Which is true especially when you go back to the part of the video on how most people take over conversations...when a quiet person finds someone that doesn't do that, then they aren't so quiet. lol
I’ve always felt at odds with the world because in different school classes, groups, etc I’m either really, really quiet and shy, or I’m talkative and confident. It depends on the vibe of, say, 30 people all the way down to 3 people, if that makes sense? One of the things I hate the most about it is how people who haven’t interacted with me think I’m conceited and posh - but I’m the absolute opposite!
Absolutely. As a quiet person, if you put the right people in the room, you would think I was an extrovert the way I open up. But it takes time for me to get to that level with people.
For me that is an indicator of one of two situations. 1. I trust the people present enough to primarily present constructive criticism to something I say. 2. I have concluded that you are incapable of constructive thought and anything that I have to say to you one on one is for your education and I fully expect you to ignore it. Otherwise I am usually accused of being shy or distant/detached.
As a quiet person/introvert I can say this is true. Everyone around me thinks I'm super smart and super creative. Until they have to work with me they just see I'm regular. After that they just think I'm depressed and not a good leader. I'm not depressed and I'm a good leader everyone around me thinks I'm not and then they don't listen to me. At the end they'll just get angry at me that I didn't do something even they said I couldn't do it and got all my motivation out off me. My teachers don't understand me either. They don't understand why I'm happy sitting alone on a table working on a big project without people around me who can help me. One time I was working together with someone on a project we were almost done I knew we would get a good grade and then he just left and joined another group. Then I was all alone. And I needed make something new because he took our project with him to the other group. I failed I was and he came back at me and he was mad that he got a bad grade because I didn't do enough even he left me and joined another group. (Thank you for reading) (How did you get so far?)
I always wondered why teachers wanted us to keep quiet. I just thought that they wanted our undivided attention but I didn't think they bought the idea of being quiet meant that you'd be smarter. Anyway most of the time I would be quiet since I don't have anything to say or I'm busy with something, I'll talk if someone talks to me but I won't make the first move because I didn't want to be rejected or come across as an attention seeking, desperate person.
Honestly I feel like people see me as loud, but my conversation skills came from me being stressed out from the silence, which made me treat conversations like a game of improv. I feel quiet on the inside, but I know I’m loud to others. It’s probably me just changing as I get older, but that’s just how I’ve felt
I was just thinking about how a lot of my family members are in the house right now and I'm just in my room staying quiet by myself. TH-cam is watching me man!
I'm usually quiet too but in my new school I sometimes feel like the wards flow to often. I really don't even like talking that much, my friend just kind ogf gets me to talk by simply talking to me. Today -because of an injury- I could NOT talk, having to communicate non-verbally felt sooo refreshing and just.. more like myself? Sometimes I wish I'd stay quit more often, like I normally do. Isn't this kinda strange?
As a quiet person myself, I often find that I have trouble breaking into conversations with more extroverted people, and it can be very frustrating, because while I prefer to stay quiet until I have an opinion that deserves to be shared, finding an appropriate opening to slide into the conversation without seeming rude or oppressive to the voices of the people around me is extremely difficult and many times I just end up staying quiet while I wait for an opening that never comes. At that point, the relevance of my comment is long-gone and I just have to silently seethe at being ignored, even though I know that they're not doing it intentionally.
There will be those 1 second pauses where I'm like "okay this is my time" and then an extrovert just somehow naturally chimes in either before me or at the same time, which is so awkward.
When I finally try to say something, an extrovert interrupts me, I stay on my ground and continue to speak... and everyone is listening the extrovert. 😂
@@grenade8572speak more confidently, clearer, louder, with some intonation and emotion, and look into the groups' eyes while speaking. Don't scream though obviously, be reasonable. Prolly should help. If you can't do that - go get some singing lessons (offline with a human teacher), it helps a lot, very indirectly, but actually helps.
As a shy, quiet, and socially awkward person, I agree that sometimes it can be a blessing and a curse. It's also nice to learn additional facts about quiet people. Growing up, I was the quiet kid and I dreaded the times when the teacher would randomly call on me to answer a question. After what felt like an eternity, the teacher would give me a dirty look before she called on another kid. It didn't help that some other students would ask me why I'm so quiet and why don't I say something. I also dreaded family gatherings because most of my relatives are loud and gregarious (and for some of them, highly opinionated, rude, judgmental) and expected me to say something. Being more talkative and extroverted was usually more acceptable than being shy/quiet and introverted. Over time, I've learned to sharpen my listening and observational skills and improve on my social skills. The people whom I talk to the most appreciate my listening, observational, and imaginative skills. I suppose being quiet is not so bad after all.
@@ralthefish1880 Aside from the fact that I was a shy, quiet and socially awkward child, I was also very sheltered. My parents preferred/demanded their children do well in their classes rather than make friends and develop social skills. I improved on my social skills by talking to my friends, watching TV shows and observing how the characters interact with each other, and applying those skills to make small talks with cashiers, neighbors, restaurant servers, postal workers, etc.
I have the exact feeling. I can relate. Sometimes I feel like ppl who are more social and being more extrovert are better. And ppl like them better than a shy and quiet person. It sucks
Timestamps 1). If you need to be heard, talk to a quiet friend 0:28 2). Quiet people as leaders 1:38 3). Being quiet doesn't equal depressed 2:43 4). Being quiet doesn't make you more creative or intelligent, but neither does being loud 3:30 5). They are more self-aware, for better or worse 4:53 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
As a quiet person, I can say that I've been told that I saved the lives of two people just by listening. These days, people don't listen... they hear enough to simply reply when required. Keep the great videos rolling, I share them all the time.
Sometimes you don't want answers but you just want someone to listen to you. Not every problem needs to be fixed by someone else, and although people surely just want to help, the best way is to just let them go on their own adventure. If someone really wants your help they will come to you :)
In an argument, you can either be right or wrong when you are silence. For me, I choose to stay silence for 1 of the 3 reasons : 1) It's not worth discussing, 2) I know they don't understand my perspective (biased), 3) I'm not interested in the topic. I also rarely ever ask a question because I believe I can figure it out by myself without bothering anyone, and I only speak out when it's absolutely necessary
Sometimes in such situations when it may seem to be more appropriate to just say nothing and just listen, it may be helpful to phrase your thoughts (if you feel like they are important) in such a way that does get the point across but doesn't force anything, just makes the companion aware of the options that they may also have but didn't consider themselves. For example by using a metaphor, or an analogy, or by explaining the bigger picture or by whatever you can come up with in the context.
I’ve saved one just by listening: my own sister. I’m super happy she told me that, I didn’t feel like I helped at all because I barely added anything to our conversations, but that’s exactly what she wanted.
As a a quiet person most of the times I am bored of making an effort to be heard by people I don't think highly off. I am talkative to the people that matter and I choose to use my energy for them.
I've always been overly self-aware, and throughout my life it's made me especially afraid of "saying the wrong thing". I was always that one kid that almost never spoke, I had very few friends growing up (I'm also autistic and socially awkward, and been bullied and taken advantage of a lot)
I am a younger version of you, but I never talk, but a genius once told me that if someone tries to beat you up, let them since you get paid that good bread (:
Aw im sorry you've had to go through that. I can relate to being self aware and worrying about saying the wrong thing. My mom told me that there is no right thing to say cause everyone is different. . I also found advice on reddit to just be yourself and enjoy yourself. It's hard but I'm trying to follow that advice. Sometimes it's hard and I feel like there's something wrong with me cause I'm quiet or I don't get along with people as well. Know you are not alone and things can get better! I hope that people will realize the good in you and make you feel good about yourself. Everyone deserves that!
As a member of the introvert community, I really relate to the self-awareness issue. Whenever I’m with friends I’m always analyzing the situation or topic at hand, while everyone else can just flow in a conversation. I get to choose my conversations, but this isn’t all the time and I feel mostly disconnected because of course, SOMETIMES people talk nonsense.
