One Movie Later - Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 พ.ค. 2017
  • Cap'n Some Jerk With A Camera and his mates discuss the merits of Johnny Depp's latest excuse to wear a stupid hat, Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales!
    DISCLAIMER: This video, like every video on this channel, is intended only for mature audiences. While the topic at hand is a form of media commonly associated with small children, the purpose of this video is to present a mixture of analysis and comedy about said media from a distinctly adult perspective, which may possibly include profane language and references to sex, drugs and/or violence. TH-cam, like many websites, collects personal data on its users. The Child Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA) has made it illegal to collect personal data on children younger than 13, and rather than fix their own algorithm, TH-cam is essentially threatening to pass the blame onto content creators whose work may seem "attractive" to children. For these reasons, the producers of this video feel compelled to state, in no uncertain terms, that if you allow a child under 13 years old to watch this TH-cam channel, you are a bad parent or guardian.
    Featuring...
    TONY GOLDMARK
    TH-cam: / tonygoldmark
    Twitter: / tonygoldmark
    Patreon: / tonygoldmark
    HALEY BAKER CALLAHAN
    TH-cam: / @tricksterbelle
    Twitter: / tricksterbelle
    ZACH HURST
    TH-cam: / @thevoyages
    Twitter: / therlking
    JARED ROSENFELD
    TH-cam: / @rosenthorne
    Twitter: / rosen_thorne
    LUKE SKI
    Bandcamp: lukeski.bandcamp.com
    Twitter: / thegreatlukeski
    Watch Stephan Krosecz' video "Pirates Of The Caribbean - Accidentally Genius"
    • Pirates of the Caribbe...
  • ตลก

ความคิดเห็น • 139

  • @SonofMrPeanut
    @SonofMrPeanut 7 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    "You can make a good movie out of anything. They just usually choose not to." - Some Jerk, 2017

    • @autobotproductions1244
      @autobotproductions1244 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      SonofMrPeanut I think that was the review for the emoji movie

    • @SonofMrPeanut
      @SonofMrPeanut 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      T.J. Miller, who played the Meh Emoji, said that children don't deserve to laugh because they haven't experienced life yet.

    • @angusng816
      @angusng816 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      That was the review for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales.

    • @Galvion1980
      @Galvion1980 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@SonofMrPeanut He sounds nice /s

  • @angusng816
    @angusng816 6 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl is the best one.

  • @SonofMrPeanut
    @SonofMrPeanut 7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Comparing two Depp films, the Pirates series made the exact same mistake that Charlie & the Chocolate Factory did: They put the story focus on the "interesting mystery man," instead of the analog for the audience observing this character. They made it too much about Willy Wonka and not enough about Charlie, and not only does that risk overexposure but that also makes the whole package feel a lot more impersonal.

    • @disneylandw
      @disneylandw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Disney's The Lone Ranger made the fatal mistake of thinking Tonto was a "weird" character and the center of the story NOT the Ranger.
      Even if take out the fact that the filmmakers basically didn't seem to understand one basic thing about Reidd as the Lone Ranger, he was played as second fiddle to Tonto. Simply because it was Johnny Depp and a really bizarre comical twist to a pulp superhero who otherwise DIDN'T need to have a movie with the focus on the weird tired POTC stuff. Or Depp having the ego to think he would play Tonto as someone "weird" and strange just like Sparrow(maybe that was the biggest fault with that movie was the odd tone they wanted)
      And clearly it backfired on them...hopefully we will an actual good Lone Ranger movie without a bizarre POTC twist

  • @yvonnerogers6429
    @yvonnerogers6429 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    My condolences on your recent loss. I cannot begin to imagine how difficult it's been for you to work on this channel with that in the background, and I'm sorry this film only made it more difficult. Hang in there. Thank you for all your hard work. I enjoy your videos very much, and I especially appreciate the historical information you provide on your topics. I learn so much. Best.

  • @teddyfurstman1997
    @teddyfurstman1997 7 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Wow! RIP some jerk's mom. :( Great video tho. ^^

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว +31

      My mom is no longer with us either though, so the sentiment is appreciated regardless.

