Thanks for this, Dr. Nicole! My question is this...is there any kind of resource video or transcript that outlines what a typical confrontation conversation between two people might look like when they are both utilizing the coping mechanisms for trauma bonding? I’m interested in seeing HOW one would actually speak these things to a partner/friend and move forward from there, including if you did end up having to step away from the conversation.
Do you have advice for how to respectfully end a friendship you've outgrown? I feel very guilty springing it on my friend 'out of nowhere' since nothing has changed between us -- all of the change that makes us no longer compatible has happened within myself.
Thank you for this! Freud called it the "repetition compulsion" -the urge to repeat the same patterns we learned or were shown in childhood. It is automatic and unconscious. Thank you for helping make what is unconscious, conscious. I love your work.
Thank you so much! It's been years but I've picked up journaling again just so I could do this. I didn't even realize. As time goes on, I find myself naturally gravitating towards the things that will bring about healing. You have been a part of my journey, giving me words of wisdom when I needed it the most.
I have been working on my trauma bonding for three years with a therapist. And your videos from TH-cam. All I have to say is it was hard !! and it was slow, and I had to learn patience, I had to give myself more compassion than I ever have. I was constantly embracing joy, instead of giving it away to others. I ended an unhealthy relationship that I was in for 10 years, it’s been three years now without him. And now I’m part of a group where I can use my shamanistic Tribal Ancestors medicine to help heal others,. In A group setting, we’re we are Equal. And now it feels like I’ve done 90% of the work and I’ve only got 10% left. Thank you for all the videos, thank you for all the time you give, and thank you for sharing about holding space, I’ve also been doing that under the tutelage of a Buddhist monk.
These are literally what I was trying to convey to my husband about what work it takes now to have a relationship with me as a former co-dependent. Thank you for this help. I look forward to the shame video!
I’m so grateful for you! You’re an amazing teacher. I can’t wait to read your book!! I get so much out of these short videos already. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and your kind presence.🙏🏼💛
Absolutely amazing. So inspiring. I would love to know more about healthy reactions, healthy conversations or healthy consequences actions or talks to have with your partner after he or she crosses a boundary or Scorsese’s multiply boundaries.
just wanted to say thank you for working hard on these videos and talking about the right content to help a more current society. my twin flame and I really learned alot from you when we were together 💙
Thank you for this. Exactly the process I need to have right now. Thank you dr. Nicole. You are sent by the universe I just saw your channel exactly when I needed to hear the message you delivered.
Amazing video Dr! #3 is so important to me and maybe to many others, but no one asks that question! All these steps apply to me. Thank you for teaching this step by step video to learn and practice!🌺😘
I thought I was unhealed. It appears I was doing some of the steps already without knowing I was. After a recent trigger I took space to not react and did a meditation. Even during meditation the trigger was so high that my visualisation was through the roof, scattered and intense. Even the dreams during that night were too much.
I love this. Like begets like even in trauma. I felt I began to emerge from this but my wife would never seem to come along. We are now divorcing and it's heartbreaking as she is fueled with disdain and blame, in the name of boundaries. But boundaries are for you. Not to punish someone else. Just more trauma. I loved her more than anything. Releasing her has been so hard and still so healing for me as I move forward. 💚
Thanks Nicole, very appreciated. Any information is good.... My favourite of your videos is the one on disassociation /disconnection coping mechanisms, it really made sense and she'd light and much self understanding and others have experienced this as it is not the immediate flight, fight or freeze survival mechanisms. I first saw you on Met Robbins Channel ,she fantastic too.
These are wonderful videos bringing awareness to the public of trauma and healing, thank you for your great work. In my journey of healing I found EFT (emotional freedom technique) so powerful in being to move through and change these patterns rapidly and very successfully. I then began to train in this field and it has made such an enormous difference to the clients that come. Instead of taking years with normal counselling this deep somatic work took just months. It has been life changing. Is this an area you have explored in your research?
0:18 kitty chimes in “pet/pet parents!” 😸 thank you for this video. I’ve watched the other videos on trauma bonds and failed to see how it applied to me, but this one...yep!
