Ngl it's a little messed up. There's a version of the app that costs 70 bucks for a yearly prescription. Ehh, actually, I changed my mind. It's genuinely cheap and pretty low, even with all the crap on here.
Sex may be the most sacred thing you do with another person. It is, in and of itself, a prayer. We think of sex as sinful and religion as the cure to that but I think sex done right is spiritual, righteous, and prayer-like.
We need more life conversations like this, where instead of Jon immediately judging her and shutting her down, he asks questions to find the root cause and will eventually let her make her own decision through talking it out. Too many people make controversial decisions, not because they are bad or immoral, but because something else hidden is at play. This is why I watch this channel.
To be fair ive been online in forums and people try to push things onto others...specifically regarding this topic...and I've also had the fantasies....but I realize it's the only way to control my fear of being deeply betrayed. Its like people who are turned on by clowns...it normally stems from the need to control a fear
@@alluringbliss4165its not anything about being traditional…its about peoples biology and psychology. Polyamorous fail just as much as traditional, so clearly they aren’t better or open minded. People have just found out how to lie to themselves in order to appease society.
A marriage based on lust not only sounds absolutely stupid but like a ticking time bomb. This is coming from a man who has been with the same woman for 17 years (since I was 16) and still feels tight in the pants whenever I see her naked. A marriage shouldn’t even be based on feelings of love because those change and are incredibly fickle. A marriage should be based on unwavering commitment to another person.
@@sparkles999rose2 do you know the difference between lust and passion? Lust has a universally negative connotation, it’s a desire most typically defined by the wrong reasons. No one with any semblance of intelligence has ever defined or used lust in a positive light. 😂
Physical Therapist here. I see people in most cases up to 6 weeks. THANK YOU Dr. John for saying get another opinion after minimal to no progress in 3-5 months.
The thought of my husband being with anyone else makes me a wreck. I would NEVER want to share him or myself with anyone else. ❤️❤️ This was an interesting conversation. I think their marriage will implode adding another person to the mix.
Just like a "sexless marriage" is not a marriage. At least she cares about meeting her husbands needs. Her accountability and care for her husband is unbelievably rare.
@@cur244 while I agree that it's not ok to choose to deliberately withhold sex all the time from a marriage partner their are people that will end up in sexless marriages due to illness etc. Vows still matter and so does integrity.
lol I’m 5 months pp. I was 173 before pregnancy and now I’m 140Ibs, more confident and glowing. Ik many other people who snapped back and lost weight or feel comfortable with their bodies. Everyone is different. I hope you get a baby is you want one and have a amazing body after ❤
I actually liked my body more after birth. I have never looked at my body more positively than an hour after I gave birth. It was an incredible powerful feeling. I think it really depends on the person and how you perceive it.
If you don't want to be a parent, I'm certainly not here to convince you otherwise. But if you're on the fence and physical changes are what push you over the edge, perhaps consider the fact that your body can drastically change whether or not you decide to carry a pregnancy. We are all going to age. Your body will look very different after menopause, no matter what. I work in the mortuary field and can tell you, at the end of the day, I can't tell whether a wom'an has had children unless maybe there's an obvious C section scar (and even then, it could be from something else). I look objectively better after having children because they were the motivation to take care of my health like never before. I was obese since childhood, despite endless attempts to lose weight. I can't remember a time, even in childhood, where I wasn't ashamed of my body and trying to lose weight. After I had kids, things finally "clicked" and I was able to take full control. My mom passed at 53, after a 10 year battle with multiple health conditions ultimately stemming from years of untreated diabetes. I refused to leave my kids, or have them take care of me for years, like I did for my mom. I lost 130 lb, put all my metabolic issues into remission and got off maintenance meds. Being a parent did change me, but it's all positive. I have no desire to go back to the person I was before they existed. Things are unequivocally better, and my kids are happy and cared for in ways I never was. It doesn't have to be any way that you don't want. You have control.
@@doesnotFempute Anyone who worries about looks after pregnancy is selfish and should not have children. A mother in society is worth way more than a selfish women who has no kids.
I believe this womans physical issues are more common than women can voice out loud. Then your brain goes towards fantasy to find resolution. I like how John always says the old is over this is the new chapter.
This was a fascinating conversation and I'm so glad John took her seriously. I can totally see the idea of 'outsourcing' the sex part. Feeling emotionally isolated and physically burdened because of sex is so hard.
It wasn't specifically mentioned, but there can be a lot of coercion and anger with lack of sex. A blow to the ego. Outsourcing it becomes preferable to all the pressure and hostility.
@@sarcasticcat4982100% The only way that maybe (MAYBE!) this wouldn't happen is to have him with women with... dependency issues that look super busted... for money.
Yeahhh....most women don't just have sex to fulfill a physical need, that's more of a guy thing. That means another female will be establishing an emotional connection with your husband.
I don't think corn has anything to do with this. Her reasoning is due to seeing him being desired by someone else making him more desirable to her. She clearly stated this. The more women are interested in him, the more desirable he is to women making him a better catch to her. And if he's able to be strong and please other women, it's her way to seeing him flex his muscles even more. There are men similar to this with cuckolding. Watching their woman enjoy sex, getting pleasured, and desired by other men can be a turn on for some men.
I think my hubby is like this woman minus the c sections. I had to demand desire from him. I have been successful, he underestimate ls himselfovso I have to keep creating the expectations for him to meet. It works, he even gets surprised that he is successful.
