Its funny how anyone who talks about men's issues feels the need to put a huge disclaimer about how they also care about women before daring to say anything. It really speaks to our current social climate.
I’m an army vet currently student teaching in a 7th grade ELA classroom in Hawaii. I hear this message deeply, hence my choice of profession. I also see the stories Richard points to in painful detail. Thanks for the discussion!
Great talk, thank you! Of all the things Richard says the one that we should list to most is (paraphrased) "if we don't listen to young mens problems, they'll go to the online manospehere and find someone who will, and that person is probably going to be toxic."
Really appreciate the work being done by Richard Reeves. We need to work together for the common good of our youth and to restore social capital in our communities....
nah, hes very hypocritical. He bashes all internet movements about men, saying they aren't men at all but later he dares to say he cares about young male population in general.
One word: local. Think of 5 boys you know right now and spend time with them regularly. Your own children, their friends, your nephews, godchildren, or neighborhood kids. Yes, National policy matters, but the biggest impact you and I can make is in people who are physically near us. Coach a team, plant a garden, read a book, take a walk, go to church, fix a broken pipe, get an ice cream and bring some kids along with you. ✌️
I think 'local' is a good point -- just not a one word point. Because structural policies do so much to constrain or open up opportunities to think and act locally with those in (or not in) our midst. You mention children -- while Richard doesn't go directly into this much in this particular talk, when policies constrain fathers from being in their children's lives, for example, they/we cannot invest in children who aren't physically near us. So I would say it is definitely a both/and -- local presence/national (as well as regional) policy
We need to remember that some dads are single and in some families there are two dads (same sex couples). In a truly free society individual would be respected and acknowledged regardless of their relationships with others.
Who cares about the struggles of Boys and Men ? Mr Reeves Thank You for your work it matters. The tipping point of confusion needs to be addressed truthfully. Please start now .
I didn't see Dr. Niobe Way's book "Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection" in the reference list. She has been working in the space of boyhood, friendship, and masculinity for decades. Highly recommend her work if you enjoy Richard's ideas here.
Actual psychologists, sociologists, and educators aren't allowed to discuss this; just journalists, lawyers, and business majors. If they invited us into this room the myth that this is an invisible crisis would be dispelled.
What no-one gets is making better boys will make things better for girls. Making better girls will make things better for boys. We should be trying to create the best boys and girls...humans, we can. And if that involves different approaches for sexes then so be it. We consider this for boys and girls on the spectrum or with learning difficulties...we teach differently, we give them different things. Yet....we standardize learning for both sexes. It's daft. And anyone that says well we don't have to worry about boys and need to focus on girls is incredibly ignorant and discriminatory. Zero sum for girls is beyond stupid. Just as zero sum for boys was...once. One would think in searching for equality we don't tilt the complete opposite way.
In Christina Sommer's book The War Against Boys, the author mentions segregated schools along the lines of male and female. She cites how some federal policy title 8, 9, or 10 I do not remember exactly, but blocks this type of education. Regardless she shows how this type of education benefits both boys and girls. I often think on how the scientific renaissance as well as economic boom were born out of this type of education. It seems to me Mr. Reeves is fearful of mentioning this.
Yes as a student from all girls school from kindergarten to high school I do see a huge benefit of gender segregated school.. More girls were able to focus on more education , openly laugh and be loud without worrying about some guy finding them unattractive.. Girls also participated in sports as all of the sports were specifically aimed at girls and we were much more comfortable running and jumping around in sports shorts without the fear of harrasment... Meanwhile boys in the boys school are also able to focus more on their studies without being in competition with their friends for the most beautiful girl in the class and able to focus more on studies, and hobbies.. But my only problem is that then there also needs to be a healthy form of socialisation between boys and girls beyond the opposite gender being a sex partner.. Like challenging based on healthy differences and normal platonic friendships.. In our region the single gender schools do exist and they're fun but usually we're taught from an early age that being with the opposite gender is bad because s*x and also that opposite gender is a 'distraction' from a successful future or friendships with same gender friends.. Our school really had some awful misconceptions about boys and vice versa.. Our schools were Catholic convents and boys only so hating on the opposite gender was actually considered a 'good' thing as it kept us all away from 'sin' (s*x).. Even teachers would encourage girls to be cruel to the opposite gender.. Alot of which we're unlearning now..
