I lived in addiction for 23 years and it was a never ending battle. Countless times in and out of jails and institutions. I would be court ordered to see a counselor or therapist. After talking to these people over and over they all had suggestions about what I should do but none of them could show me how to stay sober. I would see this one counselor and he obviously had his college degrees and degrees in psychology. He was a smart guy he knew all about depression and anxiety he knew all the medical terms to speak on the topic. But I would look at him and ask what did you do to get out of addiction? He couldn’t answer because he had never experienced an addiction problem before. I would talk about his car that he had parked outside and ask him what if you didn’t have a drivers license? Would we really be having this conversation right now? How would you get to work? Would you be willing to ride a bicycle? Or walk? Perhaps hitchhike? No probably not he would say. Those were some common problems that I was dealing with. One thing I learned about the hard way is it doesn’t matter the extent of your education or what classes you are certified in. You can have as much knowledge as needed to do anything. But if you can’t get 10 or 20 miles to work what good is all that knowledge doing for you. These were some common questions I had asked him that he didn’t have a good answer for. It was difficult for me to take advice from someone who had his knowledge from a book rather than had experience with an addiction. I was after several years later introduced to a recovery program. And I didn’t think that there was any thing that they could say or do that would help me stay sober and help me with my current life’s problems. But when I had arrived to the program. I saw people that I knew. People that had been in addiction and situations just like I had. The staff members knew exactly what they were talking about because they had all lived in addiction and been homeless and in an out of jails just like I had. It was then seeing them find a way to live happily while clean and sober that gave me a spark of hope. Wow if he can do it I can to I would think to myself. That was a turning point in my recovery. Today I have almost 4 years clean and sober and working as a peer recovery support specialist in a treatment facility. Sometimes it’s that hard love that families have to give in order for the addicts to reach rock bottom in their addiction. They need to lose hope and people who enables them. Family members stop giving your son’s or daughters or loved one money no matter how much they continue to beg and try to manipulate you saying they are hungry. If they are hungry give them food or purchase it for them don’t give them money they will use the money to buy drugs no matter how hungry they are the mental obsession of addiction always wins. My family had after many years of trying to get me help or just thought they were helping me by giving me money cut me off the bank was closed they said. Unfortunately I had to depend upon my self to support my addiction which caused me to break the law and get arrested. While in jail my attorney suggested that I go to rehab. After spending time in jail it sounded better than the alternative which I was facing. It was then that I was able to receive help. I would have never thought that getting arrested was in fact what most likely put events in motion that saved my life. Today i help addicts with the 12 step programs and I also encourage them to find their own path to recovery that works best for them. The end goal is about saving lives by helping addicts learn how to stay clean. Notice I didn’t say get clean. We have to learn how to stay clean in order to survive.
Excellent, excellent video!! Thanks to your advice from other videos, we did the things you suggested and got our 20 yr old daughter into treatment last fall. Was very stressful, and at times felt frantic. But I thoughtfully did the research, verified insurance, and had a list of places. Even the intake reps were surprised at my knowledge and questions I asked. All thanks to you and what you’ve shared! And so true, timing is key! I’m thankful my husband pushed that we take her the very next day. My mother’s heart, now that she had returned home, wanted to keep her there a little longer, but hugs, holding her, watching movies on the couch and talking with her was not the help she needed. She’s now in Aftercare sober living and going to get her 9 month chip next month. So proud of her. Now, I just wish her dad would learn and listen from your channel.
Hello Amber One of the early points is that you should not expect the other person to be jumping for joy and saying "Wow!! I am so excited to improve my life by going to treatment!! I can't wait to have fun at the treatment center!" All you have to do is sense that the wall of resistance is gone which indicates a willingness to get help.
My son did all the complaining when he was in treatment. He would tell me the centre facilities were substandard, other clients were giving him their meds, all the counsellors were bad. As a parent this is so distressing to hear… especially when you just spent 30k. I offered him another treatment centre to go to, never coming back home. He stopped complaining and finished his program.
