In the late 90's I used to babysit on weekdays for a friend's son while the parents were working. She was one of these nervous mothers who wouldn't let this little boy even play at the playground across the street because he might get hurt. This was so different than the way I was raised when I would leave the house to play and wander and stay gone all day. I started taking him to the playground while she was at work because he would watch out the window at the other kids playing across the street and would cry because he wanted to go there, which would cause him to be angry and difficult for the whole day. After I started taking him there he would be calm and happy when we got back home and this change was amazing to me. This convinced me that children need to be outside playing with other children, and not inside the house with their nervous parents.
Even as an adult, I’ve noticed changes in my own life since getting a smart phone. Less exercise, less reading, increased difficulty focusing, more wasted time, and I swear my brain has gotten lazier. The smarter my phone gets the dumber I get. Currently trying to detach and regain some of what I’ve lost w/o losing the benefits of the technology.
Sounds like you're trying to make it easy and flawless for yourself. Ask yourself if you can really disconnect meaningfully without losing some benefits. Something has to go.
I have definitely noticed how addictive this technology can be and I'm a boomer so I grew up in a wonderful time to be a child where we roamed everywhere and explored everywhere. I feel so lucky to have had that. But now I find I am drawn to the internet. I am not using my phone as much. I tend to keep it on mute and at home it doesn't stay with me. I use the camera and the Notes quite a lot and of course I check my email but I don't do much else on it. I try to search for interesting things on the net - like this talk but of course I waste a lot of time looking at useless stuff. Mind you I also wasted hours an hours watching stupid TV programs for years and years. The thing with the internet is that one has to employ critical thinking and question everything one reads and sees. As a tool it can be useful but not when it starts taking up more and more of our time keeping us from interpersonal experiences.
@@sandraelder1101 Notifications are a BIG one. Try just eliminating ALL notifications except for text and calls and like medical alerts if you have that need. Also eliminate any and all auto texts... anything from bots. I actually keep a separate number just for computer systems. As a result I get not spam calls no automated texts no notifications from any app. Only when someone who actually knows me texts or calls do I get notified on my phone. My other phone just works like an answering service and I check it every few days. The difference is IMMENSE.
And the sad thing is that if a child was found fishing on their own these days, the parents would be accused of neglect because of what ‘could’ happen. It’s a tragedy for children.
As a kid in the seventies we'd roam all over town. Got in trouble occasionally and got ourselves out of trouble. We did things that were not OK and got to suffer the consequences of those actions by strangers kicking our asses. Those are my best childhood memories.
As 3rd grade teacher I have used the Let Grow curriculum this year and have been BLOWN AWAY by it. It is a highlight for the kids ever month, and the sharing of the stories of the things that have done independently is so empowering.
As an adult without children, I have always been fascinated by the instinct I have to keep an eye on unattended children while in public. It is almost as if adults are programmed to take a small amount of responsibility for the safety of everyone else's children while in public. I have only rarely needed to intervene to help a child but it's comforting to know that humans have a built-in social safety network to keep children safe in the community.
At 8 years old my son went out the door in the pouring rain with 60 bucks to get an umbrella to attend his great grandmother’s funeral. Yeah 60 bucks is a lot, but I didn’t know how much an umbrella costs and I was ironing a shirt, because I’m a single dad. He needed the independence and I needed him to be independent. He came home, with an umbrella and was so proud. Everyday after that he went to the store on his own. The neighbours all got to know him. He got to know them and there’s so many boomers out there. Later I was told by the employees at the store he bought the umbrella. They said this wet 8 year old boy walked in, grabbed and umbrella, slammed down 60 bucks and walked out. They had to call him back to give him back 45 bucks.
My daughter is now 20, and beginning the healing journey of so much pain caused by the phone. She almost didn’t make it, but that’s another story… I saw so many of these things happening in my tiny world, and nobody really being able to articulate or acknowledge just how deep the damage was going and how out of control it all got so quickly. Reading your book, especially the closing comments, brought me to tears. As much as I have enjoyed the new chapter in our life, this was unhealed trauma for me. These tears were related to how helpless I felt as a father and how thankful I am for your work. Thank you so much Jonathan and team!
Thank you for sharing. If you could go back to say, 12yo, is there anything other than delaying access to social media that you would have done differently? I have an almost 6yo and this stuff scares me silly (mainly at how uninformed I am!!)
Parents shouldn't be let off the hook so easily... parents have a larger part in this than he may elude. Case in point, no kid can afford, buy nor would have a cell phone without the parents.
Yes!!! Exactly this. Patents need to grow a pair and just say no. I’ve explained why to my daughter and she does get it. The sad thing is when the kids who don’t have phones get ignored by the other ones who are just zombies. The whole thing is so wrong.
I was born in 2004. My parents never bought me a phone or computer... but that didn't stop me from working for neighbors and family members to earn enough cash to buy one when I was around 14yo. You can literally get a smart phone for 30$ from dollar general. No Cellular contract necessary. Just use Wi-Fi and your good to go. No monthly payments either. To be fair to my parents though... they did completely disconnect the home Wi-Fi service so most of my growing up I never had internet access except for using my parents phone hotspot when permitted. For me, access to technology has been one the greatest blessings as I am now fluent in 7 programming languages and have learned to LOVE mathematics.
I bought and paid for most of my own clothes, snacks, albums, stereo, car, and more as a kid. I could have easily afforded a smart phone if they were available when I was a kid.
Yup! My kids phones stay locked during the school day and I do breaks on their internet and phone times and they both go hang with friends, run the neighborhood, play games with me, and engage in activities and/or sports. The same cannot be said for my 25 year old who I had zero knowledge of how quickly it was all changing or how me being overprotective wasn’t helping him. He was a good lesson though and he’s doing ok now that we know this.
My fondest memory in elementary school was skateboarding around with a handball going to find different giant walls to play with friends until the sun set. My fondest middle school memory was learning how to do pull-ups and playing basketball with friends. My fondest high school memory was walking 3 miles every morning with my sister and then walking back home. It took about an hour one-way, but I remember we would talk about everything together. The most fun were the times we got in trouble!
20': Five Foundational Harms (ch. 5) 1. Opportunity Cost: 7-9 hours a day 2. Social deprivation (Time with friends down 65% since 2010） 3. Sleep deprivation (up sharply since 2013) 4. Attention fragmentation 5. Behavioral Addiction (2-10%, possible permanent change)
Phenomenal talk from Haidt as usual. His research, articles, and books are incredibly important in this digital day and age. I was born in 86. I have fond memory of playing with friends during my elementary and high school years: building stuff with Legos, riding on our bikes, hanging out at the park, improvising street hockey, gym badminton, playing D&D, renting movies, listening to music, later on trying out beer and weed - and during all that, quite importantly, talking about anything and everything, laughing, and messing around. Sure, I had game consoles, which I loved to play with, but those were 1) one thing among many others, and 2) just another opportunity for in-person social, as there was no online play back then (all couch co-op). I can't imagine what it must be like to grow up on smartphones as a kid and teen. Just school life alone with social media added into the mix must be absolute hell. Offline free-range childhood makes so much sense. Plus, I would argue that learning how to solve conflicts and listen to other points of views is *crucial* to happen sooner rather than later.
