I'd never had a smear campaign until the narc. Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Couldn't believe some couldn't see through it. Dispicable. Thank you for this really important post.
Hello I love your name ☺️📛🙏. The smear campaign took me by surprise when two different narcissist I'm related to did the smear job to me . Years later some of it was told to me as if I was guilty or it was true by a fool guy I met & saw briefly. So much pleasure narcs get out waiting for their evil plots to hit ya and have an affect to negatively hit you. Sadly much of it is truly the narcs on going jealousy of how precious 💞 & special empaths like you really are & their madness likes to control & abuse the empath as EXSTREME anger 🤬 & manipulation because they are the opposite of the empath. That's part of what I see. Being focused out meeting healthy 🌟💕 new people or great new relatives & let it push & press the narc out & not have any hold or any more current affects is very good for us empaths. May GOD 🙏🌹💝 wrap you up in - remind you of his great & deep love and continual good plan & purpose to bless you & others with daily. In my Lord JESUS 😇🥰🙏❤️ powerful name I pray for you to be free , empowered healed & also know more love 💝 & healthy 🌟😁 relationships that bless ya ☺️❤️ & restore ya , until you have very good love & care & the Narcissist HATEFILLED attacks & events are hard to even recall & cause you no more hurt but joy & thanks giving for good friends family relationships and many fulfilling experiences & Good sweet memories you are blessed by 😘💖🌞🙏😅 & share it & enjoy it greatly, Amen !!!!!!!!!!
The people who follow them at thier word are useless people who have no ethics and morals. The BEST thing for you is to have them pointed out to you so they cannot backstab you without you catching on
April sky what's awesome is people start seeing truth for themselves when you don't defend and don't explain. Tons of people start to leave and get tired of being around the narc and hearing your name over and over. With time many people start to see the truth for themselves
I have battled these evil narcissists for my entire lifetime and I am flat out tired of the stress and the toll it takes on my health. Therapy tests say I have a type of avoidant disorder (avoid other people and places and isolate by myself). Small wonder I haven’t completely lost my mental faculties!
Some of us do tend to be attracted to needy people. In addition to this awesome channel, you may want to look at video's on finding your own self worth. Those too are helpful to me. They will help with setting boundaries and guidelines in your life. Just a thought. Peace
Kindness: Do not allow them to drain you. Practice the "GREY ROCK METHOD." This means that you no longer react. You "respond" instead. For example, if the Narc says, "You look tired." You can respond by being silent or you could say, "Probably," and then change the subject. Get them to talk about themselves. This way your giving them attention, which is supply and you are not reacting to them emotionally. Remember, they are sadistic douche bags that thrive on hurting others. It's awkward at first because if you have been raised by Narcs or have spent too much time in their company, you have been conditioned to "react" because this is how they get supply. Take your power back! Learn to be responsive rather than reactive. No arguing, defending or explaining. Never confront them. Limit your time in their presence as much as possible. Remember, they need "you," you do not need them! Do not allow them to define you in any way. Keep those boundaries strong! They will always test them. Take care of your needs. Put yourself first. Be respectful but assertive. Be prepared to walk away. When they smear you...Be Silent. Keep calm and carry on. No defending or explaining. Lead by example and keep your head up.
Know your truth! When others judge or smear you it says a lot more about them then it does about you. Live a life of dignity and respect. Take the high road. Let people talk. Turn a deaf ear to gossip and hate. Know that you have already won! Stay true to you and hold your head high. By having the courage and strength to leave you are a survivor and they know it! Remember in time the truth always comes out. Victory is ours. Keep moving forward on your healing path full of love and appreciation. We are so much more then the false narrative they spread and as long as we know it that's all that ever matters 💪💛 Great Video Andrew.👏
Thank you 💛 Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarrelling Proverbs 20:3-7 God sees and hears all. Continue to walk in faith and pray for peace and light to guide your way.🙏✨🕊️
Yes, this was my experience too. It was a HARD pill to swallow. But I'm now OK..thank God. And I only care now about what I think. I sleep well at night knowing I am a good person and only my opinion of myself matters.
Stay strong Michelle. I too can't believe I drank the juice. LOL. We are stronger because of them. It's just not the ideal way of gaining strength right?
You are SPOT on!!! Mine is losing. He will steal the smallest thing. Lie about the stupidest things, feign injury or illness. His Yo-Yo isn't springing back up and he has to admit defeat! I'm the winner of a game I was forced to enter! Make no mistake, it is The Kingdom we fight for! It's worth the fight and defeat is not an option! HALLELUYAH!
Great topic. Thank you. This happened to me and was the last one to find out what she did (smear campaign). It was horrible. Not just for me but for my son as well. The narcissist only has thought’s for themselves. Just horrible creatures
Same for me. It was unbelievably painful. I felt victimized and couldnt do a thing to stop it. That time period was a very dark time. I ended up in therepy to help me through it. I had such anger inside of me.
I wholeheartedly believe that when they are picking us out for their new supply, they already know what they're going to do to us, it's all an evil game to them. A conquest. And nothing can compare to the smear campaign. It was like having my reputation murdered. People avoid me like the plague because of the lies and the rumors. The good news is, once you become educated and know what a narcissist is, you can get them out of your life and avoid them at all costs. They're nothing but evil leeches and they will suck every last drop of life out of you.
The smear campaign against me began whilst I was with my ex and he underestimated the loyalty of my old set of friends for me.Those who invole themselves in smear campaigns are as equally weak minded as the narsscasist bully and ultimately it's our opinion of ourselves which matters. Andrew I am sincerely sorry this happened to you or anyone else because this amounts to mass bullying of the worst kind and the shame is on them. May you stay blessed.
Very true but before, when possibly we were uneducated about the narcissist, we were manipulated by the narcissist...they are very good manipulators....but thankfully the truth always comes out. You're so blessed to have loyal friends that the narcissist didn't try to isolate you from and that could see through the narcissist lies. Smart on you for picking these friends and keeping them in your circle! Thank you for sharing! ❤
@@jennie7599 Thank you and I am truely blessed to have loyal friends. I'm the first one out of my circle to fall prey to a narsscasist and a couple of them have since and the narsscasists involved have all come a rude awakening in their exposure. Whatever your own situation is, I send to you all good wishes on your lifes journey.
This one is gold. Thank you Andrew. I had everyone and even my own family lined up against me. After a 30 year marriage I was a “Goldigger”. Paid a heavy price to get free. No regrets. I used to say.. I’d rather live in a ditch then live like this. Many years later. now. Everyone understands. But it was incredibly rough. Stay true to your self people.
I can't believe that the Narc stories are so deep and so wide. There is more than meets the eye To brighten your day, and give you another look at what seems to be a huge picture. Mine promised me 22 yrs ago, marriage, still not married When I met him said he was broke, loved not for Gold or silver. Time flies. I become the beggar. If I look like I'm about to ask for something the stare says,,, Didn't I already tell you I'm broke!! LmaO. Now see life's not that bad. There is no such thing as a pot of gold at the end of s rainbow actually I don't know if a rainbow has an end.
I HAPPILY lived off tuna and oatmeal for a while after leaving mine. My life felt so lovely after leaving. Now I'm successful and have a great apartment etc :)
This is the most painful example in my life of smear campaign. I had a good friend named Katie. She was battling cancer. I noticed that she started to act distance towards me. I was naive. I thought it was the cancer. As the days passed, she was treating me more like an enemy rather than a friend. One day she brings up Ruth who is a total malicious malignant narcissist. I said Ruth is toxic. Katie had a rage fit because she was defending Ruth. Since I didn't know anything about narcissism at the time, I reacted. We argued. Katie told me about the smear campaign Ruth said about me. I told her my side. Eventually she believed me. It hurt that she didn't come and ask my side when Ruth first lied to her about me. I have forgiven her. After all her judgment was impaired because of the cancer. Katie shortly after our argument, she went into a coma. Then died. If Ruth didn't do the smear campaign, I could spent quality time with Katie before she died. Ruth robbed me about 6 months. Karma does exist. Katie did find out that truth. Ruth created much chaos and pain to others. She is truly hated in the community in which I live. She moved away. Her children and grandchildren don't have a relationship with her because she is toxic. She misses them. She is the most unhappiest person I know. She brought it on herself because she is her own worst enemy. She tried to Hoover me years later. Thank God. I had some knowledge about narcissism. I immediately blocked her.
One of the most eye opening experiences came from someone who said of the Narcissist,"They talk sh*t about everyone. Even you!" That stuck with me, because I really didn't see a reason for them to be speaking poorly of me. But here is the deal, it's true... everyone is seen as beneath them. No one gets to be special. They are competing with you and triangulating you with others. Of the people that left the Narcissist because they said they were toxic and giving them anxiety ,"We left on good terms." No you didn't! You THOUGHT you left on good terms... but they were always looking down on you. A Narcissist is a Narcissist 24/7. You were devalued long before you were discarded by them, or by the time you felt the need to move on. Of all the people who said they left on "good terms" I heard the other side of it from the Narcissist. Whether there were truths, half truths, or full blown lies... these people easily dupe others because most people can not see them for what they are. I certainly didn't. No two Narcissists are the same. Clearly some are more sinister than others. Some are just buffoons. That said, not everyone who hears a lie from a Narcissist believes them... some just want to avoid the drama and get on with their own life and goals. In my case the Narcissist(s) have already made a terrible reputation for themselves. You give them enough rope, they will hang themselves eventually due to their disordered and hateful thinking. All that "pretending to care" stuff is exhausting and they deeply resent others for having to wear the mask. They will trip on their own outrage and they will choke on it as well.
💯 🎯 When narc already has a terrible reputation they quickly learn people aren't buying what their selling and for their flying monkeys that do Adios! Those that are meant to stay will stay in spite of the lies and those that don't were never meant to stay long term in the first place.
I went silent on the narcissist and effectively cut them off then people stopped talking to me. It was just like you say, I felt I was alone and lost by myself in the middle of the sea
Doesn’t care for people that only listen to one side. I still feel like a winner because I have my kids to support me since our divorce. He can be happy with his coworker that he cheated with. His belittle or criticism doesn’t bother me anymore. I see my worth now and grateful to have my kids by my side.
The isolation is crushing. The lies told about you, absolutely enraging. There is no way to un-ring those bells. I've learned to comfort myself with the thought that at the end of the day the entire truth will be known. The damage and distortion will be laid bare for all to see. The narc will not escape their number one fear: exposure.
They are parasites 🦠 There blood suckers. Once they’ve taken you for everything they can then comes the discard. Then they move on to their next victim. He’s even trying to smear me to my son. I’m just so glad he’s gone. I’m still healing eight years after the discard. We are the winners!! Thanks so much Andrew👏😎💗🙏🧘♀️💪
Absolutely true. I now know that my only support system is me, relatives, friends and wife all gone but I still believe it was for the best. Being surrounded by toxic people is not better than being alone, being alone does not mean being lonely; it is an opportunity to learn and for personal growth. Have a great day, onwards and upwards!
