Gaslighting is a terrible form of abuse. It can make you feel like you're going crazy. Forgive yourself if you've been a victim of it, it wasn't your fault.
@@garouuchiha4041 guilt doesn't exist because if anyone went through the exact same situation as them with the exact same mental structure, they too would do the exact same thing. Guilt is just a trick by the ego, and becoming aware of the unconscious processes breakes them down.
@@MrYeet-ip4qj Guilt is there for when you do horrible things. What is sad is the lack of skill in dealing with guilt and that some people take advantage of it to guilt trip and trap others.
I ended up in a psych ward 4 times. For ten years I’ve been wondering how and why. Then I watched this video on a day I happened to spent with a particular family member. It made me see that I have been gaslighted all my life. This information is insanely accurate.
Wow, my family did that to me as well and it really traumatized me. They had authorities take me from my house and got me locked up for a day in a mental clinic. It was so aweful. I can not imagine what your experience might have been like. I am still so angry about what they did to me.
I was the scapegoat child so I totally get this video. My problem was that I was super sharp as a kid. I knew they were damaged and abusive. My siblings were too young I suppose to do anything but join in on the ganging up on me. I felt so different from them and couldn’t believe I was born into this stifling family. It was incredibly lonely.
Your younger siblings knew as well. They learned what not to do from the way your family treated you. They were lonely too because they learned to numb themselves or shut the hell up.
I have been gaslighted the MOST by doctors and therapists. This is why I don’t trust the health profession. There’s nothing worse than when someone who is being paid to help you is calling you crazy.
what happened? this reminded me of a neighbor that experiences very acute chest pain and has gone through soooo sooo many procedures, doctors, psychiatrists and no one knows what she has (mind you, she has been experiencing this for many years) so low key she has been labeled as untrustworthy patient (PC way to say crazy?)
Yes! I work in the health care field...pharmacy for over 12 years...MOST of them are the ppl they see( if that makes sense)...they are extremely manipulative and highly egotistical...We must be in-tune with our own health and well-being...they care more about being “right”, than the well being of their patients.
Cus ppl talked u out of ur own truth to a point u lost ur perception of reality so u decided to rebel n try to take back ur power (mostly subconsciously) so u comitted to seeking the "truth/real story" in subjects u were interested in. To do so allowed u to feel some sense of control cus u seeked that info urself
It's so hard to watch this video for me.. Being gaslighted by a parent is one of the worst form of manipulation.. Can't go through the video without taking breaks.. It's just such a heavy panicking feeling..
@Fabio Chiodini - I understand exactly how you feel. You were young and could not have known what was going on. When I get the feeling of panic myself it is also with a feeling that I'm either falling or about to be punished and that I deserve that. What I have recently started to do is just to be aware of the feeling itself as though it is an symptom of something rather than being a part of me. I can then see the behaviours of others, life's acutely-timed punishments and events that I internally personalise (as attacks) as though they are part of a machine that intends that I feel the way I am feeling. When I see the world, and life, as a machine trying to make me feel feelings I don't want to feel I can be aware of life's, or people's, intention and then see past that and into the games it, or they, are playing. Then it doesn't hurt. It's just becomes a cheap trick designed to make me feel pain. Then I see it for that and I see the game. But maybe I'm just avoiding confronting those who do hurt me, including life. Another thing that helps is to not allow morality, the sense of Shoulds or guilt to dictate how you feel. If you start to feel a Should coming on, be aware of it and then focus on how you actually, truly, (do) feel.
You may wish to also take a look at Inner Integration here on YT. Her whole channel is on narcissism including gaslighting and she has been through it herself. x
@@Neptunianist thank you for sharing your experience George. I also can relate to the part of anticipating punishment and or deserving it.. I trust that in exposing to the light as you said certain machanisms they will disappear :) 💕
@@Rabbitunderground hey Maria, yes I ve watched those videos and I'm doing part work and the completion process whenever I feel like I need to.. Discovering Teal has been a huge miracle for my life. I'm so very thankful ❤️
My heart and prayers go out to everyone who’s been victim of crazy making gaslighting liars. Recovering from that kind of abuse requires radical self acceptance and total self assurance and forgiveness . Some lovers we fall for harder than they fall for us will entitle themselves to exceptionalism and infidelity and expect you to give them the benefit of the doubt that they aren’t cheating so they may cheat. If you feel confused listen to your heart and be prepared to walk away.
I feel like i gaslighted my own spiritual awakening for a little while. I knew I was waking up to bigger truths that i always knew on some level, but the thoughts i was having were so out of the ordinary that I went through phases of thinking i must just be crazy. But the more i acted and researched based on my awakening, the more i found that it correlates with the awakening of others. Thats why I think mental illness gets over diagnosed. It's really the main stream mindset that is mentally ill, not most of the people labeled as such.
I struggled with this too, hell I'm still struggling with it. Thank God we can connect to others going through it too. Can you imagine what it was like going through an awakening in, say, the 1800's? That must have been awful! Then again, if you believe in reincarnation, maybe we have and it's why we feel so unsure now, because it got us killed before. Either way, awakening can make you feel so crazy, and if you've been gaslit before, probably 1000x more difficult, but I guess I'm preaching to the choir lol
just been through an awakening myself, is it just me or was the concept of a "spiritual awakening" completely blind to you before it happened and you only came across it later online?
It’s more important to be thought of a seen as a good parent than to actually BE a good parent which requires self examination, humility and ownership of one’s shortcomings to make room for growth and change. An unwavering commitment to this and a deep fundamental love and empathy for ones offspring will make for good soil in becoming a good parent.
Yes of course, and this very thought process you speak of is a root system problem so to speak. Yes promoting self reflection as solution to worlds problems is becoming apparent. a.k.a. Raising consciousness. That’s our true goal I would say as concerned felllow humans Since we have advanced technologies we will be able to better identify what is actually a common path to dysfunction to say the least and ongoing atrocities to say the most. I think humans across the globe will soon all understand that what makes us like far outweighs what makes us different from one another. .
@@msunderstanding3198 you make a very good point Josette! It’s fundamentally a deeply systemic infected and sick root system! So long as everyone keeps trying to treat the symptoms only there can never be true holistic healing in our world. It’s pervasive isn’t it!? I understand this human sickness in the context of Original Sin and the cure is the great Physician Himself. I long for the day when there will be full Restoration and Redemption for Mankind and a return to the way God truly intended it. Until then we need to take full responsibility and ownership of our role in things and how we can work towards righting the wrongs. One major factor that I think keeps people from being unified in vision over this matter is we’ve really lost sight of Absolute Truth and there is no longer a unified agreement on what is Right and Wrong. This keeps people worlds apart and super divided fueling hatred and fear. I really hope things gets rectified soon but sadly I do think things will have to get worse before it gets better. Know any good books that talks about how to achieve Awakening on a Grand Scale?? Where does the Galactic Federation fit in to all of this.
Spot on Teal! Gaslighting is not only used by one another but mostly by most governments. Sometimes it's impossible to to see something from a different perspective no matter how much you stretch your perception. It's self protection..
@@Vention1MGTOW Exactly how I see it! "Hear" what everyone has to say as it tells one a lot more than just listening to what one's been taught or what one wants to believe!
A hidden route cause of depersonalisation: Gaslighting. Teals previous videos made me realise my family had unintentionally for years been gaslighting and it was a contribution factor to me experiencing the disassociation with reality and myself. As well as other anxiety and trauma experiences,working though all of these issues actually healed depersonalisation to the point where I now have times where it vanishes.
This could not come at a better time, I struggle as hell to heal from this as well as other types of abuse and complex trauma. Thank you for everything Teal.
Agreed wholeheartedly - I struggle too with CPTSD and repeat gaslighting from different parties - I've just been contacted by my sociopathic ex who had gaslighted and abused me and now he's teamed up with his new gf and their new child together against me still harassing me even though I'd blocked him and changed numbers and had intervention order etc... Thank you Teal it's great to see your smile and a new video on such a fitting topic!
Question is, how to deal with gaslighters you can't avoid or ignore, when they deny what they said yesterday? Sometimes you are in situation when you must communicate with gaslighter and get something important from him.
How do I know if I have a fixed reality? Just saw your video on nervous breakdown and they keep coming back and I'd like to stop that once and for all.
Teal is describing mine and my mom’s relationship! I’ve always felt like my mom was jealous of me and had to make me feel beneath her because she was so insecure and has a low self esteem.