I grew up in what he describes as "the decline of play-based childhood" (having a very restrictive mother) and I was always so envious of others who were able to just run around, go out, explore, and do whatever they want. However, now I realize that I was at least lucky I didn't grow up during the phone-based childhood. When I was growing up the internet was still very new, and still mostly a repository of knowledge. It became my way to explore, and probably is one of the reasons I'm so good at programming/engineering and able to teach myself almost anything. Now kids learn nothing and just have propaganda shoved down their mouth on TikTok.
My son is an out door and very sporty/physical boy so I work with that. He has never had a computer and got his phone at 14 just a year ago. He does gravitate toward extreme sports too. He definitely has adhd of some type, family members would say to me when he was young “he needs medication that kid” but I just worked around his needs to be active. I don’t worry about him he’s a wonderful young boy with a zest for life and people. I have no doubts he will go and learn at the right time. And learning will be chosen not forced.
Brilliant research and presentation. Food for thought and action. As a refugee from Ukraine, over the last two years the life priorities have shifted a lot from healthy childhood to survival. My family and many others have become single mom because the men are either in the military or are otherwise not let out of the country. There are millions of people whose kids will be let free range on social media with unlimited phone time because parents (or rather mom) just doesn't have time for quality time, and opportunities for normal play are limited due to relocation and language barriers. There are millions of people affected by this ordeal, and this presentation is very awakening.
my heart goes out to you and all your country. These are very frightening times. Putin must be stopped. All conflicts must stop. I know this won't happen but I hope things will turn around. Now I am worried about the American election. What can we, the ordinary people do? We can talk to one another and stay strong. We can help each other. We must persevere.
This was wonderful! Thank you! I have a 12 year old boy and the pressure he feels to always be on an electronic device to “interact” with friends is frustrating and heartbreaking. It is so difficult to continually fight against screen time when he has many friends whose parents do not monitor or limit it. I hate feeling like an ogre but I love him too much not to try my best every day. My best isn’t perfect but it is effort in the right direction.
Keep up the good fight! I have twin boys almost 17 and I still won’t allow them to have social media or phones in bedrooms at night…computers are always in the family room, and until last year I would check their online history. It’s been exhausting but totally worth it.
Big thanks to Jonathan Haidt! Born in 1996 and this has me feeling seen like NEVER before. Appreciate the insights that connect with my journey. The anxiety isn't just a thing for young American girls; it hits home here in Asia too. Surprisingly, social media, smartphones and online games, despite being around for over a decade, aren't getting talked about much. Definitely a must-watch
Oh... South Asians are risk-averse. In general, they spent their childhood studying or at least, in classrooms, they seldom spent time outside and wouldn't know how to survive in the wild. That's why they would most likely follow rules, especially safety rules.
Prof Jonathan Haidt you are a true international hero! Thank you for your hard work and perseverance and love for the Truth Grazie di cuore Please consider a translation in French, Spanish and Italian
Born in the tail end of millenials. My memories of unsupervised childhood play are always dangerous games which stop when one of the boys hurts himself enough to cry. We awkwardly wait while he calmed down and moved on to the next game. ie falling down a tree, or hitting a rock while sliding down river rapids. I also walked to school and I remember a few precious moments where some parents dropped their kids 10min earlier and we would play together in the schoolyard before class.
I’m 16. Before COVID, my childhood was fantastic. My parents were immigrants and until they got their degrees later (and still after) I was allowed to be a kid. Now, even schoolwork is online. My brain is so fried from so many different addictions I can’t collect my thoughts well enough to write this comment exactly how I’d like to. If I grow up and start a family, my children will not touch a single device until they are 16. Thank you so much for this.
"The wall called out to them." That is a fascinating statement. Joseph Campbell's first occurrence in the journey of the hero is the call to adventure. Coincidence? I think not. :)
Ok, now when anyone tries to tell me there is no social contagion regarding anorexia, or eating disorders in general, about trans-identity amongst teenagers and self-harming behaviour I'll show them this video and if they still don't believe it, I won't be bothered with them.
My 2yr old nephew spent a long car trip to visir family watching paw patrol on his moms phone. He could say paw patrol, but he couldnt say "aunt" or "auntie" in any way. Even "gramma" was a garbled version of the word that was barely understood. But he was loud, proud and clear when he said "PAW TROL" as soon as he got into his car seat. We used to have to sit and listen to the boring radio stations. We had to learn how to deal with long car rides. No longer
In his way, Jonathan Haidt is, to me, the intellectual vanguard who warns us about what is among us and what is coming and what damage has been visited on the population. His explanations explain a great deal about the behaviour characteristics that are so evident in todays world. I predate the current cohort of individuals by many years. I experienced none of what is taking place and, in hindsight, I would never have invested my time in the pursuits outlined by Dr. Haidt. The big question to me is, how do we get out of this generational hole that is eating a hole in our democracy and intelligence such that we have the ill informed voting when they have no idea of what is true and logical?
Richard Louv’s Last Child in the Woods was published in 2006! This isn’t a 2020’s discovery. Kids (and people of all ages) need plentiful unstructured play time, particularly outside in nature. No special equipment needed.
I agree. I was very lucky to spend a lot of my childhood outside in nature. I am so grateful for that. It is beyond sad that today's children don't get that.
I'm absolutely inthralled with this talk, but then I zoom out and hate that I'm watching it on my phone. I'm desperate but equally struggling to break this absurd, vicious cycle.
It’s OK that you’re getting your information on your phone. He’s talking about children. There’s a difference between you and them. Unless you’re a child. You didn’t identify yourself.
I was born with mobility impairment - I can walk, but with a severe limp. So my parents were very protective of me throughout my childhood. Even so, they still allowed me to spend time outside playing soccer with the other kids on the street until my feet were literally bleeding lol. I would go to the neighbor's basically anytime I wanted (he's my best friend still, we're in our 30s), and when visiting my granda in the small country town where she lived me and my cousins would literally roam the streets by ourselves all day long, occasionally stopping at the lan house . In my teens me and my friends would secretly climb up to the rooftop of a museum near my school every friday afternoon to watch the sunset. I've never told my parents about it as I know they'd freak out. Even with all that I'm a very very anxious person, so I can't imagine how bad it's going to be for these kids.
In the last decade we saw the rise of the playground in dustrial complex - cities erecting costly "safe" playground systems in every park. These have gone largely unused and you may even see private yards with playsets even though there is a city park nearby.
Taking a break from social media is a must. Think of all the time in people's lives that is wasted scrolling and liking and just staring at videos, memes, strangers talking, etc. I like the mindfulness workbook called 30 Days Without Social Media by Harper Daniels, it goes good with Jonathan's book I believe.
I realized a few years ago that I’d been spending too much time on my digital devices when I was reading an actual, physical book and I tried swiping on the page to go to the next page. While I love the convenience and greater affordability of digital books, nothing beats the sensation of holding a physical book in your hands.
