I swear to God, i have never seen a therapist who gives this good advice. I myself am in therapy with a very decent therapist but Emma your techniques have helped me so immensely. Unlike others you don't talk abstract ideas, you make it it so damn practical and applicable. Love your approach. May God reward you for all the free help you are offering
Same! I had a cool therapist who listened to me talk for an hour. Which was great. I learned that routine is the best way to get through a difficult time i.e. divorce but I didn’t get practical insight or techniques like I do from this channel.
I remember seeing this quote on the wall of a restaurant when i was in a really crumby situation. I now have that quote above my bed to help me remember that negative things are based on perspective and that there is always a silver lining or lesson to a pursumed negative situation.
The best advice I received in paramedic training was “your patient’s emergency is not your emergency. Skill saves not emotions.” Complete paradigm shift.
I don’t have anxiety but I have ADHD and my nervous system is constantly “on”. Fatigue and burnout are real. Downregulating the sympathetic nervous system is crucial.
Good if you could have massage daily to soothe the body & train it to relax. And to find out what it is you're running from or why you are on run mode?? If it's fear based to be able to face it with someone wise & caring.
It might be that it's actually a trauma response. Not every psychologist/psychiatrist believes there's as much ADHD out there as is currently'diagnosed' (diagnosis being a list of symptoms that could be due to many things, it's not a scientific diagnosis)
Thank you for the phrase "I am safe enough right now." Frequently people will tell you to tell yourself you're safe but when you have an overactive imagination you can come up with lots of reasons why you're technically not safe or could be at risk. But safe enough, is a lot more calming to my mind. I am safe enough right now to relax, or...(fill in the blank with an action I want to complete).
Yes, and sometimes a person is not truly safe. I've noticed that most people who tell others to say that they're safe are often living in safe middle-class or better neighborhoods. I'm poor, and it is not truly safe where I live, so why lie to myself? However, I can find moments when I can honestly say I'm safe enough. I'm usually not in a crisis situation, although I could be at any moment. Reality check.
The reality of my life is that I am not safe. I have tried many different things to regulate my nervous system but it is very difficult when you are:poor without access to supports,have chronic illnesses, and live in a unstable housing situation.In addition I deal with multiple mental illnesses. I think this video is very exclusionary to all of us who are not part of the privileged class.
Yes, thank you! I have always been entirely confused by the affirmation “I am safe”. My brain and nervous system strongly oppose that idea! It’s the same thing with the affirmation often said during guided meditations/yoga “You are exactly where you need to be right now. There is nowhere to go, nothing to do.” Like, what?!? I’m relieved to know that I am not the only person for whom these affirmations backfire!
As a professor who has been coming home, collapsing on her couch, and watching TH-cam, I appreciate this post😂 Also thankful to whatever algorithm that cause me to even see this🙏Thank you, Emma.
Emma you've changed my life... you still are doing it. You can't know the extension of your work. It has been like heaven sent. Thank you SO much from the opposite side of the continent. 🇦🇷
This is life changing for daily life, i have practised this and my energy levels and health is restoring. I dont rush anymore. I dont hold my breath n have a pounding heart while working anymore. Im not trying to grocery shop as fast as possible. Im not rushing. If i dont wanna be late i make sure to leave in good time. If im late for a not so important situatipn, 5 minutes of running around n rushing isnt going to help me.
You nailed it. That has been my biggest Takeaway as far as mental health as well. As far as simple specific habits, just not rushing when I do things has been the biggest help for my mental state. After a while, I realized that I was just rushing around so I could get back to sitting down on the couch that much faster.. and laughed at myself.
Yes but I see that as a new problem to solve. Becuase I dont like to be late. So im not willing to stress and not willing to be late. That means i need to figure out how to deal with that :) for me making a plan and stickning to it and not procrastinating things like getting ready, showering making to do lists of what i need to bring with me maybe pack the day before:)) i used to be chronically late and stressed so u kind of have to break two cycles :) @@Heyu7her3
Your videos have been FUNDAMENTAL to my healing of PTSD. I've been watching them for years now and have recommended your work to many people. I'm so grateful. Thank you
I learned this while on a flight. I HATE flying. Everyone always said that the more I did it, the easier it would get, but that was never the case. So every flight I'm in a hyper anxious state on the verge of a panic attack. In my last flight, I took a moment before take off to become aware of my body and my safety. I noticed I was sitting with my legs crossed, biting my lip, and my hands were sweating. I told myself that if I force myself into a relaxed state physically, it might trick my brain into not being nervous. So I uncrossed my legs and put my feet flat on the floor, I laid my hands out at my sides with my palms up, and I smiled. I stayed this way during take off and there was a serious noticeable difference in my anxiety. I was also practicing my grounding technique. I typically will count slowly, sing a song, or talk to myself in my head about how excited I am about reaching my destination. Now, this becomes difficult when we hit some turbulence. But, I have made myself watch lots of videos about what turbulence is and have come to understand how safe flight is. I tell myself when feeling turbulence "it's uncomfortable but totally normal and not dangerous". These have helped me a LOT but It is still a constant battle
I had the same problem and I was flying a lot for work. It took a long time for it to go away but it eventually did. It helped me a bit to go on roller coasters or rides where you are falling fast. I think the main fear of flying is the fear of falling. Hope that helps.
I HAAAATE flying too!! It’s bad I freak out the entire time and just stare out the the window I can’t focus on anything else. Your comment was helpful.. thank you.
Very helpful! I had a season of homelessness that was extremely stressful. Even though I’m back on top now, my body still needs to recover fully. “I am safe here right now!” Perfect.
4:00 Why relaxation = avoidance = continuing anxiety 4:45 Continual practice through the day -> exercise the parasympathetic muscle 5:25 relax _during_ the situation 5:30 How
I love “I am safe enough right now”. I like how you used the popular phrase “Life isn’t about learning for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” and saw dancing in the rain as our parasympathetic cue. I think that’s awesome. Another thing that I think might help is for people to maintain a consistent awareness of their environment to identify problems early and decide on interventions. This doesn't mean being on edge but rather being observant and prepared.
Yes!! To all you stated. Your videos are super helpful, also. You and Emma are my go-to YT counselors. Have watched your All CEU channel and comprehend videos eventhough I am not a counselor. Thanks for all you.