    • @scorp312
      @scorp312 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Sorry to hear that, I can tell your mom and grandmother were good human beings by the way they raised you. Take care.

  • @SonofMrPeanut
    @SonofMrPeanut 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Did you know a pirate helped lead the Rebel Alliance to victory in the Battle of Endor? His name was Acck-bAAAAAARRRRR!

  • @googamp32
    @googamp32 7 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    Thanks for not using the Lazy Town pirate song in your intro. Using it has become so cliched.

    • @captaindreadeye6264
      @captaindreadeye6264 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You can also thank him for using "Pirate Chantey" from Key and Peele.

  • @adamclinton8241
    @adamclinton8241 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    They’re making a Johnny Depp less reboot with the writers of Deadpool doing the script.....
    SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!

    • @gRinchY-op5vr
      @gRinchY-op5vr 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      The writers of deadpool have left the project, because even they know it'll lose more money than it will make

  • @zachreichgut
    @zachreichgut 7 ปีที่แล้ว +46

    The New Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout, The New Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout, The New Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout, The New Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout, The New Guardians of the Galaxy: Mission Breakout

    • @zachreichgut
      @zachreichgut 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hapdog good I'm glad you sincerely respect my humor

  • @mexiaznann
    @mexiaznann 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So sorry to hear about Bernice, prayers for you & your family ❤

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      She was an atheist, so prayers are not necessary, but the thought is appreciated all the same.

  • @notchuckproductions5029
    @notchuckproductions5029 7 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Isn't kind of ironic or heresy seeing Disney movies at a universal theme park?

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      That's what makes it fun!

    • @jordan1382
      @jordan1382 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Not Chuck Productions shouldn't matter as longest we have fun

    • @BugsyFoga
      @BugsyFoga 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Tony Goldmark What a minute, wasn't Prince of Persia one of the highest grossing video game movies all time?

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Highest grossing video game movie, you mean? That's...honestly not saying much. Given how much it cost, it was deemed a flop for not living up to Pirates standards.

    • @HBarnill
      @HBarnill 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Tony Goldmark Warcraft is now the highest grossing video game movie of all time. And it still was a huge flop. Not even China could save it. Stop making movies based on video games, Hollywood!

  • @jetfire851
    @jetfire851 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The opening of this video outlines why Disney is doing so much better now. Bob Iger realized that Disney has to spend money to make money, and the investment in Marvel and Star Wars has propelled them to heights I don't think even Eisner could've imagined.

  • @thecinematicmind
    @thecinematicmind 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    That post credits sequence despite the advertising saying this film is the final adventure. Oh the joy. Fantastic video once again Tony!

  • @drakekondrat799
    @drakekondrat799 7 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Honestly.. I really liked this movie. I just got back from this movie.

    • @grantkelly8696
      @grantkelly8696 7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The Darkmare Agreed. Better than part 4's crap. Glad this amazing franchise can get back to its great roots.

    • @leonardhughes7679
      @leonardhughes7679 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      yeah it wasgood and worth the buying when its released but this should be done with .

  • @sondrebd1314
    @sondrebd1314 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I love the first movie an second third and the fifth

  • @BacchaeOphanim
    @BacchaeOphanim 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I know this is two and a half years late with Star Bucks, but there is actually a deeper reason for On Stranger Tides to be the way it is. You see, it was based on a book.
    No, that book didn't have anything to do with Disney.

  • @waywardlaser
    @waywardlaser 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Love the first movie, thought the second was alright, but the third was so overlong and boring that I never bothered to see the fourth. At World's End was the first time I can distinctly remember being in a movie theatre and thinking to myself "holy crap, this is STILL going? End already!"

  • @princesskyrie
    @princesskyrie 7 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    On a completely shallow note, I love Haley's jewelry. Now on to a more detailed comment!
    After the 3rd movie, I dropped out of the franchise - I just took the exit ramp. I still saw the 4th movie... for completion's sake? I currently have no plans to see this, but I was curious about what you and friends - who I knew would look at the film with a close eye but without necessarily dumping on the movie just to dump on it - would think. Maybe one day I'll eventually see the movie, but I won't pay money for it. I'll just borrow my sister's DVD in a few months. Maybe.

