fact stretch, which is why you should be more careful the first time as it may not be stretched out (but as they said in this video, other things can stretch it too) but after a few times you don't have to. Of course just listen to your partner for feedback
Now you have to do "Adam Ruins Childbirth."
YES!!!
100%!!! Great suggestion!
Yes!!!!
Yes, great idea!
He didn't do a childbirth video though...
I am so glad that you specifically say what the hymen is thought to be for. Before watching your rapper video I honestly didn’t know. And you reiterated it in this video too. I knew it was a BS way of finding out if someone had been sexually active. But this is the reason why I watch you. I find out something about my anatomy that I didn’t know before from someone who is both knowledgeable and non-condescending. Thanks MDJ
I know she did say a reason, but I have also read that that's just one theory and that the hymen may be vestigial. As she said, beyond that possibility we don't know what it might be for.
I heard that the hymen might there to prevent bacteria from entering the vagina before puberty because before puberty there is less vaginal discharge to flush out bacteria and stuff. That might be completely wrong but it's just something I heard.
That adam ruins everything video was basically my intro to sex ed. I distinctly remember my grandpa trying to have "the talk" with me when I was a tween and bringing up virginity and the hymen and i was very sassily correcting him.
Lmao. That's amazing. Glad you could be the one to educate him. Probably didn't do much, though ... Older people can be stuck in their ways and not open to change and new information. But humans in general tend to not like change. 🤷♀️
PREACH!!! THIS MESSAGE NEEDS TO BE TAUGHT EVERWHERE AND TO EVERYONE!!
I'm a cis male and I learnt there were three holes in sex ed during my early teens. I honestly can't believe this kind of stuff isn't taught well in America.
Right after the "how many holes do you have?" part it then transitioned to a gardening advert with a girl who held both her hands up 🤣 10!!! I died. 💀
😂
If you count all round the body.. mouth, nostrils, ears makes 8... do eyes count?
Mine was about some dude talking about toxic poop 😳
@@Farimira tear ducts!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
I like your comment about experts “I have lungs” lol I am a girl and learned a bunch... I had almost zero sex/health education growing up and was raised in a very shy/conservative family so it was never discussed. Thank god for google but most of what I learned was first hand experience or from friends who weren’t always the most educated. Love your videos I learn so much
I have to admit, I am definitely not comfortable with the term "teenage women." That just sounds like a term a lawyer would use to garner sympathy for a pedo client accused of having sex with a minor.
On the other hand, neither should they be infantilized, but I still think a different term should be used.
To me it only really makes sense when discussing the pregnant teenagers? But also there is such a gray area between when a female matures mentally and is socially recognized as being adult enough to make her own decisions, and when that same female is physically mature enough to reproduce. Fourteen and fifteen year old girls shouldn’t be having babies, but most of them are also capable of getting pregnant. Not to mention every other possibility.
Yeah, that phrasing bugged me, too. Like they were trying to “make it okay” that they were talking about teenagers having sex. And they just ended up awkwardly drawing attention to the fact that, well, teenagers AREN’T grown women.
I mean you also have 18 and 19 yearolds who are grown ups. And i get their still young but it would be infantlizing to some people. Lots people become adults as teens and legally everyone becomes an adult and are still teens.
When I heard teenage women I assumed she meant 18 and 19 year olds. They are legally adults but are still consider “teens”. I consider myself an adult teen at 19 because it’s in the name: nine-TEEN
Ever heard the term Young Adult? That's the same thing as saying teenage women or teens. Teens are often infantilized in today's culture when it comes to sexual activity, which is just an inevitable result of how concerned we are with issues of consent. We kinda need to acknowledge that Young Adults are a thing and that they aren't fully developed but also aren't as incapable of understanding sex as an actual child is.
"Just because you have a body part doesn't mean your an expert in it" love this... I am studying medicine and am continually amazed of the things I'm learning about the body. Like for example this last week I learned how the kidneys filters blood (and just the basics) and am amazed my body does all of this without me even knowing
*you're
I came across an article where women shared weird/funny/awesome things that had happened at the doctor's office. One woman shared the story of how her mother (or aunt, I can't remember) had dragged her as a teen to an ObGyn for a "virginity check". The doctor told the adult to wait outside during the exam, and began educating the teen on the female genitalia, the hymen and all that stuff. Doc didn't touch her. Doc did make it clear that "there's no such thing as 'losing your virginity', there's nothing to lose." Once the appointment was over, doc walked her to the door and flashed a smile at the mother: "Yup. She good!" and the mother believed the doctor. The woman who wrote the article chuckled at the memory of how proud her mother was that day, when the doctor had educated her and she didn't even know it.
