How To Not Take Things Personally
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 25 มิ.ย. 2024
- It’s easy to take things personally at work. The unfair criticism, difficult coworkers, insecure boss or the embarrassing project failure, is it possible to stop caring what people think!? It is, and in this video I’m diving in to how to stop taking things personally, sharing some perspective shifts for your work life boundaries, and helping you see how it’s not personal, and in fact, it’s not even about you most of the time. If you are ready to learn how to not take things personally you are in the right place is what I’m saying!
Chapters
0:00 What we’re talking about today (and why you NEED to watch)
0:45 You are NOT your job
3:12 You are not what happens to you (or the mistakes at work you make)
5:03 How to handle feedback at work
8:49 Expand your Self-Awareness
13:16 Build Confidence at Work
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• Dealing with Toxic Wor...
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#career #careeradvice #careerbestie - แนวปฏิบัติและการใช้ชีวิต
I was a cleaner myself years ago in banks and offices and many a time had people looking down their noses thinking they were better than me. I always had the view that I played just as an important role as they did in the company as if it wasn't for me they wouldn't be able to work in a clean and tidy environment and given some of the mess they left in their wake the office wouldn't be able to operate. No-one should feel that they're any less important just because of the position they hold.
Totally agree! And as we've learned the last year, the most crucial roles we cannot live without are ones people have not had enough respect. No one is better than anyone else, and we all need each other 💜
Which country are you talking about, if you can let me know?
Absolute truth, in my position I'm the maintenance guy so the higher ups look down but it's ok because they have more write ups than most my record at work is spotless
@@robertwhite1028 dignity of labour? Is it just something on paper? Sorry not introduced to western work culture yet.
Imagine where we would be without people like you keeping things clean. It’s more than keeping areas clean, you keep things sanitary and prevent the spread of disease. Thank you for all you do. We should never underestimate the importance of a cleaning staff - especially in the middle of a pandemic!
I love the “you are not your job” because too many people validate themselves through work. They come to work looking for friends and validation. It’s a job, an exchange of pay for a service provided. Nothing more or less. I don’t go to be “appreciated” I get that externally. It’s nice but I come for that paycheck! Great topic Jennifer!
It's easy to superficially contrive identity, and even power, through a job title. But that's a transient piece of you are.
Thanks for sharing your thought Gi Gi 💜
#1 sounds like the philosophy of Fight Club. This is very difficult for men to accept and takes a lot of strength and is a major challenge for most men in the US. Homework for men here: read Fight Club then see the movie.
🤜🏽🤛🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👌🏽👌🏽👊🏽👊🏽👊🏽 right in point 👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽❤❤❤
I struggle with this so much because I don’t have any friends in my personal life and with my mental health in general.
@@seshlauren I am so sorry to hear that. Try to get into some activities that you like and not rely on the job for your friendship.
I don't take it personally until it's made personal. Agree with your points wholeheartedly but if "criticism" ever crosses the line to harassment or bullying, I'm out. Zero tolerance policy.
Harassment and bullying are totally different from constructive criticism and should not be tolerated.
Yes alot of it be harrassment and bullying,so know the difference and get out of there if u have to.
Yes Ma,am x
Cristina agreed 100%
Thank you. I needed to hear this. Right here. Right now.
Yep. I made that mistake. Ran in there with high hopes, high expectations and thinking I'd have all these great new friends. Boy was I WRONG. I went to my boss as a friend and spilled my life to her. Bad bad decision she just used all my insecurities to deny me another job within the department. NOW I clock in clock out on time, eat dinner by myself, do not talk to anyone about any aspect of my personal life, smile and nod and move on and go home. Thanks for the great content. 👍
P.S. I AM NOT MY JOB
This has helped me out so much today. I’ve been crying all morning over a stupid work email. But now I know I am not my job.
Thank you!!
Ohhh Pam I'm sending you a virtual hug. You're above this and I know it's hard but your situation isn't forever.
Where were you since the last five years??? You should promote this content and this channel...This is very useful for some people...
I've been here for the last two years at least 😃 TH-cam is figuring out who needs my videos. Glad you found my channel, I look forward to hanging with you here.
