The Placation Pattern - In Your Relationships
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 เม.ย. 2020
- Placation is an integral aspect of human social psychology. It has been used throughout human history to maintain order and balance. But many have turned this social tool into a way of relating, losing themselves in the process. They are now trapped in relationships where placation comes before honesty and authenticity. Teal Swan helps bring awareness to this relationship pattern so you can live a more authentic life.
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Video References
Gaslighting: 6:57
• Gaslighting (What is G...
How to Create a Safe Relationship: 11:58
• How to Create a Safe R...
How to Be Authentic: 12:47
• How To Be Authentic - ...
Integrity (What is Integrity and How to Build Integrity): 12:51
• Integrity (What Is Int...
Self Sacrifice, The Most Self Centered Thing in the World: 12:54
• Self Sacrifice...The M...
Self Concept, The Enemy of Awakening: 17:52
• Self Concept, The Enem...
The Value Realization (A Realization That Can Completely Change Your Self Worth): 19:36
• The Value Realization ...
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Teal Swan is a personal transformation revolutionary. She was born with a range of extrasensory abilities and is a survivor of severe childhood abuse. Today she uses her gifts as well as her own harrowing life experience to inspire millions of people towards authenticity, freedom and joy and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
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The start of the video I was like "no, that is not me this time"
2 minutes in the video "omg that is like.. my whole life"
vanyus ix I do this all the time...questioning myself ...do I fit in it or not? :D
But take it easy... it is only self development. ;)
ahahahah yes
I felt this 🤣
Me every time 😂
Yes!!
I actually love how she chuckles to herself so much.
Me too, she has good humour.
She's laughing with us, not at us 😉
It's because she knows how crazy she is and is laughing at people who are so easily brainwashed and actually listening to her without laughing the entire time because this is pure none-sense. "Make sure you don't gaslight yourself and don't placate anyone." Guess what, you can "placate" somebody without being "at danger" in your relationship because there's plenty of times where my partner has come home from a bad day at work, or was stuck in traffic for an hour. However, when I make her a good dinner, or have a bath ready for when she gets home, I'm not "placating" my partner, I'm trying to be the best part of their day. Don't get me wrong, I'm VERY aware of how easily you can go from doing things out of love, to out of fear, but YOU people watching this need to realize how close and susceptible to occultist behaviors you are. PLEASE, for the love of whatever God you believe in, make your own decisions, it's fine to be separated from "society" for a little while, if anything you might actually be able to make your own conclusions. I'm coming close to the end of my 1 year challenge to not use a cellphone (besides emergencies) and it's helped me a lot with realizing how gullible people are. Please notice that this woman is no better then abusive husbands and boyfriends or an exploitative boss, don't let yourselves become a sheep who comes running to her whistle, live your own life, learn from your own experiences, and be yourself. Please. Stay safe everyone.
Edits: "Don'y placate anyone" changed to Don't, & I fixed the spelling of separated, since I had it spelled "seperated".
@@alexpeace9850 aaah you sound triggered. You literally wrote a dissertation on something none of us care about. Now that's what you should be questioning, not her content
@@alexpeace9850 those examples that you gave are not anywhere near what she's talking about. And the fact that you seem triggered by her because your view of her , you will just discredit everything she says anyway. If you truly were more aware and had more clarity you would see how far away she is from being an occultist. She literally has saved lives and her main goal is to help people heal from their traumas and for people to become more aware. I sincerely believe you are influenced by what others have said and also your triggers from her . And even if you don't agree with some of the things she says , you could still learn a lot from her, if you allow yourself to.
After the pause I reconfirmed I have no real relationships only old contacts
Same 😄
It hurts huh, me too?
Random earth sister, you’re welcome to talk to this stranger if you feel intuitively inclined
Sending love
Same.. not even mad or sad. But I do have one friend with whom I wanna make it clear that I’m not doing things because I’m fearful of the consequences if I don’t do it, or if I’m the one putting her in the position of doing me favors, or also the other way around.
It’s a weird thing, human relationships.
