As long as Miss Wrong is in the way, there is no room for Miss Right. Miss Right is never going to play 2nd fiddle to your buddy Miss Wrong. So you will end up alone when her Mr.Right comes along. Just keep telling yourself that. And someday she’s going to realize there’s no room for Mr. Right as long as Mr.Wrong is in the way. I think when you realize that you are just staying there hoping to become Mr. Right, you’re secretly hoping that you are blocking the way for some other Mr.Right. But that’s not reality. I’m a woman who had that man that I a loved very much but, I was not “in love with him.” He had 2 kids and it broke my heart and the kids’ hearts when I had to say to myself as much as I loved him, I was not “in love with him.” Rip off the bandaid. It’s going to hurt for awhile, but then the door will be open for Mrs.Right and you will look back and wonder why you waited for so long.
@@kevindavis4709if your mindset is every guy she's in proximity to, she must have fked, that's dangerous mindset too. In fact, them living together without a sexual relationship is a sign she's emotionally strong, because she's not fking the nearest man every time she feels low.
@@kevindavis4709it’s not just you, there’s a lot of things people who don’t believe that friends can live together if they are opposite sex, but it happens
@@MoonflowerSocietyyeah it sounds like she’s been pretty clear. And of course she doesn’t want to walk away from the friendship. She probably really likes being his friend. And that’s okay.
@@MoonflowerSociety Exactly. No is a complete sentence- The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker. Her boundaries were clear from the beginning. We don't owe anyone a relationship. They both need to exit from each others lives. Let go of what does not serve you well. We Don't Attract The Wrong People We Allow Them To Be In Our Lives-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Communicating With Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Attract Avoidant Partners- Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
It's also his words that they have this 'great friendship', how he keeps speaking 'we' and that they have these 'magic thing together'. He's got this whole imaginary relationship, it sounds like an obsession. I wonder what's her perspective, wouldn't be surprised if it was 'he's an ok roommate/landlord and the rent is decent'.
No is a complete sentence - The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker Let go of what does not serve you well. Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Communicating With Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Relationship - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
@@xro1983 And why would that be a problem, logistically? People with shared apartments with roommates date all the time. From what he said, it's quite a big of a house in his case. But he obviously wouldn't date anyone because he's emotionally caught up in this fantasy relationship with her.
He's a blue pill religious dude, he's projecting his feelings onto her thinking she feels the same way but doesn't know it yet, he's just delusional and naive to female nature.
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 We Don't Attract The Wrong People We Allow Them To Be In Our Lives- Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Attract Avoidant Partners- Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Communicating With Avoidant Attachers Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What To Do To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Healing From A Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Let go of what does not serve you well.
8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies. Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-IMAGO Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin -attachment styles Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It! by Kamal Ravikant ❤️ Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren Boundaries by Henry Cloud Safe People by Henry Cloud Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg
Dr Deloney got this wrong. He needs to ask her to move out, and cut all ties with her. He needs to grieve her and start dating. Keeping her in his life, will keep him stuck on her.
Let me put it straight: She is not physically, sexually, spiritually or emotionally attracted to you. She does not want to lay down with you. She will never open her body to you. She just is not in to you that way. You don’t spark her fancy.
Exactly. This is a huge red flag that women (and men, too, the genders do occasionally reverse here) tend to look for early in a relationship. Any woman with good sense would see through him and nope out of that relationship pretty quickly.
This guy needs to walk away and never look back. Start making the right moves in silence and be ready to disengage and disassociate. It may take a few weeks, but stay focused. When you finally leave, you can give her a final goodbye (with maybe an explanation), or you can just completely ghost her. Whether she notices you gone is on her, not you. When you leave, ensure you never get pulled back into her orbit, so block her on everything.
This guys uncomfortable laugh is giving me anxiety “she told me she doesn’t feel any spark but then I told her we do life so well together hahahaha” bruh
@@Ja50nkAtnope, I personally love that from a man I know almost as well as myself, who I’ve seen experience every level of human emotion, from low to high, and who I choose to keep loving every day for the rest of our lifetimes
@@Ja50nkAtnah this isn’t true. Sometimes it is but, just like anyone else, there are many different types of women. A lot of women I know fall more in love with people the more they get to know them. It just is what it is. She has no obligation to love him. And she probably never has. And that’s okay.
That brought back memories. I kinda have some of the same thing when I was in high school i was a fool and exposed myself to such a humiliating feeling, let your heart unguarded it's only my mistake and I paid for it, love from one side.. that girl was kind of calm kind beautiful friendly with people she knows and smh shy and reserve whatever she told me one day that she won't be with anyone to not hurt me 😂 I find that even more pathetic, I told her your free to do whatever you want with your life, it's not my concern.
Dear caller, You sound like a kind man. It may seem hopeless, but there's another woman out there who will love you back. Grieve the loss of the future you thought you would have with your best friend. Then, open yourself up to someone else. I hope a year or so from now, you're calling in to tell us about your beautiful wife who is head over heels in love with you. You deserve that ❤️.
Dear caller, don’t waste your time and your life. Find value and happiness doing the things you want, if people are there - cool, if not - oh well. Life is short don’t waste it trying to make something work with someone who isn’t all in.
This guy needs to walk away and never look back. Start making the right moves in silence and be ready to disengage and disassociate. It may take a few weeks, but stay focused. When you finally leave, you can give her a final goodbye (with maybe an explanation), or you can just completely ghost her. Whether she notices you gone is on her, not you. When you leave, ensure you never get pulled back into her orbit, so block her on everything.
This guy needs to walk away and never look back. Start making the right moves in silence and be ready to disengage and disassociate. It may take a few weeks, but stay focused. When you finally leave, you can give her a final goodbye (with maybe an explanation), or you can just completely ghost her. Whether she notices you gone is on her, not you. When you leave, ensure you never get pulled back into her orbit, so block her on everything.
He’s clearly obsessed with her and the idea 💡 of life with her. But she ain’t seeing none of that. He’s caught up in making excuses for her. she’s definitely living her best life. Poor guy!! 🥲
@@Sophi25444 poor her. She's been a friend, she's paying her rent. It's him who is making her uncomfortable. Guaranteed she said the no dating till 40, to discourage him. She hasn't led him on, he's built a fantasy in his head.
I've been in this friendship, as a woman who met my best friend in a season of trauma and fell in love with him. We did everything together, short of living and sleeping together. We were both single for most of a decade of friendship until he found someone and completely ghosted me and abandoned our friendship, in an instant with no explanation. When they broke up he reappeared and we are still rebuilding some kind of friendship, but with many more boundaries. Guard your heart friends. Don't hold out for someone who has told you they don't want you.
Appreciate your concern, friends. To be clear...we do not have anything approaching a robust friendship at this point, a year later. We act kind of like acquaintances. I don't think there is reason to expect more. But you are correct...I am not great at following my own advice...
@@xro1983 that would be the case if she was paying nothing and offering a potential relationship. But she isn't. She's paying half the rent and is actually being a friend. The thing he's pretending to be
She doesn’t value him as a friend. She knows how he feels and she’s content to let him stay in misery. She values the things she’s getting from him without having to commit.
Johns advice for her to move out but for them to remain close friends is a death trap for this man. He does not have the capacity to do that. He will be stuck in the same spot emotionaly and spiritualy. They both need a clean break that allows them to reset tbere lifes and allows new people into it.
It will also make it hard for him to date if she’s in the picture. It’s very easy to tell when someone has feelings for their “best friend.” A lot of good women will see that and not want to be part of that drama.
@cheeseball5573 100% as someone who was that "other woman." I could see how invested he was with his best friend...how much he prioritized her over me.....addressing it with him and he was in complete denial. Having enough self respect to leave, you just gotta leave that 💩 alone because no one can enter a relationship on either side (the guy or girl) and not have an issue with it. People will call it insecurity, but until you're in it, it's called healthy boundaries and self-respect.
@@kevindavis4709if she was fking him or did in the past, no. If she never has, I would take that as a sign she doesn't fk the nearest man, especially after 7 years.
Sad part with women is not easy for them once they get 40 pretty much it. Us men age like fine wine, women age, like spoiled milk that’s why women need too choose their man wisely in their 20’s instead of settling for the good man provider in her 40s.
@@kevindavis4709😅😅😅 men age like fine wine ?! Where? Y'all are balding, have beer bellies and look way older than your age 😂 funny joke there, as women age were just not settling for emotionally unintelligent men anymore and we'd rather remain single and men hate that cuz they can't stand to be alone, y'all want a mommy to do everything for you, men dont see women as people, only objects, for our body and what we can do for them... Take a seat sir with your ridiculous comment
@@kevindavis4709this rhetoric is really ill. Men suffer from many aging complications which include erectile dysfunction, colon cancer, prostate cancer, heart conditions, high blood pressure and cholesterol, plus other aging diseases, such as Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Older Men also have a probability of creating offspring with conditions like Asperger’s due to their older age. You do not have to degrade women to make yourself feel better because none of that is true.
Is it good fortune, though? Or is it that he goes through life and hangs on to the mutually rewarding relationships that happen along the way? I'm an introvert, and I have friends in my life from high school and more recently. If none of the people in your life are capable of being a halfway decent friend, something is wrong somewhere.
