What I can say from experience is that most toxic bosses or companies do have Karma hit them, where either the toxic boss is fired or the company shuts down due to poor management. It might not happen right away, but it does in the future.
😅 That's what I thought. Since I couldn't take the dysfunction at work anymore and stood up for myself, I've been getting a lot of pressure from the whole toxic "family". Surprisingly, there have been a series of multiple break-ins in a row and multiple damages to the building. I've been there for years and haven't experienced anything like this. That was all in half a year. I am a little curious to see what will happen in the future.
At a place where I got shouted at by a colleague and walked out from when I had calmed down I hoped that the place would shut down as they have a fair few rooms empty at present so it wouldn't be a surprise!
It's been two and a half years since I am toxic job-free, I talk like I am in rehab lol. And during these years life has become better and better. But it has been a very slow process. Until now I never thought that recovering from trauma can last so much. I was naive and used to think that if one has been through a traumatic experience, they just cry two days and get over it. Until it happened to me! Everything is getting better. But on rare occasions I still am struck by a flashback and it's nasty. I am really not exaggerating when I say it's just like those anime scenes when a character is suddenly struck by a flashback... It's hard, but don't lose hope. It takes time to heal, just like any trauma.
Great advice… thank you 😊 I left my toxic job about 2.5 months ago. I’m still recovering. After 11 years with multiple toxic coworkers and bosses (I worked for the state), I definitely have spent a fair amount of time trying to analyze why I didn’t leave sooner and why these toxic people never seem to care.
I work for a local government office and I suffered toxicity through bullying in my adult life. This has happened to me since Sept 2022. I have routine meltdowns where I’m hyperventilating crying. I’m medicated and not happy here. How did you survive for 11 years??
Went through this. My toxic manager did not want me conversing with anyone except her about projects and even created paperwork to ensure it was a violation of procedure if I attempted to seek out the assistance and opinions of anyone else on our team. Never mind that everyone else was able to fly over her head and walk in and out of the top manager's office to discuss projects and ask for resources and support.
There was one day I was fed up and was tempted to go to the toxic job and lay into them for all they had put me through leading me on as one minute I had a job and next I hadn't! I thought things through and never did and thought would that job have been happily ever after and no it wouldn't and I reckoned that by accident they had done me a favour getting me out of a place where I wasn't happy!
Hey Jennifer 😊 I just wanted to thank you for you content! You helped me realise that I was in a toxic work envirnoment and that my feelings were complitely vaild. I had something similar to a panick attack one morning before going to work after reading the emails received that night in which my boss was (again) bashing my performance and giving me more taks with unrealistic deadlines. I went to a doctor that day and quit my job a day later without having any plans for the future. I am happy to say I have found a new job in less than two months!! It is a better job in a great company with great boss and I am so so happy I found the currage to quit the toxic job! Thank you for your advices! I hope that everyone reading this and struggling in a toxic job will have just as much luck as me in finding the right job 😊
I'm so proud of you for recognizing what was happening, getting help and taking decisive action 💥 Life on the other side of a toxic job is so good. Sending so many positive vibes your way, and thank you for sharing your story.
Hi Jennifer 👋 - It's good to forgive , but never forget. You are the bigger person by maintaining civility with those who wronged you. They can still be a factor down the line in you landing a job. Thanks as always for the time 😃
If I bumped into my former toxic boss in the street, I'm in a place that I would stop and say hello and ask how things are going. Truly, that's who I am and I want to lift people up not take them down no matter what they have done to me. But that's just me :)
I'm struggling with the "not feeling guilty" part a lot. My current job was full of ups and downs (honestly more downs than ups) and they've just recently fired a very toxic boss we had and apologized to us. We're working again with a previous boss we had until we find a new replacement, and I like this boss. The thing is, I feel guilty for still hating the job and disliking the company and wanting to leave, even though they got us a raise (still doesn't pay enough compared to other places though) and even though they were very understanding of me having to work from home during the pandemic due to my OCD. I don't want to be ungrateful, but I've also had enough out of the bad times to not want to be there for the possibility of good times. I don't know if I'm making any sense.