This makes me so sad. Because as a loving wife we want our mans physical needs to be met. 💔 Instead of being an emotional broken woman.. I thought this would be a good idea. It wasn’t, it broke me. I was so sure about doing this.. it broke me. It took a while to recover from it. Both my husband and the woman of my choice were so understanding of my emotions.. in the moment it felt good. Until it didnt. 😢
Thankfully we are good. This was about two years ago now. The first month or two we both felt a strain between us. We both slept with this said female together and she was kind, understanding and respectful of our relationship. She didn’t communicate with my husband.. only through me. But one night after my husband and I went out for drinks he mentioned inviting her over and it devastated me. But Im aware now how selfish I had been in that moment. My husband wasn’t trying to hurt me. But he also had a sexual experience and connection that I allowed at one point. I don’t recommend a three sum unless you’re truly secure. I thought Id be comfortable doing this. But I quickly realized I cherish sex with my husband. Potentially losing him to the arms of another is a pain like no other. We moved past this. We fight and make love just like we had done for years before. But it took a lot of tears, words and faith to heal each other. I’m really glad I came across this video..I appreciate our journey together more. @@inappropriatelaugh
amazing...Jon is absolutely right. Could she even be pushing her husband away and into another woman because of the fact that her body is turning on her?...Kind of a, "I don't know what's happening...so I am just going to push you away and watch you leave me." That will literally crush her. Sort of giving up...man she really loves her husband because she is trying to make sure his sexual "needs" are addressed...Did he marry her in sickness and in health? Thank you for talking about it.
If she ever let this happen it would absolutely destroy her self confidence even more and I TRULY hope she never goes through with it and instead they do some kind of counseling and work through their limitations together.
Having multiple and concubines was all the rage until Paul decided men couldn't wear head coverings and could only have one wife. I wonder what King David would think about that...after all, he was God's favorite.
Having a hysterectomy probably messed up her hormones a lot, which has a huge impact on her feelings too. Talking to her husband, giving him insight, so they can actually meet each other's emotional needs will help a lot with all the other issues.
Why are we women so hard on ourselves? Men get fat, bald and look like crap and we give them a pass. We all Look different with time. Love always prevails when it’s genuine. If your husband loves you he won’t care you changed because so has he. And most importantly he loves you for you.
You should not be giving men that pass either. Letting yourself go is disrespectful to your partner. He will still love you. You will still love him. But just because you are loved, that should not mean you should be unhealthy or unattractive for your partner... Men should not get fat nor messy just because they are married
You should not be giving men that pass either. Letting yourself go is disrespectful to your partner. He will still love you. You will still love him. But just because you are loved, that should not mean you should be unhealthy or unattractive for your partner... Men should not get fat nor messy just because they are married
I have a friend whose wife wanted to bring in another man to be with her and her husband. All went well and then she returned the "favour" and brought in another woman. She eventually left her husband because she never trusted him again after the "favour". It ate at her and constantly accused him of her not being 1st choice on that fateful night. She accused him of cheating on her with every woman that she saw him talking to. SO BE CAREFUL OF MAKING FANTASIES REAL. fantasies are fantasies. Leave them there for real.
Scripture already gives a similar account. God had promised Abraham a son and a great nation behind him. But Abrahams wife was barren and already up near 100 years old! Thinking she had the right answer for Abraham’s destiny, she gave him permission to go to Hagar and bare a son with her. However, what she thought would be a good idea and to please her husband because she loved him so much, turned into something else, and it backfired on her. Why? I feel because, SHE wasn’t the one to fulfill him. Abraham did have a son with Hagar, and name him Ishmael. And because of this disaster, the consequences has been the ongoing conflict between Israel (Isaac) and Palestine (Ishmael).
beyond a bad idea. She needs to communicate all these thoughts with her husband so they can find answers to all these issues. Issue 1: She gets pains during sexual acts. 2: She doesnt know if her husband is attractive unless she sees another woman want him....does she question her attraction to her husband? 3: she feels ugly because whats she has gone through. All these can be addressed through thorough communication between two people. And the baby in the background...wtf. As a listener, its just weird AF.
I've thought about this, too! So many times! My hesitation is simply the jealousy factor mixed with the inability to take it back if it sowed something I can't take reaping.... I know what I want, I just don't like the unknown aftermath. I view it almost like a sec toy, but not something that would compete for love, time, attention, etc. Almost like something that can be taken off and be put back on the shelf.....
If it’s what you want, you have to be 100 percent committed to the idea you’re not going to get mad or let this blow up your marriage. Kinda sounds like he’s not into it, though. Sounds like he’s fine with you taking time to get your body together.
This concept is foreign to me. I can't imagine that telling your husband that you want an open marriage, but only open to him is ever a smart move. You risk losing your husband on top of your children missing out on family time because your husband is dating other women. Also, you made a commitment, an oath, during your wedding ceremony. Don't break that oath, and never tempt him to break that oath. Keep fantasies just in fantasy land. Share the fantasy, if you're comfortable, but don't enact it into reality. Another realization is that your spouse may think you've lost interest in them. Nobody wants to hear that.
False. Men and women are not the same. Men will love you to death while cheating because it is just a realease. And he will love you even more if you're comprehensive of this. That's why throughout history polygamy was for men not women and they had to sustain the other "wives" as a matter of justice for the other women not because he wants to marry them.
@@user-if4ke6en9r i'm a 25 yo lowlife who barely gets laid bc I don't have game, but even I understand this because I have male genitalia. I don't project my nature onto women.
@@YesNo-qb9vl agree. Men can be with several women at a time and compartmentalize their separate relationships. Women technically don’t do that because they are based on emotions..