Born 1990, I think I was about 10 when my dad first said, "Nah, I'm not walking with you to Girl Scouts. It's up the road and around the corner go by yourself." I had been a sick child and only recently got well, so I was pretty terrified and sincerely thought I wouldn't remember the way there by myself. But I had been raised to be obedient so I went, in fear and trembling, and made it there and back safely. And that was the last time I was scared to walk around town by myself! (I was still afraid of every new experience until I was 17 and flew to Japan by myself, only my second time in an airplane ever. After that, nothing was scary.) Some kids are naturally anxious and need a parent to firmly tell them that they are going to be fine and they need to do this. I'm glad my parents did that for me
There is 0 reason for someone under 15 to have a smart phone. Parents need to set these boundaries, as they will be more effective, rather than rely on schools and legislators to try and do the work for them.
There’s something to be said for using social and political tools to help you parent. If there’s consensus among parents in a class or school to delay giving a phone, it’s many factors easier to hold the boundary than if you’re going it alone, swimming against the tide, repeatedly saying no to your child, and potentially socially isolating them. School policies and state policies help set the standards, too. Why insist parents take on the fight alone and not have all the tools to help out? I’ve also heard from parents who haven’t gotten their kids phones, but the kids have access to their friends’ phones. It can’t just be individual family units taking this on. There has to be a community standard.
My mother wasn't happy that my village school allowed children to play on what was probably an unsafe slide and other equipment. So when they refused to stop children crossing the deserted country road to the playground each lunchtime, she banned my younger brother from going there, so he was forced to stay alone in the school yard. At the time i knew this was completely wrong and that she should have asked him to stay with his friends regardless of the tiny amount of potential danger involved. She still insists to this day she was correct in her decision.
As a house that doesn't use 'smart phones' (long seeing the danger) there is a lot of inconvenience. If you don't know how to use a smart phone at 14, you'll be a target bc you'll have no thick skin built up. Smartphones are a trap, but the cage is closed and locked. Raising the age of everything just makes childhood extend further into the thirties.
Well said, I cannot stress enough how addictive video games are. I believe a major factor is how early I started playing them in home and school. My brain is wired to use them for many of my coping emotional needs.
Thank you John for fighting this important battle. The tech companies (like the tobacco companies of olden days) are responsible for this huge health crises but of course it will take decades for them to be held accountable.
I'm 30 and I always wanted to climb a tree. My parents would always yell at me when I would start to climb a tree. I'm thinking about starting rock climbing as a hobby.
What do we do, as employers, with the group of kids who already grew up with all of the anxiety since 2012 and are now messed up members of the work force? I understand how to fix childhood going forward 9f we follow your advice, but there is an entire generation of literally DAMAGED people who are bringing their anxieties to the business world and are causing harms to non-anxious people.
I have seen these effects in my college classroom, from around 2013-2014 to the present. But what I have seen more often is an alarming increase in the numbers of high schoolers taking my chemistry course for college credit, as well as a majority (typically 80%) of traditional students, that seem to think they know more about the subject (or any subject) than I and my colleagues. I hold three science degrees from three respected (offline) universities, yet daily these American students attempt to convince me that they know more about my expertise than I do. 18-21 years on the planet vs 47-60 years on the planet. And they show no humility while they do so. It is a daily hassle, unlike the trials and tribulations in the classroom before 2013. They are somewhat frightening, and that sentiment increases every semester. It is becoming almost impossible to have faith in their outcomes as well as in the society I will grow old among/within. I see seventy year-old parents having to take care of their 40-50 year-old offspring, ten years from now.
Schools should allow flip phones only. That way parents can still feel in contact, but all smartphone and smart watches distractions are unavailable at school.
14:05 The Cycle of Incompetence reminds me of the Pygmalion Effect. Also, Rock-Paper-Scissors as a means of conflict resolution doesn't even make sense. What if someone is completely right and the other person is completely wrong?
"When adults stop trusting each other with their kids, disaster" This was something I saw after living in Spain. If you go to anplaypark or plaza where kids are playing, the kids are playing together, the adults are all sitting somewhere over there, talking, having a coffee etc, and they are all collectively keeping an eye and trusting each other to do the same. And if you're in a queue and the kid with his mum in front of you smiles or makes a face at you and you respond in kind, the parent smiles at you too, rather than thinking you're some perv/kidnapper.
Great lecturer. Something I have been saying for a long time, but now it is also showen in statistics. I would have also like to see the family situation measured, that is divorce rates over the time, superimposed to the phone/internet graphic, and also how adults have been affected of this technology, and how this have then affected their adult relations and then their relations to their kids. I think besides the phone and no risk parents, also some kind of laziness is there from the parents, especially alone parents that just easily stuck an ipad in front of the child so it would be quit or sit still.
For all the greatness of new technology we always have to ask “what is the downside?”. While we may be able to talk to people on the other side of the world, there is an epidemic of loneliness that is at the root of all of this. Humans are social physical creatures and when the “energies” are not genuinely garnered, there will be loneliness. My book “Smartphones Don’t Give Hugs “ in a primer way discusses how to deal with this reality.
I am curious about one point. Along with the phone issue, since you spoke of liberal secularists having more of a problem as well, is there any evidence the the more aggressive forms of feminist doctrines feed additional dissatisfaction, adding to the phone/social media issues? Realizing it’s a touchy subject.
@guypotvin6943 I think you misunderstood me. I completely support that. I'm referring to his remarks toward the very end in the discussion time, which I found especially interesting and speak to your question.
Also it would be great to hear his response to the idea that, as this technology appears likely to be the all-important toolbox of the future, the huge amount of time and energy kids dedicate to it is somehow appropriate and likely to serve them well.
My daughter's mother maintained that the reason people become addicted (to anything) is to fill a "hole in their lives." That hole used to be filled by spirituality.
As he's contrasting this idea of a play-based childhood with this idea of a phone-based childhood, it would be great if he could say a bit more about why he's effectively dismissive of all the play that can be engaged in through phones - a bit more about why he concludes that kind of play is just inherently less valuable than embodied play.
He named different reasons throughout the video. Here’s a few I recall: With phones: Kids are more anxious. It rewires the brain. Kids are sexually preyed upon, especially girls. Kids are lonelier. He hasn’t even mentioned how unhealthy kids are as a result of phone use: obesity for one thing.
I’m not disagreeing but there is one major new variable that’s out there… and that’s the access to porn and the new weirdos popping up. How do we teach our children to sense sick disgusting people and how to sense genuine trust? Because I was out and about at 5 years old. The difference is I came from a violent home so knew how to detect weirdos in a messed up way. How do you teach children to sense this normally?
We have seen an 11 year who broke his hip. He’s a big tech kid and doesn’t engage in impact play. Bones need impact to grow stronger, that’s why old ladies get osteoporosis, because the bones need impact to stay strong. A loss of impact play makes kids physically weaker. Think about the head injuries in sports and how they are more severe in recent times?? Their skulls are actually thinner and weaker.
wrong. if you get injury at young age, it will stay with you for life. i use to do calisthenics at young age and ended up with permanent injuries. i get arm weaknesses from time to time because of the injury. the real problem is that humans are exploiting wildlife and forcing animals and plants to suffer in domestication where all organisms lack natural selection. i sympathize more for animals and plants than i do humans because humans are responsible for their problems. humans continue having kids despite all the exploitation and suffering thats been inflicted. plus humans have alot more freedom than animals and plants.
