After listening to Poor Boundary Function Part 1 & 2, I finally understood how I have been unable to construct strong boundaries in order to self-partner & would lower my own desires and needs to please others. When I finally stood up for what I wanted, I was left by the person who was pushing for what they were trying to extract from me by taking and not being willing to give back to me in return. This was the first time in my entire life that I set boundaries. I then questioned myself whether I did the right thing. It has taken me almost one year to grasp if I let myself be used, I would be abused and end up in the same vicious cycle. Thanks to listening to your videos, I am convinced I am better off without the Narcissist even though I am alone now. I am working on self-partnering & upleveling to be more available to myself and meeting my own needs so that I don't have to feel like a victim ever again and be available for a more healthy relationship with myself and another man who man come along who is attracted to the emotionally healthy person I have become. Thank you so much for teaching me a different way to experience life.
I had to rewind to make sure I saw that right. That was so funny. Melanie your lipstick is perfect. From an old guy who thinks you are the hottest thing since slice bread.
self love is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do...and honestly it takes a lot longer than I wish it did. I am 48 and I have realized this year that I still have a long way to grow. But, I am trusting the process and these videos are helping. One moment at a time. 'Rome wasn't built in a day!'
Wow!! So empowering! This lady explains it in a way that is a whole different level. So far ahead of all the other material on narcissism boundaries and healing. I hope she continues helping other people the way she does. So so empowering and uplifting. Thanks 🙏
I appreciate that you make the distinction between responsibility and blame. There are many people, even very spiritual people, who don't understand that. I can take responsibility for what I feel and how I choose to handle those feelings, but that does not remove the fact of what someone else has done.
Beautiful video Melanie. First off, you look absolutely gorgeous. Secondly, because of your videos I'm learning and growing so much from your videos. They help me see where I have looked for others to be that source of safety, security, and happiness for myself for years! Yet I could never get it to work. I still felt abandoned, alone, rejected, and not good enough. Today I'm changing that behavior by learning to be my own source of safety, security, and happiness. Today's message was profound in that you listed examples of how I would second guess myself because of being afraid of losing the person I was trying to define a boundary with. This was a huge lightbulb moment for me. I recently was presented a situation that brought up this inner conflict which was causing me to self doubt again because I didn't want to come off as a b----. I now realize the negative emotions are mine to work on and up level AND it is necessary for me to establish my own boundary and uphold it.
+Charles Edmonds I am glad you enjoyed it - and thank you for your lovely compliment. It is so true that we need to be real and true to us - otherwise life cannot and will not reflect back our Truest and Best self and life. Great you are going within so that you can! xoxo
Thank you for this, I really needed this clarification. I've had very poor boundaries all of my life, where most people have just walked all over me, so I have been working on understanding them and what they feel like. Then I started practicing setting healthy boundaries. I now realize why two actions I have been taking are not working. (1) Fighting and arguing to get someone else to "get it" and my boundaries, and (2) thinking everyone is going to just automatically respond in a respectful way when I set a boundary like, "Good for you, great job respecting yourself, I will now respect you too."
Its been less than 7 days since i saw my first video...the poor boundry function one and two and it literally changed changed how I see everything! You should have every subscriber there is because more people should know this!
When the narc projects their insecurities onto us which are not based on reality, this forces us to work on ourselves and re-establish our boundaries. I’m dealing with jealous coworkers who keep trying to undermine my success on a regular basis.
Amaaaaazing video. Now I get what a gift it is to be able to redefine our identity with new awareness. It is the opportunity to test our best philosophical intentions. Namaste
Great talk Mel. Boundary issues, people pleasing and approval from others are huge for me. I am doing a lot of "fake it till I make it" with varying degrees of success. My big thing right now is everyday boundary patrol. By that I mean no one in my life is really calling me trash or a liar or a cheater right now. Those people have all been ejected from my life. How do I deal gracefully with the people who casually overstep boundaries with more subtle comments or actions that may or may not be actually intended to disrespect. For instance, a casual but inappropriate comment from an aquaintance about my weight, my clothes or whether or not my bra is giving me enough support. Or asking me to do free work for them. Or giving unsolicited criticism disguised as advice about a personal matter. These may not be deliberate attempts to push my buttons. Or they may be. Either way, this isn't behavior I like to encourage or communicate tacit agreement with a smile and a nod. When I am triggered I want to either shut down or tear someone a new one and in a casual social situation, neither reaction is appropriate. How do I communicate how I want to be treated with dignity and class in a manner that shuts down a potential "button pusher" but doesn't turn off every one else?
You go girl! We needed to hear this! People talk about "oh we don't need him" but it has never been explained from a solid foundation like you do. So empowering, sensible and strong! Love ya
Right on point for me. Just yesterday, before I had begun module 1. At work, as actors, entering our holding area for the days location, I found a space for myself and belongings...right at that moment, another person, who had been red flagged for me...a talker, evidently no boundaries person decided to sit right next to me, and begin to violate my space. So, at the first opportunity, I quietly gathered my things and moved to another table. (Safer, healthier choice, honoring my boundary) I did not engage him. He continued throughout the day to make snide remarks for my attention. I paid him no mind, until later in the day he was in my face and I erupted like a rabid dog for him to get away from me. I was avoiding an exchage with him, but clearly what he wanted, as he seethed, then grimaced, soaking up the supply. My friends rallied with me, but it was so uncomfortable. Brought the experience to NARP module 1, and clearing this from my two year old self, ancient stuff. I want to have these monsters out of my life, and be surrounded with respect. What would be a better way to handle this?
I loved these boundary videos. There are things that you said that I can really relate to and I see now where I did what I did. I would like you to talk about something I heard of called the covert narcissist. I was married to the verbally abusive narcissist who would degrade me and call me names. After my divorce, I got into a relationship with someone that didn't fit the typical narcissist mold. He didn't do those obvious things that my ex did. He was manipulative and controlling in ways that I didn't know a person could be and I didn't realize he was doing it - just always felt that something was off but couldn't put my finger on it. I missed the signs for so long and I would like to know more about how to spot the covert narc that is so smooth and calculating that you don't realize the rug is being slipped out from under you until you've been flipped on your head. Thanks!
Loved the intro! Loved the content even more. I still struggle with boundaries and this is so affirming. I know it in my head, yet when I'm not being treated as I should be; I am triggered and upset that I am not being loved and respected as I should be; and fighting for this affirmation and approval from others. Thank you for cementing what I know deep down already; I don't need validation from anyone but me.