Reeves proposal could be interpreted as a "DEI" type of solution, where he wants to equalize the outcome. But, given the Neuroscience behind the differences in mental development between boys and girls, he really is proposing an "equality of opportunity" solution which will probably help balance the outcomes between boys and girls but not necessarily exactly equate the end result. No doubt that it is a problem, and solutions are needed.
You can't extract the differences in neurodevelopment from the fact that mothers emotionally neglect their sons compared to their daughters from basically birth. And primarily female teachers in K-12 education discriminate against boys from the start. We need to focus on getting rid of that anti-boy discrimination before we try anything stupid like this which may disenfranchise boys more.
You have to take into account that starting boys later in real school increases the cost of child care. For the families that might need it most this might not be an option.
Not just a imbalance in teachers, but psychology also. The lack of support networks and systems. When the statistics show they are needed. Also prison statistics and populations. Male vs female populations and abuse statistics. Lesbian vs gay abuse rates. Also the disparity in male vs female sentences for the same crimes. Child care to probability of problems later on like prison. Couples do best, single males next, single females had the highest probability of a kid getting into trouble later on. Also things like abuse shelters need to be made. The statistics support such.
Indifference concerning the struggles of Boys and Men is not acceptable nor helpful because the government does not have the political will to change the situation on the grounds of no data of suicide, educational struggles and more .
Jenner delivered a first ballot Hall of Fame performance for most antagonistic and utterly obnoxious interview in 2023 of a speaker trying to share finding, problems and potential solutions at a conference designed to share findings, problems and potential solutions. My wife and I did laundry, baked a cake and knitted a sweater in the time it took Jenner to stop talking about herself and deliver each question, making sure to insult the speak on a regular basis.
Are you delusional? Women couldnt even iwn a business until 1988 and have a bank acount until 1974 just to name a few. Men who play victims are dangerous!
The reality is that Mr. Reeves sees the correct data and extrapolates a correct outcome in isolation, however, the reality is that all the progress and catering to women does in fact come at the expense of men. The restructuring of the world to cater to female success and sensitivities has resulted in the destruction of Men's historic and desired roles as providers and protector while simultaneously destroying the relationship paradigm between the sexes that our species has had throughout essentially all of time. Boys don't try to become Men because it is no longer worth the attempt for the vast majority when they do the hard math on the cost-benefit analysis of building a family, especially with the quality of women now available. Add to that the loss of Christian principles that undergird the entire system and the incentive structure for Men to act well and the entire system is headed for a catastrophic break. He is right about the most important thing though if the problem doesn't get fixed then eventually you will get a movement of disaffected men who see that they have nothing to lose by breaking the whole society (likely through violence) and if that group is large enough then there will be no stopping them and everyone will have to live in the new and likely worse world they will build.
@Joe-ku1koWomen don’t hold much power so we don’t need to worry about them not voting on helping men resolve their issues. It’s men in power, just gotta convince them, like Reeves said here, leaders are more scared than they should. That generation of men are ruled by their wives anyway. Future generations of male leaders who are aware of this will 100% change this and turn the tides since they’re firsthand witnesses and victims of this male malaise that’s going on.