It is shocking that very few people are addressing this problem. NO, the mental health of our population does not come after your ROI, what's the point of making money in a collapsing system. No, the mental health of our children is not to be sold to the highest bidder! We HAVE to as a society step up and solve this epidemic of a degrading civilization that is cannabilizing itself out of existence in a reckless pursuit of profit. I personally am trying to do my part, I worked on developing an app that serves as the "Digital portal back into real life". This motivates people to get out of their comfort zone and find someone new to meet face-to-face within 5 minutes and try to socialize and work on their social skills. It's very hard to go against the norm and to fight a bad trend. But we will keep working hard on the project and hope to make a difference.
Excellent talk. Unfortunately these problems will not be solved (on purpose). We are headed for Idiocracy and there is no turning back. It's simply harder to be smart than it is to be stupid.
Here’s a great example of the absurdity of this… 13:18 playing tag with a “one finger touch” rule will inevitably result in more injury. You think kids play tag standing still? No, they run around. If you try to tag your friend with one finger while running… you don’t think you’re going to break your finger eventually?
I suppose I didn't have a lot of risk in my childhood in the 1970's. Much of my fond memories are tending the vegetable garden with my mother, and us watching The Young and the Restless together after we got done working. I had SOME play with my brother, but he was 9 years older than me, so I did watch a lot of TV, too. But it usually wasn't anything disturbing or violent, reruns of I dream of Jeannie or Gilligan's Island. I lived in the country, so almost never had any "play dates". I became a little more social in high school, especially when I got a car. Me and my friends would go to the mall, eat nachos and go to the record store and the pet store. I never got a thrill from risk. I hate adrenaline rushes. My mother "overprotective" according to most people at the time, but that was mainly because when she was growing up, the family at the farm next door got their son a dirt bike for his 15th birthday, and he rode it up and down the road, around the pasture, etc... and then wrecked it one day... and he didn't survive.
i was born in 1999 and so i was 13 in 2013 and we started hanging out with girls from other schools etc. This one area in our area, about 10 mins away, were girls who were friends and all experienced cutting, some very openly and on their wrists, and some would hide it by cutting their thighs and hips. I found it very cool to read coddling of the american mind and he mentioned how this happened to girls in 2013ish and i did live that experience.. i think women are developing and becoming promiscuous thinking that's the right thing to do not knowing the consequences down the line..
So why arent we limiting access to these devices for children up to the age of 18? They could easily use the old style phones fo keeping in touch with parents. I dont get it.
I think a lot of parents are listening and making a distinction between Smart Phones (bad) and all the other media "boxes". Television, computers, tablets, or letting their kids use the parents' phones, but not allowing them to have their own. I know, it's a pretty clear self-deception, but I also know it's happening. I also take exception with what I see as unbridled and unsupervised freedom that he advocates. I'm sure he doesn't see it this way, but it seems like that child is unprotected. With far fewer children having siblings, they are guaranteed to be on their own.
The argument that self-reporting is just going up is bunk even if we ignore behaviour. That argument implies pre-2010 was a different culture, as if it's the 1950s. No, the culture of self-reporting didn't suddenly change a mere decade & a half ago
Great Talk Also the missing kids on Milk Cartons!!! Everyday in the privacy of our kitchens parents were reminded of missing kids+how dangerous the world is?? What a huge WRONG DISTORTED G MESSAGE!
You can't engineer social change. You can certainly cause it, but the final results will always be different from intentions. Society is a complex non-linear emergent phenomenon, our linear minds can't simply use our linear logic to achieve desired effects from a specific policy decision. The bigger the scope of the policy, and the higher the aim, the less it will coincide with initial intentions. Phone bans won't achieve the goals of restoring the past. Restoration has been tried many times throughout history, it never works.
By the way theres another element about being outside. I dont let my kids outside for a VERY specific reason. The suburban paradigm has made roads so insanely dangerous that the number one thing that is likely to kill my kids is a flippin SUV. With speeding at an all time high, road widths broader than ever, and walkability at an all time low...omg no way am I letting my kids out in that environment. NO. Tablets are banned in our house. They do not have phones. They know how to use them. They do have gaming PCs I built for them but they have strict rules. No free to play games, no predatory heavily monetized games, no online games unless they're cooperative with family only. So almost all the games they play are single player games built around a narrative or objective, or some kind of tactics or strategy game. We also play a lot of games tabletop-wise. Board games, card games, RPGs, wargames, etc.
In the late 90's I used to babysit on weekdays for a friend's son while the parents were working. She was one of these nervous mothers who wouldn't let this little boy even play at the playground across the street because he might get hurt. This was so different than the way I was raised when I would leave the house to play and wander and stay gone all day. I started taking him to the playground while she was at work because he would watch out the window at the other kids playing across the street and would cry because he wanted to go there, which would cause him to be angry and difficult for the whole day. After I started taking him there he would be calm and happy when we got back home and this change was amazing to me. This convinced me that children need to be outside playing with other children, and not inside the house with their nervous parents.
Well, as if that wasn't obvious to any sane Person
@Io-Io-Io maybe try and add something to the conversation.
Far out.
Nice story and you just leave some condescending comment. Do better.
@@naughtynat82 women tend to talk endlessly to describe something very obvious. 😎👋🙂
@@Io-Io-Io wouldn't their name be queen then rather that king? If it was a girl?
Maybe it’d be worth spending a little time trying to pinpoint when (and why) parents became so nervous.
Even as an adult, I’ve noticed changes in my own life since getting a smart phone. Less exercise, less reading, increased difficulty focusing, more wasted time, and I swear my brain has gotten lazier. The smarter my phone gets the dumber I get. Currently trying to detach and regain some of what I’ve lost w/o losing the benefits of the technology.
Sounds like you're trying to make it easy and flawless for yourself. Ask yourself if you can really disconnect meaningfully without losing some benefits. Something has to go.
Not just phones by a long shot. Plain old computers are a major distraction, with much bigger screens.
@@1lapmagic Yes i Can. I’ve gotten rid of notifications and deleted all but necessary apps. Big improvement so far. Loving it.
I have definitely noticed how addictive this technology can be and I'm a boomer so I grew up in a wonderful time to be a child where we roamed everywhere and explored everywhere. I feel so lucky to have had that. But now I find I am drawn to the internet. I am not using my phone as much. I tend to keep it on mute and at home it doesn't stay with me. I use the camera and the Notes quite a lot and of course I check my email but I don't do much else on it. I try to search for interesting things on the net - like this talk but of course I waste a lot of time looking at useless stuff. Mind you I also wasted hours an hours watching stupid TV programs for years and years. The thing with the internet is that one has to employ critical thinking and question everything one reads and sees. As a tool it can be useful but not when it starts taking up more and more of our time keeping us from interpersonal experiences.
@@sandraelder1101 Notifications are a BIG one. Try just eliminating ALL notifications except for text and calls and like medical alerts if you have that need. Also eliminate any and all auto texts... anything from bots. I actually keep a separate number just for computer systems. As a result I get not spam calls no automated texts no notifications from any app. Only when someone who actually knows me texts or calls do I get notified on my phone. My other phone just works like an answering service and I check it every few days.