@DAVE ADAM same
Hey at least you're not the only one :)
Teal...it is really hard to live in this word...it is scary ...especially when we are aware more and more of all these patterns and start seeing through it. But you give us hope...hope that there is a solution. I’d go mad without your videos...at some point under that pressure around me I didn’t have anyone but you...huge thx Teal and God bless you!
is such toxic culture we have. This is so spot on for what is happening in the world today.
I’m glad she addressed the reality of at times needing to placate and how to deal with that.
You have the ability to think for yourself..you dont need her to think it for you
HaDiS Bn true. I have noticed most guru types give a good speech, but fail to address how it might look in the real world. I appreciate that Teal does that.
Now most of us are just realizing how many of our relationships are dysfunctional. Thank you Teal.
Saad Douieb no she’s making you doubt your relationships so you buy her programs. Dont listen to this witch.
Zippa Stills Dysfunctional relationships are real. I don’t intended on buying any of her programs.
@@zippastills5668 what are you doing on her video if that's your opinion of her? just curious
p u r r i n c e s s Warning you.
Zippa Stills how very self-sacrificing of you 😋
i love the way you presented this concept
This couldn't have come at a better time - thanks for this!
I'm very ADD and took your advice very literally. Paused the video and deleted 70 contacts. Something I've ignored for years! thank you Teal.
When you started talking about it, I was like 'But placation is so damn inter-woven into our world! You can't just stop placating people, that's absurd!' Then you clarified that making the conscious choice is important and I was like 'Alright...'
She keeps coming after me, this time I'm thankful lol.
My ex is convinced and truely deeply believes we all should not count on others, not depend on others and not expect anything from others. If he is convinced of that, and many more most likely believe so too, than I am doomed. POUFF there I am even more alone.
not dependin on others is a great thing cuz now you have less chances or need to manipulate or to lie. Your relationship cud be more authentic that way more real more from emotion than from mind. The less thinking you have to do in a relationship the better it is.
If you are so needly for having a relationship than there is a selfworth problem is going on. deal with that first before going into any relationship. By dealing with selfworth you will endup making principles of life that will help you to chose a better partner who is likely a match to those principles. & that relationship will mostlikely be a successful one cuz now you both have a strong base not needyness or childhood baggage.
Went from 100 to 20 contacts ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ this was a very much needed video for me ☀️
FYI, you dont get the drift, you catch the drift. You get the gist, love ur vids
I deleted 95% of my contacts including my parents.
The mere thought of discussing it directly scares me damn.
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -Jiddu Krishnamurti
As always, Teal, the way you channel these deeply meaningful topics is inspiring. Much love!
So that is where a lot of the tension was coming from. My body aches.
A true Teal masterpiece!
Hahaha I literally have no contacts! I love my life! You are awesome Teal! Unconditional Love!
NicholasTranscends no contacts is one way of freedom :D
True very True. Good intention!
I thought I was self conscious but I was actually doing this
i relate to that !
I really hate when I see people feeling like they need to placate me! That is a misunderstanding of my honesty, and I then try to explain to them that I accept them and all I want is to get to know each other and connect! Most likely this will happen when they are people that don't trust I will listen to them!
Thanks Teal, this was very helpful and informative. Your videos are very inspirational and educational keep up the great work and keep spreading your light!
This wise soul @Teal Swan is a woman who speaks the truth, straight from the heart; and knows how to form complex principles and concepts into words, and put it into contacts that is easy to understand. Very few have that gift. And we should be wise to listen well to those who do! She is speaking great truths!
See video title, thinking it’s not for me.
Watch video 1 week later and Mind Blown 🤯
I looked through all 3 contacts on my phone 😂
And...?
one of them is my dentist...
@@teslagoth9401 ... second gynecologist and third accountant? :-)))
I was just having a laugh. The only person I would consider placating is the person that could fire me and I never see them lol
DAVE ADAM much love to you too!