I have had the same problem the worst part is that it took me long to realise I wasn't the problem. She took me to counsellor when I was in 4th grade stating I had the problem so she feed that in my mind that I am the one with issues. Isn't it strange when your own mother is jealous . These things are so hard to believe plus our environment also pushes us back to these very same people .
Omg wow. This really hit home. I do have an inner fragment that gaslights me. And everything you said after that. I need to rewatch several times and then do the parts work. I sometimes doubt wether something even happened when I get upset. And it’s always to acquiesce to the persons reality who hurt me. It’s a path I take to deny my pain. Thank you for this video.
My father used to beat me and emotionally abuse me, then my mother would say, “You’re just too sensitive. He doesn’t mean it.” when I would be sobbing. My ex husband would say things like, “It must be so hard to be you. You have it SO bad, don’t you?” whenever I would mention something that I wanted to do like eat dinner at the table together instead of him taking the food I made downstairs and eating it in front of the TV alone.
I think anyone who thinks they may be being gaslit should watch the movie. It`s a really good example. I was gaslit by parents, doctors & various other adults until I learned to gaslight myself!! Unlearning that through therapy now.
"It's too improbable to be possible." That has been the mantra of everyone from family to therapist. What has saved me through all of this was my sense of self and my love and acceptance of who I am. I also know that the only constant is change. I have allowed myself to consider opinions and perceptions outside my own. I am ever evolving. Considering that of which does not start within me is a necessity of evolution in who I am. This is an "Evolution" of myself, not giving up on what I know to be true for what, quite frankly, would be far easier if it was all just in my head. Evolution of self does not disregard self; it allows for discernment of new ideas and how they play into self. Growing and maturing is natural. Allowing others to dictate what reality and hence, who you are, is wrong for all involved.
"Allowing others to dictate what reality and hence, who you are is wrong for all involved." That sentence was so powerful, thank you! I wrote it down. It definitely doesn't serve yourself and it absolutely doesn't serve the other if you swallow their projection. Truth only comes by knowing yourself first. I wish you much strength for your journey, I relate to it on probably a different level but still, I understand and I'm in a loooot of pain myself due to such experiences. Best wishes!
@@gill426 I am glad that something I wrote was able to have such impact on another's life. Thank you for responding with that. More times than not, the effect we have on others goes unknown and unsaid. Having touched but one heart, makes all it took to get me to the point of being able to write that with absolute authenticity, completely worth it.
Omg! This explains the cycles that I’ve been going through my relationships and I already believe that i was just too sensitive, I overthink or im just making things a big deal. Now i know why whenever im trying to make a big step in my life theres always doubt and i have to fight it through to convince myself that im on a right path. This is really helpful to my situation now.
Great video. I struggle to heal from this issue and other types of verbal abuse. Gaslighting occurs when a popular high school student causes another student or teacher to question his or her feelings, or judgment of a situation. Most of the gaslighters I've met rely on a second facilitator to back up their story so that there are at least two against one. It adds strength to their story and increases the doubt and confusion of the victim. While they may not act as the main protagonist, kids who assist in gaslighting behaviors empower and encourage the main protagonist to treat others unfairly. This is common in schools, gangs and some marriages. Thank-you for the video.
Right right and right. Fascinating. The inner gaslighting within yourself is a revelation to me!! and true!! I will tell you that when I've asked a gaslighter calmly if they were doing it on purpose. They literally squirmed in their seat. Literally!! No, no no was the answer. They freaked out. So directly asking them their motive is a great weapon.
Most articulate woman on TH-cam. I knew a lot of this already because of the work I’ve been through over the years but one perspective that I found enlightening beyond that was that being raised by oblivious gaslighters helps us to be seekers and I am grateful for that. I am also grateful for trusting and loving myself more and yet leaving room open for doubting and pondering a little without betraying myself.
I know right!!! Still trying to process... Even though I knew deep down I had every right to search I'm just now realizing there was a part of me that was beginning to wonder if maybe something was wrong/crazy with me as I was being told and as they were trying to get other people to believe. I'm putting my foot down even harder with this new understanding/confidence!! I think it's going to blow some people away especially if they were seeing a glimmer of doubt towards myself earlier and they're going to wonder what the heck happened!!! 😳....☺
Gaslighting is the worst form of mental torture it leaves u forgetful and confused I'm dealing with that now and it's so hard because each day u feel confused thanks to these people and they don't feel guilty about what they r mentally doing to you they actually making u disabled where u can't enjoy life and takes away your abilities to think
Oh seriously, crazy. Now i have to take a while to cry the tears i had put aside me not understanding why i feel been treated unfair loosing my sanity when in certain company. Omg. Thank you i ll feel released soon. I can now work on it. Reality hurts like hell now.. but i know now, i did not make up horror stories and do not need to see a doctor. Its the other way around, my parents should, man.. 🙏💋
Yep, and don't expect an easy termination of a gaslighting relationship. My last employer, Bob, was/is a master of all kinds of falsehoods and manipulations. He stopped some of them when I threatened him with law-suit, a few years ago. Then a few months he did another of his manipulation attacks: asked me to find a drawing of a circuit I had designed casually months earlier and give a copy to a technician who was going to finalize it. I found it and did so, and sent Bob an email for his records. Then a week later he asked me if I had finalized that project, and I said no, I gave the drawing to Yves for him to finalize, as you asked me to do. He said "You could have done more..." and walked out of my office before I could reply. A few minutes later I went to his office demanding an apollogy, and he put on an innocent face and higher pitch voice and denied that he had said what he had said. So I asked him to tell me what zDID he say to me, to which he astonishingly said that no such conversation ever took place; and that it was "all in my head". So I said, "you are gaslighting me". Still in high pitch voice and innocent face, after a few seconds he asked me to repeat, like he hadn't heard me. I said "what you are doing has a name; it's called 'gaslighting'". And he turned red and shouted at me like never before to leave his office. A while after he laid me off due to lack of work, which lack of engineering work was in fact true; but on the other hand followed from losing several clients through poor decisions on his part...
You mean legally? I've no idea. Maybe just writing down what happened, putting it in an evelope, and mailing it to yourself registered, for a judge to open some day. I did nothing, as the company was on the verge of bankruptcy. He laid me off in January. Then the Wuhan virus came along, and bankrupt he went.
Thank you for this vid! Timely as usual for me. I had a recent encounter where the person was gaslighting me to entice me into an intimate relationship after i daid i didnt want one. When i questioned some of his actions he denied them. First time ive experienced and recognized unconscious gaslighting. Even when i gave examples there was denial. I was surprised bc this was suppose to be a spiritual person. There was no intention of examining himself and possibly unconscious motives. This new experience gave me a golden opportunity to shift my self-trust. I now tryst myself enough to know that i know what i saw and what i picked up on. It also gave me opportunity to looj at my own actions and at how i was playing a part in his unconscious manipulation. He figured out what i was emotionally hungry for and fed it to me generously. I dont think there was malicious intent, yet still this person was sucking my energy and distracting me from Soul growth. Needless to say i created distance to keep myself on track with my new growth and told him he was responsible for his.
Yes. One of the best videos about gaslighting. Never saw it until I hit rock bottom. I just always thought I could ’learn from others’ and hat ’others may know better’. No more. I know what I feel and what I need. I stand for myself and will not be with anybody who wants me to stand up for myself.
Absolutely incredible Teal. I’m really coming to understand my deep self doubt from this video. Your discussion on Gaslighting has been even more eye opening. Thank you always!! You are so diligent and inspiring!!
It's funny how the word 'gaslighting' originated from a movie & yet its meaning is somehow similar in some remote jungles in the Philippines where there is still no electricity. There, to say that to "light a gas lamp against someone" actually means asking a native shaman or a witch to perform a 'lighting of a gas lamp ritual' to curse atargeted person insane or paranoid & usually to end up killing themselves in the process. It is said that only people with worn charms or 'unblemished' conscience are immune to this sort of 'gaslighting'.
Omg this was me so bad.. this philosophy broke me so bad .. there's a darker side to awareness that I felt by trying to understand oneness and that nothing exists and that world is a mirror and now I am aware of the root.. very grateful this video exists
The 2x4 story didn't make me feel confused, it made me feel pissed. So I guess I should watch for anger being a sign of gaslighting, thank you for that. My abusers told me things like "you can never admit when you're wrong" funny enough, I don't have basically any memories of my abusers admitting they were wrong.
