Here's What It FEELS LIKE When Your Nervous System Is Dysregulated
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
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Dysregulation is a core symptom of Complex-PTSD. If you had a rough childhood, you may have thought these symptoms were your fault -- personal failings that you're ashamed you haven't changed yet. Once you know the normal signs that childhood trauma has impacted you, you can drop the guilt and learn to adopt workarounds that help you re-regulate and solve life's problems.
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I did not know i was experiencing dysregulation until I watched your videos. It has been extremely difficult navigating through life the past several years, but I will be much kinder and more patient with myself going forward with this information. Thank you. ❤️ 😊
Yes, learning to be kinder and more patient with myself is something I'm working on, too. The information here is good to help me do that
Dear Blissful Canuck, treating yourself with kindness is truly a comforting ✨️ blanket of nurture dealing with the curative healing nature.
Another very effective reconditioning is this.
Light a candle in a cozy space where lights are dimmed. In a compfy chair, by a fireside, a hot tub or out in Nature near waterside or perhaps a pastural setting or vista view.
Anywhere where solace and a peaceful place surrenders a safe quiet haven.
Come into this place knowing within you is everything you need. Nothing can separate you from the all-in-all that has been present all along.
Here, you may play soft music in the background or be listening to birds above, water and waves, or the wind in the willows.
Let the present become your gift as you breathe in deeply the life given breath.
Becme aware as a gentle tranquil calm slowly welcomes your senses...remind yourself to let it be the breath that guides this moment.
Here, the recreation of the knowing healer dwells within.
You were borne with a belonging long before you were born.
There is a wellbeing created as your guided inner self begins to emerges to meet and greet your world with a strength of newfound wholeness.
Blessing as your will leads the way to fall in love with the beautiful person you are. ♡
@@maryatvan Mary that was beautiful. May I copy/paste and send it to friends?
Me too, although I knew something was seriously non-regular!
I could tell I was the only one white-knuckling it, screaming on the inside while people tried to hold casual conversation with me....sheesh, what a nightmare.
I can relate to being emotionally flat and only trying to contort my face into the appropriate responses, but not feeling connected to it.
Incapable of a genuine laugh or smile.
Its what we were trained to do, to deny / ignore our true feelings and emotions, because the narcissist wouldnt allow us to have our own feelings, it was too inconvenient for the selfish bastards. They just wanted to dominate us and traumatize us and not hear about how that felt.
Meditation, good diet, exercise, nature - sunshine and fresh air, doing things you enjoy, good sleep, good company, self-love - self-empathy, learning to see yourself once removed, how would you feel about seeing a poor animal with its leg caught in a trap - thats us! Be gentle and kind to yourself. We have been royally fucked by our dickhead parents and siblings etc, but people are too busy and self-involved to care, and their caring isnt enough anyway, we have to care and be there for ourselves now, and do everything our intuition tells us is the right thing.
@@talkingdoc
Dear Critty Crumb ♡ yes you may copy and paste this as you like.
I love when your shared Spirit lights the way.
A major sign that I'm dysregulated is an urge to run away. I have the ability of acting "normal", but inside I feel this need of running away, even I start making crazy plans in my head on how can I leave to another house or another city...
Same, but I wouldn't call the plans on moving to another house/city 'crazy'. It's probably understandable.
@@wintertontoday I described them as 'crazy' because those are not really plans, but impulse driven thoughts. For example, if I had an argument with my partner, I start thinking who can take care of my pet while I run to the bus station so he can't find me when he gets home. That might sound reasonable, except my partner is not violent/abusive in any way. I can recognize now that these signs of imminent danger my brain is sending me are false, they are an echo of past trauma, and running out like a scared deer could, indeed, get me into a risky situation.
ditto argh
triggers flight o flight
I do this, too
At 64, I figured out this week why I crave being alone & doing everything by myself. No matter who I'm around, I still feel like I'm being judged, I don't think others understand constantly feeling like you're about to be blamed, shamed or minimized for your efforts. It's exhausting!
I finally was disabled because while a dedicated employee, I just couldn't cope with those I worked with. I should have been accommodated as anyone else with a disability. If just allowed to do my job, I needed no supervision & wasn't ever lazy or a time waster. I was fired more than once for working while supposed to be on break. Once because others took longer to do my job on my days off! I'm unable to accept poor performance in myself or others & I'm still working on feeling good enough. Thirty years of antidepressants were a waste, much of talk therapy wasn't much better. I only survived due to my tenacity to do what others thought I couldn't.
That's me
Me too!
The feeling like you are constantly watched
I feel this
I think you have been watching me all my life,wow! This is giving me so many epiphanies about my health, from my chronic hypertension to the tinnitus and vertigo and now chronic kidney disease! It feels like I've had a giant boil, or abscess growing inside all these years!
I’m a self employed carpenter and have been working outside for over 30 years. Most of my injuries came from the high level of distraction of a disregulated state from what was going on at home, or on the job site. It was always from dumb details that were missed that I would never miss. Almost all of these instances were from working for highly narcissistic clients and contractors. Being raised in a narcissistic family system, I’m entirely to triggered by these manipulative situations despite decades of therapists and coaching. I am far better now than I ever was but if I see to many red flags I’m out. I’ll turn down work that I desperately need and terminate contracts when I see this kind of abuse being directed at me. I have it in my contract. I treat everyone with great respect and consideration, I will not be abused, threatened or disrespected. Life is painfully short. I will not give a second of what time I have left to this of shenanigans if can help it.
Wow way to go!
That's fascinating- I'm so glad that you made the connection and have drawn strong boundaries to avoid having triggering people in your life. It's something to aspire to.
I have a new business in a related industry and I'm going to try so hard to follow your policy. It's so smart to do this.
I agree & admire you for the strength to have this stance, our mental health is far more important than the money. I believe that God honors this & makes our way prosperous, without abuse & damage to our health, as we use our gifts for his glory! Keep strong my friend! Bless you & the work of your hands, while keeping your sanity in tact!
@@DustyTowne it’s not foolproof, and I have a lot more to learn and implement. But being curiously relentless has gotten me far.
As a psychotherapist, I am so happy to hear you explain that meds are not necessarily the answer. There are ways to heal from CPTSD without chemical dependency, which can lead to other issues. You are doing great work! Cheers to you!
Yes! As a Fellow psychotherapist/trauma specialist I feel the same. Thank you! You’re not only helping others heal but your own beautiful soul as well ❤
Yes! Meds only help for a period of time & sometimes they don’t help… then changes become nec & mixtures with other meds & additions & cleansing from all, etc… I’m not willing to endure the side effects & you never know how any med will make you feel.🙏💪The AMA is taught to write an Rx for every ailment.
feel awesome n alive off meds. dont know why we think its ok to carelessly give out not only ssris but antipsychotics and benzos
Their are many ways to get through CPTSD without meds & way to get off those meds very quickly without withdrawal. I went through some very hard times & never thought I could ever feel better but after one session it was like the weight/pain from all this bad stuff went away.