1-Scan your body for stress 2-stretch 3-breathe 4-say a positive affirmation, like "this is easy, I got this" and for me 5-imagine how good it will be when the task is over. 6-take a short break between tasks as a reward
Watching movies/tv continues to create stress. Since the mind can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality, whatever netflix we watch is perceived as ACTUALLY HAPPENING. Our bodies continue to internalize the stress. We CAN use the handle-in-the-moment technique you’ve taught in this video. But without the emotional high of whatever is happening in the show, the movie loses its point. It’s like constantly being reminded that Frodo is fine & “Lord of the Rings” isn’t real while watching. It spoils the experience. Which supports the idea that Netflix, movies, etc is not the best way to de-stress.
Children can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Adult brains can. Overthinking and getting caught up in the moment is not failing to distinguish fantasy from reality.
Emma, this is definitely your dharma, your life purpose. May life be wonderful and generous to you, as you are to others (and I really believe that!). A warm hug, from BR. =)
I’d been waiting to watch your video, and I’m so glad today was the day. A new job that’s trying to make me stick 12 hours of work into each 8 hour day. I was so overwhelmed when I finished today that I literally screamed at my dogs. Not raised my voice, not yelled, screamed. Listening to you I realized that those many many triggers had built up and I was done. Stick a fork in me done. This has been going on for years. You explained it all so well. When I’m afraid I usually calm myself with two quick breaths in and one longer one out. As you were talking I started doing it. I feel like I’ve just gone from 100 down to 40 on the insanely angry level. I never correlated my anxiety with fear, even though I had a mother who physically abused me from the age of 6. It makes so much sense now. Thank you ❤
Dancing tells your nervous system that you are safe so dancing in the rain is great advice! Love the kind heartedness of this girl. Her humble and joyful delivery is healing all by itself. Also postural problems cause weakened energy fields which can cause SEVERE anxiety.
As a parent with four kids (while I'm working thru C-PTSD) this is seriously a life saver! I have already started doing some of these things, and it helps! I'll need to try out the 15 minute timer thing to really take it to the next level, though.
Thank you! I feel like therapists would never provide this much advice and detail even after numerous appointments and thousands of dollars! You are contributing to the wellness of so many who can not otherwise afford it in a big Pharma governed industry. Thank you
Wow! Thank you so much, Emma. Powerful perspective! I'm in fight or flight all day everyday and so tired. Seeing them as micro-stressors makes it all make sense and is now easier to work with. You are a true hero. ❤
I set my phone to notify me every hour, reminding me to box breathe and ground by accessing the vagus nerve by tapping, stomping my feet. What's great about it is I do it with my students. If I ignore the reminder, my body misses the ans body break. Like you said Emma, we strengthen what we use. Thank you so much for making these informative videos. ❤
The quote at the end reminds me of a good one I know that I heard from a video game back in the day. "I didn't ask God for an easier life, I asked God to help make me a better man." Good video, I'm going to make it a point to focus on this more, which should help, thanks.
That's a really great video. I'm a therapist myself and I work with somatic techniques to help people develop more awareness of themselves, reorganize behaviors and learn how to self-regulate. You video has certainly enriched my repertoire and gave me ideias to use with my clients. Thank you! By the way, putting a little bit of my experience for whomever this might be suitable: One thing that can help the grounding step is using hands and/or feet. You can, for example, after getting awareness of your body, press the feet slightly against the floor and open it softly, or caress the tip of your fingers with your thumb, open and close your hands slowly. Hands and feet have an incredible number of nervous endings and by using them consciously helps engage the structures that changes behavior patterns. Experiment with them and see how you feel. Hope this helps!
A few more that I use regularly and find massively helpful are, Peter Levine's technique where you cross your arms in front of your body and squeeze your upper arms (works well in public places as can be done without drawing attention). Stamping your feet and shaking your body, and the vagal nerve neck stretch. Thank you so much for sharing re the relaxed hypervigilance and the system to reprogram/train ourselves. Sending wishes for a healthy, healed and happy future to anyone reading 🙏
You pinged so many of the things that trouble me and also ways I've learned to cope in the past, that I forgot how to do. I broke 2 years ago in such a profound way after being betrayed within a kindred group I found. I was able to feel very comfortable after being persistent, over 3 years, in quashing my fears and just "doing it anyway", allowing myself to feel accepted and joining in on things. I eventually started to really blossom and grow. And then the betrayal broke me to pieces. I'm trying to get back. You remind me of ways I taught myself to break through always feeling like an outsider that kept me feeling alone most of my life. I'll try this idea and tell some of my friends who have the same kind of issues.
Thank you for this! I’m a school psychologist and noticed that I was in survival mode and counting the days until the weekend or break, just to feel tense during time off! This is SO helpful. Thank you! ❤
By the end of the work week, I am exhausted and need to weekend to regroup and rest. Just yesterday I was wondering if there was a better way to relax and unwind throughout the week so I'm not so beat by Friday, and you might have just posted the answer! Thank you!
Yes and no.Trying to be happy in a shitty situation has it's limits and anyone who says it dosen't isn't in it forever.Somtimes you gotta look beyond the present restriction.At least thats been my experience this far.But good luck if that viewpoint works for you✌️
I developed health anxiety, and scanning my body every 15 minutes sounds horrible. I do use grounding techniques, but they are more based on deliberately laughing (actual physical laughing) at what my brain/body now came up with. Or talking to that part of myself like a small kid: "Aww, you really want to protect me and keep me safe. Thank you for letting me know, now you can let it go." Or doing funny or silly things with my body, because the boogie-woogie shakes out the jittery feeling plus you wouldn't do a silly dance if there was any danger.
Awesome stuff. In the same vein, sometimes I will kind of giggle to myself and wink a little-sometimes physically, sometimes mentally-but basically react to myself the same way I would react to a little child who is nervous for no real reason
I do very similar things! The silly movements and talking to my brain, but next time I'll try talking to it like a child. The other night I was having bad anxiety ruminations, so I imagined my anxiety as a scary dark shadow standing in the corner of my room, which I know sounds counterintuitive, but I imagined myself dancing and singing the SpongeBob SquarePants theme tune at it with my whole heart because it disempowered it lol
I had a neurologist tell me to randomly tense up and then relax and then after your muscles will naturally relax. I have issues with holding tension in my body to deal with stress, which all my life is stress and dealing with problems and stress. Made such a difference in my life.
This is called the contract-relax technique and you can use it for stretching too! First tense the muscle you want to stretch, relax it, and if it's available, maybe deepen your stretch. Paired with a good breath is basically yin yoga. Which also teaches you how to find comfort in the uncomfortable.
This mixture of explaining the reasoning behind behaviours plus giving practical advice is really so helpful. It’s really making me feel hopeful when previously I just thought something was inherently wrong with me. Thank you so much.
Long Covid directly breaks the prefrontal cortex and causes anxiety and panic. I was forced to learn to manually calm myself down, over and over, hours a day, for years. Best skill I’ve ever developed.