The "human woman" joke is a little less about saying all women are experts in their body, and more about not letting men tell us we know nothing about our own bodies
True
@@CorinneA3 memento mori
YEP.
Yeah, but I think what makes it sound dumb here is the guys weren't saying that. They were ignorant, but they never implied Emily didn't/shouldn't know stuff just because she's a woman, or anything like that.
They should if we don't. Majority of women know shit all about the female reproductive system and should stop acting like being a woman means you're all-knowing.
I was always confused that I never had any blood when I first had sex as a teen. Good to know it’s not that uncommon!
I only had a little bit of blood my first time. We only barely even noticed it, and it certainly wasn’t enough to stain sheets or anything.
Same! I did a lot of practice warming up for mY debut so I figured it was because of that and I was happy for it lol!
@@sparklyunicorn5431 Petition to refer to first times as "debuts" w/ no regard to the construct of virginity
Edit: Typed that before MDJ brought it up too 🙃
Lucky, I had such excessive bleeding it was like I was on a heavy period. It was A LOT.
Same here
Women's bodily autonomy is so important, but I hate how it's morphed into this idea that women are automatically experts. We have been the victims of poor education systems as well and that's how you get women bullying other women about their childbirth choices and trying to sell them hormone tea, etc.
I don't really see it as stating they are experts, rather stating that they inherently and anecdotally know more than men about their own bodies. Which generally should be true.
@@rdizzy1 ... Tell that to the women who don't know how their own vaginas work. I shit you not, there's some ladies I once knew (and stopped talking to for a reason) that legitimately didn't even know how their own reproductive systems worked beyond 'this big-dicked guy makes me feel good'
@@BrokensoulRider I'm 18, I had to tell one of my female friends earlier this year what a vulva was. And a few years ago I had to tell a different friend what a clitoris was. And the only reason I knew what these things were were bc of the internet. I'd never even heard the word hymen before seeing someone talk about it on yt in reference to menstrual cups and virginity. So yeah I agree, having female anatomy doesn't mean you know anything about it.
I am a man and found this very interesting. Having seen the Adam ruins everything episode I am excited to see an expert discuss the topic. I learned something today.
As a woman.. I had no idea this existed. I also had horrible parents and live in the Deep South so... I’m a little behind. This is why I watch this channel, I’ve learned so much AND REALIZED THAT I KNOW NOTHING.
I actually wrote an essay in Highschool titled "what is virginity" because The idea of virginity was harming my mental health due to trauma. Sadly i lost the draft, but it was basically saying that It was a stupid concept, and we dont even have a solid definition of 'what counts' in terms of virginity
Its not a stupid concept - in the past sex and marriage were a lot more connected than now days. Men wanted a virgin bride so they could be sure that any kids born will be his and his only. And for teen girls to get pregnant out of wedlock was a real concern. As it still is. Teens are stupid! We didnt have modern bird control pills or so easy to use condoms. Sex can be very life changing event and just the modern life made it seem like its just this fun activity we do. Dont get me wrong - Im very happy to be born in this times, but safe sex is pretty recent thing. So to change cultures and old notions that were usefull and valid for milenia is not gonna happen in a blink.
@@alexforce9 yeah, we know why it was invented, people argue that now when women have autonomy it's kind od useless and harmfull especially as its basis in biology are shaky. And as you point out safe sex exists so putting this overblown importance on it is unnecessary as long as people get good sex-ed.
@@alexforce9 People also used to wear lead makeup, dye their clothes with arsenic, and paint watches with radium. Not too long ago they thought tobacco was healthy. In a historical context it's understandable why the concept of virginity came about, but that doesn't mean that now, in the modern day, it's not a stupid concept. Insisting on carrying over a cultural relic that's been used primarily to justify abuse is about as sensical as suggesting we bring back Scheele's Green.
@@felix7866 they still use lead in make up. Watch shady
@@alexforce9 I like this explanation.
I love this so much. So many people don’t understand this information women included. It needs to be talked about more.