The story of my life.. I had to constantly placate my parents, especially my mother, and my sisters to avoid cold shoulders, violence, envy.. you name it.. now I can see how much they destroyed my life, it’s so painful that I have isolated myself to try to heal.. so far it seems impossible to achieve such an impossible task.. I may have not died physically, but psychologically and emotionally, I have been dead since I experimented violence from my “care”givers in the first place.. followed by my “sisters”.. no matter how much I tried to placate them, they never changed their attitude towards me... I just wanted to vanish... even kill myself.. to stop feeling so much pain.. I grew up in a hostile environment, no self worth at all, 😔 a situation that so far I haven’t been able to transcend.. I prefer isolation to having to placate anyone anymore..
Ana Davila everything about this story is the exact same for me. I’ve been isolated from them since 2007 and done a lot of therapy over the course of that time. Also became a psychologist myself since then. It took a long time and it still hurts, the covid crisis has done a great job of rehashing old wounds, but it has gotten light years better and I haven’t felt “dead inside” in so long now. Time really does heal.
Thank you for your words Jesse, they help me feel I’m not alone in this, they help me feel understood, and they somehow give me a sense of peace, and a sense that I can indeed pull through.. and that no matter how impossible it may feel to me, it is possible to feel better, with friends like you, I consider you a friend now, thank you again for your words 🙏 💕
Beautiful ❤️ 🙏
I've found myself in a space of isolation and almost hatred towards my family and friends for how I've needed to placate them in order to be. I'm still living at home too so its compounded as some members still demand the placation. I understand what you're going through.
Ana Davila hello, I too have been abused by my parents and my sisters. What is it about sisters that makes life with them so unbearable? I have cut off contact with one and the other I’m constantly placating. I also placate my parents. I feel your pain. I wish I could find more information about sibling abuse.
I have been really trying to figure out why I never feel at ease with a partner why I am always scared to express my self, why I try so hard to connect but feel so far away from everyone i just want to LOVE. This video is life changing in my journey to heal my relationships with others and myself. Thank you teal i needed this broken down and simplified. Now there is hope for me to enjoy a connection and not be a constant state of terror of messing it up draining myself and ignoring my true need to be transparent.
YES TEAL PLEASE THANKY YOU FOR THIS
I’m s glad I don’t deal with this anymore, I used to...
I like this because it just lets me take a step back and choose whether or not to waste my energy placating this person. It might not be worth it and just let them hate me, if they aren’t someone important to my job or close relationships, who cares 🤷♀️
Oh! I forgot to mention that I *_LOVE_* the new hair color! Your hair is gorgeous
So beatiful , just distracting me every time it comes to her face every 5 seconds 🙏🏼 but dont take it wrong please i personally think she is so gorgeous and i love hearing her 🙏🏼
You are great. Keep up the good work and spread your wisdom! All blessings to you
This is so weird cause I've been in a spiral of confusion at work as to why I couldnt speaki my truth to my bosses. I did parts work, I talked to my family, I sat with it, I can even recognize when it's happening sometimes. Now I know what it is. Now I know why and my therapist and I should be able to use this to help. Thank you Teal!❤
Thank you so much for being you 🥺🥺
I was just talking about this issue with my therapist. I think it is related to the transaction pattern in relationships, which is the feeling that you owe people (are indebted to people) for any kind thing they do for you. And that if you don't pay them back, you will lose the relationship and be potentially shunned by the group, and thus your self-worth/value will diminish.
I've realised there are people on my contact list whose name just brings bad memories and feelings so time to delete 👌😂
I think teal should make a video on " Why Most People Endup Having The Opposite Partner Than What They Need ? ''
Like if you agree so Teal can see it.
X Factor check out her video on attraction.
On her website she has a way to provide suggestions for these videos. If you go to "contact us" down the page in the banner, select the link to ask her a question. You can just type your questions and suggestions and send them in. There is no elaborate form or anything, it is simple and anonymous. Have fun exploring her website 😁
I live for the day when a chickens motives aren't questioned. Can't he just cross the road without question!
Excellent!
With this you have unveiled the truth of the red shoes conspiracy.