Love the lippy sketch at the beginning :-D :-D :-D I think that's one thing we narc abuse recoverers need to rediscover - our sense of humour! Life gets so serious when you're going through all this. So glad I found your stuff here - just yesterday.... I think a few months ago I was still too raw to be able to focus on my own inner truths... Now I am ready :- bring it on! So much to take on board in these two boundary videos... Boundaries deffo a glaring issue in my life...... More on boundaries and triggers please! The part about triggers in this video alone is going to be of tremendous help....but if you could go over this subject for a bit more I think that will help it to sink in. I think maybe more about how to detach from that triggered feeling and what to do with it once you have, would be enormously helpful. Thanks for this. You're fab... with or without the lippy :-D :-D :-D
Fabulous video on boundaries that goes beyond 'you need them' to how it actually FEELS to create and implement them. I would add that keep thriving not because there is nothing else to do but because it is our desire, our right, and it shows respect for the gift we have of being alive. Delighted to have found your words.
Thank you for this series. I never learned to set boundaries, every time I tried they were immediately blown up so eventually I stopped trying. Alwas put other's needs ahead of my own and still working on comprehending that part.
You are so right about setting boundaries. It's weird because I thought I was strong about boundaries with others and even throughout my relationship with the narcissist, but other times, I knew he was doing so many things to set me up, and I let it go and ignored it. Those violations took over me because I loved him. I know now how weak I was. That's why I feel the same for not being stronger.
Mel could you do a video on work place bullying and how to handle a situation especially when you have followed all the proper policies of the company to resolve the issue but upper management ignores the situation. thanks dave
You really get it! Thanks for helping the rest of us sort through the quicksand and make it out! Love your message and the candid delivery in which you express it.
p.s. It has Really helped...The Best series for me. i see I have Inner Child models of awaiting the 'Prince to Rescue me' & doing 0 but being helpless & Very dependent. These 'Ladybird' stories have played Massively in my old programming. In one "Sleeping beauty": she lies in a deep sleep & He has to cut his way thru deep briars to reach her. (The only Truth is see now is: she was Unconscious & asleep!) I saw that All my life. Now I see the external briars are my internal thickets to upleavel. Brilliant series. It is Soo helping me. Thank you So much. Now just gotta plug into the NARP QFH to upleavel All the wounds/ my old/our own Cultural norms around the woman waiting around to be rescued. I Need to Rescue Me! I have had nothing but hurt due to old outmoded programmes in Me.... over & over again.It is Now up to me to upleavel My wounds to meet a new reality. I cannot blame ...I attracted My own wounds. Bless you. Jess M xx
Thank you for making me feel better about not knowing how to set boundaries. I thought it was a natural thing. People who really care, healthy people, have an impossible time understanding why we act this way. Well she must like abuse, she keeps going back. I was just trying to get what I was supposed to so I could take care it. I love growing up😊
Thank you so much for yet another brilliant and helpful video. I get excited when I receive your e mails and can't wait to find time alone to listen. Feels like a light has been switched on. I bought the silver NARP last year but I cannot get past stage one because I cannot find my childhood trauma. I had a really happy childhood. Having listened to all your videos, EVERYTHING you say makes sense. From you I have learned is that I am an empath co-dependent wife , but I probably cannot find the trauma because I was the apple do daddy's eye and had a wonderful mum too so I was very immature and never had to think for myself. So finding a clear starting point from which to get off the ground with NARP is difficult. Now after 29 years of marriage,boundaries are hard to put into place whilst still living/working in this business partnership with my narc. You are my life line so I hope you keep making your videos. My aim is to look as happy and radiant as you one day. X
+Jane Gore you are very welcome. I really want to urge you to consider moving from Silver to Gold - so that you can have full Community support with the NARP Forum - because I promise you there is childhood programming there - and in no way is that taking away from the great childhood you had ... To do this all you need to do is email support@melanietoniaevans.com Occasionally this happens - people like yourself - and I explain this situation fully in my 3 Keys Webinars - and I'd love you to join in one of those too - www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar You are only a couple of tweaks away from having your NARP experience open up to where it needs to be to start getting profound shifts. xx
I left the most recent bout with a narcissist in 10 days and had not had sex with him in that time either. While it may have been a bit of a slip to have given him the time of day in any case at all.... Once he showed his abusive side and his complete inability to deal with a healthy boundary...I left and demanded no contact with a witness, knowing the next level would be a legal matter if he breached it. Thanks for all that you do. xx
Thank you for this and all your videos. I have a situation where walking away or removing a personality disordered person from my life is not an option because it is a coworker. I know the solution lies in me and not them changing but it is hard and I am intimidated by this person. I know the principle of showing up powerfully is the same whether it's a lover, friend, or family member but aside from leaving the job, there are fewer options in dealing with the situation when it's a coworker or boss. I think this topic could be beneficial to many who face this challenge in their life. Thank you for reading my comment.
+Rinat Ludwig Watch Melanie's video on youtube, "Quanta Freedom Healing From Switzerland with Sandra". It's lengthy, and you'll have to be willing to sit still and focus your attention for a while, but if you substitute your situation with Sandra's as you follow along with the process, you just may realise some real benefit from this very powerful healing method. And, when you change on the inside, even just a little, the world outside changes with you. It must - because YOU have changed. Good Luck!
This was perhaps your most helpful vid for me. I always come back to you for clarity. Thank you so much for explaining so clearly and concisely. This is life saving information for me and my gratitude is immense!
General additional random comment, "narcissists" teach us one lesson: The only real thing is love. They are master teachers in that regard. That one can be "a victim of narcissistic abuse" is just an illusion... I am sure that once you change your focus to see the blessing, the lesson that narcissist brought to your life, healing will be forthcoming. We are not here to be loved by other humans in the manner that our human mind deems "fair" or just. That is what a "narcissist" is trying to help us see. The narcissist is shouting: "everything is illusion, except that which is not! "
Hi Mel, and all in the community! Just watching this now. Very timely! Despite being 56 I seem to be attracting people as I did in my 20s, since doing the quanta freedom healing. Am enjoying life and my own connection to myself so much, feeling happier than ever in my life, and freer. So as these various people are wandering in and out of my energy field it is highly educational to watch how i am reacting with them, because definitely some want to be controllers. Am right there with realizing that when and where I grew up was an ideal pressure cooker for codependents. So having conscious boundary blueprints are really useful and helpful. It is a really good addition to how I am tweaking mod 11 from narp. (Been tweaking that for professional growth as I am starting over in life.) Will be fun to see where we all are in a year! Thought for the future: I have been working energetically with allowing energy connection and then stepping back consciously to keep my own energy field clear. Working with shamanic type techniques on this, since am an empath. More work and knowledge around this topic would be very good! There are probably many techniques, I would like to know more about it. Thank you & love as always - Valerie
I love this video series on boundaries, Melanie. It totally resonates with what I'm going through and all of this work is a living practice for me. I wanted to know if you could go a little more deeply into the process of how to create a sense of psychological safety for ourself. Through the Narp recovery process, I discovered and have been clearing this wound where I was constantly looking for men to create safety for me and saw how that search led me to mentally abusive relationships. Self-partnering with my inner child has been huge for me and last night I had a breakthrough about this but I want to strengthen this self-loving relationship and release the judgments I had against myself for being scared in the first place and then build safety within myself. Thank you so much. 💜💜😇🙏 ~Mita
You're a beautiful person inside and out. I am not going to try to tell you how to dress or wear your makeup. This is not something that an adult would say to another adult. Thanks for you being there to help us.
