Why Are We Afraid of Confident Women?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 มิ.ย. 2021
- This week, The Swaddle team explores the history of the confidence gap between men and women.
Edited by: Neha Shekhawat
Scripted by: Anushka Dias
Presented by: Anahita Sachdev
Visual research: Samiksha Mathur
Produced by: Shrishti Malhotra
Creative Supervisor: Karla Bookman
Want to learn more about the research in this video? Check out these readings:
-Lenney, Ellen, Joel Gold, and Chris Browning. "Sex differences in self-confidence: The influence of comparison to others' ability level." Sex Roles 9, no. 9 (1983): 925-942.
-McMahon, Mary, and Wendy Patton. "Gender differences in children and adolescents' perceptions of influences on their career development." The School Counselor 44, no. 5 (1997): 368-376.
-Walsh, Judith E. Domesticity in Colonial India: What women learned when men gave them advice. Rowman & Littlefield Publishers, 2004.
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And how many times have we women ourselves participated in breaking down other women's confidence? I think we're often taught that from the time we're children, and devalue the care work mothers do for us.
Thats what we need to break, break the chain!
oh, yes! that's a very good point. we, women, have to support other women and push each other up.
My Grandma used to taunt my mother everytime because she gave birth to a girl (me) . Whenever I talk to her about my dreams and studies she always brings up marriage from the time I was born my Grandma never loved me my aunt recently had a son and she told my aunt infront of my mom ' You are very lucky to have a son who will oneday take care of us unlike our elder daughter in law's daughter' I was so shocked. Just because I am a girl doesn't mean I can't take care of the family . This isn't only a problem about my family but also for many other families where daughters aren't given the importance they should receive
agreed 100%
@@mili_008 that must be very disheartening for you! Hopefully they will understand your value in their lives.
'Why are we afraid of confident women?' It's because if she's confident and knows her worth, she will stand up for herself and not take your shit. Men won't be able to have control over her.
Agreed. And they don't give a shit about what others think.
🙌🙌🙌
True 😊
✌️ yeah. Confident women dont take a shit from men. Thats what hurt many men's ego.
Exactly
People confuse confidence with arrogance, if she spits facts and command then people just label her as bad women.
High time that we should stop caring about those idiots who say that
@@nohopeorhoes sadly those idiot include whole 🌎 🤕
@@vijayluxmimaddheshiya5968 not exactly
Because they were too habituated with submissive women and now since women resist ,they tag us as "Selfish" "feminazi",etc. And it's always the men who aren't capable 😂
Yes
Patriarchay is afraid of confident women because they may loose their authority over their unpaid servent
This comment is so underrated
Wow this so cool I wonder if it's legit
@White_Nigga3000 be mature and clever , learn to read between the lines.
@White_Nigga3000 dimag chor bazar pe bech aya hai ya English ati nhi?
@White_Nigga3000 they have to work double to get the basic needs
House --> cleaning and other maintenance (check taps, showers, electric, devices are working or not)
Food --> prepare and serve time to time (even to guests.. There is a tendency of some ppl, those who actively don't cook etc, are tend invite Guests) + Doing dishes, buying Groceries
Clothes : washes for entire house, get it ceaseless and kept back to respective cupboards.
*Housekeeping is a full time, UNDERPAID, monotonous, Continuous JOB* Housewives have No Social life.. They have to work even More during Festivals/Holidays...
_Men get off time, they will go hand out with friends, play sports, drink, if at home watch TV... And when children misbehave, indulge in wrong activities--> all Mother's fault.. Make sense Father was busy living His life to the fullest.._
Confident women are seen as arrogant and 'bad'😐
Ya, and that is disgusting.
Why do we need to give a shit if we're confident in ourselves?
Coz they are ... Just look at u Aunty ji 35+
@@villain2617 oh no honey they don't. Confident women are the best unlike misogynistic men
@@vladeta7090 But ur Name suggests something Else
Title : Why are we afraid of confident women ?
Answer lies in the question itself. If she is confident, she won't take your shit.
OOF that was a good one
Yes...... She won't take people's shit...... But a woman like that is often sidelined..... She is isolated in office and in social gatherings.... So her choices are, either don't let others walk all over you and remain isolated all your life or take shit, be with people but internally keep hating yourself.....
That's some shitty choices provided by Patriarchy.... And not only to women but to all genders..... As long as they go with the flow, they are good enough to be friends with and when they speek up they are the satins incarnation , themselves......
@@aditivarshney9901 I would choose to isolate myself from idiots.
@@nohopeorhoes That is actually a good choice.
@Dr strange Correct.
The name of this series shouldn't be OVERTHINKING it should be START THINKING
@@kim_bhai_jong cry.....
So true!
Yup...
U r right
Repeat this till they read!!
As Cruella De Vil put it to Anita in ‘101 Dalmatians’: “More good women have been lost to marriage than famine, disease and disaster...You have talent, darling. Don’t squander it.”
Actually she was right but they showed her as a villian
@@sanasayed5793 th-cam.com/video/WBGuQl39XC0/w-d-xo.html (Best video on the subject)
Yes omg
@@sanasayed5793 TBH most female villains you will see will be ambitious or really smart and brave but Disney demonizes these values and depict them as villains to show women (of the 20th century) that these qualities erase their femininity, and eradicate them in society's perspective.
@@janhaviojha8567 I think you are cherry picking..... Elsa is confident and smart, so is Mulan.... This is the tragedy... Confident women can be villain too.... Yes Disney has problems but it has evolved with time.... We really can't compare two things from two different time periods
also adding to this are women who can't digest other women success and then tend to internalize that those women got lucky, and make the women feel guilty of their success further making it difficult for the women in the institute to own thier success and be the role models.
Yes that is absolutely true. Women is not supportive of another women due to jealousy,hatred etc etc. Even in families it is often seen that this ugly side of women is clearly exposed. Workplaces too have it.