I think most couples go thru dry spells. They need to find how to be intimate in other ways that are non-sexual. It will keep them connected until they are able to be physical again.
Oh geesh, the baby crying in the background is awful. She needs to read reddit relationship stories about open marriages. Open marriages never work, don't even bother trying. John handled this well, those open marriage people need to hear this.
Someone will feel like a third wheel in that relationship/marriage if she bringing another woman in to her marriage. ....this sort of fantasy always ends in disaster or even divorce.. ..three somes in a marriage never, ever works because she'll get jealous when he's smashing another woman ..it will never work . GOD BLESS FROM THE REPUBLIC OF IRELAND 🇮🇪 🙏
I can't even picture any other woman with my husband without going crazy. My biggest fear is another woman stealing him away from me. She must not love this man.
This conversation just comes to show that it’s not just as black and white as just wanting an open marriage. There’s so many different factors that comes into play.
I'm only starting this but so far it's like Jon has given her more reasons to be into it 😂. I know that's not where it is ultimately going but boy is it amazing right now
I hate an open marriage. I hate people that think it's normal. This is not normal.... Its an insecurity thing..... And me seeing my husband with someone else would break my heart. Whoever shares I feel like has some type of sickness..
I can understand her thought process of another woman finding him attractive would be fun, but she isnt thinking how it will feel to see her husband lustful and attracted to another woman and getting pleasured by one. I think if one of the concerns is that she doesnt feel great about her body, it would be a horrible idea to see him turned on or attracted to another woman. She will really start comparing herself and feeling worse about how she looks. It also completely crushes the idea that women want to believe such as he only wants me, he would never cheat, I'm the only one for him and start planting ideas like he finds many women attractive, I'm not special
I think it’s a bad idea. The husband doesn’t even seem comfortable with it. Would she want him watching her with another man? It’s not fair to the other woman- is she just a toy? Who likes to be used? I think it’s best to work on your marriage.
Actually a lot of women love to be used sexually, they get off being treated as a sex object , it’s actually most women turn on but has to be by the right guy obviously
This woman made me very sad. I really understand her terrible situation-- she is a mess physically and all in order to have children and give her children to her husband. The pain she is feeling is caused by the loss of estrogen and shitty doctors.
I know men and women are different but if you think about it reversed, how would you feel if your husband said he'd want to see you with another man? Yikes. I would start assuming he doesn't care, doesnt love me, all kinds of thoughts. If he told me he wanted to watch other men find me attractive I'd start questioning if he doesn't find me attractive himself and needs someone else to validate it.
Look there some people who can do the swinging or even the polyamory thing. But the question is can you handle if your partner enjoys sex with someone else more than you so that its not just a one-time or occasional thing, like what if they enjoy it better so that sex with the other person is their preference? Also can you stand if they develop an emotional bond and later find or believe their emotioal bond or fit is better than their current relationship / marriage and they find they want to leave to explore options or to be with this new partner or other partners, as this is always a possibility
Such a good wife she wants to make sure he is satisfied even if with someone else? If he is a good guy he sees that and wouldn't want to be with anyone else.
It is funny as she wants what men usually dream of. But i think this is a trap, she should understand that her husband might end up being emotionally connected to someone else.
True, but as someone who is poly and living it for many years I also tell people this: If you lose your partner to someone else over a sexual encounter, they were never really yours to begin with.
@@SimonRiley-pz9ew It exists because it works for some people. Not everyone will agree with me on this point, but I think people are either wired for it or not. For it to work, you not only have to desire multiple partners for yourself, but also be good, and indeed happy for your partners to have the same freedom. It's a lot of work emotionally and physically. You really have to show up for your partners every day even if you don't live with them. It's a lot of travel too, potentially. Two of my partners live 2 or more hours away.
@@kenofken9458 Shift them in the same home. If you lack the finance to buy a bigger home then use the loopholes in tax system. You will be able to. Btw at some point you will have to let them all meet and live together in harmony. Better do it now.
While i don't think open marriages are by default bad or morally wrong, they need to be taken seriously and with good reason as to why a couple should open up their marriage. This wife's reasons for wanting to have open marriage are not good enough reasons and i think the husband should reject that option.
I have to criticize one little piece here. There should have been at least *some* pushback when she said "I go to chiro, which is basically the same thing" It is NOT the same thing, at all, whatsoever. I'll spare you my rant that chiropractors are snake oil salesmen (but.....chiropractors are snake oil salesmen), however there should have been some more effort in encouraging her to seek the advice of an actual licensed physical therapist.
This happened to my friend. She was having sex with a married man and the wife gave him permission to sleep with another woman( my friend). She even met the woman. It went on for 8 months. The guy was from an Eastern culture( won't say which country) and this was common with the men. His wife was too busy with small kids and she was going to nursing school.
Hi. I’m chronically ill and I would just ad to this discussion by saying, you can have sex in very different ways, there are people who actually are experts in helping people who’ve become disabled whit their sexlife and how to be able to have sex. There are a lot of different aid’s and tips and tricks.
This reminds me of a story in the Bible, where Abraham and Sarah couldn’t conceive a child so Sarah sends Abraham to have a child with another woman, but after a while, Sarah becomes jealous and wants this woman and her child gone after she has a child of her own. Moral of the story is in my opinion women change their minds about what they want and sometimes I think they don’t even know what they want but all I can say is this is a terrible idea. And it’s actually hilarious.