I think when he starts dating, it will all become crystal clear. JOHN said it perfectly- a real friend would see that you haven’t moved on and would’ve given you the space/push to do what was best for you. When he sets the friend boundary on his side he will find out how much of a friend she truly is, and she will clarify what her deal is. I am glad John spoke about having to deal with his grief about the reality of the situation, because yeah, that is going to happen.
It's also his words that they have this 'great friendship', how he keeps speaking 'we' and that they have these 'magic thing together'. He's got this whole imaginary relationship, it sounds like an obsession. I wonder what's her perspective, wouldn't be surprised if it was 'he's an ok roommate/landlord, and the rent is decent'.
He's backed himself into a corner. So it will be very hard for him to date someone else. I'm not sure he has the will power to completely cut her out of his life, and he needs to do that.
She views him as a friend which is perfectly fine. It's also OK for her to not want to date until she's 40. She was honest about her wants and boundaries. He is the one who chose to continue to the relationship/friendship knowing it was unrequited. I say this from personal experience. I had a major crush on a dude who was completely honest that he only wanted to be my friend. I CHOSE to keep in touch with him against my better judgment. I SHOULD have walked away. I do not blame him. I can only take accountability for my actions. Sure, he could have let me go knowing I was in a one sided crush. But that is not his cross to bear. I had to gather the strength to draw the line and honor myself and my values. 🤷🏾♀️
@@ViolinfanaticOriginal Sure we haven't met her, and have only the caller's word for it, but you know, it's not rocket science, you don't need to make 'assumptions': not dating till 40 is not a thing. It's - more than obviously - an excuse.
I think she said she won't date until 40, because she wanted the free validation in the meantime from him until 40. I'm not sure she specifically said she would never date him. When she reaches 40, then she'll come up with another excuse.
@joane24 you could certainly be right, but once again, speculation. And it is totally a thing. There are people who are celibate, asexual, lesbians, etc... I am one of those people who said I would not start dating until my 30s. I am now in my 30s, and still don't want to date. I probably never will. After so many years, it gets harder to make the leap into dating and relationships because single life is just so peaceful. Lol At this age, I can't even imagine having to share my space with someone. 🤷🏾♀️ There is a whole movement of men and women who think this way. Single for life or waiting until an older age.
That's a new one! Women are conditioned NOT to hurt people's feelings, and it sounds like this is one of those instances. Or she's a lesbian afraid to come out due to her religious or family background.
He’s been in this situation for 7 years and living with her for 5. The only way this ends is with her eventually getting bored and leaving him and the friendship behind. It’s never going to go the way he wants
This ends with A) him being creepy and her leaving B) him pretending to be her friend until she finds a partner, and him getting jealous C) him doing another hail mary "I love you", and her being weirded out. D) him being honest and saying, "I can't live with you because I want a relationship, so best you leave". Ultimately he has to use option D, because the first 3 leave him with little dignity.
@philwill0123 I agree! He needs to cut his losses now. He needs to grow a pair and realise that he is creating a world of hurt for himself. She gets everything she wants from this ' friendship', while he waits and pines for her. Letting her leave is the only answer if he has any form of dignity.
It's much easier to be in love with someone who doesn't want you. There's no risk, and no reward. The hard thing is to be in a relationship. He's hiding from responsibility.
@@usssanjacinto1 Not putting her up on this crazy pedestal and thinking certain signs mean she is 'the one' for him. It would look like him seeing who she is as a person, flaws and all, and loving her anyway
I had a “friend” like this. He couldn’t get a woman if it killed him. He grossed me out physically and there was below zero chemistry. This guy doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell with her.
@@BENR8108 This is another reason why men don't want to be in the friendzone, this is what she really thinks of her "friend". This is why I lmao at guys who are like: "You need female friends to get girls". Women definitely KNOW when you're friend zoned you're not even fooling most men.
John made it clear, this guy is living in fantasy land.. Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Informative video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
@@blakeharrison3972 Perhaps that previous woman had a good reason to leave. As we can see in this call, the guy is delusional and obsessive, and doesn't take no for an answer. He knows this current woman friend is not interested in him, but he doesn't like that answer, so he continues on his fantasy.
This is not her problem. She has made it clear with him but he’s still holding on to the idea of them being romantically together. Do not punish her just bc she does not feel the same way and still wants to remain friends.
The problem is she’s still living with him, and she knows how he feels about her. He’s clearly naive, and she takes advantage of it, that’s not exactly a good person. Think if the shoe was on the other foot.
@@tonytoni1150it's on him to tell her to leave. She was honest with him, and he's the guy who is lying about his feelings pretending to be her friend, to stay close her. She doesn't owe him any relationship beyond friendship, and she shouldn't have to move because he can't react appropriately.
@Tsukibi20 because she lives with him...half the rent, half the bills..if she even pays for them...sounds like she is having her cake and eating it too.....she saves a lot of money living with him I'm sure....just my speculation
Dude sounds WAY too intense. I feel like that's the real reason for the "not dating till 40" comment. I'd just tell him "dude, I don't like you, you're too needy and intense and it makes my skin crawl." Men need to be told coldly like that or they don't stop. Be cruel to be kind, ladies. 😎
Basically she's not physically attracted to him. She feels no spark but she likes the security and comfort of having a masculine presence. He will have to move on from her, heal and cut off communication. Or else he'll always have that hope and miss out on a woman that really wants him.
Move on, Rick. She is a lovely friend, but that is all. Women have these kind of friendships with each other. Nothing is more cringy than a woman saying, "I won't be dating for 15 years" and him saying, "I'll wait."
@@geieffect Yeah that's weird and creepy. Anyone waiting that long for a specific person, basically devotes their life to FANTASY, not a real person. The only exception I can see if your spouse was said to be lost at war but you wait against all hope, and he comes back. Not sure I've heard about any real cases like that outside movie theater though.
This is what they mean when they say nice guys finish last. You put yourself in the friend zone, by not making a move early on. As soon as you have interest, make a move, & move on if she says no. I had a lot of guy friends before I met my husband. I could have seen myself married to any of them, but none asked. They carried on as if we were friends & showed zero interest, until the second my now husband asked me out. Then suddenly, I was a terrible person for not dating them. Just ask & move on.
@@user-qp2qe5gf9b Except he's not a nice guy meaning a good, kind guy. His a 'nice guy' meaning the negative stereotype. He's creeping and obsessing over her, and trying to act nice in hopes of getting romantic interest in return, as a prize for good behavior. That's creepiness, not kindness.
@@joane24 I actually disagree in this situation. Yes a lot of "nice guys" are creepy but I don't think he particularly is. Yes he's obsessed, but I think it makes sense because he's attracted to her and they have chemistry and have spent so much time together. I only think it's creepy when you're obsessing over a chick that you don't even know, and it's only driven by physical attraction. He clearly knows her well, and they have a genuine bond. I do think he's genuinely nice, I just don't think he's masculine(which is HUGE to women romantically). Just listening through the phone, he's giving off major "gay best friend" vibes.
@@marcusj5135what even is this? Of course you can be creepy to someone you know. Statistically, women are most in danger of the men in their homes or an ex.
Learned this long ago, if you are interested in someone you MUST act quickly. If you don't, you will land in the zone, never to escape. If you are on a date, the first real date, hold hands, get the smooch at the end. Anything less or refused and it ends right there. If she is meant for you and is interested, it flows easily. Drama and games and problems mean it's time to move on.
It is still more comfortable than being totally alone and it happened gratually like slowly so you did get used to it. Why are ppl in long distance relationships ? They are still connected on an emotional level. I wonder if he is not her type so she can't get herself to sleep with him But many ppl would be happy to have someone they can share fun stuff with . its sometimes the oposite where the couple only sleep together and then kind of lives like some strangers in the home . Some studies evne said couples talk like new sentence with each other and mostly it is just what do we eat together
@@kevindavis4709 and vice versa imagine going to your boyfriend's home and seeing a lady roomate (likely younger than him from what he said) AND then you find out he's wanted her for 7yrs lmao nope
went through a season of this. you gotta, you GOTTA run away and choose to let that idol go. your idol is the idea of being with her but i will tell you the classic most true quote ever “if she wanted to be with you she would.” or she would make the effort to be with you. when people tell you about themselves, especially if she says she doesn’t want to date. believe her and have some integrity and dignity to walk away. it’s soo incredibly hard but man, freedom to see that God has someone who will treat you right and not only reciprocate but desire to be with you and make it apparent. she said no. walk away. nothing is more powerful than to walk away even though it hurts so bad. I pray this dude wakes up, God had to wake me up and i am so grateful that my time was limited than dragging it out over years and years. it’s so hard bro but do it, find some homies(men) who will drag you out and keep you accountable until things change. lastly, things won’t change unless something changes. blessing bro
I was in this exact situation with my current wife about 10 years ago. She had me squarely in the friend zone and I made it clear the way I felt about her, I told her I would be happy to still stick around but that I loved her for who she was and that I wanted more between us. She would regularly ask after the fact if I was still having those feelings and my answer was always yes. I loved her and let her go when she moved away, but 2 years later, she came back to me, and we've been together for a decade now.