@@bhoomisharma5678 A woman is jealous to everyone except her children.
@@bhoomisharma5678 yes many women will like to be called feminist only until it helps them climb the ladder, if it does not or they see other women getting successful they start calling feminism a unjust system mostly to be ally to other gender and render themselves more equal. This ugly side needs to be addressed.
@@Legend-mf7mj not always, there are supportive women that is why some of us today are educated and have choices to do good.
Many Libbie women attacking Kangana just coz she is Right wing
As Queen Taylor Swift said there are different vocabularies for men and women in the world
In our world, a man is confident but a woman is arrogant. A man is uncompromising but a woman is a ball-breaker. A man is assertive, a woman is aggressive. A man is strategic, a woman is manipulative. A man is a leader, a woman is controlling. A man is authoritative, a woman is annoying. The characteristic or behaviour is the same. What is different is the sex. And based on the sex, the world makes assumptions
*A man is strategic, A woman is Calculated
And the queen is always right!
@@shinchannohara2102 yeah I know..but I added some more points to her saying😁
She Changed Wifi password
@@TheJanavar and you are absolutely correct
This is so terribly a real problem....I faced it myself, sadly ,and that to in my school classes and coaching sometimes by teachers and mostly by my classmates {male} ; I was made to believe I am not good enough for JEE or not so intelligent enough despite performing good in exams and even after scoring 99.51046 percentile in JEE mains.....
Even now I have self doubts....this is so terrible even the youngest bright brains ( the one I faced )of our country couldn't counter misogynist and chauvinistic attitude.
You go girl, your results prove your self worth. I personally love seeing faces of people who pull me down, after i achieve something. I preping JEE too btw.
Well wishes to you
congrats/kudos for your score....and don't worry about the bullying and all those creepy ones...people usually bully/scare u because u're better than the one who's tried to pull u down.....
Your results speak the truth not the people who surround you. You go girl! Don't let people who don't have the best interest at heart dictate your future
You go girl!!!
That is why I hate when people say, behind every successful man there is "women".
I hate the saying as well! For every person's success, it is their own hardwork and sacrifices irrespective of gender!
Yeah..it indirectly says women must sacrifice everything and stand behind a man for him to be successful
Work hard for yourself..
Irrespective of any gender
Yes, I too hate this statement because this statement is completely false.
Behind every successful man there is not always a woman. It is completely false.
Yes if a person has achieved success , then the credit must to go to them itself .
Maybe that means thar person's mother....It can be possinle too...
My great grandmother was the first female teacher in our district in kerala and people hated the fact that a woman was working so they threw stones at our house but later after women got rights to vote everything became normal and they earned a lot of respect from the community
Conclusion: Don't give up your dream or passion because of other people since their opinion will always change but your career will remain constant.💪🏽
Was it before 1950? Because women had the right to vote when the constitution itself was created right?
Also these kind of shit heads still exist in the society as in case of seetha Lakshmi who wasn't allowed inside the apartment after coming home late from work.
@@sgsan705 yes of course it was my great grandmother. Even though right to vote was given for women not many used it in the beginning in our district. It took some time for women to recognise their strengths and rights.
This makes me proud of being a malayali 👍❤️
@@anamenouknow5197 stone pelting? Damn that's scary
I remember my ex telling me "If you are too ambitious then we cannot be together, it will interfere in our relationship"😒 He had a problem if I showcased more confidence and more knowledge than him. Talk about an insecure weasel!! His mom was like these corporate jobs are not suitable for women... The day women start standing up for each other instead of bng crabs, majority of the issues would be resolved!
SO TRUE!
oof good that he's an "ex"
but i don't get the problem. Here i am trying to see this from both sides. Maybe he is concerned or seen examples of how a person being overambitious can hurt relationships. Maybe he is not that ambitious then clearly he wouldn't want an overambitious person. Also , he made it clear to you what his preferences are, but instead of behaving like a mature adult and leaving him for good, you and the gals couldn't refuse a good bashing.
Imagine a scenario, where a man says "If you are not ambitious, sorry i don't think we have a match", is he wrong to think that? Can't that be justified that he doesn't want a nobody as a wife but a woman who has earned her keep too? Would women be wrong themselves for wanting a partner like themselves? Points to ponder instead of spreading the "YASS gal" energy everywhere. Or aren't people allowed to have a choice?
@@chaitanyagupta6668 ofcourse it was my mistake that I didnt leave him. U dont get it!! And I dont expct u to. I am not bashing the entire male race but just giving an example of one crooked fella. And yes he was crooked!! What do u call a guy who himself goes out and about with friends and creates ruckus if his gf does the same? Who asks his gf to choose between her parents and him? Who prevents her from giving an exam by almost tearing off the admit card? Who sexts other girls and after getting caught tells the gf that he felt like doing so? A guy who physically and mentally abuses the person he proclaims his love to?? I can go on and on and on dear!! But then again u wont get it. Have u ever been on the receiving end of such things? Ofcourse not! YES THE FAULT IS MINE.. I WAS A TWENTY YEAR OLD STUPID WOMAN COMPLETELY DELUSIONAL IN LOVE ALL ALONE IN THE CITY WITHOUT FRIENDS OR FAMILY BORDERLINE SUFFERING FROM STOCKHOLM SYNDROME... I WAS ABUSED AND OFCOURSE IT WAS MY FAULT. AND I GRACEFULLY ACCEPT IT I HAVE NO SHAME IN DENYING THAT I WAS THAT STUPID AND SPINELESS... Its so easy ro tell someone you got abused and it was your fault...
AND TALKING OF GUY BASHING.. WHAT DID U JUST DO IN YOUR OWN POST DEAR.. DO REFLECT ON THAT... Peace be with you.
