TOXIC MANAGER | 9 Toxic Boss Signs to Look Out For
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 22 พ.ค. 2024
- Ready to get over your toxic job? Start with my new guidebook, Get Over Your Toxic Job, now on sale!
🔗 capdeca.teachable.com/p/toxic...
Toxic Manager // Do you have a toxic boss? Last year I posted a video about toxic work environment and signs of a toxic workplace, and one of the most common things to come up in the comments was having a toxic managers in the workplace - and how demoralized at work those bad bosses make people feel. In my opinion nothing makes a toxic work culture faster than a bad manager who has (and enables) toxic workplace behaviors. In this video we’ll dive into the toxic boss signs so you know if you’re dealing with a toxic manager who is willl create a toxic workplace, or just a bad boss. Knowing the signs can help you when you’re dealing with toxic managers and make the toxic boss behavior obvious.
************************
Uncover your fastest career growth track: download my free UAQ Starter Kit:
UAQStarterKit.com
PREORDER MY BOOK! Career Glow Up comes out January 10, 2023
careerglowupbook.com
Want to work with me? My current courses & programs:
UAQ Expansion Pack bit.ly/3OUAaKn
Career Confidence Crash Course bit.ly/3JmgvSt
Career Glow Up bit.ly/3QvCw3F
Toxic Job Detox bit.ly/3ORs0ST
Set Up to Standout on LinkedIn bit.ly/3BIXYh4
Remarkable Resume bit.ly/3bmRM3I
New workshops & programs are always coming, keep an eye for more!
************************
Got a Question? Join my Ask Me Anything (AMA) Wednesdays on Insta
/ ccjenniferbrick
Want daily career glow up content?
TikTok / jenniferbrick
LinkedIn: / jenniferbrick
Facebook: / ccjenniferbrick
Twitter: / jennifer_brick
Want to work with me? Find out how:
capdecasolutions.com
For business and partnership inquiries ONLY (no solicitation):
Email info@capdecasolutions.com
For book recommendations, WFH must haves, filming setup & more:
www.amazon.com/shop/jenniferb...
************************
More videos to help you you navigate toxic workplaces, toxic bosses and toxic coworkers:
TOXIC WORK ENVIRONMENT: 14 Signs Your Workplace is Toxic (and How to Cope)
• TOXIC WORK ENVIRONMENT...
HOW TO WORK WITH A NARCISSISTIC BOSS (Dealing with a Narcissistic Boss)
th-cam.com/video/_CvHmToTk4Yh/w-d-xo.htmlttps://y...
CORPORATE PSYCHOPATHS | Are you working with a psychopath?
• CORPORATE PSYCHOPATHS ...
MY BOSS IS A MICROMANAGER | How to deal with micromanagers
• MY BOSS IS A MICROMANA...
How to Work with People You Don’t Like
• How to Deal with Peopl...
*************************
Note this description contains affiliate links that allow you to find the items mentioned in this video and support the channel at no cost to you. While this channel may earn minimal sums when the viewer uses the links, the viewer is in NO WAY obligated to use these links. Thank you for your support!
*************************
Intro & outro music by bensound.com
#smashtheceiling #careerexpert #careeradvice #careerbestie
![คบซ้อน - วงL.กฮ. [ Official MV ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/5MtesqJ0I1c/mqdefault.jpg)
How many toxic boss signs had you nodding your head?
All of them 😆
Yes
Almost every sign
All of them.
Well..... She's never asked me to do anything illegal. Fits the bill for all others though!
1- micromanagement
2- all feedback is critical / no acknowledgment of good work
3- undermine you
4- don’t acknowledge accomplishments
5- create obstacles for you
6- speak poorly about other people
7- unethical behaviors
8- no accountability
9- they are an a$$hole
10- you end up doing their work and taking on their responsibilities,
11- you face customer backlash for their decision making (when previously the way you did it all parties involved were happy and it was more productive)
Reads 1-9: "huh, my boss doesn't do that whew...."
See 10 and 11: "AW FUCK!"
spent 20 yrs with one never got better got worst with age
@@buda3d2007 Part of being a boss/manager is figuring out who on your team can be delegated some of your tasks. It can be part of using their skills to make the workplace run better (just because you run the team doesn't mean that there aren't people under you who couldn't do parts of your job better than you but they lack the ability or experience to run the team themselves), training them up for a promotion, etc, etc, etc. Even though I'm a manager I have managers above me who all give me tasks to do. I don't have enough time to do them so I delegate some of the "lesser" ones to people on my team who have shown that they have the skills to do it, who are looking for more responsibilities (some people just want to do their job and that's fine but others want extra to do and that's great) or I think may one day want to take on a promotion.
All of these I see it! Omg! It's time to go .thank you I found the answer.
Micromanagement = Boss doesn't know what their doing.
LOVE IT.
Good luck to everyone who needs another job.
Thanks
❤
no problems.
💕
There's no such thing as good luck, for me.
I'm stuck in HELL.
I think bosses who constantly complain and never praise are toxic
My previous boss was someone who expected 150% on every task, because she worked on the pier, looking at shipping containers while eight months pregnant, halted the closing of a yard just to make sure her truck arrives into the port and worked by day, then watched over her newborn son who was in critical condition. She is in her 60s now and certainly has an over-achiever mood on her.
I'm not sure if that was supposed to motivate us or just her flexing about her work ethic, which is not for everyone because everyone is unique. Also she has an air of making it feel like we should be grateful she even hired us, that we are always paid on time (bish, that's your responsibility as a manager, it is non-negotiable. Don't act like handing out salaries on time is a privilege) and then screams and demeans at us for every minor music we make,
I’m in this condition now
Most bosses ain't even qualified for the position the only reason they get the boss position is because their dad is the main owner of the company
@@Mageman17 literally my job now it sucks
My boss does that to me when I'm the hardest worker there but everyone else gets credit and not me
Pretty much sums up my previous boss, specially the lack of accountability. Something I'd like to add:
- They don't provide clear goals, communicate properly or even hide information that will help you do your job.
- They try to isolate you from others.
- Speak in an intimidating, sarcastic or mocking tone - basically act like a bully.
