Hi Emily! Thank you for sharing your story, I know it must have been so hard ❤ honestly, I was scared of watching this episode because it's been a long time since my SA and I get scared to start reliving it. I'm in therapy and working through my childhood trauma but the hardest one to talk about is my SA. You talking about your SA was very insightful for me and helped me make connections I hadn't before so thank you ❤ I feel like I can relate to you so much, talking to other SA survivors and hearing their stories can be very healing even though it hurts so much at the same time. I especially relate to the part where you feel so much shame and confusion as to why you couldn't say no or walk away. I know you posted this a while a go, and I hope you've been able to heal and grow to forgive yourself that you weren't always able to say no or walk away, but I believe that the reason why we aren't able to say no or walk away is because of this societal narrative that we need to take care of men and their needs. That we need to feel special if they choose us and good girls do as they say. That we only exist to make men happy. Also, we learned from a very young age that men can get volatile and violent if they don't get their way. At least, that is my experience and what I've uncovered through my healing journey. I think that is why I never felt like I could say no or walk away which makes it harder to even accept that it was SA because men make us believe (gaslight us) that we wanted it because we did it. Though they never asked for consent and most of the time coerce you into doing it. I appreciate you being so brave to have this talk because it was so helpful for me and I hope for many others as well. I hope in the future you could make an update on your healing journey and I love when you dive deep in the history of important subjects! I would love to learn more about the me too movement!
Thank you Emily for sharing. I´m 37 and have been doing a ton of recovery around my SA´s and still...seeing you tear up, and Karbon validating your experiences was...really healing. thank you two!
I also feel compassion for my younger self and wish i could have told her so many things. I'm glad I'm getting to a good point now tho. thank y'all for sharing ❤
Thank you so much for this comment 💕 sorry for the late reply, releasing this video was definitely harder than expected. I think the compassion we feel for our younger selves is hard but purposeful. After the messages I’ve gotten from this video I think the challenges we’ve been through allow us to offer our love and experiences to others in a fearless way to hopefully save others from the pain we’ve felt. I’m so glad to hear you’re getting to a good point now, we’re always around if you need someone to listen. Xo
Such a good video. Thank you for voicing something that feels so relatable and yet often so alienating/isolating. This topic reaaally needs to be talked about more. You ARE brave and I needed this today. Sending love 💗
Thank you so much my love❤️ sorry for taking so long to respond sharing this video hit a litter harder than expected. I’m really really glad you enjoyed it, hearing that makes it feel like it was worth sharing. You found the perfect words “relatable yet alienating/ isolating”.
Thank you for sharing! I'm appalled that you have so many stories to share - IMHO too many. No one deserves the way you were treated by all these men. No woman or human being does. I can honestly relate to the feeling of discomfort being around men (due to negative interactions such as assault) and it also makes it even worse that my career and workplace are dominated by men. Where I find optimism though is where I stand and acting as an advocate of consent by educating those around me to make sure my immediate circle is aware of its importance. I'm honestly grateful that you are also doing your due diligence in educating your audience by sharing your experiences. Doing so not only helps us recognize that we are not alone - men truly suck and often feel entitiled - but it also further emphasizes that a lot of boys need to be educated on how to treat people right (not just women but especially women). Whether that happens at home, in school, through friends, it definitely needs a lot of work.
Oh there’s a reason…. And if you listen to the whole podcast the reasons are obvious. Plus, we never say all men but people who perceive it that way are the ones who project their own insecurities onto others
This episode inspired some reflection for me as a guy and the poor choices I made around consent. I've since learned that if my partner complies it doesn't necessarily mean they've given consent. I'm trying to do better now by making sure it's a hell yes instead of an "okay".
Thank you for sharing! You don’t know what you don’t know but it doesn’t mean we can’t learn! We’re also still learning. I think Pat, from our psychology of kink episode said it best: “hearing your no makes me trust your yes” so it’s important to encourage our potential partners to say no. Sending love 💕
I am so glad I found you two, both of you are educating and old dyke like me. Thanks for talking and bringing up subjects that we really need to talk about, you are paving the way for your sisters and future generations. Standing on the shoulders of Oprah and Rosie Odonell, two women from my day who openly talked about sexual abuse of their childhoods.