That ferling when someone in the group says something interessant, you're thinking a few secs about it, and when you want, the whole group has already moved on to another subject one light-year apart. 😂
@@AJ-xu5dh just change your way of thinking. I used to be very quiet and aware of the vibes in the room, how I felt, how people perceived me, who was dominant, even what people could be capable of or how they are better than me at things. For me, I was being distracted by all these thoughts because somewhere inside, I thought that was how I was supposed to be. At some point, I became tired of it and started to ignore all these things and focus on what I wanted, which may have been to dominate a conversation or show off my knowledge or look cool in front of a girl. Really a memory that sticks with me is losing at basketball to my dad and his friend when I was a teenager. I was not aggressive enough because I wasn't focused on playing. I was focused on how I was being perceived, how these guys are older and more experienced, how I looked up to these guys, or what if I looked weak? Again, I just got tired of it. Today, I can work harder, play better, be more confident, take charge of just about anything. I'll always remember my old mindset and it wasn't necessarily wrong. Some of the best times were like this but I never go back because I don't want to be a little punk, don't want anyone to take advantage of me and someone might need me to be strong. The thought of being like that again seems very vulnerable and I've gotten used to being anything but vulnerable. Why should someone else dominate me or why should I be afraid or self aware? Being on my own and in a lot of bad situations where I had to handle myself in order to survive also forced me to learn to be more assertive. But basically, it's all about focus. You are what you think you are. It all starts in your mind. You may have to practice but the first step is to think it. You gotta have motivation though. I think deep inside, you don't want anything from the situation, so you do nothing. Once you want something bad enough, all the distractions will go away and you won't see them any more.
I think being quiet is more a blessing than a curse. It allows me to listen more attentively, to observe more keenly, and to appreciate more deeply. Being quiet does not mean being passive or timid. It means being confident and respectful. I enjoy being quiet and I am proud of it.
Sometimes I find it hard to think of it that way. I feel like a lot of people misunderstand me, but I can hardly bring up the courage to start a conversation to explain myself.
People in the comments under this video prolly aren't addicted to TikTok, I can say that much. To describe their life experience in such ways, it takes some philosophy points and to gain them you have to choose to sit in silence without any distractions and have a high attention span. Which is harder today for most people because of ✨short form content✨ which doesn't let you process information effectively and produce your own thoughts. Yeah there's less and less of people who can listen
I’m quiet and it kinda sucks bc I have maybe 2 real friends and a whole lotta fake friends. I’m really good at listening to people, though nobody really listens to me.
Are you just assume that they are fake friend based on your feeling, or critical thinking. If it's the latter, then resemble all the sign, or edvidence that shows they're fake friend. Also, if you mostly listen to people, the people you're going to attract are more likely to be an great speaker, and bad at listening. So you can try to speak to them about this.
As a quiet person, this video definitely helped me out a lot. I really need to work on my inner thoughts and the way I talk to myself. I've known this for a while, so this was a welcoming friendly reminder. I'm going to share this video with my husband. My husband is an more of an extrovert and I'm more of an introvert. I feel like this video will help us to better understand each other and ultimately help our communication. It is something that we've been working on, and I feel this video will definitely help in that area. Thank you for this video! 💗
I am always super analyzing, it's just the fact I am afraid I might mess it up or just can't add to it. I love to know everything just it's frustrating. I can't just express sometimes. I love being quiet but depends on the situation. My specialty comes out when people need help or art or gaming. Seems a good way to express
I'm generally quiet and introverted with people I don't know well , but I'm very loud and laughing all the time with people close to me , and i even dare to say I'm one of the most liked persons for people who know me well , so to the quiet folks out there , being silent in front of other people you're not comfortable with yet is not bad , don't be harsh on yourselves , although it's good to socialize with others , 'cause you might learn new experiences and make beautiful friendships , so don't be afraid to be out there ❤❤❤❤
As a quiet person this is so true. I met many people that has problems because maybe they don't want to show their real feelings and talk about their problems or they just think i was weird because i was a quiet kid. And for a few of my friends came near at me and talk about their problems and i'm so much glad i really help them. Also i maybe quiet but i am considering myself as ambivert but have strong percentage of introvert
Actually i think that people who are introvert think more about emotions and feelings and real problems and that when they talk, its not some sort of nonsense that comes out of their mouth.
I really like family get togethers with my wife’s family. I’ve always been a quiet person, and sometimes situations with a lot of people give me anxiety. Almost from the get go they just accepted the fact that’s just how I was and didn’t take issue with it or try and change it. If I just want to listen to everyone, they just let me be. If I join in the conversation, they listen. It was mind blowing at first, because I love my family, but being a quiet person in social settings is very much NOT acceptable with them.
To be quiet by choice, that would be amazing. But not me. It's not that I even wanted to be the quiet one to begin with. I was basically supressed. As I grew up, I often didn't get to participate in conversations, very rarely getting a chance to speak. So I eventually just stopped trying to. They don't want to hear what I have to say, so why should I try to speak? That was my thinking 10 years ago. And it just evolved into... this. Thanks to that, I am now even more antisocial than a textbook introvert. I'm not the quiet friend that people talk to when they want someone to listen, because I just don't have friends. Except a few, that I rarely get opportunities to speak to since we share barely any classes together, and summer is approaching. So yeah, I'm just the guy that basically never speaks unless I have to. And nobody's gonna try to be friends with "the quiet kid. He doesn't want to socialize, so clearly he doesn't want friends." Bitch, I only don't socialize because I never learned HOW. And I am now realizing I typed an entire paragraph out of one tiny topic. Look at me go, ranting on and on about one thing. Goes to show how desparate I am to share something, ANYTHING. Edit: Update, just saw the part of this video at parties. I recently was at a party. I didn't go, but was at it since my family hosted it. Everyone was in conversations. Everyone. And I wasn't trying to avoid speaking. I was trying to speak. And I was basically being ignored. I had so much to say. I always do. But never anyone willing to listen. I am in need of a quiet friend that can listen. I am an introvert, but that doesn't mean I want to be silent all the time. Especially with everything building up all this time. Although, when I realized I'm not going to get a word in, I decided to leave the party area and go do something else. How dare I. My parents noticed, and told me to go be with people. Talk to people. Have fun. Like I didn't already try that.
❤ we love and support you. You will find people who will be glad to listen to you. Life comes in seasons so don't think that things will always be this way sweetheart
@@EveofPyrite I deeply appreciate those kind, caring words, but it feels like it's too late. Back then, I knew exactly what I wanted to say. Now... It's been too long since I've been regularly in an active conversation. I've basically forgotten how to be social.
Like always, you can’t judge someone until you know them. I had a friend in middle school who was a “quiet kid” however when I got to know her better, I learned that she really likes talking and she talks a lot. Although I knew who she was, whenever someone else talked about her they portrayed her as a nice, quiet, smart girl who got good grades. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it was a very different version than the her I knew.
The content is really cool, very beautiful and useful, especially if there are videos about love because I was in love, then things happened that made me not love, and then I fell in love with the same girl again. I wish you would upload videos about things like this...... I love you for making me take advantage❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
This help me a lot , your videos help me realize a lot about myself, I’ve talked to my friends and therapist and I recommend them your videos, thank you for sharing important information
Well I’m way too far in being a introvert. A little too much because I’m literally treated like a phantom. Absolutely nothing. Not even a reaction. Not even a thought about me.
I find this especially interesting, cuz when i was a child i would literally never shut up, but after transferring to a new secondary school, i adopted these traits befause of the anxiety i felt. Things are different, but I'm still a "quiet person" and ngl i wouldn't change it
You know for me it's more like i become very self concious at times,then i over anaylse everything and then u end up not being able to be a part of the conversation beacause I don't know what to say. I am self aware most of the time but engaging with others is'nt as easy . So I frequently get annoyed when people comment that i have gotten quiter and that i should talk more or what am i thinking so seriously about. I don't even know how to make normal expressions anymore because i am so tense all the time.
I'm glad to hear that wanting to be quiet whilst hanging out with friends isn't wierd. But I do feel a bit guilty, it feels as though I end up being a "taker" so to speak. It's like I'm not giving my friends anything in return.
One of the many upsides about being quiet is that you're usually a good listener just like this video said. Being a good listener usually also comes with the quality of being able to assess the situation and to see if this person just needs to be heard or if this person needs help and/or advise. I see this in my personal life alot; i have a friend with bpd and most of the time she just needs to be heard instead of being bombarded with advise which she's not gonna follow anyway. After having just a normal conversation and being thanked for listening, it gives me a proud feeling about myself because i was able to do and to understand what others couldn't.
I’ve been forced to be quiet, despite being a loud, outgoing person, because for some reason, people treat me like a 5 year old, treat me like I’m stupid. This is until they need me for something. Usually I love helping others, but I don’t help them because whenever they don’t need something of me they treat me wrong. But when they need help with something in class, all of a sudden all eyes are on me. Being used sucks, and forces people into silence, I’m a prime example. It’s to the point where my friend group is Essentially all the outcasts. That said, it’s good to surround yourself with good, true friends, who’ll help you, as you also help them.