I had some tears today, just for a few brief minutes, and it was like releasing frustration. I was so bottled up. I can tell also I don't have that flight or fright grip on me anymore keeping me in knots. Things haven't changed on the outside and life has its difficulties and struggles for me, but I have more of a sense of well-being internally than I have had in a long time.
@@donnahazlett7305 god bless you too I came out of the fig Donna today I feel full of life like how stupid I was it was pure misery for me every 100 days ther might of been one I miss my son that is the darkest hand hardest feeling but I have hope and plenty of love it’s bursting out like I’ve never felt stay in track with the videos and educate you will get ther your already over half way believe the eat your soul you have done the hardest bit ✌🏽😎❤️🩹
@@stevenkimpriktzis4322 Hope and love, that's awesome. I hope someday your son will see the truth and the two of you can have a healthy relationship. We suffer so much loss and pain from the narcs, but you're right it will get better. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found Andrew's TH-cams and the people in here. I was out of the relationship for a long time, but I didn't know how to heal. Now everyday is getting better and I'm moving forward.
This video hit home for me. It's been 35 years since my divorce and you described my situation exactly. The smear campaign was unbelievable...... My ex went to every church member, our pastor, family and even my mother and convinced everyone that he was a victim and I was crazy and unfit. He Even convinced my own mother that he was the friend to her- not me- her own daughter. it was disgusting and the damage to the relationships of people I thought cared about me was shocking. Darkest days of my entire life. Thank God I had ONE friend who stood by my side and never gave up on me. Thank you for explaining it so clearly. I finally can put a label on this horrendous experience.
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and not try to defend yourself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best ignore them and find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy coward bums ever win.
Thank God we now have the internet, and many great YT channels like this one, where we can communicate with each other. I've found it extremely beneficial 💜💜
I met my ex in 1970, married in 1972 and divorced in 2003 and for all that time, it was a campaign. it's clear as a bell now. He knew I didn't know what a narc was. he probably didn't know either but I was manipulated from day one, in so many ways.I was already broken from growing up with a narc mother, so I was easy prey. I know there was a smear campaign that goes on to this day with our children and grandchildren. But the toxicity was staggering and made me very sick in the end and now I have an ongoing health issue. But emotionally, I am so much better and he can say whatever he wants to about me know and I just don't care. The people who truly know me, ignore him.
My ex had been undermining me for years,I was completely unaware what she was doing.She complained behind my back about everything about me .I was lazy ,she carried everything ,I helped little with the household and the children.She manipulated my family especially my mother and father against me.The lightbulb moment came when we had financial problems and I asked my father the one and only time ,could I borrow a small amount of money.He replied he would give my ex some money for free, but I would have to payback half of money that I needed.It took years before I realised this smear campaign.It went on for years.I am still shocked at how she got away with it and my ignorance.My aunt visited once and said I worked hard and didnt appear lazy, I sort of looked perplexed at her comment.These narc people are pure toxic and evil.
Was looking for something to help my wife get through this exact thing with her ex. Unbelievable that we found this. Man, you are spot on. So great to receive excellent advice from someone who's been through some shit and has an examined life. Keep up the good work. You are one of the greats. Peace my brother, and thank you.
It's beautiful Paul that you have the love and care in your heart to walk beside and support your wife as she moves forward on her healing path. It's a reminder that there are good people out there 💛
I agree, ty for reminding myself and this community that there are supportive people out there, like you, who are willing to learn about the abusive narcissist and help your loved one in the healing process. I'm glad you both found this channel too! Andrew is spot on with these videos... ty for sharing!❤
@@BlessedChosen7 I agree 💯. That's what it is all about. Coming together for the greater good of the relationship to help each other grow through the good and the bad❤️
I have been surrounded by narcissists my entire life. From my family of origin to my ex wife to my so called friends. I have purged all of them. One year later and I am wondering: where are all the authentic people? I met a nice guy the other week, had fun talking with him then I met his girlfriend and my narc radar went into full alarm bells, no point trying to get to know him further. My previous experience has shown that when a couple includes a narcissist you as the outsider will be immediately smeared by the narc and the next time you see them the non narc will be slightly reserved. So are there any authentic people out there with no narcissists in their life?
Yep, planed seeds and smear campaign. I was in the island all by myself. Exactly, no help at all. Families and friends didn’t want to get involved and took the narcissist side. Even my oldest daughter, 28 now took his side and said “she did not want to get involved”. My youngest daughter will turn 21, and I just need to be strong to take care of her and myself. 😪
There was one flying monkey I had forgotten about, and boy did he come out of the woodwork with the smearing lol. Thank God I've learned so much from your videos where even though this is a crazy situation I'm experiencing and not something I'm comfortable with, I know in the end I will be stronger while the narcissist gets weaker, amen
The narc wakes up after the smearing because they realise they didn’t win because your still smiling … your smiling because your out of it and they wake up because they know theve lost you… they didn’t win anything and your not going back and they know it 🌸
We wake up every morning smiling because we are grateful to be free and embrace all the endless possibilities that our freedom has to offer each and every day💛💪😊
One of the many benefits of going thru an abusive narc experience is that it is an excellent filter for your true friends. The odds are pretty good that you also attracted similar friends if you attracted the narc as a spouse/partner. Time to let them go. You now get to rebuild your team based on a strict new set of rules that you have drafted from blood, sweat, and tears.
The smear campaign was brutal and I still don't know the full extent of it. When I tried to reach out to "friends", I was told they wanted nothing to do with me because I was a "psych job" that needed serious psychiatric help and medication! I was also told that "he had wanted rid of me for years" by another family friend. This was post-relationship in very dark and distressing times. It was like so many nails being banged into my coffin, as if I wasn't distressed enough. I didn't know about narcissism then and I was so shocked to realise he had been "planning" this perhaps for years. It was like being re-abused by others on his behalf. But I am aware now and have stronger defences, so that is a win.
@@thrivingnow7395 Indeed. The narc husband's smear campaign really took a toll on me. I felt so much shame and avoided going places. And it's sad when people you thought were your friends side with the narcissist. I chose not to respond and pray that one day he is exposed for the cheater and liar that he is.
@@hazeleyes2381 same here JJ. I stopped going anywhere where we knew people. It was so humiliating. I lived in a village for about 8 years, but I haven't been back since due to the humiliation and not knowing how he has "played" my departure. So very sad really.
Andrew I experienced the smeared campaign and it was awful, horrible, vile! Tears 😢 were many! I wasn't prepared for such terrible degrading rumors... I was crushed... After going through the fire 🔥 and survived, I'm so happy that it ended... Everything was a fake, thank God 🙏 that I researched this demonic behavior! My discard was plotted, I just didn't see it coming... I don't wish this on anyone... I love you, blessings ❤ 🙏 Namaste 🙏
Just went through this with a sister! She's turned my other two sisters against me and it's been brutal! It's been the most devastating thing I've ever been through! I didn't realize she was a narcissist until the last incident and now I can look back over the years and it's crystal clear!
Your true friends always shine thru because if they know and love you they will see right thru a smear campaign. Good friends won’t ride to stupidity. Keep your circle small snd only share feelings with people who know and love you … one thing for sure you will find out who’s friend or foe 🌸
Exactly 💯 People come in and out of our lives for a reason. It is the ones who stay until the end that were the ones that were meant to be there. For the ones that leave we have to look back on the positive and/or negative life lessons we learned from them with gratitude and appreciation because they all helped to shape who we were, who we are and who we are meant to be in one way or another. 💛
Had the smear campaign b4 my narcissist x discarded me. I became so depressed I had to seek treatment. While in a facility my narcissist sisters burglarized my home. After confronting her I went through another smear campaign, her telling everyone I was crazy. It’s so infuriating it really is. After much education I’ve learned I’m an empath I was scapegoated by my malignant narcissistic father. I believe I blocked most of this stuff out as I cannot remember most of my childhood. I have always suffered from insomnia & depression and now I know why. I was targeting by so many narcissist it’s unbelievable. They only wanted to use me for something. I’ve been well educated now & try to help people who have been abused by these monsters. Thank you for sharing with the world. I’m so sorry you or anyone is targeted & used & abused. It’s so disgusting, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Anyone who feels there isn’t please hang on because there is.
Hey Andrew I had to watch this one a few times throughout the day today. Even though I was expecting the smear campaign..... actually going through it, is a whole other thing. I wish I could say that I was fortunate to have had knowledge and educated myself in advance that this was probably, and more than likely, going to happen, but this is definitely one case where the anticipation does not outweigh the reality. I hope you realize the extent of the impact you have on keeping us sane, and saving us, as someone else is trying to destroy us. I've watched many channels, and read an astounding amount of information on this before I found you. Although, I learned a lot, I never got the comfort, support, and validation that you are able to give. You have the gift of making such a horrible situation a little better. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 😘
So true.. sometimes I say things like “he won’t change” or “he’s evil” around my mom or other family members (7 years later) now no contact.. And they think I’m over exaggerating or being weird .. they just don’t understand…
Thanks for this one Andrew 💕 the smear campaign is brutal! The ringleader for me (flying monkey) was my oldest sister. I damn near had a nervous breakdown! I’m four years now no contact with my narc mom and 2 sisters. I’ll never forget that first Christmas shortly there after..my kids were at their dads and I sat here alone with no family. If you ever question whether the narc loved you...let the smear campaign be your answer. It’s a NO! Love your channel Andrew, enjoy your night xo
Its sickening, I can relate. Has been going on a long time. Thank you, you are right! No contact, as much as possible, but always on the prowl , waiting to plot. The worst. Sick.
This is happening now , after 8years no contact.She has painted herself like an angel .Called us narcissist and that we are the most toxic people on earth.Brought tears again but I m not falling for it. She caused us to much pain and we are not going back that route.Blessings to you Andrew .
I was born into a smear campaign and grew up believing that a "family" is a naturally hostile environment. I grew up isolated from her families. Took 6 decades to catch on to the game.
You are absolutely right! This is an evil thing they do , kick you when you’re down! A few years after our marriage ended and badly, sex abuse, bankruptcy, affairs, he had the nerve to make up stories about me to friends! I was the one who lost all of myself in the relationship , giving, and giving. He made up stories that I never would do anything for him and that’s why we divorced, not his actions, of course he denied everything. I had no clue how evil this person really was , they are really good at putting up a psuade , and blame shifting to turn children and friends against you. Thanks for bringing up this topic! It’s a sick game, I pray he dies before me, because he will try to destroy my character to my family and everyone I know, even though they know who I am, he has a way of seeming like he has it all together because of his money. It’s very hurtful and painful. God Bless!