@@FantasticDrumsthere are so many amazing nervous system programs out there now for long covid recovery. Check out Rebecca Tolins TH-cam channel, Your Grateful Guides TH-cam channel, CFS School, Vital Side, That Healing Feeling (check Insta for some of these too). You can heal. It’s so possible with the proper nervous system work ❤
the quote that you concluded this video with, "....learn how to dance in the rain" was the quote that I really harped on when beginning my healing journey over 10 yrs ago... there was a time that I couldn't see a way out of my nervousness and need for substances, bad behaviors, avoidance, self sabotage, etc.. but now as today is the eve of my 40th bday those feelings are lessening day by day, and I have changed/transitioned... and the universe keeps reinforcing my positive health choices with confirmations! I really enjoyed this video, and would like to make a list of more micro grounding techniques to try! xx,j
As someone who gets wound up tighter and tighter as I go about my business, requiring periods of quiet and stillness to recharge, this is so helpful! Thanks so much! ❤
This technique works. I'm a lifelong people pleaser, and have been anxious enough to cause nerve injuries several times. I set up a reminder (at random times) to check in and downregulate (mostly just a yawn or two). After a few months, I feel noticeably more chill. Super helpful, thanks!
What is also a good exercise is focusing on your feet throughout the day. Try to feel your feet, the bottom of you’re feet, the inside of you’re. you’re literally grounding yourself which make you feel relaxed. You can do it while you’re cooking, exercising, watching tv, whatever it is what you’re doing. It really works. But give it time, it doesn’t work in one day
I’ve had a few years of EMDR+IFS and read/watched a lot about somatic methods, and been practicing Zen formally for 16 years… and the well rounded concise and useful practice focus of this 13 minute video is fantastic! Everything is practice, and these skillful tools help. Relaxed vigilance explanation is gold. Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you so much for this information.. you explained exactly how I used to manage my workload stress. But by me watching your videos I'm learning how to identify my stress triggers my emotions and my thoughts. Thank you very much
I’ve had 7 kids and never had anxiety, even though I had PTSD from DV. I recently got diagnosed because of a breast cancer diagnosis and my own graduate professor overtly discriminating against me and trying to force me to drop the course because I didn’t use her suggested templates and used a Native American Medicine Wheel instead. She was super sweet for most of the course and then totally turned on me, sent very aggressive messages, said she “couldn’t allow “me to have my “assignments uploaded where the other students could see them because it will make them feel uncomfortable.” Yes, I’m filing a grievance and grade appeal, but my nerves are totally shot.
I really like that you mention the aspect that some people believe they MUST FEEL STRESSED during a stressful situation. This resonated with me because I feel like if I dont react in a stressed way then I must not care about the outcome or other people will think I don't care or if I'm not "feeling" the stress, I might not be effective in dealing with stressful situations. It's hard to change the physical response if you're thinking that your stressed out response is somehow "helping" you. Hearing this today has helped me go back to noticing these thoughts and reminding myself that being stressed is not actually showing people I care or helping me make sure everything is under control. Its just making me feel hypervigilent all of the time
I never knew about checking in with our bodies until I started trauma therapy 2 years ago, and my therapist mentioned it as a suggestion and explained it, so I tried it not sure how to do it, and when I did what I call a "body check in" I started learning more and how it works. Now I set an alarm on my phone every 4 hours per day and even if I'm feeling ok, I do them listening to some calm meditation piano or guitar music, and when I'm stressed I notice more about what my body is telling me and how to breathe and calm down. Usually I end up meditating during them and sometimes fall asleep. Thank you for this video and sharing all this info. Your videos are very helpful for me in between sessions, and I have even shared your channel and some videos with my therapist. She loves seeing the work I do in between sessions and that I shared some of my tools with her. Thank you Emma, for being my unpaid therapist.
Thank you so much. I've been freelancing for many years and I noticed in recent years I've been getting more and more into a cycle of doing everything immediately and being unable to relax until it's done, but then of course there's always more. This is such good advice!
Your body language is absolutely on another level. Even when you blink it is like an engaging separate action but somehow still part of your entire communication. Every movement is x10, but not exaggerated, it's expanded and wonderful.
You are an absolute Godsend. Been watching your videos wrestling through postpartum depression/anxiety and I can’t even put into words how much they’ve helped me. God bless you for everything you have done through this channel. Thank you so so much!!
Relaxed vigilance makes a lot of sense for someone who feels that it's not safe to relax because ... many reasons from being called lazy to letting your guard down leaves you unprepared. Something worth developing!
I've been meditating and micro meditating. At end of day I take time coloring. After a horrible car accident I retrain myself with happy things. It helps get emotions out, journaling. Micro journaling also helps.
Ive put that quote at the end of my cool lifeguard working days, when i used to clear the stress out of all people and be happiest and strongest, and when i switched to my field of study career ive forgot it and dived into unfortunate havoc jobs with unfortunately uneducated people, nice to see that quote back made my day
My brother has just passed away and he fought cancer for 3 years. Im grieving. But im also hyperaware of cancer now! Im scared. And everything worries me. I miss him so much and My aged parents are heaetbroken, so ive got so much happening. I habe anxiety thats through the roof and I'm back to taking valium whenever im tense. Im hoping its just for a season.
I have five pages of notes to remind me of the major points throughout the video. I will refer to these notes, as I do to others, while practicing and habitualizing your excellent presentation. Thanks!
I love that you give several really good grounding ideas without making your audience wait for hours of explanations of the problem first. And, I am a retired professor who can totally relate to the work stressors of academia. I wish I knew this stuff 30 years ago to survive it all better. The stress made me sick and I had to leave my career early. What you are doing to help people has a huge reach. Thank you.
This video was so soothing, and arrived at the perfect time for me. Thank you for this beautiful and helpful content, Emma. You have helped me so much. 💓
Your an amazing individual! Every day i have been waking up feeling tense and not sure why. This knowledge and understanding equips me to overcome my nerves. I will be snapping up whatever you serve and be sure you are helping other people which is a great service to your fellow humans.