  • @SonofMrPeanut
    @SonofMrPeanut 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Fun Fact About the Pointless McCartney Cameo: It exists solely because they couldn't get Keith Richards in.
    That's right. "Keif" couldn't fit that into his schedule, and someone had McCartney's number. They texted him about the opportunity, and Macca agreed to it. The scene wasn't even for him in the first place.

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Even for this movie, that scene was completely pointless. Why not just cut it?

    • @4Everlast
      @4Everlast 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Atleast it was funny, "if you go for disembowelment ask for Victor he's got THE softest hands." it's just 1 of 3 jokes deliverd, i mean come on if that didn't put atleast a tiny smile on you're face i don't know what will. If theres something pointless and could be cut out it's the last 25 minutes as that shit was slow, predictable and bad.

    • @SonofMrPeanut
      @SonofMrPeanut 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      It just hit me: Had he lived to do it, George Harrison should've been the Beatle they called. He's the one with pirate experience! #HesSoFine th-cam.com/video/_ACyZIXkHq0/w-d-xo.html

  • @Nyleao4Reel
    @Nyleao4Reel 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    So stoked for this!

  • @CinephileStudios
    @CinephileStudios 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I think the rule is that Will can't leave the land of the dead. That's why Davy Jones was all octopussy. He wasn't ferrying the souls because he wasn't even on the other side! Now, cut to the end credits scene of AT WORLD'S END: It's ten years later, and Will returns for his one day on land, with no barnacles. His son looks roughly the same age here as he does in the beginning of DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES. I think when Henry drowned himself, Will sensed him, and left the land of the dead to rescue him, but in turn, got a further curse. His barnacles are not as extreme as Davy Jones because this was the first time breaking the rules. That's what I think anyway.

  • @FarelForever
    @FarelForever 7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I remember going to the cinema... seeing a trailer featuring a pirate ship
    "No"
    *it continued on....*
    "No, please, don't"
    *the music, some bits shown*
    "Let this be some new adaptation of "Treasure Island", please!"
    *the music intensifies*
    "Just don't let it be another Pirates of the Caribbean movie!"
    *title shows up*
    "GOD DAMMIT!!!"

    • @Alejandroigarabide
      @Alejandroigarabide 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      An actual Disney remake of treasure island could be great.

  • @brycebitetti1402
    @brycebitetti1402 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    BTW, will you be doing a video on Mission Breakout any time soon?

  • @samvangoghgirl8328
    @samvangoghgirl8328 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    the movie really was just a collection of random scenes mashed up. the guillotine was the best part I laughed so hard. I was entertained but the plot is non existent.

  • @IfIHadMyTimeAgain
    @IfIHadMyTimeAgain 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Fun fact! In the uk rather than it being titled ‘dead men tell no tales’ it was instead called ‘Salazar’s revenge’! No I don’t know why!

  • @ndep93
    @ndep93 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Did watching a Disney movie on Universal property make you feel like you were doing something wrong?

  • @MiscellaneousSoup
    @MiscellaneousSoup 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I still haven't seen the films, but I've loved the theme song ever since I played it in a high school band concert.

  • @Wintermute01001
    @Wintermute01001 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Sorry for your loss, Tony

  • @carlosdiaz3103
    @carlosdiaz3103 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dang missed you by two days! I arrived to Cali on the 26th. But I did see spazzmaster on the 27th in transformers! But I didn't get the chance to say hello or HAIL FIGMENT! Since we had to "evacuate the ride"

  • @jackrubyultima
    @jackrubyultima 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You know what the attraction should be? The Shanghai Disneyland version of POTC.
    Have you seen that thing? It's goddamn amazing... if a little too reliant on projector screens.

  • @christheleavittman7080
    @christheleavittman7080 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    If I’m being honest, I thought the Step by Step clips at the beginning and ending of this vlog were from Boy Meets World.