The meds as a patient are pushed sooooo heavy and when you let them know the meds are making you worse you are told you are not taking them or in my case they increase them or come up with a cocktail of meds to fix another issue the previous med makes worse only to finally be finally herd and placed in dbt it’s been a long battle but making progress the system here in FL is poor
When I’m dysregulated I freeze and mentally check out; I use to have serious panic attacks but fortunately as I’ve gotten older and processed some things those have stopped but I still have the complete overwhelm and freezing up.
I direct everything internally as I was taught as a child that I was the ‘bad’ one. So I don’t vent on others, I beat myself up instead.
You are not alone
-Cara@TeamFairy
This sounds like I wrote it! It’s key that we change our self talk to ourselves- easier said than done but we are not alone in this.(thank you for sharing😊)
I could of written this myself
I can relate to this.
Accurate description of why I need a few hours or days to understand how I feel about something.
I often seem to need many months to process things. It can be very difficult especially when I am trying to work through things in therapy… but there’s so much that is not available to me.
They should teach this in elementary schools, mandatory for all. I grieve all that I could have accomplished if only I had known this 25 years ago. Since my childhood PTSD was correctly diagnosed and treated, my life has become immeasurably better.
That's truly the sad part, isn't it?
Nothing is wasted. You were lucky to figure it out.
I think the problem is two-fold: A. a lot of these issues and the solutions or therapy to/for them, weren't known 30-50 years ago. B. a lot of professionals
therapists, etc., aren't as educated on them as they should be. Diagnoses can be missed, ignored, misdiagnosed, for years or decades. It happens all the time.
I agree! We have health classes, but we don’t talk about mental health enough! Mindfulness and these kinds of things could easily be added into science and health
What treatment? Therapy just retriggers and goes over stuff already known. What actually heals? Thanks 🙏! And happy for you that you realized some things younger in life 🫂 🕊. Things have changed a lot in 30 years, like attitudes, understanding, internet access to knowledge.
I wake up disregulated EVERY single day!! I would’nt even know how it feels to NOT be disregulated... Maybe that’s why I isolate myself. ( Having no family or friends, days go by without speaking to anybody but my cat ) The torture never ends. 🙄
Ah! It's a pity we don't live closer. We could visit each other and watch a movie while not talking to anyone but your cat, and both feel less isolated but still alone enough to cope. Maybe there's someone close...
I know exactly how you feel because I'm the same .
@@nephilimshammer9567 a lovely cat came into my harden every day and it took my heart, she was beautiful, I fed her not knowing if she was a stray, this was a couple of years ago now, she waits for me every morning BUT she won’t let me stroke her, she’s very disregulated too, very nervous, it’s such a pity.
I agree and am right there with you. Felt like I wrote what you said. Be strong friend.
Nothing like a Cat to soothe the soul
Sorry. One more comment to add. When I was psychotic my reactions to everything were wildly off. I would laugh at the most awful things. This was very damaging socially. My PTSD was so bad I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. I don't think this is talked about enough. I think for those of us who were abused as small children it's very very hard to ever find regulation. There was never a moment in my childhood I felt safe. So I had no foundation to work from. Now that I am finally functioning better after many years of work I still can only feel relaxed for moments at a time, but at least now I have something to build on. No matter how sick you become there is always a way back. If I made it anyone can.
So good to hear that you made it as well as you did. It is so very challenging. I (we) have D.I.D and were never, ever safe either and we are doing our best to recover as much as I (we) possibly can. Our system sometimes goes through rapid switching when too stressed or when a new part has been discovered and repressed memories are first returning. It can be very challenging, especially when parts that have severe mind control/programming that was installed by the trafficking ring come out. We were adopted at 14 months into a family of organized crime that ran a child trafficking ring and we were trafficked from age 2 into 20's. We have come a long way and have dismantled most of it now, thank goodness. It was so scary, especially the self destruct programming that they layered all through our system which was supposed to go off if we ever remembered everything or if we broke our silence, which we did.
@@annemurphy8074 l am so sorry you went through that, l hope you are safe now and deprogramming. May the Divine bless you!
@@timmywitty1432 Thank you, we are safe and well along in our healing process now.
@@annemurphy8074 I’m sorry you went through this. You are so strong! You can literally write a book. May GOD continue to shower you with an abundance of love.
@@theanonymoushelpline7248 Thank you. Actually, a book was just published in March but it's in French. A journalist for CBC Canada did a story on our journey with D.I.D and the biggest publishing company in Quebec saw it, tracked down the journalist and asked if we would work together to do a whole book. So our D.I.D system worked with the same journalist that did the original story to get it done, it took 2 years. Now in talks for a possible movie or documentary. It's incredible because we didn't go looking for any of this but it's making a difference, shining a light on an important subject and helping other's. The hell we lived through is being used for good.❤
I'm so glad you mentioned the link between trauma and ADHD symptoms, because I was totally unaware and it makes so much sense
Gabor Maté speaks lots about it.
This.
Autism, ADHD, BPD, bipolar, NPD, sociopathy. The symptoms for all seem to overlap 🤔 maybe it's just trauma ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@@Iisrupacthat could be true in the cases where there is trauma. But there are many kids getting diagnosed with these things who come from safe and loving families.
@@MyMerryMessyGermanLiferoot cause of ADHD can vary widely and can be intertwined with other issues from what I've read but to answer your question with a question, are those kids raised in a safe and loving family spending much time on blue screens?
I think I spent my entire teenage years and twenties dysregulated.
Same.... 😪❣
SAME
💛🕯💝
That's me
How do I stop?
I’ve never felt so heard in my life! Thank you.
Thank you for watching! Glad you are here.
Nika@TeamFairy
On protein. When I first had my psychotic break (the ultimate disregulation) I felt my whole body turning to concrete. I knew with complete certainty that whatever was happening to me would be permanent if I didn't break out of it somehow. I learned later that I was becoming catatonic. The only way I can describe it is that it felt like a door was closing that would never open again. At that moment I had the strongest instinct I've ever had to ground myself. My brain screamed at me to ground. Everything was red tinged. I grabbed a handful of chopped nuts and started eating them like a lunatic. After the third handful the door stopped closing and my body started unclenching. I have no doubt that those nuts saved me. My psychosis lasted many years but I never felt that horrible closing down feeling again. Now that I am recovered I think about that experience often.
I'm so glad you made it through back to this side.
@@annemurphy8074 thank you for your kind support, Anne. I have not experienced this, I was encouraging the original commenter. 💓 blessed be in this new year😁
How frightening and you made it through!! I believe fleeing into psychosis or a catatonic state is an attempt to stay safe, an attempt to cope when overwhelm is far too much and cannot be coped with. It's a form of protection.
@@k8eekatt Oops, that reply was meant for the original comment. I'll fix it.