They just have a paper to show qualifications but not really qualified
Not giving clear goals is huge 1 then when you seem to get it figured it out & your achieving goals they change the goal post to a completely different job function etc. Communication seems to be in short supply & treated almost like any communication is top secret & can only be shared with a few & it's the simplest of communications that would help productivity & effeciency
@@fatimaamier8262so true!
Thank you thank you. The lack of communication of being clear their instructions and BLAME YOU for not understanding. It’s so frustrating
Yep, toxic bosses created toxic employees. If you come into a job with positivity and lots of energy and those two things are eroded over time ... GTFO. You only live once. You are responsible for your own health and well-being.
If your boss is someone around 40 year's old and still single there's a big chance he/she is miserable and will take it out at in the workplace
@@mcali-reviews5585 I'm 49, single and never married. Not all folks in that "category" are miserable and treat others like crap to feel better about themselves. Just sayin'.
@@deanrobbins8102 yeah I know what's why I said there's a big chance I didn't mention *all* me too I am older single no kid's and not miserable
i try to warn all t/ new employees at t/ place where i live to get out while they're still innocent and pure LOL. But in time eventually, many "turn" toXic.
Through no fault of their own, if t/ roots of t/ tree is bad then t/ pommes...
Facts.
Favoritism is also a sign. If they single out their "friends" (suck ups) by always giving them the easy tasks while making sure they don't have any of the hard ones.
I left a job at a beautiful, wonderful company due to my toxic boss. When the pandemic hit, I said no more. Life is too short. I couldn't wait to leave. I am in a much better, more positive situation now.
Did you just quit or at least put a 2 week notice😂?
Congrats. I can’t wait to be in your position soon.
Well I am facing the same 😕😕
@@mcali-reviews5585 I gave 1.5 months notice.
@@divyajoshi7426 😔
The double combo is when a toxic coworker is actively trying to be your toxic manager
I know a well liked and respected colleagues who knows how to play the manager and supervisor to get them to go easy on other laborers and have me end up doing the bulk of the work.
Yeah. Been there!😔
Yikes! Sounds like a horror movie 😱
You have to expose them to get them to stop it.
LMFAO this is 100% my situation
Having too many people telling you what to do is also a big time problem!!!!!!!
100% Too many cooks in the kitchen causes so many problems.
Mcdonalds
Yep too many chiefs. No Indians. I'm like fk off , control freaks
Inability to manage various power centres... Very dangerous.
Or when every single supervisor says to you “she’s our boss too we have to do what she tells us” and they don’t even care to take your side and just gang up on you.
I'm definitely in a toxic environment. My boss has broke me down so much I'm scared to try anywhere else because I dont feel like I'm good enough for any other company. My boss has made me so scared about any decision I make that its effecting my everyday life. Just feeling stupid and not capable of being good at anything. Anxiety through the roof.
I feel this Jeremy, the same thing happened to me when I had a toxic boss. Watch my confidence boosters video it's going to get you some instance fixes.
But I want you to do more than that. This is going to be hard at first, but it will get easier:
At the end of everyday write down three things you did that were awesome. They don't need to be earth shattering, but find and focus on those things everyday. Do this for at least two weeks, you'll start to notice a difference.
Jeremy, I can defiantly relate. I have always been intelligent and I work extremely hard. I am in the most dysfunctional, unhealthy relationship. The only way I can describe how I got here is that he's verbally beat me down so bad these last five years. Now I am too the point where I have been written up for so many petty things that I look like a terrible employee. It will be almost impossible for me to get a job anywhere else in my company and I am four years from retirement. I can't afford to retire but technically I could and go elsewhere.
@@AkSonya1010 oh my gosh I'm so sorry about that. That sounds terrible to work for a place like that it just keeps beating you down to the point of no return it feels like. I'm so sorry you're going through that as well. I guess we just have to keep our head up and keep pushing through and make changes in life. I finally quit working for my insanely toxic boss and started working somewhere else that is super fast pace stressful but at least the toxicity isn't there killing you slowly. I hope for the best for your future
@@AkSonya1010 I feel for you. I'm in the same situation. I have about 4 years until retirement. I'm at a breaking point. I have to actively find something else. I had enough.
@@rachelm2041 I hired someone to help me write a response to my annual review. One of two things will happen, HR recognizes that I have a case and they make him back off or my life gets worse and I move on. Either way this will hopefully be over soon.
I work as a High School teacher. I often tell our younger students that in the future, should they end up managers themselves, always treat staff well. Otherwise, all the good staff will leave, and you'll be left with the idiots.
Lmaooo! So true 😂
@@paintriarchdave7977 Some people treat their mothers like shit too.
Agreed. If anything, being mis-treated should teach us all how to be kind to others. I will NEVER EVER treat others the way I have been treated. It's my faith in God and the power of prayer that gives me the daily strength that I need.
@@soundrasimpson7885 definitely. An important habit to maintain throughout life.
Like the saying goes "people don't quit their jobs, they quit their managers." That was certainly true for me. Mine was infamous
What I don't understand is why i've had so many toxic managers/bosses, yet nobody anywhere ever seems to acknowledge that they exist, and will usually think that I must have been the problem...........
Ever notice back in school that the bully oftentimes is defended and the victim is silenced and made to transfer schools cuz the entire faculty sided w/ the bully? Same thing in corporate and just life in general.
Literally going through this. I left one job to find myself with another bad manager. My family and friends think I might be the problem😭
@@StrangerInDurban Yeah, I eventually found a job where I haven't got this shit going on, been there nearly 2 years, and the people who used to behave like I was the problem, have suddenly gone very quiet.
@@StrangerInDurbansame. I was wondering this about myself but became convinced it’s that people are promoted to management positions without any real leadership training. So they do whatever tactics that helps them maintain control.
If you EVER see a future candidate boss say bad things or chew out their teammates on your interview, DONT take the job.
Please listen and watch for the RED flags or listen to your spirit...it will never lead you wrong!
Thank you
I've learned this lesson.
Unfortunately, most of the time you see these behaviours after you joined the company.
Don't ever put up with a boss who does any of these things. Know YOUR value and realize they need you more than you need them. When you quit, don't feel guilty about it
You’re right. I dropped a friend who suggested I suck it up and tolerate the abuse.
Thank you. Can’t deal with a boss who never gives compliments and just sees the wrong. Heck we even have to invent faults just so he could have something on his report
@@sociallysober8217ol I literally almost got into a fist fight with my boss at Lowe's only a month ago.