Keep moving forward and continue to rebuild a new happier narc free life. People come and go but when we know our truth and have faith we will be able to survive any storm that comes our way with dignity and grace 💛
The side eye look. The campaign is real you'll feel it while I'm the families presence. Worst is not knowing what's in their minds. You start feeling insecure.
That's so true. Before my marriage ended I noticed a funny feeling when around certain people or they looked at me differently. Of course I had no idea then what he was doing. I did feel very insecure.
A desire for success on its own is not narcissistic. Exploiting others, selling your soul and having no morals makes a person a narcissist. I do desire to win over the narcissist but I still want to help people and be a good man.
Hits home.....wrote 5 devotionals and refound nature. Really tempted me[ even still ] to become cynical, resigned, haughty. If the Bible did not exist, i would have not been able to keep on mentally, physically, or spiritually.
Exactly where I'm at isolated and yes tried to reach out to people and get ignored. My dad was murdered by cops and the smear campaign so I get it just waiting to see what happens
It’s almost unbelievable when you find out they are smearing you because you still have that thread of hope that they wouldn’t do anything so cruel as to lie and try to take your friends and family away from you !! Then you really see them for who they are and remember times when they have smeared other people to you during your relationship to appear as a victim when in fact they were the perpetrator. If I fell for it for 20yrs, how can I be upset that some of my friends and family fell for the lies too. The truth always prevails we just have to remind ourselves of that and be patient. This was a fantastic subject. Thank you
Thank you again for your spot on videos. This was one of the hardest parts for me (still is) - being painted as the abuser, cheater, etc. I lost people I thought were my friends but I live my truth and know otherwise. They may “win” but in reality we are the true winners - they are gone from our lives and no longer using and abusing us. Good riddance is where I am finally at!
These people never grew out of the " playground bully" which was their peak. They re stuck, can t progress. Have to have a win at all costs to save face, manipulate, devalue, cover jealousies and disappointments and destroy what they fear... their true selves and motives. Some of them have a lot to lose if the truth gets out
GOOSEBUMBPS!!!!!! THANKS A THOUSAND TIMES FOR THIS!!! Living through a smear campaign initiated by the very person who destroyed your spirits, hearing them flip the whole story and make you the villain, while you were literally gasping for breath and finally walking out with your head high, not giving a fuck about them and their flying monkeys and the lies they spread, seeing people recognize the real snake and reach out to you is the bestest thing ever and i dont know how to thank you for putting these into words!! Thanks bunch!!!!!
Unfortunately, yes I experienced this with the pos narc. I honestly never thought such evil could exist..I still have dark days, darker than anyone can imagine. But I tell myself, God is looking out for you and is putting people like you Andrew in my path, to educate me and give me strength to keep going, to come out of this a winner.
Two of the worst smear campaigns waged against me were accomplished by narcissistic women who happen to work in sales. They are very successful salespeople. I am heartbroken by the behaviors of narcissistic people, but I am mortally crushed by their ability to beguile and deceive friends and family.
Yep, he embellished events and left vital key important information out that made him look like a victim. All his friends disliked me, even tho I never met most of his friends. He would tell me "my friends tell me to leave you", I couldn't understand why, now I do. He cannot accept himself as he truly is. His four adult children don't speak to him either do any of his grandchildren, he treated everyone like crap. He is going to be a lonely old man, or maybe he'll be blissful being all alone. I'm grateful for my children and the awesome friends I have in my life...... the smear campaign is brutal and hurts like hell. I've got to share one more thing, the people that he respects and treats very well are people with money and prestige, his best friend is a criminal law judge and other people here in California with prominent positions.... those are his dear friends.
Smear campaign has been going on since 2019 on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. attorneys have filed a cease & desist and a TRO and yet just today eight hours after she got the TRO another bashing on FB. It just never ends. Exhausting 😩
Myself being a victim (as a child) grew with doing (anything, physically, mentally and sexually) from a young age just wanting attention and validation. I'm 61 now and FB is as triggering to me as reality. It attacks my nervous system and I have no interest I'm it whatsoever, now. Waiting for a thumbs up is still waiting for validation and no contact goes for media as well, what I don't see or read isn't sucking up my hardwork with me undermining myself. All the best.
My ex to a tea, says the most horrific things about all of their exes and if you ever ask them "why did you break up?" 9/10 they say "i don't know" or "they were crazy"...yeah, no. The smear campaign is the worst, I went through it and it was so isolating.
It's so true when I was dismissed from my job 4 years ago, my ex boss did a smear campain afterwards and I was no longer invited to the events I would normally go with my co-workers, what hurt the most is I lost complete contact with them and I asume 100% is because of my covert narcissitic boss. Ive moved on ever since, my life is different and much better, but I cannot help but notice the intentions of my ex boss, the way I see life changed forever!
Yip Andrew! Spot on! Smeared and made out to be the worst person ever! 😳 It still continues and will most probably forever. It was horrible as if the discard was not enough😂 There is a wonderful beautiful things that happens though...No longer will I rely on another human being for my truth, my validation, my security, my decisions or choices. The answers and true support will come from inside of me. And then the true friends that align with my truth. Lets be honest, the ex narc circle of friends and family were fake and was controlled by the narc. Do I want to be with people who are still puppets to the narc and or are in general the type of people that are in it for themselves? No 👌👌👌 !! Thank you for an excellent video Andrew....just brilliant!😇👊😀
You're 100% right. When I finally left my husband he acted confused and so upset. We live in different states. He is in Washington and I am in Oregon. Five months into our divorce he comes to visit me. He was so sad and even had tears. He didn't want the divorce but he wanted me to continue living in Oregon and he would continue to live in Washington. I told him I wanted the divorce. I told him I have enrolled for college and I would start classes in 2 weeks and if I stopped the divorce it would ruin everything in my life. His answer with hugh tears and looked so confused said " You've changed and I don't know you anymore." My answer was " thank you. That's the nicest thing you have ever said to me." I will never forget the look on his face. So he just made a scene leaving to let all the neighbors know he was upset with me. I told them not to be concerned. He just throwing a fit like a two year old because he didn't get his way. We have been divorced for 42 years and he is still trying to be the good guy. My daughter pass away 5 years ago. At the funeral he put his hand on my shoulder and then he said me and me and you created reated something beautiful together. I slapped his hand off my shoulder and told him to never touch me again. My son-in-law saw it and pulled me towards him because he was afraid I would make a scene. I didn't but I did make it clear a later. I told him he was nothing and to stay out of my life. So he goes to back to Washington to his his girlfriend of two weeks. I got a Facebook post from her telling me I was so awful making Chuck feel so unwelcome and because of me no one made him feel welcomed. He was so hurt because I told him not to refer to my parents as mom and dad because they knew how he treated me and they couldn't stand him. He hasn't contacted me since the funeral. But, he has been busy with my family. Just a thumbs up on their birthday or commenting on anything they may have posted. The one he sent to my sister was unbelievable. He said he enjoyed talking to her and her husband. Telling her how smart her husband was regarding cars from the fifties and sixties. That's funny because when we were married he referred to my brother-in-law as a dumb hillbilly. The last line of his post is priceless. He told my sister we are still family right. Does the narcissistic ever give up trying to be the good guy?
Behind the curtain lies the wizard, scheming revenge upon anyone who sees the wizard for who they really are!! My God I have been around them my entire life and now I have to rewire my life to escape them, and everyone else that drinks their poison. I have to believe that in this day and age, with narcissists being exposed with videos like this, they are inching closer to the abyss of their own doing!! Good luck Ffffers!! Thank you for enlightening us Andrew!!
I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. Not just mates but friends. It IS isolating. The weird thing is, they'll claim they're HAPPY. I've never met happy people that go around doing mean things to people, and THAT is what makes them feel good. I've met disturbed people behaving like that. Not happy people. They seem to be getting everything they wanted, ANY THING a person could ask for ( cuz obviously people around them just want to hush the hissy fits and I've SEEN IT) the minute you say they need to be showing more gratitude towards their people giving so much to them, they freak out! They're completely mystified by it. I'm dealing with this right now. PLUS the triangulation. Between 2 people I had assumed were friends. Turns out they're both jealous, and just WAITING to play this last game with me. Well why not? My 30 year relationship is over, I'm isolated, everything is gone. Should be FUN! Cuz they're both doing well. Oddly I could have pulled this crap on either of them anytime I felt like it. Inflicting problems was never my goal. Maybe not always agree, but we can discuss, or agree to disagree. Now that I need a support system...... Island life, HERE I COME.
Definitely have and am still dealing with the smear campaign. As unfair as it is, I just try to realize I can't control people's perspectives of me - a bit of that old prayer, "God/universe help me with what is in my control, and would you handle the rest?". In the end, as you mentioned, the goal is finding that peaceful and drama-free life - that is the win. And for me, I recognize I'm the more solid person, because I don't have that inner storm that hurts someone to look/feel better (temporarily).
My ex did this to me big time, he stalked me and blamed on me, and turned friends against me, by being the victim. All lies. The worst part is that several people believed him, they don't know what a narcissist does. I did get a protective order against him for a year, he never thought I would do anything. Really working on my healing. Thank you for this information 💖
Remember Janet, our maker knows the truth and that's all that matters. I too have had to get a restraining order, was held at gun point for hours, etc. The county was with me through each incident. I held my inner strength tight to not lose my mind. I didn't have a choice but to be strong and God helped me through it trust me. Know that you are loved. Stay strong friend. We are your support team if you need us. This is a great channel.
One of my Narcs was a Supervisor. He did everything to smear me and get me fired. It hot so bad the Chief pulled him into the office and suddenly enough already "your board line putting us at risk for a harassment or hostile work environment case. He stopped officially but he trying to poke the bear. This went on for a long time. When I retired o had a great retirement party. A few years later when he retired he chose not to have one and made a comment "I don't think anybody will go". Come to find out later everybody hated this guy when I met my former coworkers for dinner. They told me he got another job at another department and nobody really talks to him. I retired i. Good standing and am now working for the State. A few of my work buddies joined me at our new department. Victory!!!!!
Absolutely spot on, Andrew. After 46 years of this, I left and have gone from a broken suicide attempt to a PhD student and living a good, creative, loving and peaceful life. Part of the Cost of Freedom was the loss of my adult children, who believed his Big Barrel of Bullshit. They took the grandchildren I'd loved and been loved by for 15 years. Hell awaits. But I was blessed with brothers who had known me since forever, and a cadre of long-time friends who knew my character and knew the truth. Thank God for them. I will spend my last decades as a free woman, a healing soul, and a good person. The smear campaign, like everything the narc does, is evil apparent.