I appreciate you putting this out there specially on TH-cam where it feels like it’s so straight cis men out chea. More men should hear these type of stories. BraaaaaaAAAeeeevvve.
Thank you for sharing this. I can relate to it and I really haven't been able to talk about mine eventhough it has been almost 10 years or so since mine happened to me.
The fearof saying no is not just "Not to hurt someones feelings". it is not stupid. yes, there are better ways to learn to establish boundaries in social situaions, but women/female read peple saying no has LITERALLY gotten them killed, raped, or hurt way more. it is not just to protect the others feelings, which, yes IS a big part of it, cause women get socialized to serve men, to not have boundaries etc. but there is also a deep intrinsic knowledge, intuitively, somatically, that women/feminine folk have had to learn over centuries, millenia, to pick the smaller evil and go along with some things we don´t want to do, to prevent worse things from happening. i´m not saying its good that that is the case, but is is a very real reason for it. also: Emily not speaking up in this situation after texting her friend: might aswell just have been a trauma response. in a sitatuon like that your nervous system LITERALLY overrides your prefrontal lobe (that s the thinking brain) and decides FOR YOU. it´s in situation of life/death fear, your nervous system literally takes over, and decides to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn. and it is a REGULAR occurance for feminine people and women, that they are in situations like this and can´t move. i couldn´t move. and i blamed myself for it for a long time. but learning about poly vagal theory and its implications for SA survivors-..is huuuuge. your SOS brain part takes over, and decides whats best to keep you alive.it did a good job. we all are alive. the blame is not on us. it´s on them. and on society. cause it takes a fucking village to fuck up people so badly they walk around raping.
Hi Emily! Thank you for sharing your story, I know it must have been so hard ❤ honestly, I was scared of watching this episode because it's been a long time since my SA and I get scared to start reliving it. I'm in therapy and working through my childhood trauma but the hardest one to talk about is my SA. You talking about your SA was very insightful for me and helped me make connections I hadn't before so thank you ❤ I feel like I can relate to you so much, talking to other SA survivors and hearing their stories can be very healing even though it hurts so much at the same time. I especially relate to the part where you feel so much shame and confusion as to why you couldn't say no or walk away. I know you posted this a while a go, and I hope you've been able to heal and grow to forgive yourself that you weren't always able to say no or walk away, but I believe that the reason why we aren't able to say no or walk away is because of this societal narrative that we need to take care of men and their needs. That we need to feel special if they choose us and good girls do as they say. That we only exist to make men happy. Also, we learned from a very young age that men can get volatile and violent if they don't get their way. At least, that is my experience and what I've uncovered through my healing journey. I think that is why I never felt like I could say no or walk away which makes it harder to even accept that it was SA because men make us believe (gaslight us) that we wanted it because we did it. Though they never asked for consent and most of the time coerce you into doing it. I appreciate you being so brave to have this talk because it was so helpful for me and I hope for many others as well. I hope in the future you could make an update on your healing journey and I love when you dive deep in the history of important subjects! I would love to learn more about the me too movement!
Thank you Emily for sharing. I´m 37 and have been doing a ton of recovery around my SA´s and still...seeing you tear up, and Karbon validating your experiences was...really healing. thank you two!
SO important for young people to hear these kind of messages!
Thank you my love 🥲
I also feel compassion for my younger self and wish i could have told her so many things. I'm glad I'm getting to a good point now tho. thank y'all for sharing ❤
Thank you so much for this comment 💕 sorry for the late reply, releasing this video was definitely harder than expected. I think the compassion we feel for our younger selves is hard but purposeful. After the messages I’ve gotten from this video I think the challenges we’ve been through allow us to offer our love and experiences to others in a fearless way to hopefully save others from the pain we’ve felt. I’m so glad to hear you’re getting to a good point now, we’re always around if you need someone to listen. Xo
Such a good video. Thank you for voicing something that feels so relatable and yet often so alienating/isolating. This topic reaaally needs to be talked about more. You ARE brave and I needed this today. Sending love 💗
Thank you so much my love❤️ sorry for taking so long to respond sharing this video hit a litter harder than expected. I’m really really glad you enjoyed it, hearing that makes it feel like it was worth sharing. You found the perfect words “relatable yet alienating/ isolating”.