Mel, You are wonderul! Everything single said you said is right on! and your wonderful energy got it through. We need more of this. Repeating this is worth it! BTW, I loved your humanness when you did the thing around not swearing on youtube...the thing is you are "REAL" ! Love it
Hello lovely Mel ,you are so clever and beautiful.I'm sure I speak for all the people on here who love you when I say that we hope you find the true love that you deserve in your self and in your man.I had 29 years with my narc,(text book stuff ) now at 61 I have found my soul mate.we are in love and getting married this year .I was like you Mel at rock bottom .I want to remind people never to give up ,love is both within yourself and out there just waiting for you to find yourself and find it .With much love to all those suffering and recovering from "narcdom" xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Great again, and much needed to own the responses that my body has to the triggers that cause stress and inner panic. Currently there is no romantic partner in my life yet there are still many things to have and observe boundaries with! The body knows... thanks Mel! Much love!
Great! This is just what I needed to be reminded of - because of so many men leaving my life at the moment .... and I was asking myself what's wrong with me - am I too "picky"??? No - I am not. I want to be honoured, respected, valued and believed! I want to live it, breath it, be it - as you said. Never again I will feel like I felt without boudaries! I now know the difference because I did the inner work (inner child work - and now NARP - which is even more empowering because of the connection to source energy supply :-) ) It just works! Thank you again for explaining all this so well! It confirmed to me that I am on the right track! I think I got it - it feels just great - safe and calm. But still have to train... every day - not to loose that track. I am just at the beginning ..! Lots of love and thanks for great your support!
Thankyou for this video. I found it most useful. I have been doing self work, and I have come to some conclusions that concure with what you are saying. It is really nice to actually be hearing it from you as well. Not that I am not myself relying on others opinions -mind! Love and light xx
Thankyou , thankyou , thankyou. I had an aha moment. I am so pleased. I had a hyper-ventilating moment when the narc out of my life tried to hoover back into my circle. It was scary and awful as anything. Thought I was going to have a heart or stroke thing or such. As you mentioned it here; I had a flashback to a bullying incident when I was about 7 or 8 years old; and the headmaster dismissed us as wasting his time and making him sick with us. I felt powerless and like it was my fault. Back to the recent past; my feelings of powerlessness and no where to go brought it all on for me. Luckily my friends and posse rallied around, and the two (not one) Narcs left the scene defeated. Now I realise what that what the hyper ventilating was about, I can sort that if it comes again. At the scene; one of my friends told me to hold my breath; and it stopped it. Thankyou again.
Hi Mel... first a huge thank you to you for completely being my virtual friend and mentor for the past several months as I heal, uplevel, and move on from a narcissistic relationship. I have watched many of your videos and have shared your link with many professionals in the field of counseling as well as friends. Though I feel I'm making progress, I'm still having triggers. After I left the narc in my life, I got a new job and promotion- only to find that some of the people I supervise have the same projection, no boundary, and blame and shame tendencies! Isn't life amazing that way?? I am their supervisor and struggle quite a bit with how to deal with the constant anger that I feel from them on a near weekly basis. Unlike the narc, I can't just walk away and I need to be concerned with doing the most professional thing. Can you cover this at some point- workplace difficulties? Thanks again... you are changing my life!!! Lots of love.
I so deeply truly loveeeee your series. It's really been a blessing. many thanks. I'd love more videos on up leveling negative beliefs and holding yourself accountable to the work of up lifting your standards.
+ALABRASILIANA I 'm so glad my series helped you! I certainly can - and ultimately in my Webinar Groups this is where you have the real experiences in your body on "how to do this" up close and personal www.melanietonaievans.com/freewebinar x
Okay, first, I had to stop the video because I was laughing so hard at the beginning. OMG it was adorable!! It shows a little side of laughter in life, that punctuates the work needed to be done for ourselves with some joy and laughter in the process. The video itself was packed with very important points, and I will need to see it over and over again - and I'll love to. Your passion about helping get these things across works for me. Your principles of self love and validation and partnering (see, I'm listening) are a wonderful adjunct to my Al Anon program. I think because they both tap into an idea that is universal, and healing. So...Thank you so much, for helping me see how to heal during the course of leaving (divorcing) my NPD person.
Great video...boundaries r everything ...I've been struggling with them for years ...any suggestions for those of us that feel guilty for setting up boundaries to protect ourselves ...guilt was so what my parents kept me in control with...so now I do it to myself ...it's right in the pit of my stomach ...THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for all the work u r doing ...I just found u this week over spring break ....you r helping me SOOO much!!!
+beth w I will be doing a vid on "Guilt", also ... if you are ready to really meet and heal this in your body - check out coming into my next Webinar Group www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xx
Wow! You look amazing in this video! Also, this has been one of your better talks. I like your message and feel that you are totally correct. Keep up the great work!
Terrific video, arrived at an exquisitely appropriate time for me (that feels more than coincidental!). Feeling empowered just watching it, now off to own it :) Thank you.
I would not have managed without the Quantum Healing in NARP. It needed the special input that I could Never have done without NARP. Anyone who struggles...NARP is life changing. It is Worth Everything to just do it.
Subscribed! Heard your stuff before with Richard Gannon. This video could not have come at a better time. You just talked me through the entire process of helping myself with an immediate prolem, in ONE video. Thank you, and I will explore more of your videos as I go along.
Hahahaha the lipstick. You crack me up! Highest five! And I lost my shit last night! Now I get why. Thank you! He's not a NARC, took the quiz. But he is at a level of codependency and unhealed wounds himself. Since I started setting boundaries, it's been difficult. Our relationship has not been so great. There have been times where he meets me and owns his shit, apologizes. And times where he does just like the NARC did and says nasty things, blames me, projects, etc. I am at the place where I don't need an outcome and it's like "why would I want to be with you if??" So that is helpful to have you say that. I feel calm most times, it's when my boundary hits an unhealed wound in him or triggers him and I wasn't sure what to do. Walking me through the steps REALLY helped! I am able to go back through last nights big fight and see how I could have done things differently. I also know what I want and how to say it from an empowered place instead of a defending/prescribing place like I was.
+Nikki Weigel yes we can all lose our "stuff" LOL! The more solid you get darl you will see whether or not this starts to up-level. My question, also to you, would be this .... does he work at developing himself and take responsibility for his inner stuff? Is he interested in joining you there as a true evolving partnership? If not - you really have "no deal". x
+Melanie Tonia Evans this was a great question! It caused me to think. There have been times where I though I was setting boundaries, I was setting ultimatums, prescribing, fixing, etc. At those times, no he was not wanting to meet me on the journey, and why would he?! I am very new at setting boundaries, like SUPER new. But I can see a few times in the past (before I found you) where I have set them in our long term relationship in the healed adult way and he has met me there absolutely. Since yesterday, I have restated my boundaries I mucked up the first time and it was a completely different experience. I think that is telling of the type of soul he is and partner.
thank you Melanie! you are the best!!!!!Yoy know besides the things you are saying that i so much appreciate, I am also learning english (i live in Greece) the way you speak which i find it sooooo cute!!! thank you again....bye bye!!