This speaks to all circumstances that allows us to strengthen our radar and resilience...certainly, the pressures and exhaustion can feel very amplified when support is narrowed or absent. Yet, too much self shielding will make us softer and we have to face fears, learn and address properly(wisely). It can often feel like "battle after battle" Yet, we certainly aren't here in this existence, NOT to be challenged, for a {Higher Self-Awareness and Elevation with an Earned Respect and Responsibility that Accompanies with That...From the Fires} Thank you* Andrew for this ongoing ENLIGHTENMENT! 💚*🙏
Omgsh! Andrew thank you for this video. You have hit the nail on the head in each and every one of your videos. I am just about at the end of a 31 year marriage (going to divorce court in March). How I thought I could garner some support, after watching just about every single narc channel on TH-cam for the last year and have gotten thoroughly awakened… I don’t know. A temporary lapse, perhaps. But I quickly learned that there is no support to be had. The narc I was married to has commandeered EVERY SINGLE PERSON I have ever come into contact with and poisoned them. It’s shocking. My last hope was a minister that I thought would at least be neutral… no such luck. I am still waiting for him to “call me back”. It is unbelievable!!! This video just solidified my resolve that I am on my own. Thank goodness, I have gotten plenty strong in these last few years. Wish me luck in court fellow narc survivors.
They live to win and to control, and hate that you have broken free with every cell in their sick self. Make sure you have a good lawyer to protect you. I took me 3 years to get through it but it's finally done. Stay resolute. I promise it will eventually be over and you will feel like a released helium balloon! :)
I got the smear campaign from all corners. And when caught out it was of course all my fault and I was punished accordingly. He made a complete mess of me. When a lie was revealed it was always me that was punished. A few times I was confronted by the lies he had told, in a social situation -I would correct the details - so I was then the bad guy and not him who had lied so terribly and created a false identity of who I was. In that situation is was very sad because a lot of things came out that night while his friend was baiting me - he was someone I never liked and his wife was a silent type who would just drift in the background. I was always worried for her. So two narcissistic men. And me in the middle.
I had past with narcissist that I cooperated with only through phone and he only calmed down when he achieved to get me to be intimate with him and then when I didn't accept his certain conditions about relationship he dumped me. I dumped him actually but he provoced that himself. I think that was his plan from the begining so he looks innocent. You are right. All this thing is competition for them.
Yes Andrew, the narcissist in my life was married to my beautiful son, she love bombed him big time, in the beginning and throughout their life together, as needed. She moved in within the first 6 weeks, took over his home and then started, campaigning against me and anyone else that she didn't need to use at the time, who were close to my son, she even had my son believing bad things about me sometimes and I found I had to either explain myself after being questioned or walk away angry at him for thinking what he was told could be true, it was horrible. He lived with chronic pain after a terrible road accident, she was studying to be a nurse, such a good person, NOT, she wore my son down, disrespected his space and how he needed things so that he could function well. He liked to cook and ate healthily, he was no longer allowed in the kitchen anymore it was her domain, she loved to bake sweets, his cupboards were rearranged so that it was hard for him to manage, (one of his arms was paralysed) After his life with her, in the last few years before he passed away, when I visited, most of the time he couldn't get out of bed, his pain had escalated, I would have to kneel beside his bed to speak with him, very rarely did I see him alone, she would come sit on the bed behind him, he would often apologise then and say he was in too much pain and I would leave. On the rare occasions that I saw him and she was out, he spoke to me of how he had no access to money, how her mother came whenever she wanted, how she took over his home and how angry he was that I couldn't come to visit whenever I or he wanted. She has smeared my name and his sister's, and at their wedding and engagement party our family were ignored by hers and her friends, even when we tried to engage with them, the same at his funeral, it has been a terrible time for us and it's ongoing because she now has my son's, son, the most beautiful, empathic soul, such an amazing person in his own right, whom we love dearly and would do anything for, but she is doing a wonderful smear campaign on us all over again and love bombing him big time we are very concerned for him, but don't know what to do..Thank you Andrew I have questioned myself, wondered if I was going crazy, asking myself is this really happening?? your channel has helped me so much, if anyone can tell me what we can do for my Grandson who is 17, how we handle this situation in the best possible way, for his sake, I will listen to your advice....I have lost my son tragically, we don't want to lose his!
I remember the very first time 4yrs ago when in hindsight how things started to go wrong. I was waiting all dressed up looking and feeling good and attractive waiting for him as he'd invited me out. I waited... and waited... and waited... you get the picture? No communication from him no warning that he was going to be late, no apology. Nothing. Obviously after a while I called him. No answer. I called him again, still no answer. I left it a few hours after leaving a message saying I hope he's alright. Still no answer. I bumped into him a couple of days later and casually said hello, at which point he apologised saying he'd fallen asleep. If only I knew then what I know now that I was being 'groomed' I'd have walked straight back out. He told me his friends had warned him about me, people I'd never met, one even threatened me for hitting my Ex (my Ex punched me knocking me flying). Obviously he wasn't informed by my Ex why I did it. Yes, some people can be truly viscious in a smear campaign Andrew. I avoid people like that now and anything near it. 🍒
Thanks Andrew for this helpful and life affirming video. I'm just beginning to 'get' this now. After being brutally discarded and left reeling, I am on a new path to health and instead of trying to placate others I am waking up to my own considerable power. What a relief. I was shocked to the core but realised my part in it as too much of a people pleaser. Now I know how pleasant it is when you prioritise yourself instead of others.
How opposite of an empath. Kind people treat others how we want to be treated. We minimize the drama and try to save the dignity of others we choose to end a relationship with. DONT expect a narcissist to think like this. Andrew is right. They will focus on destroying your reputation and and self worth based on lies. They abuse you and try to get you ostracized from family and friends. They self project their sickness on you and spread lies and half truths. Don't take the bait. Dont waste your time defending yourself to them, others will see the truth in time.. Very Very Important topic Andrew! This tactic of abuse is serious and very painful until you realize what's going on. Ty❤
This is so true. I only noticed about 6months ago. With her work colleagues first. She denied it obviously. But since she left my world has become smaller and smaller. It’s hard but I got to keep pushing in 👍❤️🙃
Light Bulb MOMENT, Andrew. She made me think I was the narcissist . Painful lessons are learned on this channel. But, through this pain , I will grow . Thank You, Andrew. Thank You. Namaste!
My dad is a narc and smear campaigned me the past two years to all my family/ friends. I think he thought it was going to put me into a depression where he would dominate me and I would forever be the whipping boy in the family. All it did was awaken me to what's really going on and all of them being cut off. Back to the path of constant development I was on, no more wasting time with empty voids
Great job recognizing the situation and being the bigger person. My dad has done the same to me destroying my career and reputation. Jealousy, insecurity and hatred. I don't think he's really alive at all.
In the most despairing time of my life when I was packing up and leaving my marriage, one of his flying monkeys suggested I get a pedicure!!! 😂 my gosh just thinking about that now makes me laugh.. thank GOD I escaped the madness
Exactly. They have a mature person's intelligence that embelish the few basic emotions of a 2 year old child. So they use Jealousy, hate, selfishness, to their greatest extent
I never had a cue when I visited my sons family from the nark why thay had changed to an extent I could not get my head round an boyaz I got educates it all fell into place the smear campaign wow Andrew I'm so happy to have been endearing my sekf over the last 2 years ❤️
Love to all who have survived these awful people. You are strong and brave.
"Mentally unhealthy individuals " that shatter lives.😢
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I'd never had a smear campaign until the narc. Absolutely disgusting behaviour. Couldn't believe some couldn't see through it. Dispicable. Thank you for this really important post.
Welcome 🙏🙌☀️
Thanks for your vulnerability, it is healing to share❤️🩹
Hello I love your name ☺️📛🙏.
The smear campaign took me by surprise when two different narcissist I'm related to did the smear job to me . Years later some of it was told to me as if I was guilty or it was true by a fool guy I met & saw briefly.
So much pleasure narcs get out waiting for their evil plots to hit ya and have an affect to negatively hit you.
Sadly much of it is truly the narcs on going jealousy of how precious 💞 & special empaths like you really are & their madness likes to control & abuse the empath as EXSTREME anger 🤬 & manipulation because they are the opposite of the empath. That's part of what I see.
Being focused out meeting healthy 🌟💕 new people or great new relatives & let it push & press the narc out & not have any hold or any more current affects is very good for us empaths.
May GOD 🙏🌹💝 wrap you up in - remind you of his great & deep love and continual good plan & purpose to bless you & others with daily.
In my Lord JESUS 😇🥰🙏❤️ powerful name I pray for you to be free , empowered healed & also know more love 💝 & healthy 🌟😁 relationships that bless ya ☺️❤️ & restore ya , until you have very good love & care & the Narcissist HATEFILLED attacks & events are hard to even recall & cause you no more hurt but joy & thanks giving for good friends family relationships and many fulfilling experiences
& Good sweet memories you are blessed by 😘💖🌞🙏😅 & share it & enjoy it greatly, Amen !!!!!!!!!!
The people who follow them at thier word are useless people who have no ethics and morals. The BEST thing for you is to have them pointed out to you so they cannot backstab you without you catching on
April sky what's awesome is people start seeing truth for themselves when you don't defend and don't explain. Tons of people start to leave and get tired of being around the narc and hearing your name over and over. With time many people start to see the truth for themselves
A true act of love,I have been told,is to help others especially when we are suffering ourselves. God Bless you,Andrew,and thank you so much❤
Welcome 😌🙏💯
I have battled these evil narcissists for my entire lifetime and I am flat out tired of the stress and the toll it takes on my health. Therapy tests say I have a type of avoidant disorder (avoid other people and places and isolate by myself). Small wonder I haven’t completely lost my mental faculties!
Sending you positive energy and strength 💯🙌🙏
Love you! ❤
God bless you.🙏
Some of us do tend to be attracted to needy people. In addition to this awesome channel, you may want to look at video's on finding your own self worth. Those too are helpful to me. They will help with setting boundaries and guidelines in your life. Just a thought. Peace
Kindness: Do not allow them to drain you. Practice the "GREY ROCK METHOD."
This means that you no longer react. You "respond" instead.
For example, if the Narc says, "You look tired." You can respond by being silent or you could say, "Probably," and then change the subject.
Get them to talk about themselves. This way your giving them attention, which is supply and you are not reacting to them emotionally.
Remember, they are sadistic douche bags that thrive on hurting others.
It's awkward at first because if you have been raised by Narcs or have spent too much time in their company, you have been conditioned to "react" because this is how they get supply.
Take your power back!
Learn to be responsive rather than reactive.
No arguing, defending or explaining. Never confront them.
Limit your time in their presence as much as possible.
Remember, they need "you," you do not need them!
Do not allow them to define you in any way.