Great advise! I paused your video halfway through and downloaded the Lotus Bud ap and set it up. I continued your video and was feeling all soft and relaxed when the ap chime went off (it was set to loud) which startled me and caused a little adrenaline rush. (I turned the volume down). Thanks for your excellent videos 😄
my girlfriend and her daughter left me yesterday. you said "rejection is a survival threat". makes sense. my black and white thinking has skyrocketed and I'm panicking nonstop... and crushing depression
First is accepting .. I know that's crap Meantime put yourself first... be very kind to yourself .. focus on your needs allowing feelings to be expressed.. you may need lots more rest . Try not to rely on numbing the feelings with alcohol etc binge eating etc treat your body well
Amazing video, thank you for sharing. Especially the part about “we all learned to be stressed when there’s stuff to do, and there’s always stuff to do” resonated
This video sparks bright hope for me especially since I live with threats as a consequence of my work. Thank you so much! I feel I must either learn to self regulate better or quit the work I love - because I don't want to live the rest of my life with my current stress level. I'll listen to this video whenever I need, and also check out the work you mentioned, of Eric Gentry on relaxed vigilance.
Thank you for sharing this I'm so tired of being stressed out all the time so much negativity around me and lots of triggers in my daily work routine. Nice to know that I can prepare myself and take breaks throughout my day when I do have brakes and actively combat my nervous system wrecking havoc on my mental health. It's a great support to know that even though I cannot prevent stressors from happening I can prepare my body ahead of time to reset , strengthen and maintain a healthy nervous system. Thank you😊
The first 5 minutes of this video caused my stress to increase. I wanted to know the answer, I didn't want you to go over all my triggers and get me triggered.
This was so clearly explained and included so many helpful ideas and practices. I am a health care professional and I will be using this video to help my clients understand and regulate their nervous system. Thanks for such a great, educational resource!
I love this concept of a bottom-up approach to nervous system regulation in contrast to a 'top-down' approach. Both are good for different situations. Top-down starting in the mind and with our thoughts.
It might also be fair to mention that police officer is one of the top 10 professions of psychopaths and psychopaths are biologically incapable of being traumatized and when their life is threatened they feel what the rest of us call exhilaration instead of fear. That makes "relaxed" a psychopath's default state even when someone has a gun pointed directly at their t-box. Those police officers who get PTSD are often the most empathic, good-hearted of the LEOs. ...but I agree, creating a mental bubble around yourself and walking this world in a state of relaxed vigilance is the way to go if you can pull it off 15-16 out of 24 hours of the day. I'll keep practicing. The mantra I say to myself as I walk the hall to my office, to/from the bathroom, and to the care is this: "I walk the world with calm confidence knowing I can effectively handle any situation that should come my way". Seriously. Been doing this for months and I'm shocked what a difference it has made. (Note: I've had PTSD from a predator before, but I'm not an anxious person by nature (nor was I before the event).
Thank you for sharing, this was so helpful to read. I'm really really sorry you had to go through that. Please continue on your healing journey, sending you a good vibe from around the world ❤️👍
I love the way you explain how things work in the body and the brain and how we can use that knowledge to feel and function better. Instead of feeling that everything is just happening to us, we learn how to influence the way we can deal with things in our best possible way. Great combination of knowledge and different techniques explained in a clear and gentle way. This should be taught in schools! Thanks from the Netherlands 🙂
People you gotta get of the screens. I just saw a Gen X documentary from 1991 and the differences between people then and now is astonishing. Go and take a look at it and see how chill and normal people were just being themselves. Because they had no phones ruining their lives 😂
Seriously? They were all plugged into their Game Boys! It’s Covid that’s caused the change-people just couldn’t mentally handle that the grocery store cashier was a necessary job and their job wasn’t. Phones help us stay connected and give us someone to contact during a panic attack, instead of shutting the whole world out while over obsessed on a Game Boy.
Thanks for your help Emma! So much more appreciated then I could explain here in a comment but it's meant the world to me to have your amazing information and compassion ❤ You've truly helped make life so much better for so many
I swear to God, i have never seen a therapist who gives this good advice. I myself am in therapy with a very decent therapist but Emma your techniques have helped me so immensely. Unlike others you don't talk abstract ideas, you make it it so damn practical and applicable. Love your approach. May God reward you for all the free help you are offering
Get to know Jesus, stop swearing to God, and you will have peace beyond all understanding.
@@proverbs3150 Take your condescending religious comment out of here, its completely irrelevant
@@proverbs3150100%!!
@@proverbs3150100%
Same! I had a cool therapist who listened to me talk for an hour. Which was great. I learned that routine is the best way to get through a difficult time i.e. divorce but I didn’t get practical insight or techniques like I do from this channel.
I really like that saying in the end: life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
❤ I love this, so helpful.
My wife has this tattood down her side 😊
@@norcalzack Wow! 💥
I remember seeing this quote on the wall of a restaurant when i was in a really crumby situation. I now have that quote above my bed to help me remember that negative things are based on perspective and that there is always a silver lining or lesson to a pursumed negative situation.
@@Encaris Awesome! Thanks for sharing.
This master of hyper vigilance appreciates knowing there is something called relaxed vigilance! Thank you.
The best advice I received in paramedic training was “your patient’s emergency is not your emergency. Skill saves not emotions.” Complete paradigm shift.
I love this!
Very good.
That’s helpful ⛑️
I don’t have anxiety but I have ADHD and my nervous system is constantly “on”. Fatigue and burnout are real. Downregulating the sympathetic nervous system is crucial.
Good if you could have massage daily to soothe the body & train it to relax.
And to find out what it is you're running from or why you are on run mode??
If it's fear based to be able to face it with someone wise & caring.
Same here I think the stimulants I take keep it in overdrive sometimes and it gets me through shutdown but with a cost.
It might be that it's actually a trauma response. Not every psychologist/psychiatrist believes there's as much ADHD out there as is currently'diagnosed' (diagnosis being a list of symptoms that could be due to many things, it's not a scientific diagnosis)
Thank you for the phrase "I am safe enough right now." Frequently people will tell you to tell yourself you're safe but when you have an overactive imagination you can come up with lots of reasons why you're technically not safe or could be at risk. But safe enough, is a lot more calming to my mind. I am safe enough right now to relax, or...(fill in the blank with an action I want to complete).
Yes
Yes, and sometimes a person is not truly safe. I've noticed that most people who tell others to say that they're safe are often living in safe middle-class or better neighborhoods. I'm poor, and it is not truly safe where I live, so why lie to myself? However, I can find moments when I can honestly say I'm safe enough. I'm usually not in a crisis situation, although I could be at any moment. Reality check.
I completely agree, 'you're safe' feels like gaslighting in this world, but 'safe enough' is usually true.
The reality of my life is that I am not safe. I have tried many different things to regulate my nervous system but it is very difficult when you are:poor without access to supports,have chronic illnesses, and live in a unstable housing situation.In addition I deal with multiple mental illnesses. I think this video is very exclusionary to all of us who are not part of the privileged class.