  • @iHeartsNostalgiaPit
    @iHeartsNostalgiaPit 7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    man they must have really wasted sir paul

  • @Falxifer95
    @Falxifer95 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Javier Bardem (HAH-vee-Ehr Bar-Them)

  • @ForrestFox626
    @ForrestFox626 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I know I'm 3 years late, but I'm sorry you grandmother died.
    I can't imagine what that feels like.

  • @garrettcarter2959
    @garrettcarter2959 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    We wants the redhead! WE WANTS THE REDHEAD!

  • @Insaneian
    @Insaneian 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    for the drinking game players at home...Luke surprisingly doesn't check his phone until 20:37

  • @TsukiCondor
    @TsukiCondor 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Sorry for the loss of your grandma :(, I bet she was nice

  • @Burori1
    @Burori1 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Maybe they need to reinvent the POTC movies as animations. Maybe spice things up. Have Jack go through centuries of shenanigans. Have the 6th movie be Jack fighting as a captain during the Great War! Have Jack fight the Nazis in WW2! Modern Jack taking on Somali Pirates, maybe have Captain Jack in space, in a late future!

  • @TomTheyy
    @TomTheyy 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Good luck with your Cars 3 OML experience!

  • @HBarnill
    @HBarnill 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    0:17 What show is that clip from?

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      The Step By Step Disney World episode, as covered in this episode o' mine: th-cam.com/video/WSe-fpgUePA/w-d-xo.html

  • @angusng816
    @angusng816 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I watched the first movie when I was 9 years old. I think the second one was okay. I thought the third one was an improvement. The fourth one was where Jerry Bruckheimer has got worse with Disney. Johnny Depp was my favourite part in these movies. The fifth one I thought it was better than four. The only good Bruckheimer film outside of Pirates is G-Force.

  • @Insaneian
    @Insaneian 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    also, am I the only one who LOVES "On Stranger Tides"? That's my second favorite one!

  • @draleokong6796
    @draleokong6796 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Neptune and Poseidon are the same person just different names.

  • @CarlosDiaz-li5bh
    @CarlosDiaz-li5bh 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    my condolences Tony

  • @angusng816
    @angusng816 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bad Parts: 12:25 The plot 12:57 Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann as cameo characters 13:02 The character arc of Henry Turner 13:12 The poor character development 13:32 The end credits scene

  • @adamclinton8241
    @adamclinton8241 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Sorry about your grandmother.

  • @angusng816
    @angusng816 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    Best Parts: 11:42 Johnny Depp's performance 11:59 Geoffrey Rush's performance 12:04 Carina Barbossa, the new female lead 12:06 The visuals

  • @Emike-nc9ew
    @Emike-nc9ew 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    A six movie that its a reboot about red,about her journey from a object to be sell to a respectable pirate would be interesting....oh yeah...HAVE a captain blood cameo,you know the pirate from the original haunted mansion history.

  • @Alejandroigarabide
    @Alejandroigarabide 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think Javier Bardem would have pulled a better Gastón look than Luke Evans. Also, Salazar's demise in the film was framed and shot as Gastón's should have (falling into the camera, focus on his face and then seeing him from avobe. Simple yet spectacular and satisfying), instead of how Gaston's death was handled in the 2017 live-action version (bridge cracks, silly split-second duck-face, slow-mo start to the fall, out-of-focus darkened fall from bellow without a clear look at his face, and finally he is lost in the mist and the film plays a "thud" sound).

  • @adamgrunther1367
    @adamgrunther1367 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I don’t have a problem with the female reboot that’s apparently happening with this movie, as I love Margot Robbie. However, I really feel that the other rides should be getting their own movie already. Pirates of the Caribbean has already had five movies, only one of which was good.

  • @wefubmadness1922
    @wefubmadness1922 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    The restraint not to put The Lonely Island's "Jack Sparrow" in here.

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I honestly have so many pirate songs at my disposal, they were all jockeying for slots. Had to make some tough choices.