The concept of "Virginity" is absolutely ridiculous in general. Idk why people place so much importance to it.
found the virgin
@@trumpputinkim bruh
Requirements of certain sacrifices'! Get that stuff wrong and their is no telling the hell you might raise!
@@shadoe1769 I accidentally sacrificed a woman who wasn't a virgin and opened a portal to hell. 😕
Because back in ancient Greek/Roman/Egyptian era, virgin sacrifice to appease the gods was how they solved practically every problem.
Got a battle in the morning? Throw a virgin over a cliff.... And it just evolved from there.
As someone who has been shamed after her first time and called a liar (my hymen never broke, therefore, no blood during my first time - the guy said I lied about being a virgin and I "should've just told" him), thank you for explaining this to a broad audience. 27 years old, active sex life with my fiancé and hymen still intact. (Does that mean I can still be sacrificed in a volcano? Haha)
Have fun boiling! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha
Growing up in a Christian family that was very against talking about sex or even just the anatomy of human generals I didn't know anything about the hymen until my fence told me about it a few months before our wedding. This is great information for understanding your own body and I wish I had been taught it as a teen.
Just recently discovered this channel and I am loving the content! 💜 Sad to know this video is gonna be demonetized. Sex education is so needed.
Sadly, sex education is needed so much.
When I had my sexual debut as a 19 year old, my boyfriend was so worried he'd hurt me and I'd bleed because I was a virgin. We were surprised when there was none. I know better now, but I should've been taught then.
Also, foreplay and being comfortable helps so much. My first time was 100% pain free. I was comfortable with my then bf now husband, and after several hours together, and at least half an hour of cuddling and kissing, my body was ready lol.
@@josephinenelan4204 Same. I had no discomfort my first time and i'm pretty sure that's cause we prepared well with foreplay. I also wasn't nervous and that would also help a lot.
We need to get rid of the word foreplay too bc it implies it's not as important as sexual intercourse where in reality foreplay is what gets most women off
Yeah, unfortunately, especially in the bible belt, sex ed is simply, "Don't have sex until marriage, or you'll burn in Hell forever!"
I'm pretty sure mine broke with a tampon, so I was bleeding anyway.
"It's just something we made up to be mean to women. Like entourage"🤣 fr
What did they mean by entourage?
@@nunpho Entourage was a tv show and then movie about a group of actors. From what I understand, the only female characters were basically scenery or one dimensional sexual conquests. Idk, I hated it so i only saw a few moments here and there
@@els1f oh wow, thanks for answering. I've never heard of it before. Probably because I'm not American.
@@nunpho no problem, there's no reason to know if it🙂
@@els1f Not just scenery or one dimensional, if I remember right several female characters were actually played by IRL pornstars. Even though its not that old and ended less than a decade ago IDK if a show like that could be made in todays climate lol.
I just watched your reaction to hymens (Adam ruins everything).
I am part of the 0.05-0.1% of people who had an imporforate hymen into their teenage years... I had to have emergency surgery when I was ~17 because I had ~1 L of fluid in my uterus and had atypical presentation because my uterus grew up and back into my spine so I didn't have the typical distendedAbdomen. I was super thin and strong gymnast/dancer 5'7", 17, and 110lbs. By the time I went to the ED I had a UTI --> B Kidneys, and was constipated for a week. I didn't know it at the time, but my mom had an imporforated hymen when she was born, but my grandmother's doctor saw it and did the surgery when she was a baby so she didn't have any issues. Do you check baby girls for the rare incidence of imporforated hymens or does that fall under the domain of a pediatrician?
I had a home schooled Christian sex education and I’ve learned more from this channel than I ever was told.
Men don't want to hear the hymen has a completely different function that's 100% for the woman's body (keeping poop out as an infant). Men truly want to believe it was designed for them.
Well men believe that they're entitled to a woman's body. So... No surprise there...
*gasp* you mean a woman's life and anatomy aren't centered around men? Men can be so douchy
@@mellie4174 I've found myself correctly referring to those specimens as "males". Males feel they're owed sex from women in exchange for basic kindness and respect, and that kindness and respect is revoked if not satiated. Those are males. They dehumanise women in calling them "females", it's a mutual respect.
I'm pretty sure that 99% of men don't give a toss about a woman's hymen, as in don't think it was designed for them. And I would suggest that the majority of men would prefer to not hurt a woman during her first sexual encounter either.