This totally makes sense, Natalia. There are a few things that are probably coming into play: First you obviously have established some positive relationships and bond there. You have a boss you like again now. This creates a sense of loyalty too. You don't want your boss to be stressed or shorthanded if you quit; you don't want your colleagues to have to take on extra work. It also sounds like there is possibly an element of feeling that you owe them because they've made accomodations (I could be wrong here, so apologies if I am). Trust also comes into play here. The company acknowledged the problem, but it sounds like it was something that went on for a while. Your psychological safety was put at risk - can you rebuild trust with them that you need in order to really thrive? You don't need to be grateful to your job if they are not grateful to you. And that graciousness does not mean you have to continue working for them; you can graciously exit too. Right now is also a great time to transition for higher pay (the labor shortages + high levels of resignation and hiring have pushed up salaries in many industries and for many roles) - and you can negotiate remote work or focus search on an opportnity with a 100% remote or remote friendly company. *All my opinions but ones you can think about*
@@JenniferBrick thank you. This makes a lot of sense and it's really helpful advice. I think it also has to do with the fact I don't like the tasks I have to execute there. It's not at all what they hired me for. I'm glad I can leave on a positive note though. Thanks. :)
Yess, on wanting to understand WHY it happened. Also, I want to sincerely thank you for making these videos on toxic job recovery, I find them very helpful.
Life is short. You make an important point that it is not productive to dwell on the why of your toxic job experience. This is not easy, but realistically we aren't going to get an answer to why this happened to us.
Respected Jennifer Madam,you are an evolved soul humane and down to earth approach.Truthful plain talks on recovery.Thank you world Angel.Very helpful of you. ☺️🙏
Workplace toxicity is not easy to get past. There are a lot of horrible employers and s**t talking coworkers who will spread nasty rumours about others. I'm been at the topic of the rumour mill and I've heard a lot of mean things said about me because someone will always be listening and that person who they're talking about will find out. It doesn't matter if one of your coworkers is different, socially awkward, or has a hard time dealing with a mental illness you do not have the right to spread rumours about that person around work. Maybe spend more time trying to understand what that person is going through in life and less time trying to make that person miserable through a series of false accusations, rumours and getting that person into trouble. Most of us coworkers are all adults and we should learn to communicate with each other instead of getting management involved, as they are a last resort along with human resources.
Jennifer..I’m a 65 year old professional who worked for a large local government employer. I’m retiring after 25 years in a thankless job. I’m ruminating about staying simply because I wanted the health insurance paid in retirement and what little salary pension I will receive. I’m struggling emotionally for having to stay as I didn’t trust that leaving one bad situation would lead to a better outcome. The workplace is inherently competitive and toxic but uncertain about being an entrepreneur. I wish i can survive this torment I’m feeling for having stayed.
It takes time. Sometimes it hits you weeks and/or months later. It could occur at even the littlest reminder. Takes time, along with internal pep talks where your mind reminds your emotions that you're free
Saturday just gone I was annoyed when someone asked me was I working that day and I said no I wasn't which was blunt but honest and said I had left as I wasn't happy there and said about getting shouted at!
I used to take accountability in my work when i made mistakes but recently i find it hard to own up to my mistake. As i'm worried of the repercussions of it from my toxic superior, am i at fault for being defensive? I started questioning if i'm the problem
Jennifer, you’re recovering from a flood? Well you should have floods more often because you look wonderful!! I’ll send a prayer up for you and send you positive energy.
Whata blessing to find your channel 2 toxic jobs back to back now im scared to start my new job. Is it just every job in healthcare is toxic. 1 day i quit and feels like I cant even get out of bed stomach a mess etc its so scary
@@ivybichon8582I was working in a care home and another member of staff shouted at me for no good reason which brought things to a head after I had been picked at for petty things like the breakfast trays and for putting an extra loo roll in the bathroom and for putting my own homemade pasta salad in the fridge without labelling it and I feel it was a good turn when I was shouted at as I saw their true face early and I walked out and came home and I don't regret it either!
Someone who is toxic to you, isn’t happy in their own life. Move on from the situation and find more money and less stress. There really is no need to wish them the worst, I also wouldn’t use the word forgiveness, just stop letting them matter in your life at all. I once had a coworker say they think I am mentally slow. It was so strange and I’ve never been told that before and I eventually quit on the spot because my boss allowed their rude behavior. ..Then one day her daughter came to the job, the girl was over 20 years old. I tried to convince myself maybe she is shy but that really wouldn’t explain why she is asking for her mommy, and I realized she seemed to have slight retardation and it was very obvious from a simple conversation. And I remembered a comment the coworker made about how because of my age I could be her daughter. I then realized none of it was my fault. The lady was projecting her issues onto me because she was stressed out, and couldn’t tell off anyone else as they are her superior. I moved on from that job and eventually stared my career. I passed by the work place not so long ago to purchase something (retail work) and saw her getting on the bus. She is too underpaid to afford even a car. And must not have any type of education to allow herself to leave and find better after a decade + there. Now, am I gonna let my blessed life be ruined by thoughts of wishing her harm? No. That is a total waste of my time and only hurts me. I don’t think it classifies as forgiveness, I’m simply choosing not to care anymore. I know she will go on to grow older in her miserable conditions and she actually didn’t get away with anything. I was blessed by the universe to move out of my comfort zone and now I am making a good living and got myself out of debt. You gotta look at it as everything happens for a reason and you chose to stay where you were because you needed to save up and prepare for the life change.