Keep those boundaries strong!
They will always test them.
Take care of your needs.
Put yourself first.
Be respectful but assertive.
Be prepared to walk away.
When they smear you...Be Silent. Keep calm and carry on. No defending or explaining. Lead by example and keep your head up.
Know your truth! When others judge or smear you it says a lot more about them then it does about you. Live a life of dignity and respect. Take the high road. Let people talk. Turn a deaf ear to gossip and hate. Know that you have already won! Stay true to you and hold your head high. By having the courage and strength to leave you are a survivor and they know it! Remember in time the truth always comes out. Victory is ours. Keep moving forward on your healing path full of love and appreciation. We are so much more then the false narrative they spread and as long as we know it that's all that ever matters 💪💛 Great Video Andrew.👏
Thank you Christine 💯🙏🙌
Well said
That's right. I agree 100%.
Thank you 💛 Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarrelling Proverbs 20:3-7 God sees and hears all. Continue to walk in faith and pray for peace and light to guide your way.🙏✨🕊️
Lovely sister 💕
Yes, this was my experience too. It was a HARD pill to swallow. But I'm now OK..thank God. And I only care now about what I think. I sleep well at night knowing I am a good person and only my opinion of myself matters.
Thank you for sharing 🙏💯🙌
Stay strong Michelle. I too can't believe I drank the juice. LOL. We are stronger because of them. It's just not the ideal way of gaining strength right?
You are SPOT on!!!
Mine is losing. He will steal the smallest thing. Lie about the stupidest things, feign injury or illness. His Yo-Yo isn't springing back up and he has to admit defeat! I'm the winner of a game I was forced to enter!
Make no mistake, it is The Kingdom we fight for! It's worth the fight and defeat is not an option! HALLELUYAH!
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It’s absolutely disgusting and people need to stop enabling them! They must and will be held accountable!
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You're right about that. They can fool mankind but God knows them by name.
@@angiestowe5136 Amen to that!
Great topic. Thank you. This happened to me and was the last one to find out what she did (smear campaign). It was horrible. Not just for me but for my son as well. The narcissist only has thought’s for themselves. Just horrible creatures
They are straight demonic and evil.
Same for me. It was unbelievably painful. I felt victimized and couldnt do a thing to stop it. That time period was a very dark time. I ended up in therepy to help me through it. I had such anger inside of me.
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I wholeheartedly believe that when they are picking us out for their new supply, they already know what they're going to do to us, it's all an evil game to them. A conquest. And nothing can compare to the smear campaign. It was like having my reputation murdered. People avoid me like the plague because of the lies and the rumors. The good news is, once you become educated and know what a narcissist is, you can get them out of your life and avoid them at all costs. They're nothing but evil leeches and they will suck every last drop of life out of you.
The smear campaign against me began whilst I was with my ex and he underestimated the loyalty of my old set of friends for me.Those who invole themselves in smear campaigns are as equally weak minded as the narsscasist bully and ultimately it's our opinion of ourselves which matters. Andrew I am sincerely sorry this happened to you or anyone else because this amounts to mass bullying of the worst kind and the shame is on them. May you stay blessed.
Thank you for sharing this Jean..🙌🙏☀️
100% true.
Very true but before, when possibly we were uneducated about the narcissist, we were manipulated by the narcissist...they are very good manipulators....but thankfully the truth always comes out. You're so blessed to have loyal friends that the narcissist didn't try to isolate you from and that could see through the narcissist lies. Smart on you for picking these friends and keeping them in your circle! Thank you for sharing! ❤
@@jennie7599 Thank you and I am truely blessed to have loyal friends. I'm the first one out of my circle to fall prey to a narsscasist and a couple of them have since and the narsscasists involved have all come a rude awakening in their exposure. Whatever your own situation is, I send to you all good wishes on your lifes journey.
You surely learn who your true friends are when they grab your hand as you fall into the abyss.
They see you at a weak point and try to hurt you further to make you suffer as much as possible. This makes them happy
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This one is gold. Thank you Andrew. I had everyone and even my own family lined up against me. After a 30 year marriage I was a “Goldigger”. Paid a heavy price to get free. No regrets. I used to say.. I’d rather live in a ditch then live like this. Many years later. now. Everyone understands. But it was incredibly rough. Stay true to your self people.
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙏🙌
I can't believe that the Narc stories are so deep and so wide. There is more than meets the eye
To brighten your day, and give you another look at what seems to be a huge picture. Mine promised me 22 yrs ago, marriage, still not married
When I met him said he was broke, loved not for Gold or silver. Time flies. I become the beggar. If I look like I'm about to ask for something the stare says,,, Didn't I already tell you I'm broke!! LmaO. Now see life's not that bad. There is no such thing as a pot of gold at the end of s rainbow actually I don't know if a rainbow has an end.
My heart goes out to you, fellow traveler.
I’m the same I keep saying I would rather live in a caravan than stay here
I HAPPILY lived off tuna and oatmeal for a while after leaving mine. My life felt so lovely after leaving. Now I'm successful and have a great apartment etc :)
This is the most painful example in my life of smear campaign. I had a good friend named Katie. She was battling cancer. I noticed that she started to act distance towards me. I was naive. I thought it was the cancer. As the days passed, she was treating me more like an enemy rather than a friend.
One day she brings up Ruth who is a total malicious malignant narcissist. I said Ruth is toxic. Katie had a rage fit because she was defending Ruth. Since I didn't know anything about narcissism at the time, I reacted. We argued. Katie told me about the smear campaign Ruth said about me. I told her my side. Eventually she believed me. It hurt that she didn't come and ask my side when Ruth first lied to her about me. I have forgiven her. After all her judgment was impaired because of the cancer.
Katie shortly after our argument, she went into a coma. Then died. If Ruth didn't do the smear campaign, I could spent quality time with Katie before she died. Ruth robbed me about 6 months.
Karma does exist. Katie did find out that truth. Ruth created much chaos and pain to others. She is truly hated in the community in which I live. She moved away. Her children and grandchildren don't have a relationship with her because she is toxic. She misses them. She is the most unhappiest person I know. She brought it on herself because she is her own worst enemy.
She tried to Hoover me years later. Thank God. I had some knowledge about narcissism. I immediately blocked her.
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One of the most eye opening experiences came from someone who said of the Narcissist,"They talk sh*t about everyone. Even you!" That stuck with me, because I really didn't see a reason for them to be speaking poorly of me. But here is the deal, it's true... everyone is seen as beneath them. No one gets to be special. They are competing with you and triangulating you with others.
Of the people that left the Narcissist because they said they were toxic and giving them anxiety ,"We left on good terms." No you didn't! You THOUGHT you left on good terms... but they were always looking down on you. A Narcissist is a Narcissist 24/7.
You were devalued long before you were discarded by them, or by the time you felt the need to move on. Of all the people who said they left on "good terms" I heard the other side of it from the Narcissist. Whether there were truths, half truths, or full blown lies... these people easily dupe others because most people can not see them for what they are. I certainly didn't.
No two Narcissists are the same. Clearly some are more sinister than others. Some are just buffoons. That said, not everyone who hears a lie from a Narcissist believes them... some just want to avoid the drama and get on with their own life and goals. In my case the Narcissist(s) have already made a terrible reputation for themselves. You give them enough rope, they will hang themselves eventually due to their disordered and hateful thinking. All that "pretending to care" stuff is exhausting and they deeply resent others for having to wear the mask. They will trip on their own outrage and they will choke on it as well.
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Spot on.
💯 🎯 When narc already has a terrible reputation they quickly learn people aren't buying what their selling and for their flying monkeys that do Adios! Those that are meant to stay will stay in spite of the lies and those that don't were never meant to stay long term in the first place.
"Pretending to care" well put. Ty for sharing. I definitely agree 👍
Yes they will self destruct
YES, that is so true 👍, they have to win 🏆xxxx regardless ,
🙏💯☀️
WHO have to win?????? The Narc's????????? OMG
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone WHO have to win in their Comment??????? The NARC'S?????
I went silent on the narcissist and effectively cut them off then people stopped talking to me. It was just like you say, I felt I was alone and lost by myself in the middle of the sea
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Doesn’t care for people that only listen to one side. I still feel like a winner because I have my kids to support me since our divorce. He can be happy with his coworker that he cheated with. His belittle or criticism doesn’t bother me anymore. I see my worth now and grateful to have my kids by my side.
Thank you for sharing Goldie 💯🙌💯🙌
Even close family seemed to have doubt of what was true or not. But Im taking my life back, day by day.
The isolation is crushing. The lies told about you, absolutely enraging. There is no way to un-ring those bells. I've learned to comfort myself with the thought that at the end of the day the entire truth will be known. The damage and distortion will be laid bare for all to see. The narc will not escape their number one fear: exposure.
They are parasites 🦠 There blood suckers. Once they’ve taken you for everything they can then comes the discard. Then they move on to their next victim. He’s even trying to smear me to my son. I’m just so glad he’s gone. I’m still healing eight years after the discard. We are the winners!! Thanks so much Andrew👏😎💗🙏🧘♀️💪
Welcome Paula 🙌🙏💯
Absolutely true. I now know that my only support system is me, relatives, friends and wife all gone but I still believe it was for the best. Being surrounded by toxic people is not better than being alone, being alone does not mean being lonely; it is an opportunity to learn and for personal growth. Have a great day, onwards and upwards!
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I had some tears today, just for a few brief minutes, and it was like releasing frustration. I was so bottled up. I can tell also I don't have that flight or fright grip on me anymore keeping me in knots. Things haven't changed on the outside and life has its difficulties and struggles for me, but I have more of a sense of well-being internally than I have had in a long time.
Sending strength and healing energy 💯🙌🙏
Keep going Donna you will get ther ✌🏽😎
@@stevenkimpriktzis4322 Thank you Steven. God bless you.🙏🌞
@@donnahazlett7305 god bless you too I came out of the fig Donna today I feel full of life like how stupid I was it was pure misery for me every 100 days ther might of been one I miss my son that is the darkest hand hardest feeling but I have hope and plenty of love it’s bursting out like I’ve never felt stay in track with the videos and educate you will get ther your already over half way believe the eat your soul you have done the hardest bit ✌🏽😎❤️🩹
@@stevenkimpriktzis4322 Hope and love, that's awesome. I hope someday your son will see the truth and the two of you can have a healthy relationship. We suffer so much loss and pain from the narcs, but you're right it will get better. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't found Andrew's TH-cams and the people in here. I was out of the relationship for a long time, but I didn't know how to heal. Now everyday is getting better and I'm moving forward.