Thank you so much! I had to learn it the hard way, but when I said it’s enough and all I will do to help you is take you to rehab now, is when he agreed to go to rehab. The place was 3 hours away and he tried to not go but we didn’t give him the opportunity to change his or our mind. We had the place waiting for him and ready to take him in. He has been in rehab for a year now and is getting ready to leave. Thank you for giving us hope and not letting us feel alone in the chaos that it is to live with a loved one with an addiction! May God bless you both!!💖🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
If your friend or loved one is associating with people who are addicted to some sort of narcotic or addicted to alcohol, eventually they are going to be talking to or standing near someone who is using hard drugs. Do you want your loved one to meet them in a controlled setting such as a treatment center or in some randomly selected dark alley at 1 am?
Encourage the good behaviors. "I'm so glad that you enjoy working at your current job. I'm proud of you for making such a big downpayment on a car. " No one enjoys the pessimist who rains on your parade by saying "I knew you would fail after a few good months. I don't know if you can make it to six months sober."
What do you do when you’ve set everything up, gotten the loan for treatment, bed is ready, you do the intervention and your adult son tells you you have now ruined his life bc his wife is filing for divorce bc he isn’t going to treatment and he’s decided he wants no relationship with you from now on?
Oh I know that whale so well ! Lol and that no good fish line ! I can say the stars had to line up before my son was mentally out of his mind and couldn't find himself , it all happened so fast , so much happened in less than a year then the last 3 months was 24/7 crazy and dangerous , He became sick from covid and the overdose of drugs , laid on the coach for 10 days after his 3rd wreck which in total was 10 vehicles ,was in and out if jail and court before he fell sick ,became a little sober and was freaking out about all that had happened and what he was faceing , He said I've got to go somewhere ! I need God in my life ,I can't take it no more , I skipped work took him to the judge and had him ask what he had to do to go to treatment , judge said pay 610 and good luck ,sign the guilty line of DUI ,He looked at me and I said call the man that is going to bring you right now ,! He did ,man said I'll be there in 20 minutes , I. Gave the money , we drove straight to the house and I thru clothes in trash bags and man was in the drive way ! I loaded the man's car and opened the door for my son and said love you and said give it your best becouse I'm sure this is your last chance to not go to prison or die , He still looked really sick but was in total fear of detoxing but just as fear of 8 years in prison , he called from the holding house crying in cold turkey with drawl ,terrified ! He was sent to the boot camp with in 7 days , he left his phone with me before he left , I met them at the place that was almost 3 hours away , we had to set thru service and all then I he had to convince them he really wanted help ! It didn't take much by just looking at him and then when they ask what drug do you take and he said everything ! He couldn't tell them what year it was ,how old his doughter was , they told him the only way they would let him stay was to put everyone on the black list ,no visits no calls ect , he said I'll do anything ! The guy looked at me and said I don't think he can have a lower bottom he is really broken ! They we're worried about seizures but said they would watch him close ,209 men there of all ages , I finally seen him in 30 days he was better but was like no memory and leg shakeing and finger tapping ,nails chewed off ect. But they kept him so busy he didn't ever know what day it was , I can say with no substance at all he started acting some what the person I knew after 3 months , and was the happiest I had seen him in 12 years ! It's been 7 months and he is still sober , meeting every morning at 6am and 2 nights a week and half day Sunday ,every 2 weeks he returns to the boot camp for a day , he had memory loss from over doses and TBI injury's but his life and mine are soooo much better , things are not easy ,he is still faceing everything he left in mid air but at least he knows there will be an end date to all the repairs he has to make ! His biggest and probly the only reason he has made it is connection with 200 men that some he still sees on a daily , and talks to many others and is with at all his meeting ! Yes it has taken a Army ,but I can say he never once wanted to leave ! Yes he was at his bottom mentally and physically ,that's what it took for him to go and not use for 7 months , I'm praying for 7 + 7 + 7 ect. Years of sobriety for him ! It's been a really long hard road for us all ,And yes we made so many enableing mistakes along the way ! It's hard to talk to a crazy person or past out person , I can say I'm still not over the anxiety it dealt me , And the praise of all the positive does help him much , It didn't get that way over night and it doesn't go away over night but we his family talk only of today and future in a normal way , if he wants to bring something up we just listen and sometimes Lough and say how happy for him and us ! Like I said the stars had to line up ! We are lucky at this time ,and it is one day at a time , He just recently took Tylenol for a sinus infection , he does not want to take anything that looks like a pill or powder , He says he has to only be with like minded people that are on his same journey ,There are many that fall right back in 2 weeks out after the 6 month stay , Anything he says he wants to do that's positive we say ya sounds good and try to help him achieve the goal , I can also say you can see how everything thing seems strange to him , Starting at 15 thru 27 he lost alot of learning years and he knows it . We just tell him that's a normal part of what he has been thru and cheer him on ! Is it normal for me to feel exhausted still everyday ? Serious question 😓😬
@@PutTheShovelDown Thank you for helping with my sanity and finding the pieces to put my heart back togeather ! Your channel and someone talking to me was a make or break it for me , I loughed ,cryed , greived, tryed my best to not care , be a cheer leader , parole officer ,counselor , friend , ect. Even state trooper in persuit ,lol I often wonder when it helped and when it didn't ! But his state ifind I'll never know but I've learned so much!