Wish I knew about all of this before my recent relationship. Unfortunately lost someone I dearly valued, but we both walked away with things we both need to work on. Thanks for sharing this!
I am really love your videos and how you made them very simple 🥺💚 Please tell me what kind of camera and Microphone that you used to made your videos 🙏 your videos helped me a lot thank you 🥺💚🙏 I study psychology and you are my idol I really want to start a TH-cam channel like you 🙏 I appreciate any advice from you💜🧡💛❤💚💙 Much much love from Iraq 🧡✋
Any recommendations on whether I should try to heal with my parents ? They were and are totally emotionally absent. Never woke up and did the work at all they were too busy. And now there's nothing there.
I really appreciate this video thank you! It makes more sense to me for a variety of relationships that didn't (or may not) fall into that "narcissist/abuse" category that seems to be dominating most of the trauma binding videos. Some of that has applied to me, but not all. I'm very curious how you might suggest some of this be applied to dating? I find the trauma bonding patterns I have can get kicked up in scenarios with new people or potential partners. And I want to address things openly and seriously as you suggest, but I also feel (fear?) it's too much to soon to apply, or expect, an intimate conversation with someone in an as-yet undefined relationship. Any thoughts on how to speak authentically during trauma triggering in dating without immediately trying to bond in order to not feel the anxiety? (Which I think is a trauma instinct I have, as well, haha!). Thank you.
Hi thank you I have a question. most advice tells us to leave the relationships and go no contact, of course this could mean leaving lots of people in your life! I see you do not suggest this and instead Take an approach of communication end conscious awareness. What if however the other parties are not able/willing to be part of this process?
I’d really like to watch, but this video is too busy for me visually... the list in the background, your contact info in the bottom left corner, the social media links, and the captions I cannot turn off... it is too much for my overloaded nervous system. 😟
Ma'am...my unhealed wounds of rejection.abondenment,trust,betrayel,low self worth etc. Are attracting situations and people who reinforce nd mirror my wounds back to me.😭😭😖😖...now i m completely exhausted ..nd i m hving suicidal thoughts...i hope u can understand...ma'am plzzz help me out to heal my wounds. I'll be very thankful to you🙏🙏🙏🙏...I don't know the right way to heal from these wounds...plzzz reply ma'am🙏🙏🙏🙏
Unfortunately, this is NOT good advice for a person trauma bonded to a narcissist. Sharing this kind of information with an abuser only gives them more ammo to abuse !
#SelfHealers, what else do you want to know about trauma bonds -Nicole PS, as always thanks for watching!
Thanks for this, Dr. Nicole! My question is this...is there any kind of resource video or transcript that outlines what a typical confrontation conversation between two people might look like when they are both utilizing the coping mechanisms for trauma bonding? I’m interested in seeing HOW one would actually speak these things to a partner/friend and move forward from there, including if you did end up having to step away from the conversation.
types of trauma bonds and how to recognize your own
How do I tap into the part of me that won’t let me heal?
Do you have advice for how to respectfully end a friendship you've outgrown? I feel very guilty springing it on my friend 'out of nowhere' since nothing has changed between us -- all of the change that makes us no longer compatible has happened within myself.
It is possible to be with a lover who are going thought the dark night of the soul?
Thank you for the captions! I’m deaf and it’s so nice to have accessible mental health resources :)
Thank you for this! Freud called it the "repetition compulsion" -the urge to repeat the same patterns we learned or were shown in childhood. It is automatic and unconscious. Thank you for helping make what is unconscious, conscious. I love your work.
Thank you so much for talking about HEALING trauma bonding! Too few do this, so your wholesome video on the topic is a biiiiig help 💗
Thank you so much! It's been years but I've picked up journaling again just so I could do this. I didn't even realize. As time goes on, I find myself naturally gravitating towards the things that will bring about healing. You have been a part of my journey, giving me words of wisdom when I needed it the most.
I have been working on my trauma bonding for three years with a therapist. And your videos from TH-cam.