I’m not necessarily “shy” but I’m somewhat quiet. Even though I can be sociable at times, I’m REALLY introverted compared to most of my family (except for my cousin maybe) and most of my friends are extroverts as well. I can feel alienated at times, and I try to talk to them and try to get closer, but I personally can feel a bit jealous about how extroverted people tend to have this indescribable “charm” and charisma about them that seems to be able to befriend so many people. I have a few friends, but unfortunately I still haven’t found many people who I can confide in for when I need. Hoping to make that a long-lasting priority and goal. ❤
I'm not always quiet, and when I'm not I'm super talkative about whatever nerdy thing I'm going on about, I'm like deadly quiet; a 6th one that could be mentioned, is that we quiet people can startle people when we walk behind them without saying anything 😬
I'm quiet, but have a comorbidity of ASC/ADHD, so can lose track of what I need to reply during a conversation, so interject when most necessary. I always feel like I'm butting in, but have hopefully learned by now when there is a lull in the sentence structure I'm listening to.
I'm relatively quiet, and one of the things I noticed that benefit me slightly, but also annoy me to no extent is that when I'm listening to a conversation happening in a group of people, I sort of get ignored as I'm not really adding anything to the conversation, but when I decide to speak up, it usually makes people go quiet and listen carefully to what I might have to add to the conversation. The annoying part is that I also get ignored a lot or not taken into account when something is being group-discussed. Another thing that seems a bit funny to me is that when talking online in a group through text, not audio calls, when there are conflicts going on and I happen to have something to add, people often get intimidated by just seeing me start to type something up, as literally nobody quite expects me of all people wanting to get involved in a loud and screamy mess. This sort of makes myself getting to be a person of authority in some situations which I'm not a huge fan of most of the times, but also helps me keep an eye out and stop people from doing stupid stuff, which oftentimes gets appreciated.
As one of the quiet people in the internet I will say I like it when people talk because I can just stay quiet but if they do need me to speak I will, but still have to fight my speech anxiety so I can express my feelings more
I got to learn a lot about myself I will consider all of these thank you . But so if my self -awareness is not good , it's not like I didn't know but I just can't get the idea that how to stop it . Also because of that I am not able to get a goal I just think of my future and the self -awareness kicks in making me think: I can't do it even if I try . And there goes my dream 😢😅
I’m usually pretty quiet and tend to listen to others. The details are a little more than i can comment on here but I will say it can lend towards heightened sensitivity and expansion of imagination. Our type tend to sound more articulated in their speech and writing.
As an introverted, very quiet person, I love how this is all so true. It's so factual and very educational. I was rewarded as the most quiet person in 4th grade. I decided to be homeschooled for 2 years after that. Not because of that "award" but because I can never get used to socializing. My anxiety always kicks in whenever I'm in public. Decided to go to proper school on 7th grade. I'm now in 8th grade, but homeschooled again. But this is my last homeschool experience, cause it's pretty hard too tbh.
I am really sorry that you're anxiety is so bad whenever you are in public, but i am 100% sure you can handle this! Whenever you have a hard time, breath in an breath out and seek a bit of a more quieter space. Also (what i like to do) since im a bit of a reader i sometimes just like to take a book with me and whenever it gets too hard i grab my book and just live in the book for a while. What also helps is writing you're feelings down. I hope this helps! You got this!
fellow quiet person here. I homeschooled in middle school as well and then went to school freshman year. it was a big adjustment and pretty hard, but now I'm in sophomore year with a few really good friends that I can be myself around or just be quiet and comfortable with. In freshman year I was tempted to give up and just go back to homeschool but I didn't and I'm so glad. Don't give up!!
I have really bad social anxiety but i do feel much better now i try not to care what others thinking of me or judged me but i don't give a crap about it that's why I need to get out my comfort zone and go out and try socialized and still my parents are overprotective of me afraid the real world so yeah it was hard for me to go and do normal teenage would do it's sucks 🥺😭
It all depends on a person's inner qualities to determine how creative and practical they can be... While also being able to network with others in a healthy manner even if they are a introverted quiet person who prefers to speak only when it's necessary 🌻 And there are quiet introverts who really enjoy their own company in their own ways even if others don't understand them 💯
I am a quiet person i am too self aware of my surroundings and people and this was very relatble that my inner speech takes out all the fun am working on it and the self awareness is helpful too sometimes and i am not intelligent but i do draw and make my own ideas so a really good video
I am not introverted, I'd say ambiverted at best and for me, my quietness depends on the person I am with. With my friends and in school I am usually the most confident, not to mention this video taught me that I am more of an extroverted leader although I try my best to seek out other people's interests in a project (although my classmates are stupid and dont care). There are also certain friends I am more open with, like my former crush and good friend and my best friend who I find easy to get absorbed in a conversation with. When meeting new people I tend to be more analytical.
I'm a quiet person and have taken necessary hints about what I should do when I am in society from you. I have grasped thoroughly . Thank you very much.
Sometimes it can be hard to express yourself because you are expected to be good at listening when you are quiet. Of course, it gives a good feeling when you help someone by hearing the person out, but with an overanalysing mind, a quiet person could overthink that it is unnecessary to be heard when they are expected to be the listener. It could get into a negative spiral when there isn't some mutuality in listening to each other. Nice to see the topic being discussed!
One thing that kinda confuses me is that, it’s usually not a bad thing if I’m sad. I usually bottle up all my emotions and being sad is just really relaxing cause I can just let go and think about my feelings. But if someone asks if I’m sad, I say “no” because if I say I am they will try to “fix” my feelings and make me happy and I’m like. “Can I just not fake a smile for a for minutes and rest?”
Okay, I am quiet because of how loud I can get if I don't keep quiet and the way I was raised. "Think before you talk. Try talking with a pencil in your mouth, I don't care if it hurts. You're too emotional!" I legit feel more like myself when hanging out with my husband and close friends. I can throw caution to the wind and not have to worry how they feel about me. If I was able to do that more often, I'd probably be less depressed.
It's been 1 & half month since i joined coaching & still I've no friends over there & i have not talked to anyone... Not a single student wear mask except me... But i never felt uncomfortable or embrassing... I hardly know anyone & i couldn't even recognise many of the students... There are many rumours in the class about me 😂😂😂 but i just ignore them and focus on my study
I remember once in chess club we were correcting a game play and everyone was joking around and thinking about the moves to make while the teacher was explaining things and I just started watching the people around me and contemplating this situation that I was in... Was thinking about how we're all human beings on this ride, on this journey of life. Then I came to the realization that I felt like an outside entity watching life, lives happening before my eyes. I was more of an observer then a player of the game that is life in that instance.
not gonna lie I can relate to almost all of this. also this helps me see that I'm too self-aware I believe but I just have a trouble talking in general I'm quiet and I hate it at times but I always listen just I don't have the confidence on things to ask for stuff. I'm kind a glad theirs a video of this because I thought maybe I'm just too depressed on things mostly family at times but I'm glad this video cheer me up a bit for comfort on being a quiet person :)
Introverts don't like extroverts, just as much as extroverts don't like Introverts. We just don't feel the need to say " Why are you so loud." Because it's none of our business
Thank you I'm trying to be more mindful and enjoy the moment rather than over analyse everything When I feel too stressed, my chatterbox disappears and I become mute without control. Idk what one would call that, but I cant even ask for help. Thank you this helps ❤
You're welcome! Being mindful and focusing on enjoying the present moment can be beneficial for reducing overanalysis. It sounds like when you're stressed, you experience a loss of speech or control. Have you found any strategies that help you in such situations?
@Psych2Go I've heard meditation can help, i feel restless sometimes so I'm finding stuff to entertain myself as I go through life ^_^ Thank you for your videos 🧡
I'm not exactly an introvert, but I am a quiet person and this is so true. I can tell you that with most quiet people, they are always willing to listen, as the first fact says. Don't be afraid to get more personal and develop a deeper connection with a quiet person you know, especially if you're having a hard time and need someone to talk to. It's powerful both for the person talking mostly and the person listening.
Very quiet introvert here, and everything mentioned rings true for me as well! Unfortunately I have harmful inner speech though and am extremely critical of everything I do say. 😅
I am an introvert and also a quiet person. I tend to listen more if someone wants to have a conversation with me. I also want a friend who can listen to me without interrupting my talk and without judging me😢. Nowadays, I am forcing myself too much to talk and have nice conversations with everyone. It's really hard. As you said in video, I carefully choose words and before saying them, I try them on my mind so many times. But I am a little confuse. My friends become happy when we have a conversation but I think I am changing and pushing myself too much. Sometimes I feel proud that I did itbut sometimes I become too embarrassed because I said too much in flow😅.