There definitely was a weird vibe here, but it sounds to me like their lives are way too linked for her to even have time to be dating on the side without him knowing.
Not at all. She might phrase extended time away as "a work conference" or something to that nature, then she has the opportunity to avoid him for a couple days. Based on how this guy sounds I can picture him believing her 100 percent.
Having a wonderful friendship doesn't automatically mean that a romantic relationship will have the same spark. He needs to get back to reality and move on.
Just like you can't force her to be attracted to him, you can't force him to see her as just a friend. It's really best to cut ties and move on to people you have genuine and mutual platonic/romantic relationships. It's ok to end friendships
I was this crazy over a chick that didn’t feel the same way about me for a long time …….Accepting the truth is so hard, and I really hope this brother can make it to the other side ❤️💯
Same here. I eventually won her over and got into the most toxic relationship of my life. 5 1/2 years I’ll never get back. I wish I could tell my younger self not to be a simp.
@ I’m sorry about that bro ! I thought you had a happy ending for a min ! I literally was just in this situation a few months ago …. I had to block her on everything so I can try to move on.
@@amethystmoonchild6568 I was 15 and she would occasionally lead me on. Man, why y’all ladies have to be so toxic about it? I wasn’t pushy or anything, just doing exactly what y’all tell us to do. “Chase and pursue the woman.” Worst advice of my life. I broke up with her after knowing it was extremely toxic (SHE was abusive, not me). My girlfriend these days is extremely beautiful both in and out, and she literally does too much for me and shows me that she cares. She is amazing. Don’t invest time and energy into someone who just uses you.
@@Itsjrob_ I’m sorry to hear about your situation too bro. Keep your head up and don’t forget that you did he right thing, saved yourself a lifetime of pain.
I think we all know someone that has a great love story that started this way, so we keep hope alive that they will change their mind. But that couple we know is the EXCEPTION to the rule. And a rare exception. I had a guy friend like this that wasn't into me, but I hoped he would change his mind so I continued to be a close friend to him. I slowly realized what I was doing, and I told him I couldn't be close friends anymore because I liked him. I told him I needed space from him. That's what you do because if they DID change their mind, THAT would be the moment they would speak up. But he didn't. That's how you know.
Been in something some what like this for around 7ish years... Its hard to wake up from the fantasy. And once you wake up, you miss the fantasy and the little things.
@@David-wo9unas is her right. He wants more, as a co renter, she don't owe him a romantic or sexual relationship. If anything, he's emotionally manipulative if she feels her living status or employment status is based on whether she "offers more" to the caller.
We Don't Attract The Wrong People We Accept The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What To Do To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Healing From A Breakup- Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker, The Gift Of Fear.
I hated people complaining about being in the friend zone, its icky as hell you aren't owed a romantic relationship. Friendship is about platonic closeness which can develop romantically in some cases but she is not a villain. What you can always control is what you can do. Walk away do not sit through building platonic closeness whilst you yearn for more. Because that's friendship and you can't do it. He described friendship for women. Stop walk away and hold your head high
I understand your point, however when the individual is seeing the other person suffer for what the relationship is not, they should care care enough about their friend to let him go. Obviously he is trapped and the more lucid individual, if she or he truly cares about the other one should free him and be able to find dissatisfaction in the relationship because of the other’s torture regardless of him or her being completely content. That would be loving them enough to let them go.
Just move TF on man. If she's not into you, stop trying. Even if there was a chance, desperation will make her even less attracted to you. Stop doing everything together with her, get some male friends and hang out with them instead. She knows you want her and never reciprocated.
Poor dude... he loves and respects her so much! I've been in her place, I thought 1 yr of relationship without romantic love was too much... 7 yrs?!? She loves you like a brother, and that CANNOT become romantic.
Distance yourself from her. Once you are in the friendzone with a woman, its nearly impossible to change her perspective. Does it happen occasionally? Yes, but its rare.
I think both aren't great. She has something off with her, as she can't be direct or is afraid of relationships as she too is living a celibate life. And 'not dating until she is 40' though likely a strange indirect rejection, could also show her weird mentality. Perhaps she is autistic, no joke. He is just living decades of his life on wishful thinking and not taking charge of what he wants, he in turn lives a celibate life.
Poor guy. Yeah this was obvious 3 minutes in when he said they do everything together for 7 years with nothing romantic... has a situation like that ever turned romantic in the history of the human race??
"She said NO...she said N.O." -Dr. John. You can't stay friends because you're breaking your own heart. Put up a boundary, and most importantly accept that she doesn't see you the same way. You need to MOVE ON. She is being clear and upfront with you and has been for years (you need to do the difficult work and accept the rejection gracefully). You are not being a kind or nice guy to her by holding out hope that she will change her mind, be the "kind guy" and listen to and accept her No. No is a complete sentence.
The crazy part is they've been living together for all these years😮. Dude if you're reading this move on and she needs to move out. She has the right to say no but you have the right to move on and that' starts with her finding somewhere else to go
One of the best pieces of advice my father ever gave me as a young woman was: If they wanted to, they would. This applies to not just men but women. In all types of relationships. I pay close attention to effort over words in my life. It also helps me examine my own actions or lack thereof.
Yes people dont act surprised when someone doesmt want you in a relationship. Think of the amount of people we see that we are not attracted to. Its normal to not fancy every ten people u meet. Also some people dont understand its hard for some to get partners because their presentation or attitude. Improve yourself to the max otherwise you could find someone and lose them, if you get anyone at all. Some people domt take care of themselves and have bad hygiene or are rude and nobody wants either. If you looked good people would want you and you would have options. If thats not you, fix your appearance.
My friend was in a similar situation, so she decided she had to cut the friendship (as she couldn’t not not have feeling for her male BFF). Her BFF was totally saying “friends zone” with her, even though they hung out together 24/7 like a married couple and got on REALLY well. After cutting the friendship, the male BFF discovered very quickly he couldn’t live without (he was absolutely devastated and grief ridden). That’s when he realised he totally had feelings for her/couldn’t live without her. They started seeing each other as boyfriend and girlfriend immediately… And haven’t looked back. Have been married for about 15yrs, and have two children (eldest just turned 13)… they couldn’t be happier. This caller needs to try the cut…. If they’re really acting like an inseparable, platonic couple, the separation may help his female friend realise she has stronger feeling/had been kind of taking him for granted without realising. Worth a shot. We (my friends and I) never expected our friends situation to work out the way it did…. We were all telling her in the kindest way “it’s friends zone”. Boy were we wrong (and so happy for them when we got the update!!).
There's a stunning lack of empathy in this comments section. Look at your own life's problems and ask yourself how you'd feel if you had random strangers calling you stupid and pathetic for confessing your deepest thoughts and desires, as misguided as they may be. Look in the mirror folks, y'all definitely got some blind spots too.
Do you say this on every comment section? Coz some people do stupid things. Its just the way it is. Nobody said they don't do stupid things themselves. Its just that we're all focused on the caller right now
They are both comfortable. She feels he is not ready, or she is not ready, He wants more.. and should go get it! He should not just hang on what she gives him, it might be awesome, but as a kind gal who has put a lot of guys into the friend zone for many reasons, they had drug problems, just could not get their life together ect.. He needs to move on, she will respect him more if he also veiws her as a friend and not just a frustration, I think it's silly The dr thinks she is the one who needs to change and drop him. He needs to stop chasing her Dr was right about that!!
She said no, she clearly is old enough to know what the results of saying no mean. Give her the best gift of missing you as you move on with your life man.
No woman who truly cares about him would live with him let alone do ' Life' with him knowing that she's torturing him with her close proximity and 'friendship' knowing his feelings. This arrangement works for her without any personle investment. He should have the dignify to cut his losses and move on.
what you have with her is NOT amazing, its predatory. you're trying to sneak into her bed so you've tolerated her crawling into every other area of your life. But the moment she said "no" you should have stopped giving her any of your time. no more friendship, period, and cut off all contact after she's moved out. If you EVER hope to have a woman in your life again, this one has to go. this friendship will haunt and defeat every new relationship you pursue.
This was SO GOOD! Blunt but respectful advice. “She said No.” He had to say it that way as that guy was fully stuck in his fantasy of her. I hope that man snaps out of it & gets rid. There’s no way he can find a woman that loves him without the ‘best friend’ still in his life 🤷🏾♀️
I laughed at the idea of a friend and I bring romantic for a year. I actively made it clear it wasn’t going to happen to him. And then it just happened and we fell in love and it’s been three years and he is the most beautiful relationship I ever had.