Yes, thank you! I have always been entirely confused by the affirmation “I am safe”. My brain and nervous system strongly oppose that idea! It’s the same thing with the affirmation often said during guided meditations/yoga “You are exactly where you need to be right now. There is nowhere to go, nothing to do.” Like, what?!? I’m relieved to know that I am not the only person for whom these affirmations backfire!
As a professor who has been coming home, collapsing on her couch, and watching TH-cam, I appreciate this post😂 Also thankful to whatever algorithm that cause me to even see this🙏Thank you, Emma.
Hahaha. I am one of those professors also. 😂. Thanks Emma. That was great.
I read this before she got to the example and thought, "that's really weird. I am too." :P
Emma you've changed my life... you still are doing it. You can't know the extension of your work. It has been like heaven sent. Thank you SO much from the opposite side of the continent. 🇦🇷
Aguante Argentina ❤
@@TherapyinaNutshell Geniaaaa ♥ abrazos desde Córdoba
I didn't know her name is Emma
She is amazing.i have no words about how much you help me
This is life changing for daily life, i have practised this and my energy levels and health is restoring. I dont rush anymore. I dont hold my breath n have a pounding heart while working anymore. Im not trying to grocery shop as fast as possible. Im not rushing. If i dont wanna be late i make sure to leave in good time. If im late for a not so important situatipn, 5 minutes of running around n rushing isnt going to help me.
You nailed it. That has been my biggest Takeaway as far as mental health as well. As far as simple specific habits, just not rushing when I do things has been the biggest help for my mental state. After a while, I realized that I was just rushing around so I could get back to sitting down on the couch that much faster.. and laughed at myself.
It's cute til you're a chronically late person because "slowing down" means you lose track of time (even with alarms) 🥲
Yes but I see that as a new problem to solve. Becuase I dont like to be late. So im not willing to stress and not willing to be late. That means i need to figure out how to deal with that :) for me making a plan and stickning to it and not procrastinating things like getting ready, showering making to do lists of what i need to bring with me maybe pack the day before:)) i used to be chronically late and stressed so u kind of have to break two cycles :)
@@Heyu7her3
I thought I was the only one who was rushing around and holding my breath!
Your videos have been FUNDAMENTAL to my healing of PTSD. I've been watching them for years now and have recommended your work to many people. I'm so grateful. Thank you
Your 10-20 min videos are more healing than sessions of in person therapy! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 thank you!
I learned this while on a flight. I HATE flying. Everyone always said that the more I did it, the easier it would get, but that was never the case. So every flight I'm in a hyper anxious state on the verge of a panic attack. In my last flight, I took a moment before take off to become aware of my body and my safety. I noticed I was sitting with my legs crossed, biting my lip, and my hands were sweating. I told myself that if I force myself into a relaxed state physically, it might trick my brain into not being nervous. So I uncrossed my legs and put my feet flat on the floor, I laid my hands out at my sides with my palms up, and I smiled. I stayed this way during take off and there was a serious noticeable difference in my anxiety. I was also practicing my grounding technique. I typically will count slowly, sing a song, or talk to myself in my head about how excited I am about reaching my destination. Now, this becomes difficult when we hit some turbulence. But, I have made myself watch lots of videos about what turbulence is and have come to understand how safe flight is. I tell myself when feeling turbulence "it's uncomfortable but totally normal and not dangerous". These have helped me a LOT but It is still a constant battle
That is why I take the train. 🫣
Hope lot of Flyers in ur situation can be helped by this.
I had the same problem and I was flying a lot for work. It took a long time for it to go away but it eventually did. It helped me a bit to go on roller coasters or rides where you are falling fast. I think the main fear of flying is the fear of falling. Hope that helps.
I HAAAATE flying too!! It’s bad I freak out the entire time and just stare out the the window I can’t focus on anything else. Your comment was helpful.. thank you.
Very helpful! I had a season of homelessness that was extremely stressful. Even though I’m back on top now, my body still needs to recover fully. “I am safe here right now!” Perfect.
4:00 Why relaxation = avoidance = continuing anxiety
4:45 Continual practice through the day -> exercise the parasympathetic muscle
5:25 relax _during_ the situation
5:30 How
I love “I am safe enough right now”. I like how you used the popular phrase “Life isn’t about learning for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” and saw dancing in the rain as our parasympathetic cue. I think that’s awesome. Another thing that I think might help is for people to maintain a consistent awareness of their environment to identify problems early and decide on interventions. This doesn't mean being on edge but rather being observant and prepared.
Yes!! To all you stated. Your videos are super helpful, also. You and Emma are my go-to YT counselors. Have watched your All CEU channel and comprehend videos eventhough I am not a counselor. Thanks for all you.
but rain is a trigger for me 😂
1-Scan your body for stress
2-stretch
3-breathe
4-say a positive affirmation, like "this is easy, I got this" and for me
5-imagine how good it will be when the task is over.
6-take a short break between tasks as a reward
Your videos help me more than therapy sessions I've spent hundreds on. Thank you.🙂
Helpful video for one who's battling depression and gets nervous and anxious at everything
Watching movies/tv continues to create stress. Since the mind can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality, whatever netflix we watch is perceived as ACTUALLY HAPPENING. Our bodies continue to internalize the stress.
We CAN use the handle-in-the-moment technique you’ve taught in this video. But without the emotional high of whatever is happening in the show, the movie loses its point. It’s like constantly being reminded that Frodo is fine & “Lord of the Rings” isn’t real while watching. It spoils the experience.
Which supports the idea that Netflix, movies, etc is not the best way to de-stress.
Children can’t tell the difference between fantasy and reality. Adult brains can. Overthinking and getting caught up in the moment is not failing to distinguish fantasy from reality.
Emma, this is definitely your dharma, your life purpose. May life be wonderful and generous to you, as you are to others (and I really believe that!). A warm hug, from BR. =)
I’d been waiting to watch your video, and I’m so glad today was the day. A new job that’s trying to make me stick 12 hours of work into each 8 hour day.
I was so overwhelmed when I finished today that I literally screamed at my dogs. Not raised my voice, not yelled, screamed.
Listening to you I realized that those many many triggers had built up and I was done. Stick a fork in me done. This has been going on for years.
You explained it all so well. When I’m afraid I usually calm myself with two quick breaths in and one longer one out. As you were talking I started doing it. I feel like I’ve just gone from 100 down to 40 on the insanely angry level.
I never correlated my anxiety with fear, even though I had a mother who physically abused me from the age of 6.
It makes so much sense now. Thank you ❤
Ashwagandha had been enormously helpful in suppressing my anxiety responses.