It makes so much sense to me now why I so often feel confused, empty, insecure when it comes to standing up for myself - confused, empty, insecure about my own perception of reality, not even knowing what I wanted to say or what just a moment ago seemed so clear and accurate within myself, like I forget things. Now I know that I was simply suppressing my own perception of reality because of this insanely toxic mental abuse I've experienced all my life. Oh I love, appreciate and am so proud of myself, that little girl who was so strong to endure this treatment all life, hiding herself in order to protect herself. And I love and appreciate all of you beautiful people who went through this and are now uncovering the truth. (being aware of that inner aspect of me trying to gaslight me while writing this) What I experience as true liberation is being in heart consciousness as often as possible and being aware of the I am presence, that's when I feel complete and whole. Practicing to embody this state of perception and being more and more. To all truth seekers out there, love you all 💖✨ And I appreciate you Teal!
Teal Swan, I have a new appreciation for your work. I find myself isolated and cut off from everyone, through no fault of my own. Gaslighting. I've seen this video before, but never really applied it to my own life. My Goodness, there's been a lot of it in my life. Still going on today, really. Not to be flirtatious, but it's great when Wisdom like this comes from a woman. It makes it all the more healing. Thanks for the free therapy sessions! I'll probably be a paying customer soon!
I need to get this off my chest in some kind of public manner, and I don't use Facebook or Twitter, so I'm posting on this amazing Teal video I watched to help myself move past my fury at this and now I'm so charged up with energy that I'm releasing it here, uhm don't mind me: Humboldt County, California is full of gaslighting hippies who think spiritual bypassing is actual awakening. Even the non-hippies get caught up in it too and perpetuate the same toxic cycles. And then everyone complains about how everyone is sooooo "cool and groovy" and can't express real emotions, but then as soon as they end up in a conflict, they do the exact. same. thing. It's pathetic. "Spiritual" spaces are without doubt the most judgmental places I've ever been. I'm looking at you, too, Findhorn Ecovillage. Yeah, all of you, listen up: Walling off your consciousness so that it only contains DMT and Dirtwire and mushroom hunting is not awakening, it's denial. Refusing to allow expressions of negative emotions in yourself or anyone else is not "high vibe;" it's textbook emotional repression. You cannot repress your way into consciousness. You cannot deny your way into ultimate truth. Literally everyone is just you, so refusing to engage with anyone else's anger or pain is refusing to engage with your own. You cannot awaken by closing yourself off to the world; the entire world is you. Please, for the sake of yourselves and everyone else on this planet, grow up. Your lack of self-awareness and refusal to accept the full totality of yourselves is abusing people. Y'all aren't woke, you're just a bunch of cowardly drug addicts who like gardening.
PS to my comment - re injury to self trust…. Am healing my fear of not being capable to put forth my work in a way that it will be received. Because for a long time I felt it was my responsibility to awaken the gas lighters, and I felt like I had failed. This injury to self trust is the death of art! And the death of full true expression of us all.
Wow, Teal, thank you for this new level of insight. I have been drawing in gaslighting energy my entire life , until now. As I embrace self acceptance and trust, I recognize it. Asking about potential motive of the other has helped me discern what is mine and what is theirs as well as make a decision in that moment that honors me moving forward. And by not owning, engaging with or enabling the adaptive controlling strategy of gaslighting behavior of the other (conscious or not) perhaps also serves this other by leaving them with an opportunity to contemplate their own behavior and take personal responsibility for it …or not.
I'm crying, I'm in the thick of this now and am falling apart fast, its killing my spirit, my light ,my soul, and is so very painful.....I just cant seem to find a way out....so lost & so very alone....THANK YOY TEAL FOR UR BEAUTIFULLY DELIVERED TRUTH, AND GIVING ME SOMETHING I KNOW I CAN TRUST IS TRUE & REAL.....♀️🌬☮💜☯️🎶🕉♾
You can get out! I did, it’s not easy and I have a way to go but I am determined to sort my head out. I felt just like you, not long a go. I was confused, walked on eggshells and dreaded going home, now I have a safe home, I want to return to. I believe in you, hope you believe in yourself too. X
Precious episode! Thank you. I'm healing after years of gaslighting in my childhood and in a marriage. This is such a helpful guidance and support for me. ❤
💀 avoided this video so long I’ve been chronically gaslit but watching now I deeply realized how I ALSO GASLIT PEOPLE (compeltely unconsciously , I don’t do that on purpose) but that’s kind blowing!! I even have gaslit Teal with things I’ve said to her when I was her fb friend and posted on her wall. I sincerely had no idea. Wow I needed this awareness. I also need the awareness I’m heavily gaslit by so many 3D people in my life as well.
Incredible Teal, turning over stone after stone and lightening the burden of so many of us, lightening and dissolving! Im solid in understanding the abuse gaslighting of my family, never wavered longtime conscious, and now also compassionate of the whys and how it serves them. I have (for most part), stepped away. BUT I had not realized how injured my self trust has been, not re my history, but re my future and all I might be / am capable of! Long time comin, and embracing the perfect timing of the present. Thank you beautiful creature, bless you in every fabulous way.. Might there be a Part ll to this?!! (If not, I got this :)
You are the best psychologist on TH-cam and I’m absolutely serious about it. The things you say are very clear, logical. I’ve been gaslit by an abusive father for many years. Self doubt is constant and the search for truth is also constant. It makes you sad, angry, resentful, it destroys slowly but surely and physically too, in time. Developing self trust feels like making a balance between holding on but still keep being able to analyse things and your feelings.
This a life saver for someone who was raised by people who gaslit them. Beyond grateful to find this and learn about why I can't trust myself anymore. Thank you Teal 🌷
This is exactly what my ex of 7 years constantly did to me. But I always knew what I was saying was the truth it showed me just how twisted ans manipulative he was and honestly it proves how insane narcissists are while they pretend to be the victim
I am so very glad and grateful for your videos. Despite what you go through publicly, I will always remember the analogy of the moon and the jail cell when everything seems hopeless. People tend to make themselves and others feel hopeless. Your videos offer the opportunity to find hope in pretty much all situations (even if I don't get the messages the first time). Thanks for your thoughts always Teal.
I was raised by a mentally/emotionally/spiritually unwell grandmother after both my parents died. She gaslit me so bad at 9 years old and for my whole life I attracted so much abuse in my life and it has been hard to forgive this woman and myself. It has been so tough to trust myself and form healthy relationships cos of the spiritual attack I had on my life due to this woman's deep-seated hatred of myself and my late mother. It has been a tough journey of learning how to believe in myself after so many years of being my own enemy. My voice and perception matters. R.I.P to my puppy Roxie, she passed a week ago. She taught me how to love and fight for myself. For her, I will continue to heal and become more compassionate with myself.
This video made me realise that my Mum has always gaslighted me.. And it translated into me being a chameleon in my teens, and attracting abusive partners that gaslit me even more.. Thankfully, I am out of those relationships, I have boundaries in place with my Mum, and I am learning everyday to love and trust myself. Thank you Teal for explaining all of this so eloquently. I found this video from your latest instagram post, saying whichever word you see first is the video you need to watch. It really was: this has opened up a whole new understanding as to why I was in the patterns that I was in for much of my life.
thank you. Wow, I learned so much. Day by day, I am gradually learning to trust myself and my decisions. I've been raised by parents who constantly criticize or make me question decisions daily. I am learning to stand up for myself and my life now.
I'm a diagnosed BPD, participated in two sessions of DBT, it changed my life. It also alienated me from my family. In particular my son, who was alienated from me for 17yrs. He now tried to kill me, literally. His father is responsible for this child's life . I now live trying to forget having any relationship with him. I am working on this minute to minute, some days I'm over run with sadness, I embrace it. I find myself just wanting to be still. Waiting is my strength, but now, I dont have anyone . It's ok. I work on me. Only me and my relationship with this world. I feel alienated from it all. Once I was filled with desire for living, now, I just wait. Everyday I wait, for what? I have no idea
Moe Harrison stay strong....love yourself...live life...as per hindu dharma you get human birth form after about 108000 cycles...please go to a ISKCON temple and listen to sermons, it will help believe me, the holy book BHAGWAD GITA tells about life, work, service, karma, renunciation and freedom from cycle of life and death...stay strong sister
This is really powerful Teal. Thank you so much for making this video & helping us understand in such a clear & concise way what so many of us have lived & how it can be undermining the foundations of our success in life today. I’m going to be diving deeper into understanding how being gaslit as a child has led to the lack of self-confidence & trust that I sometimes/often feel when it comes to starting & following thru with new projects 💞♥️👏🏼🙏🏼
This stuff happens a lot in mainstream culture. Just listen to mainstream music and observe the short-lived relationships of ''stars'' I mean look at what happened with Amber Heard And Johnny Depp. Just one example of dysfunctional dynamics trying to function. God bless everyone who looks within. There's too much chaos outside of us. Peace.