As to your K-12 graph 23% male teachers is pretty close to most nations ratio including Asia where boys are producing some astounding results. Chinese boys are outperforming the rest of the world whether they be boys or girls. However, perversely, Chinese girls are doing even better than Chinese boys maintaining a gender gap, but way above the level of white working class students' results. This is down to physiological differences between girls and boys during puberty. Male puberty falls across most of the high school years unfortunately. During this time boys get a massive shot of testosterone which can make them aggressive, obstinate, self opinionated and generally difficult to teach. It shouldn't be a surprise then why so many boys are diagnosed as having ADHD which is just masking bad behaviour and would be better tackled with better discipline and co-operation of parents. Whereas girls tend to be more compliant and independent. The testosterone issue normally subsides by the time boys reach 16. However by this time the damage is already done and few boys manage to catch up. So what about the disparity between western/eastern results? Well anybody who has had Chinese/Indian students in their classes, as I have had over many years, will know the reason and it's blindingly obvious - it is due to parental engagement mainly. That is engagement with their children AND schools. Asian parents are 'supercharging' and 'hothousing' their children's learning whether they are wealthy or poor. I know after speaking with many Asian parents they have very high expectations and aspirations for their children usually and push them into doing hours of extra work every week. I have often had Asian students ask me for extra, harder homework. Compare this with white students where parent abuse of teachers is common and often homework not even attempted. However children from white, wealthy families do well as they tend to be nurtured by their parents as they are seen as an investment in the future. Additionally Asian students are usually much more attentive during class. Interestingly, a British govt delegation went to China a few years back to visit schools to see what the secret of their success was. They were shown round groups of students usually of about 50 sitting in total silence furiously making notes with a teacher using a white board (not smart) with no other teaching aids other than a white board pen. What a shock they got!, but a good sign of forced learning. So the secret is out - Asian children (particularly boys) are working far harder than their white western counterparts. Thankfully I had pushy, supportive parents 50 odd years ago as most parents of that era were, but not to the extent of modern Asian parents however. There was no high school gender gap in the UK up to the mid 1980s when the great liberalisation of education started and children started to take charge of their own learning (or lack of it). Boys quickly took advantage of this to take their feet off the gas, gone was the constraining discipline which was keeping them on the straight and narrow and successful generally. It was known at the time that there may be issues with discipline, but there was no Plan B as there was to be no difference in the way that boys and girls were to be taught ensuring equality of the sexes. Girls however have had a seamless transition to this new style of education because it suits their nature. Hence one might say that we have now found the reason for boys disengagement from learning - feminisation of education. but not in the same way as is commonly thought. The good news is this is not a zero sum situation as girls appear to thrive whatever the style of learning.
Its funny how anyone who talks about men's issues feels the need to put a huge disclaimer about how they also care about women before daring to say anything. It really speaks to our current social climate.
Yes!
@@Jester375 Yes, and notice how the reverse is not true. It is a form of sexism that rarely gets addressed.
Right, you have to couch it in "I know you don't give a damn about men, but hurting men also hurts women!"
100% I say this often
beautiful topic. i'm always emotional whenever i hear Richard Reeves talk.
and I'm a CIS Male
I’m an army vet currently student teaching in a 7th grade ELA classroom in Hawaii. I hear this message deeply, hence my choice of profession. I also see the stories Richard points to in painful detail. Thanks for the discussion!
Aww, as a feminist woman, i say..keep up the good work, Sarge
We need more parental figures like you..🥰❤
Great talk, thank you! Of all the things Richard says the one that we should list to most is (paraphrased) "if we don't listen to young mens problems, they'll go to the online manospehere and find someone who will, and that person is probably going to be toxic."
Really appreciate the work being done by Richard Reeves. We need to work together for the common good of our youth and to restore social capital in our communities....
nah, hes very hypocritical. He bashes all internet movements about men, saying they aren't men at all but later he dares to say he cares about young male population in general.
Finally, someone who isn't afraid to say what needs to be said.
One word: local. Think of 5 boys you know right now and spend time with them regularly. Your own children, their friends, your nephews, godchildren, or neighborhood kids. Yes, National policy matters, but the biggest impact you and I can make is in people who are physically near us. Coach a team, plant a garden, read a book, take a walk, go to church, fix a broken pipe, get an ice cream and bring some kids along with you. ✌️
I think 'local' is a good point -- just not a one word point. Because structural policies do so much to constrain or open up opportunities to think and act locally with those in (or not in) our midst. You mention children -- while Richard doesn't go directly into this much in this particular talk, when policies constrain fathers from being in their children's lives, for example, they/we cannot invest in children who aren't physically near us. So I would say it is definitely a both/and -- local presence/national (as well as regional) policy
We need to remember that some dads are single and in some families there are two dads (same sex couples). In a truly free society individual would be respected and acknowledged regardless of their relationships with others.
Who cares about the struggles of Boys and Men ? Mr Reeves Thank You for your work it matters.
The tipping point of confusion needs to be addressed truthfully. Please start now .
2500 views and 6 comments on this important talk is a stark reminder on how much people care.
I didn't see Dr. Niobe Way's book "Deep Secrets: Boys’ Friendships and the Crisis of Connection" in the reference list. She has been working in the space of boyhood, friendship, and masculinity for decades. Highly recommend her work if you enjoy Richard's ideas here.
Actual psychologists, sociologists, and educators aren't allowed to discuss this; just journalists, lawyers, and business majors. If they invited us into this room the myth that this is an invisible crisis would be dispelled.