This video hit home for me. It's been 35 years since my divorce and you described my situation exactly. The smear campaign was unbelievable...... My ex went to every church member, our pastor, family and even my mother and convinced everyone that he was a victim and I was crazy and unfit. He Even convinced my own mother that he was the friend to her- not me- her own daughter. it was disgusting and the damage to the relationships of people I thought cared about me was shocking. Darkest days of my entire life. Thank God I had ONE friend who stood by my side and never gave up on me. Thank you for explaining it so clearly. I finally can put a label on this horrendous experience.
Welcome always 🙏🙌💯☀️💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 12 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 38 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous and miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say about me I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker all bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroyed my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and not try to defend yourself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best ignore them and find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy coward bums ever win.
Thank God we now have the internet, and many great YT channels like this one, where we can communicate with each other. I've found it extremely beneficial 💜💜
I agree..💯💯💯
@@NARCDAILYYouAreNotAlone Thank you for your content 💜👏💜
I met my ex in 1970, married in 1972 and divorced in 2003 and for all that time, it was a campaign. it's clear as a bell now. He knew I didn't know what a narc was. he probably didn't know either but I was manipulated from day one, in so many ways.I was already broken from growing up with a narc mother, so I was easy prey. I know there was a smear campaign that goes on to this day with our children and grandchildren. But the toxicity was staggering and made me very sick in the end and now I have an ongoing health issue. But emotionally, I am so much better and he can say whatever he wants to about me know and I just don't care. The people who truly know me, ignore him.
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A fish doesn't know it lives in water.
Slow insidious destruction you don't see until removed from it. Prayers for you.
My ex had been undermining me for years,I was completely unaware what she was doing.She complained behind my back about everything about me .I was lazy ,she carried everything ,I helped little with the household and the children.She manipulated my family especially my mother and father against me.The lightbulb moment came when we had financial problems and I asked my father the one and only time ,could I borrow a small amount of money.He replied he would give my ex some money for free, but I would have to payback half of money that I needed.It took years before I realised this smear campaign.It went on for years.I am still shocked at how she got away with it and my ignorance.My aunt visited once and said I worked hard and didnt appear lazy, I sort of looked perplexed at her comment.These narc people are pure toxic and evil.
Thank you for sharing 💯🙏🙌
Was looking for something to help my wife get through this exact thing with her ex. Unbelievable that we found this. Man, you are spot on. So great to receive excellent advice from someone who's been through some shit and has an examined life. Keep up the good work. You are one of the greats. Peace my brother, and thank you.
Welcome Paul..🙌🙏☀️
It's beautiful Paul that you have the love and care in your heart to walk beside and support your wife as she moves forward on her healing path. It's a reminder that there are good people out there 💛
I agree, ty for reminding myself and this community that there are supportive people out there, like you, who are willing to learn about the abusive narcissist and help your loved one in the healing process. I'm glad you both found this channel too! Andrew is spot on with these videos... ty for sharing!❤
Love the way he says We! Concerning himself and the wife
@@BlessedChosen7 I agree 💯. That's what it is all about. Coming together for the greater good of the relationship to help each other grow through the good and the bad❤️
I have been surrounded by narcissists my entire life. From my family of origin to my ex wife to my so called friends. I have purged all of them. One year later and I am wondering: where are all the authentic people? I met a nice guy the other week, had fun talking with him then I met his girlfriend and my narc radar went into full alarm bells, no point trying to get to know him further. My previous experience has shown that when a couple includes a narcissist you as the outsider will be immediately smeared by the narc and the next time you see them the non narc will be slightly reserved.
So are there any authentic people out there with no narcissists in their life?
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌☀️
Yep, planed seeds and smear campaign. I was in the island all by myself. Exactly, no help at all. Families and friends didn’t want to get involved and took the narcissist side. Even my oldest daughter, 28 now took his side and said “she did not want to get involved”. My youngest daughter will turn 21, and I just need to be strong to take care of her and myself. 😪
I understand completely 🙌💯💯
There was one flying monkey I had forgotten about, and boy did he come out of the woodwork with the smearing lol. Thank God I've learned so much from your videos where even though this is a crazy situation I'm experiencing and not something I'm comfortable with, I know in the end I will be stronger while the narcissist gets weaker, amen
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The narc wakes up after the smearing because they realise they didn’t win because your still smiling … your smiling because your out of it and they wake up because they know theve lost you… they didn’t win anything and your not going back and they know it 🌸
We wake up every morning smiling because we are grateful to be free and embrace all the endless possibilities that our freedom has to offer each and every day💛💪😊
🙌🙏☀️😉
One of the many benefits of going thru an abusive narc experience is that it is an excellent filter for your true friends. The odds are pretty good that you also attracted similar friends if you attracted the narc as a spouse/partner. Time to let them go. You now get to rebuild your team based on a strict new set of rules that you have drafted from blood, sweat, and tears.
Well said Frogman 🙌💯☀️
I agree, well said.
Totally. Quality not quantity too
The smear campaign was brutal and I still don't know the full extent of it. When I tried to reach out to "friends", I was told they wanted nothing to do with me because I was a "psych job" that needed serious psychiatric help and medication! I was also told that "he had wanted rid of me for years" by another family friend. This was post-relationship in very dark and distressing times. It was like so many nails being banged into my coffin, as if I wasn't distressed enough. I didn't know about narcissism then and I was so shocked to realise he had been "planning" this perhaps for years. It was like being re-abused by others on his behalf. But I am aware now and have stronger defences, so that is a win.
Sad but true. You're describing the narc husband to a tee.
@@hazeleyes2381 It should become a criminal offense with consequences.
@@thrivingnow7395 Indeed. The narc husband's smear campaign really took a toll on me. I felt so much shame and avoided going places. And it's sad when people you thought were your friends side with the narcissist. I chose not to respond and pray that one day he is exposed for the cheater and liar that he is.
@@hazeleyes2381 same here JJ. I stopped going anywhere where we knew people. It was so humiliating. I lived in a village for about 8 years, but I haven't been back since due to the humiliation and not knowing how he has "played" my departure. So very sad really.
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙏🙌☀️
Andrew I experienced the smeared campaign and it was awful, horrible, vile!
Tears 😢 were many!
I wasn't prepared for such terrible degrading rumors... I was crushed... After going through the fire 🔥 and survived, I'm so happy that it ended... Everything was a fake, thank God 🙏 that I researched this demonic behavior!
My discard was plotted, I just didn't see it coming... I don't wish this on anyone...
I love you, blessings ❤ 🙏 Namaste 🙏
Just went through this with a sister! She's turned my other two sisters against me and it's been brutal! It's been the most devastating thing I've ever been through! I didn't realize she was a narcissist until the last incident and now I can look back over the years and it's crystal clear!
Sending healing energy and strength 🙏💯🙌
Your true friends always shine thru because if they know and love you they will see right thru a smear campaign. Good friends won’t ride to stupidity. Keep your circle small snd only share feelings with people who know and love you … one thing for sure you will find out who’s friend or foe 🌸
Exactly 💯 People come in and out of our lives for a reason. It is the ones who stay until the end that were the ones that were meant to be there. For the ones that leave we have to look back on the positive and/or negative life lessons we learned from them with gratitude and appreciation because they all helped to shape who we were, who we are and who we are meant to be in one way or another. 💛
Exactly 💯💯💯
Had the smear campaign b4 my narcissist x discarded me. I became so depressed I had to seek treatment. While in a facility my narcissist sisters burglarized my home. After confronting her I went through another smear campaign, her telling everyone I was crazy. It’s so infuriating it really is. After much education I’ve learned I’m an empath I was scapegoated by my malignant narcissistic father. I believe I blocked most of this stuff out as I cannot remember most of my childhood. I have always suffered from insomnia & depression and now I know why. I was targeting by so many narcissist it’s unbelievable. They only wanted to use me for something. I’ve been well educated now & try to help people who have been abused by these monsters. Thank you for sharing with the world. I’m so sorry you or anyone is targeted & used & abused. It’s so disgusting, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Anyone who feels there isn’t please hang on because there is.
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌
Hey Andrew I had to watch this one a few times throughout the day today. Even though I was expecting the smear campaign..... actually going through it, is a whole other thing.
I wish I could say that I was fortunate to have had knowledge and educated myself in advance that this was probably, and more than likely, going to happen, but this is definitely one case where the anticipation does not outweigh the reality.
I hope you realize the extent of the impact you have on keeping us sane, and saving us, as someone else is trying to destroy us.
I've watched many channels, and read an astounding amount of information on this before I found you.
Although, I learned a lot, I never got the comfort, support, and validation that you are able to give.
You have the gift of making such a horrible situation a little better.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 😘
Thank you for sharing this beautiful message JoJo.. welcome always 💯🙌🙏
So true. I am so much stronger than before. I have my inner peace.
🙏 Amen
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So true.. sometimes I say things like “he won’t change” or “he’s evil” around my mom or other family members (7 years later) now no contact.. And they think I’m over exaggerating or being weird .. they just don’t understand…
Thank you for sharing Samantha 💯🙌🙏
Thanks for this one Andrew 💕 the smear campaign is brutal! The ringleader for me (flying monkey) was my oldest sister. I damn near had a nervous breakdown! I’m four years now no contact with my narc mom and 2 sisters. I’ll never forget that first Christmas shortly there after..my kids were at their dads and I sat here alone with no family. If you ever question whether the narc loved you...let the smear campaign be your answer. It’s a NO! Love your channel Andrew, enjoy your night xo
Thank you for sharing this 🙏💯🙌☀️
Yeah, the siblings can get stuffed forever
Its sickening, I can relate. Has been going on a long time. Thank you, you are right! No contact, as much as possible, but always on the prowl , waiting to plot. The worst. Sick.
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This is happening now , after 8years no contact.She has painted herself like an angel .Called us narcissist and that we are the most toxic people on earth.Brought tears again but I m not falling for it. She caused us to much pain and we are not going back that route.Blessings to you Andrew .
Sending prayers and positive energy to you 💯🙌☀️
Stay strong Litza. Know that you are loved and have a support team right here on this channel. Andrew is amazing.
I was born into a smear campaign and grew up believing that a "family" is a naturally hostile environment. I grew up isolated from her families. Took 6 decades to catch on to the game.
You are absolutely right! This is an evil thing they do , kick you when you’re down! A few years after our marriage ended and badly, sex abuse, bankruptcy, affairs, he had the nerve to make up stories about me to friends! I was the one who lost all of myself in the relationship , giving, and giving. He made up stories that I never would do anything for him and that’s why we divorced, not his actions, of course he denied everything. I had no clue how evil this person really was , they are really good at putting up a psuade , and blame shifting to turn children and friends against you. Thanks for bringing up this topic! It’s a sick game, I pray he dies before me, because he will try to destroy my character to my family and everyone I know, even though they know who I am, he has a way of seeming like he has it all together because of his money. It’s very hurtful and painful. God Bless!