Thank you so very much Teal. This is exactly what I needed at this time. It helps me see and understand why I have always been on a lifetime search for truth and why I doubt myself so much.
I made a video few years ago including the "agree to disagree causes commitment to staying separate" point!! Hugely important point, please do make whole video about this topic soon❤️
Perfect time to release this I just started noticing family members doing this and myself doing this to others. And I am very great-full for a full explanation on this thank you Teal!
My Big Fat ex, Did this to me, for 6yrs... And everyone wondered why I broke up with him, to never see him again. Took me a long time to realize what he was doing, and how it affected me. Still healing 🙏💓🕯️❣️👁️💗
This is exactly what the current chapter of my life is about (and probably always has been, but now Im aware of it). What you said about it helped me A LOT. Thanks Teal!
Totally me im always so confused or conflicted and full of self doubt.. never know is gaslighting.. always thought that im only being open minded to all perception
Being gaslighted is horrific and can be something so hard to recover from. Validation and need to control one of the prime reason people gaslight. Great content!
omg. ty teal for mentioning borderline- "leaving you in a state of confusion" basically why I clicked here, although I wasn't sure how it connected to gaslighting. its gaslighting oneself !
I like the way you explain this. Connecting gaslighting with BPD, I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone explain it that way. You have major insight that I resonate with!
To trust yourself without sticking strongly to your perceptions, can be done by trusting yourself as an informational algorithm. Trust that you always make a good perception based on what you've experienced. Should what you have seen be biased, leading to a biased perception, know that you cannot know this, but that openness allows you to shift your perception when better information arrives. Trust yourself as a good algorithm, with an ever-changing state.
i have never felt so validated before that i'm not crazy and that my memories are real. thank you thank you thank you. only half way through the video and already you have highlighted and described everything i've been trying to make sense of for the last 5 years of my life. the internal gaslighting especially. i was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder about a yr and a half ago so when you mentioned that my jaw literally dropped like i had to pause the video and just stare in awe for a second. this video is helping me make sense of my reality for the first time ever. i was attacked by the boy i was "dating" 5 yrs ago in a public setting where there was witnesses and repercussions for his actions. even after being validated by witnesses and finding out that we had a shared reality of what happened to me, i still to this day don't trust my own memories only because the boy who attacked me tells me it never happened. i even question whether the witnesses were real or if i just completely imagined those interactions. consequently i think i've become a victim of my own internal gaslighting ever since. i don't believe my own reality surrounding such a traumatic event in my teenage years, and it leaks over into ever aspect of my life. ever minor issue i face now i convince myself i've imagined. but like you also described, i still have this other perception of things where i'm aware i've been gaslit but even still i convince myself that i'm making that up as well in some lame attempt to validate my own lies. what i know to be true completely contradicts what i feel and believe to be true. possible TW for self harm, but i've dealt with self harm since i was only 10 yrs old, but in the last 5 yrs since i was assaulted it has gotten so much worse and I feel like i finally understand why. Everything I have ever been through and every pain i have ever felt, i find a way to invalidate. no matter how much mental anguish something my cause me, i always find a way to convince myself it isn't real and that i just want sympathy or pity. The only pain that I cannot find a way to deny myself of is physical pain. It's like If i cut myself deep enough, I finally can feel a pain that I know is real. Nobody not even myself can take that away from me because the proof is on my own skin. I've never ever realized any of this until the last couple of days and I've been doing a lot of thinking and I feel like I might not be totally crazy for the first time in a long time. Thank you for making this video and helping me to understand my reality a little bit better than I did before.
All I could think about during this was how my ex boyfriends whole family did this to him, on a constant level every day. Until one day he snapped and literally became insane and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It was horrible to see what happened to him. The medication helped the insane talking but with them he became real quiet and really different. The worst part is that his family wouldn't change and so the psychosis came back. It was really painful seeing how they kept up the abuse even though he was sick. It's been a few years but I still can't over it somehow. I did what I could to help him but he couldn't step away from them.
hands down the most accurate and thorough explanation of gaslighting I have ever heard. Your scope of understanding on this topic is once again astounding. thank you for your work Teal. Forever grateful to you for your wise and grounded voice to n this vastly complex Earth experience. U are truly a guiding light!🙌🙏✨
Year 6, 7 of healing this month was a few steps back one forward. Thank you it's a process. I was listening again for comfort and refocusing when depression flared. I feel more confidence some days. Doubt and distrust of self flare. I have to feel the feelings I wasn't feeling or going thru motions. Some days the path is clear some days unclear. They made me refuse to trust myself only when they caused hurt I couldn't function. I still don't function well in learning self care for 40 to 60. It's overwhelming. I liked the article on shame it's healing me. Thank you Teal. I stay close here. keep listening stay on the creative path.
I don't try anymore, I keep quiet because saying anything at all will certainly cause conflict or gaslighting. 😐 This really helped me find the solution and the source to the problem, thank you.
Teal you are a blessing to humanity! you've helped me develop into a healthier woman. Without you and your teachings I'd be slapped into adulthood with little way of escaping the brokenness and the delusion I've been under. Reality super painful but is still better than living a walking gaslight. Truth has destroyed everything I knew about myself and my upbringing at the same time cleared the path to living the best and most joyful existence in this life alone. You truly are a blessing!!
Gaslighting helps my ex to keep me hanging around as opposed to finding another. So he will spin so many stories and the way that I find helpful is to not attach to any of what comes out of his mouth and carry on with my life because I've told him verbally and clearly that we are just f.r.i.e.n.d.s and nothing more🙂. According to him we are still together.
My mother is a sicopath she destroyed so much but still walks around like a little angel And she teachs all my sibblings to never question her and gave evryone else the feeling of guilt instead of herself. Till today she can not understand what she has done
Gaslighting is a terrible form of abuse. It can make you feel like you're going crazy. Forgive yourself if you've been a victim of it, it wasn't your fault.
Authentic Self Guide thank you!
@@garouuchiha4041 and also usually cheatin husband
just sayin...
@@garouuchiha4041 guilt doesn't exist because if anyone went through the exact same situation as them with the exact same mental structure, they too would do the exact same thing. Guilt is just a trick by the ego, and becoming aware of the unconscious processes breakes them down.
@@MrYeet-ip4qj Guilt is there for when you do horrible things. What is sad is the lack of skill in dealing with guilt and that some people take advantage of it to guilt trip and trap others.
@Gordon Campbell You don't understand psychology
I ended up in a psych ward 4 times. For ten years I’ve been wondering how and why. Then I watched this video on a day I happened to spent with a particular family member. It made me see that I have been gaslighted all my life. This information is insanely accurate.
Yo when you realize it’s been happening all your life, and for me still happening, is crazy.
Sorry you went through that❣️
I'm sorry that you've experienced this and have been traumatized from it. Gaslighters want the other person to think they are crazy. It's awful.
I UNDERSTAND🙏🏼❤️💜🤎🔥 sending you my love beautiful women! I’m glad you found teal :)
Wow, my family did that to me as well and it really traumatized me. They had authorities take me from my house and got me locked up for a day in a mental clinic. It was so aweful. I can not imagine what your experience might have been like. I am still so angry about what they did to me.
I was the scapegoat child so I totally get this video. My problem was that I was super sharp as a kid. I knew they were damaged and abusive. My siblings were too young I suppose to do anything but join in on the ganging up on me. I felt so different from them and couldn’t believe I was born into this stifling family. It was incredibly lonely.
I can relate to your story too
Oh my God. I can relate.
Leave dear. You can do it. It’s so liberating and you’ll grow in leaps and bounds
Your younger siblings knew as well. They learned what not to do from the way your family treated you. They were lonely too because they learned to numb themselves or shut the hell up.
I feel sorry about what you endured
I have been gaslighted the MOST by doctors and therapists. This is why I don’t trust the health profession. There’s nothing worse than when someone who is being paid to help you is calling you crazy.
yes
what happened? this reminded me of a neighbor that experiences very acute chest pain and has gone through soooo sooo many procedures, doctors, psychiatrists and no one knows what she has (mind you, she has been experiencing this for many years) so low key she has been labeled as untrustworthy patient (PC way to say crazy?)
Yes! I work in the health care field...pharmacy for over 12 years...MOST of them are the ppl they see( if that makes sense)...they are extremely manipulative and highly egotistical...We must be in-tune with our own health and well-being...they care more about being “right”, than the well being of their patients.