They don't need you, you are replaceable.
@@edwinlegatie2459I’m their top worker, mostly because I’m the only one in the damn department, but yeah _tHeY dOn’T nEeD mE_
Another sign of a toxic boss would be poor communication skills. Lack of providing any feedback positive or negative. Not having regular 1-on-1's with employees. Withholding information from the Management/Executive level and not communicating it down to employees. Absent from important meetings or taking lots of vacation time off.
Oh another one, is inability to make a decision. Projects or work being on hold for days/weeks/months until that leader finally makes up their mind.
Those are good adds! And the last one is frustrating (I've been there too).
thats my last boss with whom i was honest about being laid off. he would quickly give me an assignment and rush out the door. then ignore me till final due date. then in between if i wanted to review my work, he would be like "it looks good" without taking the time to actually look. and then on submission time, i told him you said it was good. pissed me off a lot. luckily i left ASAP. this is why i don't work for small companies or say i am laid off. i always interview as an employed big shot.
......or using disciplinary proceedings as a motivation tool.
I've more work in 3 days (I just learned how to fill the store's website) than my boss has done in over 1.5 years- due to extreme boredom.
Dealt with that withholding situation recently and now racing against the click to get an important certification that will determine whether or not I’m eligible for promotion. She didn’t tell me at all until there was only a month left. But even then she lied and told me there was only 2 weeks.
I just got so sick of it all. Nothing but criticism at every turn; crucial information never reaches me; he demeans and insults my intelligence every time he speaks to me; presses me every time things aren't done EXACTLY the way he likes it; glosses over his mistakes but makes a big deal out of mine... Every day, I just felt like I was being strangled and slapped across the face for daring to step in through the doors in the morning.
I went straight to HR to quit after the mask fell and he started shouting at me over a misunderstanding back in November. I knew then, without a doubt that I couldn't keep working with an imbecile who doesn't respect me as a coworker.
Sounds almost like my job that’s why I’m quitting after I come back from my vacation
This reminds me of my situation! I am looking for a new job. My supervisor is toxic.
That's when you wait for that a$$hole in the garage one night in a hoodie with a tire iron that has his name on it. Seriously. I call it the "attitude adjusment" and when a$$hole comes back from the hospital sporting 50 stitches in his face and head, he's suddenly found patience, manners and respect for his employees..
Sounds like every single tudors in wv
@@shutit4024 SAME
Great video! I scored 9 for 9 with my manager! Fortunately today was my last day, though I feel for my colleagues! Subscribed!
Yay for escaping! 😃
Same for me! Put in my notice. All my colleagues are already overworked and they are taking up my projects. My Boss said she won’t replace me quickly because she’s looking for the right person who won’t quit like me. She’s gonna make the rest of the workplace leave
@@JenniferBrick 😂 lmao bruhhh I’m deaddd
Congratulations you are brave!!
Can’t wait to find a new job and quit honestly
Another trait is that they play favorites. In my one on ones with my former manager, which is supposed to be a conversation about my performance, it would end up being a chance for her to sing the praises of her favorites. How the conversation steered there I still don't know. This is on top of trying to make me feel absolutely wretched about any mistake I made, arranging meetings just to discuss them, and it was usually an issue of bad training. Also the entire team had a toxic, clique-y vibe that she was completely oblivious to.
I used to like my job. They changed managers and now everyday I want to quit. That is also a sign. If the job was good and then a new manager comes in and makes the job aweful.
Yes. My new manager has a huge chip on her shoulder and needs to prove she has power so she micromanages us to the extreme. Never a kind word or appreciation.
I'm sorry friends. It is so frustrating when you are cnotent at work and a new manager comes in with toxic behaviors.
@@JenniferBrick it is a shame, but I'm a believer in karma. Thank you for ur videos. You are truly inspirational.
The wicked are being placed in the seat of the good ones.It's looking and feeling more and more like Satan is in authority and taking over.
Yep been there! I used to have a great boss but no more 😢
I literally emailed my HR lady at 10 PM tonight because of my toxic boss sending me harassing text messages with screen pics. It's now 6 AM the next day and I'm watching this video. Thanks for the support.
I went through that. It's tough. Hang in there!
Does your company have a job called "HR lady"?
Hope this matter is resolved. However, I would advise you joining a union, HR will always try to protect the firm before the member of staff, and this can mean supporting a shitty manager over you.
Unbelievable!
HR are paid to support the manager.. HR just see you as an expense.. nothing more
Thank you! A good friend of mine said, "Mikey, it's not you, it's them. You are beautiful human being!"
The way of the world is the norm
Another sign is that they have favorites in work. One occasion in work the toxic manager accused me of of not fulfilling scientific weekly report, saying that it was not on the database. He openly pointed this out in front of other people.
I checked the database system and found he looked at the end of month figures but some working week covers the end of one month and the start of another. so he only saw two days of the old month. Well I was checking the other figures I found out in the past weeks I was the ONLY person to complete the report in the correct manner.
Later that day, I confronted the "AH" with these facts but he REFUSED to see it, from which he tried to rope in his favorites to back him up but they backed off know its a losing battle. Then he next tactic was to highlight a mistake i done that 2 months ago but i stated that others did the same just last week!. The AH just walked out of the office slamming the door!
I feel you! I have experienced the same thing. She claimed that person A (who is clearly her favourite person) did something and apparently I didnt and she was comparing me to her. When I asked Person A she told me it wasn't done. It's obvious that my boss was just trying to make me look bad.
Yeah this is a good one. I have a boss who has clear favorites and one of her faves is a huge troublemaker and the other does not do her job well. It’s clear she keeps them because she likes them the most.
Toxic Boss Trait: They only acknowledge specific good things that you do, in order to shunt you into a position and limit your accomplishments to one sphere of competence. Passive constructive dismissal.
Good (well toxic AF) adds.
My boss does that. She has blocked several potential transfers because she said I'm doing so well where I am. But she won't give me a raise or title increase because she thinks I have room to improve.
That's so true! My boss will only praise me in one thing I do! But will not acknowledge anything I do
@@futoijosei Watch Cassandra Mack videos, you won't regret it!
@@AngelOfDarknesss95 Look at Cassandra Mack videos, helped me a lot.
