I know I say this all the time, but I'm glad I found this channel, because I'm literally having epiphanies about limerence on a weekly basis. I have struggled with this all my life (including over women since I used to date both) When it starts to happen, I usually just assume it's another "pointless crush" and I even enjoy the romantic fantasy that I develop in my head, because I usually keep my feelings to myself. I never let the episodes get to the point of becoming a "side chick" or anything that extreme. But it took me awhile to realize that I keep getting them over unavailable people (they're married, they live too far away, or they're single, but a friend who will never feel that way about me, etc). That's the part that took me longer to figure out, since it's embarrassing to realize how many "pointless crushes" I've developed over the years. I have two going right now on two separate unavailable people, and I've let them go on for years. 2020 definitely goofed up my motivation to date, but even after things calmed down, I find myself letting these two current episodes keep going, because the fantasy is fun to think about, and staying in the fantasy keeps me from getting hurt with folks who might actually be single and available. The bummer is, these two folks are online friends who I genuinely care about, but they will always be unavailable, so why am I letting the limerence continue, when I know all of this logicially? That part I can't quite figure out yet. My "father wound" is pretty severe, so I know it's related to that. It also worries me, because if I met someone who was available, am I capable of actually falling for a person, or will it just become another "dysfunctional crush", because I'm still too terrified to allow myself to be that emotionally vulnerable with someone. I'm working on it every week, but its amazing how many years we waste on limerence.
I'm so glad i'm on the other side of that mountain too. So sick of people trying to use me to get back at their spouse/boyfriend. Both people i was with in my mid 20s early 30s were with someone when i met them....never again. Now in my 40s, three more people have tried to trick me into their bed or whatever the hell they wanted lol I don't fall for that crap anymore. I've been working on confidence/low self esteem awhile now and my counselor and i have both noticed a major change for the better.
These video's and the ones you made on limerence really struck something inside me. At the moment I'm trying to detach myself from someone I got addicted too. The limerence made me blind for the fact she showed many of the traits and behaviours that are seen in covert narcissistic personalities thus giving space for my codependent tendencies to let myself do the narcissist tango. Your video's helped me to relief much of the anger I had by realizing my own part in it and that we both are damaged people who cannot be together. Thank you Fairy.
I am amazed that it is so difficult. Just be honest, people. If you have a girlfriend, you are taken. Or a boyfriend, taken. I just don't date because of a lack of money. It costs a fortune to keep up. Understand ladies, I'm not the only one. It might not be you. We can go on a cheap date and have fun. Ask us out.
Hi Anna, In the first story you said maybe "Emmy" would have a relationship one day with her dad. But her father passed away when she was 12, I thought that was a crucial piece to her story. Kind regards, May
The quote "give and take", is really wrong and doesnt make equality. You "give" and then you have to "take" back something to get something? Its wrong. It should be "give and receive".
Just stumbled upon this channel, thank you for your wisdom and insight..wow, I I had no idea why I kept attracting the same kind of men but after listening to this video, it all clicks!
I thank God i know my true divine origin! No abandonment there .. all love and acceptance ❤ I appreciate the insight into the childhood trauma ...but always remind myself of the ultimate Truth of who i am
Yeah ! This is triggering . I keep thinking about him and I just want it to stop it’s like I get reminded of him in my day to day. I need help moving on cuz my emotions I’m so in pain
I think there´s a lot of deflection going on in the comments. This is about pining for unavailable people, Limerance and "crap fitting". People having abandonment issues.. (bad parenting) are repeating bad habits. Thats what this channel is about.
Anna, would you consider doing a video that explains how people with CPTSD (like myself) can try to understand why their abuser targeted them? My dad re married immediately after leaving my mom, and it was years before we saw her again. MY father married right after and i believe she is a covert narc. As soon as they got married, she convinced him to get me seen by psychologist and i was put on several medications, including uppers and downers at the age of 6 or 7... she made me take these pills for years until I left to live with my mom again as a teen and she took me off cold turkey. Years later I haven't been on any medications for my "attitude", just daily meditations and learning to regulate due to have cptsd. (I was diagnosed cptsd at 23 when i entered therapy). My father doesn't believe me about the physical and verbal abuse from my step mother, and I am ostracized from my family because I got tired of being the scape goat for all my families problems, I'm very sad that I father would rather live a comfortable life with his wife then do what's right and hold her accountable. I pray for God to take care of all this, and I wish them and myself healing...
This is my problem. I don’t know how to talk to the type of men I admire and would like to be with, because I can not see how they would find me interesting. Maybe because I don’t believe I am that interesting.
To the first person I would say it’s going to take forever to recover from it, in the meantime go to the hospital and get a full body physical check up, then get on medication, improve your health, go to university, move on.
I know I say this all the time, but I'm glad I found this channel, because I'm literally having epiphanies about limerence on a weekly basis.
I have struggled with this all my life (including over women since I used to date both) When it starts to happen, I usually just assume it's another "pointless crush" and I even enjoy the romantic fantasy that I develop in my head, because I usually keep my feelings to myself. I never let the episodes get to the point of becoming a "side chick" or anything that extreme.
But it took me awhile to realize that I keep getting them over unavailable people (they're married, they live too far away, or they're single, but a friend who will never feel that way about me, etc). That's the part that took me longer to figure out, since it's embarrassing to realize how many "pointless crushes" I've developed over the years. I have two going right now on two separate unavailable people, and I've let them go on for years.
2020 definitely goofed up my motivation to date, but even after things calmed down, I find myself letting these two current episodes keep going, because the fantasy is fun to think about, and staying in the fantasy keeps me from getting hurt with folks who might actually be single and available.