What if they don’t insurance but you are willing to send them and pay out pocket. How long will it take to get them there. We are talking about 33 adult.
Well, drug or alcohol addicts don't grow up in the middle of a corn field. They grow up learning the behavior from their mother, father, uncles, and older siblings. So when somebody decides to go sober and he decides to take some distance from the addict in the family then the rest of the family might show some rebuttal about that reality check that they are faced with.
Don't fall for fake scare stories or fake sob stories. Tell the person to bring up their grievance with a staff member. It should be a staff member that can be neutral and dispassionate about the matter.
Hi Amber, This is a bit off topic. But can’t two play at the game of gaslighting?? He claims his phone never rang when I called 3 times and left a voicemail. “Never got them”, he says. How convenient, because he was probably secretly drinking somewhere. Well, I can play that game right back. Next time he calls or texts and wants a reply, “Sorry, never got it.” Our phones must not be working right, oh well. Why would that be wrong?? Why doesn’t the ‘get a taste of your own medicine’ approach work? I can just as easily make him question his own thinking/sanity, that perhaps he’ll realize the alcohol is affecting his brain.
Good question. It is true that the other person might deserve to get a taste of their own medicine. But, you have to ask yourself what your goal is… if the goal is revenge, then I say go ahead. If the goal is to Move the person toward sobriety, then I’d say no. Getting back at him, won’t move him in the direction of change. It will likely trigger resentment, which distracts from the real problem.
My husband does the same thing. Constantly! It’s frustrating because I know it is a safety issue that he is drinking be driving but I don’t know where he is. I am tempted to call the police. I feel anxious with the whole when am I getting the call? He is dead or hurt or killed someone. Sucks
@@PutTheShovelDown yes. It’s starting to contribute to my own health issues from the stress. I have had to really focus hard on me, and you and you team have helped big time. Me y husband is out again as we speak. Didn’t say he was going anywhere just went. But I don’t ask anymore. I don’t wait for him. I lock the door and go to my own bedroom. He knows no drinking here. No booze here. He is in control of his money now. It sucks because it’s like I thought I married one person and he isn’t him anymore. He also thinks what he is doing is normal. Because everyone drives around with open booze in the car for hours? Right?
I really needed to hear this. My son is also mentally ill and he cuts. That has made it more difficult for me to do this. I'm afraid he will kill himself.
Steven had all that and went back to drugs! We have a lot issues with him. I am trying to get him to go back to halfway house. He don’t have a job. He is felon and worked in an office and don’t want to work in factory or work hard in manual labor. Very frustrating.
My son too but my son is 44... Recovery Impatient, AA meetings, and Serious Chronic Physical conditions all as a Result of Alcoholism have not worked yet...we are Powerless over another Person and their choices, and it absolutely must be my son's decision otherwise we the family will become the " Problem" we must stay out of the way as much as possible or we will be the target for Everything....This is as you know, a No Joke Disease....I wish you the Best!✌️💕
I can understand how frustrating that would be. However, don't discourage him. Let him know that it's great that he wants to work in an office. It's a better job and it's better for his recovery. And let him know that you admire the fact that he is willing to do the work to overcome his legal history.