@@annemurphy8074 Thank you for your kind words Anne! I think your description of the reason for psychosis is fairly accurate. It's certainly a byproduct of complete flooding and a desperate attempt to protect a disintegrating psyche. Unfortunately, it's like a person who, to escape from a hungry tiger, jumps off a 1,000 foot cliff into the ocean. You've escaped the tiger but now you are lost at sea. Psychosis is deadly dangerous and most don't ever make it out. Or they end up so heavily medicated for life it doesn't matter. The first three years were the worst. I was a very successful young adult when I had my break, ready to start my career of choice. After my break, all these years later I'm still just a shadow of what I could have been. But I don't care. It's like being back from 17 years in hell. My mental state was so horrifying for so long I'm just beyond grateful that the years of work paid off and I'm largely sane, functional and working again. It feels like heaven. I hate to overshare here but I know I'm not the only one with PTSD bad enough to create long term psychosis. I'm hoping that someone reads this and finds it helpful.
I was in my friend's wedding years ago and while other people would have felt excited and enjoyed the getting ready experience etc., I was full of fear and self consciousness. I'm glad I went through with it but I was hella dysregulated and was in the middle of addiction at the time.
An example of me trying to make sure my facial expression was matching my feelings and the situation is when my friend who I'd been out of touch with for years told me her dad is paralyzed due to an accident at work. I was completely and genuinely shocked but I remember agonizing over whether my expressions were appropriate.
Yes, people have told me they could read me like a book. My facial expressions, so I try real hard to try to make sure I don’t let them read me. I put on another face.
I did not realize until now that dysregulation was something with which I was struggling. When I was raised, I was often told I was too sensitive, or received a lot of disapproval for showing strong emotions. The emotions never went away, but I just learned to cover what I was feeling behind a mask of mildness. However, there have been many moments during particularly triggering situations where it felt like I had no control whatsoever. I could plan out how I wanted to respond to someone in a very logical way, but as soon as I entered the situation itself, all of that flew out the window. It usually resulted in a lot of shame and guilt over how I had acted. It felt like and still feels like I just continually failed at managing my emotions whereas others seemed to do so naturally without great thought or effort. Not to mention that the rest of the time, if my emotions aren't flaring into the stratosphere, I often feel numb unless I'm frustrated or lonely. Instructions to listen to my emotions and be in tune with my body are always confusing because it's like telling someone to listen to music when their headphones are out of battery.
I've learned what things make me hit the freeze fight or flee reaction and to leave those situations that couldn't be avoided. A lot of time people with issues like this are treated like they're just cowards that run away from things instead of confronting them or its all in their head. Well sometimes pushing yourself to stay in a situation that you intuit you need to leave you can black out of normal functions and melt down.
Did I write this comment? 😳 I relate to this so much.
Yep same
So, I’ve known that I have CPTSD since I’ve learned what it was many many years ago. I haven’t tried therapy or healing because it seems so out of reach. I reached the part about stomping your feet and completely broke down sobbing and I don’t know if it’s because I finally maybe understand that I’m not completely broken with no hope of healing. Idk, but I can’t finish this video yet.
God, this is so ridiculous and painful and terrifying all at the same time.
I completely understand. Learning about all of this can be incredibly overwhelming, even if the message is positive. We're here for you whenever you're ready to keep working towards healing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Very scary but good to know what’s happening.
Can you believe that I recently realised that I spent the first 50 years being disregulated. I was fostered and believe the separation from my mother was the original trauma. I felt physically & mentally punished by everyone around me throughout my childhood for not being a grounded child. At 50 I began to realise I’m not a freak and I think I’m more regulated. This is such an important subject. I’m lucky, my life’s been hard but I didn’t end up in a really bad situation (prison for example). To me it felt like walking with the breaks on. Everything so much more effort than I could see it was for others. With more understanding and help healing, I really believe the world could be better. Thanks fir talking about this. I’m also an Anna ❤
& yes having choice is something I didn’t have before. Relationships out of the question. No one understands any of this that I know. They think I’m a loser😢
I relate to your comment so much. I'm 50 & just seeing the truth as well. We're not crazy. It's comforting to know we're not alone. I wish you all the best, you deserve it!
@@andrearaven6307 thank you. I wish the very best for you going forward also!
Me, too. I used it to cope then and I'm using it to cope now. Sadly, I don't see the point of trying to come out of it as it is a form of protection for me from being hurt. But I wish that I would stop losing things! lol It's interesting about the handwriting changes. I noticed it but never tied it in. I never felt like I fit in anywhere and that people can pick up on that there's something off about me. So I am excluded from the 'pack' just like animals do when another animal is injured or has disabilities.
I can absolutely believe that. I've spent my whole life disregulated. I can count the times on one hand that I have felt "regulated". I had to train myself to function even when disregulated. I think my system is just stuck on that state. I've had so many years of therapy but it persists. I've tried to make peace with it. My business clients know that I am going to take the time I need to finish a job, and that depending on the day that time will vary.
I repeatedly find myself disregulated when I go to the supermarket. My social anxiety takes over and sometimes I forget what I am even looking for in the first place. A grocery list I can rely on usually helps.
This is 💯 me also
This why i do online grocery shopping is a life saver.
@@silvergirl2847 definitely worth the money
Try going early in the day when there are fewer people & listening to your own music as well, that combo helps me feel more serene.
@@monicarose2135 thanks 😊❤️
My animals I have including rescued and handicap made the biggest difference In my happiness and I can be myself.
Yes! My handwriting changes. I do get the blank expression too. My friend calls it “going away”. I didn’t realize I was doing it! Almost seems like a small seizure.
Wow I did that too when I was a child I remember I was scolded in school for daydreaming ...Looking out the window not paying attention.
Took a moment to bring me back to reality 😞 My mom was a
Alcoholic, dad never around and always hurtful 💔 when he did come home .. mom knew he was always messing around with someone...
sad and confusing situation
I was researching PNES seizures as I worry that's what was happening with me. "Going away" seems exactly how I would describe what's happening. Any tips to help you come out of it?
Yep, if have always felt like when it happens that I'm just not really here.. like my body is, but not my brain
Somebody made the mistake of holding a surprise birthday party for me a few years ago. They couldn't have known that I would spend the entire night in a corner, socially paralysed. I felt terrible for them, they were trying to be nice and I didn't feel that I could even explain my own behaviour to them. I'd never had a birthday party, no not even growing up.
In recent years I've become aware of my own social deficiencies. That it isn't that I prefer my own company - that was just something I told myself so I didn't have to try and socialise with others. In attempting to socialise it feels like there's this terrifically high wall that I have to climb. It's like I climb it but always run out of steam before I reach the top. Socialising is spiritually exhausting.
It sure is! Also, I have come to realize that because I am waiting for someone to attack or show me they won't, or whatever awful thing will or won't be taking place that usually does, I give the impression to other people that I am judging them or not enjoying their company because I find fault with them. That makes me feel very sad for them, but, also frustrated and sad for me.
This happened to me too. I feel your pain. Awful.🙃
Exactly well said
Argh, I had a terrible time with this last week. I was walking my dog at 7:30 at night along the road (there are no sidewalks). I’m on the correct side, carrying a flashlight, when a cop pulls up and starts questioning me!