Jen , I don’t think I can forgive them . This company literally made me work with a crazy drunk lady while I was dying from anemia , and they also allowed a supervisor to harass me and screwed up my sleep schedule .
Hi Jennifer, I just want to say thank you so much for all of your videos. You are so helpful and I appreciate you and all of the great content and insights on your channel. 🙏🏼🌸💖🤗
I made a small common mistake at work yesterday. My boss texted me om my day off today. Did you make this and that mistake? If I knew I probably had fixed it but ok.. I just texted back "possibly yeah.."
@JenniferBrick Dr Ramini has a wonderful video on the benefits of not forgiving narcissists specifically, rather move on and live a life in accordance with your own values. It's an interesting, freeing perspective, outside of the usual.
Wow. I mean wow this is so learning and helpfull for my recovering proces. I was stuck for an half year at my job that had an really toxic dynamic. The blame and basic human right where constant gaslighting to me but also other employes back at you. I was done with it and maybe i am one that sees alot and not an expect in my workplace. 90% is. So i know that alot of things are not okay with the guilt and blame shaming as a standaard in the Netherlands. And its such a shame that the company i work for(i am leaving them soon) makes use of the a toxic dynamic for my co workers. Cause most of them come from 3rth world country and came from worse. Unfortnality this happens alot in internationale company’s in the Netherlands and espaccily in Amsterdam
I just watched your video about how HR is not your best friend and I would love to get some advice. I started a new job 3 months ago at a law firm. I just graduated college a month prior. This is not my first job at a law firm so I have experience. I’m having issues with the senior assistant. I work for the top lawyer at the firm. Everyone in the firm was surprised they put a fresh out of college person to be placed in a such an important role. The lawyer isn’t the problem his assistant is. I have the most work load out of all the junior assistants. Since the work load is so heavy I make a few mistakes here and there but nothing huge or detriment to the firm. My coworkers always comment on how hard I work and how I’m doing really good job for someone so new but the senior assistant doesn’t seem to notice or care. She corrects every little mistake I make any chance she gets and in the most condescending tone I’m almost in tears at work. Nobody in the firm wants to work for her. What makes it worse is everyone else loves their team and has such a great relationship with their senior assistants and lawyers. My lawyer is way to busy to care what his junior assistant does so there is no point in whining to him. I’m at my breaking point. I’m very fortunate that my husband is the main provider. He tells me every day to quit because of the toll it’s taking on my mental health. I love the actual work I do but when it’s too much and I get criticized for every little mistake it makes me hate going into work. When I told the senior assistant I’m falling behind on my work all she said was I need to make sure I’m on top of it because it will get worse as if I’m doing it on purpose. My last resort is HR. She seems nice and I plan to talk to her in a positive attitude. My suggestion is to request that I be switch to a different team. I’m just nervous because this is a bigger law firm than what I previously worked at and I have never dealt with HR. At this point if they fired me I wouldn’t be too upset. I know they are short on staff so I highly doubt they would fired me. I’m just so upset because this is my first career job and I’m already worried about having to deal with HR. Could you give me some tips about building up the nerve to speak with HR and the best approach. Like I said I want to be honest about what I’m going through without being whining. I’m so new to the company and this is all so scary.
My advice is this. Don't tough it out because it WILL get worse. Then by the time you leave you will be traumatized and it will take longer to get over it. I stayed in a place that I just believed let me tough it out. Now I have scars that will take forever to heal. And HR is not your friend.
My work is mixed with good and toxic co workers. I were on the hands of a bunch of workplace bully before. It effected my mental a lot. I am thinking of quit before. Then I am thinking why I need to quit. instead of them. I change my perspective towards of life and cut relationship and social with all of bullies and set up tight boundaries and report them. I am not enjoying seeing them. But At least, I have a peace of mind and focus on working with fantastic good coworkers.
Jennifer, Here's my situation. I am also stressed out. I needed to request a transfer. I could not handle the site anymore. Waiting for my boss to find me a new site. I had to leave the lawfirm account. Too much drama, too much politics. Putting a dead mouse inside my security blazer with an attached threatening post-it message is the straw that broke the camel's back. It is a toxic environment. I worked there for almost 2.5 years. The silent treatment became unbearable but the dead mouse and threatening note did it for me. Monday night was my last day. I am now a man without a site anxiously waiting to start working at a new location. People are really mean which is the main reason why I love to be alone. Thank God I have enough sense to save money for a rainy day. I hope to be at a site in the next few days. You say?