10 Things Your Kid Will Tell You To Get You To Take Them Out of Treatment: th-cam.com/video/MfkRiQl1SjM/w-d-xo.html
I lived in addiction for 23 years and it was a never ending battle. Countless times in and out of jails and institutions. I would be court ordered to see a counselor or therapist. After talking to these people over and over they all had suggestions about what I should do but none of them could show me how to stay sober. I would see this one counselor and he obviously had his college degrees and degrees in psychology. He was a smart guy he knew all about depression and anxiety he knew all the medical terms to speak on the topic. But I would look at him and ask what did you do to get out of addiction? He couldn’t answer because he had never experienced an addiction problem before. I would talk about his car that he had parked outside and ask him what if you didn’t have a drivers license? Would we really be having this conversation right now? How would you get to work? Would you be willing to ride a bicycle? Or walk? Perhaps hitchhike? No probably not he would say. Those were some common problems that I was dealing with. One thing I learned about the hard way is it doesn’t matter the extent of your education or what classes you are certified in. You can have as much knowledge as needed to do anything. But if you can’t get 10 or 20 miles to work what good is all that knowledge doing for you. These were some common questions I had asked him that he didn’t have a good answer for. It was difficult for me to take advice from someone who had his knowledge from a book rather than had experience with an addiction. I was after several years later introduced to a recovery program. And I didn’t think that there was any thing that they could say or do that would help me stay sober and help me with my current life’s problems. But when I had arrived to the program. I saw people that I knew. People that had been in addiction and situations just like I had. The staff members knew exactly what they were talking about because they had all lived in addiction and been homeless and in an out of jails just like I had. It was then seeing them find a way to live happily while clean and sober that gave me a spark of hope. Wow if he can do it I can to I would think to myself. That was a turning point in my recovery. Today I have almost 4 years clean and sober and working as a peer recovery support specialist in a treatment facility. Sometimes it’s that hard love that families have to give in order for the addicts to reach rock bottom in their addiction. They need to lose hope and people who enables them. Family members stop giving your son’s or daughters or loved one money no matter how much they continue to beg and try to manipulate you saying they are hungry. If they are hungry give them food or purchase it for them don’t give them money they will use the money to buy drugs no matter how hungry they are the mental obsession of addiction always wins. My family had after many years of trying to get me help or just thought they were helping me by giving me money cut me off the bank was closed they said. Unfortunately I had to depend upon my self to support my addiction which caused me to break the law and get arrested. While in jail my attorney suggested that I go to rehab. After spending time in jail it sounded better than the alternative which I was facing. It was then that I was able to receive help. I would have never thought that getting arrested was in fact what most likely put events in motion that saved my life. Today i help addicts with the 12 step programs and I also encourage them to find their own path to recovery that works best for them. The end goal is about saving lives by helping addicts learn how to stay clean. Notice I didn’t say get clean. We have to learn how to stay clean in order to survive.
Excellent, excellent video!! Thanks to your advice from other videos, we did the things you suggested and got our 20 yr old daughter into treatment last fall. Was very stressful, and at times felt frantic. But I thoughtfully did the research, verified insurance, and had a list of places. Even the intake reps were surprised at my knowledge and questions I asked. All thanks to you and what you’ve shared! And so true, timing is key! I’m thankful my husband pushed that we take her the very next day. My mother’s heart, now that she had returned home, wanted to keep her there a little longer, but hugs, holding her, watching movies on the couch and talking with her was not the help she needed. She’s now in Aftercare sober living and going to get her 9 month chip next month. So proud of her.
Now, I just wish her dad would learn and listen from your channel.
I'm so proud of you! You're a star student! 🤩⭐⭐⭐👑
Hello Amber One of the early points is that you should not expect the other person to be jumping for joy and saying "Wow!! I am so excited to improve my life by going to treatment!! I can't wait to have fun at the treatment center!"
All you have to do is sense that the wall of resistance is gone which indicates a willingness to get help.
You really get me! 💜💜💜💜💯💯💯
My son did all the complaining when he was in treatment. He would tell me the centre facilities were substandard, other clients were giving him their meds, all the counsellors were bad. As a parent this is so distressing to hear… especially when you just spent 30k. I offered him another treatment centre to go to, never coming back home. He stopped complaining and finished his program.
Thank you so much! I had to learn it the hard way, but when I said it’s enough and all I will do to help you is take you to rehab now, is when he agreed to go to rehab. The place was 3 hours away and he tried to not go but we didn’t give him the opportunity to change his or our mind. We had the place waiting for him and ready to take him in. He has been in rehab for a year now and is getting ready to leave. Thank you for giving us hope and not letting us feel alone in the chaos that it is to live with a loved one with an addiction! May God bless you both!!💖🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thanks Doris!
This is so good! I needed to hear exactly what y’all shared today.
So glad!