I was livid, had tunnel vision, couldn’t breathe. I even called the station in a rage.
I couldn’t think straight for days.
gaslighting officials/ state employees are the worst. try to understand them? maybe they tried to find someone or just generate work.
I’m such a people pleaser that i sabotage myself feeling like such a fraud. I’m usually thinking if these people really knew me , they’d run away.
I am overridden with guilt all the time. I can’t wait til i’m home alone again and then i review my comportment to see if I was acceptable.
People find me entertaining and like my company but if they really knew my pain.
I cannot describe how living like this my whole life and never able to change the damage to my subconscious. I’m old now and disappointed in myself.
Parents and siblings were the saboteurs.
The motivational speakers make it sound like you can reverse the damage. Lord knows I’ve tried.
I feel the exact same! I’m just starting to learn, wish me luck!
I find explaining myself very difficult. So when you say sentences that feel like you’ve put a definition to my feelings it provides me a lot of comfort. I was shut down in times that advocating for myself may have gotten me out of a lot less trouble and I find that being youngest you’re a scapegoat for blame and learned complacency feels like an emotional straight jacket. I’ve grown complacent.
Can relate. Fellow scapegoat here, youngest. Nerves act up when considering bringing up a problem and engaging in conflict ( cold be mild disagreement ), but with clumsy steps, trial/error, over time progress has come in terms of gaining strength and assertiveness. I used to be quiet in groups, absorbing others' opinions and letting it all sink in, which is great on the one hand, but on the other hand it continues the almost erasure of my presence and voice. There came a time where my opinion finally had to be stated, accompanied with the risk of disagreement and/or rejection, and choosing against total conformity. It was uncomfortable, there was some rejection ( to this day ), yet the clarity of walking in Truth and Power was / is worth it. ( Who wants to be loved and accepted for who they are not? I don't! ) Not arrived, still see room for growth and maturitation, but may my life story serve you with some encouragement to exercise your mental / emotional muscles.
@@machtnichtsseimann I appreciate your reply
Same. Whenever I’m upset or someone is saying something really serious that’s upsetting, i shut down. It seems like I’m totally blank and don’t care. Even in situations where someone is being mean or hurtful to me, it only occurs to me later when it’s too late for me to stand up for myself. It’s like I’m unconscious and then I come alive with all the emotions flooding in. Youngest kid, always the scapegoat
"..and I find that being youngest you're a scapegoat for blame..." That should be on a t-shirt, perhaps with a picture of Dewey (Malcom in the Middle) and a word balloon coming from him to hold it in. If you haven't watched Malcolm in the Middle, you might enjoy it. Dewey is an amazing character. First time I saw any signficant truth to how the youngest child's life goes, when he was the youngest child that is.
@@sheromas5751 A delayed reaction to your emotions because you cannot absorb what is coming at you at the time.
I developed social anxiety from my CPTSD. It’s much harder for me to know what to say in conversations and sound confident when deep down I freak out and ask myself why I’m this way. I can’t pronounce certain words sometimes, I jumble up or mix the letters/ meanings of words, my memories distorted, I live in constant fear of criticism, I can’t be myself because 9 years ago I lost that part of me, sometimes I don’t feel real and sometimes I feel like I don’t belong anywhere. I have a hard time expressing and saying what I want to say all the time. I’ve gotten better at this since It was much worse before. I wouldn’t have Ben really talk. I talk more and it feels less difficult but it’s still very hard to talk most times. I lost my sense of self after enduring so much psychological abuse. I’m trying so hard to be my real self. I dabble in spirituality/Taoism and use that as a tool to find meaning in my life. Thank you so much for this insight! ❤
I'm the exact same way, but I'm also extremely sensitive to touch and some textures make me go numb, and unreasonably paranoid. I don't want to self diagnose, but I know this isn't normal. No one believes me though and my mom thinks I'm playing victim and making stuff up for attention.
Edit: I worded that weird. The textures and paranoia are two separate things. I'm constantly paranoid that something bad will happen at every little second, that I'll be attacked or that people are always watching me and judging me.
Social anxiety is the clincher for me. The smallest interaction plagues me for sometimes months (and, yeah, years too 😒) afterwards. Haunted by my own inadequacies.
I usually avoid people, preferring to remain withdrawn . . Or I think we're best friends because they said something kind. I have zero boundaries and never know what is appropriate. I want to feel OK around people. I just have no idea how to.
@@wyldwyrdwytchI could’ve written this comment myself honestly, I hope you’re doing well and thanks for helping me remember that I’m not alone or some sort of anomaly. Been doing a lot of journaling this year and looking back a lot of the recurring issues I’ve had are linked to topics discussed in this channel. I’m honestly grateful I’ve found this community and for people like you sharing your stories and making me feel seen. For the longest time I just thought there was something wrong with me, kind of like an inherent flaw that had no explanation, it’s been such a relief to know that that isn’t true. Sending you lots of love ❤
Hi Sweetheart
I’m so sorry to hear what you are going through
I feel to share with you that Jesus is the answer for you!
The bible says “When you find the Truth, the Truth will set you free”
The bible is the only truth , all other spiritually is man made
Jesus was God in flesh and died on a cross for you to save you and to heal you mentally and physically
God says if you seek him with all your hearts, you will find him
I pray you do that and are set free healed while and saved ❤✝️
this video explains so much about me , I have tried to get my sisters onboard to understand me with no luck . I didn't tell them what happened to me , only my Therapist knows that . and I am not going over my life story again , it's too painful for anybody including me , even my therapist was upset when I told her for the first time , but you Anna are someone I can tell understands all the symptoms , that go along with c.p.t.s.d . I tried before knowing about c.p.t.s.d . medication only feeling so much worse I had to stop taking them , I wish it wasn't so hard to get people to understand me , they are still judging me , for men were I live people don't want to understand. , they just say Toughen up . if only they had this dysregulation then they would understand like you do , 🧚🏼♀🐬
You survived. You are tough enough.
Nothing like Christmas with a borderline mother and a toddler to cause disregulation
Take heart Cleo, Christmas is over now, back to the normal disregulation ❤ take care..
I've dreaded Christmas for years because of my mother , I know the feeling
I noticed about a year ago that having some protein helps me get through tough moments or disregulation. I’ve started carrying packets of beef jerky in my purse. Anna, I appreciate the validation that this is helpful! It’s nice to know that my instincts are correct.
Whoah. That’s eye opening! I’ve noticed that nutrition has a huuuge impact on how regulated I am but I hadn’t made the protein connection. I think I’ll take a page from your book and try that!
Sameeee here
Thanks for sharing!!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yeah if I don’t have protein for my morning meal I end up pretty disregulated by the afternoon.
Going high fat, moderate protein has improved my lifelong depression, anxiety and PTSD about 90%. Especially helpful for diabetics and those metabolically diseased.
Oh i know when im dysregulated ...if I'm breathing.. this is hell on earth
This was the video I needed 6 hours ago 🙄 escalated an argument with my abusive mom while triggered. Who did it help? Not me, that's for sure.