I had a manager like this in 2017. I wondered why I wasn’t getting any work. In our one on one, she told me that she was afraid I would fail to meet any deadline, if she assigned me any work. I’m completely blind. I think she was afraid a blind person couldn’t do the work. She also displayed micromanagement personalities toward me. Eventually, I took it to human resources. I got transferred to another manager. I’ve been happy ever since. I’m now getting the same work opportunities as my sighted coworkers.
Wow, I'm so sorry you went through that, Mike. It's great your HR team did the right thing.
@@JenniferBrick thank you. I have always said blindness itself is easy. The hardest part is managing others perceptions of it. People do have perceptions that blind people are somehow limited, which is not true. There is actually a blind person who climbed all the way to the top of Mount Everest. He pursued the seven summits challenge, which is to climb the highest mountain on each of the seven continents. He has a book about it. His name is Erik Weihenmayer. He went blind at age thirteen. For me, it was different, because I was born totally blind, so I never had any concept of what it’s like to see. He had to adjust to the fact that he was going to lose his eyesight. The book I am talking about is his whole biography. It is called touch the top of the world: a blind man’s journey to climb farther than the eye can see.
@@michaelwalker1928 honestly, I don't know a ton about blindness, but I do know how people perceive others with differences and can imagine the misconceptions and stereotypes you encounter.
I'm totally adding this book to my reading list, thank you so much for recommending it - it sounds really inspiring. I can't imagine climbing one mountain, let alone the 7 highest peaks!
@@JenniferBrick what do you think causes people to have stereotypes? You’re welcome, and you’re right that this is the most inspiring book I’ve ever read. It really taught me that you can do anything you put your mind to. I’d love to know how you like the book when you read it. What other books do you typically like to read?
I think media portrayals construct stereotypes; not that blindness is portrayed in a bad way, but how frequently is it portrayed in normal context, like at work unless it's part of a comedy schtick which is kinda derogatory.
My reading list is mostly personal development and business books. But I love a good biography or autobiography.
It’s been almost a year since I escaped my horrific toxic boss. I got out, you can too. I wanted to share my story for others who may be struggling
I had two bosses. (I worked at a bank in compliance for reference). My boss, the department assistant lead by fear. She was younger than all of us so looking back it was insecurity. Micromanaging to the extreme and was always overly harsh and critical reviews. She loved putting me on PIPs for no reason at all (I put up with this for over a year)
She would always put me, in particular on the spot and ask questions she knew I didn’t know the answer to. She enjoyed watching me squirm because I could see her smirk. I would be called in multiple times a week for “meetings” (she had the audacity to call it coaching. It was a complete berating/humiliation fest for her to do to me also infront of her boss so he would think she was a “tough manager” he even acknowledged this to me once as if it was a worthy trait) She would even call me in for basic questions I would ask my coworkers or things I supposedly said, many times it would twisted around. Anytime I would defend myself she said I needed to stop shifting blame. Textbook gaslighting and bullying. It was always done infront of the department lead, her boss.
I would be given obscene amounts of work, often told this was just a typical load and I needed to step it up. I would be given assignments with little to no direction. They also loved to change it up when I would be half way through then claimed I didn’t meet deadlines. If I dared questioned this all hell would break loose. Of course a meeting but the berating would really be amped up and I would usually be told I was in an entry level position or something of that nature and I had no business questioning management. I figured my best option was to stay quiet even though the changes on assignments didn’t make sense half the time. I learned to decode her like I was in the military. Swift door shut meant someone was about to get called in. If she stopped someone to chat it would maybe be a bearable day(which was few and far between). If it was quick footsteps she was on a warpath.
I would be given flowcharts for my “training” and said read it figure it out. I would usually cry, spend hours googling until I thought I had it. If I was wrong I would get yelled at by my bitterly angry coworker who was supposed to be training me. Then of course tattled on and yep meetings.
There was one nice coworker who helped me but boss woman tried turning us against each other by having me audit everything nice coworker did. Needless to say this didn’t go over well with her. I literally didn’t have a choice. My boss demanded I do what she tells me to If I wanted my job.
The level of cruelty was astonishing too. We were all expected to eat lunch together almost daily. It became exhausting trying to be happy go lucky at lunches when deep down I loathed these people. The jokes were usually at my expense, making fun of me, calling me bougie(because I liked sushi and Starbucks). I would just space out and pretend to laugh and join in. Hoping maybe they would like me and ease up on me in reviews. This never happened. My boss would even make fun Of me being serious and with a straight face. I truly think the others just joked, but she would often chime in and try to embarrass me. To this day I have no idea why she did this.
It got so bad I started having stomach problems, regular panic attacks and a constant eye twitch. It became agonizing never knowing when I would get called in for a meeting and have her berate me.
The final straw was when I didn’t take my (scheduled) vacation day to finish a project and I missed my sons field day. Only to have others take the credit. I was done and had reached my breaking point.
These days I’m happy to report I work for my successful family business. We travel when we want and put our kids first. My dr said when I quit I had severe depression and ptsd. Nightmares have gone away for the most part but the prolonged bullying really affected my mental health. Don’t ever ever put up with bullying and someone making you feel like you don’t matter. You do matter and you deserve so much more.
You poor thing! What a nasty little b*tch! You deserved so much better and this was totally all on her. Your competency and presence triggered the evil within her. She’ll always be a rotten egg and a miserable one. Glad you got out and now live in peace x
toxic managers are scary as hell and their victims can make more mistakes when they are anxious, nervious, stressed from the toxic boss...so more toxicity= more mistakes = more toxicity = more mistakes = more toxicity....
i find its also best to avoid too cult style company that promote family culture and other random activities instead of the actual job.
I agree with you, the whole "we're like a family" is at best an indicator that work life boundaries don't exist, and at worst you're going to find yourself in a toxic environment.
@@JenniferBrick with one interview, i joked that if we are a family, i can skate by doing the bare minimum like one of your kids. the interview turned red. i knew they had already hired someone internally and were wasting my time.
I just experienced that and I was looking around for David Karesh.
Hmmm one of our slogans is “welcome to the family” I overheard a manager say out loud this in a sarcastic way. The way they said it was like mocking the concept
@@csensale yeah i never once believed the concept. but some of my past bosses would keep pushing the company family moto hard. now anytime i hear that i laugh inside hard. and occasionally laugh in public as well. but i pass that off as an inside joke.
