Being zoned out can be dissociation. I remember people needing to get me to focus… and it’s not until I was 46 that I realized I have Dissociative identity disorder. My brain managed to keep my abuse compartmentalized. Truly fascinating when you think about it.
21 นาทีที่ผ่านมา +1
The brain does so much to try to protect itself. It is fascinating.
I so relate. You can see the progression of how terrible my abusive marriage is -- all you need to do is compare my DL's and passports over the past 10 years. I'm a shell of who I was before I got married.
If you have pictures of your parents and grandparents, check them. You can find awareness about your most guarded family's secrets. You might find out that the crazy ones were the healthiest but burdened.
Every single one of these is completely true for me. 💯 In fact, I've often wondered if I have ASD because eye contact is so difficult for me. Thank you for highlighting this!
You can have both, and in actuality children in the autism spectrum often go through repeated trauma as children. So keep exploring options and I hope you find your truth
i have asd but was comfortable making eye contact. I’ve been going through a trauma healing journey and i have been trouble making eye contact. Ive heard the people with asd can have trouble with it or may engage in it too intensely. i’m almost sure how much is due to asd and how much it due to trauma. Either progress is possible and don’t give up hope. For asd i recommend looking into fasting for autaphagy and for trauma i recommend grieving and emotional processing therapies for pyshcological integration. Life can be normal. I went thru extreme trauma and had asd but God has carried me thru it and has helped me immensely. Jesus is our biggest helper and friend. Dont go through life alone, God is there and is willing to help you ask for wisdom and seek out a relationship with Him !
I was diagnosed with pdd-nos at 12, an old diagnosis for asd, back in the 90s. I'm convinced that it's not genetic, at least no more than susceptability. Imo, it's early life isolation, particularly social, combined with parents who gaslight us about their emotions. I.e. My mother always told me she was just tired, whenever she went on a passive aggressive tyrade. She kept me isolated, apparently for lack of a babysitter who would do nights while staying awake. I assume it's for lack of a convenient babysitter within the first 3 she tried, knowing her. Compare the symptoms with Failure to Thrive, and you'll find it 1 symptom off.
My parents taught my siblings and I . Eye contact when we were children. But since my trauma. My eyes are doing other things lately. Super watery, blurred vision, and constant blinking !
Bro, I don’t even look in a mirror. I shave in the shower, telling myself I’m already wet and soapy. I keep a wash-and-go haircut. Eye contact is something I avoid, even with myself.
I often can't look at myself in the mirror, no idea why ? I had a haircut few yrs back, and I wouldn't look in mirror at the style, anyone know why I feel this way ?
@@andrewrees8749 for me it’s internalized shame. I’m working Codependency Anonymous and Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. I have to” restore the emotional losses of childhood” (CoDA intro) and be my own loving parent (ACA). I’ve gone through years of grief and am starting to come out the other side. It’s not easy work, but it’s better than feeling like sh!t and having no hope.
@@andrewrees8749 I had the same problem ever since adolescence started. I learned it's called toxic shame from childhood neglect, and the only way I've gotten better is healing my inner child and learning to love myself more. It's taken two years for me to get comfortable with it and it completely changed my identity and confidence. I hope you start to heal yourself even though it's really hard if real love wasn't modeled to you. Cheers for everyone who's healing in the comments ❤️❤️🩹
I think eye problems may also be part of trauma. My hyper vigilance has made my eyes constantly over tired. I have been short sighted since I was young and it makes sense because I feel exhausted from examining every detail. Over time I've actually blurred out life beyond 3metres away. It helps prevent a level of overwhelm to just shut life out.
I wish people could understand that people who look most "normal" are not always healthy. My father was an eye doctor and he didn't want to treat my continuous blinking when I was 9 yo because I was as "neurotic" as my poor aunt. I still don't know if he ever realized he married the toxic sister but I saw the same "far away eyes" in three pictures of his mother who died after delivery of my father's youngest brother. My father was the first born and he was 9 years old when his mother died. My grandfather remarried and after I realized about my narcissistic mother's little secret; her malignant narcissism, I realized all my grandparents offsprings married narcissistic couples. Except for one, all of them were males and they all married covert vulnerable malignant narcissistic women who passed the curse to the next generation. In most cases, the first born was the golden child no matter if it was male or female... check your ancestors pictures if you have them because you can find clues about their lives. Very interesting observations from Tim. Thank you 🙏
As someone with face blindness I don't look people in the face because I can't tell what I'm looking at. I can tell by people body language or how they sound. The face tells me nothing but that they have the regular eyes,nose, and mouth. I can't even describe what I look like.