I walked out of a toxic place after i got shouted at and it wasnt warranted and i feel when that happened I was done a favour as i had only just started there and got to see what they were like early as if I had been there for years and that happened that would have hurt harder than what did!
Hi, I am Ben. I have 3 bachelor degrees, Economics (BA), Pol Science (BA) with Pi Sigma Alpha honor, IT-Information Technology (B.S.) with Magna Cum Laude honor. I am getting a bit older now, like over 50 and I have had never gotten any job in my fields of study. I’m doing part-time job with non-profit organization (Mental Health). I could be 10:50 even hardly able to find an odd job. I live my life day by day as a waste. I don’t know what I should do since employers might have been seeing me as nobody or useless.
When you hate, the only person who gets hurt is you, because the person you hate either doesn't know you hate them or doesn't care ... Medgar evers murdered civil rights activist ( ghosts of Mississippi film)
Also wonder if most of us just eacape the reason and give toxic people excuses. I don tsee the need to forgive or even analyse -just move forward and end contact is okay.
Okay as someone who just quit a very toxic environment with plans to sue (they are aware), can you discuss a termination of separation agreement? Should you sign? I personally did not as it can prevent them from paying out in the lawsuit. Based on my research....its interesting they asked me to sign one when I quit. I wasn't fired.
*THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE* But separation agreements typically prohibit legal action or forces arbitration which can be stipulated to be at your own expense as well as things like non-disparagements and upholding non-competes, etc. They are written by the company to protect the company. I always say that no one should sign anything from employment contracts or offers to separation agreements without speaking to a lawyer. Especially if you are already planning on or considering legal action.
@@JenniferBrick thank you, great advice from a friend 😉. I'm glad I told them I did not feel comfortable signing or discussing anything over the phone, that I wanted to continue in email. In the corporate world, I've found a big red flag is when someone never wants to discuss anything electronically preventing a papertrail. 🤨
Yeah documentation will matter here. If you haven't already found a lawyer start looking for one now. Employment lawyers will offer a service to review/advise/redline separation agreements.
@@JenniferBrick thats my problem, I haven't found one in my area! I've emailed a bunch but so many respond they don't do litigation. If they do, they don't email back. I filed an EEOC complaint so the gov is involved but once they mediate or give me the right to sue, I need to submit papers within 90 days. The company has offices across the US. Maybe I should call a lawyer in the home office state rather than my state?
I do my job nd don't involve myself in gossip. I'm just cordial don't talk too much nd reveal a lot to everyone nd I still remain in gossip. I don't go out of my way to be friends with everyone. I just go to work nd get the job done. Usually I receive compliments or promotions for my work. I dedicate myself in a healthy way to my job. But then here comes the gossips talking about me nd putting me down. I think im a top performer because I try to do my best. But wtf is wrong with people they try to bring me down nd I start questioning myself. Should I slack off to make them feel better ?
![PASULOL รามเกียรติ์ ตอนที่ 4 นนทกพบรัก [Ramakien Ep.4: Nonthok in love]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/tMUQgmZzf_A/mqdefault.jpg)
What I can say from experience is that most toxic bosses or companies do have Karma hit them, where either the toxic boss is fired or the company shuts down due to poor management. It might not happen right away, but it does in the future.
I totally agree with you! I'm a massive believer in karma. These things will catch up with them.
😅 That's what I thought. Since I couldn't take the dysfunction at work anymore and stood up for myself, I've been getting a lot of pressure from the whole toxic "family". Surprisingly, there have been a series of multiple break-ins in a row and multiple damages to the building. I've been there for years and haven't experienced anything like this. That was all in half a year. I am a little curious to see what will happen in the future.
well 3 years after I got let go.....the pandemic happened. if that isn't Karma, than I don't know what. yikes.
At a place where I got shouted at by a colleague and walked out from when I had calmed down I hoped that the place would shut down as they have a fair few rooms empty at present so it wouldn't be a surprise!
Just one toxic boss will make almost all of the company employees toxic. Like one pollutant will mess up a river.
It's been two and a half years since I am toxic job-free, I talk like I am in rehab lol. And during these years life has become better and better. But it has been a very slow process. Until now I never thought that recovering from trauma can last so much. I was naive and used to think that if one has been through a traumatic experience, they just cry two days and get over it. Until it happened to me!
Everything is getting better. But on rare occasions I still am struck by a flashback and it's nasty. I am really not exaggerating when I say it's just like those anime scenes when a character is suddenly struck by a flashback... It's hard, but don't lose hope. It takes time to heal, just like any trauma.
Thank you for sharing your story - and hope. Sending you so many good vibes!
i feel hopeful reading this.
The passing of time helps to ease the pain!
It is helpful. The justice side of me wants revenge but the reminders in your video remind me that success is the best revenge.