Thank you for sharing! I'm appalled that you have so many stories to share - IMHO too many. No one deserves the way you were treated by all these men. No woman or human being does. I can honestly relate to the feeling of discomfort being around men (due to negative interactions such as assault) and it also makes it even worse that my career and workplace are dominated by men. Where I find optimism though is where I stand and acting as an advocate of consent by educating those around me to make sure my immediate circle is aware of its importance. I'm honestly grateful that you are also doing your due diligence in educating your audience by sharing your experiences. Doing so not only helps us recognize that we are not alone - men truly suck and often feel entitiled - but it also further emphasizes that a lot of boys need to be educated on how to treat people right (not just women but especially women). Whether that happens at home, in school, through friends, it definitely needs a lot of work.
Thank you so so much for your kind words
Good, society doesn't need their ilk and their special pride syndrome
Lesbians truly suck and have an entire entitlement movements that persecutes men for no reason.
Oh there’s a reason…. And if you listen to the whole podcast the reasons are obvious. Plus, we never say all men but people who perceive it that way are the ones who project their own insecurities onto others
This episode inspired some reflection for me as a guy and the poor choices I made around consent. I've since learned that if my partner complies it doesn't necessarily mean they've given consent. I'm trying to do better now by making sure it's a hell yes instead of an "okay".
Thank you for sharing! You don’t know what you don’t know but it doesn’t mean we can’t learn! We’re also still learning. I think Pat, from our psychology of kink episode said it best: “hearing your no makes me trust your yes” so it’s important to encourage our potential partners to say no. Sending love 💕
every sex ed class in the world should have to watch this podcast
I am so glad I found you two, both of you are educating and old dyke like me. Thanks for talking and bringing up subjects that we really need to talk about, you are paving the way for your sisters and future generations. Standing on the shoulders of Oprah and Rosie Odonell, two women from my day who openly talked about sexual abuse of their childhoods.
Thank you so much for watching and all your sweet words ♥️ we appreciate that very much 🥲 hope you keep following along with our other videos
Oprah was running a sex ring orphanage
This is relatable how?….
sending love, so very brave, thank you for sharing your story!
Thank you for sharing 💜
💞💞
I appreciate you putting this out there specially on TH-cam where it feels like it’s so straight cis men out chea. More men should hear these type of stories.
BraaaaaaAAAeeeevvve.
Thank you so much! 💕
Thank you for sharing this. I can relate to it and I really haven't been able to talk about mine eventhough it has been almost 10 years or so since mine happened to me.
The fearof saying no is not just "Not to hurt someones feelings". it is not stupid. yes, there are better ways to learn to establish boundaries in social situaions, but women/female read peple saying no has LITERALLY gotten them killed, raped, or hurt way more. it is not just to protect the others feelings, which, yes IS a big part of it, cause women get socialized to serve men, to not have boundaries etc. but there is also a deep intrinsic knowledge, intuitively, somatically, that women/feminine folk have had to learn over centuries, millenia, to pick the smaller evil and go along with some things we don´t want to do, to prevent worse things from happening. i´m not saying its good that that is the case, but is is a very real reason for it.
also: Emily not speaking up in this situation after texting her friend: might aswell just have been a trauma response. in a sitatuon like that your nervous system LITERALLY overrides your prefrontal lobe (that s the thinking brain) and decides FOR YOU. it´s in situation of life/death fear, your nervous system literally takes over, and decides to fight, flee, freeze, or fawn. and it is a REGULAR occurance for feminine people and women, that they are in situations like this and can´t move. i couldn´t move. and i blamed myself for it for a long time. but learning about poly vagal theory and its implications for SA survivors-..is huuuuge. your SOS brain part takes over, and decides whats best to keep you alive.it did a good job. we all are alive. the blame is not on us. it´s on them. and on society. cause it takes a fucking village to fuck up people so badly they walk around raping.