The difference is IMMENSE.
When my dad was a kid, my grandmother sent him out to go fishing and he brought back enough for two dinners. Can you imagine the pride he had?
while watching his friends make videos and get the gurlz?
@@bryck7853 No. Back then, he got the girls.
And the sad thing is that if a child was found fishing on their own these days, the parents would be accused of neglect because of what ‘could’ happen. It’s a tragedy for children.
@@ragdollyally Yes, true.
This guy has such a good philosophy and balanced solution for interacting with the modern age of technology. We need more like him.
As a kid in the seventies we'd roam all over town. Got in trouble occasionally and got ourselves out of trouble. We did things that were not OK and got to suffer the consequences of those actions by strangers kicking our asses.
Those are my best childhood memories.
As 3rd grade teacher I have used the Let Grow curriculum this year and have been BLOWN AWAY by it. It is a highlight for the kids ever month, and the sharing of the stories of the things that have done independently is so empowering.
As an adult without children, I have always been fascinated by the instinct I have to keep an eye on unattended children while in public. It is almost as if adults are programmed to take a small amount of responsibility for the safety of everyone else's children while in public. I have only rarely needed to intervene to help a child but it's comforting to know that humans have a built-in social safety network to keep children safe in the community.
One of the best and most important talks I’ve ever witnessed
At 8 years old my son went out the door in the pouring rain with 60 bucks to get an umbrella to attend his great grandmother’s funeral. Yeah 60 bucks is a lot, but I didn’t know how much an umbrella costs and I was ironing a shirt, because I’m a single dad. He needed the independence and I needed him to be independent. He came home, with an umbrella and was so proud. Everyday after that he went to the store on his own. The neighbours all got to know him. He got to know them and there’s so many boomers out there.
Later I was told by the employees at the store he bought the umbrella. They said this wet 8 year old boy walked in, grabbed and umbrella, slammed down 60 bucks and walked out. They had to call him back to give him back 45 bucks.
My daughter is now 20, and beginning the healing journey of so much pain caused by the phone. She almost didn’t make it, but that’s another story… I saw so many of these things happening in my tiny world, and nobody really being able to articulate or acknowledge just how deep the damage was going and how out of control it all got so quickly. Reading your book, especially the closing comments, brought me to tears. As much as I have enjoyed the new chapter in our life, this was unhealed trauma for me. These tears were related to how helpless I felt as a father and how thankful I am for your work. Thank you so much Jonathan and team!
Thank you for sharing. If you could go back to say, 12yo, is there anything other than delaying access to social media that you would have done differently? I have an almost 6yo and this stuff scares me silly (mainly at how uninformed I am!!)
P😊
Pp😊😊00😊l
@sarahjohnstone9041
Parents shouldn't be let off the hook so easily... parents have a larger part in this than he may elude. Case in point, no kid can afford, buy nor would have a cell phone without the parents.
Yes!!! Exactly this. Patents need to grow a pair and just say no. I’ve explained why to my daughter and she does get it. The sad thing is when the kids who don’t have phones get ignored by the other ones who are just zombies. The whole thing is so wrong.
I was born in 2004. My parents never bought me a phone or computer... but that didn't stop me from working for neighbors and family members to earn enough cash to buy one when I was around 14yo. You can literally get a smart phone for 30$ from dollar general. No Cellular contract necessary. Just use Wi-Fi and your good to go. No monthly payments either.
To be fair to my parents though... they did completely disconnect the home Wi-Fi service so most of my growing up I never had internet access except for using my parents phone hotspot when permitted. For me, access to technology has been one the greatest blessings as I am now fluent in 7 programming languages and have learned to LOVE mathematics.
I bought and paid for most of my own clothes, snacks, albums, stereo, car, and more as a kid. I could have easily afforded a smart phone if they were available when I was a kid.
Yup! My kids phones stay locked during the school day and I do breaks on their internet and phone times and they both go hang with friends, run the neighborhood, play games with me, and engage in activities and/or sports. The same cannot be said for my 25 year old who I had zero knowledge of how quickly it was all changing or how me being overprotective wasn’t helping him. He was a good lesson though and he’s doing ok now that we know this.
My fondest memory in elementary school was skateboarding around with a handball going to find different giant walls to play with friends until the sun set. My fondest middle school memory was learning how to do pull-ups and playing basketball with friends. My fondest high school memory was walking 3 miles every morning with my sister and then walking back home. It took about an hour one-way, but I remember we would talk about everything together. The most fun were the times we got in trouble!
20':
Five Foundational Harms (ch. 5)
1. Opportunity Cost: 7-9 hours a day
2. Social deprivation (Time with friends down 65% since 2010）
3. Sleep deprivation (up sharply since 2013)
4. Attention fragmentation
5. Behavioral Addiction (2-10%, possible permanent change)
Phenomenal talk from Haidt as usual. His research, articles, and books are incredibly important in this digital day and age.
I was born in 86. I have fond memory of playing with friends during my elementary and high school years: building stuff with Legos, riding on our bikes, hanging out at the park, improvising street hockey, gym badminton, playing D&D, renting movies, listening to music, later on trying out beer and weed - and during all that, quite importantly, talking about anything and everything, laughing, and messing around. Sure, I had game consoles, which I loved to play with, but those were 1) one thing among many others, and 2) just another opportunity for in-person social, as there was no online play back then (all couch co-op).
I can't imagine what it must be like to grow up on smartphones as a kid and teen.
Just school life alone with social media added into the mix must be absolute hell. Offline free-range childhood makes so much sense.
Plus, I would argue that learning how to solve conflicts and listen to other points of views is *crucial* to happen sooner rather than later.
I was born earlier than you and I didn't get to do any of that because my parents fell for "stranger danger" TV.
I grew up in what he describes as "the decline of play-based childhood" (having a very restrictive mother) and I was always so envious of others who were able to just run around, go out, explore, and do whatever they want. However, now I realize that I was at least lucky I didn't grow up during the phone-based childhood. When I was growing up the internet was still very new, and still mostly a repository of knowledge. It became my way to explore, and probably is one of the reasons I'm so good at programming/engineering and able to teach myself almost anything. Now kids learn nothing and just have propaganda shoved down their mouth on TikTok.
Ditto.
What a great speech, what a great compassionate speaker. Thanks so much for helping us understand what's going on...
My son is an out door and very sporty/physical boy so I work with that. He has never had a computer and got his phone at 14 just a year ago. He does gravitate toward extreme sports too. He definitely has adhd of some type, family members would say to me when he was young “he needs medication that kid” but I just worked around his needs to be active. I don’t worry about him he’s a wonderful young boy with a zest for life and people. I have no doubts he will go and learn at the right time. And learning will be chosen not forced.
He must learn discipline too. This will help him throughout his life
@@Io-Io-IoMind your own business.
as someone who thinks they have ADHD... you defintelly need push them around a bit to get them going. Not overbearing but also not passive either.