What no-one gets is making better boys will make things better for girls. Making better girls will make things better for boys. We should be trying to create the best boys and girls...humans, we can. And if that involves different approaches for sexes then so be it. We consider this for boys and girls on the spectrum or with learning difficulties...we teach differently, we give them different things.
Yet....we standardize learning for both sexes. It's daft. And anyone that says well we don't have to worry about boys and need to focus on girls is incredibly ignorant and discriminatory. Zero sum for girls is beyond stupid. Just as zero sum for boys was...once. One would think in searching for equality we don't tilt the complete opposite way.
In Christina Sommer's book The War Against Boys, the author mentions segregated schools along the lines of male and female. She cites how some federal policy title 8, 9, or 10 I do not remember exactly, but blocks this type of education. Regardless she shows how this type of education benefits both boys and girls. I often think on how the scientific renaissance as well as economic boom were born out of this type of education. It seems to me Mr. Reeves is fearful of mentioning this.
Yes as a student from all girls school from kindergarten to high school I do see a huge benefit of gender segregated school..
More girls were able to focus on more education , openly laugh and be loud without worrying about some guy finding them unattractive.. Girls also participated in sports as all of the sports were specifically aimed at girls and we were much more comfortable running and jumping around in sports shorts without the fear of harrasment... Meanwhile boys in the boys school are also able to focus more on their studies without being in competition with their friends for the most beautiful girl in the class and able to focus more on studies, and hobbies..
But my only problem is that then there also needs to be a healthy form of socialisation between boys and girls beyond the opposite gender being a sex partner..
Like challenging based on healthy differences and normal platonic friendships..
In our region the single gender schools do exist and they're fun but usually we're taught from an early age that being with the opposite gender is bad because s*x and also that opposite gender is a 'distraction' from a successful future or friendships with same gender friends..
Our school really had some awful misconceptions about boys and vice versa..
Our schools were Catholic convents and boys only so hating on the opposite gender was actually considered a 'good' thing as it kept us all away from 'sin' (s*x)..
Even teachers would encourage girls to be cruel to the opposite gender..
Alot of which we're unlearning now..
@@Iamhere829 "Alot of which we're unlearning now.."
Seems like it's only getting worse.
Get an improved worth for male teaching education in college to increase male teachers!
Reeves proposal could be interpreted as a "DEI" type of solution, where he wants to equalize the outcome. But, given the Neuroscience behind the differences in mental development between boys and girls, he really is proposing an "equality of opportunity" solution which will probably help balance the outcomes between boys and girls but not necessarily exactly equate the end result. No doubt that it is a problem, and solutions are needed.
You can't extract the differences in neurodevelopment from the fact that mothers emotionally neglect their sons compared to their daughters from basically birth. And primarily female teachers in K-12 education discriminate against boys from the start. We need to focus on getting rid of that anti-boy discrimination before we try anything stupid like this which may disenfranchise boys more.
Mr Reeves is doing important work! Men need to feel like it's taken seriously and we will see less boys and men fall into the extremists pit.
I want there to be an Opera, "Richrd Reev" with a ballet corps, an artists troupe, an meldey of musicians and some film people.
You have to take into account that starting boys later in real school increases the cost of child care. For the families that might need it most this might not be an option.
Not just a imbalance in teachers, but psychology also. The lack of support networks and systems. When the statistics show they are needed. Also prison statistics and populations. Male vs female populations and abuse statistics. Lesbian vs gay abuse rates. Also the disparity in male vs female sentences for the same crimes. Child care to probability of problems later on like prison. Couples do best, single males next, single females had the highest probability of a kid getting into trouble later on. Also things like abuse shelters need to be made. The statistics support such.
5 minutes of apologizing to women before he even starts
Indifference concerning the struggles of Boys and Men is not acceptable nor helpful because the government does not have the political will to change the situation on the grounds of no data of suicide, educational struggles and more .
Jenner delivered a first ballot Hall of Fame performance for most antagonistic and utterly obnoxious interview in 2023 of a speaker trying to share finding, problems and potential solutions at a conference designed to share findings, problems and potential solutions. My wife and I did laundry, baked a cake and knitted a sweater in the time it took Jenner to stop talking about herself and deliver each question, making sure to insult the speak on a regular basis.
The fact that he has to spend a few minutes telling us that women still have problems is ridiculous. "It's OK! Women are still more important!"