I used to be the friend people vent to about their problems, I just had to nip that in the bud. So while I would listen, I just began to let it go in one ear and out the other.
I’m the only quiet person in a family of talkies and nearly all of my friends. For as long as I can remember I’ve always been that way and I’m proud to be that way but my mum always wanted me to start talking more than listening but it’s not easy, I’ve always been paying more attention to listening and reading body language while talking to people. As a kid it’s not easy for others to understand me but likely most of the time friends on middle and high school understood me but sometimes I had to prove it to them what a quiet person can do. Does anyone else have a story?
Quiet people can be talkative at times (either to their parents and/or close trusted friends. Not just with anyone of course). I realized that talking to a wrong person will just send me to a wrong path. If people think we're predictable, well, whatever details we give to them (whether many or little), there are things they do not know about us. For those of you who are quiet like us, do you have a big imagination as well? Quiet people in public: ... Quiet people in social media: Please be careful. Take care of your mental health.
I am a quiet person. My favorite thing to do in my friend group is be the one that people come to to vent and get a hug. It has even become part of my profession, I listen to people having a crisis and talk them into getting help instead of causing a self destructive action using Crisis Intervention Training from law enforcement.
Im quiet, but not an introvert. Often i see people misunderstanding where my behavior is being introvert/timid/shy, which it isnt. Also, when i talk the others tend to respect more my turn to speak in contrast of said person talking to another.
Sometimes being quiet and then being angered by someone is hard. Because you know you cant express it so you have to really keep it in. Sometimes we must learn to keep our mouths shut 😊
Sometimes, I’m so quiet to the point where I wonder if I’ll straight up become mute when my bestest bestie in the history of bestest besties moves next month. Since I tend to avoid talking to people when I’m upset about something, I really hope I don’t get upset to that extent
I'm quiet because nobody wants to listen to me. Ever say something, get ignored then a minute later someone else in the same room says the same thing and get's all sort of attention from it? While I don't like to deal in absolutes I feel like quiet people are a product of nurture due to not being likable by others.
You're making a mistake, whenever you enter a new social group the first thing people will notice is your appearance then your personality. Your mistake is about being quiet and not expressing yourself very well. If you don't provide anything to the group besides your standing there, you'll often be seen as dumb, and people will not pay attention to what you say. But if you are quiet and whenever you open your mouth to say something nobody thought of, that's gold, and people will think "Huh, he's smart alright." Being quiet and good-looking is also a plus, but even these kinds of people will have to provide something besides their beauty, a joke is often enough. Hope that helps.
@@zkennedy5671 Thank you for the tips. :) and reading my post. I guess it's like the ol' "No decision is worse that a bad one" Saying something is better than saying nothing at all?
@@Novaximus Why should you start a conversation with people, and not the other way around? If they ignore you, don't waste your time on something that isn't worth it. I don't start conversations with people, they often ask me questions and I answer them, they ask even more questions and I get bored. I can feel when someone is trying so hard to engage with me, and I get repulsive about that person 'cause they often can't think for themself or need validation (look I'm here), I'm not being rude but those who can hold silence around me are the most secure people in the room, they've spent enough time inside their head to know themself, and (thank god) I don't need to feed their ego. So answering your question: Believe it or not communication nowadays outclass knowledge, you can be pretty damn smart but what's the use of if you can't share it? It's Not What You Say It's How You Say It, people like those who are similar to them, your tone of voice, how you express yourself, body language so on... all of these can attract or repel people. If you like your own company, you don't need to force yourself into people, just be yourself. But if you like people try to work on your communication and body language. Just be you.
@@zkennedy5671 Most of the people I see daily are just coworkers. Otherwise I agree. I ordinarily won't peruse a conversation with someone that doesn't want to be around me. Krammer from Seinfeld pops into my head when you mentioned body language and being more expressive. Being boisterous doesn't come naturally to me. Maybe that's why I watch so many reaction videos?
The whole self-awareness thing hit hard, I've always felt pressured to socialize so every time I stay quiet there's a recuring thought that forces me to speak, making me feel bad about my quiet self and it sucks, I want to just enjoy being there without feeling guilty for not talking
I can 100% relate to the leadership part, I struggle way more when people around dont have tha passionand ideas, as just delgating things to be done seems so frustrating
I'm quiet all the time just Because I'm constantly upset that I can't talk to people normally, and I do a 180 on my personality which turns me into quiet shy type person at school, which makes it even harder for me to talk to people! I'm frustrated, but I know I cannot just give up and any type of information that makes me understand myself is very much appreciated and I would like to understand myself more😊🙏 thank you for videos like this! ❤️
@catfriend8888 I feel you mate❤️ I'm short for my grade, and I'm skinny so there's some attention to me because of that. Let's not forget who we are and continue being ourselves ^^
Anything about antisocial people who use rude sayings to call people out of their flaws? Like straight up calling someone fat because they eat too much while the other person has to stay on budget because of their financial problems. Or if that person always sleeps around during their tutoring session because they're tired after working many hours but the tutor just calls her a lazy s|ut for making things hard for them?
I'm a quiet person, many people and mates told me that, and yes, I feel identified 😊 Specially the part of self-awareness. Idk if I have depression (bc I live in constant denial), but yeah, this video is really accurate, thank u.
I'm the 'quiet listener', mostly when I'm medicated but also because my ADHD-developed sleep disorder overwrites my ADHD's urge to babble incessantly 😅 But then my ADHD-addled brain can only offer advice when I relate it to a personal story (it's my way of understanding their circumstance) so I'm often misunderstood and it gets a little awkward 🥹
I relate to the self-awareness part. I generally don't like speaking out as I am comfortable staying quiet until spoken to and I tend to catch myself overthinking my words so much that I stumble on my sentences every single time I try to actually talk with others, and when I just let go I often accidently say rude things despite it not being my intention. I try to be better at communicating and being a team person, since my current workspace requires me to do so, but I'm still having a hard time. But I don't let it discourage me. If it hurts that day, I let it all out and prepare for the next day. Failing or making mistakes can be hurtful, but giving up is even more so.
On self-awareness: equally, if you're autistic, you're probably not getting fun out ot interacting with neurotypical people, and you're aware that your differences have resulted in pain and trauma in the past, and that trauma can inform your inner speech, for better or worse. You probably don't feel that way around other autistic people, and likely experience more positive inner speech in those situations.
As an introverted quiet person, I can confirm this is all true. Love ur channel!
As an also another introvert, I also confirm this comment.
as an person, i can confirm i am an introvert
@@CK-eb5tq 😊
Idem. I am are INFP
@@-LudovicaD yes me too
One thing that's sat with me for a while cause I found it to be true with me.
"The quiet ones always talk a lot more around the right people"
Which is true especially when you go back to the part of the video on how most people take over conversations...when a quiet person finds someone that doesn't do that, then they aren't so quiet. lol
I’ve always felt at odds with the world because in different school classes, groups, etc I’m either really, really quiet and shy, or I’m talkative and confident. It depends on the vibe of, say, 30 people all the way down to 3 people, if that makes sense? One of the things I hate the most about it is how people who haven’t interacted with me think I’m conceited and posh - but I’m the absolute opposite!
Absolutely. As a quiet person, if you put the right people in the room, you would think I was an extrovert the way I open up. But it takes time for me to get to that level with people.
Truee me too
For me that is an indicator of one of two situations.
1. I trust the people present enough to primarily present constructive criticism to something I say.
2. I have concluded that you are incapable of constructive thought and anything that I have to say to you one on one is for your education and I fully expect you to ignore it.
Otherwise I am usually accused of being shy or distant/detached.
I’m a really quiet person my self so I’m glad I found this video
I agree, I am also a bit quiet person
Same here. I usually don’t have much to say unless I’m able to find something to connect to with someone.
I’m generally a quiet person but if a topic I’m very familiar with is brought up in a conversation, I’m able to engage more in the discussion.
Me too
same
As a quiet person/introvert I can say this is true. Everyone around me thinks I'm super smart and super creative. Until they have to work with me they just see I'm regular. After that they just think I'm depressed and not a good leader. I'm not depressed and I'm a good leader everyone around me thinks I'm not and then they don't listen to me. At the end they'll just get angry at me that I didn't do something even they said I couldn't do it and got all my motivation out off me. My teachers don't understand me either. They don't understand why I'm happy sitting alone on a table working on a big project without people around me who can help me. One time I was working together with someone on a project we were almost done I knew we would get a good grade and then he just left and joined another group. Then I was all alone. And I needed make something new because he took our project with him to the other group. I failed I was and he came back at me and he was mad that he got a bad grade because I didn't do enough even he left me and joined another group. (Thank you for reading) (How did you get so far?)