For those who are given power are dogged by those who desire that power, and the demands of placation often cause that one must cross the floor to the other side as necessity dictates for the good of all. The social consequence being seen as akin to that of treason...
So red shoes are worn as a sign that to demand placation from such powerful individuals... it is already demonstrated that from such demands their shoes are bathed blood red in the social consequences of placating the self serving desires of others.
And so it is that we only hear voices shouting evil men wear red shoes because they did not get what they wanted from those men for themselves.
Thank you Teal 🌸☘.. much love
Thank you for sharing and showing up! Your work has helped my clarity in this life 🦄
Great Video. I believe this is the reason why I am still single. I am waiting for someone on the same spiritual path and not someone who says, "Well, I am willing and open to learning." I feel I am doing them a dishonor or putting them in a role to act "as if" just so they can please me and in the end the whole relationship is based on lies and fakeness or a relationship based to placate another. One just has to be very responsible when choosing a partner.
This is so accurate and I am so relieved to hear someone else brave enough to say it. Thank you for all the work you do Teal. It is needed and it matters. Much love
Thank you for what you do 💗
This IS one of your very 'top-notch' best videos, no doubt! Thank you for putting tonnes of freaky stuff out on TH-cam - pure internet gold :))
So keep on with your presentations like you're doing it, you have great style.
Thank you Teal
You named for me my childhood. You helped me to label what it was that I experienced. Which gives me space to identify and then recognize, and then choose to heal. Thank you
Wow! You never cease to amaze me with your direct and accurate knowledge of the human condition ❤ Thank you Teal. As I journey along my path in life, you have brought me many insights that are necessary for being more conscious of what is beyond our veils of deception and why we have those veils to begin with. ⚘⚘
So completely thankful for your advise. thank you
Love your talks. You name things that I somehow knew or felt without knowing how to address it. Grateful. Love & Light
This video connected ALL the dots within what The Completion Process could/will accomplish. And now I have the tools and open discussion vocabulary to administrate this into my life with each one of my relationships! Most especially my own daughter, who is frustrated very often because I am showing sides of myself to her JUST for her to placate because I am literally unconsciously emulating my parents (also, it’s much easier to parent a young child who needs a lot of physical care, than a teenager who requires, almost solely, emotional care). This video is life changing and I thank you Teal for being a light unto the path. This information is a gift and gives hope to true healing. And ultimately connecting!; which is humanity’s deepest desire. Implementing this true and honest care in place of frantically covering up woundings, into our actions and interactions with each other, brings us right there.
This video is relatable in my past relationship, thankful its over! Grateful to you Teal, for the clarity explained ❤🙏❤
Thank you. Story of My Life - with EVERYONE I've EVER known.
I toooottally feel this living in LA. So many say they can “help” you get further in your career but you feel the pressure to sleep with them and if you don’t they’ll write you off
Thank you Teal this video really made a real impact.
Your videos are so complete
I knew it, we have yet to transcend narcissism.
This really hit home Teal. Thanks for the insight!!
I’m so grateful for this video. You are great
Why do I feel like this is a very important video... something that should be viewed by people... I wish to be more, direct. Direct can still be safe, gentle even.
Thank you fir this amazing video.
Whoah the timing is so on point 😲😲
It is remarkable how Teal's videos hit right the mark in my life at the right Time. Thanks a lot. I work in administration and will work out an honest solution to talk with people about (often placation demanding) laws and how to deal with that social truth. Even if laws are not loving ones I can take the best interests of the people (to get along with them as authentically as possible) as my own.
I loved it! Amazing! Thank you so much!
Teal seems more relaxed in this vid than she usually does. Like it.
Thank you Teal. This is a very big issue in nearly all my relationships!
Teal is so healing to listen to
I’m truly thankful. This is going to change my life! ✌️🤩
Thank you. Your content is changing my life. I'm incredibly grateful. Karolina
Great message
I don't know how not to do that. So I don't have relationships with people, just my husband and daughter. They don't like having relationships either. We probably just don't get what people usually get from relationships. We only get tired and bored.