@@chaitanyagupta6668 U JUST BASHED THE ENTIRE FEMALEDOM AND CALLED ME OUT FOR BASHING MY ABUSER JUST BECAUSE YOU BOTH ARE MEN.. U DONT EVEN KNOW THE GUY!!! REFLECT REFLECT REFLECT
WOMEN ARE NOT MAN HATERS, BUT I CANT SAY THE SAME FOR OUR COUNTERPARTS FROM THE EXPERIENCES THAT I HAVE HAD... i will sersly pray for u
Men are conditioned to aim high and are told things like ‘You need to be an earning member’ and ‘You’re not a girl so we can’t skimp on you’ and the disproportionate amount of expectations can crush men. So, it’s a no-win situation: Women’s talents are overlooked and Men feel validated for carrying burden they may not be able to bear but are obligated to.
I have the same opinion they try to push every burden to men which disregarding females talents. PATRIARCHY IS NOT GOOD FOR ANY GENDER BE IT MALE, FEMALE OR TRANS
True!
@@mimis.5139 oh really? Try convincing trolls and incels😂
@@swatisaini6447 u mean our lovely guys who are hell bent saying females=feminazi... naa ji I dnt wanna waste my time on them🥴😂
Exactly why we need feminism so men won't be pressured and women won't be discouraged
Very well analysed. When a woman express her anger she's seen as "creating a scene" but when a man does that it's "the bravery". When a woman raises her voice it's that "her parents didn't teach her manners" when a man does that "he commands".
When a female perform better than males in a field, they become competitive and try to make her feel inferior in other fields.
Apne man mein kahani banaate raho🤣
Accurate explaination 👍
On point
@@shresthmaurya5687 apne man mein kahani banate raho 🤣
fuck Male ego🤣..go hustle girl....don't pay heed to those insecure men who will not be able to tolerate it bcz they want to be a ALPHA😂😂
I totally relate to this ....my mom is an extremely confident women and some womens around us consider her as a snooty women
That's really sad....
@@pragyaraj3925 she said extremely confident means overconfident and arrogance.be confident and be polite and understanding to other people .my mother is also a extremely confident woman but everytime due to her overconfidence she disrespects and taunt me and my father ,because my father is a very sweet,pateint ,and innocent type of guy.and my overconfident mother taunt me and my father to be so innocent .confidence rakho but arrogance rakho gay to tumaharay taunts aur rude opinions say doosron ko hurt ho sakta hai ,jesay mai aur meray father jo humasha bas mom kay rude tanay.
Same with my mom but eventually the women in her circle started liking her as they got to know her better.
Apni mummy ko MERI Taraf se Dou hugs dena ❤️❤️❤️. I've been raised up by my single mother but my mom is oblivious and submissive kind of woman yet courageous . Aajkal masoomiyat chupake rakhni padti h .
I am raised by single mother. I always wished her to be more stronger. If a woman is smart and strong then only she can better support her husband, kids and family.
Nagging and disrespectful people are always discouraged when educated or uneducated.
I have realized that people find it very difficult to deal with not just a woman but a competent woman. With a woman who has a mind of her own, who is not going to be told off, who's going to draw lines. If you're a pliant and compliant woman who's going to follow the lead without threatening anybody's position then you're an ideal woman as per society.
👌👌
Absolutely.this coming from a man, means alot.thankyou..one educated women in family wants young women in the family to get married by 18 .as she misunderstands the girls speaking their mind to arrogance. They don't want women to take a stand for themselves and lead an independent life..as they are not "obeying elders".....🤦🤦 She lead her whole life obeying her in-laws.n now is not able to deal with young women in the family not taking B.s from elders
Amidst of this Video I remembered Vidya Balan's role in Mangalyan. Her husband was so happy when she decided to leave her job but her son was genuinely concerned coz he knew his mom's life was all about being with Science.😂😂😂 wat a husband material her husband was... even my mom was like i dnt want such a husband in the 1st half of the movie and I made her remember she is ALREADY MARRIED AGES AGO. My dad was dying laughing in the corner.
🤗🤗
Can we just compliment the current IT culture in India. In majority of the cases , there are a lot of women in leadership roles. There is good ratio of men to women. It’s still not perfect but it’s still better than a lot of industries right now.
Me being from IT field yep I have never faced discrimination in our field. But at 1st ppl tends to look down and once u prove it they will encourage u more and challenge u it leads to healthy competition
Once an old professor tried to neglect the girls and only wanted to focus on the guys. The guys were so annoyed that they came to us with proposal of sitting together. And from nxt day in his class we sat together and he couldn't neglect us after that seeing our competency in solving problem questions😂 Good Memories
I agree
@@kim_bhai_jong yeah, institutionalized ones trying to balance a bit with the ones got as paternal rights.
@@kim_bhai_jong yeah if being born to a rich dad deserves a good career or great life.
And what do u think, just anyone would avail the reservations? Well, just for ur info, only the cut offs or bars are a little low or in more efficient cases the number of candidates are increased, that makes it more probable to have two competing candidates with same level of performance but different privileges and then the less priveleged one is chosen. But u see, this requires more work on the lazy asses, so instead of making the reservation a successful mecanism in curving a balance, many authorities either blame it itself or pick up whoever they want. And people (like u, most probably) blame reservation for challenging that lazy priveleged asses of urs.
This change is only visible in IT sector simply because it's the most physically comfortable working sector in India right now with mostly professional individuals. While apart from IT sector, all other sectors in India are hustling sectors which requires you to have physical dexterity and mechanism to cope up with very rude and many times abusive clients and working conditions for which the ideal personnel are always men
This is so true. I study in a college of national importance, NIT Allahabad. You need to clear JEE exam regardless of your gender to get an admission there but in the college we are treated by our male friends and professors as if we are just lucky and it was a cake walk for us. And when you call them out, they pretend as if it was just a light joke or something.
Getting an NIT (on top of that NIT Allahabad) in itself is so coooooooool, you don't need anyone's validation girl🤘
I can guarantee your calling them out on bullshit is exactly the type of confidence they are scared of
Giving this year.. hopefully I'll be able to crack it. 🙀
Yes this is also the problem whenever a girl calls someone out or even tell truth they act like it was joke and blame u for not being able to take a joke , and again give u labels and question ur sanity.