I honestly don't understand what is so wrong about biblical polygamy. It was all the rage in the OT, then Paul came along and decided men couldn't wear head coverings and could only have one wife. Seems like aside from cultural conditioning, women just want a man who provides for them and loves them and if they get that, they don't truly care if their man is doing the same for another woman, but in fact find it highly attractive. It's well known fact that when a man makes a woman jealous by showing her he has options, she is actually more attracted to him. The same isn't true in reverse. Wonder why that is.
I wouldn’t say it’s “morally wrong” to picture your partner with someone else. It’s stupid, will probably end your marriage, it could be considered “sin” if you’re religious, but if it’s all consenting adults I don’t see what’s immoral about it
@@alluringbliss4165 I don’t subscribe to the idea that something becomes immoral just because god said so, but for religious people they are going to believe whatever their holy book tells them
Sounds like she is afraid that because of her health conditions, she will lose her husband. Normally, I would be against this, but it does sound like she is promoting trying to save the marriage, but before it is in trouble. Touch case on both paths...
So she’s going to potentially ruin a marriage ,with children involved ,to do this? Grown people can do what they wanna do, but I’ve rarely seen or heard about this situation coming out anything but catastrophic at some point… To each their own, she may get her feelings hurt when she realizes her hubby may like this, and he meets somebody else and gets rid of her altogether… her low self-esteem is really going to plummet.
This being sponsored by a prayer app makes me lol
😂
Same 😂
Why? Just like seei g burger commercials durong a sport game. Money is money. Social media is merely a vessel to give commercials to thr masses.
Ngl it's a little messed up. There's a version of the app that costs 70 bucks for a yearly prescription. Ehh, actually, I changed my mind. It's genuinely cheap and pretty low, even with all the crap on here.
Sex may be the most sacred thing you do with another person. It is, in and of itself, a prayer. We think of sex as sinful and religion as the cure to that but I think sex done right is spiritual, righteous, and prayer-like.
We need more life conversations like this, where instead of Jon immediately judging her and shutting her down, he asks questions to find the root cause and will eventually let her make her own decision through talking it out. Too many people make controversial decisions, not because they are bad or immoral, but because something else hidden is at play. This is why I watch this channel.
And we call what he did “Socratic questioning” in therapy; just a fun fact!
Yeah, John does a bad job projecting sometimes. Hopefully, he learns to rein it in.
What is hallow
You're right, he only judges and blames the men
To be fair ive been online in forums and people try to push things onto others...specifically regarding this topic...and I've also had the fantasies....but I realize it's the only way to control my fear of being deeply betrayed. Its like people who are turned on by clowns...it normally stems from the need to control a fear
Bringing someone else into your marriage is ALWAYS a bad idea.
Entire culture of swingers out there. I could never do it but it’s legitimately good for some peoples marriages.
Not ALWAYS
Facts
@@Michael-pf1instatistics show this just isn't true
Why do you people think you know what’s best for others.
Guys if a woman says she wants to do this just keep in mind; if she changes her mind at any point. Your relationship is over
So many people are not traditional nowadays, it’s worrisome for those who are.
Yup just like a traditional marriage. Women change minds depending on wind direction.
That’s quite the sentence structure.
This is common knowledge!
@@alluringbliss4165its not anything about being traditional…its about peoples biology and psychology. Polyamorous fail just as much as traditional, so clearly they aren’t better or open minded. People have just found out how to lie to themselves in order to appease society.
Somethings are best left as a fantasy.......
I agree 💯
Reality is never as good as a Fantasy.
I give her props for being honest....so many people wouldn't admit to having these thoughts.... or fantasies...
And they don’t heed to admit. What’s wrong with keeping these thoughts to yourself?
Lust is not love
Yes it is, 15 years married here based on mostly lust
A marriage based on lust not only sounds absolutely stupid but like a ticking time bomb. This is coming from a man who has been with the same woman for 17 years (since I was 16) and still feels tight in the pants whenever I see her naked. A marriage shouldn’t even be based on feelings of love because those change and are incredibly fickle. A marriage should be based on unwavering commitment to another person.
@@johnsonjj117 sounds like lust you’re just confused
@@sparkles999rose2 do you know the difference between lust and passion? Lust has a universally negative connotation, it’s a desire most typically defined by the wrong reasons.
No one with any semblance of intelligence has ever defined or used lust in a positive light. 😂
@@sparkles999rose2Oof, he has a video about this. Tumultuous?
Nope, if I love him, I don’t want to share him in the most intimate way.
Then your selfish cause he wants other women to
@@Tr3briickzhow is that selfish? Marriage is a commitment lol
Physical Therapist here. I see people in most cases up to 6 weeks. THANK YOU Dr. John for saying get another opinion after minimal to no progress in 3-5 months.
The thought of my husband being with anyone else makes me a wreck. I would NEVER want to share him or myself with anyone else. ❤️❤️ This was an interesting conversation. I think their marriage will implode adding another person to the mix.
The thought is utterly nauseating.
How possessive and controlling of you
@@RabidDisposition seriously?
@@thabsmkhize2481 i was merely being facetious
Wasn’t sure how you were going to handle this John …but wow John.
There is always a need under every problem. Even ones that are offensive.
An “open marriage” is not a marriage. If you go that route, just know that you are ending your marriage.
Just like a "sexless marriage" is not a marriage. At least she cares about meeting her husbands needs. Her accountability and care for her husband is unbelievably rare.
All my exes live in texas, bro.
@@cur244
She doesn’t care about him…. She settled, she loves his resources and uses womanese and mental gymnastics to try and avoid admitting it.
@@cur244 in the Bible , adultery is the only way out of a “marriage” not lack of sex. Try again.