We all do it💔💚
Hope you're doing better now ❤️
Its so hard, but I believe in you. Everyone who's experienced an abusive parent knows how that feels
I argued with my abusive mom yesterday 😀 happens to the best of us
I fight with her in my head and dreams daily. She haunts me even in death. Or maybe especially so
You might withdraw
Get silent
Get confused
Say things
Freak out
Or doing something impulsive
Yes Alex, All of The Above for 300
haha good one :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
"Our handwriting changes" omg yes yes yes!! I can go from written to cursive within the same word... thanks for shedding light on this strange habit of mine 😂
You explained this topic so well. Great analogies and perfect timing as I was trying to calm and balance my nervous system.
So happy to hear that! Glad it was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
This is so helpful. I went to the grocery store one day and felt out of my body, like I was on another plane of reality from others in the store. I thought it was my vision, but then felt my whole being was out of sorts. This was the beginning of me realizing my primary relationship was with an emotionally destructive (to me) person. I noticed I felt this way after nearly every conversation with them.
Oh my word…u just explained my life to me and I am 65 years old! I have hope now!
Wonderful, so glad you commented!
-Cara@TeamFairy
In Russian, there is a wording for it: you „don‘t fit in your skin“. It has always been that feeling for me. Ironic, that they taught me the wording for the feelings that they were responsible for giving me.
Childhood PTSD can also be from the early death of a parent. I really like your idea of the "corner" hug. :) Thank you for all the strategies for self-regulation.
Ruth Jensen ty I just watched this video and totally relate since my Mom passed as a child don’t know if you had mother or father loss
I have not found any other females who lost the Mom , more so the Dad. blessings
Yep. I lost both my parent within 6 months, when I was 7. My little brother died a few years later.
Yes this is my problem!
I absolutely have a blank reaction when I'm told something that should be emotionally stimulating. This is because I needed to maintain a poker face after being badly taken advantage of as a child by my family and more particularly my brother
Huh. I’ve wondered what that GODAWFUL NOISE in my head is all about..Also losing things: shoes, keys, etc. Even down to my hands going numb. Thank you for this info & advice! Love from Finland🖤
@@toiletrollholder Omg that’s me with my phone and keys, every damn time I’m stepping out the door! I once found my phone in a kitchen cupboard 🤦🏼♀️
People often incorrectly confuse being regulated with being calm. Being calm, acting externally calm, using a soft voice etc. does not mean you are regulated. Someone can appear calm and be emotionally dysregulated. On the flip side, someone can raise their voice and not be dysregulated. Regulated means present and connected (connected to your healthy self, to the situation at hand, and to the person with whom you're interacting). It can at times be calm, but you can also feel the full range of emotions, even anger, and still be completely regulated. Regulated does NOT mean that nothing angers or hurts you. It means you can feel hurt and angered and respond to those feelings in a healthy way, instead of reacting in unhealthy ways. Focusing too much on presenting an appearance of calmness can actually be detrimental to the process of getting truly regulated and staying connected/present in triggering situations.
As I have gone through years of healing. I don't consider society a good mirror of emotional feedback. I consider most people out of tune in their own way. The example you gave of your son's preschool teacher during the conversation about his behavior. I am half Japanese, we don't engage emotionally like westerners do. If she would have told me I didn't care. I would have said..."not anymore than a school system that thinks kids can sit still all day and not stress out."
I don't get emotional and for some reason that gets others emotional.
Is it possible to be in a disregulated state but also non confrontational? Sometimes I find myself people pleasing just to get out of the situation I’m in that’s bothering me.
I believe so. Maybe not a bad thing…sometimes I can’t be present when under attack, or I think I am…😊 I don’t want to loose my crap and make things worse.
Yes. She's done a video on people-pleasing.
Yes. Also Psych To Go might be a good channel for you to seek out and I think they’ve touched upon this too
I believe it's called fawning.
@@rozannmartin7235 thank you ❤️
I love this. Dysregulation is so difficult. I avoid social situations, am disconnected, social anxiety, have serious executive dysfunction issues but i don't take meds. I accept the way i am and understand and try to make small changes to my thoughts or actions or behaviors little by little. Over time you become better and have changed old patterns and behaviors and thoughts. Sometimes i forget to remind myself to think more positive or forget to do things differently so I'll tie or write something on my hands ti remind myself
How are you doing now? I have the same problems as you. I am hoping it gets better with time as my nervous system heals
I absolutely love your approach. So often in "talking therapies" we get stuck in the past and it's not always helpful, it can be triggering as you have said before. My chlidhood trauma has meant, that i have virtually no memory. Great not to remember what happened to me as a child but awful as an adult, not remembering key moments let alone what i did last week. How i ever passed an exam i will never know. Thankyou again for you wisdom and kindness. I am eternally grateful ❤
I have been told before that I look like I don't care when in actual fact, it's the complete opposite that's happening - I care too much! I now realise that is a trauma reaction. I still don't have it under control, in fact, right now, I'm entirely dysregulated due to an ongoing family disagreement. My nervous system has shut down and I feel removed. Thank you for the videos. I'm still working on my daily practice 😉
Some of that I've been in for decades. I guess I've been disregulated for years. I guess I don't know what it's like to be regulated. Wow that would be a new thing for me & new territory for me to conquer! My husband in public sometimes touch me & other ppl do things to get my attention & bring me back to the place where my body is. I've spent decades being this way. I'm a CHRISTIAN & many ppl see I'm a kind hearted person! Once they realize I'm not a doormat many ppl decide to leave me. I'm not a hermit but I do love my alone time! It's gives me more time with JESUS! I crave JESUS wisdom more than I crave friendships. Thank u Anna for bringing this to light. U are a big help to me & so many ppl!!!
So Beautiful to see someone praising, craving, and desiring the LORD JESUS! HIS healing is ours to have! The whole world is created to dysregulate, but HIS Kingdom is soon to come and all dysregulation, evil, and darkness will be put down to hell within the lake of fire. Continue to be kindhearted, it is a gift and a blessing. May Wisdom and her paths of pleasantness find you and keep you unto eternity. Be Blessed!!
Anna I wake up disregulated alot, I've learned to give that extra time to dissolve as I give myself extra time to wake up and clear out some of the fog of discomfort. Thank you for your work here, your videos give me a lot of encouragement thank you for the daily practice I hope you're having a great holiday season.
Thank you. Good work!
A house fire or a vehicle incident also
I SPOKE TO SOMEONE WHO USED TO BE A CLOSE FRIEND - I CALLED HER BECAUSE WE HADNT
SPOKEN IN A LONG TIME -- SHE WAS SURPRISED TO HEAR FROM ME AND SHE TOLD ME THAT I HAD
SENT HER A NASTY EMAIL A COUPLE OF YRS AFTER I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH PTSD -- I WAS MORTIFIED
AND TOLD HER THAT I DIDNT REMEMBER TAT AND I NEVER FELT ANGRY TOWARDS HER AND APOLOGIZED
BEFORE I GOT SICK TO MY STOMACH - NONE OF MY FRIENDS EVEN CARED WHAT I WAS GOING THRU
WHICH WAS DEVASTATING .......I SPOKE TO 2 OTHER FRIENDS WHEN I THOUGHT IT HAD BEEN A COUPLE
OF YRS AND THEY TOLD ME IT HAD BEEN ALMOST 20 YRS!!.....I DONT REMEMBER MUCH OF ANYTHING....