@Spell Check There is a feeling of jealousy amongst them i have seen, that you are just part of a herd of GEMs but girls always stand out being a minority with sorted professional lives with multiple companies wanting them specially and fantastic personal life where you are picking the best mate out of plenty options.....win win in both case ......and depressing situation for the guys...
Infect, in girl's down confidence are also dedicated to her mother and other women in their house.they forced them to be a households. Since their childhood, they faced humiliation for being a girl. That partiality make their self-confidence down.
So true
@I live for Taehyun's raspy voice .
Also women have a lot of competition among themselves especially in the paid workforce. Whenever a woman rises the corporate ladder or any professional ladder, she is viewed as either ‘too close to the boss’ or ‘must have slept her way up.’ And the best part is, these things are said by women themselves. This creates a lot of unhealthy competition among women and therefore women lack confidence to achieve higher goals. Like I mentioned in one of @TheSwaddle community post. Why are women who rise up assumed that she has taken favours? Women must stop putting other women down and start support in other women.
@@Ayisha4889 that might be in few cases but assumptions regarding every female who is in top of the ladder is atrocious.
Also your question has an If, when a prsn is a suspect they are not punished till they are proved guilty. Here if ppl goes on spouting rumors just imagine how cornered will the lady feel if she really rode the ladder with talents.
@@Ayisha4889 What you are talking about is a very rare case. But in most cases women who are in professional settings Despite working three times harder than their male counterparts, face criticism and shaming with the most common tactic of sleeping with the boss for being over friendly with the superiors. Nobody has questioned a Man regarding his character at workplace and how he rose to the top. In fact I have personally witnessed women character assassinating other women at workplace with this very tactic, leading to lack of self-confidence among women themselves.
@@Ayisha4889 Your reply is like "Ladki kabhi jhuth bol hi nhi sakti?"..sis male get molested and harassed by their female boss to..but logic "A girl never ask for sex" and tadaa.."Male try to rape his female boss" on the newspaper next day.
@@Ayisha4889 They give period leaves? Where in the world? Plus, maternity leaves would've been given to men as well if they could bear children!
The feminist movement was brought about so that things could be safer for women, so that they could work overtime like men. So, make the society safer to travel and be in even at night and we'll work late!
@@Ayisha4889 Rape means having sexual relations with a person who hasn't consented. If a man doesn't want to have sex but a woman forced him, it's rape!
Ha, for you men are omnipotent aren't they?
Because when a person becomes confident, they know how to draw boundaries and it bothers those who benefited from them having none 🤸🏻♀️
true.period
My dad lived in another state because of his job and so me and my sister lived with mum. The amount of nonsense my mum dealt everyday. She never took help from the neighbours so they were so mad. Burnt our clothing ropes , make noise when ever we had to study etc. Another neighbour broke the glass of a single mom(also a neighbour and she was an insurance officer) . It was too much and I had my boards that year so we shifted localities . Rented a house with an awesome widowed landlady. We told her what we faced in our previous neighborhood and she said she understands and faces the same thing everyday. Her neighbours hated her. They would dump garbage on the property, pee on her gates and spread nasty rumours. Finally left that place for good. Live with my dad now and it's so much more better. But I wanna live alone and I want to be as strong as these women.
I wish you success ❤️.
It's true majority people in society can't handle independent women and will do anything they can to create problem for her. They are actually jealous of her strength bcz they couldn't be like her . People are like " they're not sad for their own life troubles they are sadder from others happiness." They can't tolerate independent women to be happy . They are fixated on she must be dependent.
Males are jealous bcz it hits their ego . They can't stand to see that women doesn't need help. They seek validation from women by suppressing her.
And females are jealous bcz I have suffered this she must suffer it too how can she be happy.
Ya even single working woman living in her own rented apartment.. Comes under the radar.. Who is coming and going.. Wat time is she coming in etc..
I am suffering from this same problem,,,,my mom is a single parents (Separated)...she is a teacher ...but society and neighbors specifically females torture us ...we r going through very bad condition
We had a college lecturer once who bluntly told us that no matter how hard we tried, men were always going to be a shade more skillful than us
An unmarried woman will always be called unsuccessful and incomplete no matter what her achievements are. Even if she creates a new planet, she will only be that poor unmarried woman
Infact marriage makes women miserable. Weddings are the biggest scam in our society. It's funny that since childhood we're fed with the bs that one's aim in life is to get married and that's where all your problems end.
They want to trap women into marriage so they can keep exploiting us.
Sushmita sen laughing in the corner
@@prerna2304 as a man I agree
They are truly scam in modern times
@@femmefatale3598 you have the right to decide for yourself girl
Don't marry at all
My mother could have been an doctor ....
But she got married at 20 .
And now she is 24 /7 household work
Baring 3 children , following the orders of her husband.....
And That all .
Because of household work and the responsibility to take care of their children so much, mothers are not able to follow their dreams or just do what they love. I wish we could all change this someday
Why did u reffer husband but not papa?
@@vaishnaviprasad4817 maybe because only her mom is responsible for the survival of marriage . This means he is the husband but the wife doesn't get treated like a wife . And giving a sperm / egg doesn't make you a parent .
@@vaishnaviprasad4817 because she is talking from her mother's perspective .. ... And sometimes it's just make girls feel like hell.. When they see their mothers are suffering for their husband and that husband is disrespecting Or not thankful for that.... Soo they say such things.... I mean i do love my dad very much so as he... But i hate his behavior on my mother's household job...... And i do try do stop him but i had a very little control over their relationship
@@NehaSingh-tj8ng u can be right. However in my home,, my father obey my mom....
Love the editing of this video
Me too
fr. huge kudos to neha!
Yes! As a system, we need to stop making women question themselves.