Brilliant research and presentation. Food for thought and action. As a refugee from Ukraine, over the last two years the life priorities have shifted a lot from healthy childhood to survival. My family and many others have become single mom because the men are either in the military or are otherwise not let out of the country. There are millions of people whose kids will be let free range on social media with unlimited phone time because parents (or rather mom) just doesn't have time for quality time, and opportunities for normal play are limited due to relocation and language barriers. There are millions of people affected by this ordeal, and this presentation is very awakening.
Slava Ukraini 🇺🇦
my heart goes out to you and all your country. These are very frightening times. Putin must be stopped. All conflicts must stop. I know this won't happen but I hope things will turn around. Now I am worried about the American election. What can we, the ordinary people do? We can talk to one another and stay strong. We can help each other. We must persevere.
Glad someone is bringing attention to this.
This was wonderful! Thank you! I have a 12 year old boy and the pressure he feels to always be on an electronic device to “interact” with friends is frustrating and heartbreaking. It is so difficult to continually fight against screen time when he has many friends whose parents do not monitor or limit it. I hate feeling like an ogre but I love him too much not to try my best every day. My best isn’t perfect but it is effort in the right direction.
Keep up the good fight! I have twin boys almost 17 and I still won’t allow them to have social media or phones in bedrooms at night…computers are always in the family room, and until last year I would check their online history. It’s been exhausting but totally worth it.
@@denysefunk3143Congratulations! It sounds like all your hard work has paid off! Thank you for the encouragement!
@@natashabraga4407 It has but I’ve lost other parenting battles along the way. Hahaha. Can’t win em all.
This is so critical to wake up from this nightmare of safetyism - agree 100% - this needs to be abolished and kids allowed to grow.
Big thanks to Jonathan Haidt! Born in 1996 and this has me feeling seen like NEVER before. Appreciate the insights that connect with my journey. The anxiety isn't just a thing for young American girls; it hits home here in Asia too. Surprisingly, social media, smartphones and online games, despite being around for over a decade, aren't getting talked about much. Definitely a must-watch
I suggest the book he co authored coddling of the american mind, he's been working on this stuff for several years! You'll really like it.
Oh... South Asians are risk-averse. In general, they spent their childhood studying or at least, in classrooms, they seldom spent time outside and wouldn't know how to survive in the wild.
That's why they would most likely follow rules, especially safety rules.
Prof Jonathan Haidt you are a true international hero!
Thank you for your hard work and perseverance and love for the Truth
Grazie di cuore
Please consider a translation in French, Spanish and Italian
Born in the tail end of millenials.
My memories of unsupervised childhood play are always dangerous games which stop when one of the boys hurts himself enough to cry. We awkwardly wait while he calmed down and moved on to the next game. ie falling down a tree, or hitting a rock while sliding down river rapids.
I also walked to school and I remember a few precious moments where some parents dropped their kids 10min earlier and we would play together in the schoolyard before class.
I freakin love this man. He’s 100000% right
"Millenials went thru puberty on flip-phones, and that's why they're okay" - Jonathan Haidt. Brilliant! 😄
I’m 16. Before COVID, my childhood was fantastic. My parents were immigrants and until they got their degrees later (and still after) I was allowed to be a kid. Now, even schoolwork is online. My brain is so fried from so many different addictions I can’t collect my thoughts well enough to write this comment exactly how I’d like to. If I grow up and start a family, my children will not touch a single device until they are 16. Thank you so much for this.
Fantastic! Thank you for the upload with the great Dr. Haidt.
"The wall called out to them." That is a fascinating statement. Joseph Campbell's first occurrence in the journey of the hero is the call to adventure. Coincidence? I think not. :)
Obviously
Nice. ❤
Profound insights... a bit shocked there wasn't more positive clapping and support from the audience.
I thought the same thing.
The room is filled with perpetrators. Must feel awkward.
I would not clap. You cannot promote free play and then ban smartphones like a dictator
@@funkdrunk You don’t need a smartphone to communicate. You can still use a flip phone or “dumb” phone
@@rhamma87I condemn the ban and dictatorial approach to parenting
Ok, now when anyone tries to tell me there is no social contagion regarding anorexia, or eating disorders in general, about trans-identity amongst teenagers and self-harming behaviour I'll show them this video and if they still don't believe it, I won't be bothered with them.
Do you remember like a mysterious laughing illness that was taking groups of young girls by storm? Media completely forgot it.
Yes to everything said here and especially yes to embodied childhood and adulthood!!!
My 2yr old nephew spent a long car trip to visir family watching paw patrol on his moms phone.
He could say paw patrol, but he couldnt say "aunt" or "auntie" in any way. Even "gramma" was a garbled version of the word that was barely understood. But he was loud, proud and clear when he said "PAW TROL" as soon as he got into his car seat.
We used to have to sit and listen to the boring radio stations. We had to learn how to deal with long car rides. No longer
katherine Burbaslegh at the London Micheala school does not allow phones in class and encourages parents to do flip phones
In his way, Jonathan Haidt is, to me, the intellectual vanguard who warns us about what is among us and what is coming and what damage has been visited on the population. His explanations explain a great deal about the behaviour characteristics that are so evident in todays world. I predate the current cohort of individuals by many years. I experienced none of what is taking place and, in hindsight, I would never have invested my time in the pursuits outlined by Dr. Haidt. The big question to me is, how do we get out of this generational hole that is eating a hole in our democracy and intelligence such that we have the ill informed voting when they have no idea of what is true and logical?
Richard Louv’s Last Child in the Woods was published in 2006! This isn’t a 2020’s discovery. Kids (and people of all ages) need plentiful unstructured play time, particularly outside in nature. No special equipment needed.
I agree. I was very lucky to spend a lot of my childhood outside in nature. I am so grateful for that. It is beyond sad that today's children don't get that.
I'm absolutely inthralled with this talk, but then I zoom out and hate that I'm watching it on my phone. I'm desperate but equally struggling to break this absurd, vicious cycle.
It’s OK that you’re getting your information on your phone. He’s talking about children. There’s a difference between you and them. Unless you’re a child. You didn’t identify yourself.
Simple solution - sell your phone. Seriously, just sell your phone and close down all your social media.
The freedom is wonderful.
I was born with mobility impairment - I can walk, but with a severe limp. So my parents were very protective of me throughout my childhood. Even so, they still allowed me to spend time outside playing soccer with the other kids on the street until my feet were literally bleeding lol. I would go to the neighbor's basically anytime I wanted (he's my best friend still, we're in our 30s), and when visiting my granda in the small country town where she lived me and my cousins would literally roam the streets by ourselves all day long, occasionally stopping at the lan house . In my teens me and my friends would secretly climb up to the rooftop of a museum near my school every friday afternoon to watch the sunset. I've never told my parents about it as I know they'd freak out. Even with all that I'm a very very anxious person, so I can't imagine how bad it's going to be for these kids.
In the last decade we saw the rise of the playground in dustrial complex - cities erecting costly "safe" playground systems in every park. These have gone largely unused and you may even see private yards with playsets even though there is a city park nearby.
Taking a break from social media is a must. Think of all the time in people's lives that is wasted scrolling and liking and just staring at videos, memes, strangers talking, etc. I like the mindfulness workbook called 30 Days Without Social Media by Harper Daniels, it goes good with Jonathan's book I believe.