I worked in psych for 32 years. This is mostly true especially with female patients.
It pays well to tell people how they should perceive reality, especially when given a "respected" platform
Now I understand why I have always been a Truth Seeker.....
There you go, that's it
Cus ppl talked u out of ur own truth to a point u lost ur perception of reality so u decided to rebel n try to take back ur power (mostly subconsciously) so u comitted to seeking the "truth/real story" in subjects u were interested in. To do so allowed u to feel some sense of control cus u seeked that info urself
@Joey Maxon Because we've been gaslighting ourselves, searching for objective truth.
It's so hard to watch this video for me.. Being gaslighted by a parent is one of the worst form of manipulation.. Can't go through the video without taking breaks.. It's just such a heavy panicking feeling..
@Fabio Chiodini - I understand exactly how you feel. You were young and could not have known what was going on.
When I get the feeling of panic myself it is also with a feeling that I'm either falling or about to be punished and that I deserve that. What I have recently started to do is just to be aware of the feeling itself as though it is an symptom of something rather than being a part of me. I can then see the behaviours of others, life's acutely-timed punishments and events that I internally personalise (as attacks) as though they are part of a machine that intends that I feel the way I am feeling. When I see the world, and life, as a machine trying to make me feel feelings I don't want to feel I can be aware of life's, or people's, intention and then see past that and into the games it, or they, are playing.
Then it doesn't hurt. It's just becomes a cheap trick designed to make me feel pain. Then I see it for that and I see the game.
But maybe I'm just avoiding confronting those who do hurt me, including life.
Another thing that helps is to not allow morality, the sense of Shoulds or guilt to dictate how you feel. If you start to feel a Should coming on, be aware of it and then focus on how you actually, truly, (do) feel.
You may wish to also take a look at Inner Integration here on YT. Her whole channel is on narcissism including gaslighting and she has been through it herself. x
@@Neptunianist thank you for sharing your experience George. I also can relate to the part of anticipating punishment and or deserving it.. I trust that in exposing to the light as you said certain machanisms they will disappear :) 💕
@@Rabbitunderground hey Maria, yes I ve watched those videos and I'm doing part work and the completion process whenever I feel like I need to.. Discovering Teal has been a huge miracle for my life. I'm so very thankful
❤️
Here take some warm hugs 🤗
Gaslighting in my life: the military, organized evangelical Christianity, private and public education, my father.
Wow
My heart and prayers go out to everyone who’s been victim of crazy making gaslighting liars. Recovering from that kind of abuse requires radical self acceptance and total self assurance and forgiveness . Some lovers we fall for harder than they fall for us will entitle themselves to exceptionalism and infidelity and expect you to give them the benefit of the doubt that they aren’t cheating so they may cheat. If you feel confused listen to your heart and be prepared to walk away.
I feel like i gaslighted my own spiritual awakening for a little while. I knew I was waking up to bigger truths that i always knew on some level, but the thoughts i was having were so out of the ordinary that I went through phases of thinking i must just be crazy. But the more i acted and researched based on my awakening, the more i found that it correlates with the awakening of others. Thats why I think mental illness gets over diagnosed. It's really the main stream mindset that is mentally ill, not most of the people labeled as such.
I struggled with this too, hell I'm still struggling with it. Thank God we can connect to others going through it too. Can you imagine what it was like going through an awakening in, say, the 1800's? That must have been awful! Then again, if you believe in reincarnation, maybe we have and it's why we feel so unsure now, because it got us killed before. Either way, awakening can make you feel so crazy, and if you've been gaslit before, probably 1000x more difficult, but I guess I'm preaching to the choir lol
👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻💯💯💯🗣🗣🗣 yes!!!!!!!!
I also experienced this like i could have WROTE this
I have seen a lot of truths in my awakening, not all have been easy to look at.
just been through an awakening myself, is it just me or was the concept of a "spiritual awakening" completely blind to you before it happened and you only came across it later online?
It’s more important to be thought of a seen as a good parent than to actually BE a good parent which requires self examination, humility and ownership of one’s shortcomings to make room for growth and change. An unwavering commitment to this and a deep fundamental love and empathy for ones offspring will make for good soil in becoming a good parent.
Yes of course, and this very thought process you speak of is a root system problem so to speak. Yes promoting self reflection as solution to worlds problems is becoming apparent. a.k.a. Raising consciousness. That’s our true goal I would say as concerned felllow humans
Since we have advanced technologies we will be able to better identify what is actually a common path to dysfunction to say the least and ongoing atrocities to say the most. I think humans across the globe will soon all understand that what makes us like far outweighs what makes us different from one another. .
@@msunderstanding3198 you make a very good point Josette! It’s fundamentally a deeply systemic infected and sick root system! So long as everyone keeps trying to treat the symptoms only there can never be true holistic healing in our world. It’s pervasive isn’t it!? I understand this human sickness in the context of Original Sin and the cure is the great Physician Himself. I long for the day when there will be full Restoration and Redemption for Mankind and a return to the way God truly intended it. Until then we need to take full responsibility and ownership of our role in things and how we can work towards righting the wrongs. One major factor that I think keeps people from being unified in vision over this matter is we’ve really lost sight of Absolute Truth and there is no longer a unified agreement on what is Right and Wrong. This keeps people worlds apart and super divided fueling hatred and fear. I really hope things gets rectified soon but sadly I do think things will have to get worse before it gets better. Know any good books that talks about how to achieve Awakening on a Grand Scale?? Where does the Galactic Federation fit in to all of this.
Spot on Teal! Gaslighting is not only used by one another but mostly by most governments. Sometimes it's impossible to to see something from a different perspective no matter how much you stretch your perception. It's self protection..
@@Vention1MGTOW
Exactly how I see it! "Hear" what everyone has to say as it tells one a lot more than just listening to what one's been taught or what one wants to believe!
A hidden route cause of depersonalisation: Gaslighting. Teals previous videos made me realise my family had unintentionally for years been gaslighting and it was a contribution factor to me experiencing the disassociation with reality and myself. As well as other anxiety and trauma experiences,working though all of these issues actually healed depersonalisation to the point where I now have times where it vanishes.
Wow thanks for this I never linked the two, but now I see how gaslighting can cause depersonalisation. This explains a lot about my past suffering.
I feel like it would also trigger perhaps different personalities within ourselves as well
This could not come at a better time, I struggle as hell to heal from this as well as other types of abuse and complex trauma.
Thank you for everything Teal.
Agreed wholeheartedly - I struggle too with CPTSD and repeat gaslighting from different parties - I've just been contacted by my sociopathic ex who had gaslighted and abused me and now he's teamed up with his new gf and their new child together against me still harassing me even though I'd blocked him and changed numbers and had intervention order etc...
Thank you Teal it's great to see your smile and a new video on such a fitting topic!
Same! My question of reality to extreme and seek of truth has been making me feel crazy
Question is, how to deal with gaslighters you can't avoid or ignore, when they deny what they said yesterday?
Sometimes you are in situation when you must communicate with gaslighter and get something important from him.
How do I know if I have a fixed reality? Just saw your video on nervous breakdown and they keep coming back and I'd like to stop that once and for all.
a gaslighter's motive is to be and feel powerful, because the live in a perpetual cycle of powerlessness...
@Nailea Olivas yeaaaa
@Nailea Olivas it's all good. I thought your response was quite weird, but aaay it's all good
@Nailea Olivas perhaps you will do well with a career in acting lol ... you'll be good at it
Teal is describing mine and my mom’s relationship! I’ve always felt like my mom was jealous of me and had to make me feel beneath her because she was so insecure and has a low self esteem.
I have had the same problem the worst part is that it took me long to realise I wasn't the problem. She took me to counsellor when I was in 4th grade stating I had the problem so she feed that in my mind that I am the one with issues. Isn't it strange when your own mother is jealous . These things are so hard to believe plus our environment also pushes us back to these very same people .
Samee
Omg wow. This really hit home. I do have an inner fragment that gaslights me. And everything you said after that. I need to rewatch several times and then do the parts work. I sometimes doubt wether something even happened when I get upset. And it’s always to acquiesce to the persons reality who hurt me. It’s a path I take to deny my pain. Thank you for this video.
❤️❤️👌🏻
So what you do to heal it ?
It really makes one feel helpless and drives them insane.
Or they make you feel that way, and assume you are weak and will obey. Its narcissism
My father used to beat me and emotionally abuse me, then my mother would say, “You’re just too sensitive. He doesn’t mean it.” when I would be sobbing. My ex husband would say things like, “It must be so hard to be you. You have it SO bad, don’t you?” whenever I would mention something that I wanted to do like eat dinner at the table together instead of him taking the food I made downstairs and eating it in front of the TV alone.