Dancing tells your nervous system that you are safe so dancing in the rain is great advice! Love the kind heartedness of this girl. Her humble and joyful delivery is healing all by itself. Also postural problems cause weakened energy fields which can cause SEVERE anxiety.
interesting about posture..makes sense
As a parent with four kids (while I'm working thru C-PTSD) this is seriously a life saver! I have already started doing some of these things, and it helps! I'll need to try out the 15 minute timer thing to really take it to the next level, though.
Thank you! I feel like therapists would never provide this much advice and detail even after numerous appointments and thousands of dollars! You are contributing to the wellness of so many who can not otherwise afford it in a big Pharma governed industry. Thank you
Find a better therapist.
@@jos.5737 nonexistent
@@jos.5737good or even decent therapists are extremely hard to find.
Wow! Thank you so much, Emma. Powerful perspective! I'm in fight or flight all day everyday and so tired. Seeing them as micro-stressors makes it all make sense and is now easier to work with. You are a true hero. ❤
I set my phone to notify me every hour, reminding me to box breathe and ground by accessing the vagus nerve by tapping, stomping my feet. What's great about it is I do it with my students. If I ignore the reminder, my body misses the ans body break. Like you said Emma, we strengthen what we use. Thank you so much for making these informative videos. ❤
The quote at the end reminds me of a good one I know that I heard from a video game back in the day.
"I didn't ask God for an easier life, I asked God to help make me a better man."
Good video, I'm going to make it a point to focus on this more, which should help, thanks.
That's a really great video. I'm a therapist myself and I work with somatic techniques to help people develop more awareness of themselves, reorganize behaviors and learn how to self-regulate.
You video has certainly enriched my repertoire and gave me ideias to use with my clients.
Thank you!
By the way, putting a little bit of my experience for whomever this might be suitable:
One thing that can help the grounding step is using hands and/or feet.
You can, for example, after getting awareness of your body, press the feet slightly against the floor and open it softly, or caress the tip of your fingers with your thumb, open and close your hands slowly.
Hands and feet have an incredible number of nervous endings and by using them consciously helps engage the structures that changes behavior patterns. Experiment with them and see how you feel.
Hope this helps!
Thank you so much.
Thanks for that.
Do you have a website or anything??
A few more that I use regularly and find massively helpful are, Peter Levine's technique where you cross your arms in front of your body and squeeze your upper arms (works well in public places as can be done without drawing attention). Stamping your feet and shaking your body, and the vagal nerve neck stretch.
Thank you so much for sharing re the relaxed hypervigilance and the system to reprogram/train ourselves.
Sending wishes for a healthy, healed and happy future to anyone reading 🙏
You pinged so many of the things that trouble me and also ways I've learned to cope in the past, that I forgot how to do. I broke 2 years ago in such a profound way after being betrayed within a kindred group I found. I was able to feel very comfortable after being persistent, over 3 years, in quashing my fears and just "doing it anyway", allowing myself to feel accepted and joining in on things. I eventually started to really blossom and grow. And then the betrayal broke me to pieces. I'm trying to get back. You remind me of ways I taught myself to break through always feeling like an outsider that kept me feeling alone most of my life. I'll try this idea and tell some of my friends who have the same kind of issues.
Thank you for this! I’m a school psychologist and noticed that I was in survival mode and counting the days until the weekend or break, just to feel tense during time off! This is SO helpful. Thank you! ❤
"Relaxed Vigilance" is my new phrasing. Thank you. ❤🙏🏾❤️
My stress response in WAITING to hear how to stop stressing is stressing me out.
5:29 begins the answer for others like me
By the end of the work week, I am exhausted and need to weekend to regroup and rest. Just yesterday I was wondering if there was a better way to relax and unwind throughout the week so I'm not so beat by Friday, and you might have just posted the answer! Thank you!
Such an incredible thing! “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s learning to dance In the rain” 💜🙏Thank you!
Yes and no.Trying to be happy in a shitty situation has it's limits and anyone who says it dosen't isn't in it forever.Somtimes you gotta look beyond the present restriction.At least thats been my experience this far.But good luck if that viewpoint works for you✌️
I developed health anxiety, and scanning my body every 15 minutes sounds horrible. I do use grounding techniques, but they are more based on deliberately laughing (actual physical laughing) at what my brain/body now came up with. Or talking to that part of myself like a small kid: "Aww, you really want to protect me and keep me safe. Thank you for letting me know, now you can let it go."
Or doing funny or silly things with my body, because the boogie-woogie shakes out the jittery feeling plus you wouldn't do a silly dance if there was any danger.
I love the idea of how you tell yourself that your body wants to protect you and you tell your body to let go stress 🥰🥰
@@ishanibhardwaj421 I first developed it back when I decided I was done being scared of the dark.
CherelleThinks is a great TH-camr who talks about how to overcome health anxiety ❤
Awesome stuff. In the same vein, sometimes I will kind of giggle to myself and wink a little-sometimes physically, sometimes mentally-but basically react to myself the same way I would react to a little child who is nervous for no real reason
I do very similar things! The silly movements and talking to my brain, but next time I'll try talking to it like a child. The other night I was having bad anxiety ruminations, so I imagined my anxiety as a scary dark shadow standing in the corner of my room, which I know sounds counterintuitive, but I imagined myself dancing and singing the SpongeBob SquarePants theme tune at it with my whole heart because it disempowered it lol
Thank you endlessly for your work my dear Emma.
I had a neurologist tell me to randomly tense up and then relax and then after your muscles will naturally relax.
I have issues with holding tension in my body to deal with stress, which all my life is stress and dealing with problems and stress.
Made such a difference in my life.
Paired Muscle Relaxation. Gets the parasympathetic nervous activated
This is called the contract-relax technique and you can use it for stretching too! First tense the muscle you want to stretch, relax it, and if it's available, maybe deepen your stretch. Paired with a good breath is basically yin yoga. Which also teaches you how to find comfort in the uncomfortable.
This mixture of explaining the reasoning behind behaviours plus giving practical advice is really so helpful. It’s really making me feel hopeful when previously I just thought something was inherently wrong with me. Thank you so much.
Long Covid directly breaks the prefrontal cortex and causes anxiety and panic. I was forced to learn to manually calm myself down, over and over, hours a day, for years. Best skill I’ve ever developed.
I am in Long Covid right now and this is exactly what it feels. What techniques did you use and can you live a normal life again?
Same here, it a skill a wish I learnt years ago. How we think is how we feel
Can you point us to where you got this information?