Mel, I really needed to hear this, because, in the middle of a conversation with someone today, that person walked off into another room in the middle of my sentence. I was angry and told him when he returned that this action was rude and highly disrespectful which was definitely a boundary violation and then pushed it further by stating that he saw I was just thinking about what I was going to say next so did not think that there was a problem at all. Excuse me I said nobody can possibly know what is going or not going on in my head at any given time and I was in the middle of a sentence. Wow I actually fell into a trap and I should know better. Back to module 1. Helen
+H Bruce always these times are an opportunity to up-level Helen, and when we go in to get it out we sooo find the gift - and so will you darling lady! You are doing great :) xoxox
Going forward as an adult, the I, Me, now... I can progress rather than regress [why wallow wade and drown]... thanks a bunch. They to grow up when it comes to handling new wounds. Same old way reestablishes obstacles, as when we were children.
Please do more videos on boundaries, this is such a tough subject for me to grasp. How do I let go of my fears of abandonment and rejection? I think my fears are the reason I haven't enforced my boundaries in the past.
great awareness... for me a long time coming. So how does one actually do this after a life time of conditioning? boundaries... scary I understand it first starts with awareness... and I am so appreciative for that. would love concrete steps in how to work with the fear of abandonment and consequence after setting a boundary ever time I do... they leave. which I know is a good thing however it's getting mighty lonely here. with each boundary I exercise comes a deep panic.and loneliness.
Tho recently broke out in tears in front of him and he wanted me to sit in his lap and apologized...tho he wanted to save me...which may of felt good in the moment and got me to apologize back...though it was also disempowering.
I got badly triggered yesterday. The videos are helping. I spent the entire night crying. I don’t understand what u said towards the end....life reflects our state.....It always catches me off guard...I felt happy in the morning....I didnt see it coming basically.....And I get stuck in feeling a victim to the circumstance, instead of owning it. I dont see how I create it basically. Or I am trying to see still.
Hi Radha hun, I would love to show you the direct method to get true relief that is lasting. Have you heard about NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ? It is the process that has freed myself and so many others from the trauma of this. If you wish to, please come into my free webinar www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to expereince how Qunata Freedom Healing can help you heal for real. I hope this helps xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans Hello Melanie, I am a girl who has used and is still using your modules. We have met briefly before in the support forum. I am still taking a while to get some things. I just went for walk and did module 4 a lot. I am getting more serious about my need to keep going with all this. Thankyou, and Im sorry for how long it takes me to 'get things'. Please keep doing the work you do. It gives me a way out. xxxx
Dear Melanie, thank you for your videos and great informations. I worked with many woman through my hairdressing carrier, I retired from. I now serve many woman with my Soul's/lives gifts. I talk to many women and serve them with the wisdom I collected through many lives, I believe. I also experienced narcissism in the past and I like to ask you what is your point of view on witnessing narcissism in the public? Specially in parents children relationships. Recently I traveled, and at the airport I saw how poorly parents treated their 2 young children, a boy and a girl, and it was in the form of "game". I also heard about a scenario where a family member (not a parent) punished a child for touching some "stuff" that should not be touching. What to do in the case when you witness or hear about projecting narcism wounds onto child? Thank you for your insights, I wish you all the best on your journey of Self love. Blessings
This video was excellent - so the best way in your opinion to heal the inner wounds is to do one of your quantum healing sessions in order to self-partner and re-program old belief systems? I have stopped the temporary quick fixes and I am alone...I feel the pain every day. I would like to learn more about healing that pain....can you elaborate on that part?
Kathy if you look at www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp that will help you understand more about the Program of mine that the Community works with to heal from N-abuse (all the susceptibilities which led us there) .. xox
Whoever criticized your lipstick before was just a jealous fool! You look great and your lipstick is perfect! My comment on narcissists - what comes around, goes around. Don't ever try to exact revenge yourself. That is always up to a higher power. Just be honest and truthful and live by the Golden Rule.
After listening to Poor Boundary Function Part 1 & 2, I finally understood how I have been unable to construct strong boundaries in order to self-partner & would lower my own desires and needs to please others. When I finally stood up for what I wanted, I was left by the person who was pushing for what they were trying to extract from me by taking and not being willing to give back to me in return. This was the first time in my entire life that I set boundaries. I then questioned myself whether I did the right thing. It has taken me almost one year to grasp if I let myself be used, I would be abused and end up in the same vicious cycle. Thanks to listening to your videos, I am convinced I am better off without the Narcissist even though I am alone now. I am working on self-partnering & upleveling to be more available to myself and meeting my own needs so that I don't have to feel like a victim ever again and be available for a more healthy relationship with myself and another man who man come along who is attracted to the emotionally healthy person I have become. Thank you so much for teaching me a different way to experience life.
Nice with the dark lipstick gag, loved it! Lol!
I had to rewind to make sure I saw that right. That was so funny. Melanie your lipstick is perfect. From an old guy who thinks you are the hottest thing since slice bread.
self love is by far the hardest thing I have ever had to do...and honestly it takes a lot longer than I wish it did. I am 48 and I have realized this year that I still have a long way to grow. But, I am trusting the process and these videos are helping. One moment at a time. 'Rome wasn't built in a day!'
Wow!! So empowering! This lady explains it in a way that is a whole different level. So far ahead of all the other material on narcissism boundaries and healing. I hope she continues helping other people the way she does. So so empowering and uplifting. Thanks 🙏
Thank you so much for your kind words, love and blessings to you Dear One xoxox
I appreciate that you make the distinction between responsibility and blame. There are many people, even very spiritual people, who don't understand that. I can take responsibility for what I feel and how I choose to handle those feelings, but that does not remove the fact of what someone else has done.
Beautiful video Melanie. First off, you look absolutely gorgeous. Secondly, because of your videos I'm learning and growing so much from your videos. They help me see where I have looked for others to be that source of safety, security, and happiness for myself for years! Yet I could never get it to work. I still felt abandoned, alone, rejected, and not good enough. Today I'm changing that behavior by learning to be my own source of safety, security, and happiness. Today's message was profound in that you listed examples of how I would second guess myself because of being afraid of losing the person I was trying to define a boundary with. This was a huge lightbulb moment for me. I recently was presented a situation that brought up this inner conflict which was causing me to self doubt again because I didn't want to come off as a b----. I now realize the negative emotions are mine to work on and up level AND it is necessary for me to establish my own boundary and uphold it.