It truly is, Stephanie.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Great advice… thank you 😊 I left my toxic job about 2.5 months ago. I’m still recovering. After 11 years with multiple toxic coworkers and bosses (I worked for the state), I definitely have spent a fair amount of time trying to analyze why I didn’t leave sooner and why these toxic people never seem to care.
I work for a local government office and I suffered toxicity through bullying in my adult life. This has happened to me since Sept 2022. I have routine meltdowns where I’m hyperventilating crying. I’m medicated and not happy here. How did you survive for 11 years??
Being micromanaged everday while other coworkers get flexibility planning my exit strategy😡😡😡😡😡
That's very frustrating that they are singling you out.
Went through this. My toxic manager did not want me conversing with anyone except her about projects and even created paperwork to ensure it was a violation of procedure if I attempted to seek out the assistance and opinions of anyone else on our team. Never mind that everyone else was able to fly over her head and walk in and out of the top manager's office to discuss projects and ask for resources and support.
Focused on leaving my job my employer has drama mean girls vibe running through the culture was 200 employees when I started now only about 50
I don’t regret leaving the toxic workplace. I just really want to pick up the phone and blast my ex boss for the abuse he put me through.
I voice recorded mine and sent it to HR and my boss’ boss. She is being investigated now.
There was one day I was fed up and was tempted to go to the toxic job and lay into them for all they had put me through leading me on as one minute I had a job and next I hadn't!
I thought things through and never did and thought would that job have been happily ever after and no it wouldn't and I reckoned that by accident they had done me a favour getting me out of a place where I wasn't happy!
I only blame myself because my boss was really big on shaming people. I remind myself that none of that was okay.
Same, you’re right it was never o.k . I hope you are feeling better ❤
Hey Jennifer 😊 I just wanted to thank you for you content! You helped me realise that I was in a toxic work envirnoment and that my feelings were complitely vaild. I had something similar to a panick attack one morning before going to work after reading the emails received that night in which my boss was (again) bashing my performance and giving me more taks with unrealistic deadlines. I went to a doctor that day and quit my job a day later without having any plans for the future. I am happy to say I have found a new job in less than two months!! It is a better job in a great company with great boss and I am so so happy I found the currage to quit the toxic job! Thank you for your advices! I hope that everyone reading this and struggling in a toxic job will have just as much luck as me in finding the right job 😊
I'm so proud of you for recognizing what was happening, getting help and taking decisive action 💥
Life on the other side of a toxic job is so good. Sending so many positive vibes your way, and thank you for sharing your story.
Hi Jennifer 👋 - It's good to forgive , but never forget. You are the bigger person by maintaining civility with those who wronged you. They can still be a factor down the line in you landing a job. Thanks as always for the time 😃
If I bumped into my former toxic boss in the street, I'm in a place that I would stop and say hello and ask how things are going. Truly, that's who I am and I want to lift people up not take them down no matter what they have done to me. But that's just me :)
Thank you so much! I signed my freedom papers (2 week notice) today.
I quit because my bosses were harassing me ! I am thankful for leaving and I am recovering now . It was a nightmare that I am glad is over.
I needed to hear this. Just left a toxic boss/job…
I got to see how extra toxic my former employer was when I gave them my resignation. Whew! 😅😂
I'm struggling with the "not feeling guilty" part a lot. My current job was full of ups and downs (honestly more downs than ups) and they've just recently fired a very toxic boss we had and apologized to us. We're working again with a previous boss we had until we find a new replacement, and I like this boss. The thing is, I feel guilty for still hating the job and disliking the company and wanting to leave, even though they got us a raise (still doesn't pay enough compared to other places though) and even though they were very understanding of me having to work from home during the pandemic due to my OCD. I don't want to be ungrateful, but I've also had enough out of the bad times to not want to be there for the possibility of good times. I don't know if I'm making any sense.
This totally makes sense, Natalia. There are a few things that are probably coming into play: First you obviously have established some positive relationships and bond there. You have a boss you like again now. This creates a sense of loyalty too. You don't want your boss to be stressed or shorthanded if you quit; you don't want your colleagues to have to take on extra work. It also sounds like there is possibly an element of feeling that you owe them because they've made accomodations (I could be wrong here, so apologies if I am).
Trust also comes into play here. The company acknowledged the problem, but it sounds like it was something that went on for a while. Your psychological safety was put at risk - can you rebuild trust with them that you need in order to really thrive?
You don't need to be grateful to your job if they are not grateful to you. And that graciousness does not mean you have to continue working for them; you can graciously exit too.
Right now is also a great time to transition for higher pay (the labor shortages + high levels of resignation and hiring have pushed up salaries in many industries and for many roles) - and you can negotiate remote work or focus search on an opportnity with a 100% remote or remote friendly company.