@@FantasticDrumsthere are so many amazing nervous system programs out there now for long covid recovery. Check out Rebecca Tolins TH-cam channel, Your Grateful Guides TH-cam channel, CFS School, Vital Side, That Healing Feeling (check Insta for some of these too). You can heal. It’s so possible with the proper nervous system work ❤
@@FantasticDrums I’m far from recovered. No one has truly recovered. No, my life is completely different. I’ll be lucky if I can work ever again.
the quote that you concluded this video with, "....learn how to dance in the rain" was the quote that I really harped on when beginning my healing journey over 10 yrs ago... there was a time that I couldn't see a way out of my nervousness and need for substances, bad behaviors, avoidance, self sabotage, etc.. but now as today is the eve of my 40th bday those feelings are lessening day by day, and I have changed/transitioned... and the universe keeps reinforcing my positive health choices with confirmations! I really enjoyed this video, and would like to make a list of more micro grounding techniques to try! xx,j
Happy belated birthday! May the next decade bring you more and better than you can even imagine today. ❤✨
I am a paramedic and will definitely try to focus on relaxed vigilance on my next shift. Thank you!
Dr. Tim Fletcher does videos on secondary trauma (trauma with a little t not big T ) or complex trauma. It will help you 🙏 greatly.
As someone who gets wound up tighter and tighter as I go about my business, requiring periods of quiet and stillness to recharge, this is so helpful! Thanks so much! ❤
I love so many things about your work, I love how you talk lightly. Your videos are so safe to me. Thank you so much. God bless. ❤
Oh Emma, i hope you know how helpful you have been. You have been a true blessing for me. Thank you very much!
This technique works. I'm a lifelong people pleaser, and have been anxious enough to cause nerve injuries several times. I set up a reminder (at random times) to check in and downregulate (mostly just a yawn or two). After a few months, I feel noticeably more chill. Super helpful, thanks!
What is also a good exercise is focusing on your feet throughout the day. Try to feel your feet, the bottom of you’re feet, the inside of you’re. you’re literally grounding yourself which make you feel relaxed. You can do it while you’re cooking, exercising, watching tv, whatever it is what you’re doing. It really works. But give it time, it doesn’t work in one day
Thanks for all of your very helpful videos.
I’ve had a few years of EMDR+IFS and read/watched a lot about somatic methods, and been practicing Zen formally for 16 years… and the well rounded concise and useful practice focus of this 13 minute video is fantastic! Everything is practice, and these skillful tools help. Relaxed vigilance explanation is gold. Thank you 🙏🏽
Thank you so much for this information.. you explained exactly how I used to manage my workload stress. But by me watching your videos I'm learning how to identify my stress triggers my emotions and my thoughts. Thank you very much
Moms are good at this. I have 5 grown children and you need to be calm for your own good. I was better then than now that they are grown and gone
I’ve had 7 kids and never had anxiety, even though I had PTSD from DV. I recently got diagnosed because of a breast cancer diagnosis and my own graduate professor overtly discriminating against me and trying to force me to drop the course because I didn’t use her suggested templates and used a Native American Medicine Wheel instead. She was super sweet for most of the course and then totally turned on me, sent very aggressive messages, said she “couldn’t allow “me to have my “assignments uploaded where the other students could see them because it will make them feel uncomfortable.” Yes, I’m filing a grievance and grade appeal, but my nerves are totally shot.
I really like that you mention the aspect that some people believe they MUST FEEL STRESSED during a stressful situation. This resonated with me because I feel like if I dont react in a stressed way then I must not care about the outcome or other people will think I don't care or if I'm not "feeling" the stress, I might not be effective in dealing with stressful situations. It's hard to change the physical response if you're thinking that your stressed out response is somehow "helping" you. Hearing this today has helped me go back to noticing these thoughts and reminding myself that being stressed is not actually showing people I care or helping me make sure everything is under control. Its just making me feel hypervigilent all of the time
I never knew about checking in with our bodies until I started trauma therapy 2 years ago, and my therapist mentioned it as a suggestion and explained it, so I tried it not sure how to do it, and when I did what I call a "body check in" I started learning more and how it works. Now I set an alarm on my phone every 4 hours per day and even if I'm feeling ok, I do them listening to some calm meditation piano or guitar music, and when I'm stressed I notice more about what my body is telling me and how to breathe and calm down. Usually I end up meditating during them and sometimes fall asleep. Thank you for this video and sharing all this info. Your videos are very helpful for me in between sessions, and I have even shared your channel and some videos with my therapist. She loves seeing the work I do in between sessions and that I shared some of my tools with her. Thank you Emma, for being my unpaid therapist.
Thank you so much Emma, this is exactly what I needed to hear. Being in a stressful situation doesn't mean I have to feel stressed.
My old friend, the vagus nerve, here we meet again. Brilliant video, thanks for sharing it :) very well explained and applicable
Thanks
Emma, you are so valuable to me! Thank you for giving so much to this community and helping so many!
Thank you, Doctor Emma! This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I'm glad there's people like you out there trying to help.
Thank you so much. I've been freelancing for many years and I noticed in recent years I've been getting more and more into a cycle of doing everything immediately and being unable to relax until it's done, but then of course there's always more. This is such good advice!
Your body language is absolutely on another level. Even when you blink it is like an engaging separate action but somehow still part of your entire communication.
Every movement is x10, but not exaggerated, it's expanded and wonderful.
As a DBT therapist, I think you are brilliant! It is so rare to find a therapist with this knowledge.
You are an absolute Godsend. Been watching your videos wrestling through postpartum depression/anxiety and I can’t even put into words how much they’ve helped me. God bless you for everything you have done through this channel. Thank you so so much!!
Hello..I'm new to your channel, and words will NEVER express my gratitude..thanku goodness I found you!!!
If I can watch that video without my hands sweating, I consider that a success! Thank you for this. It is so timely for me!
Relaxed vigilance makes a lot of sense for someone who feels that it's not safe to relax because ... many reasons from being called lazy to letting your guard down leaves you unprepared. Something worth developing!
I've been meditating and micro meditating. At end of day I take time coloring. After a horrible car accident I retrain myself with happy things. It helps get emotions out, journaling. Micro journaling also helps.
What’s micro journaling?
I want to know this too
Ive put that quote at the end of my cool lifeguard working days, when i used to clear the stress out of all people and be happiest and strongest, and when i switched to my field of study career ive forgot it and dived into unfortunate havoc jobs with unfortunately uneducated people, nice to see that quote back made my day
Thank you so much 🍀, i was struggling witg anxiety from months but now i finally find a wave of hope 😊🙂🌸
Best of luck 🍀😄
My brother has just passed away and he fought cancer for 3 years. Im grieving. But im also hyperaware of cancer now! Im scared. And everything worries me. I miss him so much and My aged parents are heaetbroken, so ive got so much happening. I habe anxiety thats through the roof and I'm back to taking valium whenever im tense.