Just do some charity now & then you'll be fine.
Hearts you Teal! 💕
Excellent video
OUCH! AND WOW! AND THANK YOU! I now know the name of how I grew up and the fear of confrontation good or bad vs judgement or shame. I would always anticipate an issue and then over analyze every possible outcome of how it could go and then try to direct my actions towards the best possible choice. And still have judgement, guilt or shame placed on me anyway.
Thank you so much
I love you🥰 I love hearing wisdom! Thanks 😊 And you helped me understand gaslighting!
Wow. I've watched all your videos for years. you've changed my life by teaching me how to navigate my own conscious and subconsciousness effectively with myself and my interactions with others, as well as others interactions with others (which helps to give advice when asked) anyway... this particular video seems extremely multilayered (difficult to put into the proper words) but it hits home. I feel like you just shined a light on a serious shadow of mine. Is that why I'm feeling unusually excited and adveresed to this topic? Like, what the hell?!
This is a great video. The narcissism of self defence is a difficult topic! Best wishes all!
I placate at work for self preservation. I've never thought it was a selfless act. I have on occasion been authentic and it only made my work life miserable. I didn't quite understand the projection part but that might be the most applicable part to my work situation.
This is awesome
I finally got your book and love it
eye love you....taught me so much past 3/4 years....without your help...idek lol....I am still sharing you with everyone who I know actually wants to change and help themselves (:
the queen just slaying the dragons 😂
Thank you.
I just watched a clip of the BBC interview. You did very well defending yourself. Stay strong; don't let hurt harden in you. I for one have had so much enlightenment from your videos.
Your awesome! thx for reminding me, when I needed it;)
I needed this thank you
Teal, you are a genious.. I learned so many things from you.... besides your video on 'Endurism' and 'Fcuk the law of attraction' this is my favorite video. Thank you!
Oh my god I placate all the time, I was severely traumatized and locked into fears of people leaving me. They did eventually all leave, it's crushing. I will ...
Thanks Teal this is going to help /hurt so much lolbtw your hair looks lovely!
Actually mostly I don't contact ppl from my contact list and it goes both ways 😆😬💥
This is one of the best videos I’ve seen of yours so far. And that’s saying a lot-your videos rock my world and have changed my life for the better! Now I know why I’m such a miserable person lol
Omg! How is it that almost everytime I'm feeling something there is a video put out that matches exactly what is happening to me! I'm living with my mother right now having moved back with her from a hard situation. I was about to be homeless otherwise. Since I've been here for the past week, I've felt SO threatened and hostile in this environment I've been forcing myself to through up from the emotions, I've been bullied at every turn in this house, we're in this pandemic and I've been going out all day long to avoid her, she's constantly bullying me when I walk away and so I feel forced into a corner and pushed to fight back! I'm also reaching out to people to secure my connection with them so i don't feel so alone here! I'm so conflicted and i can't see any other options right now and I'm hating myself for choosing this option! I feel SO unsafe and no one is paying attention to it! I'm honestly constantly thinking about suicide/checking myself into a hospital for help!
loved the background, It's really nice
That helped with some things, thanks!
Life is relationships Teal love it 💯❤️
That's deep.
Teals back :)
Hi. Teal, you look beautiful like always. Thank you for another good video. Stay safe/ stay well. Happy Spring. 💋
Ps.
You see in daily life one giving in just to get alone. Gifts to someone to impress them. Placation, is just part of life. Some people call it kissing up to someone. You are totally beautiful. ❤
Woooo, really informing
I decided not to placate my own family when I got a divorce.. I was tired of being inauthentic. Guess what, the social consequence was that I lost them all.
Please consider this.
When you are a good person, you don't lose people. They lose you.
Good Intentions thank you so much for that insight! I am now standing in my value and I had to choose between my Self or my ‘tribe’. I am paying the consequences of loneliness now but it is way worth it, I am at peace inside of me.
@@monicagomiz8660, It took me decades to learn. It gives us room to add worthwhile relationships.