Thank you for this! I started to come to this realization after quitting two toxic companies in a row and realizing I allowed both of them to totally take over my life and mental space, even when I wasn't at the office, because I had not cultivated a life outside of work. My current company is a much healthier and respectful place for me but I still have a lot of work to do in truly internalizing that "I am not my job" because my manager is a bit of a micromanager and I get upset when I spend hours putting my best efforts into something only for him to make changes in how I worded something, even once changing the colors in a chart! It's hard because I take a lot of pride and ownership in my work, but I think I need to just separate my ego from my work and stop defining my self-worth by it.
Well said.
I had to tell my last employer that I do take it personally because it's my life. You are right though life is more than a job.
Exactly!
This is so timely, I am a newbie in my new work place and feel so low and left out, seems like I am not valued. Thank you so much, this really helps.
I FEEL LIKE THAT TOO MAJORITY OF THE TIME
Same here 😢
Your videos helped me quit my job this week! Or more at least helped curb some of the anxiety and justify my feelings. Thank you!! I AM NOT MY JOB!
This came at a perfect time for me too! Currently going through a difficult time at work as I am having to learn how to be apart of leadership at my workplace. It isn't easy but I need to remember I am not my job!
The step up to leadership is a big one! If you haven't already, check out Makeda Andrew's channel, she posts awesome advice for new leaders.
Thanks a lot for the video. One thing I learnt is that we are all not perfect and that's how not to take things personally. We are all learning and growing.
ive not let my jobs define me.
i have been fired multiple times. ive failed at my profession, but ive not failed as a man.
The only failure is in not trying to grow and be a better human. Love how you dust yourself off and try again ✨
Brilliant attitude. Best of luck in the future 😊
This reminds me of a quote I heard that said "Sometimes, in trying to strengthen your weaknesses, you weaken your strengths."
I've started to take this view, especially as I've realized my workplace is toxic. But in my field, it's natural for companies to try and pick people who are overly identified with their job so I think this is a problem. You meet a lot of people who think one task not going well makes them a loser and that's really not a healthy mindset and it's difficult on the people who work with people who think like that.
I am not my job, but I am my vocation. I reached this point after 11 years of teaching (sum of both Sunday School and secular ed).
It's part of who you are, not who you are 💜
If you changed vocations you would still be you.
This was so helpful from start to finish! It’s so easy for me to allow situations at work or the toxic people at work to define my self worth. It’s something I’m working very hard on changing. I work in the medical field and am told constantly by my patients that I’m very good at my job. I’m caring, I’m patient, I’m a good listener, I enjoy my work, etc. 10 minutes later a coworker will make a snide comment and I can feel myself sinking inside and feeling unworthy and much less confident in myself. I KNOW I’m great at my job and I KNOW I am NOT my job, yet I still let these jabs get to me. Your channel is really helping me to reset myself in a way I’ve never been able to do before. Keep putting these great videos out and I will keep watching them (and often re-watching them :) ) until I have these strategies down and the right mindset to tackle whatever comes my way on the job.....and in life. :)
Being a highly sensitive Neurodivergent man here, this is definitely important to learn.
You are 100% right. I was going through a very rough patch at my job and was getting chewed out a bit by my managers for making mistakes, and one day i broke down, and was upset, but i picked myself up.
It was the first time i broke down in 10 years, but i didnt let it stop me from fulfilling my duties. Sometimes you just have to not care so much about things, and not take it personally. Its work, not my entire life, i dont talk to these people outside of the office, so it doesnt matter much.
I am not my job !!! I just left my work to go on mat leave and it is super difficult. I helped hire too well for my temporary replacement. My boss pretty much ignored me for this last week and was only communicating with my replacement. I feel so unseen ,unappreciated and replaceable . I watched myself being replaced. 😢I been crying over it too.
4:40 -- great. Thank you. Also, looking to other people for validation is a terrible idea. It took me way too long to learn that lesson.
I loved the bit on knowing yourself. Looking in the mirror constantly is SO important. It keeps pride in check too.
Love all your videos it has helped me survive this petty government job I recently started working. I’ve been happy and miserable here but with these videos playing in my head while at work helps tremendously. Thank you for sharing your story and helping others!