Don't forget a toxic boss who dismisses your ideas that they won't work, then within months implements it to high praise from his boss and it becomes part of how a new procedure is done.
My problem is I have or get ideas and I take the time/effort to even explain how or why the idea might be a better alternative to at least try but any of my ideas get dismissed and dont feel heard at all its like itd be better off if I wasn't even there if they're just going to keep doing whatever they feel like doing. I want to feel meaningful and that I'm helping not meaningless and I dont know whats even going on myself cuz theres gaps of communication or the newest stuff/info isnt always up to speed for everyone at work.
Micromanaging is the most sabotaging and annoying. Had a manager who instructed me to use a certain color of highlighter, if I used a different color or no highlighting, she threw the paperwork back to me and asked me to do it again. And our job was just average admin, nothing critical on highlighting or colors. The list went on and on.... After only two weeks, I quitted the job. I felt sorry for her and the company that hired her, time and energy wasted on small petty stuff while losing sight of big pictures. Maybe lack of security and spite, bitterness in their nature lead some managers to micromanage. So sad...
At my work, basically all the points said are what describes my boss.
Sorry friend ☹️
@@JenniferBrick I feel like when I’m quit or resign my position at my job my boss will bash and criticize me. I will find out when the time is right and I hopefully nothing will occur.
@@JenniferBrick if anyone asks for a raise he laughs it off thinking it’s a joke.
@@ar-hype1320 he sounds like an unpleasant person to work with. Remember his behavior has nothing to do with you.
All the above plus rolling eyes and yelling
I had a previous boss who did all of these things. The saddest part was that new people, when they realised what she was like, would quickly side with her so as not to become a target themselves. It was like playground bullying. If a boss really is this bad I doubt they will ever change. Its just their personality and they probably don't even realise. They will think its everyone else with the issue and not them.
Good job as always Jennifer. As a general rule, I think a toxic boss is almost always a walking contradiction. A toxic boss will give you a dozen meaningless but time-consuming tasks - to help you manage your time better. A toxic boss will give you the first negative review you've ever had in 10 years - because he wants you to do well. A toxic boss well tell you they are the most positive person in the world - and then never give anyone a positive review or even a compliment for the rest of their tenure. And above all a toxic boss is everyone's best buddy - but has no actual friends.
👍👍👍👍👍👍
9 out of 9 for me. It's insane to know that people can behave like this and get away with it!
In 2014, I got a job as a bartender. I had never worked in a bar before but I took to the job very well, and quickly began to feel very confident in the role. Both of the managers were a couple, one worked in the kitchen and the other was front of house, who I was working with a lot of the time. When I first started she was great, very helpful and supportive. But over time she began to be very critical of me and would yell at me in front of customers, and would put me on crazy long shifts when she couldn't be bothered to work. You never knew what mood she was going to be in from one day to the next.
Over time, my confidence began to shatter and I would go home crying sometimes but I didn't have the guts to quit. Eventually in 2015, she broke up with the other manager and left and I began to feel a bit better, but I was never the same even when a new, nicer manager was brought in. I left there eventually, and still have confidence issues but it's no where near as bad as it was back then.
Re: Being critical: Another aspect is that they won't let go of your mistakes. I had a toxic boss back in the 90's who kept reminding people of mistakes they made more than a year after they made them.
My boss never said I do anything good. She always criticizes me and tell me I am doing something wrong,
Some managers are not great at praise. Have you spoken to her about how you know you perform better when you know what you're doing well in her opinion as well as where you can improve?
Same here. Last month we had a conversation about our workrelation and i said to my boss.." you only say what i do wrong, never what i do right" and she looked at me as if i was nuts! As if there was absolutly no reason for her to compliment me every now and then. As if she even never had heard of the word "compliment". She drains all my energy out of me. When i come home i just wanne crawl in my bed.
This is my supervisor (my manager is good but my supervisor is not). My supervisor told me shortly after I started that people wanted to see me fail. She would pull me into meetings and just criticize everything I do. She has publically shamed me. She gossips. She plays favourites. She says I am not good enough. I have worked an extra 4.5 hours overtime when we were short staffed. Co-workers have told me to to watch my back. She has blamed me for things I never did, and things that were inconsequential away. She micromanages. She makes comments about about others that reflect personal things they told her that she should not have shared with me. She gets incredibly angry for small things and makes the environment horrible because you never want to touch base or ask question. She says she has trained us on stuff that she has not. I am currently putting together a plan to find a new job.
I've worked with women in the work place before and what I've noticed women hate other women at work or they all gossip about each other
@@mcali-reviews5585 exactly my boss and my coworkers
you describe toxic line management culture in the UK civil service - it’s such a negative space. I also like WION’s video on toxic workplaces and what it does to our health.
⭐️Your life and health is worth more than trying to please a toxic manager - my advice is trust yourself, have a conversation with your feelings, ask close friends are they seeing changes in you and please do leave before they ruin your self esteem 🙏 once your in that low place it’s hard to get another job; always leave before they break you down.
Great video! To me, The only thing you missed is playing favorites/comparing employees to each other.
My toxic boss is condescending and patronizing towards me in particular. She micromanages me and criticizes every little thing. She criticizes me in front of customers and my co workers. She NEVER compliments my work or acknowledges my growth, even as everyone else I work with does. But she doesn’t do this with other employees. Today, right in front of me, she complimented a brand new employee for doing something that she recently reprimanded me for failing to do (in her opinion). She actually said “Not everyone has the ability to do that, so I want to recognize you for that”. She knew I could hear her. I knew she knew I could hear her. We both knew she wasn’t complimenting him so much as insulting me in a back handed way. She was using him to get to me.
found my way here after I resigned! I feel so liberated!
I once had a boss who tried to throw me under the bus for their screw up. I love your statement … Lacking accountability stunts growth.
So very accurate. My boss does all of that and I can't move to another department because he's Chairman of the Board. A lot of what you described are signs of narcissism and my boss is a full blown flaming narcissist. The only way out is by quitting and I'm preparing to do that in a few months.
Wow, my current manager ticks all the boxes. Glad I’m leaving next month! 😊
Let’s get this straight about work. The workplace is time for pay. That’s it.
The workplace has become so toxic because of all the rules that employees have to follow when the toxic manager is captioned under “just doing their job (even if includes breaking most of the rules)” to get results for him/herself/for the “company.”