Bug eyes mentioned (Bulging eyes) Graves disease immune system attacking the eye tissue and the thyroid. So it’s not necessarily trauma if someone has bulging eyes or staring eyes.!
I worked in a warehouse when I was a teenager, and one time a coworker about my age asked me what was wrong with my eyes. I had no idea what he was talking about and have always wondered what he saw. Another time, I was in therapy, and my therapist was talking with me about my relationship with women, and suddenly one of my eyes just started twitching uncontrollably. At the very least, it's interesting how it all manifests in a physical form. I wonder what I might look like without it.
I’m not necessarily refuting any of this, but these descriptions of eyes & eye contact can be applied to other conditions, as well. Accept it if it resonates, but also consider other possibilities like neurodivergence, health conditions, depression….
I tend to study people to get feedback if they are accepting me or not. I have tried to stop this but it's automatic and makes people feel uncomfortable. I try to forcefully avert my eyes so as not to look so intensely but that looks weird too.
I'm near sighted and some days are too exhausting that I take off my glasses so I don't have to pay attention to anything. The world is blurry and I can just dissociate from it all.
I see alot of this really hard to know whats the reality though as people are rarely honest with me in this regard as to not hurt my perceived feelings and if they are honest it kind of comes out all frustrated and harsh which i carnt really learn from or take any meaningfull responsabillity for the more and more i go threw life the more I realise everyone has a little bit of thease issues it can be hard to make momentum as everyone is an island from my perspective people have so many expectations of each other that its better to be in isolation then to feel burdensome assosiation but you loose your sense of being able to transcend anything without feeling like it doesnt stick or that is wasnt quiet good enough there are so many variables to people thease days that it might have been none of it at all and just that society is unempathic when it come to percived faults in others i tend to look at how society is stuctured very illusinary most people are doing there best they can it just comes out pressure tainted were all misguided alot of the time and carnt orientate our selves in reality authentically therefore our trajectory is stunted alot of compromise leaving a sense that life become sacrificial boiling alive in warm water the eyes are a way to see into the soul apparently and most souls are being tortured there isnt the opposite avenue for people an offer of peace and understanding not even from therapy without being financially crippled
Interesting isn’t it? I thought my avoidance of eye contact must be the autism. But I’m actually both audhd and I have complex trauma. I notice there is a lot of crossover between the two. Symptoms of autism that are also symptoms of the trauma.
@@South_Heat it is genetic or is it trauma induced? we know TBI can give all kids of weird behaviors from schizophrenia to dementia. its quite odd how almost 80% of audhd people have bad childhoods. my guess is feminism killed the discussion as it would be career suicide to claim mothers arent perfect.
@@alexmannen1991 Yes such a good point. My doctor was suggesting something like this recently that there is a link between my childhood trauma and having audhd and ehlers danlos. We really still understand so little about how this all works.
Yes. It can be very hard to tell the difference between a normal or caring person who has trauma in the eyes vs an evil person’s eyes. Both experienced trauma. One can be helped the other cannot.
@@Ganeden999people are not inherently good. Watch a bunch of toddlers and it shows. We naturally lie, hit, and do not want to share. We are taught not to do those things. The fact there is trauma demonstrates that as well
@@Ganeden999- There is such a thing as a person who chooses to do evil. They aren’t immune to responsibility just because their decision to do evil was influenced by their trauma. Even without trauma people can still choose evil over good and we see that from the beginning of Genesis onwards.
Just happened with me, 3 girls just out of school all cuddling and peering into their phone and giggling...they came round the corner and they jumped and almost froze...I just said 'beautiful' and kept on walking 🥰
Being zoned out can be dissociation. I remember people needing to get me to focus… and it’s not until I was 46 that I realized I have Dissociative identity disorder. My brain managed to keep my abuse compartmentalized. Truly fascinating when you think about it.
The brain does so much to try to protect itself. It is fascinating.
Had to have my photos taken for a new passport the other day - and was shocked how much trauma still was in my eyes...
I so relate. You can see the progression of how terrible my abusive marriage is -- all you need to do is compare my DL's and passports over the past 10 years. I'm a shell of who I was before I got married.
Gosh it’s so horrific I hope we get the security love plus care we deserve cheers
If you have pictures of your parents and grandparents, check them. You can find awareness about your most guarded family's secrets.
You might find out that the crazy ones were the healthiest but burdened.