Dude is Living in LA LA LAND and he's gonna Continue to do so. He is NOT Ready Nor Willing to Drop this "Friendship' Because he is a Weak, Shell of a Man who has been fed the idea for 7 years that he is not worthy of being in a relationship with a amazing woman. He keeps making excuses for her and you can tell in his voice that he truly believes in those excuses, he even went so far as saying that he has been working on himself, NOT for the betterment of himself as a whole * But for him to be "More Attractive" in the hopes of her seeing what a Great Guy he is 🙄 I seriously roll my eyes so hard at that comment he made that I almost went Blind! Dude Needs a HARD, Slap in the Face of reality and it sounds like the only thing that is going to give him that is when she starts Dating someone intimately but until then, he is going to continue to be completely miserable on the inside and it's so sad, yet pathetic at the same time that it's maddening. Edit: I don't know what happened with this comment when I originally posted it but everything after the " * " was erased so I had to edit the comment and retype all it from that point on. 😒 Meh.
@@73angelD Yes, he is obsessed and yes, he has taking that kindness tell me more than it does. I will say though, that it is pretty messed up on her part to know how he feels and yet continue to live there and share a house with him . If she was such a good and amazing person like he says she is, she would have moved out a long time ago or not even moved into a place where someone is hopelessly in love with her. She is either #1 not attracted to him at all (but enjoys the "friendship"), #2 is damaged goods to the point where she really believes that she should wait until after she's 40 to date, And/Or #3 She's just using his Butt as her personal slave and he's just bending over and taking it. All 3 can be true, one more so than the other two but at the end of the day this dude is just a SIMP and is a Shell of a person.
There is a bright side to cutting off a relationship like this, even if he doesn’t see it now. It will open up new doors for self development and fulfillment.
I'm placing my bets on this woman being ACE. If she was serious and not just lying about dating when she is 40 to let the guy down gently, she might be like me and waiting for that drive for inimate and romatic connection to kick in every decade and then it never comes. But I've let guys that have shown interest in me in a romantic way, that its absolutely off the table. I'm simply not built that way and I respect if they want to walk away. You can't manipulate people into being your friends.
She wont cut ties with him because usually people in the friendzone provide resources. She will only cut ties once she's in a relationship. I'm shocked John advised him to remain friends with her.
There is no “we want to hold onto the magic” she told him there’s no magic. He’s gotta cut her outttt, he’s out here speaking for her and everything is a “we”. He’s gonna get destroyed.
I could never understand the woman wanting the feeling of a boyfriend without the romantic part. She's using him and has a deep fear of being alone with her own thoughts. She sounds like a bad person
No one owes anyone a relationship. Let go of what does not serve you well. They are merely roommates. No is a complete sentence - The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker We Don't Attract The Wrong People We Allow Them To Be In Our Lives-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞 What You Need To Do To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞 Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️ Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
@@dodgelandesman They both need to exit each other's lives. Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want you? Let go of what does not serve you well. John gave him a wakeup call and common sense advice.
you have to accept it, if you were in a relationship, you'd want her to *want* you. She's not a link to your Dad 😕. I'm listening, and whoah, she moved around the country with you and cooks with you and you're ''doing life together'' but she does not want to sleep with you. She's CERTAIN about that.
Choose people who choose you.
Amen.
As long as Miss Wrong is in the way, there is no room for Miss Right. Miss Right is never going to play 2nd fiddle to your buddy Miss Wrong. So you will end up alone when her Mr.Right comes along. Just keep telling yourself that. And someday she’s going to realize there’s no room for Mr. Right as long as Mr.Wrong is in the way. I think when you realize that you are just staying there hoping to become Mr. Right, you’re secretly hoping that you are blocking the way for some other Mr.Right. But that’s not reality. I’m a woman who had that man that I a loved very much but, I was not “in love with him.” He had 2 kids and it broke my heart and the kids’ hearts when I had to say to myself as much as I loved him, I was not “in love with him.” Rip off the bandaid. It’s going to hurt for awhile, but then the door will be open for Mrs.Right and you will look back and wonder why you waited for so long.
This!
I wanted to be friends with a guy I did not respect enough to consider romantically and one day he told me “we aren’t friends,” and I had to agree.
@ why would you want to be friends with someone you didn’t respect ?
He's gonna continue living with her until she finds the man she wants and then she'll move out. And he'll fall apart
Well I don’t know of any man that’ll be comfortable dating a woman living with a man maybe that’s just me lol
Exactly. My heart breaks for him.
@@kevindavis4709if your mindset is every guy she's in proximity to, she must have fked, that's dangerous mindset too. In fact, them living together without a sexual relationship is a sign she's emotionally strong, because she's not fking the nearest man every time she feels low.
Not date her but they will sleep with her and the poor guy will fall apart
@@kevindavis4709it’s not just you, there’s a lot of things people who don’t believe that friends can live together if they are opposite sex, but it happens
I disagree with John, this guy still can’t remain friends with her. He needs to walk away and never look back.
100%, you need a clean break
He doesn't have ANY self respect. He won't stand-up for what he wants. He has no son, he has no wife.
Agreed. If he ever does let go of hope and wishful thinking, there is no friendship.
Agree. You just can’t be friends with someone you have feelings for. You can be friendLY and walk away on good terms, but it needs to end.
The day she truly falls in love.
Her: See ya!
She’s been saying no for 7 years…
Yeah, she's been more than upfront with him.
@@MoonflowerSocietyyeah it sounds like she’s been pretty clear. And of course she doesn’t want to walk away from the friendship. She probably really likes being his friend. And that’s okay.
@@MoonflowerSociety
Exactly.
No is a complete sentence- The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker.
Her boundaries were clear from the beginning.
We don't owe anyone a relationship.
They both need to exit from each others lives. Let go of what does not serve you well.
We Don't Attract The Wrong People We Allow Them To Be In Our Lives-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Communicating With Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Why You Attract Avoidant Partners- Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
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Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
@@popermen694 It's not okay if she knows how he feels. That's selfish. If he can't cut ties, then she needs to.
He made a colossal mistake by having her move in, when she had no interest in him romantically. Now it won't be that easy to get her out.
She not into you. She loves the friendship but do not have a romantic interest in you
She loves the attention. He’s a simp
It's also his words that they have this 'great friendship', how he keeps speaking 'we' and that they have these 'magic thing together'. He's got this whole imaginary relationship, it sounds like an obsession. I wonder what's her perspective, wouldn't be surprised if it was 'he's an ok roommate/landlord and the rent is decent'.
No is a complete sentence - The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Let go of what does not serve you well.
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Communicating With Avoidant Attachers - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
What You Need To Do In Order To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Relationship - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Duh. :P
@@joane24 she was there during his difficult times, so she sees him as a friend only. He's 100 % made this dynamic difficult for her.
He is so deep in the friend zone. Ain’t no way out.
and he's weak too
@@brownman248 Roommate zone.
There’s no such thing as a friendzone. You’re either friends, dating, or neither.
@@mayathedreamgirl1357 how is he supposed to date someone else if she’s there everyday?
@@xro1983 And why would that be a problem, logistically? People with shared apartments with roommates date all the time. From what he said, it's quite a big of a house in his case. But he obviously wouldn't date anyone because he's emotionally caught up in this fantasy relationship with her.
People need to learn, if you love someone it doesn't mean they love you back. Your feelings are your feelings, not their feelings. Don't be a fool
This. Those who put the blame on her are the first people to put the blame on a woman if the guy says up front "I'm not looking for a relationship"
He's a blue pill religious dude, he's projecting his feelings onto her thinking she feels the same way but doesn't know it yet, he's just delusional and naive to female nature.
@@GaboH-h7s Bingo! Exactly.
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
We Don't Attract The Wrong People We Allow Them To Be In Our Lives- Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Why You Attract Avoidant Partners- Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Communicating With Avoidant Attachers Ken Reid podcast 🌞
What To Do To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Healing From A Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Your Past Relationships Explained -Sam Vaknin podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Let go of what does not serve you well.
8 Dates by John and Julie Gottman defines the blueprint of healthy relationships. It clarifies.
Are You The One For Me Knowing Who Is Right And Who Is Wrong by Barbara De Angelis
The 7 Principles For Making Marriage Work by John Gottman and Nan Silver
Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix-IMAGO
Wired For Love by Dr Stan Tatkin -attachment styles
Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It! by Kamal Ravikant ❤️
Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters
The Language Of Emotions by Karla McLaren
Boundaries by Henry Cloud
Safe People by Henry Cloud
Non Violent Communication by Marshall B Rosenberg
Dr Deloney got this wrong. He needs to ask her to move out, and cut all ties with her. He needs to grieve her and start dating. Keeping her in his life, will keep him stuck on her.
Couldn’t have said it better myself
Oh ya he addicted 😂
I've been there, trying to be neutral when you love and they can't...doesn't work.
Let me put it straight: She is not physically, sexually, spiritually or emotionally attracted to you. She does not want to lay down with you. She will never open her body to you. She just is not in to you that way. You don’t spark her fancy.
yeah i thought the same thing
No woman will have him being hung up on the "friend". He needs to leave her completely.
Exactly. This is a huge red flag that women (and men, too, the genders do occasionally reverse here) tend to look for early in a relationship. Any woman with good sense would see through him and nope out of that relationship pretty quickly.
I respect women so much for telling me there are not interested early on rather then just ghosting me.