-Blessings 🙏🏿
I'm glad I get to be here for you 💜
I am not my job! And work colleagues are not my family! My job is where I go to collect my salary and go home.x
Hey lady. Thanks for these videos. Going through difficult times at my workplace right now that have been hard for me not to take to heart. Your videos have helped calm me down and talk some sense into me lol. Appreciate you.
How someone treats me at work does not define who I am
Fantastic video again Jennifer! Acknowledging that you can’t be strong in all areas and knowing that you wouldn’t have your strengths without your weaknesses. That’s an important reminder. 🔥
I know a lot of your content is aimed at helping women succeed in male dominated industries, but I just want to thank you. A lot of your videos have been a godsend and I’ve been putting those things into practice, and slowly I’m noticing a change. I’ve always felt that being a gay man, has made me feel like I have to work twice as hard as my other colleagues, just to feel like I belong.
So overall, thank you so much!!! 🙂
In my head, I make these videos for anyone who isn't a Chad. Any deviation from the antiquated mid-century archetypes are points of inequity, discrimination, and to put it bluntly bullshit. I'm glad I'm videos help you 💜
Thanks for this content. It comes at a right time, I was passed over a 2nd potential promotion. Took it hard. So now, I'm planning to enjoy my life and work more. Have more fun and not take it or myself seriously. I will explore my life and myself more😊
THANK YOU. The expand your self-awareness section is perfection. So helpful.
Jennifer, thank you sincerely for your help via all this great advice! So many people need to hear this stuff as a wake up. Always very pleasant to listen to as well… You rock!
I think this is the base of the post-retirement identity crisis. Ultimately the person has become his/her job & fails to detach. Same time people who worked in the same organization for long tenure also tend to undergo identity crisis once they leave or forced to leave that place. I knew a person who worked in the same company like 18 years & ultimately he had leave to due to a lay off. After leaving, he became severely depressed and had to undergo treatments for many months. For 18 years he has been nothing but the identity he built along with his job. It all drill down to what Brian Dyson said. Occupation is made of rubber & life is made of glass. Never drop life!!!
Usually most feed backs are matters of opinion. We know ourselves better . God knows us best. Every feedback depends on whoever is making it. Is it malicious or made out of open mindedness . Feedbacks can be right or wrong. There is usually no Clear cut answers about them . We should just ignore every inaccuracy and keep our heads high and keep our hearts clear . Usually smart and confident people can get contrary opinions
I been on a new job search since January. I came across your videos and they are really helpful. I just finished my 3rd interview with a new company last week. 👏🏼 thanks for the guidance.
Best wishes to you!
Good luck in the next interview round, Kristi! Let me know how it goes!
Currently on vid 4 of your entire collection. Your content is unbelievably inspiring and your natural confidence is contagious. I'm becoming a better person and I have you in part to thank for that
Wow, thanks for choosing to spend time with me!
I’m going to save this video and play it over and over again!!! This advice came at just the right time! THANK YOU💖💖💖
So glad it was here for you ✨
exactly what I needed, thank you so much. I have 1 weakness which is hard to fix at job, but this video helped me to accept it.
Love the content! I am learning sooooo much about working at a big company. Thanks 😊
I am Certainly NOT my job ! Jennifer you say it so clearly wish I had learn this years ago. Been on.toi many toxic workplace that now thinking of a career change.
I never knew I need to watch this video after quitting a toxic contract job. Thank you.
Thank you. I'm learning
Thank you for this, So true!
There's a crude expression that if you take s#%t to ❤ you'll end up with a heart full of s#%t
Thank you so much for this video 😊, I’m not my work!! I always let other’s opinions bother me, and believed that maybe not that a good worker 😞, I have to work in self confidence.
Confidence will transform your career! You're here investing effort, you are capable of so much my friend!
I so needed that today. Thank you!
Posted it for you my friend!
Thanks 🙏 a lot, this is really helpful. Specially the point of self awareness.
I am not my TOXIC job!!!
You are so much more than your toxic job, my friend!
Emotions suck.
I like the last tip. Self confidence and awareness is key. I am not my job . keep it up
I really love your philosophy. I couldn't help subscribing. Keep it up !