    • @wefubmadness1922
      @wefubmadness1922 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TonyGoldmark It would have been so easy, but you didn't. Hats off to you!

  • @thxlogofan1712
    @thxlogofan1712 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    the original pirates trilogy (cotbp, dead man's chest, at world's end) are the best of them, and very nostalgic to me. also, tower of terror got a movie in 1997 starring steve guttenberg. it's not bad

  • @SPIRITMANSTUDIOS
    @SPIRITMANSTUDIOS 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I gave the film a Ralphie Christmas Story C+

  • @angusng816
    @angusng816 6 ปีที่แล้ว

    1:32 Transformers reference

  • @themovieguy3642
    @themovieguy3642 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dead man chest was more developed, while at worlds end was made up as the second film ended and suffered from lack of commitment to story development.

  • @austinck7681
    @austinck7681 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    I enjoy this film there are a million plot holes in though, did anyone else miss Ragetti, Pintel, and the mute parrot guy also sorry for the lost Tony and thank you for the review.

  • @elineman4523
    @elineman4523 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Yeah, they could have used George Harrison instead for the cameo because he did sing a pirate song with Eric Idel and Niel Innes

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      George Harrison has been dead for fifteen years.
      So...Pirate Ghost George Harrison?

  • @danshull1331
    @danshull1331 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Worst Disney/Universal ride based off good IP?
    P.S. When are you coming down to Florida?, I'd love to meet you!
    P.S.S. Sorry about your grandma.

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      If Stitch's Great Escape counts as a ride, then that. No question.
      My next Florida trip will probably be early next year.
      And thanks.

  • @bullseyecello
    @bullseyecello 6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    No mention of the Paul McCartney cameo

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  6 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yeah we did. At 40:09

    • @bullseyecello
      @bullseyecello 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Tony Goldmark oh thank you

    • @gRinchY-op5vr
      @gRinchY-op5vr 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      He was mentioned long before that

  • @leonardhughes7679
    @leonardhughes7679 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    actually the last should have been the third disney presed two more on the public. .

  • @repulser93
    @repulser93 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Was Bernice your aunt or grandmother?

  • @jordan1382
    @jordan1382 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    wow can't believe u were bored of pirates.

  • @JW-dg9gf
    @JW-dg9gf 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Bernice!!!!!!

  • @c.w.r.794
    @c.w.r.794 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    We are the pirates who don't do anything! We just stay at home and lay around! And if you asked us if we do anything! We'll just tell you…………….......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................………..........................................................We don't do anything!

  • @leonardhughes7679
    @leonardhughes7679 6 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    this will most probabley be the last. time to wrap this up and be done with it.

  • @RedMoonbow4921
    @RedMoonbow4921 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    as a huge fan of the Prince of Persia games i was appalled by the movie. seriously they put the Prince in the Warrior within outfit, they took out took out the Sand Creatures entirely WHICH WERE THE MAIN ENEMIES BESIDES THE VIZER.

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I covered that movie on my podcast a few months ago: escapefromvaultdisney.libsyn.com/prince-of-persia-the-sands-of-time

  • @heymanwhatsgoingon
    @heymanwhatsgoingon 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    Hey jerk! When do you think you'll review tower of terror? Then later on can you review mission breakout?

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Both distinct possibilities, but most likely not until sometime in 2018.

    • @heymanwhatsgoingon
      @heymanwhatsgoingon 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Tony Goldmark cool!
      Thanks for responding!
      This is pretty rare!
      I would like to see them as separate code so when you review the tower of terror you review all of them and how they are different from each other like the one in Japan and etc

  • @coolnerdlll6053
    @coolnerdlll6053 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I do actually want a sixth movie, but it shouldn't happen without Johnny Depp. If he's out, kill the franchise entirely. It's not a Pirates movie unless he's there.

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It's called PIRATES of the Caribbean, not Jack Sparrow of the Caribbean. There's other characters to explore.

    • @coolnerdlll6053
      @coolnerdlll6053 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@TonyGoldmark That's why a spin-off is fine, but not a direct sequel. I'm open to that spin-off with Margot Robbie they're considering. The first five movies were really carried by him, no matter how good some of them were otherwise.