This guy needs to walk away and never look back. Start making the right moves in silence and be ready to disengage and disassociate. It may take a few weeks, but stay focused. When you finally leave, you can give her a final goodbye (with maybe an explanation), or you can just completely ghost her. Whether she notices you gone is on her, not you. When you leave, ensure you never get pulled back into her orbit, so block her on everything.
This guys uncomfortable laugh is giving me anxiety “she told me she doesn’t feel any spark but then I told her we do life so well together hahahaha” bruh
He's not a mystery to her so therefore no tingles and excitement from her, women love the tingles they get from an unknown man.
@@TonyCox1351 Totally.
@@Ja50nkAtnope, I personally love that from a man I know almost as well as myself, who I’ve seen experience every level of human emotion, from low to high, and who I choose to keep loving every day for the rest of our lifetimes
@@Ja50nkAtI would f’n hate dating a stranger 😂
@@Ja50nkAtnah this isn’t true. Sometimes it is but, just like anyone else, there are many different types of women. A lot of women I know fall more in love with people the more they get to know them.
It just is what it is. She has no obligation to love him. And she probably never has. And that’s okay.
He’s not going to make any changes. Didn’t hear a word.
Oh he heard it, he just didn't like it, so he'll stick to his own narrative of things.
he's too weak and that will hurt him in the end for not putting his foot down
This guy might end up on a different type of show some day.
Totally this part...he'll keep living in his fantasy world
@@temposhop8739 lmfaooo
I wish Dr. Deloney had said when she gets to be 40 it’s still not going to be you
I was waiting for that. I’ll date when I’m 40 means she has no desire for him or possibly anyone (may be gay or asexual)
@@randyadams1312 na she just doesn't fancy him
Cruel ☠️ but true 😂
That brought back memories. I kinda have some of the same thing when I was in high school i was a fool and exposed myself to such a humiliating feeling, let your heart unguarded it's only my mistake and I paid for it, love from one side.. that girl was kind of calm kind beautiful friendly with people she knows and smh shy and reserve whatever she told me one day that she won't be with anyone to not hurt me 😂 I find that even more pathetic, I told her your free to do whatever you want with your life, it's not my concern.
Or she'll meet someone before 40, bring them home and he'll be a cuck.
Dear caller,
You sound like a kind man. It may seem hopeless, but there's another woman out there who will love you back. Grieve the loss of the future you thought you would have with your best friend. Then, open yourself up to someone else. I hope a year or so from now, you're calling in to tell us about your beautiful wife who is head over heels in love with you. You deserve that ❤️.
Dear caller, don’t waste your time and your life. Find value and happiness doing the things you want, if people are there
- cool, if not - oh well. Life is short don’t waste it trying to make something work with someone who isn’t all in.
This guy needs to walk away and never look back. Start making the right moves in silence and be ready to disengage and disassociate. It may take a few weeks, but stay focused. When you finally leave, you can give her a final goodbye (with maybe an explanation), or you can just completely ghost her. Whether she notices you gone is on her, not you. When you leave, ensure you never get pulled back into her orbit, so block her on everything.
My man is trying to logically figure out her emotions.
If she was attracted to him, she’d want him.
@BugsyBologna right. The woman isn't using any logic at all. Because if she did she'd realize how selfish she is, leave and seek professional help
He’s going to go insane when she gets a boyfriend. There is no way they will be able to stay friends.
This guy needs to walk away and never look back. Start making the right moves in silence and be ready to disengage and disassociate. It may take a few weeks, but stay focused. When you finally leave, you can give her a final goodbye (with maybe an explanation), or you can just completely ghost her. Whether she notices you gone is on her, not you. When you leave, ensure you never get pulled back into her orbit, so block her on everything.
He’s clearly obsessed with her and the idea 💡 of life with her. But she ain’t seeing none of that. He’s caught up in making excuses for her. she’s definitely living her best life. Poor guy!! 🥲
@@Sophi25444 poor her. She's been a friend, she's paying her rent. It's him who is making her uncomfortable. Guaranteed she said the no dating till 40, to discourage him. She hasn't led him on, he's built a fantasy in his head.
He's doing it to himself.
You're not trapped bro, you can free yourself at any time.
I've been in this friendship, as a woman who met my best friend in a season of trauma and fell in love with him. We did everything together, short of living and sleeping together. We were both single for most of a decade of friendship until he found someone and completely ghosted me and abandoned our friendship, in an instant with no explanation. When they broke up he reappeared and we are still rebuilding some kind of friendship, but with many more boundaries.
Guard your heart friends. Don't hold out for someone who has told you they don't want you.
I don't think you should have let him back in.
Why are you letting a man who left you back into your life? Follow your own advice, guard your own heart.
Appreciate your concern, friends. To be clear...we do not have anything approaching a robust friendship at this point, a year later. We act kind of like acquaintances. I don't think there is reason to expect more. But you are correct...I am not great at following my own advice...
She said no. You didn't and still don't hear it!
But she wont cut him off.. and we both know why
@@Jeremy-wp4yhwhy do you think she won't let him go? 🤔
She doesn't have romantic feelings for him, though she values him as a friend. It's just the way it is. Women can't force feelings they don't have.
No one can😂
Fine, then move out. What the heck is she doing living with him?
She’s a user and she’s playing him for a schmuck. Women like you are ok with this.
@@xro1983 that would be the case if she was paying nothing and offering a potential relationship. But she isn't. She's paying half the rent and is actually being a friend. The thing he's pretending to be
She doesn’t value him as a friend. She knows how he feels and she’s content to let him stay in misery. She values the things she’s getting from him without having to commit.
She’s doesn’t find you attractive!
As is her right.
@@philwill0123no one said it wasn’t simp
@@philwill0123its his right to kick her out
@@pswizzle6616???
@@philwill0123 yeah but why use that to get all the benefits of a husband without having to do any wifely duties
Johns advice for her to move out but for them to remain close friends is a death trap for this man.
He does not have the capacity to do that. He will be stuck in the same spot emotionaly and spiritualy.
They both need a clean break that allows them to reset tbere lifes and allows new people into it.
It will also make it hard for him to date if she’s in the picture. It’s very easy to tell when someone has feelings for their “best friend.” A lot of good women will see that and not want to be part of that drama.
@cheeseball5573 🎯
@cheeseball5573 100% as someone who was that "other woman." I could see how invested he was with his best friend...how much he prioritized her over me.....addressing it with him and he was in complete denial. Having enough self respect to leave, you just gotta leave that 💩 alone because no one can enter a relationship on either side (the guy or girl) and not have an issue with it. People will call it insecurity, but until you're in it, it's called healthy boundaries and self-respect.
To be honest with you, I don’t know any man out there that will date a woman that has a roommate that is a male not going to work.
@@kevindavis4709if she was fking him or did in the past, no. If she never has, I would take that as a sign she doesn't fk the nearest man, especially after 7 years.
I won't start dating until I am 60 and right now I'm only 23. That means I get to use this great excuse for many years to come! This is genius!
Why 60
Sad part with women is not easy for them once they get 40 pretty much it. Us men age like fine wine, women age, like spoiled milk that’s why women need too choose their man wisely in their 20’s instead of settling for the good man provider in her 40s.
@@kevindavis4709😅😅😅 men age like fine wine ?! Where? Y'all are balding, have beer bellies and look way older than your age 😂 funny joke there, as women age were just not settling for emotionally unintelligent men anymore and we'd rather remain single and men hate that cuz they can't stand to be alone, y'all want a mommy to do everything for you, men dont see women as people, only objects, for our body and what we can do for them... Take a seat sir with your ridiculous comment
@@tommysmith2719 😂 This went over your head.
@@kevindavis4709this rhetoric is really ill. Men suffer from many aging complications which include erectile dysfunction, colon cancer, prostate cancer, heart conditions, high blood pressure and cholesterol, plus other aging diseases, such as Parkinson’s and Alzheimer’s. Older Men also have a probability of creating offspring with conditions like Asperger’s due to their older age. You do not have to degrade women to make yourself feel better because none of that is true.
Dr John is so fortunate to have real, longstanding friendships. Many people don't have even 1 halfway decent friend.
True!
Is it good fortune, though? Or is it that he goes through life and hangs on to the mutually rewarding relationships that happen along the way?
I'm an introvert, and I have friends in my life from high school and more recently. If none of the people in your life are capable of being a halfway decent friend, something is wrong somewhere.
It takes work.
@@heidim7732 False. You can keep running into not so great people.
@@heidim7732 Who said I was talking about myself?
I think when he starts dating, it will all become crystal clear. JOHN said it perfectly- a real friend would see that you haven’t moved on and would’ve given you the space/push to do what was best for you. When he sets the friend boundary on his side he will find out how much of a friend she truly is, and she will clarify what her deal is. I am glad John spoke about having to deal with his grief about the reality of the situation, because yeah, that is going to happen.
Appreciate this perspective. Very rational, kind, and fair.
It's also his words that they have this 'great friendship', how he keeps speaking 'we' and that they have these 'magic thing together'. He's got this whole imaginary relationship, it sounds like an obsession. I wonder what's her perspective, wouldn't be surprised if it was 'he's an ok roommate/landlord, and the rent is decent'.