Are you delusional? Women couldnt even iwn a business until 1988 and have a bank acount until 1974 just to name a few. Men who play victims are dangerous!
Public policy problem = culturral probklem
The reality is that Mr. Reeves sees the correct data and extrapolates a correct outcome in isolation, however, the reality is that all the progress and catering to women does in fact come at the expense of men. The restructuring of the world to cater to female success and sensitivities has resulted in the destruction of Men's historic and desired roles as providers and protector while simultaneously destroying the relationship paradigm between the sexes that our species has had throughout essentially all of time. Boys don't try to become Men because it is no longer worth the attempt for the vast majority when they do the hard math on the cost-benefit analysis of building a family, especially with the quality of women now available. Add to that the loss of Christian principles that undergird the entire system and the incentive structure for Men to act well and the entire system is headed for a catastrophic break. He is right about the most important thing though if the problem doesn't get fixed then eventually you will get a movement of disaffected men who see that they have nothing to lose by breaking the whole society (likely through violence) and if that group is large enough then there will be no stopping them and everyone will have to live in the new and likely worse world they will build.
exactly
Wow well said
@Joe-ku1koWomen don’t hold much power so we don’t need to worry about them not voting on helping men resolve their issues.
It’s men in power, just gotta convince them, like Reeves said here, leaders are more scared than they should. That generation of men are ruled by their wives anyway.
Future generations of male leaders who are aware of this will 100% change this and turn the tides since they’re firsthand witnesses and victims of this male malaise that’s going on.
As to your K-12 graph 23% male teachers is pretty close to most nations ratio including Asia where boys are producing some astounding results. Chinese boys are outperforming the rest of the world whether they be boys or girls. However, perversely, Chinese girls are doing even better than Chinese boys maintaining a gender gap, but way above the level of white working class students' results. This is down to physiological differences between girls and boys during puberty. Male puberty falls across most of the high school years unfortunately. During this time boys get a massive shot of testosterone which can make them aggressive, obstinate, self opinionated and generally difficult to teach. It shouldn't be a surprise then why so many boys are diagnosed as having ADHD which is just masking bad behaviour and would be better tackled with better discipline and co-operation of parents. Whereas girls tend to be more compliant and independent. The testosterone issue normally subsides by the time boys reach 16. However by this time the damage is already done and few boys manage to catch up.
So what about the disparity between western/eastern results? Well anybody who has had Chinese/Indian students in their classes, as I have had over many years, will know the reason and it's blindingly obvious - it is due to parental engagement mainly. That is engagement with their children AND schools. Asian parents are 'supercharging' and 'hothousing' their children's learning whether they are wealthy or poor. I know after speaking with many Asian parents they have very high expectations and aspirations for their children usually and push them into doing hours of extra work every week. I have often had Asian students ask me for extra, harder homework. Compare this with white students where parent abuse of teachers is common and often homework not even attempted. However children from white, wealthy families do well as they tend to be nurtured by their parents as they are seen as an investment in the future. Additionally Asian students are usually much more attentive during class. Interestingly, a British govt delegation went to China a few years back to visit schools to see what the secret of their success was. They were shown round groups of students usually of about 50 sitting in total silence furiously making notes with a teacher using a white board (not smart) with no other teaching aids other than a white board pen. What a shock they got!, but a good sign of forced learning. So the secret is out - Asian children (particularly boys) are working far harder than their white western counterparts. Thankfully I had pushy, supportive parents 50 odd years ago as most parents of that era were, but not to the extent of modern Asian parents however.
There was no high school gender gap in the UK up to the mid 1980s when the great liberalisation of education started and children started to take charge of their own learning (or lack of it). Boys quickly took advantage of this to take their feet off the gas, gone was the constraining discipline which was keeping them on the straight and narrow and successful generally. It was known at the time that there may be issues with discipline, but there was no Plan B as there was to be no difference in the way that boys and girls were to be taught ensuring equality of the sexes. Girls however have had a seamless transition to this new style of education because it suits their nature. Hence one might say that we have now found the reason for boys disengagement from learning - feminisation of education. but not in the same way as is commonly thought. The good news is this is not a zero sum situation as girls appear to thrive whatever the style of learning.
ok Mr men going their own way aren't men at all, now be a hypocrite and pretend you care about young men.