So Sorry
I’m sorry... 💓
Relieved to see the word "ex" before husband. Good for you.
Sorry you had to go through that
that's invalidation
my narcisistic mother did this to me my entire life
Kayo Yuuki-sama mine did the same to me
I'm so sorry and I feel for you.. I wish you all the best 💕
Fabio Chiodini thank you
same
Same. I feel for you
Thank you for showing me how to see if I'm gaslighting those close to me unintentionally.
I Know right
I think anyone who thinks they may be being gaslit should watch the movie. It`s a really good example. I was gaslit by parents, doctors & various other adults until I learned to gaslight myself!! Unlearning that through therapy now.
It's terrifying that the person who claims to love you the most can wound you so deeply. And unconsciously..
I think they do it conciously lol but either way it’s not ok
I think this is the hardest part. If it is the person you trusted to love and protect you and who had promised to do so forever. 😢
Sitting here analyzing how I was gaslighted all my life and still am. And how I might be doing it too.
Truth seems to be subjective. Wisdom is universal.
Expanding your perceptions is fun.
Is that true?
P. Sherman ongoing dilemma
B C I’m sure that if we are determining people’s motives, it’s all a bit weird. But if we’re asking if we’re all human, it’s pretty clear.
"It's too improbable to be possible."
That has been the mantra of everyone from family to therapist. What has saved me through all of this was my sense of self and my love and acceptance of who I am. I also know that the only constant is change. I have allowed myself to consider opinions and perceptions outside my own. I am ever evolving. Considering that of which does not start within me is a necessity of evolution in who I am. This is an "Evolution" of myself, not giving up on what I know to be true for what, quite frankly, would be far easier if it was all just in my head. Evolution of self does not disregard self; it allows for discernment of new ideas and how they play into self.
Growing and maturing is natural. Allowing others to dictate what reality and hence, who you are, is wrong for all involved.
"Allowing others to dictate what reality and hence, who you are is wrong for all involved."
That sentence was so powerful, thank you! I wrote it down. It definitely doesn't serve yourself and it absolutely doesn't serve the other if you swallow their projection. Truth only comes by knowing yourself first.
I wish you much strength for your journey, I relate to it on probably a different level but still, I understand and I'm in a loooot of pain myself due to such experiences. Best wishes!
@@gill426 I am glad that something I wrote was able to have such impact on another's life. Thank you for responding with that. More times than not, the effect we have on others goes unknown and unsaid. Having touched but one heart, makes all it took to get me to the point of being able to write that with absolute authenticity, completely worth it.
Once you are a victim of a parental gashlighting, you are vulnerable to every gashlighting
Oh my goodness that is true!
Omg! This explains the cycles that I’ve been going through my relationships and I already believe that i was just too sensitive, I overthink or im just making things a big deal. Now i know why whenever im trying to make a big step in my life theres always doubt and i have to fight it through to convince myself that im on a right path. This is really helpful to my situation now.
Great video. I struggle to heal from this issue and other types of verbal abuse. Gaslighting occurs when a popular high school student causes another student or teacher to question his or her feelings, or judgment of a situation. Most of the gaslighters I've met rely on a second facilitator to back up their story so that there are at least two against one. It adds strength to their story and increases the doubt and confusion of the victim. While they may not act as the main protagonist, kids who assist in gaslighting behaviors empower and encourage the main protagonist to treat others unfairly. This is common in schools, gangs and some marriages. Thank-you for the video.
Right right and right. Fascinating. The inner gaslighting within yourself is a revelation to me!! and true!! I will tell you that when I've asked a gaslighter calmly if they were doing it on purpose. They literally squirmed in their seat. Literally!! No, no no was the answer. They freaked out. So directly asking them their motive is a great weapon.
Most articulate woman on TH-cam. I knew a lot of this already because of the work I’ve been through over the years but one perspective that I found enlightening beyond that was that being raised by oblivious gaslighters helps us to be seekers and I am grateful for that. I am also grateful for trusting and loving myself more and yet leaving room open for doubting and pondering a little without betraying myself.
gaslighting and truthseeking part blew my mind...
agree
I know right!!! Still trying to process... Even though I knew deep down I had every right to search I'm just now realizing there was a part of me that was beginning to wonder if maybe something was wrong/crazy with me as I was being told and as they were trying to get other people to believe. I'm putting my foot down even harder with this new understanding/confidence!! I think it's going to blow some people away especially if they were seeing a glimmer of doubt towards myself earlier and they're going to wonder what the heck happened!!! 😳....☺
Same.
Gaslighting is the worst form of mental torture it leaves u forgetful and confused I'm dealing with that now and it's so hard because each day u feel confused thanks to these people and they don't feel guilty about what they r mentally doing to you they actually making u disabled where u can't enjoy life and takes away your abilities to think
OMG thank you for revealing the internal gaslighter, I never thought about this!
Oh seriously, crazy. Now i have to take a while to cry the tears i had put aside me not understanding why i feel been treated unfair loosing my sanity when in certain company. Omg. Thank you i ll feel released soon. I can now work on it. Reality hurts like hell now.. but i know now, i did not make up horror stories and do not need to see a doctor. Its the other way around, my parents should, man.. 🙏💋
Yep, and don't expect an easy termination of a gaslighting relationship. My last employer, Bob, was/is a master of all kinds of falsehoods and manipulations. He stopped some of them when I threatened him with law-suit, a few years ago. Then a few months he did another of his manipulation attacks: asked me to find a drawing of a circuit I had designed casually months earlier and give a copy to a technician who was going to finalize it. I found it and did so, and sent Bob an email for his records. Then a week later he asked me if I had finalized that project, and I said no, I gave the drawing to Yves for him to finalize, as you asked me to do. He said "You could have done more..." and walked out of my office before I could reply.
A few minutes later I went to his office demanding an apollogy, and he put on an innocent face and higher pitch voice and denied that he had said what he had said. So I asked him to tell me what zDID he say to me, to which he astonishingly said that no such conversation ever took place; and that it was "all in my head".
So I said, "you are gaslighting me".
Still in high pitch voice and innocent face, after a few seconds he asked me to repeat, like he hadn't heard me.
I said "what you are doing has a name; it's called 'gaslighting'".
And he turned red and shouted at me like never before to leave his office.
A while after he laid me off due to lack of work, which lack of engineering work was in fact true; but on the other hand followed from losing several clients through poor decisions on his part...
Thanks for sharing. How do you document this abuse?
You mean legally? I've no idea. Maybe just writing down what happened, putting it in an evelope, and mailing it to yourself registered, for a judge to open some day.
I did nothing, as the company was on the verge of bankruptcy. He laid me off in January. Then the Wuhan virus came along, and bankrupt he went.
Thank you for this vid! Timely as usual for me. I had a recent encounter where the person was gaslighting me to entice me into an intimate relationship after i daid i didnt want one. When i questioned some of his actions he denied them. First time ive experienced and recognized unconscious gaslighting. Even when i gave examples there was denial. I was surprised bc this was suppose to be a spiritual person. There was no intention of examining himself and possibly unconscious motives. This new experience gave me a golden opportunity to shift my self-trust. I now tryst myself enough to know that i know what i saw and what i picked up on. It also gave me opportunity to looj at my own actions and at how i was playing a part in his unconscious manipulation. He figured out what i was emotionally hungry for and fed it to me generously. I dont think there was malicious intent, yet still this person was sucking my energy and distracting me from Soul growth. Needless to say i created distance to keep myself on track with my new growth and told him he was responsible for his.
This is the gift that keeps on giving. Nearly 5 years later and I just realised im still being triggered because of gaslighting in the past ☹
Yes. One of the best videos about gaslighting. Never saw it until I hit rock bottom. I just always thought I could ’learn from others’ and hat ’others may know better’. No more. I know what I feel and what I need. I stand for myself and will not be with anybody who wants me to stand up for myself.
Absolutely incredible Teal. I’m really coming to understand my deep self doubt from this video. Your discussion on Gaslighting has been even more eye opening. Thank you always!! You are so diligent and inspiring!!
It's funny how the word 'gaslighting' originated from a movie & yet its meaning is somehow similar in some remote jungles in the Philippines where there is still no electricity. There, to say that to "light a gas lamp against someone" actually means asking a native shaman or a witch to perform a 'lighting of a gas lamp ritual' to curse atargeted person insane or paranoid & usually to end up killing themselves in the process. It is said that only people with worn charms or 'unblemished' conscience are immune to this sort of 'gaslighting'.