He's backed himself into a corner. So it will be very hard for him to date someone else. I'm not sure he has the will power to completely cut her out of his life, and he needs to do that.
She views him as a friend which is perfectly fine. It's also OK for her to not want to date until she's 40. She was honest about her wants and boundaries. He is the one who chose to continue to the relationship/friendship knowing it was unrequited. I say this from personal experience. I had a major crush on a dude who was completely honest that he only wanted to be my friend. I CHOSE to keep in touch with him against my better judgment. I SHOULD have walked away. I do not blame him. I can only take accountability for my actions. Sure, he could have let me go knowing I was in a one sided crush. But that is not his cross to bear. I had to gather the strength to draw the line and honor myself and my values. 🤷🏾♀️
The not date until she is 40 is just an excuse. She just does not like that guy as a man
@master_carlos possibly. But since none of us know her, it's just an assumption. 😃
@@ViolinfanaticOriginal Sure we haven't met her, and have only the caller's word for it, but you know, it's not rocket science, you don't need to make 'assumptions': not dating till 40 is not a thing. It's - more than obviously - an excuse.
I think she said she won't date until 40, because she wanted the free validation in the meantime from him until 40. I'm not sure she specifically said she would never date him. When she reaches 40, then she'll come up with another excuse.
@joane24 you could certainly be right, but once again, speculation. And it is totally a thing. There are people who are celibate, asexual, lesbians, etc... I am one of those people who said I would not start dating until my 30s. I am now in my 30s, and still don't want to date. I probably never will. After so many years, it gets harder to make the leap into dating and relationships because single life is just so peaceful. Lol At this age, I can't even imagine having to share my space with someone. 🤷🏾♀️ There is a whole movement of men and women who think this way. Single for life or waiting until an older age.
She said I’ll date when I’m 40 sounds like she’s younger and he’s older and she let him down easy
That's a new one! Women are conditioned NOT to hurt people's feelings, and it sounds like this is one of those instances. Or she's a lesbian afraid to come out due to her religious or family background.
1000%
100%. She used that as an excuse so he won't keep asking.
He’s been in this situation for 7 years and living with her for 5. The only way this ends is with her eventually getting bored and leaving him and the friendship behind. It’s never going to go the way he wants
This ends with
A) him being creepy and her leaving
B) him pretending to be her friend until she finds a partner, and him getting jealous
C) him doing another hail mary "I love you", and her being weirded out.
D) him being honest and saying, "I can't live with you because I want a relationship, so best you leave".
Ultimately he has to use option D, because the first 3 leave him with little dignity.
@philwill0123 I agree! He needs to cut his losses now. He needs to grow a pair and realise that he is creating a world of hurt for himself. She gets everything she wants from this ' friendship', while he waits and pines for her. Letting her leave is the only answer if he has any form of dignity.
It’s not a friendship. She treats him like a brother. He’s her big brother. He has 7years of ‘oneitis’ to overcome. He needs serious reprogramming.
Best thing he could do is sell his house and move close to his son and build a relationship with him without his friend tagging along
It's much easier to be in love with someone who doesn't want you. There's no risk, and no reward.
The hard thing is to be in a relationship. He's hiding from responsibility.
so true people don't see this and use it as an excuse to never do the hard work or take accountability.
salient point. I wish John knew how to make such an observation
Yes! Similar emotional dynamic to women who decide to date/marry men who are incarcerated for life in prison.
Agreed. Both have intimacy issues
Bingo!
He dont love her, he love the idea of her
So what would it look like if he loved her?
@@usssanjacinto1 Not putting her up on this crazy pedestal and thinking certain signs mean she is 'the one' for him. It would look like him seeing who she is as a person, flaws and all, and loving her anyway
And she likes the idea of having a husband without putting in any work on her side
@@R_S747Do you have any idea how stupid that sounds?
@@user-qp2qe5gf9bshe pays her fair share of rent, aren’t you listening. Are Women not allowed to have Roomates?
I had a “friend” like this. He couldn’t get a woman if it killed him. He grossed me out physically and there was below zero chemistry. This guy doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell with her.
From my experience those were actually really entitled self-proclaimed nice guys that gave off the vibe they weren’t being genuine.
Bingo
Maybe help him then? Encourage him to improve his hygiene and fitness, etc etc.
@@alwaysyouramanda 100%, those kinds of men are snakes and liars.
@@BENR8108 This is another reason why men don't want to be in the friendzone, this is what she really thinks of her "friend". This is why I lmao at guys who are like: "You need female friends to get girls". Women definitely KNOW when you're friend zoned you're not even fooling most men.
This one is the most underrated topic (phone call) in the love-field ever. John is out of his depth dealing with this FANTASY.
John made it clear, this guy is living in fantasy land..
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Informative video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Eat the sandwich and forget about her son!!!!
The fact that she moved states with him is wild, plus having your prior relationship where she leaves with his child has to be devastating
@@blakeharrison3972 Perhaps that previous woman had a good reason to leave. As we can see in this call, the guy is delusional and obsessive, and doesn't take no for an answer. He knows this current woman friend is not interested in him, but he doesn't like that answer, so he continues on his fantasy.
@@joane24 Yes. No one owes anyone a relationship.
No is a complete sentence - The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
Her decision, stop wanting to change her! Remember that old saying about "let them go" ?
Yes. Let go of what does not serve you.
Heartbreaking 😢He's not accepting the reality.
This is not her problem. She has made it clear with him but he’s still holding on to the idea of them being romantically together. Do not punish her just bc she does not feel the same way and still wants to remain friends.
The problem is she’s still living with him, and she knows how he feels about her. He’s clearly naive, and she takes advantage of it, that’s not exactly a good person. Think if the shoe was on the other foot.
@@tonytoni1150 How does she "take advantage"..we'll wait
@@tonytoni1150it's on him to tell her to leave. She was honest with him, and he's the guy who is lying about his feelings pretending to be her friend, to stay close her. She doesn't owe him any relationship beyond friendship, and she shouldn't have to move because he can't react appropriately.
@Tsukibi20 because she lives with him...half the rent, half the bills..if she even pays for them...sounds like she is having her cake and eating it too.....she saves a lot of money living with him I'm sure....just my speculation
@joyreep6834 hmm did she ask to live with him? Or did he ask her? Roommate means she's paying so he's benefiting too especially in this economy
Dude sounds WAY too intense. I feel like that's the real reason for the "not dating till 40" comment.
I'd just tell him "dude, I don't like you, you're too needy and intense and it makes my skin crawl."
Men need to be told coldly like that or they don't stop. Be cruel to be kind, ladies. 😎
Basically she's not physically attracted to him. She feels no spark but she likes the security and comfort of having a masculine presence. He will have to move on from her, heal and cut off communication. Or else he'll always have that hope and miss out on a woman that really wants him.
Move on, Rick. She is a lovely friend, but that is all. Women have these kind of friendships with each other. Nothing is more cringy than a woman saying, "I won't be dating for 15 years" and him saying, "I'll wait."
@@geieffect Yeah that's weird and creepy. Anyone waiting that long for a specific person, basically devotes their life to FANTASY, not a real person.
The only exception I can see if your spouse was said to be lost at war but you wait against all hope, and he comes back. Not sure I've heard about any real cases like that outside movie theater though.
Women don't care about men being clingy, it's about the man not respecting her disinterest in a romantic relationship
@Trinidadianlove I meant "cringy" spell check.
This is what they mean when they say nice guys finish last. You put yourself in the friend zone, by not making a move early on. As soon as you have interest, make a move, & move on if she says no. I had a lot of guy friends before I met my husband. I could have seen myself married to any of them, but none asked. They carried on as if we were friends & showed zero interest, until the second my now husband asked me out. Then suddenly, I was a terrible person for not dating them. Just ask & move on.
Shes been saying "No" for years...more like Men not happy after the no and thinking they can change the girls mind...see cleared that up for you😂😂😂
@@user-qp2qe5gf9b Except he's not a nice guy meaning a good, kind guy. His a 'nice guy' meaning the negative stereotype. He's creeping and obsessing over her, and trying to act nice in hopes of getting romantic interest in return, as a prize for good behavior. That's creepiness, not kindness.
@@joane24 I actually disagree in this situation. Yes a lot of "nice guys" are creepy but I don't think he particularly is. Yes he's obsessed, but I think it makes sense because he's attracted to her and they have chemistry and have spent so much time together. I only think it's creepy when you're obsessing over a chick that you don't even know, and it's only driven by physical attraction. He clearly knows her well, and they have a genuine bond. I do think he's genuinely nice, I just don't think he's masculine(which is HUGE to women romantically). Just listening through the phone, he's giving off major "gay best friend" vibes.
@@marcusj5135what even is this? Of course you can be creepy to someone you know. Statistically, women are most in danger of the men in their homes or an ex.
Learned this long ago, if you are interested in someone you MUST act quickly. If you don't, you will land in the zone, never to escape. If you are on a date, the first real date, hold hands, get the smooch at the end. Anything less or refused and it ends right there. If she is meant for you and is interested, it flows easily. Drama and games and problems mean it's time to move on.