@@nickandrews2255 ❤
Every single one of these is completely true for me. 💯 In fact, I've often wondered if I have ASD because eye contact is so difficult for me. Thank you for highlighting this!
Me too.
You can have both, and in actuality children in the autism spectrum often go through repeated trauma as children. So keep exploring options and I hope you find your truth
i have asd but was comfortable making eye contact. I’ve been going through a trauma healing journey and i have been trouble making eye contact. Ive heard the people with asd can have trouble with it or may engage in it too intensely. i’m almost sure how much is due to asd and how much it due to trauma. Either progress is possible and don’t give up hope. For asd i recommend looking into fasting for autaphagy and for trauma i recommend grieving and emotional processing therapies for pyshcological integration. Life can be normal. I went thru extreme trauma and had asd but God has carried me thru it and has helped me immensely. Jesus is our biggest helper and friend. Dont go through life alone, God is there and is willing to help you ask for wisdom and seek out a relationship with Him !
I was diagnosed with pdd-nos at 12, an old diagnosis for asd, back in the 90s. I'm convinced that it's not genetic, at least no more than susceptability. Imo, it's early life isolation, particularly social, combined with parents who gaslight us about their emotions.
I.e. My mother always told me she was just tired, whenever she went on a passive aggressive tyrade. She kept me isolated, apparently for lack of a babysitter who would do nights while staying awake. I assume it's for lack of a convenient babysitter within the first 3 she tried, knowing her.
Compare the symptoms with Failure to Thrive, and you'll find it 1 symptom off.
My mum often said to me , you dont look well today ! I can tell by your eyes 😢
I suffered with anxiety and other mental health issues, all my life .
My parents taught my siblings and I . Eye contact when we were children. But since my trauma. My eyes are doing other things lately. Super watery, blurred vision, and constant blinking !
I have this, and I have used it to keep out of trouble numerous times. It has also been quite effective in getting people to leave me alone.
Thank you Tim. From Nigeria. I experience 95% of these but now in a reduced intensity. Love your videos ❤
Bro, I don’t even look in a mirror. I shave in the shower, telling myself I’m already wet and soapy. I keep a wash-and-go haircut. Eye contact is something I avoid, even with myself.
I often can't look at myself in the mirror, no idea why ? I had a haircut few yrs back, and I wouldn't look in mirror at the style, anyone know why I feel this way ?
@@andrewrees8749 for me it’s internalized shame. I’m working Codependency Anonymous and Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families. I have to” restore the emotional losses of childhood” (CoDA intro) and be my own loving parent (ACA). I’ve gone through years of grief and am starting to come out the other side. It’s not easy work, but it’s better than feeling like sh!t and having no hope.
Horrific to hear I hope you get the help you desire or deserve to have this eye contact you desire with yourself cheers
Hugs to you
@@andrewrees8749 I had the same problem ever since adolescence started. I learned it's called toxic shame from childhood neglect, and the only way I've gotten better is healing my inner child and learning to love myself more. It's taken two years for me to get comfortable with it and it completely changed my identity and confidence. I hope you start to heal yourself even though it's really hard if real love wasn't modeled to you. Cheers for everyone who's healing in the comments ❤️❤️🩹
We can also find falsehood in the eyes of others and be scared that they will know that we saw it
YES
Yeah. It's scary.
I saw evil in the abusers eyes.
I think eye problems may also be part of trauma. My hyper vigilance has made my eyes constantly over tired. I have been short sighted since I was young and it makes sense because I feel exhausted from examining every detail. Over time I've actually blurred out life beyond 3metres away. It helps prevent a level of overwhelm to just shut life out.
I wish people could understand that people who look most "normal" are not always healthy.
My father was an eye doctor and he didn't want to treat my continuous blinking when I was 9 yo because I was as "neurotic" as my poor aunt. I still don't know if he ever realized he married the toxic sister but I saw the same "far away eyes" in three pictures of his mother who died after delivery of my father's youngest brother. My father was the first born and he was 9 years old when his mother died.
My grandfather remarried and after I realized about my narcissistic mother's little secret; her malignant narcissism, I realized all my grandparents offsprings married narcissistic couples. Except for one, all of them were males and they all married covert vulnerable malignant narcissistic women who passed the curse to the next generation.
In most cases, the first born was the golden child no matter if it was male or female... check your ancestors pictures if you have them because you can find clues about their lives.
Very interesting observations from Tim. Thank you 🙏
As someone with face blindness I don't look people in the face because I can't tell what I'm looking at. I can tell by people body language or how they sound. The face tells me nothing but that they have the regular eyes,nose, and mouth. I can't even describe what I look like.