I realized a few years ago that I’d been spending too much time on my digital devices when I was reading an actual, physical book and I tried swiping on the page to go to the next page. While I love the convenience and greater affordability of digital books, nothing beats the sensation of holding a physical book in your hands.
False anecdote. Your age group wouldn't make this neuromechanical mistake.
@@1lapmagic Explain the age group thing, please. He looks younger than me and I’ve done the same thing.
Born 1990, I think I was about 10 when my dad first said, "Nah, I'm not walking with you to Girl Scouts. It's up the road and around the corner go by yourself." I had been a sick child and only recently got well, so I was pretty terrified and sincerely thought I wouldn't remember the way there by myself. But I had been raised to be obedient so I went, in fear and trembling, and made it there and back safely. And that was the last time I was scared to walk around town by myself! (I was still afraid of every new experience until I was 17 and flew to Japan by myself, only my second time in an airplane ever. After that, nothing was scary.) Some kids are naturally anxious and need a parent to firmly tell them that they are going to be fine and they need to do this. I'm glad my parents did that for me
Thank god for dads.
I think most learning comes from mistakes/bad experiences. It's how we respond and grow from these challenges that define us, not the screw-up.
There is 0 reason for someone under 15 to have a smart phone. Parents need to set these boundaries, as they will be more effective, rather than rely on schools and legislators to try and do the work for them.
I was born in 1990, and didn't get my first Nokia phone till 2006, and my first smart phone when I was 25 in 2015.
There’s something to be said for using social and political tools to help you parent. If there’s consensus among parents in a class or school to delay giving a phone, it’s many factors easier to hold the boundary than if you’re going it alone, swimming against the tide, repeatedly saying no to your child, and potentially socially isolating them. School policies and state policies help set the standards, too. Why insist parents take on the fight alone and not have all the tools to help out? I’ve also heard from parents who haven’t gotten their kids phones, but the kids have access to their friends’ phones. It can’t just be individual family units taking this on. There has to be a community standard.
My mother wasn't happy that my village school allowed children to play on what was probably an unsafe slide and other equipment. So when they refused to stop children crossing the deserted country road to the playground each lunchtime, she banned my younger brother from going there, so he was forced to stay alone in the school yard. At the time i knew this was completely wrong and that she should have asked him to stay with his friends regardless of the tiny amount of potential danger involved. She still insists to this day she was correct in her decision.
As a house that doesn't use 'smart phones' (long seeing the danger) there is a lot of inconvenience. If you don't know how to use a smart phone at 14, you'll be a target bc you'll have no thick skin built up. Smartphones are a trap, but the cage is closed and locked. Raising the age of everything just makes childhood extend further into the thirties.
Well said, I cannot stress enough how addictive video games are. I believe a major factor is how early I started playing them in home and school. My brain is wired to use them for many of my coping emotional needs.
Thanks to professor Haidt for helping rationalize utilitarianism
Thank you John for fighting this important battle. The tech companies (like the tobacco companies of olden days) are responsible for this huge health crises but of course it will take decades for them to be held accountable.
How about the parents?
I'm 30 and I always wanted to climb a tree. My parents would always yell at me when I would start to climb a tree. I'm thinking about starting rock climbing as a hobby.
What do we do, as employers, with the group of kids who already grew up with all of the anxiety since 2012 and are now messed up members of the work force? I understand how to fix childhood going forward 9f we follow your advice, but there is an entire generation of literally DAMAGED people who are bringing their anxieties to the business world and are causing harms to non-anxious people.
I have seen these effects in my college classroom, from around 2013-2014 to the present. But what I have seen more often is an alarming increase in the numbers of high schoolers taking my chemistry course for college credit, as well as a majority (typically 80%) of traditional students, that seem to think they know more about the subject (or any subject) than I and my colleagues. I hold three science degrees from three respected (offline) universities, yet daily these American students attempt to convince me that they know more about my expertise than I do. 18-21 years on the planet vs 47-60 years on the planet. And they show no humility while they do so. It is a daily hassle, unlike the trials and tribulations in the classroom before 2013. They are somewhat frightening, and that sentiment increases every semester. It is becoming almost impossible to have faith in their outcomes as well as in the society I will grow old among/within. I see seventy year-old parents having to take care of their 40-50 year-old offspring, ten years from now.
Excellent presentation. Thanks for all the important information he give to us.
So many excellent points here. WOW.
Schools should allow flip phones only. That way parents can still feel in contact, but all smartphone and smart watches distractions are unavailable at school.
14:05 The Cycle of Incompetence reminds me of the Pygmalion Effect. Also, Rock-Paper-Scissors as a means of conflict resolution doesn't even make sense. What if someone is completely right and the other person is completely wrong?
Do organized sports or other team-based competitive activities innoculate kids against these social media-contracted diseases?
"When adults stop trusting each other with their kids, disaster"
This was something I saw after living in Spain. If you go to anplaypark or plaza where kids are playing, the kids are playing together, the adults are all sitting somewhere over there, talking, having a coffee etc, and they are all collectively keeping an eye and trusting each other to do the same.
And if you're in a queue and the kid with his mum in front of you smiles or makes a face at you and you respond in kind, the parent smiles at you too, rather than thinking you're some perv/kidnapper.
Great lecturer. Something I have been saying for a long time, but now it is also showen in statistics.
I would have also like to see the family situation measured, that is divorce rates over the time, superimposed to the phone/internet graphic, and also how adults have been affected of this technology, and how this have then affected their adult relations and then their relations to their kids.
I think besides the phone and no risk parents, also some kind of laziness is there from the parents, especially alone parents that just easily stuck an ipad in front of the child so it would be quit or sit still.
Such an important watch
What of your learning applies to kindergartens or kids aged under 5?
Super powerful!
For all the greatness of new technology we always have to ask “what is the downside?”. While we may be able to talk to people on the other side of the world, there is an epidemic of loneliness that is at the root of all of this. Humans are social physical creatures and when the “energies” are not
genuinely garnered, there will be loneliness. My book “Smartphones Don’t Give Hugs “ in a primer way discusses how to deal with this reality.
"in a primer way discusses" sorry Mr. Burstein I'll be skipping that one
I am curious about one point. Along with the phone issue, since you spoke of liberal secularists having more of a problem as well, is there any evidence the the more aggressive forms of feminist doctrines feed additional dissatisfaction, adding to the phone/social media issues? Realizing it’s a touchy subject.
I noticed he dared to describe the behavior as bizarre. 👍🏼
@@go2therock let children be children
@guypotvin6943 I think you misunderstood me. I completely support that. I'm referring to his remarks toward the very end in the discussion time, which I found especially interesting and speak to your question.
@@go2therock I wasn’t disagreeing, overall the over protection of children I’d also not helping. Adding to the phone mess.
1975...girl....I went out to the farm of our neighbours with my best friend when I was between 4 and 5.
Also it would be great to hear his response to the idea that, as this technology appears likely to be the all-important toolbox of the future, the huge amount of time and energy kids dedicate to it is somehow appropriate and likely to serve them well.
Bless this man.
My daughter's mother maintained that the reason people become addicted (to anything) is to fill a "hole in their lives." That hole used to be filled by spirituality.
The arts and falling in love did, too.