*All my opinions but ones you can think about*
@@JenniferBrick thank you. This makes a lot of sense and it's really helpful advice.
I think it also has to do with the fact I don't like the tasks I have to execute there. It's not at all what they hired me for. I'm glad I can leave on a positive note though. Thanks. :)
Yess, on wanting to understand WHY it happened. Also, I want to sincerely thank you for making these videos on toxic job recovery, I find them very helpful.
Life is short. You make an important point that it is not productive to dwell on the why of your toxic job experience. This is not easy, but realistically we aren't going to get an answer to why this happened to us.
Often it's just a case of having been very unlucky!
These are some great tips! Thanks!
So glad you enjoyed!
Respected Jennifer Madam,you are an evolved soul humane and down to earth approach.Truthful plain talks on recovery.Thank you world Angel.Very helpful of you. ☺️🙏
Glad it helps!
Workplace toxicity is not easy to get past. There are a lot of horrible employers and s**t talking coworkers who will spread nasty rumours about others. I'm been at the topic of the rumour mill and I've heard a lot of mean things said about me because someone will always be listening and that person who they're talking about will find out. It doesn't matter if one of your coworkers is different, socially awkward, or has a hard time dealing with a mental illness you do not have the right to spread rumours about that person around work. Maybe spend more time trying to understand what that person is going through in life and less time trying to make that person miserable through a series of false accusations, rumours and getting that person into trouble. Most of us coworkers are all adults and we should learn to communicate with each other instead of getting management involved, as they are a last resort along with human resources.
One of my friends said you shouldn't blame yourself for things that are beyond your control!
Thank you Jennifer! I needed to hear this. I will definitely check the workshop out.
Yay I'm excited you'll be there!
Jennifer..I’m a 65 year old professional who worked for a large local government employer. I’m retiring after 25 years in a thankless job. I’m ruminating about staying simply because I wanted the health insurance paid in retirement and what little salary pension I will receive. I’m struggling emotionally for having to stay as I didn’t trust that leaving one bad situation would lead to a better outcome. The workplace is inherently competitive and toxic but uncertain about being an entrepreneur. I wish i can survive this torment I’m feeling for having stayed.
It takes time. Sometimes it hits you weeks and/or months later. It could occur at even the littlest reminder.
Takes time, along with internal pep talks where your mind reminds your emotions that you're free
So well said my friend.
Saturday just gone I was annoyed when someone asked me was I working that day and I said no I wasn't which was blunt but honest and said I had left as I wasn't happy there and said about getting shouted at!
These are good Jennifer. I'm 2.5 months out after quitting due to a crazy situation and still reeling! 🙏
I cannot even express just how much you have helped me with this video. Thank you so much❤😢
You are doing the Lord's work! Thank you for sharing, this video is a gift 🌟
Thanks for watching, I hope it helps you.
I left narc boss 5 years ago and I still fucking hate that woman I worked for
sorry no I want my toxic exboss to fail miserably and suffer.
thank you so much for this video !!!
I used to take accountability in my work when i made mistakes but recently i find it hard to own up to my mistake. As i'm worried of the repercussions of it from my toxic superior, am i at fault for being defensive? I started questioning if i'm the problem
Very helpful and great advice. Thanks for the insight/s. Cheers Jennifer!
Jenn, you are such a gem on career guidance.
Jennifer, you’re recovering from a flood? Well you should have floods more often because you look wonderful!! I’ll send a prayer up for you and send you positive energy.
Wow..very important topic & rarely discussed.
Whata blessing to find your channel 2 toxic jobs back to back now im scared to start my new job. Is it just every job in healthcare is toxic. 1 day i quit and feels like I cant even get out of bed stomach a mess etc its so scary
I hear you. I’m a healthcare worker and I had to probably leave my job because it was so toxic.
@@ivybichon8582I was working in a care home and another member of staff shouted at me for no good reason which brought things to a head after I had been picked at for petty things like the breakfast trays and for putting an extra loo roll in the bathroom and for putting my own homemade pasta salad in the fridge without labelling it and I feel it was a good turn when I was shouted at as I saw their true face early and I walked out and came home and I don't regret it either!
@@ivybichon8582I left a job in a care home as it was toxic after a colleague shouted at me when it wasn't warranted!