Eow
Wowww
Smartest answer to every question is to open mindedly perceive everyone's perception.
Omg this was me so bad.. this philosophy broke me so bad .. there's a darker side to awareness that I felt by trying to understand oneness and that nothing exists and that world is a mirror and now I am aware of the root.. very grateful this video exists
The 2x4 story didn't make me feel confused, it made me feel pissed. So I guess I should watch for anger being a sign of gaslighting, thank you for that.
My abusers told me things like "you can never admit when you're wrong" funny enough, I don't have basically any memories of my abusers admitting they were wrong.
It makes so much sense to me now why I so often feel confused, empty, insecure when it comes to standing up for myself - confused, empty, insecure about my own perception of reality, not even knowing what I wanted to say or what just a moment ago seemed so clear and accurate within myself, like I forget things.
Now I know that I was simply suppressing my own perception of reality because of this insanely toxic mental abuse I've experienced all my life.
Oh I love, appreciate and am so proud of myself, that little girl who was so strong to endure this treatment all life, hiding herself in order to protect herself.
And I love and appreciate all of you beautiful people who went through this and are now uncovering the truth.
(being aware of that inner aspect of me trying to gaslight me while writing this)
What I experience as true liberation is being in heart consciousness as often as possible and being aware of the I am presence, that's when I feel complete and whole. Practicing to embody this state of perception and being more and more.
To all truth seekers out there, love you all 💖✨
And I appreciate you Teal!
Teal Swan, I have a new appreciation for your work. I find myself isolated and cut off from everyone, through no fault of my own. Gaslighting. I've seen this video before, but never really applied it to my own life. My Goodness, there's been a lot of it in my life. Still going on today, really. Not to be flirtatious, but it's great when Wisdom like this comes from a woman. It makes it all the more healing. Thanks for the free therapy sessions! I'll probably be a paying customer soon!
I need to get this off my chest in some kind of public manner, and I don't use Facebook or Twitter, so I'm posting on this amazing Teal video I watched to help myself move past my fury at this and now I'm so charged up with energy that I'm releasing it here, uhm don't mind me:
Humboldt County, California is full of gaslighting hippies who think spiritual bypassing is actual awakening. Even the non-hippies get caught up in it too and perpetuate the same toxic cycles. And then everyone complains about how everyone is sooooo "cool and groovy" and can't express real emotions, but then as soon as they end up in a conflict, they do the exact. same. thing. It's pathetic. "Spiritual" spaces are without doubt the most judgmental places I've ever been. I'm looking at you, too, Findhorn Ecovillage. Yeah, all of you, listen up: Walling off your consciousness so that it only contains DMT and Dirtwire and mushroom hunting is not awakening, it's denial. Refusing to allow expressions of negative emotions in yourself or anyone else is not "high vibe;" it's textbook emotional repression. You cannot repress your way into consciousness. You cannot deny your way into ultimate truth. Literally everyone is just you, so refusing to engage with anyone else's anger or pain is refusing to engage with your own. You cannot awaken by closing yourself off to the world; the entire world is you. Please, for the sake of yourselves and everyone else on this planet, grow up. Your lack of self-awareness and refusal to accept the full totality of yourselves is abusing people. Y'all aren't woke, you're just a bunch of cowardly drug addicts who like gardening.
PS to my comment - re injury to self trust…. Am healing my fear of not being capable to put forth my work in a way that it will be received. Because for a long time I felt it was my responsibility to awaken the gas lighters, and I felt like I had failed. This injury to self trust is the death of art! And the death of full true expression of us all.
Wow, Teal, thank you for this new level of insight. I have been drawing in gaslighting energy my entire life , until now. As I embrace self acceptance and trust, I recognize it. Asking about potential motive of the other has helped me discern what is mine and what is theirs as well as make a decision in that moment that honors me moving forward. And by not owning, engaging with or enabling the adaptive controlling strategy of gaslighting behavior of the other (conscious or not) perhaps also serves this other by leaving them with an opportunity to contemplate their own behavior and take personal responsibility for it …or not.
I'm crying, I'm in the thick of this now and am falling apart fast, its killing my spirit, my light ,my soul, and is so very painful.....I just cant seem to find a way out....so lost & so very alone....THANK YOY TEAL FOR UR BEAUTIFULLY DELIVERED TRUTH, AND GIVING ME SOMETHING I KNOW I CAN TRUST IS TRUE & REAL.....♀️🌬☮💜☯️🎶🕉♾
You can get out! I did, it’s not easy and I have a way to go but I am determined to sort my head out. I felt just like you, not long a go. I was confused, walked on eggshells and dreaded going home, now I have a safe home, I want to return to. I believe in you, hope you believe in yourself too. X
Precious episode! Thank you. I'm healing after years of gaslighting in my childhood and in a marriage. This is such a helpful guidance and support for me. ❤
💀 avoided this video so long I’ve been chronically gaslit but watching now I deeply realized how I ALSO GASLIT PEOPLE (compeltely unconsciously , I don’t do that on purpose) but that’s kind blowing!! I even have gaslit Teal with things I’ve said to her when I was her fb friend and posted on her wall. I sincerely had no idea. Wow I needed this awareness. I also need the awareness I’m heavily gaslit by so many 3D people in my life as well.
Incredible Teal, turning over stone after stone and lightening the burden of so many of us, lightening and dissolving! Im solid in understanding the abuse gaslighting of my family, never wavered longtime conscious, and now also compassionate of the whys and how it serves them. I have (for most part), stepped away. BUT I had not realized how injured my self trust has been, not re my history, but re my future and all I might be / am capable of! Long time comin, and embracing the perfect timing of the present. Thank you beautiful creature, bless you in every fabulous way.. Might there be a Part ll to this?!! (If not, I got this :)
You are the best psychologist on TH-cam and I’m absolutely serious about it. The things you say are very clear, logical. I’ve been gaslit by an abusive father for many years. Self doubt is constant and the search for truth is also constant. It makes you sad, angry, resentful, it destroys slowly but surely and physically too, in time. Developing self trust feels like making a balance between holding on but still keep being able to analyse things and your feelings.
Getting to the truth is so powerful and you've helped make that happen for me and for so many others out there!
Don’t let this get to your head but you’re totally awesome!!
You are light in dark places. Thank you dear, for your work.
This a life saver for someone who was raised by people who gaslit them. Beyond grateful to find this and learn about why I can't trust myself anymore. Thank you Teal 🌷
This is exactly what my ex of 7 years constantly did to me. But I always knew what I was saying was the truth it showed me just how twisted ans manipulative he was and honestly it proves how insane narcissists are while they pretend to be the victim
Awl wit words warts ,and den wit actions
I am so very glad and grateful for your videos. Despite what you go through publicly, I will always remember the analogy of the moon and the jail cell when everything seems hopeless. People tend to make themselves and others feel hopeless. Your videos offer the opportunity to find hope in pretty much all situations (even if I don't get the messages the first time). Thanks for your thoughts always Teal.
I was raised by a mentally/emotionally/spiritually unwell grandmother after both my parents died.
She gaslit me so bad at 9 years old and for my whole life I attracted so much abuse in my life and it has been hard to forgive this woman and myself. It has been so tough to trust myself and form healthy relationships cos of the spiritual attack I had on my life due to this woman's deep-seated hatred of myself and my late mother.
It has been a tough journey of learning how to believe in myself after so many years of being my own enemy. My voice and perception matters.
R.I.P to my puppy Roxie, she passed a week ago. She taught me how to love and fight for myself. For her, I will continue to heal and become more compassionate with myself.
This video made me realise that my Mum has always gaslighted me.. And it translated into me being a chameleon in my teens, and attracting abusive partners that gaslit me even more.. Thankfully, I am out of those relationships, I have boundaries in place with my Mum, and I am learning everyday to love and trust myself. Thank you Teal for explaining all of this so eloquently. I found this video from your latest instagram post, saying whichever word you see first is the video you need to watch. It really was: this has opened up a whole new understanding as to why I was in the patterns that I was in for much of my life.
thank you. Wow, I learned so much. Day by day, I am gradually learning to trust myself and my decisions. I've been raised by parents who constantly criticize or make me question decisions daily. I am learning to stand up for myself and my life now.