  • @quinnbansley4534
    @quinnbansley4534 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I love watching all your one movie laters but this one and the crimes of grindlewald are hard to watch now that we know the full story with Johnny Depp. These two videos have kinda aged like milk

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Meh, they're time capsules.

  • @dylannicholson3112
    @dylannicholson3112 7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Maybe I wanna see this film ? I mean its not good, but I heard its better than the 3rd and 4th.

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว

      It's slightly better than the fourth, but that REALLY ain't saying much. They both mostly suck.

    • @dylannicholson3112
      @dylannicholson3112 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Tony Goldmark Huh. I'll take your word at the very least then.

    • @leonardhughes7679
      @leonardhughes7679 6 ปีที่แล้ว

      the thir was necessary and should have ended there. the fourth and fifth are not needed.

  • @alexrexaros9837
    @alexrexaros9837 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    So, in a nutshell, how was the film ?
    Ahem, really business here, I have a question for ya mate.
    Since I live in France, I would like to know if you actually planned to go to Disneyland Paris one day. I mean, yeah, that would be for a tough price but, would you like to go there ?
    I cqn tell how does it look like since I go to this park every year, if you want.

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว

      I'd like to, but I have no idea if I'll ever be able.

    • @alexrexaros9837
      @alexrexaros9837 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Oh. What a shame :(
      I can give you an quick description if you want.
      Just bare in mind that this park was never directly managed by the Disney Company, every single imagineer over there where wrking on what they wanted to do and not what Disney commended. Or at least, The Disney company had a tiny influence on the park.
      Many of the rides there are very different from the other ones, like Space Mountain, which is not Star Wars themed now. From the very beginning of the park, this ride (and the full section dedicated to Sci-Fi) is inspired by Jules Verne's classic Sci-Fi book, very steampukian with a little french touch. So the atmosphere of Discovery land (Where SM is located) is very unique compared to the USA Sci-Fi section. It also have inversions in this.
      Pirates of the Carribean is a classic in the park. Mostly considered as legendary for the park fans. Even tho, I wish they could upgrade it a bit, like at least a Jack Sparrow animatronic. The ride still the same since the park's opening. It's one of the rides that follow the spirits of the american rides.
      PS: The imagineer for this ride created a very popular pirate restaurant in Montpellier, which follow the ride's spirit, like a lot !
      For the Haunted Mansion, it's one of the greatest of the all of them in my opinion. Phantom Manor is the most mature ghost ride of the bunch. Nothing's funny, there's gore (Yep, there is a horse and a cat cadaver in the caves and a little bit of flesh are on the skeletons at the head, gosh, there's even a ghost that literally pull his head off !) and the story is way tragic. Hell, the elevator in the beginning show us a hanged man ! Even tho, most the story have to be guessed by the riders.
      Speaking of riders...
      The Indiana Jones ride is drasticly different from the USA one. It's litteraly a coaster, a very rare type of ride in Disney park ! Not much to say about this one, just that the ride is mostly outside, have a looping, and was rolling backwards for little bit of time.
      Big Thunder Mountain is no different. Maybe the only minor difference is that the ride is located on a island, and the train passes, not over but under a river to get there !
      It's a small world is way more detailed than any other, according to any POVs I've seen.
      Then we have Walt Disney Studio, in there we have the Rock'n'Roller coaster, which is even more savage, the ride look like a prison a this point ! There are a lot of loops and smoke in there. Oh and the music is loud as fuck.
      There is also the only and mighty Crush Coaster, based on Pixar's Finding Nemo. The entire ride is based on the turtle's part of the film. The only thing I can say, is that this ride kick ass.
      We have Ratatouille (Logic, Disneyland PARIS), which is just a 3D ghost train. Kind overrated to be honest. Like the imagineer have promised ther would a shit ton of fire and... Nothing.
      Also, the park have a Armageddon ride. Yep, a Micheal Bay ride in a Disney park. Kinda lame to be honest. But the concept is cool as hell.
      Also, we're probably the only park that will keep Captain EO forever. Sorry mate.
      There's also Disney Village.. but this one is more for shopping an eating than riding... You know, french people love to spent money on Disney things. Makes them feel more "cool".
      And I think that's it. You should really go there, it would probably be a unique experience for somebody that used to go in american parks !
      I wonder what do you think of all of this...