That's insane, wasting 7 years like that... this is when you need a close friend to slap you back into reality so you only waste a few weeks not years
how do people think this is normal
It is still more comfortable than being totally alone and it happened gratually like slowly so you did get used to it. Why are ppl in long distance relationships ? They are still connected on an emotional level. I wonder if he is not her type so she can't get herself to sleep with him But many ppl would be happy to have someone they can share fun stuff with . its sometimes the oposite where the couple only sleep together and then kind of lives like some strangers in the home . Some studies evne said couples talk like new sentence with each other and mostly it is just what do we eat together
Being desperate, and also what man will date a woman staying with a man she says is a roommate I would not do that.
@@kevindavis4709 and vice versa imagine going to your boyfriend's home and seeing a lady roomate (likely younger than him from what he said) AND then you find out he's wanted her for 7yrs lmao nope
Weird AF
@@VV-er3zgthey’ll flip me out for sure I don’t know what the heck these two were thinking.
went through a season of this. you gotta, you GOTTA run away and choose to let that idol go. your idol is the idea of being with her but i will tell you the classic most true quote ever “if she wanted to be with you she would.” or she would make the effort to be with you. when people tell you about themselves, especially if she says she doesn’t want to date. believe her and have some integrity and dignity to walk away. it’s soo incredibly hard but man, freedom to see that God has someone who will treat you right and not only reciprocate but desire to be with you and make it apparent.
she said no. walk away. nothing is more powerful than to walk away even though it hurts so bad.
I pray this dude wakes up, God had to wake me up and i am so grateful that my time was limited than dragging it out over years and years. it’s so hard bro but do it, find some homies(men) who will drag you out and keep you accountable until things change.
lastly, things won’t change unless something changes. blessing bro
Amen. 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
I was in this exact situation with my current wife about 10 years ago. She had me squarely in the friend zone and I made it clear the way I felt about her, I told her I would be happy to still stick around but that I loved her for who she was and that I wanted more between us. She would regularly ask after the fact if I was still having those feelings and my answer was always yes. I loved her and let her go when she moved away, but 2 years later, she came back to me, and we've been together for a decade now.
He will end up on dateline when he finds out she’s been seeing other men the entire time.
'salt lake is the big city with a smal town feel. until 1 nite when that tranquility was shattered ...' 🙂
@@rvog6584🤣💀
There definitely was a weird vibe here, but it sounds to me like their lives are way too linked for her to even have time to be dating on the side without him knowing.
Not at all. She might phrase extended time away as "a work conference" or something to that nature, then she has the opportunity to avoid him for a couple days. Based on how this guy sounds I can picture him believing her 100 percent.
isn't that extreme
She's just not into him ..she's put him in the friend zone ...GOD BLESS FROM THE REPUBLIC OF IRELAND 🇮🇪 🙏
Having a wonderful friendship doesn't automatically mean that a romantic relationship will have the same spark. He needs to get back to reality and move on.
Yes if she sees you as a friend move on love her as a friend find someone who loves you for you
Just like you can't force her to be attracted to him, you can't force him to see her as just a friend. It's really best to cut ties and move on to people you have genuine and mutual platonic/romantic relationships. It's ok to end friendships
In like, 99% of these scenarios, you don’t actually “love” this person. You probably just want to sleep with them and are conflating lust with love
I was this crazy over a chick that didn’t feel the same way about me for a long time …….Accepting the truth is so hard, and I really hope this brother can make it to the other side ❤️💯
Same here. I eventually won her over and got into the most toxic relationship of my life. 5 1/2 years I’ll never get back. I wish I could tell my younger self not to be a simp.
@ I’m sorry about that bro ! I thought you had a happy ending for a min ! I literally was just in this situation a few months ago …. I had to block her on everything so I can try to move on.
@@MagicalFishyor IDK just be friends with the person who had just wanted to be your friend 🤷🏽♀️
@@amethystmoonchild6568 I was 15 and she would occasionally lead me on. Man, why y’all ladies have to be so toxic about it? I wasn’t pushy or anything, just doing exactly what y’all tell us to do. “Chase and pursue the woman.” Worst advice of my life. I broke up with her after knowing it was extremely toxic (SHE was abusive, not me). My girlfriend these days is extremely beautiful both in and out, and she literally does too much for me and shows me that she cares. She is amazing. Don’t invest time and energy into someone who just uses you.
@@Itsjrob_ I’m sorry to hear about your situation too bro. Keep your head up and don’t forget that you did he right thing, saved yourself a lifetime of pain.
I think we all know someone that has a great love story that started this way, so we keep hope alive that they will change their mind. But that couple we know is the EXCEPTION to the rule. And a rare exception. I had a guy friend like this that wasn't into me, but I hoped he would change his mind so I continued to be a close friend to him. I slowly realized what I was doing, and I told him I couldn't be close friends anymore because I liked him. I told him I needed space from him. That's what you do because if they DID change their mind, THAT would be the moment they would speak up. But he didn't. That's how you know.
This situation is so unhealthy. They need to move away from each other and get A LOT OF therapy and become healthy - separately.
Been in something some what like this for around 7ish years...
Its hard to wake up from the fantasy.
And once you wake up, you miss the fantasy and the little things.
Ex Can’t jump states with his kid 🤦♀️🤔
She clearly friend zoned him
Not dating til 40😂
He is delusional
He needs reality check
Bet she’s hooking up!
@@David-wo9unas is her right. He wants more, as a co renter, she don't owe him a romantic or sexual relationship. If anything, he's emotionally manipulative if she feels her living status or employment status is based on whether she "offers more" to the caller.
We Don't Attract The Wrong People We Accept The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
What To Do To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Healing From A Breakup- Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
No is a complete sentence - Gavin De Becker, The Gift Of Fear.
@@philwill0123 Yes. No one owes anyone a relationship.
I hated people complaining about being in the friend zone, its icky as hell you aren't owed a romantic relationship. Friendship is about platonic closeness which can develop romantically in some cases but she is not a villain. What you can always control is what you can do. Walk away do not sit through building platonic closeness whilst you yearn for more. Because that's friendship and you can't do it. He described friendship for women. Stop walk away and hold your head high
I understand your point, however when the individual is seeing the other person suffer for what the relationship is not, they should care care enough about their friend to let him go. Obviously he is trapped and the more lucid individual, if she or he truly cares about the other one should free him and be able to find dissatisfaction in the relationship because of the other’s torture regardless of him or her being completely content. That would be loving them enough to let them go.
To be fair she could've told him that hey I don't really like you or like not spend so much time with him if she didn't like him
Just move TF on man. If she's not into you, stop trying. Even if there was a chance, desperation will make her even less attracted to you. Stop doing everything together with her, get some male friends and hang out with them instead. She knows you want her and never reciprocated.
The callers laugh is so contagious!
The simp friend zone laugh
...like a bad case of the flu 👎
Poor dude... he loves and respects her so much!
I've been in her place, I thought 1 yr of relationship without romantic love was too much... 7 yrs?!?
She loves you like a brother, and that CANNOT become romantic.
Distance yourself from her. Once you are in the friendzone with a woman, its nearly impossible to change her perspective. Does it happen occasionally? Yes, but its rare.
He’s putting her on a pedestal
This dude is delusional. That chick is taking advantage of him.
Yep it's really pathetic
I think both aren't great. She has something off with her, as she can't be direct or is afraid of relationships as she too is living a celibate life. And 'not dating until she is 40' though likely a strange indirect rejection, could also show her weird mentality. Perhaps she is autistic, no joke. He is just living decades of his life on wishful thinking and not taking charge of what he wants, he in turn lives a celibate life.
Seven years and he's still hoping. 😮
Poor guy. Yeah this was obvious 3 minutes in when he said they do everything together for 7 years with nothing romantic... has a situation like that ever turned romantic in the history of the human race??
how? She pays full rent and listen to HIS Problems
The sad part about this is soon as he moves on and will see what she’s lost and it will be too late because once you’re out you’re outtttt
Treat her like a celebrity and she will see you as a fan.
"She said NO...she said N.O." -Dr. John. You can't stay friends because you're breaking your own heart. Put up a boundary, and most importantly accept that she doesn't see you the same way. You need to MOVE ON. She is being clear and upfront with you and has been for years (you need to do the difficult work and accept the rejection gracefully). You are not being a kind or nice guy to her by holding out hope that she will change her mind, be the "kind guy" and listen to and accept her No. No is a complete sentence.
She only wants a friendship. Move on and find a life partner.
I’ve had this before with friends…it doesn’t work. Leave and move on, you will thank yourself in the future.
The crazy part is they've been living together for all these years😮. Dude if you're reading this move on and she needs to move out. She has the right to say no but you have the right to move on and that' starts with her finding somewhere else to go
She is keeping him on the back burner long term.
No. She genuinely not interested. If she was interested, the opportunities were there.
One of the best pieces of advice my father ever gave me as a young woman was: If they wanted to, they would.
This applies to not just men but women. In all types of relationships. I pay close attention to effort over words in my life. It also helps me examine my own actions or lack thereof.