This is why critical thinking and being slow to conclude is so important
I'm a diagnosed BPD, participated in two sessions of DBT, it changed my life. It also alienated me from my family. In particular my son, who was alienated from me for 17yrs. He now tried to kill me, literally. His father is responsible for this child's life . I now live trying to forget having any relationship with him. I am working on this minute to minute, some days I'm over run with sadness, I embrace it. I find myself just wanting to be still. Waiting is my strength, but now, I dont have anyone . It's ok. I work on me. Only me and my relationship with this world. I feel alienated from it all. Once I was filled with desire for living, now, I just wait. Everyday I wait, for what? I have no idea
Moe Harrison stay strong....love yourself...live life...as per hindu dharma you get human birth form after about 108000 cycles...please go to a ISKCON temple and listen to sermons, it will help believe me, the holy book BHAGWAD GITA tells about life, work, service, karma, renunciation and freedom from cycle of life and death...stay strong sister
Thank you so much for this video, it has answered so many questions for me. You are truly knowledgeable, keep sharing. You will help millions
This is really powerful Teal. Thank you so much for making this video & helping us understand in such a clear & concise way what so many of us have lived & how it can be undermining the foundations of our success in life today. I’m going to be diving deeper into understanding how being gaslit as a child has led to the lack of self-confidence & trust that I sometimes/often feel when it comes to starting & following thru with new projects 💞♥️👏🏼🙏🏼
It’s the WORST form of abuse. If someone does this knowingly may God help them.
This stuff happens a lot in mainstream culture.
Just listen to mainstream music and observe the short-lived relationships of ''stars''
I mean look at what happened with Amber Heard And Johnny Depp.
Just one example of dysfunctional dynamics trying to function.
God bless everyone who looks within.
There's too much chaos outside of us.
Peace.
Thank you so very much Teal. This is exactly what I needed at this time. It helps me see and understand why I have always been on a lifetime search for truth and why I doubt myself so much.
I made a video few years ago including the "agree to disagree causes commitment to staying separate" point!! Hugely important point, please do make whole video about this topic soon❤️
Perfect time to release this I just started noticing family members doing this and myself doing this to others. And I am very great-full for a full explanation on this thank you Teal!
You truly are a gift to humanity. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!
This video has healed me. Thank you Teal. So much love
I'm 50, and this is first time I heard for gaslighting.. and it's all coming together like a puzzles.. thanks.
My Big Fat ex,
Did this to me, for 6yrs... And everyone wondered why I broke up with him, to never see him again. Took me a long time to realize what he was doing, and how it affected me. Still healing 🙏💓🕯️❣️👁️💗
Omg thank you so much for sharing this! This is a big piece of my journey on healing to understand 💕
This is exactly what the current chapter of my life is about (and probably always has been, but now Im aware of it). What you said about it helped me A LOT. Thanks Teal!
You’re such a great speaker. Not many care enough to be so articulate.🙏🏽❤️
Totally me im always so confused or conflicted and full of self doubt.. never know is gaslighting.. always thought that im only being open minded to all perception
Being gaslighted is horrific and can be something so hard to recover from. Validation and need to control one of the prime reason people gaslight. Great content!
omg. ty teal for mentioning borderline- "leaving you in a state of confusion" basically why I clicked here, although I wasn't sure how it connected to gaslighting. its gaslighting oneself !
I like the way you explain this. Connecting gaslighting with BPD, I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone explain it that way. You have major insight that I resonate with!
You are amazing Teal, I love you.
Your examples make complex issues soooo much easier to understand. Thank you
A few days ago I thought "I should ask teal to make a video about gaslighting"
Thank you ❤
I really judged you incorrectly for a long time this was so powerful ! thank you
To trust yourself without sticking strongly to your perceptions, can be done by trusting yourself as an informational algorithm. Trust that you always make a good perception based on what you've experienced. Should what you have seen be biased, leading to a biased perception, know that you cannot know this, but that openness allows you to shift your perception when better information arrives. Trust yourself as a good algorithm, with an ever-changing state.
i have never felt so validated before that i'm not crazy and that my memories are real. thank you thank you thank you. only half way through the video and already you have highlighted and described everything i've been trying to make sense of for the last 5 years of my life. the internal gaslighting especially. i was also diagnosed with borderline personality disorder about a yr and a half ago so when you mentioned that my jaw literally dropped like i had to pause the video and just stare in awe for a second. this video is helping me make sense of my reality for the first time ever. i was attacked by the boy i was "dating" 5 yrs ago in a public setting where there was witnesses and repercussions for his actions. even after being validated by witnesses and finding out that we had a shared reality of what happened to me, i still to this day don't trust my own memories only because the boy who attacked me tells me it never happened. i even question whether the witnesses were real or if i just completely imagined those interactions. consequently i think i've become a victim of my own internal gaslighting ever since. i don't believe my own reality surrounding such a traumatic event in my teenage years, and it leaks over into ever aspect of my life. ever minor issue i face now i convince myself i've imagined. but like you also described, i still have this other perception of things where i'm aware i've been gaslit but even still i convince myself that i'm making that up as well in some lame attempt to validate my own lies. what i know to be true completely contradicts what i feel and believe to be true. possible TW for self harm, but i've dealt with self harm since i was only 10 yrs old, but in the last 5 yrs since i was assaulted it has gotten so much worse and I feel like i finally understand why. Everything I have ever been through and every pain i have ever felt, i find a way to invalidate. no matter how much mental anguish something my cause me, i always find a way to convince myself it isn't real and that i just want sympathy or pity. The only pain that I cannot find a way to deny myself of is physical pain. It's like If i cut myself deep enough, I finally can feel a pain that I know is real. Nobody not even myself can take that away from me because the proof is on my own skin. I've never ever realized any of this until the last couple of days and I've been doing a lot of thinking and I feel like I might not be totally crazy for the first time in a long time. Thank you for making this video and helping me to understand my reality a little bit better than I did before.
All I could think about during this was how my ex boyfriends whole family did this to him, on a constant level every day. Until one day he snapped and literally became insane and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. It was horrible to see what happened to him. The medication helped the insane talking but with them he became real quiet and really different. The worst part is that his family wouldn't change and so the psychosis came back. It was really painful seeing how they kept up the abuse even though he was sick. It's been a few years but I still can't over it somehow. I did what I could to help him but he couldn't step away from them.
You've seen people act truly evil, how could you expect yourself to get over it easily? Witnessing that would be enough to give you vicarious PTSD
hands down the most accurate and thorough explanation of gaslighting I have ever heard. Your scope of understanding on this topic is once again astounding. thank you for your work Teal. Forever grateful to you for your wise and grounded voice to n this vastly complex Earth experience. U are truly a guiding light!🙌🙏✨
Year 6, 7 of healing this month was a few steps back one forward. Thank you it's a process.
I was listening again for comfort and refocusing when depression flared.
I feel more confidence some days. Doubt and distrust of self flare. I have to feel the feelings I wasn't feeling or going thru motions. Some days the path is clear some days unclear. They made me refuse to trust myself only when they caused hurt I couldn't function. I still don't function well in learning self care for 40 to 60. It's overwhelming. I liked the article on shame it's healing me.
Thank you Teal. I stay close here. keep listening stay on the creative path.
WOW 😯!! Thank you for sharing your knowledge! ❤️
I don't try anymore, I keep quiet because saying anything at all will certainly cause conflict or gaslighting. 😐 This really helped me find the solution and the source to the problem, thank you.
Teal is amazing absolutely brilliant!
THANK YOU TEAAAAAAL!!!! 💜💜💜🙏🤗🤗🤗 I'm crying now!!!! Good crying.. letting things out. 💜💜💜
Teal you are a blessing to humanity! you've helped me develop into a healthier woman. Without you and your teachings I'd be slapped into adulthood with little way of escaping the brokenness and the delusion I've been under. Reality super painful but is still better than living a walking gaslight. Truth has destroyed everything I knew about myself and my upbringing at the same time cleared the path to living the best and most joyful existence in this life alone. You truly are a blessing!!
Gaslighting helps my ex to keep me hanging around as opposed to finding another.
So he will spin so many stories and the way that I find helpful is to not attach to any of what comes out of his mouth and carry on with my life because I've told him verbally and clearly that we are just f.r.i.e.n.d.s and nothing more🙂.
According to him we are still together.
My mother is a sicopath she destroyed so much but still walks around like a little angel
And she teachs all my sibblings to never question her and gave evryone else the feeling of guilt instead of herself. Till today she can not understand what she has done
Omg she is a genius! There's so many levels to this I had no idea
So this gaslighting is really F** up. I saw somebody do this to someone from close by. Never new that there was a name for it.
Thank you for sharing🙏