+Charles Edmonds I am glad you enjoyed it - and thank you for your lovely compliment. It is so true that we need to be real and true to us - otherwise life cannot and will not reflect back our Truest and Best self and life. Great you are going within so that you can! xoxo
So true - life reflects back our own state.
Thank you for this, I really needed this clarification. I've had very poor boundaries all of my life, where most people have just walked all over me, so I have been working on understanding them and what they feel like. Then I started practicing setting healthy boundaries. I now realize why two actions I have been taking are not working. (1) Fighting and arguing to get someone else to "get it" and my boundaries, and (2) thinking everyone is going to just automatically respond in a respectful way when I set a boundary like, "Good for you, great job respecting yourself, I will now respect you too."
Its been less than 7 days since i saw my first video...the poor boundry function one and two and it literally changed changed how I see everything! You should have every subscriber there is because more people should know this!
When the narc projects their insecurities onto us which are not based on reality, this forces us to work on ourselves and re-establish our boundaries. I’m dealing with jealous coworkers who keep trying to undermine my success on a regular basis.
This color looks divine on you! Thank you for your continued videos- NARP is so amazing and real.
Amaaaaazing video. Now I get what a gift it is to be able to redefine our identity with new awareness. It is the opportunity to test our best philosophical intentions. Namaste
Great talk Mel. Boundary issues, people pleasing and approval from others are huge for me. I am doing a lot of "fake it till I make it" with varying degrees of success. My big thing right now is everyday boundary patrol. By that I mean no one in my life is really calling me trash or a liar or a cheater right now. Those people have all been ejected from my life. How do I deal gracefully with the people who casually overstep boundaries with more subtle comments or actions that may or may not be actually intended to disrespect. For instance, a casual but inappropriate comment from an aquaintance about my weight, my clothes or whether or not my bra is giving me enough support. Or asking me to do free work for them. Or giving unsolicited criticism disguised as advice about a personal matter. These may not be deliberate attempts to push my buttons. Or they may be. Either way, this isn't behavior I like to encourage or communicate tacit agreement with a smile and a nod. When I am triggered I want to either shut down or tear someone a new one and in a casual social situation, neither reaction is appropriate. How do I communicate how I want to be treated with dignity and class in a manner that shuts down a potential "button pusher" but doesn't turn off every one else?
+Kelley Hirst I really want to explore this and help you out with this stuff in future videos!
+Melanie Tonia Evans looking forward to them :)
You go girl! We needed to hear this! People talk about "oh we don't need him" but it has never been explained from a solid foundation like you do. So empowering, sensible and strong! Love ya
Right on point for me. Just yesterday, before I had begun module 1. At work, as actors, entering our holding area for the days location, I found a space for myself and belongings...right at that moment, another person, who had been red flagged for me...a talker, evidently no boundaries person decided to sit right next to me, and begin to violate my space. So, at the first opportunity, I quietly gathered my things and moved to another table. (Safer, healthier choice, honoring my boundary) I did not engage him. He continued throughout the day to make snide remarks for my attention. I paid him no mind, until later in the day he was in my face and I erupted like a rabid dog for him to get away from me. I was avoiding an exchage with him, but clearly what he wanted, as he seethed, then grimaced, soaking up the supply. My friends rallied with me, but it was so uncomfortable. Brought the experience to NARP module 1, and clearing this from my two year old self, ancient stuff. I want to have these monsters out of my life, and be surrounded with respect. What would be a better way to handle this?
I loved these boundary videos. There are things that you said that I can really relate to and I see now where I did what I did. I would like you to talk about something I heard of called the covert narcissist. I was married to the verbally abusive narcissist who would degrade me and call me names. After my divorce, I got into a relationship with someone that didn't fit the typical narcissist mold. He didn't do those obvious things that my ex did. He was manipulative and controlling in ways that I didn't know a person could be and I didn't realize he was doing it - just always felt that something was off but couldn't put my finger on it. I missed the signs for so long and I would like to know more about how to spot the covert narc that is so smooth and calculating that you don't realize the rug is being slipped out from under you until you've been flipped on your head. Thanks!
Loved the intro! Loved the content even more. I still struggle with boundaries and this is so affirming. I know it in my head, yet when I'm not being treated as I should be; I am triggered and upset that I am not being loved and respected as I should be; and fighting for this affirmation and approval from others. Thank you for cementing what I know deep down already; I don't need validation from anyone but me.
Love the lippy sketch at the beginning :-D :-D :-D I think that's one thing we narc abuse recoverers need to rediscover - our sense of humour! Life gets so serious when you're going through all this. So glad I found your stuff here - just yesterday.... I think a few months ago I was still too raw to be able to focus on my own inner truths... Now I am ready :- bring it on! So much to take on board in these two boundary videos... Boundaries deffo a glaring issue in my life...... More on boundaries and triggers please! The part about triggers in this video alone is going to be of tremendous help....but if you could go over this subject for a bit more I think that will help it to sink in. I think maybe more about how to detach from that triggered feeling and what to do with it once you have, would be enormously helpful. Thanks for this. You're fab... with or without the lippy :-D :-D :-D
Loved this& first vid. Had to keep stopping it to write down little nuggets of wisdom. Looking forward to more!
Fabulous video on boundaries that goes beyond 'you need them' to how it actually FEELS to create and implement them. I would add that keep thriving not because there is nothing else to do but because it is our desire, our right, and it shows respect for the gift we have of being alive. Delighted to have found your words.
I love the use of the word 'self-partnering' in the series ! It's so meaningful at so many levels !! Totally appreciate your work !
Thanks Melanie. This is the most helpful video about boundaries that I have seen.
Thank you for this series. I never learned to set boundaries, every time I tried they were immediately blown up so eventually I stopped trying. Alwas put other's needs ahead of my own and still working on comprehending that part.
You are so right about setting boundaries. It's weird because I thought I was strong about boundaries with others and even throughout my relationship with the narcissist, but other times, I knew he was doing so many things to set me up, and I let it go and ignored it. Those violations took over me because I loved him. I know now how weak I was. That's why I feel the same for not being stronger.
Mel could you do a video on work place bullying and how to handle a situation especially when you have followed all the proper policies of the company to resolve the issue but upper management ignores the situation.
thanks
dave
You really get it! Thanks for helping the rest of us sort through the quicksand and make it out! Love your message and the candid delivery in which you express it.
p.s. It has Really helped...The Best series for me. i see I have Inner Child models of awaiting the 'Prince to Rescue me' & doing 0 but being helpless & Very dependent. These 'Ladybird' stories have played Massively in my old programming. In one "Sleeping beauty": she lies in a deep sleep & He has to cut his way thru deep briars to reach her. (The only Truth is see now is: she was Unconscious & asleep!) I saw that All my life. Now I see the external briars are my internal thickets to upleavel. Brilliant series. It is Soo helping me. Thank you So much. Now just gotta plug into the NARP QFH to upleavel All the wounds/ my old/our own Cultural norms around the woman waiting around to be rescued. I Need to Rescue Me! I have had nothing but hurt due to old outmoded programmes in Me.... over & over again.It is Now up to me to upleavel My wounds to meet a new reality. I cannot blame ...I attracted My own wounds. Bless you. Jess M xx
Thank you for making me feel better about not knowing how to set boundaries. I thought it was a natural thing. People who really care, healthy people, have an impossible time understanding why we act this way. Well she must like abuse, she keeps going back. I was just trying to get what I was supposed to so I could take care it. I love growing up😊
Thank you so much for yet another brilliant and helpful video. I get excited when I receive your e mails and can't wait to find time alone to listen. Feels like a light has been switched on.