EVERY TIME I would call a treatment center, no matter WHERE I CALLED, they told me my daughter MUST CALL HERSELF!
If your friend or loved one is associating with people who are addicted to some sort of narcotic or addicted to alcohol, eventually they are going to be talking to or standing near someone who is using hard drugs.
Do you want your loved one to meet them in a controlled setting such as a treatment center or in some randomly selected dark alley at 1 am?
Amen Sister!
🌷 Thank you, again!
Our pleasure!
Encourage the good behaviors. "I'm so glad that you enjoy working at your current job. I'm proud of you for making such a big downpayment on a car. "
No one enjoys the pessimist who rains on your parade by saying "I knew you would fail after a few good months. I don't know if you can make it to six months sober."
Bingo! You're absolutely on target!
What do you do when you’ve set everything up, gotten the loan for treatment, bed is ready, you do the intervention and your adult son tells you you have now ruined his life bc his wife is filing for divorce bc he isn’t going to treatment and he’s decided he wants no relationship with you from now on?
Oh I know that whale so well ! Lol and that no good fish line ! I can say the stars had to line up before my son was mentally out of his mind and couldn't find himself , it all happened so fast , so much happened in less than a year then the last 3 months was 24/7 crazy and dangerous , He became sick from covid and the overdose of drugs , laid on the coach for 10 days after his 3rd wreck which in total was 10 vehicles ,was in and out if jail and court before he fell sick ,became a little sober and was freaking out about all that had happened and what he was faceing , He said I've got to go somewhere !
I need God in my life ,I can't take it no more , I skipped work took him to the judge and had him ask what he had to do to go to treatment , judge said pay 610 and good luck ,sign the guilty line of DUI ,He looked at me and I said call the man that is going to bring you right now ,! He did ,man said I'll be there in 20 minutes , I. Gave the money , we drove straight to the house and I thru clothes in trash bags and man was in the drive way ! I loaded the man's car and opened the door for my son and said love you and said give it your best becouse I'm sure this is your last chance to not go to prison or die , He still looked really sick but was in total fear of detoxing but just as fear of 8 years in prison , he called from the holding house crying in cold turkey with drawl ,terrified ! He was sent to the boot camp with in 7 days , he left his phone with me before he left , I met them at the place that was almost 3 hours away , we had to set thru service and all then I he had to convince them he really wanted help ! It didn't take much by just looking at him and then when they ask what drug do you take and he said everything ! He couldn't tell them what year it was ,how old his doughter was , they told him the only way they would let him stay was to put everyone on the black list ,no visits no calls ect , he said I'll do anything ! The guy looked at me and said I don't think he can have a lower bottom he is really broken ! They we're worried about seizures but said they would watch him close ,209 men there of all ages , I finally seen him in 30 days he was better but was like no memory and leg shakeing and finger tapping ,nails chewed off ect. But they kept him so busy he didn't ever know what day it was , I can say with no substance at all he started acting some what the person I knew after 3 months , and was the happiest I had seen him in 12 years ! It's been 7 months and he is still sober , meeting every morning at 6am and 2 nights a week and half day Sunday ,every 2 weeks he returns to the boot camp for a day , he had memory loss from over doses and TBI injury's but his life and mine are soooo much better , things are not easy ,he is still faceing everything he left in mid air but at least he knows there will be an end date to all the repairs he has to make ! His biggest and probly the only reason he has made it is connection with 200 men that some he still sees on a daily , and talks to many others and is with at all his meeting ! Yes it has taken a Army ,but I can say he never once wanted to leave ! Yes he was at his bottom mentally and physically ,that's what it took for him to go and not use for 7 months , I'm praying for 7 + 7 + 7 ect. Years of sobriety for him ! It's been a really long hard road for us all ,And yes we made so many enableing mistakes along the way ! It's hard to talk to a crazy person or past out person , I can say I'm still not over the anxiety it dealt me , And the praise of all the positive does help him much , It didn't get that way over night and it doesn't go away over night but we his family talk only of today and future in a normal way , if he wants to bring something up we just listen and sometimes Lough and say how happy for him and us ! Like I said the stars had to line up !