I always wondered why teachers wanted us to keep quiet. I just thought that they wanted our undivided attention but I didn't think they bought the idea of being quiet meant that you'd be smarter. Anyway most of the time I would be quiet since I don't have anything to say or I'm busy with something, I'll talk if someone talks to me but I won't make the first move because I didn't want to be rejected or come across as an attention seeking, desperate person.
Honestly I feel like people see me as loud, but my conversation skills came from me being stressed out from the silence, which made me treat conversations like a game of improv. I feel quiet on the inside, but I know I’m loud to others. It’s probably me just changing as I get older, but that’s just how I’ve felt
Just by the way, how I used to make conversations was asking questions that didn’t make sense
I was just thinking about how a lot of my family members are in the house right now and I'm just in my room staying quiet by myself. TH-cam is watching me man!
"quiet people are not depressed" Most people thought I was depressed for a few months but I just had a bad headache.
Thanks for this video, parents be really saying to me that ill grow dumb if i dont communicate....
I'm usually quiet too but in my new school I sometimes feel like the wards flow to often. I really don't even like talking that much, my friend just kind ogf gets me to talk by simply talking to me. Today -because of an injury- I could NOT talk, having to communicate non-verbally felt sooo refreshing and just.. more like myself? Sometimes I wish I'd stay quit more often, like I normally do. Isn't this kinda strange?
Well this explains why Holly's friends always go to him to talk about something in private.
-Tucker
I used to be quiet and I don't know what happened, but I'm decidedly not as quiet anymore. 😂
As a quiet person myself, I often find that I have trouble breaking into conversations with more extroverted people, and it can be very frustrating, because while I prefer to stay quiet until I have an opinion that deserves to be shared, finding an appropriate opening to slide into the conversation without seeming rude or oppressive to the voices of the people around me is extremely difficult and many times I just end up staying quiet while I wait for an opening that never comes.
At that point, the relevance of my comment is long-gone and I just have to silently seethe at being ignored, even though I know that they're not doing it intentionally.
There will be those 1 second pauses where I'm like "okay this is my time" and then an extrovert just somehow naturally chimes in either before me or at the same time, which is so awkward.
When I finally try to say something, an extrovert interrupts me, I stay on my ground and continue to speak... and everyone is listening the extrovert. 😂
Yes, yes , and yes xD all three
Me too :>
@@grenade8572speak more confidently, clearer, louder, with some intonation and emotion, and look into the groups' eyes while speaking. Don't scream though obviously, be reasonable. Prolly should help. If you can't do that - go get some singing lessons (offline with a human teacher), it helps a lot, very indirectly, but actually helps.
As a shy, quiet, and socially awkward person, I agree that sometimes it can be a blessing and a curse. It's also nice to learn additional facts about quiet people. Growing up, I was the quiet kid and I dreaded the times when the teacher would randomly call on me to answer a question. After what felt like an eternity, the teacher would give me a dirty look before she called on another kid. It didn't help that some other students would ask me why I'm so quiet and why don't I say something. I also dreaded family gatherings because most of my relatives are loud and gregarious (and for some of them, highly opinionated, rude, judgmental) and expected me to say something. Being more talkative and extroverted was usually more acceptable than being shy/quiet and introverted. Over time, I've learned to sharpen my listening and observational skills and improve on my social skills. The people whom I talk to the most appreciate my listening, observational, and imaginative skills. I suppose being quiet is not so bad after all.
I hope I can confidently say that someday, I had just same experience as you and I 100% agree with you.
How did u improve your social skills
@@ralthefish1880 Aside from the fact that I was a shy, quiet and socially awkward child, I was also very sheltered. My parents preferred/demanded their children do well in their classes rather than make friends and develop social skills. I improved on my social skills by talking to my friends, watching TV shows and observing how the characters interact with each other, and applying those skills to make small talks with cashiers, neighbors, restaurant servers, postal workers, etc.
Another way I improve on my social skills is visualizing the interactions of book characters whenever I was reading.
I have the exact feeling. I can relate. Sometimes I feel like ppl who are more social and being more extrovert are better. And ppl like them better than a shy and quiet person. It sucks
Timestamps
1). If you need to be heard, talk to a quiet friend 0:28
2). Quiet people as leaders 1:38
3). Being quiet doesn't equal depressed 2:43
4). Being quiet doesn't make you more creative or intelligent, but neither does being loud 3:30
5). They are more self-aware, for better or worse 4:53
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
You too ❤
@@kaylewolf not a problem happy to help
Thank you! 💙
Thanks
@@ckmodele happy to help
The biggest hurdle I’ve faced being a quiet person is feeling alienated. Im glad this video brought that up.
As a quiet person, I can say that I've been told that I saved the lives of two people just by listening. These days, people don't listen... they hear enough to simply reply when required. Keep the great videos rolling, I share them all the time.
Sometimes you don't want answers but you just want someone to listen to you. Not every problem needs to be fixed by someone else, and although people surely just want to help, the best way is to just let them go on their own adventure. If someone really wants your help they will come to you :)
In an argument, you can either be right or wrong when you are silence. For me, I choose to stay silence for 1 of the 3 reasons : 1) It's not worth discussing, 2) I know they don't understand my perspective (biased), 3) I'm not interested in the topic. I also rarely ever ask a question because I believe I can figure it out by myself without bothering anyone, and I only speak out when it's absolutely necessary
Sometimes in such situations when it may seem to be more appropriate to just say nothing and just listen, it may be helpful to phrase your thoughts (if you feel like they are important) in such a way that does get the point across but doesn't force anything, just makes the companion aware of the options that they may also have but didn't consider themselves. For example by using a metaphor, or an analogy, or by explaining the bigger picture or by whatever you can come up with in the context.
I’ve saved one just by listening: my own sister. I’m super happy she told me that, I didn’t feel like I helped at all because I barely added anything to our conversations, but that’s exactly what she wanted.
As a a quiet person most of the times I am bored of making an effort to be heard by people I don't think highly off. I am talkative to the people that matter and I choose to use my energy for them.
Literally same
Sounds like something an INTJ would say, are you one?
@@hassaniq0777 I am lol
@@hassaniq0777I have the same opinion and also I'm an INTJ, maybe she/he is an INTJ as well
I've always been overly self-aware, and throughout my life it's made me especially afraid of "saying the wrong thing". I was always that one kid that almost never spoke, I had very few friends growing up (I'm also autistic and socially awkward, and been bullied and taken advantage of a lot)
I am a younger version of you, but I never talk, but a genius once told me that if someone tries to beat you up, let them since you get paid that good bread (:
And they go to jail
Way smarter
Aw im sorry you've had to go through that. I can relate to being self aware and worrying about saying the wrong thing. My mom told me that there is no right thing to say cause everyone is different. . I also found advice on reddit to just be yourself and enjoy yourself. It's hard but I'm trying to follow that advice. Sometimes it's hard and I feel like there's something wrong with me cause I'm quiet or I don't get along with people as well.
Know you are not alone and things can get better! I hope that people will realize the good in you and make you feel good about yourself. Everyone deserves that!
I feel you so much
As a member of the introvert community, I really relate to the self-awareness issue.
Whenever I’m with friends I’m always analyzing the situation or topic at hand, while everyone else can just flow in a conversation. I get to choose my conversations, but this isn’t all the time and I feel mostly disconnected because of course, SOMETIMES people talk nonsense.
True awareness increases when we are silent
What's the solution to this
@@AJ-xu5dhthere is a book "Just Listen" and I think it's quite effective 🙂
That ferling when someone in the group says something interessant, you're thinking a few secs about it, and when you want, the whole group has already moved on to another subject one light-year apart. 😂
@@AJ-xu5dh just change your way of thinking. I used to be very quiet and aware of the vibes in the room, how I felt, how people perceived me, who was dominant, even what people could be capable of or how they are better than me at things. For me, I was being distracted by all these thoughts because somewhere inside, I thought that was how I was supposed to be. At some point, I became tired of it and started to ignore all these things and focus on what I wanted, which may have been to dominate a conversation or show off my knowledge or look cool in front of a girl.
Really a memory that sticks with me is losing at basketball to my dad and his friend when I was a teenager. I was not aggressive enough because I wasn't focused on playing. I was focused on how I was being perceived, how these guys are older and more experienced, how I looked up to these guys, or what if I looked weak?