In the first couple of pointers, i thought nah maybe my boss isn't toxic. But from the 3rd point onwards I was like "WTF! That's exactly him!!"
Sad part is my boss is skilled in looking good and pretending he's friendly and kind. I used to believe he's really good. Until I noticed that despite my consistent good performance, I never got a promotion. That's when I started observing his actions than his stories. And they do tell a different picture. 😅
ACTION speaks LOUDER than WORDS!
I completely agree with you about actions speaking louder than words!
My boss was on a 6 month probationary period when she was first hired. She treated everyone really well during that time. The moment it was over, Dr. Jeckel turned into Mrs Hyde.
If you walk away from a conversation with someone at work feeling totally confused (this is a big one) OR feeling way "lower" than them (less smart, less cultured, less sophisticated, less worthy, less important, less powerful, less capable, etc), ASSUME they're toxic and limit contact with them. It's more about going with how you feel than what you think, if you want to build a "radar" system for this junk. I say "junk" because people who use tactics to lower the esteem of someone or intentionally confuse them are literally garbage people. I don't care how much money they have, if they can't treat people right and see them as humans, they belong in a trash colony among their own type. 🙂
Just because it's a "boss" don't mean they're better or have more money than you. I've seen CRUEL bosses who hate their life because they're divorced, paying alimony or have multiple baby mama's and pay child support. So they come to work bitter and take it out at work.
That comment helps me a lot thanks! My toxic bosses most likely hate their lives.
@@Cats4origami you're welcome! Keep your head up always!
Absolutely true!!!!👍👍
@@aalberto4961 💯
Do you know my boss?
Wow! Number one and two are the perfect definitions of my ex-boss. That's why I quit after a month. And the person who replaced me quit after a few days. Yikes! I hope that company's CEO realizes who the problem is. Micromanagement leads to being critical. Run for the hills!
Great content Jennifer and as they say - people don't leave their companies, they leave their managers!
Out of the 9 signs you explained here, my new boss actually checked at least 7. She used to give me a good vibe in the first month of her appointment, but the more I work with her, the more I realised these traits. The latest stunt she pulled on me was giving my own project to another co-worker without consulting or notifying me of the change, and in some ways, I felt insulted by that action. As if she had no respect for what I do and did for the company for the past 2 years (she just joined the company 6 months ago).
I had past episodes of depression and I fear it will come back with how she manages my co-workers and I. Before that happens, I am searching for a new company to work in, with hopefully a better work environment. It's gonna be hard with the pandemic, but as long as I keep trying, who knows.
Your feelings are valid, and I understand your concern with her behavior triggering depression. While you're in this situation focus on cultivating positivity. I recently read The Upward Spiral and it had a lot of great advice to help manage anxiety and depression, if you're a reader I highly recommend it.
I'm in the same situation as you. At the beginning I taught my manager was a leader who empower others by giving them the right info and guidance to succeed. But all I found is a snobby and absent manager, who only want to dominate others. Moreover she is a single and free child lady, who use the rest of her employees as substitute of that void of not having a proper family. I also have anxiety and depression, I am also preparing my way out
For about 8 years I had a toxic boss who was hilariously egotistical, which is precisely why he had been let go from 5 previous jobs in his past, and precisely why he was forced to "retire early" from our company. Your average "toxic boss" always has a fatal flaw that will always be their undoing in the end. My advice for success in the workplace is, don't waste time thinking about him/her. Just show up, shut up, and do your damn work. He'll be gone eventually. In the end, you'll still be there to watch his useless ass carry his stuff out the door to his car -- never to be seen again.
Unfortunately in some cases that doesn't happen soon enough.
Problem if his higher up is equally toxic and enables that type of behavior. I realized my toxic manager tolerates toxic management. Knowing this, it’s best to plan your exit gracefully
@@mau345 I agree. Secure a better job, then resign, leaving on good terms. Don't be a "bridge burner". However, I also think it should be acknowledged that everyone has their own subjective notion of what "toxic" means. QED, that guy who had to quit 5 "toxic" companies in one year.
This video is on point! My coworker was promoted to be a boss and is doing all these and is now being demoted after only two months! Karma. Also, you are right, any time you are asked to do unethical things, quickly get out of the job. I had a boss who asked me to befriend a coworker and get her ammunition to fire the person. As soon as I refused, she set her favorites to come after me. It got so hostile, that I left, and now years later, she was stripped of all her direct reports, and you guessed it GOT DEMOTED, after getting caught misappropriating funds.
So true so many of the signs. While I was presenting once my boss interrupted me and after my presentation was over she said this to my colleagues, 'Thanks for sitting through this' like as if whatever I said was total bs. As someone with HR experience I think I know what i'm talking about when it comes to compliance. Her rudeness was so unnecessary🙄
I worked in good company, with great coworkers and with job I loved, and I was forced to quit because my boss literally burned me down not only mentally but physically too. It wasn't until I left I realized I was suffering from trauma. Fortunately I found new job with great boss, but now I have to deal with toxic coworkers :) And it makes me sad, because in situation that I was in, company decided to take my boss' side because she had great results, causing my entire department to subsequently leave. Not realizing that those results was not because of my boss but in spite off her. Now i honestly don't know what to do next, to deal with the fact that every workplace has at least one issue, or to simply change jobs hoping I'll hit jackpot one day?
#8 is so true. It has gotten to the point where I don't want to admit to my own mistakes because I am already taking the blame for someone else's mistakes. One of my core values is honesty and accountability.
I have the same values, and had the same struggle when I was in a toxic workplace.
My best advice is while you're in it to differentiate accountability from external ownership. Toxic bosses and coworkers will happily hand blame to anyone willing to accept it, and because you are accountable they will take advantage. Think of it this way: you can know your accountabilities without stating them outloud; I know this isn't fully aligned, but it will protect you from blame which is theirs.
Does that make sense?
Hi @@JenniferBrick , is someone blaming you for your co-workers mistakes regarded as toxic when you are not the manager or team lead ? Esp when they choose to address this in public spaces such as groups and copying everyone in emails. I don't know know how to address this as I am accountable for my own work. Is it an opportunity to grow into a management position?
I’ve gotten to the point where if I’ve had a problem which I sought my boss’s advice, it was thrown in my face at a later date even though I wasn’t the problem in the scenario. I basically work siloed on purpose now.