As a system there is always pressure on men to earn more and more for Their family. A men never gets finicially independent and this is the harsh truth of society. What if a men want to take rest from his duties. This is a matter which no one discuss as I have never seen a women talking about it
Ok then date a guy who is short less intelligent and isn't as successful as you are let's see what happens
Because us guys do not any problem dating down and women don't date down they date up or equal at least
@@Unknown-vu2ne lol these stereotypes of high earner taller smarter older guy are set by women themselves because women are hypergamous in nature and even if you're so called open minded person, in the long run you would want the guy to earn at least as same amount as you or rise to your level. And if he doesn't and decides to settle for less you will leave him eventually but that's not the case with us guys we can easily date down.
But you know what date a basic avg guy eho earns less than you and have kids with him and then if divorce happens be ready to pay alimony/child support as he is "less" financially stable. 🤣🤣
I appreciate whenever I see a confident & successful women.. Even our previous Deputy Commissioner was a women & she maintain very well during 2020 covid crises.. We should be happy to see other's success & try to be like them.. There should be no Gender Inequality
So underrated comment
@@lazynerd0088 Actually There should be respect for those who achieved success & those who are serving our society by different means & professions
@@SachinSharma-lh3ld indeed dude....
I remembered the movie 'The devil wears Prada' as I read the title. Miranda is termed as 'the devil' in the movie because she micromanages everything and makes sure that everyone does what they are assigned, perfectly. She confident and badass but a little bit assertive and strict with her employees. People refer to her as bitch and the devil and dergradatory terms like that. However in many movies male bosses who show similar attributes are termed as 'ambitious'.
Well observed👏🏻👏🏻
Nicely written. But I think it should be derogatory instead of degrodratory. ❤️
True! I personally admired her in the movie!
World is always afraid of women who is not afraid
Someone. 👑
Applies to anyone who's bold.
Instead of being proud of them society blames them and often these women are addressed as arrogant, shameless etc
But why?? Why can't women be independent and confident on herself?? 😶 This thinking should be changed..!!😤
So they don't exist?
Just asking
I was 8 when I saw my mom crying in her room. We had just returned from an event and I asked her about. She told me, "My third child was supposed to be a boy" and then weeped. I'm her third daughter. When I was a kid, my dad was away for his job and mom was everything to me. It broke my heart when I realised she always regretted having me. It wasn't her fault tho. All our relatives kept blaming her for having three daughters and giving all the burden to my dad. As if she had anything to do with it. As if we were a burden.
I wish I never entered that room that day. It's been in my head ever since and whenever I took a decision. I'm 21 now and just graduated. I worked really hard to be financially independent so I can support them and maybe change her mind. But, it seems I can never win. Now, they're afraid if I'll get out of their control since I can take care of myself. Now they're rushing to marry us off before I do sth "unsanskari".
And the reason they worry this about me is bc I fell in love with someone while in college. I wasn't really a fan of dating bc I always felt it would make them sad. The only reason I agreed to that relationship was bc we were helping each other grow. For real. We were pretty much dumb but full of dreams and passion when we met each other. But we worked hard together. Study sessions, Hackathons, Projects.. We hardly ever went on any dates bc that helpless 8 yo in me kept making excuses. This ultimately resulted in a break up, ofc.
Forget dating. I was never allowed to hangout with even with my girlfriends outside school or college, go for movies (Up until a certain age, I thought movie theaters were only for males and started pirating with guilty). Heck, I couldn't even go to this library I always wanted to go bc my mom didn't want me to go alone. But thanks to internet and all the free stuff. I have to admit they gave me unlimited access to internet. Which was also a luxury to many girls I've met in my life.
I made a career for myself, but currently my brain is in some sort of freeze mode. Some months ago, I was in a discussion and this dude said, "Girls get too far with luck". They were discussing about diversity initiatives in tech and how girls are getting opportunities with 0 skill set. And my confidence level dropped to 0. I small part of me knows how hard I worked to get this far. But the rest of me isn't convinced. Everything my mentors tell me in work meetings translate to "You're too stupid to understand any of this.. You just got by this far with luck...". Idk why I took that silly comment seriously, but it managed to never leave my head and it's been 4 effing months since I'm having trouble getting anything done, I just want to focus on my work... ;_;
So yea, patriarchy in India ruined my life. Bless all the girls out there living similar or worse lives.
Hiii!!! So- Umm- I'm proud of you ! You're really strong and i believe that you can achieve more success in your work !! Just believe in yourself and don't focus on what others will say , i know it is hard but you can overcome every tough situation ! (even i think way too much sometimes but then I'm like Fck it bruh idc💀) . Remember to believe in yourself and love yourself!!!
My life is same
You're really brave...I'm so so proud of you. Please cut out the negativity from your mind. You're too precious to feel insecure.
You are doing great , please dont doubt yourself and ignore the others, do what you would like to do :)
I hope that the world will change in the future and maybe the parents will cry because their child is a boy and not a girl. Good luck with everything and work girl. They also told me that I'm lucky and I always answer "if it's luck why didn't it happen to you?"
I'm not even religious! Imagine how they felt 😂
Confident women's are not arrogant, arrogant women's are arrogant.
And yes there also exists arrogant women's, so men.
You don't represent all men
People see confident woman as arrogant because patriarchy 🙂. There is way much difference between arrogance and confidence which ur ego can't handle
at the end so called confident independent women marry men who is much richer than her.
so end of the day she has to obey her rich husband
@Shruti Tripathy hamesha hota hai and its a universal truth.
@@redpilled4872 on point💯
@@redpilled4872 you are speaking as if u know all the confident women on this planet 😏
@@redpilled4872 even when the husband is not rich enough women are expected to 'obey' their husband.
I don't care if the society fears strong women. I AM and WILL be a strong woman! Flaunt it, ladies!