Again, I just got tired of it. Today, I can work harder, play better, be more confident, take charge of just about anything. I'll always remember my old mindset and it wasn't necessarily wrong. Some of the best times were like this but I never go back because I don't want to be a little punk, don't want anyone to take advantage of me and someone might need me to be strong. The thought of being like that again seems very vulnerable and I've gotten used to being anything but vulnerable. Why should someone else dominate me or why should I be afraid or self aware?
Being on my own and in a lot of bad situations where I had to handle myself in order to survive also forced me to learn to be more assertive. But basically, it's all about focus. You are what you think you are. It all starts in your mind. You may have to practice but the first step is to think it. You gotta have motivation though. I think deep inside, you don't want anything from the situation, so you do nothing. Once you want something bad enough, all the distractions will go away and you won't see them any more.
I think being quiet is more a blessing than a curse. It allows me to listen more attentively, to observe more keenly, and to appreciate more deeply. Being quiet does not mean being passive or timid. It means being confident and respectful. I enjoy being quiet and I am proud of it.
Sometimes I find it hard to think of it that way. I feel like a lot of people misunderstand me, but I can hardly bring up the courage to start a conversation to explain myself.
People in the comments under this video prolly aren't addicted to TikTok, I can say that much. To describe their life experience in such ways, it takes some philosophy points and to gain them you have to choose to sit in silence without any distractions and have a high attention span. Which is harder today for most people because of ✨short form content✨ which doesn't let you process information effectively and produce your own thoughts.
Yeah there's less and less of people who can listen
I’m quiet and it kinda sucks bc I have maybe 2 real friends and a whole lotta fake friends. I’m really good at listening to people, though nobody really listens to me.
Are you just assume that they are fake friend based on your feeling, or critical thinking. If it's the latter, then resemble all the sign, or edvidence that shows they're fake friend. Also, if you mostly listen to people, the people you're going to attract are more likely to be an great speaker, and bad at listening. So you can try to speak to them about this.
That’s the thing about life the more you interact with the less the rules apply to you
As a quiet person, this video definitely helped me out a lot. I really need to work on my inner thoughts and the way I talk to myself. I've known this for a while, so this was a welcoming friendly reminder. I'm going to share this video with my husband. My husband is an more of an extrovert and I'm more of an introvert. I feel like this video will help us to better understand each other and ultimately help our communication. It is something that we've been working on, and I feel this video will definitely help in that area. Thank you for this video! 💗
I am always super analyzing, it's just the fact I am afraid I might mess it up or just can't add to it. I love to know everything just it's frustrating. I can't just express sometimes. I love being quiet but depends on the situation. My specialty comes out when people need help or art or gaming. Seems a good way to express
Because we think so much of how many influence it has when we speak, that when we speak our thoughts are actually appreciated!
@@maudreinierkens8762 indeed, or it's the fear taking hold, drowning us making us go numb
Thanks I needed this reflection too 🙏
I'm generally quiet and introverted with people I don't know well , but I'm very loud and laughing all the time with people close to me , and i even dare to say I'm one of the most liked persons for people who know me well , so to the quiet folks out there , being silent in front of other people you're not comfortable with yet is not bad , don't be harsh on yourselves , although it's good to socialize with others , 'cause you might learn new experiences and make beautiful friendships , so don't be afraid to be out there ❤❤❤❤
As a quiet person this is so true. I met many people that has problems because maybe they don't want to show their real feelings and talk about their problems or they just think i was weird because i was a quiet kid. And for a few of my friends came near at me and talk about their problems and i'm so much glad i really help them. Also i maybe quiet but i am considering myself as ambivert but have strong percentage of introvert
Actually i think that people who are introvert think more about emotions and feelings and real problems and that when they talk, its not some sort of nonsense that comes out of their mouth.
@@maudreinierkens8762 That's true. They never lie when it comes feelings to feelings
I really like family get togethers with my wife’s family. I’ve always been a quiet person, and sometimes situations with a lot of people give me anxiety. Almost from the get go they just accepted the fact that’s just how I was and didn’t take issue with it or try and change it. If I just want to listen to everyone, they just let me be. If I join in the conversation, they listen.
It was mind blowing at first, because I love my family, but being a quiet person in social settings is very much NOT acceptable with them.
To be quiet by choice, that would be amazing. But not me. It's not that I even wanted to be the quiet one to begin with. I was basically supressed. As I grew up, I often didn't get to participate in conversations, very rarely getting a chance to speak. So I eventually just stopped trying to. They don't want to hear what I have to say, so why should I try to speak? That was my thinking 10 years ago. And it just evolved into... this. Thanks to that, I am now even more antisocial than a textbook introvert. I'm not the quiet friend that people talk to when they want someone to listen, because I just don't have friends. Except a few, that I rarely get opportunities to speak to since we share barely any classes together, and summer is approaching. So yeah, I'm just the guy that basically never speaks unless I have to. And nobody's gonna try to be friends with "the quiet kid. He doesn't want to socialize, so clearly he doesn't want friends." Bitch, I only don't socialize because I never learned HOW. And I am now realizing I typed an entire paragraph out of one tiny topic. Look at me go, ranting on and on about one thing. Goes to show how desparate I am to share something, ANYTHING.
Edit: Update, just saw the part of this video at parties. I recently was at a party. I didn't go, but was at it since my family hosted it. Everyone was in conversations. Everyone. And I wasn't trying to avoid speaking. I was trying to speak. And I was basically being ignored. I had so much to say. I always do. But never anyone willing to listen. I am in need of a quiet friend that can listen. I am an introvert, but that doesn't mean I want to be silent all the time. Especially with everything building up all this time. Although, when I realized I'm not going to get a word in, I decided to leave the party area and go do something else. How dare I. My parents noticed, and told me to go be with people. Talk to people. Have fun. Like I didn't already try that.
I feel you buddy, same thing with me
❤ we love and support you. You will find people who will be glad to listen to you. Life comes in seasons so don't think that things will always be this way sweetheart
@@EveofPyrite I deeply appreciate those kind, caring words, but it feels like it's too late. Back then, I knew exactly what I wanted to say. Now... It's been too long since I've been regularly in an active conversation. I've basically forgotten how to be social.
Like always, you can’t judge someone until you know them. I had a friend in middle school who was a “quiet kid” however when I got to know her better, I learned that she really likes talking and she talks a lot. Although I knew who she was, whenever someone else talked about her they portrayed her as a nice, quiet, smart girl who got good grades. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it was a very different version than the her I knew.
The content is really cool, very beautiful and useful, especially if there are videos about love because I was in love, then things happened that made me not love, and then I fell in love with the same girl again. I wish you would upload videos about things like this...... I love you for making me take advantage❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
This help me a lot , your videos help me realize a lot about myself, I’ve talked to my friends and therapist and I recommend them your videos, thank you for sharing important information
Well I’m way too far in being a introvert. A little too much because I’m literally treated like a phantom. Absolutely nothing. Not even a reaction. Not even a thought about me.
What can I do if my inner speech is harsh and cold? For me it just seems like ot wont stop no matter what I do about it it always comes back
I find this especially interesting, cuz when i was a child i would literally never shut up, but after transferring to a new secondary school, i adopted these traits befause of the anxiety i felt. Things are different, but I'm still a "quiet person" and ngl i wouldn't change it
You know for me it's more like i become very self concious at times,then i over anaylse everything and then u end up not being able to be a part of the conversation beacause I don't know what to say.
I am self aware most of the time but engaging with others is'nt as easy .
So I frequently get annoyed when people comment that i have gotten quiter and that i should talk more or what am i thinking so seriously about.
I don't even know how to make normal expressions anymore because i am so tense all the time.
I'm glad to hear that wanting to be quiet whilst hanging out with friends isn't wierd. But I do feel a bit guilty, it feels as though I end up being a "taker" so to speak. It's like I'm not giving my friends anything in return.
One of the many upsides about being quiet is that you're usually a good listener just like this video said. Being a good listener usually also comes with the quality of being able to assess the situation and to see if this person just needs to be heard or if this person needs help and/or advise.
I see this in my personal life alot; i have a friend with bpd and most of the time she just needs to be heard instead of being bombarded with advise which she's not gonna follow anyway. After having just a normal conversation and being thanked for listening, it gives me a proud feeling about myself because i was able to do and to understand what others couldn't.
I’ve been forced to be quiet, despite being a loud, outgoing person, because for some reason, people treat me like a 5 year old, treat me like I’m stupid. This is until they need me for something. Usually I love helping others, but I don’t help them because whenever they don’t need something of me they treat me wrong. But when they need help with something in class, all of a sudden all eyes are on me. Being used sucks, and forces people into silence, I’m a prime example. It’s to the point where my friend group is Essentially all the outcasts. That said, it’s good to surround yourself with good, true friends, who’ll help you, as you also help them.