AND I JUST GET PHYSICALLY ILL AND I CANT BRING MYSELF TO SEE A DR---THEY WERENT SENSITIVE EITHER
AND I HAVE REALLY PAINFUL MEMORIES....... ..
I wonder if these are also signs you might be neurodivergent like adhd/autism? Not saying you don’t have ptsd (I do too ) but it also sounds like sensory issues, facial expression differences etc are common in autism adhd? And it’s also extremely common to be very traumatised living as a neurodivergent person! Just a suggestion 😊
Apparently there is a large overlap of autism/adhd and trauma and, within this context, esp adhd and C-PTSD. I wanna hear more about it because my childhood wasn’t extremely traumatic at home but I would describe feeling at least partially emotionally neglected at home and entirely neglected by peers in school. However, for at least a year or so now I’ve assumed it was because of ADHD and maybe that’s true. But, now that I’m learning about C-PTSD, it’s hard to know what came first and what derives from what since the symptoms of both ADHD and C-PTSD are so similar 🤔
I have a fair idea when I’m disregulated - and yes my handwriting sucks. It’s helpful to know that it’s happening. Explains a lot of weirdness. Thank you Anna, really appreciate you!
Wow this one video is worth more than all the physiologist appointments i have attended in my life. This has really hit the mark for me. Thank you!
I want to thank you for your content. 60 years I've lived with this and until I stumbled on your page and now all the pieces are starting to fit together. Now, to learn and heal...so I can finally join team healthy for the first time in my life. You and some other professionals just sharing content I know there's a path forward. As I found out in my 40's anxiety can actually cause many health issues. Medication is not an option for me so I'm going to have to heal. Thank you
I identify with some but not all of these issues.
My ADD is driving me nuts. I'm afraid to call people on the phone, and I'm resistant to organizing my workshop, I'm overwhelmed with everything. I've a contracted artwork to do, and resist beginning it.
I tried ADD and anti-anxiety drugs, both making their respective malady worse... much worse. A full night's sleep is elusive, and if I do get to sleep, it's in the wee hours before dawn, and I sleep till noon.
I wish I knew what I was dealing with.
You just described my life. I sleep better when I’m exhausted, if that helps you. But I don’t think anything is gonna fix the phone anxiety. It’s generational.
YES...Same here.
@@barbarateresarhiannonsreal1756
Same here
Melatonin, protein/nutrition intake helps
Mindful meditation, journalin and proper Hydration too. Also am ideal setting ideal to you
Try big exercise and nutrition regimen. Full extension exercise line ATG and plyometrics. Recover fitness and the ability to be satisfied by working and feeding the body. (?)
Such a helpful description! I've never heard another person describe the sensations before. I agree with most of your description, but I need to add something, for those reading the comments. For me, my primary giveaway that I've entered a dissociated/dysregulated state is that I become simultaneously freezing cold, and also lathered in sweat. Climbing into a hot shower is the most helpful thing to slow the panic down and give myself space to think. Not that a hot shower is always immediately available, but I make my way to one as soon as I can!
Thanks for chiming in :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Yes! I have learned when to walk out of the room during an argument because I can feel myself getting to the point where I am going to lose complete control over my body. It feels like someone else is piloting me.
Finally, yesterday I got it! I knew what you meant by dysregulation. Something happened in the morning that threw me off and as usual I tried to be strong and just move forward with my day. As the day went on, I noticed that I was leaving a lot of clutter behind me, I was jotting down notes, and my handwriting was barely legible. After a while, I looked around and thought“ so this is what she’s talking about!” I decided to do a short workout, then sub meditation where I cried a bit, and I was able to move through the rest of the day, feeling relaxed and reminding myself that everything isn’t my fault. I actually knew that everything wasn’t my fault.
This makes so much sense now. I seriously struggle to really listen to what people are saying to me when they speak. My brain is so full of other stuff I find it difficult to concentrate. Thanks for this ❤
We understand as few others can! Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
This is gold
These tips and tools are gold
This video is pure gold
Thank you ❤️
Glad you enjoyed!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Overwhelming. 😢 Could dysregulation contribute to development of Parkinson's?
i've revised my opinion about Anna's videos and deleted my negative comments for which I apologise. This woman is brilliant. I strongly recommnend that people watch her videos; I have learned so much from her.
Thank you, we appreciate you being thoughtful! Wishing you good luck on your healing journey!
Nika@TeamFairy
I have searched a lifetime for answers always thinking I could beat it. I haven’t. I didn’t know was I was dealt with. Anxiety and depression was a constant companion even in childhood. Untreated panic disorder for 7 years because there wasn’t a name for it at that time. All of that has lead to other battles. A shame based identity, isolation etc etc. Only medication and therapy and constantly reading self health books kept my head above water.
I couldn't have written that any differently about my own life. Wow. Yes, it IS finally relieving to get the answers we have so desperately survived a lifetime of pure hell to get!
@@tinalisowski7229 Thank you so very much replying. Everyday I pray for that connection with someone who could begin to understand what it’s like living a life in dysfunction. And a lot of praying for that is because of the isolation. Every person needs affirmation. Someone who can look back into your eyes and and you know love and acceptance so that you can be ok with yourself. I have never been ok with me. Only fleeting moments of that dissipate all to soon and you go back to that robotic way existence. I so wish I could help others who may be in the early stages of these emotional illnesses so that they don’t have to endure a lifetime of this misery. It must be very fulfilling for you to be helping others because you are giving them a chance to experience all the beauty that life does have to offer. Thank you so much for all that you do!
My grandfather used to say I was very hard to read. I have spells of clumsiness and indecision. As a child my extremities would go numb and I’d sometimes feel like I’m falling down a bottomless pit.
My parents are either sociopathic or just don't understand social cues. It's strange to be a parent to your parents, or it's just consistent gaslighting.
This was very helpful. It is clear to me that dysregulation has been a near-constant state of being for me throughout my life. And the things that have helped me best re-regulate make perfect sense! (Including singing, acupuncture, swimming, and dancing... all of which I've been nearly living without for the three years due to my role as full-time caregiver for multiple family members. - No wonder I feel lousy and exhausted!
This is an amazing awareness for me - feels like a "lightbulb moment", you know?! 😅
I will now begin to habitually do re-regulation behaviors throughout my days and see if I can't pull myself out if this rut!
Thanks a bunch! ❤
This video is so incredibly valuable, thank you for describing this state of being and its impact from the point of view of the body. I am sharing it with a loved one with the hopes that it will stop the self-blame, shame and anguish that is the aftermath of out-of-control responses to being overwhelmed. Being given the right language to understand the effects of trauma is a profound gift. I can’t thank you enough.