@@cur244 while I agree that it's not ok to choose to deliberately withhold sex all the time from a marriage partner their are people that will end up in sexless marriages due to illness etc. Vows still matter and so does integrity.
First time I’ve ever heard of a woman liking the idea of her man being with another woman, but not of her being with another man 😂😂
lol she’s a lame cuckhold
It's actually the reason, both men and women choose ethical non monogamy. They enjoy their partner being fulfilled!
It happens often actually there's a huge community especially online.
Why is that funn y to you? You know all things are possible and things occur outside of your realm and reasoning.🙄
@@dana102083 yeah I don't understand what's so funny about this. Cw is that clown who is always on the outside because that's about their limit.
Women hating their bodies after birth seems to be such a problem that it's become a factor in my decision to have kids or not
lol I’m 5 months pp. I was 173 before pregnancy and now I’m 140Ibs, more confident and glowing. Ik many other people who snapped back and lost weight or feel comfortable with their bodies. Everyone is different. I hope you get a baby is you want one and have a amazing body after ❤
I actually liked my body more after birth. I have never looked at my body more positively than an hour after I gave birth. It was an incredible powerful feeling. I think it really depends on the person and how you perceive it.
Selfish
If you don't want to be a parent, I'm certainly not here to convince you otherwise. But if you're on the fence and physical changes are what push you over the edge, perhaps consider the fact that your body can drastically change whether or not you decide to carry a pregnancy.
We are all going to age. Your body will look very different after menopause, no matter what.
I work in the mortuary field and can tell you, at the end of the day, I can't tell whether a wom'an has had children unless maybe there's an obvious C section scar (and even then, it could be from something else).
I look objectively better after having children because they were the motivation to take care of my health like never before. I was obese since childhood, despite endless attempts to lose weight. I can't remember a time, even in childhood, where I wasn't ashamed of my body and trying to lose weight.
After I had kids, things finally "clicked" and I was able to take full control. My mom passed at 53, after a 10 year battle with multiple health conditions ultimately stemming from years of untreated diabetes.
I refused to leave my kids, or have them take care of me for years, like I did for my mom. I lost 130 lb, put all my metabolic issues into remission and got off maintenance meds.
Being a parent did change me, but it's all positive. I have no desire to go back to the person I was before they existed. Things are unequivocally better, and my kids are happy and cared for in ways I never was. It doesn't have to be any way that you don't want. You have control.
@@doesnotFempute Anyone who worries about looks after pregnancy is selfish and should not have children. A mother in society is worth way more than a selfish women who has no kids.
I believe this womans physical issues are more common than women can voice out loud.
Then your brain goes towards fantasy to find resolution.
I like how John always says the old is over this is the new chapter.
I knew 8 poly couples. Within 3 months. All relationships imploded. The narc ran off or after the new lov interest.
It says alot about you that you know eight poly couples
This was a fascinating conversation and I'm so glad John took her seriously. I can totally see the idea of 'outsourcing' the sex part. Feeling emotionally isolated and physically burdened because of sex is so hard.
It wasn't specifically mentioned, but there can be a lot of coercion and anger with lack of sex. A blow to the ego. Outsourcing it becomes preferable to all the pressure and hostility.
Yeah I know a couple that did this. He left her for the "outsource."
This is not a marriage.
@@sarcasticcat4982100% The only way that maybe (MAYBE!) this wouldn't happen is to have him with women with... dependency issues that look super busted... for money.
Yeahhh....most women don't just have sex to fulfill a physical need, that's more of a guy thing. That means another female will be establishing an emotional connection with your husband.
This is because of corn! People have become intrigued by the idea of watching instead of doing ..
I think so too. These aren’t normal desires…they’re fetishes that have to be planted into the brain somehow.
I don't think corn has anything to do with this. Her reasoning is due to seeing him being desired by someone else making him more desirable to her. She clearly stated this. The more women are interested in him, the more desirable he is to women making him a better catch to her. And if he's able to be strong and please other women, it's her way to seeing him flex his muscles even more. There are men similar to this with cuckolding. Watching their woman enjoy sex, getting pleasured, and desired by other men can be a turn on for some men.
That industry has done immense damage to our society. I really fear for the future
Some people have kinks you know
I think my hubby is like this woman minus the c sections. I had to demand desire from him. I have been successful, he underestimate ls himselfovso I have to keep creating the expectations for him to meet. It works, he even gets surprised that he is successful.
Nah. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
one might say "fuk around and find out" is more fitting😄
This makes me so sad.
Because as a loving wife we want our mans physical needs to be met. 💔
Instead of being an emotional broken woman.. I thought this would be a good idea. It wasn’t, it broke me.
I was so sure about doing this.. it broke me. It took a while to recover from it.
Both my husband and the woman of my choice were so understanding of my emotions..
in the moment it felt good. Until it didnt. 😢
@NannerKeith I'm so sorry 🙏🏿 ❤
How are you and your husband doing now?
Thankfully we are good. This was about two years ago now. The first month or two we both felt a strain between us. We both slept with this said female together and she was kind, understanding and respectful of our relationship. She didn’t communicate with my husband.. only through me. But one night after my husband and I went out for drinks he mentioned inviting her over and it devastated me. But Im aware now how selfish I had been in that moment. My husband wasn’t trying to hurt me. But he also had a sexual experience and connection that I allowed at one point.
I don’t recommend a three sum unless you’re truly secure. I thought Id be comfortable doing this. But I quickly realized I cherish sex with my husband. Potentially losing him to the arms of another is a pain like no other.