My self awareness is slowly killing me on the inside, and i don’t know what to do about it.
As a quiet person i can say that this is true
I’m not necessarily “shy” but I’m somewhat quiet. Even though I can be sociable at times, I’m REALLY introverted compared to most of my family (except for my cousin maybe) and most of my friends are extroverts as well. I can feel alienated at times, and I try to talk to them and try to get closer, but I personally can feel a bit jealous about how extroverted people tend to have this indescribable “charm” and charisma about them that seems to be able to befriend so many people. I have a few friends, but unfortunately I still haven’t found many people who I can confide in for when I need. Hoping to make that a long-lasting priority and goal. ❤
I am a shy & a quiet person and i enjoy this video :)
I'm not always quiet, and when I'm not I'm super talkative about whatever nerdy thing I'm going on about, I'm like deadly quiet; a 6th one that could be mentioned, is that we quiet people can startle people when we walk behind them without saying anything 😬
I'm quiet, but have a comorbidity of ASC/ADHD, so can lose track of what I need to reply during a conversation, so interject when most necessary.
I always feel like I'm butting in, but have hopefully learned by now when there is a lull in the sentence structure I'm listening to.
I'm always quiet about things I dont want to tell people from what happens at home with my biological family
I'm relatively quiet, and one of the things I noticed that benefit me slightly, but also annoy me to no extent is that when I'm listening to a conversation happening in a group of people, I sort of get ignored as I'm not really adding anything to the conversation, but when I decide to speak up, it usually makes people go quiet and listen carefully to what I might have to add to the conversation. The annoying part is that I also get ignored a lot or not taken into account when something is being group-discussed.
Another thing that seems a bit funny to me is that when talking online in a group through text, not audio calls, when there are conflicts going on and I happen to have something to add, people often get intimidated by just seeing me start to type something up, as literally nobody quite expects me of all people wanting to get involved in a loud and screamy mess. This sort of makes myself getting to be a person of authority in some situations which I'm not a huge fan of most of the times, but also helps me keep an eye out and stop people from doing stupid stuff, which oftentimes gets appreciated.
As one of the quiet people in the internet I will say I like it when people talk because I can just stay quiet but if they do need me to speak I will, but still have to fight my speech anxiety so I can express my feelings more
Really interesting. As a quiet person with no friends I see all the points you raise.....very fascinating.
I got to learn a lot about myself I will consider all of these thank you .
But so if my self -awareness is not good , it's not like I didn't know but I just can't get the idea that how to stop it . Also because of that I am not able to get a goal I just think of my future and the self -awareness kicks in making me think: I can't do it even if I try . And there goes my dream 😢😅
I’m usually pretty quiet and tend to listen to others. The details are a little more than i can comment on here but I will say it can lend towards heightened sensitivity and expansion of imagination. Our type tend to sound more articulated in their speech and writing.
This might be my favorite video of yours❤
As an introverted, very quiet person, I love how this is all so true. It's so factual and very educational.
I was rewarded as the most quiet person in 4th grade. I decided to be homeschooled for 2 years after that. Not because of that "award" but because I can never get used to socializing. My anxiety always kicks in whenever I'm in public. Decided to go to proper school on 7th grade. I'm now in 8th grade, but homeschooled again. But this is my last homeschool experience, cause it's pretty hard too tbh.
I am really sorry that you're anxiety is so bad whenever you are in public, but i am 100% sure you can handle this! Whenever you have a hard time, breath in an breath out and seek a bit of a more quieter space. Also (what i like to do) since im a bit of a reader i sometimes just like to take a book with me and whenever it gets too hard i grab my book and just live in the book for a while. What also helps is writing you're feelings down. I hope this helps! You got this!
fellow quiet person here. I homeschooled in middle school as well and then went to school freshman year. it was a big adjustment and pretty hard, but now I'm in sophomore year with a few really good friends that I can be myself around or just be quiet and comfortable with. In freshman year I was tempted to give up and just go back to homeschool but I didn't and I'm so glad. Don't give up!!
I have really bad social anxiety but i do feel much better now i try not to care what others thinking of me or judged me but i don't give a crap about it that's why I need to get out my comfort zone and go out and try socialized and still my parents are overprotective of me afraid the real world so yeah it was hard for me to go and do normal teenage would do it's sucks 🥺😭
I'm a extrovert who loves being introverted.
It all depends on a person's inner qualities to determine how creative and practical they can be... While also being able to network with others in a healthy manner even if they are a introverted quiet person who prefers to speak only when it's necessary 🌻
And there are quiet introverts who really enjoy their own company in their own ways even if others don't understand them 💯
I am a quiet person i am too self aware of my surroundings and people and this was very relatble that my inner speech takes out all the fun am working on it and the self awareness is helpful too sometimes and i am not intelligent but i do draw and make my own ideas so a really good video
As a quiet person this is truth
I am not introverted, I'd say ambiverted at best and for me, my quietness depends on the person I am with. With my friends and in school I am usually the most confident, not to mention this video taught me that I am more of an extroverted leader although I try my best to seek out other people's interests in a project (although my classmates are stupid and dont care). There are also certain friends I am more open with, like my former crush and good friend and my best friend who I find easy to get absorbed in a conversation with. When meeting new people I tend to be more analytical.
I'm a quiet person and have taken necessary hints about what I should do when I am in society from you. I have grasped thoroughly . Thank you very much.
1:28 agree. Sometimes people don’t want advice, just ads to a convo.. not every convo is someone asking for help and a solution.
Sometimes it can be hard to express yourself because you are expected to be good at listening when you are quiet. Of course, it gives a good feeling when you help someone by hearing the person out, but with an overanalysing mind, a quiet person could overthink that it is unnecessary to be heard when they are expected to be the listener.
It could get into a negative spiral when there isn't some mutuality in listening to each other.
Nice to see the topic being discussed!
DAILY REMINDER THAT YOUR BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE
One thing that kinda confuses me is that, it’s usually not a bad thing if I’m sad. I usually bottle up all my emotions and being sad is just really relaxing cause I can just let go and think about my feelings. But if someone asks if I’m sad, I say “no” because if I say I am they will try to “fix” my feelings and make me happy and I’m like. “Can I just not fake a smile for a for minutes and rest?”
I mean I’m not quiet but I do like quiet people because if we were both talking each other’s ear off neither of us would listen to each other
Okay, I am quiet because of how loud I can get if I don't keep quiet and the way I was raised. "Think before you talk. Try talking with a pencil in your mouth, I don't care if it hurts. You're too emotional!"
I legit feel more like myself when hanging out with my husband and close friends. I can throw caution to the wind and not have to worry how they feel about me. If I was able to do that more often, I'd probably be less depressed.
whoever drew the thumbnail, seriously needs a raise becoz the thumbnail looks soo cute.
oh and btw Nice video.
💖
It's been 1 & half month since i joined coaching & still I've no friends over there & i have not talked to anyone... Not a single student wear mask except me... But i never felt uncomfortable or embrassing... I hardly know anyone & i couldn't even recognise many of the students...
There are many rumours in the class about me 😂😂😂 but i just ignore them and focus on my study
I remember once in chess club we were correcting a game play and everyone was joking around and thinking about the moves to make while the teacher was explaining things and I just started watching the people around me and contemplating this situation that I was in... Was thinking about how we're all human beings on this ride, on this journey of life. Then I came to the realization that I felt like an outside entity watching life, lives happening before my eyes. I was more of an observer then a player of the game that is life in that instance.
Most sane chess player:
not gonna lie I can relate to almost all of this. also this helps me see that I'm too self-aware I believe but I just have a trouble talking in general I'm quiet and I hate it at times but I always listen just I don't have the confidence on things to ask for stuff. I'm kind a glad theirs a video of this because I thought maybe I'm just too depressed on things mostly family at times but I'm glad this video cheer me up a bit for comfort on being a quiet person :)
Hi please could you do a video Explaining how Autism/ Neurodivergency can affect Mental Health Please?
Introverts don't like extroverts, just as much as extroverts don't like Introverts. We just don't feel the need to say " Why are you so loud." Because it's none of our business
Thank you I'm trying to be more mindful and enjoy the moment rather than over analyse everything
When I feel too stressed, my chatterbox disappears and I become mute without control. Idk what one would call that, but I cant even ask for help.