@@ruthugo9342 Traumatising virginity testing is common and rampant across the world, including in America, and these tests are NOT performed for the benefit of the woman. They are performed for men/potential men. Indonesia practices performing virginity tests on women recruits entering the police academy.
They are performed in SCHOOLS in countries like Turkey, Egypt, and Morocco, and Iraq.
One girl in Turkey killed herself after her principal performed a virginity test on her.
It is NEVER to benefit the woman. Controlling fathers who feel they own their daughters bodies request them without any regard for the emotional scarring of her body being violated, that she’s been shown isn’t hers. It belongs to a man who’s controlling it for a future man(a husband)
By the way, I’m a bloke, and a father to a daughter and a son.
My now deceased Sicilian mother (born in 1915) told us that in Sicily they used to hang white sheets out on the clothesline the day after the wedding. Supposedly, the blood stain on it was to prove the bride was a virgin. (I’m sure they always had extra pasta sauce on hand, just in case).
Well, we had that concept, but it was universally aknowledged that a noble lady can hurt herself while horse riding and a village woman while working or walking above a fence, so this sheet showing ritual doesntt proof anything.
I still love that hymens can heal. It’s this beautiful physical reminder that bad sexual experiences don’t have to leave a mark on us forever.
😂😂😂
Unless they scar you and then…
Nobody talks about how hymens heal
Look how few likes your comment has... :(
Dr Jones didn't even give commentary on that part
Thank you for including men AND others for the group of people who don't understand sometimes. Its not just men who are confused.
I’m a 60 year old man. I’ve been married for 41 years. I learned much from this video , thank you.
Thank you for doing this video, Mama Doctor Jones.
I know all too well that it's both men and women who don't understand these things.
Now that I think about it, most women I've encountered, much less men, couldn't even tell you what the hymen is for.
We have a lot of work to do.
I’ve heard of woman in cultures where the bleeding your first time thing is expected having to hide little sachets of blood up their vah-jay-jays so that they can make sure to bleed properly, and won’t be rejected as sexually impure by their new husbands. And, I personally was asked my first time, are you sure you were a virgin? Because, you took it pretty well... like, I’m sorry??? I didn’t know I was supposed to be crying or in pain or something the whole time... my bad??? Uhg.
Ive heard this too. It also makes me wonder how rough some men were being in order to cause enough bleeding to stain the sheets in order to create this myth in the first place??
@@elenapaints972 Eeewwww. I just now realized the real source of the myth of bleeding hymens.
Thanks 😒
@@elenapaints972 a lot of guys just weren’t gentle. Didn’t take it slow. No foreplay... sex was a pleasure for men, not so much for women.
@@elenapaints972 the men in question throughout most of history were also older in a developmentally significant way. There's a size component to some of that.
The women weren't aroused in many cases. There are a lot of reasons. Female arousal is immoral. Female arousal means you are promiscuous. Women were also anxious and ignorant, mostly done deliberately, on that first night. Put those ingredients together and...tearing.
On top of that, men of stature had to be seen as conquering and virile. I guess it was a symbol of their ruthless courage that they could put Tab A into Slot B.
@@arisucheddar3097 Yeah, definitely agree all those played a part. What I mean is you would have to have quite a lot of blood for it to end up on the sheets, which is a horrible prospect of how rough you would have to be to get that to happen (in general).
Its awful that first time sex was supposed to be this violent tearing, painful experience for women, those myths still persist today. :(
It seems like my high school health elective (beyond the required course) did a pretty great job! Feel great about that. And it wasn’t weird to learn about. I should email her and thank her. Honestly, whenever I’m like, “do people not know this!?” It’s normally a result of my public school going the extra mile. Love it. Thanks for Sharing the info!
I feel this and your "Virginity Test" video go hand in hand and would benefit a few people I actually know. One of whom I had to argue/try to explain that using a tampon does not "take your virginity" when my teenage daughter wanted to try them over pads.
I've self-taught a lot of the information I have surrounding sex and puberty ever since my period started age 11 (and felt very under-prepared for it despite a single lesson the year before on puberty), finding information in leaflets from doctors offices and hospitals, or searching the internet. However, while I knew a bit about the hymen, I've definitely learned more from this video. And I always seem to learn something new from your videos.