    • @amadeusravenswood6467
      @amadeusravenswood6467 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      You're doing a great job at describing the park but some of your statements are outdated ;)

    • @alexrexaros9837
      @alexrexaros9837 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Amadeus Ravenswood
      Ah yeah ? Which one ?

    • @amadeusravenswood6467
      @amadeusravenswood6467 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Alex Rexaros
      Jack Sparrow is about to be featured in the ride when it reopens, Armageddon isn't technically speaking a "ride" and Captain EO no longer exists 😉

  • @JW-dg9gf
    @JW-dg9gf 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Pirates that dont do anything!!!!!!!

  • @ethan02257
    @ethan02257 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This didn’t hold up well

  • @Azumadofu
    @Azumadofu 7 ปีที่แล้ว

    FYI, there IS a 6th movie.

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  7 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Really?

    • @Azumadofu
      @Azumadofu 7 ปีที่แล้ว

      Director said this movie is only the beginning of the "final adventure". So, yeah, there will be at least another one coming. And from what I can found about the new story, that Sea God is the final boss thing kind of come true, I think.

    • @tabbystudiosextras5129
      @tabbystudiosextras5129 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Hey, so it's 2021 approaching onto 2022, and there has been no news about another pirates movie. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • @Azumadofu
      @Azumadofu 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@tabbystudiosextras5129 You can thank Disney for their dumb decision of trying get rid of Johnny Depp.

  • @disneyfied-sundquist7349
    @disneyfied-sundquist7349 ปีที่แล้ว

    Well this didn't age well...(Still a compelling review though)

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  ปีที่แล้ว

      What didn't age well about it?

    • @disneyfied-sundquist7349
      @disneyfied-sundquist7349 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@TonyGoldmark Just the fact that Johnny Depp's an abuser. That's not really your fault, so much as it was all we "Heard" about 😏🤣 Johnny's not perfect but I think his case was absolutely made in Court. Like I said, very compelling review. You and your friends articulate your thoughts and opinions so well 🤌

    • @TonyGoldmark
      @TonyGoldmark  ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@disneyfied-sundquist7349 Personally I think they're both abusers.

    • @disneyfied-sundquist7349
      @disneyfied-sundquist7349 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@TonyGoldmark Fair enough

    • @disneyfied-sundquist7349
      @disneyfied-sundquist7349 ปีที่แล้ว

      But I respectively disagree

  • @cjmoore9966
    @cjmoore9966 7 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I kinda thought it was universally accepted that whole Johnny Depp beat his wife thing was just a scandal Amber Heard was trying to start because she was bitter about the divorce. I do want to give Depp the benefit of the doubt, but the evidence seems to be in his favor regardless.

    • @emmalooman
      @emmalooman 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Whelp this aged like fine wine

  • @disneylandw
    @disneylandw 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thinks to just STAR WARS LAND and a Mickey Mouse ride both coming to Disneyland.
    THIS just makes Jack Sparrow feels SO dated now even when i went there plus KINGDOM HEARTS 3 also has a PIRATES level....
    That sucky(thankfully)short lived projection show...thing at MGM Disney with Sparrow just showing up for no good reason!?
    WHY THE HELL are they still trying to make Sparrow a thing at this time.....he's not funny anymore and boring(Depp don't want to be in this film)
    God what was so the point of forcing him into FANTASMIC with a shrieking female(maybe Carina?)and it still DOESN'T fit?
    Again what is Disney's point with "promoting" Sparrow if Depp is toxic and this "main character" become a drunk moron that not even a 6th film would save if any....think god for a reboot with the Redhead replacing this godless "thing" shell of a character from that first good film.