I bought the silver NARP last year but I cannot get past stage one because I cannot find my childhood trauma. I had a really happy childhood. Having listened to all your videos, EVERYTHING you say makes sense. From you I have learned is that I am an empath co-dependent wife , but I probably cannot find the trauma because I was the apple do daddy's eye and had a wonderful mum too so I was very immature and never had to think for myself. So finding a clear starting point from which to get off the ground with NARP is difficult.
Now after 29 years of marriage,boundaries are hard to put into place whilst still living/working in this business partnership with my narc. You are my life line so I hope you keep making your videos. My aim is to look as happy and radiant as you one day. X
+Jane Gore you are very welcome. I really want to urge you to consider moving from Silver to Gold - so that you can have full Community support with the NARP Forum - because I promise you there is childhood programming there - and in no way is that taking away from the great childhood you had ... To do this all you need to do is email support@melanietoniaevans.com Occasionally this happens - people like yourself - and I explain this situation fully in my 3 Keys Webinars - and I'd love you to join in one of those too - www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar You are only a couple of tweaks away from having your NARP experience open up to where it needs to be to start getting profound shifts. xx
I left the most recent bout with a narcissist in 10 days and had not had sex with him in that time either. While it may have been a bit of a slip to have given him the time of day in any case at all.... Once he showed his abusive side and his complete inability to deal with a healthy boundary...I left and demanded no contact with a witness, knowing the next level would be a legal matter if he breached it. Thanks for all that you do. xx
My pleasure Amber and I hope this has helped xoxo
Thank you for this and all your videos. I have a situation where walking away or removing a personality disordered person from my life is not an option because it is a coworker. I know the solution lies in me and not them changing but it is hard and I am intimidated by this person. I know the principle of showing up powerfully is the same whether it's a lover, friend, or family member but aside from leaving the job, there are fewer options in dealing with the situation when it's a coworker or boss. I think this topic could be beneficial to many who face this challenge in their life. Thank you for reading my comment.
+Rinat Ludwig Watch Melanie's video on youtube, "Quanta Freedom Healing From Switzerland with Sandra". It's lengthy, and you'll have to be willing to sit still and focus your attention for a while, but if you substitute your situation with Sandra's as you follow along with the process, you just may realise some real benefit from this very powerful healing method. And, when you change on the inside, even just a little, the world outside changes with you. It must - because YOU have changed. Good Luck!
+Arnel Nacino Thank you I'll definitely check it out
This was perhaps your most helpful vid for me. I always come back to you for clarity. Thank you so much for explaining so clearly and concisely. This is life saving information for me and my gratitude is immense!
General additional random comment, "narcissists" teach us one lesson: The only real thing is love. They are master teachers in that regard. That one can be "a victim of narcissistic abuse" is just an illusion... I am sure that once you change your focus to see the blessing, the lesson that narcissist brought to your life, healing will be forthcoming. We are not here to be loved by other humans in the manner that our human mind deems "fair" or just. That is what a "narcissist" is trying to help us see. The narcissist is shouting: "everything is illusion, except that which is not! "
Kia Ora! Your accent gave you away.
Good stuff here, hats off to you. Really, really, really powerful and liberating!
Hi Mel, and all in the community! Just watching this now. Very timely! Despite being 56 I seem to be attracting people as I did in my 20s, since doing the quanta freedom healing. Am enjoying life and my own connection to myself so much, feeling happier than ever in my life, and freer. So as these various people are wandering in and out of my energy field it is highly educational to watch how i am reacting with them, because definitely some want to be controllers. Am right there with realizing that when and where I grew up was an ideal pressure cooker for codependents. So having conscious boundary blueprints are really useful and helpful. It is a really good addition to how I am tweaking mod 11 from narp. (Been tweaking that for professional growth as I am starting over in life.) Will be fun to see where we all are in a year!
Thought for the future: I have been working energetically with allowing energy connection and then stepping back consciously to keep my own energy field clear. Working with shamanic type techniques on this, since am an empath. More work and knowledge around this topic would be very good! There are probably many techniques, I would like to know more about it.
Thank you & love as always -
Valerie
I love this video series on boundaries, Melanie. It totally resonates with what I'm going through and all of this work is a living practice for me. I wanted to know if you could go a little more deeply into the process of how to create a sense of psychological safety for ourself. Through the Narp recovery process, I discovered and have been clearing this wound where I was constantly looking for men to create safety for me and saw how that search led me to mentally abusive relationships. Self-partnering with my inner child has been huge for me and last night I had a breakthrough about this but I want to strengthen this self-loving relationship and release the judgments I had against myself for being scared in the first place and then build safety within myself. Thank you so much. 💜💜😇🙏 ~Mita
You're a beautiful person inside and out. I am not going to try to tell you how to dress or wear your makeup. This is not something that an adult would say to another adult. Thanks for you being there to help us.
Mel, You are wonderul! Everything single said you said is right on! and your wonderful energy got it through. We need more of this. Repeating this is worth it! BTW, I loved your humanness when you did the thing around not swearing on youtube...the thing is you are "REAL" ! Love it
+Kamala Masters Bless and thank you!
Hello lovely Mel ,you are so clever and beautiful.I'm sure I speak for all the people on here who love you when I say that we hope you find the true love that you deserve in your self and in your man.I had 29 years with my narc,(text book stuff ) now at 61 I have found my soul mate.we are in love and getting married this year .I was like you Mel at rock bottom .I want to remind people never to give up ,love is both within yourself and out there just waiting for you to find yourself and find it .With much love to all those suffering and recovering from "narcdom" xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
+Michelle Thompson Thank you! I am so, so happy for you that is divine - and thank you so much for your warm and loving wishes
You are just great, Melanie! It seems that you came into my mind and speak out what was unconscious. Thank you for all you are doing for people!!!
Bless you Anna, I'm so happy to be able to help you! Love and blessings xoxox
Amazing! Great stuff Mel!! Thank You
+Karyn Choate My pleasure lovely lady! xoxox
Great again, and much needed to own the responses that my body has to the triggers that cause stress and inner panic. Currently there is no romantic partner in my life yet there are still many things to have and observe boundaries with! The body knows... thanks Mel! Much love!