All I have to say is it was hard !! and it was slow, and I had to learn patience, I had to give myself more compassion than I ever have.
I was constantly embracing joy, instead of giving it away to others.
I ended an unhealthy relationship that I was in for 10 years, it’s been three years now without him.
And now I’m part of a group where I can use my shamanistic Tribal Ancestors medicine to help heal others,.
In A group setting, we’re we are Equal.
And now it feels like I’ve done 90% of the work and I’ve only got 10% left.
Thank you for all the videos, thank you for all the time you give, and thank you for sharing about holding space, I’ve also been doing that under the tutelage of a Buddhist monk.
I actually understand! That's so huge!!
These are literally what I was trying to convey to my husband about what work it takes now to have a relationship with me as a former co-dependent. Thank you for this help. I look forward to the shame video!
I am also very much interested in the topic of Shame!!!
I’m so grateful for you! You’re an amazing teacher. I can’t wait to read your book!! I get so much out of these short videos already. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and your kind presence.🙏🏼💛
I am so happy you exist! The holistic psychologist changed my life in many many ways. Thank you
Absolutely amazing. So inspiring. I would love to know more about healthy reactions, healthy conversations or healthy consequences actions or talks to have with your partner after he or she crosses a boundary or Scorsese’s multiply boundaries.
Love how intuitive she is 💜🖤💜🖤
just wanted to say thank you for working hard on these videos and talking about the right content to help a more current society. my twin flame and I really learned alot from you when we were together 💙
Thank you for this. Exactly the process I need to have right now. Thank you dr. Nicole. You are sent by the universe I just saw your channel exactly when I needed to hear the message you delivered.
I love your videos, Dr Nicole. Thanks so much for doing them in such an amazing and easy way to understand them.💜
Amazing video Dr! #3 is so important to me and maybe to many others, but no one asks that question! All these steps apply to me. Thank you for teaching this step by step video to learn and practice!🌺😘
I'm a new subscriber. I love the way you represent your information. Thank you for the hard work. 🙏
I thought I was unhealed. It appears I was doing some of the steps already without knowing I was. After a recent trigger I took space to not react and did a meditation. Even during meditation the trigger was so high that my visualisation was through the roof, scattered and intense. Even the dreams during that night were too much.
I love this. Like begets like even in trauma. I felt I began to emerge from this but my wife would never seem to come along. We are now divorcing and it's heartbreaking as she is fueled with disdain and blame, in the name of boundaries. But boundaries are for you. Not to punish someone else. Just more trauma. I loved her more than anything. Releasing her has been so hard and still so healing for me as I move forward. 💚
Thanks Nicole, very appreciated.
Any information is good....
My favourite of your videos is the one on disassociation /disconnection coping mechanisms, it really made sense and she'd light and much self understanding and others have experienced this as it is not the immediate flight, fight or freeze survival mechanisms.
I first saw you on Met Robbins Channel ,she fantastic too.
Thank you for your kind energy.
AWESOME advice from each video. Thank you.
This is so true! Just Subbed. Thank you so much for this channel.😊
These are wonderful videos bringing awareness to the public of trauma and healing, thank you for your great work. In my journey of healing I found EFT (emotional freedom technique) so powerful in being to move through and change these patterns rapidly and very successfully. I then began to train in this field and it has made such an enormous difference to the clients that come. Instead of taking years with normal counselling this deep somatic work took just months. It has been life changing. Is this an area you have explored in your research?
0:18 kitty chimes in “pet/pet parents!” 😸 thank you for this video. I’ve watched the other videos on trauma bonds and failed to see how it applied to me, but this one...yep!
You are a lifesaver, Nicole! How is this content free? Just pre-ordered your book! Are there any other ways to support you / your business?