You are a very wise women. This is all so true! Keep up the great work! Excellent video! 👍
Real talk,Jennifer you're one of the best career advice leaders' I know. Your Fantastic! Enjoy your day! 🐕 Dogs for life!
Aww thanks, friend!
Love your Show so much!
Feed back is best given with verbal reward of what is has been great... then the constructive feedback with improvement. Best of all Empathy! Your feedback will be more receptive.
Also... The Toxic Coworker...
Once you discover the "Covert Narcissist"...DO NOT seek their advice. Swim, Run away... set your boundaries.
I AM NOT MY JOB.....
Definitely useful and informative. Thanks for this.
So glad you found it useful 😃
Even though I work at a hospital (a psychiatric hospital with other therapists), this is definitely a toxic workplace. So much gossip, favoritism, talking behind your back, just toxic people. Idk how they became therapists honestly. I've only been at the job less than 3 months, I thought this was my dream job but I already want to leave. It's not the nature of my work or my patients, that I can't stand, I love my work & I love helping people who have mental illness. I guess our occupations have nothing to do with personality & maturity. I am not my job!
One of the aspects of hegemonic theory (in political science) is the aspect(s) which make a state/empire/country the strongest is also a major weakness. I have applied this maxim towards both my personal and professional life, and it has been extremely helpful. By realizing my strengths are my strengths, but they can also be a major liability, it enables me to start building guardrails and be proactive.
That was really deep! Thank you!
You are so welcome, Jessica!
Great pep talk. Bears reminding 🌸😊🙏
Thank you for sharing valuable information
*I am not my job* and my job title will not define me!
Yasss 🙌🙌🙌
yes it took me a while to realize it. had i known earlier, i would have left much earlier. thankfully it didn't happen so late in life. you want a promotion find it in the market. and even if you like the company, leave and come back a few years later for a pay you want.
I am not my job 😄 so refreshing to say!!
You have help me so much!
Yay!!
Always go our own way
This is awesome advice!
Love It !!! I am not my job !! Amen
I love herrrrr!
I am not my job! Thanks for this video. It's easier said than done, though...
You have the best videos. 🔥
Thank you 🥰
I am not my job. I am so much more than what I do for money. If I didn't have to earn money to live, I would 100% not be there.
Great content!
Your videos rock! All of them!
Aww thanks so much for your kind words. I really hope you find value in them ✨
@@JenniferBrick I have learned so much from them especially about work colleagues not being one's friends. Thank you so much!
Thank you for this channel
It's an honor to get to put info out there and hang with awesome people here.
Binge watching your channel ❣️
OMG Thank you for this video ! I am not my job !!
🙌🙌🙌
2:00 close colleague of mine turned their job into my identity. Then got let go. It took them months to rebound psychologically. They were very devastated
I am honest with others and myself- I don't do spite well, and I don't like anyone thinking they are better than me. It's NOT OK!
New subscriber here. Love it!
Awesome 👌
I work with people who have worked at the same place for 20+ years and have nothing else going on in their lives. No partner, no kids, no close friends outside of work. It's weird and sad
Nice talk Madam. 🙏
This video came at the perfect time! Thank you! I am not my job!
Glad it found you at the right time ✨
I just list my job die to budget. I'm amgey, mad, scared, and worried i wont find something else. I take everything personally, and i try not to. It's so hard! My feelings get hurt, and then i fight back and blow up.
I am not my work!
🙌🙌🙌
I’ve been at my job for almost 2 years and during the pandemic I worked my butt off alone in the office while everyone was at home. A new coworker of mine has been here for 4 months and got a opportunity in this new position. I’m still upset about it. I know so much more than her and done so much to train her and problem solve (which I did get recognized for) so why couldn’t I get that position? It makes me feel terrible. I get no extra work or opportunities even though I work so hard compared to everyone else that does the bare minimum. It’s hard for me to not take this home and makes my depression/anxiety so much worse. Especially when my boss doesn’t even acknowledge me compared to everyone else. So why even try anymore :/
I feel you! Been there and done that.
My guess is they didn’t want to give you the pay raise when they could put someone new in the position for a much lower salary.