Thank you for doing this. And you’re right, Most women are going off of outdated (and incorrect) information so I really appreciated having a more entertaining way to educate my daughters and separate myth from fact.
YESSSSS I love you and your channel so much!! More people need to hear this! In my sex ed classes (which was 1-2 years ago) only covered the male reproductive system, the internal system for the women, and predominantly covered healthy relationships. We learned absolutely nothing about sex, except don't do it. You have taught me so much! Thank you for posting and educating the masses!
That exasperated nod you gave when he said "Our school district is underfunded" made me laugh. Like WOW I feel that!!!
So storytime. As a teenager, I had a septate hymen. Not that I knew that's what it was until I was a LOT older. It made using tampons difficult as the little band of tissue would catch over the end of the expanded tampon. So I stopped using them, especially as I found they made my endometriosis pain worse. When I started having sex, I did so for months without any pain, bleeding or discomfort. But when I eventually slept with my next partner, I guess things lined up differently. Bye Bye band of tissue and cue two very surprised Pikachu faces. It just proves how arbitrary virginity and the presence of hymen tissue is.
This was an awesome reaction! I love your points that you made throughout the video. Also, you are not a narcissist lol You are lovely, likeable, relatable, and educational. One of my favorite channels
Honestly I'm 31 and I just gained so much more knowledge than I had before. Thank you for this video!
Mu sex Ed teacher was an mature woman who didn't care about being PC lol so she told us a story about her friend who had to surgically get her hymen "broken" and I'm glad I had her because it was nothing but the facts she gave mind you she was a PE teacher like school funding is not an excuse to not READ A BOOK!
My hymen (or whatever is left of it after 25 years of life) physically ached for a second with that damaged the balloon arch metaphor... I actually knew all this because I was.... How to say this as non graphically as possible.... Given consciousness altering and most likely illegal substances without my knowledge and then a number of nonconsensual sexual activities took place while I was under their influence. The person who did it was, at the time, my best friend and we were only 16 so my parents and their legal guardian their grandmother were involved in the aftermath and said grandmother wanted me to have a virginity test. Of course I didn't but I did see a doctor because of what happened and she very kindly educated me on pretty much everything that's mentioned here. But if that doctor didn't do that, I probably wouldn't have known much more than the health teacher here... My health class didn't teach us very much and really no one else did either....
It is really horrible that that happened to you. I hope you're safe now and could process those events. All the love to you
I'm so sorry you had these experiences, but I'm glad you found a caring doctor to help you.
I’m glad you’re ok & I’m going to pray for you to continue to be ok. I know it’s hard, but you sound strong & capable 💕
If you don't mind me asking this: was it you friend who gave you those substances?
If you don't want to answer, I totally get that. I hope you are alright now and I wish you the best.
@@GG-vl9xq I don't mind at all, and thank you for your kindness :) Yes, it was my friend. I'm still not 100% sure how he did it, but I know it was in my food. We had gone to McDonald's with his aunt and I was in the back seat of the car while he was up front. I didn't know that the aunt was ok with us eating in the car so I was just waiting till we got back to the house but then I noticed both of them eating so I asked for mine and he didn't want to give it to me. Eventually he did but I think that's when I ingested whatever it was. I know he was really good at slight of hand type of stuff so it's definitely believable that he could have done it then and no one noticed
“Sexual debut” ! Love this. All of this video actually.
Thank you so much for covering important things, even when its likely to get demonitized. Not a ton of us really understand what a hymen is (myself included, even as a human woman and mother).
My kids are lucky that I am the type of mom with no discussion being off-limits at any age. They are 21 and 23 now and come to me for anything. I have quizzed them here and there over the years about stuff I taught them and will clarify things. Both my kids know about the three orifices (I have a son and daughter). I’m pretty impressed that my son listened to me even if it may have been awkward. 😅
I loved this Adam learns video. It teaches people facts they need to know. Thanks for reviewing it.
Ooo! Do the one where Adam covers fertility and egg freezing! 😀
There’s also one about breastfeeding vs formula, idk if that counts as OB-GYN stuff but it’d be interesting to see it covered!
@@HO-nn3pw it would I believe
Another doctor (with admittedly way fewer subscribers) has made good video in response to that segment. Long story short, that segment was misleading in some pretty significant ways.
i think one of the best parts of the video is that Emily, who explains the hymen in this video, and Murph, the “how many holes do you have” guy are married in real life.