They don't fear it
Just don't be too carried away to call anyone's bulshit be it anyone
But Don't be arrogant
Kabhi kabhi aap hypocrite nahi bnti h... I like it.... My sister is confident lady in fact wo hmara pura ghar chlati hai my college fees and all our house expense....
Proud on her and also 💓
Dear girls,
Please aim for being 'bad' women! Be confident! Believe in yourself. Rise high!
Edit:After reading the replies,I just wanna clarify.one thing:-
In the society women are labelled as 'bad' or 'unsanskaari' if they are confident,having a successful career and calls out migogyny!
@@sisa3277 okay IG there is a misunderstanding!
See,mostly when a woman is outspoken society labels them as 'bad' that's why I said-be bad. Speak out your rights! Be confident!
@@dayadarwazatoddo5921 what?
Why not humble and firm. People like you derailed the feminism movement turned it into feminazi. so sad :(
@@s.s5729 like the zomato boy incident. A 'confident' girl accused him falsely
@@s.s5729 my bad then, ma’am.
I apologise
Loved today's video. It touched a personal cord. Back when I was in school, outperforming other students, a group of boys particularly targeted me for performing better and for simply no other reason. It was a hell year for me and I wasn't that bold to stand up for myself. Took me a long time to realise that I was simply a new student in the batch and performing better.
Yes I have seen this too . How people are jealous from intelligent girls . And some Boys talk so much shit about her. As I was not the intelligent one I used to observe and listen what others are talking about and I have seen it heard it everything. Some even planned to have relationship and then breakup so she would get less marks for some time. It's so silly but I have seen it happening .
this is such an interesting topic. although I attributed confidence to a certain amount of privilege i always thought of it as more nature than nurture. it was eye opening to see how confidence plays out when viewed through a gendered perspective. great stuff guys!
I like the phrase that u used,"always thought of it as more nature than nurture"... don't know why but it was strong and obvious!!
Actual truthful answer to the question: nobody is afraid of confident women.
Nobody's afraid of confident women we just can't deal with bs women say confidentially.
@@Shivashankaran55that means your afraid of confident women😂
@@soultune908 I think women are afraid of confident men, bcuz we are winning and our winning is strengthening the patriachy 😂
We don't need someone 's encouragement to be confident, we just need to believe in ourselves. And in order to make us do that the personal we see in the mirror is enough. #queen of my own world.
Queen is the other name of courage.
The problem is most viewers of such videos are only women... these kinds of stuff needs to be shared more among men too..
Agree. In court when a man displays aggression, he's a competent lawyer. But when a woman does the same, she is throwing a tantrum.
I was a published author at the age of 15, and I made all the necessary arrangements including the financial paperwork. Even so, the moment my relatives found out everyone started praising my parents, because of course, I'm a girl and my successes must be attributed to someone else, right? Every time I do anything, it's always thanks to someone else. But god forbid I attribute my success to my own diligence and determination. Then I'm immediately dubbed a "bad daughter" and "ungrateful and selfish". It's so pathetic.
Thank yourself first and always the most in the acknowledgements of ur books. You're are the sole reason for ur own success. Proud of you Girl
NOBODY IS AFRAID OF THEM .....PEOPLE ARE JUST AFRAID THAT THEY WILL STOP BEING SERVANTS
It's true some people in society don't like & discourage women to be confident n independent. I remember when I had pursued my engineering that tym my neighbor aunty told my mother not to allow me to do engineering bcz engineering ladkiya ladko ke Sath bhag jati Hai (logic Dekh rhe ho auntiji ka 🙄🙄)
But thankfully God my parents aren't like that. They allow me to choose whatever I wanna do. And always encourage me in my life to be independent. Specially my mom ❤😘
@❤ yep. 😂😂
@@siri7534 aunty ke bhi galti nhi hai !
Well people hear and see things and start believing .
@@bhupesh3442 really!!! Then don't u think they're believing in wrong things by connecting education with someone's character? Ofc aunty is wrong. Or u also one them who believing n agreeing with aunties thought. 🙄 I pity you then.
Haa, dikhai de raha hei aunty ka logic😂😂😂
Unse pucho.....aapki beti bhagi thi kya 😅lol
As a son of confident women i would proudly say that i feel very proud as whenever my mother talks everyone listen her carefully not only in our family but also in our society because she conveys her views boldly and in respected manner and also have strong opinion to have a confident daughter in law😊😊😊
*And my father always respect her boldness and confident nature*
I feel like this should be understood by parents more than us. Everytime i get a notification from the channel i feel like running and showing it to my mom. I hope atleast our generation should realise this and live accordingly!
There's nothing more beautiful than a women who's confident. It's gives me a sense of relief to have someone who I can rely upon in my weakest time. I thank my mom for being the most confident women in my life. ❤️ You mom and all the women that fight for it each day.
I just wish this could reach more public, you guys, your work is highly underrated and deserves more credit then just a few hundred views , !!!!!!!!
Its a shout-out to general population
who observe such issues as mere overthinking and not deservedly required changes ❤️
Swaddle single handedly wiped off the nature vs. nurture conundrum. Bravo on research 👏👏
Society is afraid of confident and bold women because they know a strong woman won't let others the charge of their life. they are confident and self reliant.
If u r talking about relationship then yes both partners need to be OK to loose their arguments.
The "Ego" factor shouldn't come in between.
What i have observed from my experiences is confident women turn egoistic in these discussions. They get this mentality of "no way I should loose this argument".
So yes men aren't scared of confident ones but r definitely scared of the ones who are egoistic in debates.
I mean just like women don't want toxic control freak men...
Men also don't want women who are s obsessed only with their opinions in debates which generally happen in any relationship.
At the end of the day Mental Peace matters right.
@@mrbme Toxicity of any sense is not appreciated. The only thing is that women are taught to be bear male ego but men consider it very repulsive to accept a female's ego. Ego as a concept is toxic and it should not be coming from any side.
This is so true. My parents always labelled my confidence as 'arrogance' and 'pride that would bring my downfall'. I was 8 when they started.