We moved past this. We fight and make love just like we had done for years before. But it took a lot of tears, words and faith to heal each other. I’m really glad I came across this video..I appreciate our journey together more. @@inappropriatelaugh
@@NannerKeiththank you for sharing this…🥹
@@NannerKeiththank you for sharing
Wow! He handled this super well
Very strong points you brought, John. Sometimes I feel you don’t always see the situation (jusr my opinion, nothing more) but today - wow. Speechless.
Hearing the baby in the background 😂
amazing...Jon is absolutely right. Could she even be pushing her husband away and into another woman because of the fact that her body is turning on her?...Kind of a, "I don't know what's happening...so I am just going to push you away and watch you leave me." That will literally crush her. Sort of giving up...man she really loves her husband because she is trying to make sure his sexual "needs" are addressed...Did he marry her in sickness and in health? Thank you for talking about it.
Yep. She is in competition with other women and feels that her husband is validation that she’s better than other women.
If she ever let this happen it would absolutely destroy her self confidence even more and I TRULY hope she never goes through with it and instead they do some kind of counseling and work through their limitations together.
Right, if she feels insecure about her body NOW that’s not gonna get any better after he comes home whistling after having sex with another woman.
Jon you nailed it
I can barely even stand it when my husband cheats on me in my dreams. 😂 I could never understand this logic
As Christians we have to start handling these conversations by bringing the word of God into the mix. Who has better wisdom than God
Exactly...she is confusing lust with Love
Having multiple and concubines was all the rage until Paul decided men couldn't wear head coverings and could only have one wife. I wonder what King David would think about that...after all, he was God's favorite.
Having a hysterectomy probably messed up her hormones a lot, which has a huge impact on her feelings too.
Talking to her husband, giving him insight, so they can actually meet each other's emotional needs will help a lot with all the other issues.
Top 5 wildest titles lol
I think people don’t understand how common this is honestly
That is like when a coke head says that everybody is doing it.
That’s disturbing, IMO.
@ definitely not my cup of tea, but I wouldn’t consider it disturbing. Different people have different sets of morals.
Like Jon said fantasies are okay to have. But acting on them is playing with fire.
@@SmoothSmithh Not judging others at all but to say it's "common" is an extreme exaggeration.
“It’s morally wrong but I want to do it.” That would be called sin.
Why are we women so hard on ourselves? Men get fat, bald and look like crap and we give them a pass. We all Look different with time. Love always prevails when it’s genuine. If your husband loves you he won’t care you changed because so has he. And most importantly he loves you for you.
Uh excuse me . What is this who gives a crap if a man get fat??
Do yoh watch this channel?
Keep watching.
You should not be giving men that pass either. Letting yourself go is disrespectful to your partner. He will still love you. You will still love him. But just because you are loved, that should not mean you should be unhealthy or unattractive for your partner... Men should not get fat nor messy just because they are married
You should not be giving men that pass either. Letting yourself go is disrespectful to your partner. He will still love you. You will still love him. But just because you are loved, that should not mean you should be unhealthy or unattractive for your partner... Men should not get fat nor messy just because they are married
I have a friend whose wife wanted to bring in another man to be with her and her husband. All went well and then she returned the "favour" and brought in another woman. She eventually left her husband because she never trusted him again after the "favour". It ate at her and constantly accused him of her not being 1st choice on that fateful night. She accused him of cheating on her with every woman that she saw him talking to. SO BE CAREFUL OF MAKING FANTASIES REAL. fantasies are fantasies. Leave them there for real.
💯💯💯
Well done Dr John. Was going wtf you doing, but again you a legend ! Really well done.
Scripture already gives a similar account. God had promised Abraham a son and a great nation behind him. But Abrahams wife was barren and already up near 100 years old!
Thinking she had the right answer for Abraham’s destiny, she gave him permission to go to Hagar and bare a son with her. However, what she thought would be a good idea and to please her husband because she loved him so much, turned into something else, and it backfired on her. Why? I feel because, SHE wasn’t the one to fulfill him. Abraham did have a son with Hagar, and name him Ishmael. And because of this disaster, the consequences has been the ongoing conflict between Israel (Isaac) and Palestine (Ishmael).
Bingo
Nailed it
Scripture is silly. And in 2024 Israel is absolutely genocidal.
Good point 🎯
beyond a bad idea. She needs to communicate all these thoughts with her husband so they can find answers to all these issues. Issue 1: She gets pains during sexual acts. 2: She doesnt know if her husband is attractive unless she sees another woman want him....does she question her attraction to her husband? 3: she feels ugly because whats she has gone through. All these can be addressed through thorough communication between two people. And the baby in the background...wtf. As a listener, its just weird AF.
I've thought about this, too! So many times! My hesitation is simply the jealousy factor mixed with the inability to take it back if it sowed something I can't take reaping.... I know what I want, I just don't like the unknown aftermath. I view it almost like a sec toy, but not something that would compete for love, time, attention, etc. Almost like something that can be taken off and be put back on the shelf.....
If it’s what you want, you have to be 100 percent committed to the idea you’re not going to get mad or let this blow up your marriage. Kinda sounds like he’s not into it, though. Sounds like he’s fine with you taking time to get your body together.
This concept is foreign to me. I can't imagine that telling your husband that you want an open marriage, but only open to him is ever a smart move. You risk losing your husband on top of your children missing out on family time because your husband is dating other women.
Also, you made a commitment, an oath, during your wedding ceremony. Don't break that oath, and never tempt him to break that oath.