Bug eyes mentioned
(Bulging eyes)
Graves disease immune system attacking the eye tissue and the thyroid.
So it’s not necessarily trauma if someone has bulging eyes or staring eyes.!
I became a violent masochist to overcome my abuser.
So I guess I have the intimidating eyes.
So much we've missed.
I worked in a warehouse when I was a teenager, and one time a coworker about my age asked me what was wrong with my eyes. I had no idea what he was talking about and have always wondered what he saw.
Another time, I was in therapy, and my therapist was talking with me about my relationship with women, and suddenly one of my eyes just started twitching uncontrollably.
At the very least, it's interesting how it all manifests in a physical form. I wonder what I might look like without it.
I’m not necessarily refuting any of this, but these descriptions of eyes & eye contact can be applied to other conditions, as well. Accept it if it resonates, but also consider other possibilities like neurodivergence, health conditions, depression….
I have all those trauma signs. Its funny because I'm Irish and as a child everyone always complimented me on my 'sallow' skin......!!
I tend to study people to get feedback if they are accepting me or not. I have tried to stop this but it's automatic and makes people feel uncomfortable. I try to forcefully avert my eyes so as not to look so intensely but that looks weird too.
I relate so much to this! It seems like I'm danged if I do or danged if I don't lollll!!❤❤❤
I'm near sighted and some days are too exhausting that I take off my glasses so I don't have to pay attention to anything. The world is blurry and I can just dissociate from it all.
Could you do a video on which portray you may be dealing with the dark triad?
My abusive mother was always telling me how "sallow" my complexion was.
I see alot of this really hard to know whats the reality though as people are rarely honest with me in this regard as to not hurt my perceived feelings and if they are honest it kind of comes out all frustrated and harsh which i carnt really learn from or take any meaningfull responsabillity for the more and more i go threw life the more I realise everyone has a little bit of thease issues it can be hard to make momentum as everyone is an island from my perspective people have so many expectations of each other that its better to be in isolation then to feel burdensome assosiation but you loose your sense of being able to transcend anything without feeling like it doesnt stick or that is wasnt quiet good enough there are so many variables to people thease days that it might have been none of it at all and just that society is unempathic when it come to percived faults in others i tend to look at how society is stuctured very illusinary most people are doing there best they can it just comes out pressure tainted were all misguided alot of the time and carnt orientate our selves in reality authentically therefore our trajectory is stunted alot of compromise leaving a sense that life become sacrificial boiling alive in warm water the eyes are a way to see into the soul apparently and most souls are being tortured there isnt the opposite avenue for people an offer of peace and understanding not even from therapy without being financially crippled
how much of cptsd is misdiagnosed as autism now?
Interesting isn’t it? I thought my avoidance of eye contact must be the autism. But I’m actually both audhd and I have complex trauma. I notice there is a lot of crossover between the two. Symptoms of autism that are also symptoms of the trauma.
@@South_Heat it is genetic or is it trauma induced? we know TBI can give all kids of weird behaviors from schizophrenia to dementia.
its quite odd how almost 80% of audhd people have bad childhoods.
my guess is feminism killed the discussion as it would be career suicide to claim mothers arent perfect.
@@alexmannen1991 Yes such a good point. My doctor was suggesting something like this recently that there is a link between my childhood trauma and having audhd and ehlers danlos. We really still understand so little about how this all works.
Is there such a thing as psychopath eyes?
Yes. It can be very hard to tell the difference between a normal or caring person who has trauma in the eyes vs an evil person’s eyes. Both experienced trauma. One can be helped the other cannot.
@@triplejmom7826 Evil is not innate, it comes from trauma. There is no such thing as an evil person, it's a traumatized person.
@@triplejmom7826 Someone who has trauma cannot be a normal caring person.
@@Ganeden999people are not inherently good. Watch a bunch of toddlers and it shows. We naturally lie, hit, and do not want to share. We are taught not to do those things. The fact there is trauma demonstrates that as well
@@Ganeden999- There is such a thing as a person who chooses to do evil. They aren’t immune to responsibility just because their decision to do evil was influenced by their trauma. Even without trauma people can still choose evil over good and we see that from the beginning of Genesis onwards.
Sunglasses everywhere all night all day
1000%
Blessings from Sweden 🇸🇪
Just happened with me, 3 girls just out of school all cuddling and peering into their phone and giggling...they came round the corner and they jumped and almost froze...I just said 'beautiful' and kept on walking 🥰
😳💀💀