Keep moving forward and continue to rebuild a new happier narc free life. People come and go but when we know our truth and have faith we will be able to survive any storm that comes our way with dignity and grace 💛
Thank you for sharing Marcia 🙌🙏☀️
The side eye look. The campaign is real you'll feel it while I'm the families presence. Worst is not knowing what's in their minds. You start feeling insecure.
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That's so true. Before my marriage ended I noticed a funny feeling when around certain people or they looked at me differently. Of course I had no idea then what he was doing. I did feel very insecure.
Stay strong. YOU know the truth and that's what counts. You have a support team here on this channel.
When he ran off he told everyone I threw him out, even the people I had told about him and thought were my friends took his side when he left.
I understand completely 🙏🙌💯
A desire for success on its own is not narcissistic. Exploiting others, selling your soul and having no morals makes a person a narcissist. I do desire to win over the narcissist but I still want to help people and be a good man.
I moved thousands of miles away because the smear campaign was too hurtful for me to handle. This is a great video.
Thank you for sharing Kae..🙌💯🙏
Hits home.....wrote 5 devotionals and refound nature. Really tempted me[ even still ] to become cynical, resigned, haughty. If the Bible did not exist, i would have not been able to keep on mentally, physically, or spiritually.
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He played the victim since day one, I can recall that!
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Exactly where I'm at isolated and yes tried to reach out to people and get ignored. My dad was murdered by cops and the smear campaign so I get it just waiting to see what happens
It’s almost unbelievable when you find out they are smearing you because you still have that thread of hope that they wouldn’t do anything so cruel as to lie and try to take your friends and family away from you !! Then you really see them for who they are and remember times when they have smeared other people to you during your relationship to appear as a victim when in fact they were the perpetrator. If I fell for it for 20yrs, how can I be upset that some of my friends and family fell for the lies too. The truth always prevails we just have to remind ourselves of that and be patient. This was a fantastic subject. Thank you
Patience is a virtue✨
I understand completely 🙌🙏💯
Thank you again for your spot on videos. This was one of the hardest parts for me (still is) - being painted as the abuser, cheater, etc. I lost people I thought were my friends but I live my truth and know otherwise. They may “win” but in reality we are the true winners - they are gone from our lives and no longer using and abusing us. Good riddance is where I am finally at!
Welcome Barbara 🙌🙏☀️💯
I'm not alone and I'm thankful for all of you ! Thanks Andrew , we all love you too !!
Thank you 🙏🙌☀️💯
THANK YOU ANDREW! 🙏
THANK "GOD" FOR YOU! 💚
"WE ARE NOT ALONE"!!!
AND THANK YOU FOR THE BEAUTIFUL FLOWERS! 💐
Welcome Loretta 🙏🙌💯😊
Thank you for the light bulb moment!
Welcome 💡💡💡
These people never grew out of the " playground bully" which was their peak. They re stuck, can t progress. Have to have a win at all costs to save face, manipulate, devalue, cover jealousies and disappointments and destroy what they fear... their true selves and motives. Some of them have a lot to lose if the truth gets out
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Horrific smear campaign cycles so cruel sad but true 🤦 together with isolation this is so cruel 😳tthank God for freedom and the road to recovery 💃👯🤩
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Thank you for your teaching.
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GOOSEBUMBPS!!!!!! THANKS A THOUSAND TIMES FOR THIS!!! Living through a smear campaign initiated by the very person who destroyed your spirits, hearing them flip the whole story and make you the villain, while you were literally gasping for breath and finally walking out with your head high, not giving a fuck about them and their flying monkeys and the lies they spread, seeing people recognize the real snake and reach out to you is the bestest thing ever and i dont know how to thank you for putting these into words!! Thanks bunch!!!!!
Welcome 🙏🙌💯
It probably has been going on longer than some can imagine. This is sad and true.
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Unfortunately, yes I experienced this with the pos narc. I honestly never thought such evil could exist..I still have dark days, darker than anyone can imagine. But I tell myself, God is looking out for you and is putting people like you Andrew in my path, to educate me and give me strength to keep going, to come out of this a winner.
Thank you for sharing this 🙌🙏💯
Two of the worst smear campaigns waged against me were accomplished by narcissistic women who happen to work in sales. They are very successful salespeople. I am heartbroken by the behaviors of narcissistic people, but I am mortally crushed by their ability to beguile and deceive friends and family.
Yep, he embellished events and left vital key important information out that made him look like a victim. All his friends disliked me, even tho I never met most of his friends. He would tell me "my friends tell me to leave you", I couldn't understand why, now I do. He cannot accept himself as he truly is. His four adult children don't speak to him either do any of his grandchildren, he treated everyone like crap. He is going to be a lonely old man, or maybe he'll be blissful being all alone. I'm grateful for my children and the awesome friends I have in my life...... the smear campaign is brutal and hurts like hell. I've got to share one more thing, the people that he respects and treats very well are people with money and prestige, his best friend is a criminal law judge and other people here in California with prominent positions.... those are his dear friends.
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I pity the fool who claims his false friendship. We know better.
Smear campaign has been going on since 2019 on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, etc. attorneys have filed a cease & desist and a TRO and yet just today eight hours after she got the TRO another bashing on FB. It just never ends. Exhausting 😩
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Myself being a victim (as a child) grew with doing (anything, physically, mentally and sexually) from a young age just wanting attention and validation. I'm 61 now and FB is as triggering to me as reality. It attacks my nervous system and I have no interest I'm it whatsoever, now. Waiting for a thumbs up is still waiting for validation and no contact goes for media as well, what I don't see or read isn't sucking up my hardwork with me undermining myself. All the best.
My ex to a tea, says the most horrific things about all of their exes and if you ever ask them "why did you break up?" 9/10 they say "i don't know" or "they were crazy"...yeah, no. The smear campaign is the worst, I went through it and it was so isolating.
I understand completely 🙌💯☀️
It's so true when I was dismissed from my job 4 years ago, my ex boss did a smear campain afterwards and I was no longer invited to the events I would normally go with my co-workers, what hurt the most is I lost complete contact with them and I asume 100% is because of my covert narcissitic boss. Ive moved on ever since, my life is different and much better, but I cannot help but notice the intentions of my ex boss, the way I see life changed forever!
Yip Andrew! Spot on! Smeared and made out to be the worst person ever! 😳 It still continues and will most probably forever. It was horrible as if the discard was not enough😂 There is a wonderful beautiful things that happens though...No longer will I rely on another human being for my truth, my validation, my security, my decisions or choices. The answers and true support will come from inside of me. And then the true friends that align with my truth. Lets be honest, the ex narc circle of friends and family were fake and was controlled by the narc. Do I want to be with people who are still puppets to the narc and or are in general the type of people that are in it for themselves? No 👌👌👌 !! Thank you for an excellent video Andrew....just brilliant!😇👊😀
NO! 💯💯💯
Thank you Penny..💯🙌☀️🙏
You're 100% right. When I finally left my husband he acted confused and so upset. We live in different states. He is in Washington and I am in Oregon. Five months into our divorce he comes to visit me. He was so sad and even had tears. He didn't want the divorce but he wanted me to continue living in Oregon and he would continue to live in Washington. I told him I wanted the divorce. I told him I have enrolled for college and I would start classes in 2 weeks and if I stopped the divorce it would ruin everything in my life. His answer with hugh tears and looked so confused said " You've changed and I don't know you anymore." My answer was " thank you. That's the nicest thing you have ever said to me." I will never forget the look on his face. So he just made a scene leaving to let all the neighbors know he was upset with me. I told them not to be concerned. He just throwing a fit like a two year old because he didn't get his way. We have been divorced for 42 years and he is still trying to be the good guy. My daughter pass away 5 years ago. At the funeral he put his hand on my shoulder and then he said me and me and you created reated something beautiful together. I slapped his hand off my shoulder and told him to never touch me again. My son-in-law saw it and pulled me towards him because he was afraid I would make a scene. I didn't but I did make it clear a later. I told him he was nothing and to stay out of my life. So he goes to back to Washington to his his girlfriend of two weeks. I got a Facebook post from her telling me I was so awful making Chuck feel so unwelcome and because of me no one made him feel welcomed. He was so hurt because I told him not to refer to my parents as mom and dad because they knew how he treated me and they couldn't stand him. He hasn't contacted me since the funeral. But, he has been busy with my family. Just a thumbs up on their birthday or commenting on anything they may have posted. The one he sent to my sister was unbelievable. He said he enjoyed talking to her and her husband. Telling her how smart her husband was regarding cars from the fifties and sixties. That's funny because when we were married he referred to my brother-in-law as a dumb hillbilly. The last line of his post is priceless. He told my sister we are still family right. Does the narcissistic ever give up trying to be the good guy?
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙏🙌😉🙌
Behind the curtain lies the wizard, scheming revenge upon anyone who sees the wizard for who they really are!! My God I have been around them my entire life and now I have to rewire my life to escape them, and everyone else that drinks their poison. I have to believe that in this day and age, with narcissists being exposed with videos like this, they are inching closer to the abyss of their own doing!! Good luck Ffffers!! Thank you for enlightening us Andrew!!
Thank you for sharing this John…🙌💯🙏
I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. Not just mates but friends. It IS isolating. The weird thing is, they'll claim they're HAPPY. I've never met happy people that go around doing mean things to people, and THAT is what makes them feel good. I've met disturbed people behaving like that. Not happy people.
They seem to be getting everything they wanted, ANY THING a person could ask for ( cuz obviously people around them just want to hush the hissy fits and I've SEEN IT) the minute you say they need to be showing more gratitude towards their people giving so much to them, they freak out! They're completely mystified by it.
I'm dealing with this right now. PLUS the triangulation. Between 2 people I had assumed were friends. Turns out they're both jealous, and just WAITING to play this last game with me. Well why not? My 30 year relationship is over, I'm isolated, everything is gone. Should be FUN! Cuz they're both doing well. Oddly I could have pulled this crap on either of them anytime I felt like it.
Inflicting problems was never my goal. Maybe not always agree, but we can discuss, or agree to disagree.
Now that I need a support system...... Island life, HERE I COME.
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Definitely have and am still dealing with the smear campaign. As unfair as it is, I just try to realize I can't control people's perspectives of me - a bit of that old prayer, "God/universe help me with what is in my control, and would you handle the rest?". In the end, as you mentioned, the goal is finding that peaceful and drama-free life - that is the win. And for me, I recognize I'm the more solid person, because I don't have that inner storm that hurts someone to look/feel better (temporarily).