The bummer is, these two folks are online friends who I genuinely care about, but they will always be unavailable, so why am I letting the limerence continue, when I know all of this logicially?
That part I can't quite figure out yet. My "father wound" is pretty severe, so I know it's related to that. It also worries me, because if I met someone who was available, am I capable of actually falling for a person, or will it just become another "dysfunctional crush", because I'm still too terrified to allow myself to be that emotionally vulnerable with someone.
I'm working on it every week, but its amazing how many years we waste on limerence.
I'm so glad i'm on the other side of that mountain too. So sick of people trying to use me to get back at their spouse/boyfriend. Both people i was with in my mid 20s early 30s were with someone when i met them....never again. Now in my 40s, three more people have tried to trick me into their bed or whatever the hell they wanted lol I don't fall for that crap anymore. I've been working on confidence/low self esteem awhile now and my counselor and i have both noticed a major change for the better.
I love the comment "He wears shoes and he's not in jail!"
These video's and the ones you made on limerence really struck something inside me. At the moment I'm trying to detach myself from someone I got addicted too. The limerence made me blind for the fact she showed many of the traits and behaviours that are seen in covert narcissistic personalities thus giving space for my codependent tendencies to let myself do the narcissist tango.
Your video's helped me to relief much of the anger I had by realizing my own part in it and that we both are damaged people who cannot be together.
Thank you Fairy.
We're so glad the channel has been helpful. Thank you for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Deep, painful stuff
Amazing video. You have helped me and so many others so much, so grateful for your work.
You are amazing. She needs an active life. Like your earrings in the first segment. I was where she is once too and it can be healed.
264 views and only 34 Likes. Let’s show our appreciation 🎉
Only uploaded an hour ago
@ said the smartest person in the room 😅 Merry Christmas! 🎄
I am amazed that it is so difficult. Just be honest, people. If you have a girlfriend, you are taken. Or a boyfriend, taken. I just don't date because of a lack of money. It costs a fortune to keep up. Understand ladies, I'm not the only one. It might not be you. We can go on a cheap date and have fun. Ask us out.
Thanks for sharing
Hi Anna,
In the first story you said maybe "Emmy" would have a relationship one day with her dad. But her father passed away when she was 12, I thought that was a crucial piece to her story. Kind regards, May
Good catch. It appears Anna forgot that detail from the beginning of the writer's story.
The quote "give and take", is really wrong and doesnt make equality. You "give" and then you have to "take" back something to get something? Its wrong. It should be "give and receive".
Wow😮 this episode has so much similarities of what I have experienced my whole life plus Chloe experience. Thank you for this video.❤❤
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Great video again . Thanks Merry Christmas Anna ❤️💚
Glad you enjoyed it! Merry Christmas to you too!
Nika@TeamFairy
We are all broken. Every human. So how do we have relationships where our brokenness works with the others?
Anna! This is so great. Thank you for putting these videos and messages together. I feel like you are making the world a better place by it. :)
I’m a 43 year old woman though. I’m not 25 any more. Many men my age are looking for younger 20 something women though
Many women in their 20's are looking for older men
That is the irony, by the time we can get to a healthy point mentally and can have a relationship, we are too old for anyone to care.
Yep, same. It's frustrating and I eventually stopped trying to find a partner.
Divorces will put more dudes into the dating pool. They don't all want to date children...
Wow, really? I'm not in the dating scene so I didn't know... if I ever become single again I'm done with relationships.... it's heavy.
Just stumbled upon this channel, thank you for your wisdom and insight..wow, I I had no idea why I kept attracting the same kind of men but after listening to this video, it all clicks!
I thank God i know my true divine origin!
No abandonment there .. all love and acceptance ❤
I appreciate the insight into the childhood trauma ...but always remind myself of the ultimate Truth of who i am
Thank you
Can another loving father figure heal a child with an absent father? Thank you 😊😊
I'm sure your presence will be very very valuable to that child.
I never either ask or answer biographical questions, as that's not how good conversations start, in my opinion and experience.
Yeah ! This is triggering . I keep thinking about him and I just want it to stop it’s like I get reminded of him in my day to day. I need help moving on cuz my emotions I’m so in pain
Thank you
I think there´s a lot of deflection going on in the comments. This is about pining for unavailable people, Limerance and "crap fitting". People having abandonment issues.. (bad parenting) are repeating bad habits. Thats what this channel is about.
❤ this. Am trying to understand the whole step children dynamic and if you have any videos related to that pls share them when you have time ❤
@crappy childhood fairy fortunately I listen ,to your advice
Anna, would you consider doing a video that explains how people with CPTSD (like myself) can try to understand why their abuser targeted them? My dad re married immediately after leaving my mom, and it was years before we saw her again. MY father married right after and i believe she is a covert narc. As soon as they got married, she convinced him to get me seen by psychologist and i was put on several medications, including uppers and downers at the age of 6 or 7... she made me take these pills for years until I left to live with my mom again as a teen and she took me off cold turkey. Years later I haven't been on any medications for my "attitude", just daily meditations and learning to regulate due to have cptsd. (I was diagnosed cptsd at 23 when i entered therapy). My father doesn't believe me about the physical and verbal abuse from my step mother, and I am ostracized from my family because I got tired of being the scape goat for all my families problems, I'm very sad that I father would rather live a comfortable life with his wife then do what's right and hold her accountable. I pray for God to take care of all this, and I wish them and myself healing...
❤❤ High standards!❤❤❤
This is my problem. I don’t know how to talk to the type of men I admire and would like to be with, because I can not see how they would find me interesting. Maybe because I don’t believe I am that interesting.
To the first person I would say it’s going to take forever to recover from it, in the meantime go to the hospital and get a full body physical check up, then get on medication, improve your health, go to university, move on.