Keep fantasies just in fantasy land. Share the fantasy, if you're comfortable, but don't enact it into reality.
Another realization is that your spouse may think you've lost interest in them. Nobody wants to hear that.
False. Men and women are not the same. Men will love you to death while cheating because it is just a realease. And he will love you even more if you're comprehensive of this. That's why throughout history polygamy was for men not women and they had to sustain the other "wives" as a matter of justice for the other women not because he wants to marry them.
@@YesNo-qb9vlmalarkey from a cheater
@@user-if4ke6en9r i'm a 25 yo lowlife who barely gets laid bc I don't have game, but even I understand this because I have male genitalia. I don't project my nature onto women.
@@YesNo-qb9vlwhat a load of hogwash, no wonder we have so many moral degenerates
@@YesNo-qb9vl agree. Men can be with several women at a time and compartmentalize their separate relationships. Women technically don’t do that because they are based on emotions..
lol he’s cute and his ideas for raising heart rate are so innocent, I love it. Like leaving a note in a bag. Boring, but so wholesome it’s perfect.
I think most couples go thru dry spells. They need to find how to be intimate in other ways that are non-sexual. It will keep them connected until they are able to be physical again.
Lol, tell that to men…
This is very interesting considering she’s a new Christian. I hope she finds clarity and understands she should not sign up for this.😬
Oh geesh, the baby crying in the background is awful. She needs to read reddit relationship stories about open marriages. Open marriages never work, don't even bother trying. John handled this well, those open marriage people need to hear this.
What than happens if he falls in “love” with the other woman and no longer wants to be with this wife?!!! Did she think of that?
This was awesome. The advice was superb.
Someone will feel like a third wheel in that relationship/marriage if she bringing another woman in to her marriage. ....this sort of fantasy always ends in disaster or even divorce.. ..three somes in a marriage never, ever works because she'll get jealous when he's smashing another woman ..it will never work . GOD BLESS FROM THE REPUBLIC OF IRELAND 🇮🇪 🙏
Great discussion.
i don’t care what anybody says about it, open relationships “sharing” polyamorous is disgusting and those people need SERIOUS help
I can't even picture any other woman with my husband without going crazy. My biggest fear is another woman stealing him away from me. She must not love this man.
@kayhenry5063 If a man can be stolen, he never wanted to be kept. Same the other way around. Hard lesson I've seen so many experience.
What in the F is happening with couples?? This isnt remotely healthy or nornal. People used to dual over this.
Scares me off marriage lol. Absolutely not.
@@Contrarian-v7pless to do with marriage more to do with pron consumption
If there's more than 2 it's not a marriage by definition.
Swinging generally leads to divorce. How she gonna feel when her man seems to enjoy a woman more than with her?
I don’t relate to this but this was super interesting wow. I love how to meet people with their struggles without judgement… Wooooow
I’m the opposite of this. I don’t share. I’d be fueled with a lot of negative things if someone else came up with
“Answering machine” 🤣
Luckiest guy on earth. 😂
This conversation just comes to show that it’s not just as black and white as just wanting an open marriage. There’s so many different factors that comes into play.
I'm only starting this but so far it's like Jon has given her more reasons to be into it 😂. I know that's not where it is ultimately going but boy is it amazing right now
OMG.. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING... !! You can't take back stupid...and what if he likes it... he may leave you... !!
I hate an open marriage. I hate people that think it's normal. This is not normal.... Its an insecurity thing..... And me seeing my husband with someone else would break my heart. Whoever shares I feel like has some type of sickness..
Very good Dr John veryyyy good we need more reallllllllll conversations
I can understand her thought process of another woman finding him attractive would be fun, but she isnt thinking how it will feel to see her husband lustful and attracted to another woman and getting pleasured by one. I think if one of the concerns is that she doesnt feel great about her body, it would be a horrible idea to see him turned on or attracted to another woman. She will really start comparing herself and feeling worse about how she looks. It also completely crushes the idea that women want to believe such as he only wants me, he would never cheat, I'm the only one for him and start planting ideas like he finds many women attractive, I'm not special
I think it’s a bad idea. The husband doesn’t even seem comfortable with it. Would she want him watching her with another man? It’s not fair to the other woman- is she just a toy? Who likes to be used? I think it’s best to work on your marriage.
Actually a lot of women love to be used sexually, they get off being treated as a sex object , it’s actually most women turn on but has to be by the right guy obviously
This woman definitely needs deep professional psychological help.
So do men who request the same of their wives
Tell him your be surprised how well he will take that 😂😂
This woman made me very sad. I really understand her terrible situation-- she is a mess physically and all in order to have children and give her children to her husband. The pain she is feeling is caused by the loss of estrogen and shitty doctors.
3:43 😂we almost lost the doctor mans is sideways
I feel its an ago thing, having a desirable man that other women want will boost her ego. Sounds like her selfworth took a hit from kids and health.
I know men and women are different but if you think about it reversed, how would you feel if your husband said he'd want to see you with another man? Yikes. I would start assuming he doesn't care, doesnt love me, all kinds of thoughts. If he told me he wanted to watch other men find me attractive I'd start questioning if he doesn't find me attractive himself and needs someone else to validate it.
This is my type of women
😂
You can hear this woman’s kids crying in the background while she talks about this. STOP watching pornography, people. It’s gross and subversive.