Someone who is toxic to you, isn’t happy in their own life. Move on from the situation and find more money and less stress. There really is no need to wish them the worst, I also wouldn’t use the word forgiveness, just stop letting them matter in your life at all. I once had a coworker say they think I am mentally slow. It was so strange and I’ve never been told that before and I eventually quit on the spot because my boss allowed their rude behavior. ..Then one day her daughter came to the job, the girl was over 20 years old. I tried to convince myself maybe she is shy but that really wouldn’t explain why she is asking for her mommy, and I realized she seemed to have slight retardation and it was very obvious from a simple conversation. And I remembered a comment the coworker made about how because of my age I could be her daughter. I then realized none of it was my fault. The lady was projecting her issues onto me because she was stressed out, and couldn’t tell off anyone else as they are her superior. I moved on from that job and eventually stared my career. I passed by the work place not so long ago to purchase something (retail work) and saw her getting on the bus. She is too underpaid to afford even a car. And must not have any type of education to allow herself to leave and find better after a decade + there.
Now, am I gonna let my blessed life be ruined by thoughts of wishing her harm? No. That is a total waste of my time and only hurts me. I don’t think it classifies as forgiveness, I’m simply choosing not to care anymore. I know she will go on to grow older in her miserable conditions and she actually didn’t get away with anything. I was blessed by the universe to move out of my comfort zone and now I am making a good living and got myself out of debt. You gotta look at it as everything happens for a reason and you chose to stay where you were because you needed to save up and prepare for the life change.
Great testimony 👏🏽x
Very helpful, thank you!
So glad you found it helpful!
Excellent channel! Great stuff really helpful
I wish it was that easy just to quit and leave... But I just can´t find another job lol
Jen , I don’t think I can forgive them . This company literally made me work with a crazy drunk lady while I was dying from anemia , and they also allowed a supervisor to harass me and screwed up my sleep schedule .
Forgiveness is a present you give to yourself and time always helps.
Hi Jennifer, I just want to say thank you so much for all of your videos. You are so helpful and I appreciate you and all of the great content and insights on your channel. 🙏🏼🌸💖🤗
Me and billy bats( casino) a corn field and my old toxic boss VERY therapeutic, bonus, my new boss couldn't get any info from my last toxic job
It's good your new boss isn't being exposed to info from your toxic job.
I made a small common mistake at work yesterday. My boss texted me om my day off today. Did you make this and that mistake? If I knew I probably had fixed it but ok.. I just texted back "possibly yeah.."
Not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to get ill.
Yes! I love this saying, it's so perfectly illustrative!
@JenniferBrick Dr Ramini has a wonderful video on the benefits of not forgiving narcissists specifically, rather move on and live a life in accordance with your own values. It's an interesting, freeing perspective, outside of the usual.
Wow. I mean wow this is so learning and helpfull for my recovering proces. I was stuck for an half year at my job that had an really toxic dynamic. The blame and basic human right where constant gaslighting to me but also other employes back at you. I was done with it and maybe i am one that sees alot and not an expect in my workplace. 90% is. So i know that alot of things are not okay with the guilt and blame shaming as a standaard in the Netherlands. And its such a shame that the company i work for(i am leaving them soon) makes use of the a toxic dynamic for my co workers. Cause most of them come from 3rth world country and came from worse. Unfortnality this happens alot in internationale company’s in the Netherlands and espaccily in Amsterdam
Great video. Living it now. BTW this also applies to relationships
Karma hit my toxic boss some 6 years later
I wish this could happen to my former boss
What exact karma happened to your toxic boss? Share please. Thank you
I still hurt about this😢
Just in time! Yaaay
Glad you're here watching today, Natalia!
I wish there was a channel about dealing with toxic parents.
I just watched your video about how HR is not your best friend and I would love to get some advice. I started a new job 3 months ago at a law firm. I just graduated college a month prior. This is not my first job at a law firm so I have experience. I’m having issues with the senior assistant. I work for the top lawyer at the firm. Everyone in the firm was surprised they put a fresh out of college person to be placed in a such an important role. The lawyer isn’t the problem his assistant is. I have the most work load out of all the junior assistants. Since the work load is so heavy I make a few mistakes here and there but nothing huge or detriment to the firm. My coworkers always comment on how hard I work and how I’m doing really good job for someone so new but the senior assistant doesn’t seem to notice or care. She corrects every little mistake I make any chance she gets and in the most condescending tone I’m almost in tears at work. Nobody in the firm wants to work for her. What makes it worse is everyone else loves their team and has such a great relationship with their senior assistants and lawyers. My lawyer is way to busy to care what his junior assistant does so there is no point in whining to him. I’m at my breaking point. I’m very fortunate that my husband is the main provider. He tells me every day to quit because of the toll it’s taking on my mental health. I love the actual work I do but when it’s too much and I get criticized for every little mistake it makes me hate going into work. When I told the senior assistant I’m falling behind on my work all she said was I need to make sure I’m on top of it because it will get worse as if I’m doing it on purpose. My last resort is HR. She seems nice and I plan to talk to her in a positive attitude. My suggestion is to request that I be switch to a different team. I’m just nervous because this is a bigger law firm than what I previously worked at and I have never dealt with HR. At this point if they fired me I wouldn’t be too upset. I know they are short on staff so I highly doubt they would fired me. I’m just so upset because this is my first career job and I’m already worried about having to deal with HR. Could you give me some tips about building up the nerve to speak with HR and the best approach. Like I said I want to be honest about what I’m going through without being whining. I’m so new to the company and this is all so scary.