Women need to recognize their worth and then the rest of the world will, we need to appreciate and empower each other. And if this leads us to be a lil more confident, so, them fearing us will be worth it.
Please don't think of you as any separate and distinct from us. God. On one side we have these MGTOW idiots because one girl cheated on them and on the other hand we have these male hating feminazis who think just because their mother's ambitions couldn't be materialized by her all men treat their wives that way and women inherently have to give up on their dreams if they have any. Both are unimaginably dumb.
We know your worth. We love you. The way you walk,the way you speak, your whole existence. We are blessed to have you. It is not us vs you.
Many men can't digest the fact that a woman can be smarter and more powerful than them
Can be but generally they are not
Now you also digest it
@@shresthmaurya5687 🤣🤣 nailed it bro
@@shresthmaurya5687 Yes they are not because their families / in laws told them "PRETEND TO BE DUMBER THAN MY SON OR HIS EGO WILL BE HURT"
Oops...dyou need some dyspepsia medicine to digest that? I can give you some
It's so hard to find that confidence. I always feel like "oh if I listen to my father and do whatever he wants to, I won't fail and I will be successful and happy". But I'm never allowed to do something which I'M comfortable with, something I like. And even when there is the thought of trying to break away from all this, there's a fear too- what if I fail?
It's the same for men too
and I would say me as well
Women are encouraged in some fields like nursing, teaching etc which is good. People be like padhai karo ache se but if you wanna join the army that is aiming to high and that is bad. This is just an example though.
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис what makes you feel they can't?
@@kavyareddy8711 👏👏👏
@Посейдон Афродита Дионис by aiming higher
Men’s and women’s bodies are different. We are physiologically different and, on average, a man’s body can handle more weight and physical hardship than a woman’s. No one is denying that. But you do realise that a nation's military has many roles for different kinds of people right? Equality requirements are actually the gold standard in combat-focused training. What gender-neutral Army standards exist were not created to qualify more women, they were designed to ensure that standards were not lowered just to qualify more women. The solution to these problems is to create appropriate, realistic, age- and gender-neutral standards for combat arms-not to ban any entire demographic group because there is a weak standard in place. We just need rights and opportunities to defend our country as much as any other man to the best of our abilities. Our abilities might be different than yours but that's okay because everything adds up in the end.
No it's not. Families encourage to join army. Maybe your family don't.
I am 21 right now (2021). And it's my age to get married and settle down according to my mother, even in US. But It's my life, I do the heck I want to do.
Why people are afraid of confident women.
Ans:They don't take orders. They only know language of love and respect.
Some regressive people be like itti mehanat kon karega. 🤦♂️
But I would like to say it happens with men also.
Like some pseudo feminist are too afraid of men disagreeing with them.
Woh mai gawd vat a disovary sardarji
Facts
This should be in top comments..
👏
📠
Society knows if she is confident, she knows how to give it back! Which even they find relevant and right. The reason why they are so afraid is because they hate to be proved wrong. And oppressed! They always want themselves to be in power.
I must compliment the editing work on your videos. It isn't easy to create enough visual stimulation while not having a protagonist/subject. The editor talks simultaneously through pictures. Very well done.
Silently we all know this facts..
But still watched for something more
I guess I have been lucky in this regard. My parents have never shown the slightest preference for my brothers and have never missed an opportunity to encourage me. I am literally told on a daily basis that I can be anything I want to be. And as a result 'confident' is the first word people use to describe me. I have often been shamed by classmates and other acquaintances for being too bold and outspoken. But knowing that my parents are always there to support me has given me the power to disregard what anyone who doesn't matter to me thinks.
Loved the video. So true that confidence is not just related to an individual but the society too which lets the individual fluorish.
It's been 6 months and I'm still in awe of how beautiful, creative and unique editing these videos have.It's so captivating and makes things so interesting and informative,Can't get enough!
I am always amazed by the amount of research you do at Swaddle to bring such awesome and impactful videos. Kudos to the Swaddle Team !!
Thanks, Satya 💛Glad you liked the video!
I think you forgot the most important factor: Parents......while everything you said about School is all True.....but Parents play a huge role in how we view ourselves and hence our confidence
Be encouraged yourself, be confident n be independent girl. 💪
Rain in the city😂😊😆😄
whoever’s the writer is soo bang on the right note. It’s a complete expression without the attachment of blame-shame, underminin of other gender, etc.. Pure reflection of the thoughts. Good work!
Preach! Getting called bossy when being just as confident as a male counterpart.
(correct it girl!) With you, We are not overthinking...We are just thinking Right 👍❤️
Thank you do much for a rounded assessment. Yes, marginalised women are at the brink when it comes to confidence and self esteem building.
It's always been has been this way because patriarchal system was asurely afraid of women's confidence from the very start so they build up system in which women are taught that what they can do or what not where men were that taught that they can accomplish anything. women has always been picturised as support system for those men. This mentality from the very start as developed men as toxic masculinity system where women developing such confidence are picturised as Vam.
Given in the Bollywood or say Hindi cinema we can't understand, we can't stand up with female protagonist roles
This was sooo gorgeous , glad that you are giving a voice to important concerns !!
The main prblm is men don't discriminate women that much as much women discriminate other woman
They do gossips and call characterless
They are the real prblm
Their mindset is the real prblm
@starlight it's also a fact
@starlight No , we are mostly talk about our passion, game, politics not girls. some men do.
Confident women realize self worth and are respectful.
People are afraid of entitled women, who believe that they are some kind of queen whos needs should be taken care of by someone else.
Adding to the main issue is the women's part of self which seems somewhat 'hysterical' (sorry for that usage) which is even justified. For eg. Most of the Confident women who wants to assert or express makes use of authoritative gestures and that's why they are deemed to be arrogant. Whereas in men, they seem to be confident even when not expressing much.