Thank you, you are amazing and have great healing energy 🙏
Please do more on trauma bonding...please... 🙏 that was perfect thank you
Thank you Dear Doctor👌💐😊😊
💛💫 love all ur videos...I just started my tarot channel a while ago I know how much work it is, sending good vibes thank you💫💛
This was a very good video. Your book will be good. :)
You are glowing!!! Thank you for this ☺️
Wish I knew about all of this before my recent relationship. Unfortunately lost someone I dearly valued, but we both walked away with things we both need to work on. Thanks for sharing this!
Thank you so much for this it has been very helpful in my relationship 🙏🌈🦄
Thank you and God bless you 👍💯👂
Eagerly await everyone of your videos! 🙂💞
Can you do a video on how to discover our true potential in life?. Hope you will consider this.
Woww i love your videos! Damn helpful they are!
Many of us do not have a friend or family member.
I am really love your videos and how you made them very simple 🥺💚
Please tell me what kind of camera and Microphone that you used to made your videos 🙏 your videos helped me a lot thank you 🥺💚🙏
I study psychology and you are my idol I really want to start a TH-cam channel like you 🙏
I appreciate any advice from you💜🧡💛❤💚💙
Much much love from Iraq 🧡✋
I heard Clarke. 😻😻. Thank you so much for your wonderful videos.
Wow- didn’t know safety/what is safe is important in any and all relationships
Thank you for this! 🙏🌸
Thank you for this❤️
Major keys right here! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Thank you, needed to see this
Any recommendations on whether I should try to heal with my parents ? They were and are totally emotionally absent. Never woke up and did the work at all they were too busy. And now there's nothing there.
I really appreciate this video thank you! It makes more sense to me for a variety of relationships that didn't (or may not) fall into that "narcissist/abuse" category that seems to be dominating most of the trauma binding videos. Some of that has applied to me, but not all.
I'm very curious how you might suggest some of this be applied to dating? I find the trauma bonding patterns I have can get kicked up in scenarios with new people or potential partners. And I want to address things openly and seriously as you suggest, but I also feel (fear?) it's too much to soon to apply, or expect, an intimate conversation with someone in an as-yet undefined relationship. Any thoughts on how to speak authentically during trauma triggering in dating without immediately trying to bond in order to not feel the anxiety? (Which I think is a trauma instinct I have, as well, haha!). Thank you.
Really valuable thank you stay blessed x
Thank you!! 🙏❣
Hi thank you I have a question. most advice tells us to leave the relationships and go no contact, of course this could mean leaving lots of people in your life! I see you do not suggest this and instead Take an approach of communication end conscious awareness. What if however the other parties are not able/willing to be part of this process?
Yes...I get what you are saying, narcissists will not work with you in this process. They will use your needs for safety against you.
Thank you so much!
Thank you.
I’d really like to watch, but this video is too busy for me visually... the list in the background, your contact info in the bottom left corner, the social media links, and the captions I cannot turn off... it is too much for my overloaded nervous system. 😟
#2 and #3 are only possible if you actually have others in your life. So I’ll just scratch those from the list.
You should know that your number in the description is incorrect/doesn't match the video!
I looooooooooooooove you!!! Nicole
Thank you
Ma'am...my unhealed wounds of rejection.abondenment,trust,betrayel,low self worth etc. Are attracting situations and people who reinforce nd mirror my wounds back to me.😭😭😖😖...now i m completely exhausted ..nd i m hving suicidal thoughts...i hope u can understand...ma'am plzzz help me out to heal my wounds. I'll be very thankful to you🙏🙏🙏🙏...I don't know the right way to heal from these wounds...plzzz reply ma'am🙏🙏🙏🙏
Yes
It’s complicated...
Thanks.
the link to the book isn't complete
Unfortunately, this is NOT good advice for a person trauma bonded to a narcissist. Sharing this kind of information with an abuser only gives them more ammo to abuse !
I wanna start a band called Trauma Bonding, and make songs about how my mom didnt love me.
I just can't trust anymore
Start within. Can you trust yourself?
U need to have a better camera ... picture is not very clear
what are awrnesss
- we repeat the relationship pattern.
-
😥
❤️
❤❤❤
F-/ck I'm messed up for life.
But when you’re a man, you can’t talk about how you feel