+Mary Cullen my pleasure and so glad you enjoyed!
Bless you Melanie!
Melanie...hahah! That was cute...I got the beginning lipstick joke! ;-)
+solis LOL! xx
Great! This is just what I needed to be reminded of - because of so many men leaving my life at the moment .... and I was asking myself what's wrong with me - am I too "picky"??? No - I am not. I want to be honoured, respected, valued and believed! I want to live it, breath it, be it - as you said. Never again I will feel like I felt without boudaries! I now know the difference because I did the inner work (inner child work - and now NARP - which is even more empowering because of the connection to source energy supply :-) ) It just works! Thank you again for explaining all this so well! It confirmed to me that I am on the right track! I think I got it - it feels just great - safe and calm. But still have to train... every day - not to loose that track. I am just at the beginning ..! Lots of love and thanks for great your support!
My absolute pleasure Claudia. I am so glad to help. Love and blessings xoxox
Thankyou for this video. I found it most useful. I have been doing self work, and I have come to some conclusions that concure with what you are saying. It is really nice to actually be hearing it from you as well. Not that I am not myself relying on others opinions -mind! Love and light xx
Awww Catriona, I know what you mean sweetheart and I am delighted it was useful and resonates with you. Thrive on!! xoxox
Thankyou , thankyou , thankyou. I had an aha moment. I am so pleased. I had a hyper-ventilating moment when the narc out of my life tried to hoover back into my circle. It was scary and awful as anything. Thought I was going to have a heart or stroke thing or such. As you mentioned it here; I had a flashback to a bullying incident when I was about 7 or 8 years old; and the headmaster dismissed us as wasting his time and making him sick with us. I felt powerless and like it was my fault. Back to the recent past; my feelings of powerlessness and no where to go brought it all on for me. Luckily my friends and posse rallied around, and the two (not one) Narcs left the scene defeated. Now I realise what that what the hyper ventilating was about, I can sort that if it comes again. At the scene; one of my friends told me to hold my breath; and it stopped it. Thankyou again.
My pleasure Catriona, I'm pleased this resonated with you so strongly sweetheart - keep thriving! xoxox
Hi Mel... first a huge thank you to you for completely being my virtual friend and mentor for the past several months as I heal, uplevel, and move on from a narcissistic relationship. I have watched many of your videos and have shared your link with many professionals in the field of counseling as well as friends.
Though I feel I'm making progress, I'm still having triggers. After I left the narc in my life, I got a new job and promotion- only to find that some of the people I supervise have the same projection, no boundary, and blame and shame tendencies! Isn't life amazing that way?? I am their supervisor and struggle quite a bit with how to deal with the constant anger that I feel from them on a near weekly basis. Unlike the narc, I can't just walk away and I need to be concerned with doing the most professional thing. Can you cover this at some point- workplace difficulties?
Thanks again... you are changing my life!!! Lots of love.
+Jill U So p;eased I am helping you - and yes absolutely I will cover this! Lots of love back to you
I so deeply truly loveeeee your series. It's really been a blessing. many thanks. I'd love more videos on up leveling negative beliefs and holding yourself accountable to the work of up lifting your standards.
+ALABRASILIANA I 'm so glad my series helped you! I certainly can - and ultimately in my Webinar Groups this is where you have the real experiences in your body on "how to do this" up close and personal www.melanietonaievans.com/freewebinar x
Thank you! I will be attending the webinar, looking forward to it!
What a GENEROUS sharing. Thank you so much
+Mutty Isis Bless and my pleasure :) x
;)
+Melanie Tonia Evans I loved the lipstick on opening!
LOL ;)
Okay, first, I had to stop the video because I was laughing so hard at the beginning. OMG it was adorable!! It shows a little side of laughter in life, that punctuates the work needed to be done for ourselves with some joy and laughter in the process. The video itself was packed with very important points, and I will need to see it over and over again - and I'll love to. Your passion about helping get these things across works for me. Your principles of self love and validation and partnering (see, I'm listening) are a wonderful adjunct to my Al Anon program. I think because they both tap into an idea that is universal, and healing. So...Thank you so much, for helping me see how to heal during the course of leaving (divorcing) my NPD person.
+Cathy Anne Glad you had a chuckle. Fun is SUCH a part of thriving! You are so welcome :) xxx
Great video...boundaries r everything ...I've been struggling with them for years ...any suggestions for those of us that feel guilty for setting up boundaries to protect ourselves ...guilt was so what my parents kept me in control with...so now I do it to myself ...it's right in the pit of my stomach ...THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH for all the work u r doing ...I just found u this week over spring break ....you r helping me SOOO much!!!
+beth w I will be doing a vid on "Guilt", also ... if you are ready to really meet and heal this in your body - check out coming into my next Webinar Group www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xx
Very good video! Nothing to add, just liked it alot.
Wow! You look amazing in this video! Also, this has been one of your better talks. I like your message and feel that you are totally correct. Keep up the great work!
+Benny Palma Thank you Benny .... Bless, and I will keep on keeping on :) xx
Thank you for such thoughtful work - - very helpful. Your comment about not swearing was also funny. Different styles; two empowering teachers.
This is just amazing. It has really clarified so much for me. Thank you
Thank you so much for this video. It was exactly what I needed to hear.
Happy Easter Mel.You are helping so many people .Thanks xxx
Terrific video, arrived at an exquisitely appropriate time for me (that feels more than coincidental!). Feeling empowered just watching it, now off to own it :) Thank you.
+Phil Whitaker my pleasure :) So glad it was timely for you. x
Dear Melanie,
I have realy learnt a lot from both your videos of poor boundary functioning. Great work. I plan to share to my fb friends. Mini
thank you Mel, you are an awesome teacher xxx
Thank you Melanie, great videos, I benefit a lot from this!
Thank you, Thank you! I loved this. It helped me so much!!
I would not have managed without the Quantum Healing in NARP. It needed the special input that I could Never have done without NARP. Anyone who struggles...NARP is life changing. It is Worth Everything to just do it.
Powerful video, keep up the good work.
Great depth and insight Thank you!!!
Thank you Melanie! Very helpful
+Lori Ann Miller You are so welcome :) xxx
POWERFULL. thankYou !!
You are so welcome Savannah xoxox
You explain things very good. I don't have much emocional literacy and your videos are practical and effective for me. Thanks.
Happy to hear that Zzui xoxox
You are amazing Melanie, simply love you and love your approach and you are helping me so so much! Bless you
Awww thank you for your beautiful words darling Suzy! Love to you xoxox
Thank you, this is very helpful ! You're a very beautiful person inside and out :)
Subscribed! Heard your stuff before with Richard Gannon. This video could not have come at a better time.
You just talked me through the entire process of helping myself with an immediate prolem, in ONE video.
Thank you, and I will explore more of your videos as I go along.