I’ve been dealing with this mentally and emotionally for the past year, the sad part is no one wants to help me or care and I’ve never been this low before.
13 working days left of my notice. My toxic boss' behaviour is getting less stress inducing and more amusing by the hour.
lol! I've been there. Enjoy. And if you feel involuntary muscle twitching and other weird symptoms in the weeks after you left, don't be surprised either. It's your body releasing all the stress you didn't know you had.
Be sure to sing some Johnny paycheck on the way out come quitting day. I'm sure your boss will love it.
The worst thing about toxic managers is that they’ve been given awards & promotions. There was nothing wrong with my work but the toxic manager went out of her way to blame, criticize & physically abuse me & create more unnecessary work when & was on a fault finding mission. She didn’t even apologize for the mistakes she made. She keeps hitting me & I told her to stop hitting me & she ignored me.
If she actually put hands on you, you should have called the police and took any photos of any bruises or marks. There is NO excuse for that whatsoever.
Hi. Thank you for clarifying the top eight categories of toxic superiors. Loved it.
Under those conditions, leaving the work is unavoidable, but it is very critical to address the issue(s) before you leave. Why? This allows you to have an impact on other employees while also improving your leadership and confidence skills.😊
Yes I once had a manager that would gossip about everyone and their work performance and beyond that being toxic and unprofessional it’s so absolutely immature.
#10 Discloses salary information of his/her direct reports. (True story)
#11 Triangulates employees.
#12 Tolerates abusive employees and expects everyone else to put up with it.
#13 Uses a proxy to manage his team. Like depends on one of your coworkers for updates.
#14 Absentee Manager who is almost never available for a discussion. Provides no feedback on anything.
#15 Pushes problems under the carpet and pretends that everything is perfect.
#16 Says racist/sexist/discriminatory stuff at work and is surprised everyone is offended.
#17 Spends 99% of his time chit chatting and 1% of his time doing his actual work.
Sounds like the cock roach manager I had recently.
😊
In my retail and call center experience, my managers have been toxic. They are as useful as a bad appendix. I have gone above them by training on my craft, developing routines, and focusing on customers. It was a great video, Jennifer.
Certainly resonates on many levels. It's one thing to point out what's wrong, it's another to continuosly point it out and pressure, and ensure the whole team knows.
Yeah I only just learned recently how toxic my last general manager was. When I first started at my job I believed that the reason why I was being treated so poorly was because I myself was defective and if I was good at the job then my boss and everybody else wouldn't treat me so bad but she was just plain toxic.
I saw her plain as day gossiping and talking shit about her employees, being overly critical and unnecessarily mean to her employees, being lazy as shit and never helping us out, and on top of that overworked us to the bone. I used to wonder why our turnover rate was so high but now I know it is because we just had a very toxic manager.
Now we have a new one and the workplace is much more pleasant. She promotes high standards in all of us and she has the good of us and the store in mind. I feel motivated and happy to be at work and try my best now.
Now I know that if your workplace is really bad and you are unhappy and stressed and don't have the motivation to go to work. It is because you have a shitty boss. Never underestimate the power of a good boss.
My husband had a very toxic boss backed up by very toxic, corrupt superiors. He took early retirement to get rid of them all.
It's the corrupt and toxic ones in the workplace who need to be rid of.
They're the abomination of desolation in the workplace Destruction is in their ways
How about this if you hear someone say: “ if you don’t like, it quit”?????
Depends on the context. In a toxic dynamic with a manager, the solution is quitting (not on the spot, but when you're ready). Toxic managers say this as a show of power... and this is going to sound strange but the way to either disarm or trigger them is to not react.
I did. Yelled in my face: "I can put another draftsman here - do you want that?" Got up from my seat and went straight to HR to discuss my resignation. The next day, he was all back-handed about begging me to stay.
I left in the middle of a big project and now he's managing the entire department alone. Fuck him. No regrets.
Yeah, my response would be 'how about we fix this, so no one feels like quitting?'
My manager backstabs absolutely everyone in the company.
I am shocked to hear that even the ones very close to her, the ones giving her advice.
She turns against one another in her team.
You are absolutely right, the sad thing is I fall into her trap 😭😭😭😭
I had a problem and although the manager, wasn’t nasty they did say in a polite way that maybe you should look for other opportunities
Thank you so much for interpreting accurately signs of a toxic boss. I started a job 2 months ago in an interior design company and the job offer was alluring. Until i fell into this toxic interior design boss where I started to notice red flags from the first week. Bad guidance, then, rudeness, then miscommunication, then making me do designs that she doesn't use or show up to the client she just threw them in a network file then, micromanagement of every silly detail in my work and finally mistreating me all the time infront of my colleagues and also another huge red flag, i heard her talking with one of my coworkers that I have a poor work quality. Not to mention how much wrong info she gives md, make me work all based on hazard info then blame me. The things escalated too bad so fast that last Thursday i had enough of stress and disrespect that she asked me if i know what is a suspended light! And giving me a sudden huge task 3 hours before the end of the work day and expecting me to finish it fast with details. So i gathered my things, sent a report email to the general manager and said byebye to this psychopath!
You forgot a boss that takes the credit for your work and gives you the blame for things you may not have been responsible for. Until corporations realize that a$$hole managers are costing THEM money nothing will change.
This video is spot on!! This was everything I just went through in my recent job, a job I actually would have enjoyed but HER! My positive feedback came from others, but my mgr consistently focused on what I did wrong which, over time, began eroding my confidence.
How about everyone fearing the boss’ criticism because he’s naturally insecure/perfectionist. Like for example we have a lot do do before we open the supermarket in the morning so if the owner walks in at say 8am and everything isn’t perfect stresses us out even though sales numbers are fine.
Working with owners / founders often has an extra level of perfectionism. Their business is entwined with their identity, and most have little to no leadership training.
That was such an eye opener. I’m so happy to know I’m not alone in my thoughts on toxic people.
Hallelujah! I’m so done with my psychopathic narcissistic boss and colleagues. Blame game, yelling at ppl until they get verbally smacked down by said person. They also love calling this person that person an alcoholic or drug addict turns out they’re alcoholics and Xanax addicts. I get compliments from everyone so they sabotage my work and talk crap behind my back accuse me of theft and drinking on the job. My reputation my moral compass is worth more than a few measly dollars. I found a new role and I gave no notice. I’m their 20th person in a years time. God forbid anyone is complimented they’ll make up stories and throw dirt on that person’s name. Now that km out I’m sure they’ll do the same.