Wow, I knew something was definitely wrong but could never pinpoint it, at 56 I am so disappointed at the years, relationships, health, and opportunities that I have lost but it feels so good to know how to move forward to correct. Thank you for this!
So glad it was helpful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Me and my friend had a falling out and when we spoke about it she was flat and emotionless. She apologised for it and I said not to worry as its normal and I just finished going through the exact same state of flatness. We had a very similar upbringing with certain things. Maybe it's not as normal as I thought.
I journal every morning, aka 'morning pages', and I can tell now when I've woken up dysregulated because my handwriting is in fact different! You've gifted us with words and explanations and hands-on things to do... what a blessing to be understood.
H//
Morning pages are wonderful! I look forward to starting again and going on artist dates 😁
I wondered the same! Dysregulated=cursive, regulated = printing
Thank you for being frank and honest. This information is important for being able to develop somatic understanding and compassion.
When I'm disregulated I often visualize myself running as fast as I can to get away from the situation. I'm having it right now. 😭😭😭
I didn't know how to discribe what it felt like in my head. I have been trying to control the issues for most of my life.
I needed this information. Had pretty severe childhood trauma and dissociation. I am going through some trying times right now: I have ADHD and the medicine I take is out for weeks at my pharmacy. I called a couple of pharmacies who said they don't have it nor have plans to have it. I stopped calling. I gave up. I do this for other things too and it makes me feel weak and unmotivated. I think I'm "stuck" though. I also say things to friends sometimes and get negative reactions--usually if a friend is trying to tell me what to do and I feel frustrated and unheard.
I watched a video by another therapist type person which was specifically about how to get unstuck. In the video they are talking about what helped a person with serious childhood trauma, as it happens. The basic gist of it is to start with slapping your thighs. Make yourself do that. Then, stomping your feet. Then, standing up and wiggiling your arms, legs, neck, etc. Then, putting on a song that inspires movement and basically just shake all over, can stomp and stuff too. And, after you get through a full song of that, yell. It can be into a pillow if you don't want to worry people too much. Then, if you have the time, more dancing. Doesn't have to be shaking, but it can be. Just dancing. I tried it and it worked quite well.
I get stuck as well I need to try this thank you for the information. What was the name of the person was it on youtube? Thank you
That foot-stamping "left, right," has helped pull me out of dysregulated malfunctionings multiple times. Thank you, Crappy Childhood Fairy!!
I've noticed I go numb, and my mind wonders. I feel floaty and start shutting down. I can go about life, but I'm not really aware or engaged and am zombie like. 😮😢 I start having accidents, drop things, I'm disorganised.
I so appreciate your channel! I so needed this 40 years ago. Thankfully I have healed since then. Young people are blessed to have this resource!
I stumbled into Anna by Divine intervention. My physician has been treating me for chronic severe anxiety for a couple of years now. My health insurance doesn’t provide coverage for mental health care so I’ve been wandering aimlessly, a loose canon if you will, and I was at the end. Hearing Anna talk about disregulation probably saved my life. These panic attacks were real and even had a name. Growing up my home life wasn’t Leave It To Beaver style, however, I can’t say for sure that I had a crappy childhood either. I have experienced trauma as an adult. And I experience disregulation as described. I guess my point is no matter the cause of it, Anna’s help in identifying it and how to manage it has helped me so much that I’m alive to write this today.
My Trauma: Narcissistic Abuse from husband of 19-years. Coupled with living through an armed robbery with a loaded gun to my head and my husband hearing it go down over the phone did absolutely nothing. He didn’t call the police and never called me back to see if I survived. He left me for dead and went about his day as if nothing was wrong. Yes ~ We’re getting divorced!
I totally get it. Thanks for sharing. I was raped and my ex-husband couldn’t have cared less. We were married for 20 years and I tried and tried but narcissists are just not interested- easier to dump the inconvenient one and start with someone else.
@@mindydickinson2226
Thank you ~ And I’m sorry to hear about your experience! You’re divorced now, correct? I’m having difficulty divorcing my 20-year mistake. He’s in control of all marital assets and refuses to allow me to retain a lawyer. Plus, he canceled my health insurance so now I’m without medical care… Dental care. He was hit with a restraining order and forced to leave the residence after being arrested for assault and battery. I eventually borrowed money from family to get the most inadequate lawyer possible. I fired him last week. I’m floundering aimlessly, unable to escape or move on with my life. I’m in crisis and I’m really scared.
Oh God ~ It felt so good to admit that to someone. I’m sitting here with the crown on my front tooth missing, because I actually ate it when it popped off and just today, my charming mistake told me to get a job if I want it fixed. Yeah… I’m interview ready… Missing front tooth. My life is so absurd right now all I can do is laugh. I know it’s temporary and will someday get better.
Good for you for taking care of yourself.
This afternoon I was put on the spot. I was expected to say something at a birthday celebration. I almost froze. In the past I would have froze. Therapy and meditation has helped me greatly.
You just described my day to day work life! I have ADHD and work retail in a very fast-paced environment.
I've described it to folks as being like Sheldon in that Big Bang Theory episode where they're trying to teach him to smile, but it just looks creepy. Also, my attitude shifts from wanting to help people to wanting them to go away cause they're obstacles to the rest of the work I am struggling to get done.
Gonna practice what techniques I can while at work. Thank you!
this video was so timely. it's interesting because I have been doing healing for a long time now.. and I've finally taken all the steps to move away from the things that are hurting me and healing from burnout.. it is now that I am experiencing myself feeling highly dysregulated all the time. This is really helpful. I'm not sure what is triggering these things.. but I just remember last night feeling this very agitated state.. and laying in bed.. i just clenched my fists and started doing breathing exercises.. Thanks for this.
You are most welcome! Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I just found your channel today and I can't thank you enough for sharing this... Few days ago, I felt so overwhelmed , I could feel the pain in my stomach and my head. I could not focus, and my face expression definitely changed (I sent my selfie to my best friend, she said my face is flat and scary). During this situation, I usually feel like I want to run away from home, and that day I rode my motorbike very fast just to feel the adrenaline (its very dangerous, I know). Then I tried to understand what I felt, by writing my thoughts on my journal, I cried several times in one day. After three days, I felt better now. I am trying to understand my situation and I found your videos, thank you
I nodded my head up and down throughout this video.
Has anyone else experienced humming or long groan when sleeping or when falling asleep? Not snoring. Snoring is usually on inhale, humming/groaning is on exhale. I know it’s called catathrenia, and cause is unknown. Apparently there are no neurological changes during sleep studies. I do notice it happens when I feel dis-regulated; or under immense stress.
Yeah I do Melissa. Usually on the edge of sleep when relaxation overrules tension in my breathing and throat. It’s never bothered me though.
@@willcoleman2014 thank you Will. It does not bother me - it was just different and new.