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My ex did this to me big time, he stalked me and blamed on me, and turned friends against me, by being the victim. All lies. The worst part is that several people believed him, they don't know what a narcissist does. I did get a protective order against him for a year, he never thought I would do anything. Really working on my healing. Thank you for this information 💖
Big Hugz 💕 #beStrong
Sending healing energy and strength 🙌💯☀️
Remember Janet, our maker knows the truth and that's all that matters. I too have had to get a restraining order, was held at gun point for hours, etc. The county was with me through each incident. I held my inner strength tight to not lose my mind. I didn't have a choice but to be strong and God helped me through it trust me. Know that you are loved. Stay strong friend. We are your support team if you need us. This is a great channel.
One of my Narcs was a Supervisor. He did everything to smear me and get me fired. It hot so bad the Chief pulled him into the office and suddenly enough already "your board line putting us at risk for a harassment or hostile work environment case. He stopped officially but he trying to poke the bear. This went on for a long time. When I retired o had a great retirement party. A few years later when he retired he chose not to have one and made a comment "I don't think anybody will go". Come to find out later everybody hated this guy when I met my former coworkers for dinner. They told me he got another job at another department and nobody really talks to him. I retired i. Good standing and am now working for the State. A few of my work buddies joined me at our new department. Victory!!!!!
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Absolutely spot on, Andrew. After 46 years of this, I left and have gone from a broken suicide attempt to a PhD student and living a good, creative, loving and peaceful life. Part of the Cost of Freedom was the loss of my adult children, who believed his Big Barrel of Bullshit. They took the grandchildren I'd loved and been loved by for 15 years. Hell awaits. But I was blessed with brothers who had known me since forever, and a cadre of long-time friends who knew my character and knew the truth. Thank God for them. I will spend my last decades as a free woman, a healing soul, and a good person. The smear campaign, like everything the narc does, is evil apparent.
Thank you for sharing this message 🙏🙌💯
You articulate this so perfectly on point! Thank you for your service truly! 🙏🙏🙏
This speaks to all circumstances that allows us to strengthen our radar and resilience...certainly, the pressures and exhaustion can feel very amplified when support is narrowed or absent. Yet, too much self shielding will make us softer and we have to face fears, learn and address properly(wisely). It can often feel like "battle after battle" Yet, we certainly aren't here in this existence, NOT to be challenged, for a {Higher Self-Awareness and Elevation with an Earned Respect and Responsibility that Accompanies with That...From the Fires}
Thank you* Andrew for this ongoing ENLIGHTENMENT!
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Welcome 🙏🙌💯
You Are Right. Let's Just Hope That Some of Them Have a Conscience.
Omgsh! Andrew thank you for this video. You have hit the nail on the head in each and every one of your videos. I am just about at the end of a 31 year marriage (going to divorce court in March). How I thought I could garner some support, after watching just about every single narc channel on TH-cam for the last year and have gotten thoroughly awakened… I don’t know. A temporary lapse, perhaps. But I quickly learned that there is no support to be had. The narc I was married to has commandeered EVERY SINGLE PERSON I have ever come into contact with and poisoned them. It’s shocking. My last hope was a minister that I thought would at least be neutral… no such luck. I am still waiting for him to “call me back”. It is unbelievable!!! This video just solidified my resolve that I am on my own. Thank goodness, I have gotten plenty strong in these last few years. Wish me luck in court fellow narc survivors.
Best of luck. Be prepared and stay calm and focused. Know your truth and worth and do not settle for less then you deserve🙏💪🕊️✨💛
@@christine11347 Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this message.. sending you strength and healing energy 🙌🙏💯☀️
They live to win and to control, and hate that you have broken free with every cell in their sick self. Make sure you have a good lawyer to protect you. I took me 3 years to get through it but it's finally done. Stay resolute. I promise it will eventually be over and you will feel like a released helium balloon! :)
I got the smear campaign from all corners. And when caught out it was of course all my fault and I was punished accordingly. He made a complete mess of me. When a lie was revealed it was always me that was punished. A few times I was confronted by the lies he had told, in a social situation -I would correct the details - so I was then the bad guy and not him who had lied so terribly and created a false identity of who I was. In that situation is was very sad because a lot of things came out that night while his friend was baiting me - he was someone I never liked and his wife was a silent type who would just drift in the background. I was always worried for her. So two narcissistic men. And me in the middle.
Thank you for sharing this 🙌🙏💯
I had past with narcissist that I cooperated with only through phone and he only calmed down when he achieved to get me to be intimate with him and then when I didn't accept his certain conditions about relationship he dumped me. I dumped him actually but he provoced that himself. I think that was his plan from the begining so he looks innocent. You are right. All this thing is competition for them.
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Yes Andrew, the narcissist in my life was married to my beautiful son, she love bombed him big time, in the beginning and throughout their life together, as needed. She moved in within the first 6 weeks, took over his home and then started, campaigning against me and anyone else that she didn't need to use at the time, who were close to my son, she even had my son believing bad things about me sometimes and I found I had to either explain myself after being questioned or walk away angry at him for thinking what he was told could be true, it was horrible. He lived with chronic pain after a terrible road accident, she was studying to be a nurse, such a good person, NOT, she wore my son down, disrespected his space and how he needed things so that he could function well. He liked to cook and ate healthily, he was no longer allowed in the kitchen anymore it was her domain, she loved to bake sweets, his cupboards were rearranged so that it was hard for him to manage, (one of his arms was paralysed) After his life with her, in the last few years before he passed away, when I visited, most of the time he couldn't get out of bed, his pain had escalated, I would have to kneel beside his bed to speak with him, very rarely did I see him alone, she would come sit on the bed behind him, he would often apologise then and say he was in too much pain and I would leave. On the rare occasions that I saw him and she was out, he spoke to me of how he had no access to money, how her mother came whenever she wanted, how she took over his home and how angry he was that I couldn't come to visit whenever I or he wanted. She has smeared my name and his sister's, and at their wedding and engagement party our family were ignored by hers and her friends, even when we tried to engage with them, the same at his funeral, it has been a terrible time for us and it's ongoing because she now has my son's, son, the most beautiful, empathic soul, such an amazing person in his own right, whom we love dearly and would do anything for, but she is doing a wonderful smear campaign on us all over again and love bombing him big time we are very concerned for him, but don't know what to do..Thank you Andrew I have questioned myself, wondered if I was going crazy, asking myself is this really happening?? your channel has helped me so much, if anyone can tell me what we can do for my Grandson who is 17, how we handle this situation in the best possible way, for his sake, I will listen to your advice....I have lost my son tragically, we don't want to lose his!
Thank you for sharing this 💯🙌🙏
Unfortunately when you get rid of the Narcissist the mutual friends have to go too. Sad but true! Unfortunately.
Completely true 💯💯
Even the most mundane thing is competition ~ they focus on minutia ~ walk away if you can, ASAP! TY Andrew
Welcome Marie..💯🙌☀️
I remember the very first time 4yrs ago when in hindsight how things started to go wrong. I was waiting all dressed up looking and feeling good and attractive waiting for him as he'd invited me out. I waited... and waited... and waited... you get the picture? No communication from him no warning that he was going to be late, no apology. Nothing. Obviously after a while I called him. No answer. I called him again, still no answer. I left it a few hours after leaving a message saying I hope he's alright. Still no answer. I bumped into him a couple of days later and casually said hello, at which point he apologised saying he'd fallen asleep. If only I knew then what I know now that I was being 'groomed' I'd have walked straight back out. He told me his friends had warned him about me, people I'd never met, one even threatened me for hitting my Ex (my Ex punched me knocking me flying). Obviously he wasn't informed by my Ex why I did it. Yes, some people can be truly viscious in a smear campaign Andrew. I avoid people like that now and anything near it. 🍒
Thank you for sharing this 🙌💯🙏💪
Thanks Andrew for this helpful and life affirming video. I'm just beginning to 'get' this now. After being brutally discarded and left reeling, I am on a new path to health and instead of trying to placate others I am waking up to my own considerable power. What a relief. I was shocked to the core but realised my part in it as too much of a people pleaser. Now I know how pleasant it is when you prioritise yourself instead of others.
Beautiful growth and progress Coral..🙏🙌💯
GREAT TOPIC Andrew. 👍 yes I consider my self a " WINNER 🏆 I be come stronger and educated about NARCISSISM. THANK YOU and GOD BLESS YOU🙏 🙏🙏
Welcome Alicia 🙌💯🙏
Thank you for this message! 💫
Welcome 🙏🙌😊
How opposite of an empath. Kind people treat others how we want to be treated. We minimize the drama and try to save the dignity of others we choose to end a relationship with. DONT expect a narcissist to think like this. Andrew is right. They will focus on destroying your reputation and and self worth based on lies. They abuse you and try to get you ostracized from family and friends. They self project their sickness on you and spread lies and half truths. Don't take the bait. Dont waste your time defending yourself to them, others will see the truth in time.. Very Very Important topic Andrew! This tactic of abuse is serious and very painful until you realize what's going on. Ty❤
Thank you for sharing Jennifer 🙌🙏💯☀️
This is so true. I only noticed about 6months ago. With her work colleagues first. She denied it obviously. But since she left my world has become smaller and smaller. It’s hard but I got to keep pushing in 👍❤️🙃
Light Bulb MOMENT, Andrew. She made me think I was the narcissist . Painful lessons are learned on this channel. But, through this pain , I will grow . Thank You, Andrew. Thank You. Namaste!
My dad is a narc and smear campaigned me the past two years to all my family/ friends. I think he thought it was going to put me into a depression where he would dominate me and I would forever be the whipping boy in the family. All it did was awaken me to what's really going on and all of them being cut off. Back to the path of constant development I was on, no more wasting time with empty voids
Thank you for sharing this 🙌💯☀️
Stay strong and continue to know your truth and move forward. You're doing great 🙏🕊️💪✨
Great job recognizing the situation and being the bigger person. My dad has done the same to me destroying my career and reputation. Jealousy, insecurity and hatred. I don't think he's really alive at all.
I am so thankful for you. Soooo thankful 🙏🏼
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In the most despairing time of my life when I was packing up and leaving my marriage, one of his flying monkeys suggested I get a pedicure!!! 😂 my gosh just thinking about that now makes me laugh.. thank GOD I escaped the madness
Thank you for sharing Susan.. 😊🙌🙏😉
Thank you. You're amazing
So are you Margaret 🙌🙏☀️
Happy to say I've been in no contact 8 day's, getting better every day !
Beautiful progress Steve..🙏🙌☀️
Oh my GAWWWWWD THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU mind blowing makes so much sense NOW!!!!!
Exactly. They have a mature person's intelligence that embelish the few basic emotions of a 2 year old child. So they use Jealousy, hate, selfishness, to their greatest extent
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I never had a cue when I visited my sons family from the nark why thay had changed to an extent I could not get my head round an boyaz I got educates it all fell into place the smear campaign wow Andrew I'm so happy to have been endearing my sekf over the last 2 years ❤️