They crack me up.
I was just thinking this myself! I watch/listen to them play D&D together on their shows! It's so funny seeing them together in other things
I love Emily and Murph and i love dimension 20. I've only seen Fantasy High so far.
@@sydneydowdle5456 i love dimension 20. If you haven't already you should check out Critical Role. It's less silly but still great.
i was JUST watching dimension 20 and i had to pause and look this up because i was like, "i swear that sounds just like emily axford..."
I went through what was then referred to as health class in 1975. I was in 10th grade, the class was required and I lived in Iowa. That class may have been taught by the Golf coach but hats off to him he took his class seriously and we did learn a lot! My how times have changed and not for the better! As a Labor and Delivery RN I cannot tell you how many times I have had to do the three hole teaching.
I literally did not know ANYTHING about hymens before this video. I'm 26 and never in my life have i had a proper sex education, not from school nor my parents or anywhere else. I'm definitely going to keep watching your videos.
I. like the fact that Adam was not the one explaining in this episode.. I get what you said about Adam saying to bring in an expert (which he does in episodes) but it feels like a slap in the face when he said it. I like the fact that she did not bring in an expert
Realy? Slap in the face? Coz all women know everything about hymen just by be born women?
@@alexforce9 No it is the way he said it and usually he brings in an expert, without the people he is explaining things to asking for an expert.
I love Adam Ruins everything! This and a Ted Talk address this and I hope everyone gets a chance to see them to be informed and educated to stop this cycle
If nobody told me I had a hymen, I literally wouldn't have even known they exist. Never seen one. Never noticed it.
Oh my gosh same, I knew about virginity but I'd never heard of hymens until I saw someone on the internet debunking hymen myths as a teenager, none of which I'd ever heard of, bc I'd never heard of a hymen 😂
Edit: I've never had sex and I've never noticed any bleeding that could've potentially been from a broken hymen, so I've no idea if mine is "intact" or not lol.
Thank you for your great education, love everything about your teachings. This information deserves a repeat session for those who don’t understand through this type of teaching method. So much important information! ❤️
Definitely learned 'something' from this vid, specifically, every single point addressed. Entirely new information, and you (and the originators) have my gratitude!
Thank you. In a novel I've read it's called First Rights for the girl, I love that it was a celebration.
Totally needed to watch this during work 😅 I don’t actually know “Adam ruins everything” but the clips you showed were entertaining! Love seeing you posted in my notifications! Take care of yourself and stay healthy:)
Adam Ruins Everything is hilarious!! Informative too. Besides this they tackled fertility and egg freezing, baby formula, and yes postpartum depression as well other topics that aren't ObGyn related.
It is an awesome entertaining informative show.
I love Adam Ruins Everything - the cite all their sources and typically have experts in their respective field come on! They also have a episode about pregnancy!
This one in particular could've used some more information about what the purpose of the hymen really is. It was more about what it isn't, than what it is.
The right answer is we don’t do these exams and then report parent to CPS, as healthcare workers are mandated reporters.
Love you love your channel. I just graduated nursing school and want to go into labor and delivery and eventually become a nurse midwife. I started watching you channel before I stated nursing school. I love the wealth of information you share and I still always learn something every time I watch it. Just shared this video on my Facebook because I feel that people a really miss informed about this. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us it’s truly appreciated. 😊❤️
I am a 52 yr.old women who learned alot from this video.When I went to school in 6th grade we were told the very basics about sex,and eventhough when I was older my mom discussed things with me she had alot of misinformation .She believed that you could lose your Virgjnity to a tampon.But my friends mother who was a nurse told me when I begun having periods that this was a myth.Thank you for educating people.
Nothing to saaayyyy but helping your algorithm 👏👏👏
I had what my OBGYN called an imperforate hymen, but still was able to have my period. I was unable to use a tampon because the pain was simply too great. The surgery did wonders for me in multiple ways.
I have vaginismus, the effect is similar. There are no surgeries but self-administered physical therapy (might get to see someone about it in a few years, we’ll see) helps. I could probably use a small tampon but it would take a minute to get it in right.
Yours might have been the type with small hole(s).
I learned a lot from this episode of Adam Ruins Everything when it aired, so seeing you go over it was great.
Yes, I agree with you and Brenda! “Sexual debut” is such a better term than “virginity loss”.
Thanks for this video!