Might have to move to Utah!
Excelente charla
Thank you.
As he's contrasting this idea of a play-based childhood with this idea of a phone-based childhood, it would be great if he could say a bit more about why he's effectively dismissive of all the play that can be engaged in through phones - a bit more about why he concludes that kind of play is just inherently less valuable than embodied play.
He named different reasons throughout the video. Here’s a few I recall:
With phones:
Kids are more anxious.
It rewires the brain.
Kids are sexually preyed upon, especially girls.
Kids are lonelier.
He hasn’t even mentioned how unhealthy kids are as a result of phone use: obesity for one thing.
These proposed laws will never pass as they would reduce corporate profits.
I’m not disagreeing but there is one major new variable that’s out there… and that’s the access to porn and the new weirdos popping up. How do we teach our children to sense sick disgusting people and how to sense genuine trust?
Because I was out and about at 5 years old. The difference is I came from a violent home so knew how to detect weirdos in a messed up way. How do you teach children to sense this normally?
We have seen an 11 year who broke his hip. He’s a big tech kid and doesn’t engage in impact play. Bones need impact to grow stronger, that’s why old ladies get osteoporosis, because the bones need impact to stay strong. A loss of impact play makes kids physically weaker. Think about the head injuries in sports and how they are more severe in recent times?? Their skulls are actually thinner and weaker.
wrong. if you get injury at young age, it will stay with you for life. i use to do calisthenics at young age and ended up with permanent injuries. i get arm weaknesses from time to time because of the injury.
the real problem is that humans are exploiting wildlife and forcing animals and plants to suffer in domestication where all organisms lack natural selection. i sympathize more for animals and plants than i do humans because humans are responsible for their problems. humans continue having kids despite all the exploitation and suffering thats been inflicted. plus humans have alot more freedom than animals and plants.
Yes! My friends 11 year old daughter was walking to a friends house (literally down the block) and the police came to my friend’s house!! WTF ??
It is shocking that very few people are addressing this problem.
NO, the mental health of our population does not come after your ROI, what's the point of making money in a collapsing system.
No, the mental health of our children is not to be sold to the highest bidder!
We HAVE to as a society step up and solve this epidemic of a degrading civilization that is cannabilizing itself out of existence in a reckless pursuit of profit.
I personally am trying to do my part, I worked on developing an app that serves as the "Digital portal back into real life". This motivates people to get out of their comfort zone and find someone new to meet face-to-face within 5 minutes and try to socialize and work on their social skills.
It's very hard to go against the norm and to fight a bad trend. But we will keep working hard on the project and hope to make a difference.
Excellent talk. Unfortunately these problems will not be solved (on purpose). We are headed for Idiocracy and there is no turning back. It's simply harder to be smart than it is to be stupid.
Here’s a great example of the absurdity of this…
13:18 playing tag with a “one finger touch” rule will inevitably result in more injury.
You think kids play tag standing still? No, they run around. If you try to tag your friend with one finger while running… you don’t think you’re going to break your finger eventually?
34:30 this is so important
Good to see Jeb Bush getting out! That's him in the front row with the glasses, btw.
I suppose I didn't have a lot of risk in my childhood in the 1970's. Much of my fond memories are tending the vegetable garden with my mother, and us watching The Young and the Restless together after we got done working. I had SOME play with my brother, but he was 9 years older than me, so I did watch a lot of TV, too. But it usually wasn't anything disturbing or violent, reruns of I dream of Jeannie or Gilligan's Island. I lived in the country, so almost never had any "play dates". I became a little more social in high school, especially when I got a car. Me and my friends would go to the mall, eat nachos and go to the record store and the pet store. I never got a thrill from risk. I hate adrenaline rushes. My mother "overprotective" according to most people at the time, but that was mainly because when she was growing up, the family at the farm next door got their son a dirt bike for his 15th birthday, and he rode it up and down the road, around the pasture, etc... and then wrecked it one day... and he didn't survive.
i was born in 1999 and so i was 13 in 2013 and we started hanging out with girls from other schools etc. This one area in our area, about 10 mins away, were girls who were friends and all experienced cutting, some very openly and on their wrists, and some would hide it by cutting their thighs and hips. I found it very cool to read coddling of the american mind and he mentioned how this happened to girls in 2013ish and i did live that experience.. i think women are developing and becoming promiscuous thinking that's the right thing to do not knowing the consequences down the line..
Brilliant.
So why arent we limiting access to these devices for children up to the age of 18? They could easily use the old style phones fo keeping in touch with parents. I dont get it.
I think a lot of parents are listening and making a distinction between Smart Phones (bad) and all the other media "boxes". Television, computers, tablets, or letting their kids use the parents' phones, but not allowing them to have their own.
I know, it's a pretty clear self-deception, but I also know it's happening.
I also take exception with what I see as unbridled and unsupervised freedom that he advocates. I'm sure he doesn't see it this way, but it seems like that child is unprotected. With far fewer children having siblings, they are guaranteed to be on their own.
If parents work together with like minded parents in their area kids will have playmates.
I saw a meme the other day which sums this up.
"When I was a kid I died in the park and my mum told me to just get up and walk it off"
"Screens are having more influence on children than parents." Marshall McLuhan & Neil Postman
Utah plus which 6 other states have this law?
The argument that self-reporting is just going up is bunk even if we ignore behaviour. That argument implies pre-2010 was a different culture, as if it's the 1950s. No, the culture of self-reporting didn't suddenly change a mere decade & a half ago
Great Talk
Also the missing kids on Milk Cartons!!! Everyday in the privacy of our kitchens parents were reminded of missing kids+how dangerous the world is?? What a huge WRONG DISTORTED G MESSAGE!
You can't engineer social change. You can certainly cause it, but the final results will always be different from intentions. Society is a complex non-linear emergent phenomenon, our linear minds can't simply use our linear logic to achieve desired effects from a specific policy decision. The bigger the scope of the policy, and the higher the aim, the less it will coincide with initial intentions. Phone bans won't achieve the goals of restoring the past. Restoration has been tried many times throughout history, it never works.
This is so sad.
Do you think attorneys got more plentiful in the 90's. And we started suing instead of taking responsibility for life's mishaps?
💯
Social media should never be used by young people especially girls 16 under in the first place
Yep no phones for the under 16.....why????
While we all watch this video on our digital devices…
We aren't children. Perhaps some of us can only contribute similar thoughts to them, though.
I appreciate this, but our private school already does this.
School choice deals with this
Is it the phones, or the social apps on the phones?
By the way theres another element about being outside. I dont let my kids outside for a VERY specific reason. The suburban paradigm has made roads so insanely dangerous that the number one thing that is likely to kill my kids is a flippin SUV. With speeding at an all time high, road widths broader than ever, and walkability at an all time low...omg no way am I letting my kids out in that environment. NO.
Tablets are banned in our house. They do not have phones. They know how to use them. They do have gaming PCs I built for them but they have strict rules. No free to play games, no predatory heavily monetized games, no online games unless they're cooperative with family only. So almost all the games they play are single player games built around a narrative or objective, or some kind of tactics or strategy game.
We also play a lot of games tabletop-wise. Board games, card games, RPGs, wargames, etc.