We are lucky at this time ,and it is one day at a time , He just recently took Tylenol for a sinus infection , he does not want to take anything that looks like a pill or powder ,
He says he has to only be with like minded people that are on his same journey ,There are many that fall right back in 2 weeks out after the 6 month stay , Anything he says he wants to do that's positive we say ya sounds good and try to help him achieve the goal , I can also say you can see how everything thing seems strange to him , Starting at 15 thru 27 he lost alot of learning years and he knows it . We just tell him that's a normal part of what he has been thru and cheer him on !
Is it normal for me to feel
exhausted still everyday ?
Serious question 😓😬
Of course you feel exhausted. You're on an emotional rollercoaster everyday. 💔
@@PutTheShovelDown Thank you for helping with my sanity and finding the pieces to put my heart back togeather ! Your channel and someone talking to me was a make or break it for me , I loughed ,cryed , greived, tryed my best to not care , be a cheer leader , parole officer ,counselor , friend , ect. Even state trooper in persuit ,lol I often wonder when it helped and when it didn't ! But his state ifind I'll never know but I've learned so much!
What if they don’t insurance but you are willing to send them and pay out pocket. How long will it take to get them there. We are talking about 33 adult.
that definitely removes one roadblock, but you still want to research what treatment center you want and also have a back up incase there isn't a bed.
AA is Free
What do you do when your spouse says he wants to go to rehab, but only outpatient, and continues to drink?
Well, drug or alcohol addicts don't grow up in the middle of a corn field. They grow up learning the behavior from their mother, father, uncles, and older siblings. So when somebody decides to go sober and he decides to take some distance from the addict in the family then the rest of the family might show some rebuttal about that reality check that they are faced with.
Don't fall for fake scare stories or fake sob stories. Tell the person to bring up their grievance with a staff member. It should be a staff member that can be neutral and dispassionate about the matter.
Great advice!
Hi Amber,
This is a bit off topic. But can’t two play at the game of gaslighting?? He claims his phone never rang when I called 3 times and left a voicemail. “Never got them”, he says. How convenient, because he was probably secretly drinking somewhere.
Well, I can play that game right back. Next time he calls or texts and wants a reply, “Sorry, never got it.” Our phones must not be working right, oh well.
Why would that be wrong?? Why doesn’t the ‘get a taste of your own medicine’ approach work?
I can just as easily make him question his own thinking/sanity, that perhaps he’ll realize the alcohol is affecting his brain.
Good question. It is true that the other person might deserve to get a taste of their own medicine. But, you have to ask yourself what your goal is… if the goal is revenge, then I say go ahead. If the goal is to Move the person toward sobriety, then I’d say no. Getting back at him, won’t move him in the direction of change. It will likely trigger resentment, which distracts from the real problem.
My husband does the same thing. Constantly! It’s frustrating because I know it is a safety issue that he is drinking be driving but I don’t know where he is. I am tempted to call the police. I feel anxious with the whole when am I getting the call? He is dead or hurt or killed someone. Sucks
It's so hard to live in fear. 😓
@@PutTheShovelDown yes. It’s starting to contribute to my own health issues from the stress. I have had to really focus hard on me, and you and you team have helped big time. Me y husband is out again as we speak. Didn’t say he was going anywhere just went. But I don’t ask anymore. I don’t wait for him. I lock the door and go to my own bedroom. He knows no drinking here. No booze here. He is in control of his money now. It sucks because it’s like I thought I married one person and he isn’t him anymore. He also thinks what he is doing is normal. Because everyone drives around with open booze in the car for hours? Right?
Can you please address sibling closeness in recovery?
I really needed to hear this. My son is also mentally ill and he cuts. That has made it more difficult for me to do this. I'm afraid he will kill himself.
He been several times!
Steven had all that and went back to drugs! We have a lot issues with him. I am trying to get him to go back to halfway house. He don’t have a job. He is felon and worked in an office and don’t want to work in factory or work hard in manual labor. Very frustrating.
My son too but my son is 44... Recovery Impatient, AA meetings, and Serious Chronic Physical conditions all as a Result of Alcoholism have not worked yet...we are Powerless over another Person and their choices, and it absolutely must be my son's decision otherwise we the family will become the " Problem" we must stay out of the way as much as possible or we will be the target for Everything....This is as you know, a No Joke Disease....I wish you the Best!✌️💕
I can understand how frustrating that would be. However, don't discourage him. Let him know that it's great that he wants to work in an office. It's a better job and it's better for his recovery. And let him know that you admire the fact that he is willing to do the work to overcome his legal history.