My advice is this. Don't tough it out because it WILL get worse. Then by the time you leave you will be traumatized and it will take longer to get over it. I stayed in a place that I just believed let me tough it out. Now I have scars that will take forever to heal. And HR is not your friend.
My work is mixed with good and toxic co workers. I were on the hands of a bunch of workplace bully before. It effected my mental a lot. I am thinking of quit before. Then I am thinking why I need to quit. instead of them. I change my perspective towards of life and cut relationship and social with all of bullies and set up tight boundaries and report them. I am not enjoying seeing them. But At least, I have a peace of mind and focus on working with fantastic good coworkers.
Jennifer,
Here's my situation. I am also stressed out. I needed to request a transfer. I could not handle the site anymore.
Waiting for my boss to find me a new site. I had to leave the lawfirm account. Too much drama, too much politics. Putting a dead mouse inside my security blazer with an attached threatening post-it message is the straw that broke the camel's back. It is a toxic environment.
I worked there for almost 2.5 years. The silent treatment became unbearable but the dead mouse and threatening note did it for me. Monday night was my last day. I am now a man without a site anxiously waiting to start working at a new location.
People are really mean which is the main reason why I love to be alone. Thank God I have enough sense to save money for a rainy day. I hope to be at a site in the next few days.
You say?
I walked out of a toxic place after i got shouted at and it wasnt warranted and i feel when that happened I was done a favour as i had only just started there and got to see what they were like early as if I had been there for years and that happened that would have hurt harder than what did!
Hi, I am Ben.
I have 3 bachelor degrees, Economics (BA), Pol Science (BA) with Pi Sigma Alpha honor, IT-Information Technology (B.S.) with Magna Cum Laude honor. I am getting a bit older now, like over 50 and I have had never gotten any job in my fields of study. I’m doing part-time job with non-profit organization (Mental Health). I could be 10:50 even hardly able to find an odd job. I live my life day by day as a waste. I don’t know what I should do since employers might have been seeing me as nobody or useless.
When you hate, the only person who gets hurt is you, because the person you hate either doesn't know you hate them or doesn't care ... Medgar evers murdered civil rights activist ( ghosts of Mississippi film)
FACTS!!!
Also wonder if most of us just eacape the reason and give toxic people excuses. I don tsee the need to forgive or even analyse -just move forward and end contact is okay.
Okay as someone who just quit a very toxic environment with plans to sue (they are aware), can you discuss a termination of separation agreement? Should you sign? I personally did not as it can prevent them from paying out in the lawsuit. Based on my research....its interesting they asked me to sign one when I quit. I wasn't fired.
*THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE* But separation agreements typically prohibit legal action or forces arbitration which can be stipulated to be at your own expense as well as things like non-disparagements and upholding non-competes, etc. They are written by the company to protect the company. I always say that no one should sign anything from employment contracts or offers to separation agreements without speaking to a lawyer. Especially if you are already planning on or considering legal action.
@@JenniferBrick thank you, great advice from a friend 😉. I'm glad I told them I did not feel comfortable signing or discussing anything over the phone, that I wanted to continue in email. In the corporate world, I've found a big red flag is when someone never wants to discuss anything electronically preventing a papertrail. 🤨
Yeah documentation will matter here. If you haven't already found a lawyer start looking for one now. Employment lawyers will offer a service to review/advise/redline separation agreements.
@@JenniferBrick thats my problem, I haven't found one in my area! I've emailed a bunch but so many respond they don't do litigation. If they do, they don't email back. I filed an EEOC complaint so the gov is involved but once they mediate or give me the right to sue, I need to submit papers within 90 days. The company has offices across the US. Maybe I should call a lawyer in the home office state rather than my state?
I do my job nd don't involve myself in gossip. I'm just cordial don't talk too much nd reveal a lot to everyone nd I still remain in gossip. I don't go out of my way to be friends with everyone. I just go to work nd get the job done. Usually I receive compliments or promotions for my work. I dedicate myself in a healthy way to my job. But then here comes the gossips talking about me nd putting me down. I think im a top performer because I try to do my best. But wtf is wrong with people they try to bring me down nd I start questioning myself. Should I slack off to make them feel better ?
First!
Yay! Thanks for hanging with me today, Nathan!