Im hoping its just for a season.
Das tut mir sehr leid für dich. Mein herzliches Beileid 😢 Fühl dich gedrückt und ich wünsche dir viel Kraft für die nächste Zeit.
❤❤❤❤❤
I have five pages of notes to remind me of the major points throughout the video. I will refer to these notes, as I do to others, while practicing and habitualizing your excellent presentation. Thanks!
Such practical habits! I'm downloading this video to rewatch every so often so I can refresh the implementation in my life. Thanks, Emma!
Emma, you have no idea how much you’ve helped me! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for providing A+ content. You’re changing lives ❤
Emma!! Thanks for you knowledge and ministry.
I appreciate the professor example - I always thought I was just broken, to feel so stressed after teaching. You broke it down perfectly
I love that you give several really good grounding ideas without making your audience wait for hours of explanations of the problem first. And, I am a retired professor who can totally relate to the work stressors of academia. I wish I knew this stuff 30 years ago to survive it all better. The stress made me sick and I had to leave my career early. What you are doing to help people has a huge reach. Thank you.
This video was so soothing, and arrived at the perfect time for me. Thank you for this beautiful and helpful content, Emma. You have helped me so much. 💓
Your an amazing individual!
Every day i have been waking up feeling tense and not sure why. This knowledge and understanding equips me to overcome my nerves. I will be snapping up whatever you serve and be sure you are helping other people which is a great service to your fellow humans.
I can't explain how much these clips help me, they truly do. Now i can do this at work daily, yesss😊😊😊😊😊
Thank you for your time help and service. Deep gratitude and many blessings 😇
Great advise! I paused your video halfway through and downloaded the Lotus Bud ap and set it up. I continued your video and was feeling all soft and relaxed when the ap chime went off (it was set to loud) which startled me and caused a little adrenaline rush. (I turned the volume down). Thanks for your excellent videos 😄
my girlfriend and her daughter left me yesterday. you said "rejection is a survival threat". makes sense. my black and white thinking has skyrocketed and I'm panicking nonstop... and crushing depression
First is accepting .. I know that's crap
Meantime put yourself first... be very kind to yourself .. focus on your needs allowing feelings to be expressed.. you may need lots more rest . Try not to rely on numbing the feelings with alcohol etc binge eating etc treat your body well
This lady is amazing. My therapist is amazing too but this lady has taught me so much and it helping me with my crippling anxiety.
This is from heaven! Thank you for your simple and clear guidance.
Amazing video, thank you for sharing. Especially the part about “we all learned to be stressed when there’s stuff to do, and there’s always stuff to do” resonated
This video sparks bright hope for me especially since I live with threats as a consequence of my work. Thank you so much! I feel I must either learn to self regulate better or quit the work I love - because I don't want to live the rest of my life with my current stress level. I'll listen to this video whenever I need, and also check out the work you mentioned, of Eric Gentry on relaxed vigilance.
I absolutely loooove your videos... THANK YOU for AMAZING CONTENT!
Thank you for sharing this I'm so tired of being stressed out all the time so much negativity around me and lots of triggers in my daily work routine. Nice to know that I can prepare myself and take breaks throughout my day when I do have brakes and actively combat my nervous system wrecking havoc on my mental health. It's a great support to know that even though I cannot prevent stressors from happening I can prepare my body ahead of time to reset , strengthen and maintain a healthy nervous system.
Thank you😊
You’re an angel…. I love you, Emma thank you for always helping us.❤
Oh yes, I love this woman, love the special way she has to explain, express and details too, I can sense her natural way of being 🤗🥰💙
The first 5 minutes of this video caused my stress to increase. I wanted to know the answer, I didn't want you to go over all my triggers and get me triggered.
This was so clearly explained and included so many helpful ideas and practices. I am a health care professional and I will be using this video to help my clients understand and regulate their nervous system. Thanks for such a great, educational resource!
I learn from Emma each time I watch her videos and I work in the Mental Health field. Amazing ❤
I'm as grateful that you use a good microphone as I am for the clearly good information
I love this concept of a bottom-up approach to nervous system regulation in contrast to a 'top-down' approach. Both are good for different situations. Top-down starting in the mind and with our thoughts.
It might also be fair to mention that police officer is one of the top 10 professions of psychopaths and psychopaths are biologically incapable of being traumatized and when their life is threatened they feel what the rest of us call exhilaration instead of fear. That makes "relaxed" a psychopath's default state even when someone has a gun pointed directly at their t-box. Those police officers who get PTSD are often the most empathic, good-hearted of the LEOs.
...but I agree, creating a mental bubble around yourself and walking this world in a state of relaxed vigilance is the way to go if you can pull it off 15-16 out of 24 hours of the day. I'll keep practicing.
The mantra I say to myself as I walk the hall to my office, to/from the bathroom, and to the care is this:
"I walk the world with calm confidence knowing I can effectively handle any situation that should come my way".
Seriously. Been doing this for months and I'm shocked what a difference it has made. (Note: I've had PTSD from a predator before, but I'm not an anxious person by nature (nor was I before the event).
Thank you for sharing, this was so helpful to read. I'm really really sorry you had to go through that. Please continue on your healing journey, sending you a good vibe from around the world ❤️👍
"Relaxed but alert", my new goal
Just listening you, I am immediately relaxed - far better than R&R or other techniques that I used in the past.
I love the way you explain how things work in the body and the brain and how we can use that knowledge to feel and function better. Instead of feeling that everything is just happening to us, we learn how to influence the way we can deal with things in our best possible way. Great combination of knowledge and different techniques explained in a clear and gentle way. This should be taught in schools! Thanks from the Netherlands 🙂
People you gotta get of the screens. I just saw a Gen X documentary from 1991 and the differences between people then and now is astonishing. Go and take a look at it and see how chill and normal people were just being themselves. Because they had no phones ruining their lives 😂
Seriously? They were all plugged into their Game Boys! It’s Covid that’s caused the change-people just couldn’t mentally handle that the grocery store cashier was a necessary job and their job wasn’t. Phones help us stay connected and give us someone to contact during a panic attack, instead of shutting the whole world out while over obsessed on a Game Boy.
Thanks for your help Emma!
So much more appreciated then I could explain here in a comment but it's meant the world to me to have your amazing information and compassion ❤
You've truly helped make life so much better for so many
Having CPTSD, I can see how this could help in a meaningful way, thank you!