Need to listen this again and again. Thank you
Really appreciate these videos, they help validate my experience I had in a toxic work environment (which was pretty much all from my boss and one other coworker - everyone else were so wonderful). One time I asked for more feedback from my boss, because I was basically sitting there all day with no feedback of any kind, and I wanted to learn how I could grow. He told me that my desire for more feedback was a self-esteem problem.
Today was my last day. Can't describe the relief!
You are right! My ex-toxic boss had really stunted my career growth and development of learning process. I had already decided to leave the company for my mental health and well-being
I made my toxic boss pay. I was promoted over her. Twice. I have enjoyed making her life difficult ever since. I suppose she could try to find another job but gosh darn it _somehow_ her bad reputation is now common knowledge in the field and no other company will have her.
It wasn't until hearing from people outside academia that I realized just what a toxic work environment exists inside academia. Imagine going your entire career with professors just telling you how much your work needs to be improved or what you did wrong and never what worked well or ever offer words of encouragement. No one would tolerate that for long in the business world, yet PhD students put up with it every day, as do new career academics and assistant professors.
Great video!
Most small business owners pretty much have the attitude that they can do and say anything they want to, cause they’re paying you. I try to keep that in mind. He signs my checks.
Great Job. For anyone in a toxic work environment, whether the source may be peers or a supervisor, your point-by-point illustrations and discussion are very helpful. I plan to show your video in my MBA class. Thank you.
My employer recently asked me to do something that is unethical and illegal. I have started looking for another job.
7:00 Yup. I had a boss who would make fun of another person's work in private to me. It was awkward and I would act like I didn't understand what she was saying. I bet she made fun of me for that too with someone else.
You know then they do it about someone else they do it about you too.
Oh my gosh, spot on. Perfect description of my manager. This is what I'm dealing with. She is a nightmare.
Thank you so much. This will be an instrumental tool dealing with toxic coworkers
My first day on the on-site job I got reprimanded for bugging my remote boss too much with too many questions. I was there alone! No one was answering any of my calls, emails, or messages. Then I got reprimanded. Her rules were: first try to solve the problem yourself, then ask someone in the building (there was no one there), then as a last resort to ask her. Remember this was day one on the job.
Thank you! This fills me with hope! Bless you!
So glad it helped Jonathan!
Wow! You nailed it! This has opened my eyes! My boss is all of these things!
Another one to add to what you already mentioned: he compares you to your coworkers! Example: your team mate ‘x’ sends a follow-up on the task within an hour or two, for you it takes you around 2 days to send that follow-up, you’re a bit too slow when it comes to following up
After 20 years, I realize that my toxic boss was doing all this to protect his job. Once he was forcefully retired, nobody was hired to take his spot.
This is so accurate! Another great video 🙌🏻
Thank you for your kind word, Jen! When we talk about toxicity here I really feel like we need positivity to balance it out in the comments. You are so awesome for sharing your awesomeness here 😃
YESSSS!!!!! I just found her channel tonight and have stayed up to 5am binge watching now I have to get ready to go to my toxic job with my toxic manager 🙃😅
@@trishelle7092 hope you got some sleep! You need rest to get through the day - and to plot your escape!
Jennifer: I just found your TH-cam channel --- so informative & eye-opening. Thank you! 😊
Thanks. This is really helpful. Sometimes it’s hard to notice, because my boss is so critical and I think it’s me. It’s hard to know, but this helped me see that constant criticism isn’t healthy.
I never clicked on something so fast lol! I definitely agree with all of this, but especially if someone is gossiping about other coworkers to you they’re more than likely also gossiping about you to others. My current boss does that, but what really drives me crazy is she will walk around for at least three hours each day and vent to people about her kids and husband. Like I could careless what’s going on in her life 🙄🙄 I do live by what you say coworkers are not your friends.
My immediate boss is like this too, she often bad mouthed one of our coworkers whenever that coworker is out of the office, and then she is friendly to her in front. Makes me think she talks at my back too, which is scary.
Whenever we go our boss with a problem she talks about how her and her husbands spats or the crunch of redoing their house
Fantastic video. Really helpful, thank you for making it:)
I'm glad it helped, but I'm sorry you needed this one.
Agree, thanks for the signs. My manager has all the traits you mentioned
Check, Check, Check, and Check. Thanks for making this, I was able to pinpoint all the toxic behavior they’re oozing.
Just quit after boss started worrying about how much coffee the team was drinking; changed work hours three times; cut our hours to 32 a week. Two weeks was all I could take.
32 hours a week that’s awful I get 50 hours a week
You were so spot on with all of this. I was definitely in a toxic environment 9yrs ago, when a new-to-my-program, licensed teacher chose to fill the spot of the former licensed teacher who retired. My program was a sped class with severely disabled children(kids in wheelchairs, mentally disabled, seizure disorders, etc), and having already known she wasn’t very good in her previous position, I knew I was in for some tough days. Well long story short, despite starting out smiling and seemingly kind, and despite my many attempts to help her, this woman turned into the wicked witch. Nothing I did was right, and she took every opportunity to rat me out to admin over every little mistake/perceived mistake. And she was a liar. She was everything you stated in your description of a toxic boss. She wasn’t even kind or compassionate to the kids, nor understanding of their needs due to their disability, literally assuming one kiddo was dead when he was on the floor seizing😲😒 She even tried giving away my position to a substitute one day. Suffice to say, that was the worse experience and the worse year of my career.🤦🏾♀️ But I was jumping for joy inside when she told me she wouldn’t be back the nxt school year🤗I couldn’t take any more of her nonsense.
So glad you don't have to deal with it anymore!
@@JenniferBrick Thnx. Sad thing is, there’s always a chance it could happen again since sped tends to have a high turn over with teachers. Over the 24yrs of my educational career, I’ve gone through at least 8 licensed teachers and 3 were long-term subs. So after that witchy woman, I’ve lived in a bit of fear of gettin another like her at some point. I just look forward to the day I get to retire and am done with the crazy😑
Great information. Thank you.