I am new to your work, so forgive me if this is sort of old news or irrelevant, but I saw something so clearly, watching this, when you talked about both the subject, unable to perceive context clues, and the people around, unable to read how we might express ourselves: BOUNDARIES. If we grew up without very many clear boundaries, which could come from many repeated examples, or many explicit lessons, we would naturally be searching, pointlessly, in the wrong places, to figure out how to express, what to say, what is important and which behaviors and expressions we need to respond to. Of course that would produce anxiety, disregulation, dissociation. It would also affect how we show our internal reactions: Going “cold” or seeming flat or disinterested seems like it might be a coping strategy for some (not all!) of us. So the exposure and experience with BOUNDARIES in our lives might be one thing contributing to a disconnect in how we respond and what signals we pick up on. If we didn’t have good boundary modeling, we’re just swinging randomly, rarely guessing correctly, and experimenting well into adulthood with how to express our internal states, and how to understand others, expressing theirs. For neurotypicals, this fits into the whole picture differently from those with neurodivergence. But all children crave, seek, and constantly push to discover and understand boundaries in all interactions. Being starved of clear boundaries can leave us ill-equipped, making extra effort to discover them later in life. Exhausting, disorienting, distressing, lonely and alienating.
Yes. When I'm new at a job I feel disregulated. I end up making stupid stupid stupid mistakes for the first few days until I'm comfortable with the team and building itself. After the first days I work like I've been there 10 years no issues. It's hard. Those symptoms are spot on.
Nobody told me how freaking hard it was going to be to be a parent!! I’m in bed, almost 1am, the teenagers all decided I made things worse after I handled a scary issue without knowing how, and I just want to get the hell OUT of here!!
My mom and step dad would CONSTANTLY scream and yell at each other. One of my first memories was they drove my brother and I to Disneyland for vacation. Screamed at each other the whole way. The night before the park we were in bed and they were up yelling and screaming at each other. I remember THAT more than Disneyland. Also when my mom was gone (usually at work) my stepdad would beat me and my brother. But not in visible places. I must have been maybe 4 years old and I remember he punched me in my stomach so hard I couldn’t breathe and he got scared and was saying “it’s ok just breath, you’re ok” he knew he had really hurt me. My older brother who shared these experiences with me told me about abuse that I don’t even remember cause I was so small. My mom never found out about this until we were older because right before my mom would get back from work he would apologize to us and tell us not to tell mom and for some reason we never did. He was very manipulative and so we never said anything when we were little. I just remember always being tense and my heart racing as a child and having anxiety but I didn’t know what it was cause I thought it was normal. I now have Multiple Sclerosis an autoimmune disease and Crohn’s. I think it has a lot to do with my childhood and all the trauma I experienced.
That sounds hard! You’re in the right place.
-Cara@TeamFairy
this is extremely accurate. everything in front of you is a fog, you can't really hear, everything is off. and you are consumed with looking normal so no one slaps the crazy label on you.
I already have plenty labels - plus my mother useta hurl a lot of Irish (Gaelic) abusive descriptive words at me as a child (cos she couldn't make me out either!) Words like "óinseach" (i think that means a stupid, silly fool of a woman/ girl) and "straoil" (i think that means slut/ bad housekeeper) and my God those bad words cut right through me like knives...
you remind me of Diane keaton she was awesome at acting deregulated in her movies it added humour to her characters.
This is me 😔 I certainly could have saved a ton of time and money and a screwed up life for myself and my daughters, with absolutely no helpful results over the years, Just watching this one video. Thankful for you, Crappy Childhood Fairy ❤️🙏
How can we heal and help others understand it wasn't them, possibly help them with any issues they have bc of my actions.
I can't concentrate I've not finished my education jumping from job to job moving too much rearranging my atmosphere seemed to help me not think about the horrible things I witnessed as a little girl. The beatings of my mother the sexual abuse beginning at 9 until 16 when I finally ran away with my big sister, the hospitalization of my mother after being left on a dirt road after almost being killed by my dad and then having other siblings saying it never happened is another nightmare. I'm needing help and don't know what to do. I'll continue to watch your videos. I Know I have PTSD just like a war Veteran. I'm a Christian which has really saved me from checking out ❤
Happy Thanksgiving 😊
It sounds like you've had to survive some incredible hardships. You're in the right place now and we're all here to support you! If you're open to it, I would encourage you to try Anna's free Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you 🙏 I'll try it.
I'm learning great tools, insight, etc., from Anna.
Feels like I hit gold 😊
Pretending to be a nornal regular person n trying to figure out how to act. Man this is very eye opening. People act differently when they see u in a state n then judge u. Makes it even harder as if u need that. Great channel im gona sub!
Welcome to the channel :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thanks!
Disregulation.
You mention as I listen my memories flashbacks are happening.
"I'm getting disregulated"
Stay safe ... yeah
Everything else is being clocked (trying)
Such hard work...
Stamping
Deep breaths
In those moments to remember to do this.
Thank you CCF 🧚♂️ ❤ 🧚♀️
Wow this blew my mind I always go into this state when I feel attacked by my family and I try not to say anything cause I know deep down I’m being unreasonable but it takes me like an hour or so to calm down and it’s the most uncomfortable hour of my life. It’s so nice to have these tips and know I’m not insane
You certainly aren't! I'm so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
TYSVM! 🥰I’ve been binging your videos since finding you recently…& I’ve decided that you’re the Internet Angel officially!❤️🩹😇🙏🏼🥲💘
So glad you found the channel! -Calista@TeamFairy
I can totally lose my voice when suddenly dysregulated.
This happens to me ..
You've opened my eyes to a lot! Thank you very much!!! 😊 i grew up in dysfunctional family! I was the only kid in town with red hair every kid wanted to fight with me in groups! Luckily we moved! But my parents were missed up from their childhood! Sooo... it fell on me!😢
Perfect timing!
So glad! -Calista@TeamFairy
Ugh yes that feeling of being different! In the last two years my anxiety and depression have sky rocketed. Next step is TMS I want a life not just an existence!
Sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thank you!
That example of how it feels to be overwhelmed and everyone pulling at you from 100 directions. And everything is an emergency, and only you can help them ...and you are told you have to help them right now! And if you don't terrible things will happen.
Not many of us had perfect childhoods. There's always something wrong with everyone and their childhood.
It's not what you're given, it's what you do with!
Still, your videos are very informative and helpful by showing me that I'm not as alone as I sometimes think I am.
Knowledge is power and the truth indeed sets one free.
You have to find out you want it first!
I like your channel. If you had your own video on it I could leave you a comment.
I have been in a dysregulated state a lot of the time in my life. Your description hit it out of the park. A couple months ago, I had a procedure where I almost died due to medical errors. I was awake and aware when the complications occurred. Later, when the doctor explained what happened I was in such a dysregulated state that I was mute, felt numb, and showed no emotion. I sometimes wonder what was going through the doctor's head about my non-reaction. Actually, I think I've been in a constant dysregulated state since the procedure. I think it's my way of coping with the trauma of the experience.
I understand. I've recently had surgery it was very traumatic for me I feel like I've been very disregulated since. Sending healing to you 😊