Additionally, in today's scenario, confidence has something to do with how one presents oneself and how other perceive him to be presenting himself (just like Priyanka Chopra always talks about looking confidence to becoming confident). Confidence is an internal character and only the person can tell if she/ he is confident or not.
Why do people judge other's confidence?
Agreed ma’am
Girls are inherently not supposed to be authoritative. Feminine and successful/influential are not really mutual exclusive. Most women tend to miss this. We don't like girls who like to dominate just like women don't like feminine men. You can be feminine,cute,sweet and still rule the world.
Kind of unrelated but my first girlfriend was very strong on the outside but a literal cutie on the inside. That is the SWEEETEEEST thing ever. Girls can't have male traits. Our hormones are different, our brain size and shape is different everything's different. Gender is not a social construct.
BTW did I just mention she was the topper of our class. God she was sweet.
Girls are a blessing. Everything about them is a blessing. The way they walk,the way they speak,the way they move their hands,the way they change their voice in bed, the way they hug us and the way they submit to us. You are mythical angelic creatures with wings attached to your arms. Cute,sweet,majestic,beautiful and a blessing. If you order us to do something We'd do it in a heartbeat. But please don't incorporate male biological traits. Don't try to be authoritative. It looks ugly and unattractive.
The problem with many girls is they try to be like men. Since men are successful,confident and dominant they think that's how confidence looks like which really isnt the case. Correlation does not mean causation. You can't be men.That's not you. You can rule the world being the cute little princesses that you all are. We love you.
@@sisa3277 confidence really isn't about being authoritative.
@@shaswatachatterjee5976 yup, I agree with that a 110%
I don't know how to express my happiness when I see this videos everytime. The things are illustrated based on the studies and conveyed in a lucid and authentic manner. Super!!!
All funded ...
@@mrtriyja7800 funded by who?
@@prachipande2767
Feminist networks / liberal / communist lobby.
@@mrtriyja7800 and you know that how?
The day when boys too will agree and applaud you in the comment section.... I think that would mark the beginning of change for which you say in your every video.
P.S. I love your work and efforts.
This is one of the important issues that had to be addressed.👍
Woww...I saw this video and later on digged deep into this channel....this is exactly the channel which shows dark shady side of society about which I always been interested...i am happy that someone is really accepting that this shady society exists and showing concern about this
At 0:34 when that talk is about self confidence, the woman sits in the most composed manner while the man's leg spreads. Manspreading! Well another underrated yet disturbingly common thing. Waiting eagerly for The Swaddle to bring this up as a video.
Yet, men desire women who are confident. Love the double standards, don’t you think?
Edit (to the people replying me): I get your point of view totally and I do respect it. Probably because I finished reading ‘The Way of the Superior Man’ by David Deida not so long back and my comment is with reference to the title of this video.
Two different types of men. Some like confident and independent women. Some want an obidient housewife who can take care of kids and make food
We like a girl who is strong on the outside but is just as feminine as a girl should be. I wouldn't call it 'confident'
This is what I feel the most ,even while driving, with Equal ability they have higher confidence, whenever I see them driving cuts , I am able to do it so well, but when I am alone I don't perform the same, idk but driving made me feel boys have damn confidence.
Wow the dialogue and attitude of the women on the scooter in the starting clip is full power!
When we were in childhood there were no difference between a boy and girl. We were happy and there was a healthy competition resulting in goodness. But while we are grown up, why there's much differences? What's the problem? Where's the actual difference arising from? Sadly I can't find answers for any of these. But i could only feel that if we treat both men and women as equal eyes like how we were in our childhood. Won't it be amazing?
Sadly for many girls, discrimination starts from childhood.
Yaa that's true , firstly discrimination came from family itself . They thought women as burden . Afterall the "Parayadhan " concept.
@@femmefatale3598 well for boys too
Not in the way like girls
After watching such videos of almost all areas of life etc I've realised ....that if not all but still most of societal problems can be solved by EDUCATION of women....please I request people to fight for women's education
In my family every time I shout and being intolerant my badi mummy used to say this " jab sasural jayegi to 2 din me bhaga denge ' such a cheap mindset and she doesn't even ever talk about my studies and carrier.
Why do u need men ?
Go ur own way ?
BEST YET MOST UNDERRATED CHANNEL ON INDIAN TH-cam. PERIODT.
What is this last word in your comment means?I am seeing this in everywhere nowdays
If my girlfriend is confident and self dependent, then I am very happy. Don't have any fear about this.
You guys are doing such an amazing job
Swaddle is always bang on the point.
I totally agree , whenever I do something gud or achieve I would always end up saying " I was lucky rather than saying it was becoz of my hardworking "
Entrepreneurs r best example, u can find more men in this field.
Wow! This video in itself is just healing! It atleast makes woman realise that they are worthy, and if they are feeling low, it's not because of them but because of the society. What I feel is that, this will enable them to make a perspective change in themselves, and lead confidently despite what others say or think! Really a must watch video🔥
I personally feel more women are against strong women then men against strong women.
@@Unknown-vu2ne i wouldn't use the word studied, but rather say worked. Instagram models can be successful too but i get what u mean.
Inclusion of similar status in workplaces comes from regulations that allow all genders to flourish unrestrained by any factors - be it health, physical security etc. For that we need more and more women in leadership positions making observable policy changes and putting forth a woman's perspective to the forefront right alongside men. Will we ever see for eg. a woman heading and founding a political party on her ideals, winning majority support and forming the government? I think that would definitely bring forth a new tomorrow in our society.
I love the fact u mentioned mentioned when men shows their confidence and express self assurance, they are called as competent and confident. And when women showing the same attitude are called as bossy and incompetent.
Plus , we can see in movies too that they show women with attitude and confident as a bad woman even though do better. And those with the attitude of " I just got lucky" are called as successful and ideal.
When men are not expected to behave ideal , why the hell we should?
the editing of the video is so amazing!! kudos to the team
Thank you 💛