+marsh phoenix My pleasure and welcome onboard! xoxox
I bless and accept this feeling 💗
Excellent, as usual. Thank you xx
Thank you for your service I appreciate this so much
You’re so very camera friendly, any comments to the contrary are pure envy. Thanks for these nutritious lessons!
Thank you so much for this video. Finding these have changed my life.
Hahahaha the lipstick. You crack me up! Highest five! And I lost my shit last night! Now I get why. Thank you! He's not a NARC, took the quiz. But he is at a level of codependency and unhealed wounds himself. Since I started setting boundaries, it's been difficult. Our relationship has not been so great. There have been times where he meets me and owns his shit, apologizes. And times where he does just like the NARC did and says nasty things, blames me, projects, etc. I am at the place where I don't need an outcome and it's like "why would I want to be with you if??" So that is helpful to have you say that. I feel calm most times, it's when my boundary hits an unhealed wound in him or triggers him and I wasn't sure what to do. Walking me through the steps REALLY helped! I am able to go back through last nights big fight and see how I could have done things differently. I also know what I want and how to say it from an empowered place instead of a defending/prescribing place like I was.
+Nikki Weigel yes we can all lose our "stuff" LOL! The more solid you get darl you will see whether or not this starts to up-level. My question, also to you, would be this .... does he work at developing himself and take responsibility for his inner stuff? Is he interested in joining you there as a true evolving partnership? If not - you really have "no deal". x
+Melanie Tonia Evans this was a great question! It caused me to think. There have been times where I though I was setting boundaries, I was setting ultimatums, prescribing, fixing, etc. At those times, no he was not wanting to meet me on the journey, and why would he?! I am very new at setting boundaries, like SUPER new. But I can see a few times in the past (before I found you) where I have set them in our long term relationship in the healed adult way and he has met me there absolutely. Since yesterday, I have restated my boundaries I mucked up the first time and it was a completely different experience. I think that is telling of the type of soul he is and partner.
thank you Melanie! you are the best!!!!!Yoy know besides the things you are saying that i so much appreciate, I am also learning english (i live in Greece) the way you speak which i find it sooooo cute!!! thank you again....bye bye!!
My pleasure and I am so pleased this resonated with you! Your English is great xoxox
Thanks!
This is so helpful!
Mel, I really needed to hear this, because, in the middle of a conversation with someone today, that person walked off into another room in the middle of my sentence. I was angry and told him when he returned that this action was rude and highly disrespectful which was definitely a boundary violation and then pushed it further by stating that he saw I was just thinking about what I was going to say next so did not think that there was a problem at all. Excuse me I said nobody can possibly know what is going or not going on in my head at any given time and I was in the middle of a sentence. Wow I actually fell into a trap and I should know better. Back to module 1. Helen
+H Bruce always these times are an opportunity to up-level Helen, and when we go in to get it out we sooo find the gift - and so will you darling lady! You are doing great :) xoxox
Wow, thank you so much for the heads up Mel. Love you, Helen xxxo
Going forward as an adult, the I, Me, now... I can progress rather than regress [why wallow wade and drown]... thanks a bunch. They to grow up when it comes to handling new wounds. Same old way reestablishes obstacles, as when we were children.
Good examples you gave in this video👍
In both pt 1 and pt 2, the meat of the message happens near the end of videos, and it's important to hang in there.
you nailed it! i am not a victim
i set boundaries i choose
Please do more videos on boundaries, this is such a tough subject for me to grasp. How do I let go of my fears of abandonment and rejection? I think my fears are the reason I haven't enforced my boundaries in the past.
great awareness... for me a long time coming.
So how does one actually do this after a life time of conditioning?
boundaries... scary
I understand it first starts with awareness... and I am so appreciative for that.
would love concrete steps in how to work with the fear of abandonment and consequence after setting a boundary
ever time I do... they leave.
which I know is a good thing however it's getting mighty lonely here.
with each boundary I exercise comes a deep panic.and loneliness.
Tho recently broke out in tears in front of him and he wanted me to sit in his lap and apologized...tho he wanted to save me...which may of felt good in the moment and got me to apologize back...though it was also disempowering.
I got badly triggered yesterday. The videos are helping. I spent the entire night crying. I don’t understand what u said towards the end....life reflects our state.....It always catches me off guard...I felt happy in the morning....I didnt see it coming basically.....And I get stuck in feeling a victim to the circumstance, instead of owning it. I dont see how I create it basically. Or I am trying to see still.
Hi Radha hun, I would love to show you the direct method to get true relief that is lasting. Have you heard about NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp ? It is the process that has freed myself and so many others from the trauma of this. If you wish to, please come into my free webinar www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar to expereince how Qunata Freedom Healing can help you heal for real. I hope this helps xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans Hello Melanie, I am a girl who has used and is still using your modules. We have met briefly before in the support forum. I am still taking a while to get some things. I just went for walk and did module 4 a lot. I am getting more serious about my need to keep going with all this. Thankyou, and Im sorry for how long it takes me to 'get things'. Please keep doing the work you do. It gives me a way out. xxxx
I love this ❗️❗️❗️Thank you☝🏽️☝🏽☝🏽Sending love and light from beautiful Cape Town, SA ✌️
Thank you!! So much!
Dear Melanie, thank you for your videos and great informations. I worked with many woman through my hairdressing carrier, I retired from. I now serve many woman with my Soul's/lives gifts. I talk to many women and serve them with the wisdom I collected through many lives, I believe. I also experienced narcissism in the past and I like to ask you what is your point of view on witnessing narcissism in the public? Specially in parents children relationships. Recently I traveled, and at the airport I saw how poorly parents treated their 2 young children, a boy and a girl, and it was in the form of "game". I also heard about a scenario where a family member (not a parent) punished a child for touching some "stuff" that should not be touching. What to do in the case when you witness or hear about projecting narcism wounds onto child? Thank you for your insights, I wish you all the best on your journey of Self love. Blessings
I definitely needed to hear this today thank you
You're so welcome, Robin. xoxox
You are helping me soooo much
Melanie, i agree whole heartedly. awesome lecture : )
This video was excellent - so the best way in your opinion to heal the inner wounds is to do one of your quantum healing sessions in order to self-partner and re-program old belief systems? I have stopped the temporary quick fixes and I am alone...I feel the pain every day. I would like to learn more about healing that pain....can you elaborate on that part?
Kathy if you look at www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp that will help you understand more about the Program of mine that the Community works with to heal from N-abuse (all the susceptibilities which led us there) .. xox
This is how i know he is for sure a narc is when i express how i feel and set boundaries...he disrespects me!
Beautiful, thank you for this great insight, it's very helpful. Sending peace & love :^)
+Lisa B My pleasure
Great Video
Whoever criticized your lipstick before was just a jealous fool! You look great and your lipstick is perfect!
My comment on narcissists - what comes around, goes around. Don't ever try to exact revenge yourself. That is always up to a higher power. Just be honest and truthful and live by the Golden Rule.