This was a great call. This guy seems legit. John is amazing!
Pull the plug, bro! Quit simping. Man up and cut your losses. There’s a good woman out there for you who will love you in a healthy, Godly way.
I can hear him trying to explain and excuse her behavior. Poor guy.
So true. This isn't avoiding drama. I've been there. HOPI|NG somebody would see me like a partner but they just DONT
Wow, everytime he laughed about his own Story, you can hear the pain in his soul.
Great show! Greetings from Germany!
Yes people dont act surprised when someone doesmt want you in a relationship. Think of the amount of people we see that we are not attracted to. Its normal to not fancy every ten people u meet. Also some people dont understand its hard for some to get partners because their presentation or attitude. Improve yourself to the max otherwise you could find someone and lose them, if you get anyone at all. Some people domt take care of themselves and have bad hygiene or are rude and nobody wants either. If you looked good people would want you and you would have options. If thats not you, fix your appearance.
This guy doesn’t realize that she doesn’t value him at all. He thinks she’s stuck on him too. He needs to cut this off now.
Dumb and Dumber
Lloyd : So you're telling me there's a chance...
My friend was in a similar situation, so she decided she had to cut the friendship (as she couldn’t not not have feeling for her male BFF). Her BFF was totally saying “friends zone” with her, even though they hung out together 24/7 like a married couple and got on REALLY well. After cutting the friendship, the male BFF discovered very quickly he couldn’t live without (he was absolutely devastated and grief ridden). That’s when he realised he totally had feelings for her/couldn’t live without her. They started seeing each other as boyfriend and girlfriend immediately… And haven’t looked back. Have been married for about 15yrs, and have two children (eldest just turned 13)… they couldn’t be happier. This caller needs to try the cut…. If they’re really acting like an inseparable, platonic couple, the separation may help his female friend realise she has stronger feeling/had been kind of taking him for granted without realising. Worth a shot. We (my friends and I) never expected our friends situation to work out the way it did…. We were all telling her in the kindest way “it’s friends zone”. Boy were we wrong (and so happy for them when we got the update!!).
There's a stunning lack of empathy in this comments section. Look at your own life's problems and ask yourself how you'd feel if you had random strangers calling you stupid and pathetic for confessing your deepest thoughts and desires, as misguided as they may be. Look in the mirror folks, y'all definitely got some blind spots too.
If they lacked empathy, they would not watch this show and definitely would never comment at all.
@hadenanderson563 I don't think you need empathy to watch a YT video and comment on it, I'm not seeing a connection here.
Do you say this on every comment section? Coz some people do stupid things. Its just the way it is. Nobody said they don't do stupid things themselves. Its just that we're all focused on the caller right now
I'd hope people would point out my blind spot so I could reconsider not feed the delulu
tbf, if your deepest thoughts and desires actually are stupid and pathetic then it doesnt really matter how you "feel" about the comments.
"You keep burying a part of yourself in order to keep proximity to this fantasy." Story of my life!! Thank you!
They are both comfortable. She feels he is not ready, or she is not ready, He wants more.. and should go get it! He should not just hang on what she gives him, it might be awesome, but as a kind gal who has put a lot of guys into the friend zone for many reasons, they had drug problems, just could not get their life together ect.. He needs to move on, she will respect him more if he also veiws her as a friend and not just a frustration, I think it's silly The dr thinks she is the one who needs to change and drop him. He needs to stop chasing her Dr was right about that!!
She said no, she clearly is old enough to know what the results of saying no mean. Give her the best gift of missing you as you move on with your life man.
No woman who truly cares about him would live with him let alone do ' Life' with him knowing that she's torturing him with her close proximity and 'friendship' knowing his feelings. This arrangement works for her without any personle investment. He should have the dignify to cut his losses and move on.
Yes shes not being fair or ethical
Well, she's getting the milk for free. All the husband stuff without having to put out. It's pathetic on his part.
I’d love to hear the follow-up for this one.
I'm shocked he said to stay friends with her..
Right that's probably a huge reason he's in this mess how much you wanna bet she gives subtle hints And gaslights there could potentially be more
what you have with her is NOT amazing, its predatory. you're trying to sneak into her bed so you've tolerated her crawling into every other area of your life. But the moment she said "no" you should have stopped giving her any of your time.
no more friendship, period, and cut off all contact after she's moved out. If you EVER hope to have a woman in your life again, this one has to go. this friendship will haunt and defeat every new relationship you pursue.
This was SO GOOD! Blunt but respectful advice. “She said No.” He had to say it that way as that guy was fully stuck in his fantasy of her.
I hope that man snaps out of it & gets rid. There’s no way he can find a woman that loves him without the ‘best friend’ still in his life 🤷🏾♀️
This is a whole new level of being friend zoned, wow.
You got what i neeeed but you say im just a friend
Did the caller mention the woman’s name by any chance?
Yes you say I’m just a friend…oh baby YOUUUUU
@@JerseyDevilJerseyGirlI can almost hear you singing 😄
I laughed at the idea of a friend and I bring romantic for a year. I actively made it clear it wasn’t going to happen to him. And then it just happened and we fell in love and it’s been three years and he is the most beautiful relationship I ever had.
Lol..ok
Dude is Living in LA LA LAND and he's gonna Continue to do so. He is NOT Ready Nor Willing to Drop this "Friendship' Because he is a Weak, Shell of a Man who has been fed the idea for 7 years that he is not worthy of being in a relationship with a amazing woman. He keeps making excuses for her and you can tell in his voice that he truly believes in those excuses, he even went so far as saying that he has been working on himself, NOT for the betterment of himself as a whole
* But for him to be "More Attractive" in the hopes of her seeing what a Great Guy he is 🙄 I seriously roll my eyes so hard at that comment he made that I almost went Blind!
Dude Needs a HARD, Slap in the Face of reality and it sounds like the only thing that is going to give him that is when she starts Dating someone intimately but until then, he is going to continue to be completely miserable on the inside and it's so sad, yet pathetic at the same time that it's maddening.
Edit: I don't know what happened with this comment when I originally posted it but everything after the " * " was erased so I had to edit the comment and retype all it from that point on. 😒 Meh.
He's OBSESSED with her.... She's tried being nice about it and she's kind to him. He takes that kindness to mean more than it does.
@@73angelD Yes, he is obsessed and yes, he has taking that kindness tell me more than it does.
I will say though, that it is pretty messed up on her part to know how he feels and yet continue to live there and share a house with him . If she was such a good and amazing person like he says she is, she would have moved out a long time ago or not even moved into a place where someone is hopelessly in love with her.
She is either #1 not attracted to him at all (but enjoys the "friendship"), #2 is damaged goods to the point where she really believes that she should wait until after she's 40 to date, And/Or #3 She's just using his Butt as her personal slave and he's just bending over and taking it.
All 3 can be true, one more so than the other two but at the end of the day this dude is just a SIMP and is a Shell of a person.
There is a bright side to cutting off a relationship like this, even if he doesn’t see it now. It will open up new doors for self development and fulfillment.
I'm placing my bets on this woman being ACE. If she was serious and not just lying about dating when she is 40 to let the guy down gently, she might be like me and waiting for that drive for inimate and romatic connection to kick in every decade and then it never comes. But I've let guys that have shown interest in me in a romantic way, that its absolutely off the table. I'm simply not built that way and I respect if they want to walk away. You can't manipulate people into being your friends.
She wont cut ties with him because usually people in the friendzone provide resources. She will only cut ties once she's in a relationship. I'm shocked John advised him to remain friends with her.
There is no “we want to hold onto the magic” she told him there’s no magic. He’s gotta cut her outttt, he’s out here speaking for her and everything is a “we”. He’s gonna get destroyed.
I could never understand the woman wanting the feeling of a boyfriend without the romantic part. She's using him and has a deep fear of being alone with her own thoughts. She sounds like a bad person
She’s using him.
No one owes anyone a relationship.
Let go of what does not serve you well.
They are merely roommates.
No is a complete sentence - The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
We Don't Attract The Wrong People We Allow Them To Be In Our Lives-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Why You Choose The Wrong People-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Healing From A Breakup-Ken Reid podcast 🌞
What You Need To Do To Recover Off The Back Of A Bad Breakup - Ken Reid podcast 🌞
Self Love To Self Healing - Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
@@SherriFlemming no, no one owes a relationship. But this man is owed her respect, instead of sticking around and torturing him. She owes him her exit
@@dodgelandesman They both need to exit each other's lives.
Why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want you? Let go of what does not serve you well.
John gave him a wakeup call and common sense advice.
then you dont understand women. only the most highly moral women are willing to turn down free resources from a "harmless" male
you have to accept it, if you were in a relationship, you'd want her to *want* you. She's not a link to your Dad 😕. I'm listening, and whoah, she moved around the country with you and cooks with you and you're ''doing life together'' but she does not want to sleep with you. She's CERTAIN about that.
He took his dad’s “miracle girl” compliment and built too much of his life around it! Also, how much younger is she??
Great advice John. lve been in this position twice...moved on but stayed friends..but distant friends.x