I feel ya. I went through similar circumstances as you. Now I clock in and clock out, do not take on any extra work, do not volunteer for new chores and I sit by myself now for dinner and keep all my personal life out of work. Wow what a difference it makes. I also suffer from anxiety/depression. Be aware of how much effort you put in because it will never pay off in the long run. Best wishes
@@breej3055 so true! I overthink everything. One year later I’m still in the same position practically and working myself so much and getting nowhere. But I’m going back to school now so that’s my only hope
I am not my job and I do not take things personally at work
YOU DESERVE A MILLION VIEWERS
AND SUBSCRIBERS
That's my goal for next year 💜
The feedback is too shallow sometimes. Almost all nurses do the same task I do. The only difference is my color.
I am not my job! ❤️❤️❤️
Love your channel.
One quick question.
How do you handle being passed over for promotions when you are too indispensable in your current job?
I am in a bit of a niche job. I worked my way up the ranks and decided to plateau at my current job for family reasons.
A number of years later, the technology and software has changed and I adapted and learned right along with it.
I would like to advance my career but the younger staff are more suited for the managerial role as they have a better skill set for it. Where as I have the knowledge and skill set for my role.
This is an internal shift, why do you think they are more suitable?
@@JenniferBrick they are more suited as they have more supervisory experience. They have more experience dealing with clients and subordinates. Along with knowledge of the SOPs, paperwork and being part of meetings.
I am not my job. I work hard and im one of the most productive employee in my department. Don’t feel like I’m valued and plan on slightly slowing down
It's very hard when someone is being a workplace bully and the supervisor does jack about it.
I am not my job. 👏🏽
I'm a Johnson Wales University student and I'm working at a summer job that has something to do with my major but it's hard working around the supervisors because their shrill and I don't know how to say I think I need to move on.
Maybe I'm taking this too personally, or maybe I'm right. My boss was upset I had signed up for a one-person shift. I'll admit I'm kind of a slow learner and do much better with a helping hand and guide, but come on, that's no excuse for being insensitive. One of our student leader's responsibilities is organizing who works which shifts on the schedule, and my boss scolded him for not noticing I had signed up for a one-person shift. When she asked him if she thought I could do the shift, I answered for him with a firm "yes," because I felt belittled by her. She said she didn't think so, was all "I've told you not to sign up for shifts by yourself, I've been very clear about that, I don't know how much clearer I can get for you to listen" (something like, that, so I'm not perfectly quoting her), and she told me I need someone there to give me instructions and guide me. I regretfully didn't stand up for myself, but you know...she intimidates me when she's in a bad mood. Is what she said considered an insult, as opposed to constructive criticism?
Asking the question what do you do assume everybody is employed. And what if you are unemployed then what do you say
*0:48* _"You are not your job."_ Great. Inspiring.
*3:13* *_"You are not your actions."_* Um, what? No, we are absolutely the sum of our actions.
Maybe she could have said "we aren't wholly defined by our actions". In the sense that I am part "other's actions", and part "my actions" (other's actions created me in the place, family, point of history that I'm in, and others actions impact me. And then I have personal responsibility for the actions I choose too. Which can affect other people, who then can affect me
What you do is your reputation.
Do you think it’s rather toxic, when a recruiter phones up and says your too overqualified for the job role? They said, they might interview me because they can’t find suitable staff.
🦄
I am NOT my job!!!!
You are so much more Isabel!
I had my team leader explain to me why he didn't give me a promotion while the CEO mentioned me as the best in the whole department. I didn't get promoted, a creep who would text girls on slack asking them if they would step on him if he was a bug got that promotion even though he was one of the worst agents in our team. I didn't even ask for the damn promotion, so my TL was explaining it without me asking. I'm just frustrated, I do amazing job and they're overlooking me like I'm just a regular worker with no extra effort. I made the highest bonus score last month, the dude didn't. What am I doing wrong? Why would someone tell me that " I have to show more effort" while I actually did the best in the whole damn department...
Because it's all a popularity game.
This happened to me too, worked my ass off, got the highest award, mentioned by CEO and the customer -all for nothing. Privilege white guy got the promotion. I got laid off six months later. Then they wonder why we are all f’ed up.
@@miles-lu9mj Quit the "privileged White guy" claptrap. I'm White and get treated just like you described.
I am not my job ❤🔥👏
I am not my job. I am me for me