Look there some people who can do the swinging or even the polyamory thing. But the question is can you handle if your partner enjoys sex with someone else more than you so that its not just a one-time or occasional thing, like what if they enjoy it better so that sex with the other person is their preference? Also can you stand if they develop an emotional bond and later find or believe their emotioal bond or fit is better than their current relationship / marriage and they find they want to leave to explore options or to be with this new partner or other partners, as this is always a possibility
Open Marriage is a TERRIBLE idea!
Robin Thicke giving advice
lol
Such a good wife she wants to make sure he is satisfied even if with someone else? If he is a good guy he sees that and wouldn't want to be with anyone else.
She's seeking a way to relieve her guilt. If he does do it, he assumes all of it. She's trying to displace guilt.
That’s the devil pulling her away from God and into sin
It is funny as she wants what men usually dream of. But i think this is a trap, she should understand that her husband might end up being emotionally connected to someone else.
True, but as someone who is poly and living it for many years I also tell people this:
If you lose your partner to someone else over a sexual encounter, they were never really yours to begin with.
@kenofken9458 How does poly even exist? How is it possible? Is it possible to learn this power?
@@SimonRiley-pz9ew It exists because it works for some people. Not everyone will agree with me on this point, but I think people are either wired for it or not. For it to work, you not only have to desire multiple partners for yourself, but also be good, and indeed happy for your partners to have the same freedom.
It's a lot of work emotionally and physically. You really have to show up for your partners every day even if you don't live with them. It's a lot of travel too, potentially. Two of my partners live 2 or more hours away.
@@kenofken9458 Shift them in the same home. If you lack the finance to buy a bigger home then use the loopholes in tax system. You will be able to. Btw at some point you will have to let them all meet and live together in harmony. Better do it now.
While i don't think open marriages are by default bad or morally wrong, they need to be taken seriously and with good reason as to why a couple should open up their marriage. This wife's reasons for wanting to have open marriage are not good enough reasons and i think the husband should reject that option.
6:33 she wants to live vicariously
There are lots of ways to get a husband off without bringing in someone else.
She such a good wife
I’ll never understand
I do.
Daaaamn i need this woman
I have to criticize one little piece here. There should have been at least *some* pushback when she said "I go to chiro, which is basically the same thing" It is NOT the same thing, at all, whatsoever. I'll spare you my rant that chiropractors are snake oil salesmen (but.....chiropractors are snake oil salesmen), however there should have been some more effort in encouraging her to seek the advice of an actual licensed physical therapist.
I think its the Hysterectomy
She needs to learn THEOLOGY OF THE BODY
It's the fact that people used to dual over this stuff tells me everything I need to know about how far our society has fallen
This happened to my friend. She was having sex with a married man and the wife gave him permission to sleep with another woman( my friend). She even met the woman. It went on for 8 months. The guy was from an Eastern culture( won't say which country) and this was common with the men. His wife was too busy with small kids and she was going to nursing school.
Islam / polygamy is a culturally accepted thing elsewhere
@anibaldamiao he was Southeast Asian
Hi. I’m chronically ill and I would just ad to this discussion by saying, you can have sex in very different ways, there are people who actually are experts in helping people who’ve become disabled whit their sexlife and how to be able to have sex. There are a lot of different aid’s and tips and tricks.
This reminds me of a story in the Bible, where Abraham and Sarah couldn’t conceive a child so Sarah sends Abraham to have a child with another woman, but after a while, Sarah becomes jealous and wants this woman and her child gone after she has a child of her own. Moral of the story is in my opinion women change their minds about what they want and sometimes I think they don’t even know what they want but all I can say is this is a terrible idea. And it’s actually hilarious.
I honestly don't understand what is so wrong about biblical polygamy. It was all the rage in the OT, then Paul came along and decided men couldn't wear head coverings and could only have one wife. Seems like aside from cultural conditioning, women just want a man who provides for them and loves them and if they get that, they don't truly care if their man is doing the same for another woman, but in fact find it highly attractive.
It's well known fact that when a man makes a woman jealous by showing her he has options, she is actually more attracted to him. The same isn't true in reverse. Wonder why that is.
You give him a pass he will find some hotty totty and fall in love and leave. No bueno lady
Nooo the Baby in the backround😢
Of course he threw in his trademark “your old marriage is over, now you can build something new” line. Didn’t fit so well here. But had to say it!
I wouldn’t say it’s “morally wrong” to picture your partner with someone else. It’s stupid, will probably end your marriage, it could be considered “sin” if you’re religious, but if it’s all consenting adults I don’t see what’s immoral about it
She says she is Christian so therefore it is wrong ‘morally’. Our body is a temple.
If you are a person of faith, it is immoral.
It’s completely immoral. Marriage is one man, one woman.
@@alluringbliss4165 I don’t subscribe to the idea that something becomes immoral just because god said so, but for religious people they are going to believe whatever their holy book tells them
Open marriage is an oxymoron, doesn’t exist. If you’re sleeping with other people, the marriage is over.
Sounds like she is afraid that because of her health conditions, she will lose her husband.
Normally, I would be against this, but it does sound like she is promoting trying to save the marriage, but before it is in trouble.
Touch case on both paths...
So she’s going to potentially ruin a marriage ,with children involved ,to do this? Grown people can do what they wanna do, but I’ve rarely seen or heard about this situation coming out anything but catastrophic at some point… To each their own, she may get her feelings hurt when she realizes her hubby may like this, and he meets somebody else and gets rid of her altogether… her low self-esteem is really going to plummet.
Every man’s ultimate fantasy to end up with a wife like this 🙌🙌🙌
Nah a lot of men want to watch their women with other men surprisingly
“Born again Christian “ I guess there’s something she didn’t leave at the alter!