Thank you this helps ❤
😊
You're welcome! Being mindful and focusing on enjoying the present moment can be beneficial for reducing overanalysis. It sounds like when you're stressed, you experience a loss of speech or control. Have you found any strategies that help you in such situations?
@Psych2Go I've heard meditation can help, i feel restless sometimes so I'm finding stuff to entertain myself as I go through life ^_^
Thank you for your videos 🧡
Silent 🔕 but deadly.
So true
👹
Hello
I'm not exactly an introvert, but I am a quiet person and this is so true. I can tell you that with most quiet people, they are always willing to listen, as the first fact says. Don't be afraid to get more personal and develop a deeper connection with a quiet person you know, especially if you're having a hard time and need someone to talk to. It's powerful both for the person talking mostly and the person listening.
Awesome ☺️👍🏾
Very quiet introvert here, and everything mentioned rings true for me as well! Unfortunately I have harmful inner speech though and am extremely critical of everything I do say. 😅
I am an introvert and also a quiet person. I tend to listen more if someone wants to have a conversation with me.
I also want a friend who can listen to me without interrupting my talk and without judging me😢.
Nowadays, I am forcing myself too much to talk and have nice conversations with everyone. It's really hard. As you said in video, I carefully choose words and before saying them, I try them on my mind so many times.
But I am a little confuse. My friends become happy when we have a conversation but I think I am changing and pushing myself too much. Sometimes I feel proud that I did itbut sometimes I become too embarrassed because I said too much in flow😅.
Does psych2go have a video regarding self awareness, such as being overly self aware or how to get out of ones own head
I used to be the friend people vent to about their problems, I just had to nip that in the bud. So while I would listen, I just began to let it go in one ear and out the other.
I’m the only quiet person in a family of talkies and nearly all of my friends. For as long as I can remember I’ve always been that way and I’m proud to be that way but my mum always wanted me to start talking more than listening but it’s not easy, I’ve always been paying more attention to listening and reading body language while talking to people. As a kid it’s not easy for others to understand me but likely most of the time friends on middle and high school understood me but sometimes I had to prove it to them what a quiet person can do.
Does anyone else have a story?
thank you for this! being a quiet person is a blessing, but seen by some in society as a curse.
Quiet people can be talkative at times (either to their parents and/or close trusted friends. Not just with anyone of course). I realized that talking to a wrong person will just send me to a wrong path. If people think we're predictable, well, whatever details we give to them (whether many or little), there are things they do not know about us. For those of you who are quiet like us, do you have a big imagination as well?
Quiet people in public: ...
Quiet people in social media: Please be careful. Take care of your mental health.
I am a quiet person.
My favorite thing to do in my friend group is be the one that people come to to vent and get a hug. It has even become part of my profession, I listen to people having a crisis and talk them into getting help instead of causing a self destructive action using Crisis Intervention Training from law enforcement.
I agree with everything on this list except for the last part.
I don’t think quiet people are self aware at all.
Im quiet, but not an introvert.
Often i see people misunderstanding where my behavior is being introvert/timid/shy, which it isnt.
Also, when i talk the others tend to respect more my turn to speak in contrast of said person talking to another.
Sometimes being quiet and then being angered by someone is hard. Because you know you cant express it so you have to really keep it in. Sometimes we must learn to keep our mouths shut 😊
I'm glad to learn a lot from this channel. As a quiet and introverted person, I can confirm that this is quite true.
Sometimes, I’m so quiet to the point where I wonder if I’ll straight up become mute when my bestest bestie in the history of bestest besties moves next month. Since I tend to avoid talking to people when I’m upset about something, I really hope I don’t get upset to that extent
I'm quiet because nobody wants to listen to me. Ever say something, get ignored then a minute later someone else in the same room says the same thing and get's all sort of attention from it?
While I don't like to deal in absolutes I feel like quiet people are a product of nurture due to not being likable by others.
You're making a mistake, whenever you enter a new social group the first thing people will notice is your appearance then your personality. Your mistake is about being quiet and not expressing yourself very well. If you don't provide anything to the group besides your standing there, you'll often be seen as dumb, and people will not pay attention to what you say. But if you are quiet and whenever you open your mouth to say something nobody thought of, that's gold, and people will think "Huh, he's smart alright."
Being quiet and good-looking is also a plus, but even these kinds of people will have to provide something besides their beauty, a joke is often enough. Hope that helps.
@@zkennedy5671 Thank you for the tips. :) and reading my post. I guess it's like the ol' "No decision is worse that a bad one"
Saying something is better than saying nothing at all?
@@Novaximus Why should you start a conversation with people, and not the other way around? If they ignore you, don't waste your time on something that isn't worth it.
I don't start conversations with people, they often ask me questions and I answer them, they ask even more questions and I get bored. I can feel when someone is trying so hard to engage with me, and I get repulsive about that person 'cause they often can't think for themself or need validation (look I'm here), I'm not being rude but those who can hold silence around me are the most secure people in the room, they've spent enough time inside their head to know themself, and (thank god) I don't need to feed their ego.
So answering your question: Believe it or not communication nowadays outclass knowledge, you can be pretty damn smart but what's the use of if you can't share it?
It's Not What You Say It's How You Say It, people like those who are similar to them, your tone of voice, how you express yourself, body language so on... all of these can attract or repel people.
If you like your own company, you don't need to force yourself into people, just be yourself. But if you like people try to work on your communication and body language. Just be you.
@@zkennedy5671 Most of the people I see daily are just coworkers.
Otherwise I agree. I ordinarily won't peruse a conversation with someone that doesn't want to be around me.
Krammer from Seinfeld pops into my head when you mentioned body language and being more expressive. Being boisterous doesn't come naturally to me. Maybe that's why I watch so many reaction videos?
The whole self-awareness thing hit hard, I've always felt pressured to socialize so every time I stay quiet there's a recuring thought that forces me to speak, making me feel bad about my quiet self and it sucks, I want to just enjoy being there without feeling guilty for not talking
it makes it even harder when the person who speaks with you just asks why are you quiet? talk something!
I can 100% relate to the leadership part, I struggle way more when people around dont have tha passionand ideas, as just delgating things to be done seems so frustrating
I'm quiet all the time just Because I'm constantly upset that I can't talk to people normally, and I do a 180 on my personality which turns me into quiet shy type person at school, which makes it even harder for me to talk to people! I'm frustrated, but I know I cannot just give up and any type of information that makes me understand myself is very much appreciated and I would like to understand myself more😊🙏
thank you for videos like this! ❤️
I’m also quiet so I deal with this a lot too. I am constantly asked about my speech, height, grade, etc.
@catfriend8888 I feel you mate❤️ I'm short for my grade, and I'm skinny so there's some attention to me because of that. Let's not forget who we are and continue being ourselves ^^
Hi phys2go 😊
Anything about antisocial people who use rude sayings to call people out of their flaws? Like straight up calling someone fat because they eat too much while the other person has to stay on budget because of their financial problems. Or if that person always sleeps around during their tutoring session because they're tired after working many hours but the tutor just calls her a lazy s|ut for making things hard for them?
I’m sorry you endured that
@@jakezilla9373 it's not me who experienced it. It's someone who I observed from afar. But thanks for your pity.
I'm a quiet person, many people and mates told me that, and yes, I feel identified 😊 Specially the part of self-awareness. Idk if I have depression (bc I live in constant denial), but yeah, this video is really accurate, thank u.
I'm the 'quiet listener', mostly when I'm medicated but also because my ADHD-developed sleep disorder overwrites my ADHD's urge to babble incessantly 😅 But then my ADHD-addled brain can only offer advice when I relate it to a personal story (it's my way of understanding their circumstance) so I'm often misunderstood and it gets a little awkward 🥹
I relate to the self-awareness part. I generally don't like speaking out as I am comfortable staying quiet until spoken to and I tend to catch myself overthinking my words so much that I stumble on my sentences every single time I try to actually talk with others, and when I just let go I often accidently say rude things despite it not being my intention.
I try to be better at communicating and being a team person, since my current workspace requires me to do so, but I'm still having a hard time.
But I don't let it discourage me. If it hurts that day, I let it all out and prepare for the next day. Failing or making mistakes can be hurtful, but giving up is even more so.
Enjoy the silence ♡
On self-awareness: equally, if you're autistic, you're probably not getting fun out ot interacting with neurotypical people, and you're aware that your differences have resulted in pain and trauma in the past, and that trauma can inform your inner speech, for better or worse. You probably don't feel that way around other autistic people, and likely experience more positive inner speech in those situations.
I’m very quiet. And I find speaking to be utterly exhausting. I often wonder how people find the energy to speak so much about so many things.