As an introvert (not shy I just prefer solitude e.g. being home or in nature) I wouldn't try to meet girls at a bar or club, because I hate going to them. I'd be attracting the wrong kind of person for my psychological disposition. If you get a girl at a bar, then you're dating someone who likes to go to bars, so right off the bat you're not compatable. You'd be better off meeting a girl in a book store or coffee shop. Find a girl enjoying a solo activity and you're bettering your chances of finding someone compatable.
This is interesting and not necessarily bad advice at all - Although I want to add one caveat from my own experience... I'm a mild introvert by disposition, and I don't drink alchohol at all... So in theory, going to bars is a poor way to meet women who are like me.. And yet, I consistently find women in bars who dont' drink much and who are a bit introverted... The reason being mostly that even introverted non-alocholics get dragged to bars by friends for birthdays, hen's nights, catch ups with old firends. BUT all that being said, I don't think any man who is a fish out of water in a bar (i.e. just hates bars ) should bother going to one to find women - always better to be in a space you feel comfortable for sure.
If you're just trying to have a good time then bars definitely can be a good spot. You just have to feel the vibe. I walked in and left minutes later just because I didn't like the vibe. I don't go out anymore because I've got a 1 year old and a girlfriend but even when I was in my early 20s I'd only go maybe 10 times a year and Ive had some great times. But as far as a relationship, if that's what you're looking for then I wouldn't go to bars. But really finding a woman that is relationship material nowadays is pretty rare. One night stands and smash buddies were never a problem for me. But finding a legitimate relationship and some one who was willing to put forth the effort I was, was hard as hell to find.
@@alexvazquez7098 Understandable. They're just not for me. I'm not a drinker and I don't like busy noisy places with people acting foolish. When I've been stuck in a place, I watch people like they're animals and observe all their weird mating rituals and posturing. That's probably the only entertaining part for me. haha. Have a great night.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thanks um, ive done online dating, Dance classes and even liuke Martial arts and such. But I never end up talking to women and they don't end up talking to me , im 26 btw.
Have tinder, am decent looking. 6 matches in 5 months, zero dates. Half of them didn't even respond to my non-just-hi message. Fuck online dating. Update two years later: Bros it finally worked! Met my first girlfriend now through that stupid app! Not even encouraging anyone though, still hate the app lmao
I don't trust online dating. At the end of the day, like all apps they're designed to make money/ draw you in to keep using them so it wouldn't make much sense for them to actually work. That being said I admit I've never tried it
Girls honestly only get on dating apps just to make the profile and look at people. I doubt the majority take it seriously to find someone compared to meeting someone in person
Same except I went on one date from tinder. The pictures this chick had were from when she was 50 pounds lighter. When I met up with her my jaw dropped. I pretended my friend called with an emergency and awkwardly left... 😅
Me: Alright, I was thinking if learning a language anyway. Language Class: Woman 1: Oh my husband is pretty fluent. Woman 2: I'm trying to find a better way to teach my boyfriend. Woman 3: My kid is helping me.
If you're not good looking or good at making yourself look good/interesting in photos and bio's yes! But I got my first and last girlfriend from Tinder and had a good relationship for a bit until I realised she lived too far for me. Its not for everyone, but if you have patience it can work.
I wouldn't go that far. The way I see it is that it's like trying to get into Harvard or Cal Tech. Many guys want women, but only the lucky few (who are usually tall, rich, and white) will actually get them.
@@Cris18Martinez its a scam I have been using them. Since I was a teenager and now I am in my middle 40s. Literally I have used them for multiple decades and on. Never have I ever gotten one damn reply. You might get lucky if your in the 1%. But thats like winning the lottery. Its a damn scam.
I didn’t realize just how introverted I was until you were scrolling down that list on MeetUp and I was actively terrified of just going to any of these..
Well keep in mind, this might not be becuase you're an introvert - it sounds more like it could be because you are shy - those aren't the same thing :)
Dear Damien, I'm not sure about the creepiness factor in taking dance classes to meet women. If your only aim is to meet women and not being interested in dancing at all, isn't that maximum creepy? I'd be really interested in a video about creepiness as I feel often being creepy lately ...
Yes I don't disagree - a HUGE amount here depends on how you go about it - And yes actually with any of these activities, you should be picking activities that you actually want to learn, or you won't fit in anyway, and women really won't be that interested.
@Bob Salazar basically, "creepy" occurs when incongruities between actions and/or words are given. Say, someone going out to an event only to meet women and not because of the event has an incongruity. His action states that he is interested in what is going on, yet another set of actions states that he is not interested in what is going on. Since both cannot be true at the same time, this man is obviously practicing some form of deception. Since he is being deceptive, and he is obviously after the girl, well... if you only have those two pieces of information you can assume that he only wants the girl for what she can directly offer and not for her character. Which isn't exactly flattering for anyone. Now all of this can be easily resolved if you actually enjoy doing said activity
@Bob Salazar I think creepiness is something that men maybe don't experience in the same way as women. I think it boils down to the fact that in general, most men can physically overpower most women. For many women, especially ones who are short or physically weak, this fact is sort of engrained into the back of our minds. If anything feels off when talking to a guy, we have a natural instinct of fear or caution. We end up labelling the guy as "creepy", even if the guy had no bad intentions. I know it must be hard for men to avoid coming off as creepy, but I think the best thing you can do is shoot your shot once, then reciprocate however much attention she gives you back.
Statistically yes - because statistically most men don't put in enough effort building an ideal profile - Sadly, it takes some actual work these days - I've had clients who weren't just above average, they were very attractive and still had trouble... I have clients who are just a bit above average and do very well. It's so frustrating though, becuase it's such a competitive landscape now and can easily be very discouraging.
Most clubs that I've joined have been very inviting and made me feel welcome and comfortable. When you try to get past that social anxiety barrier it gets better each time you go, trust me.
I'm 59 and find it incredibly difficult to meet any women. I've never been married, engaged or lived with anyone or have any children. it seems that everyone in my city is taken, or so they keep telling me. I've tried dating apps and websites to no avail. Oh well .....
Been there, done that...zero results. I'm shy and awkward and while showing up is "half the battle", being awkward makes it pointless. Having 2 left feet quickly lets girls know you're also physically awkward and very soon you won't have anyone willing to dance with you as they will have better options. Women will smell your awkwardness from a mile away. You don't even need to walk up and talk to her and you can sense the disappointment. And I agree that online dating as a below average guy is a waste of time. I might actually get 1 date every 2-3 years...and then she gets to see my awkwardness in action and be absolutely unimpressed.
boy do I have a story. I was visiting a buddy of mine in TN and he took me to a dance lesson class. I am 6ft 9in average chub but extremely extremely poor in coordination. I'll walk with friends and randomly bump into them frequently and knock stuff over all the time. This is why I never did basketball or other sports. Anyways this place was packed with woman and men of all ages, and I absolutely was a nervous wreck before we even started. The dances were awful with me as I struggled to even do basics. I will say though that the older woman and elderly goers made it enjoyable despite my trainwreck dancing skills, but the younger ones my age (I am gen Z) were so displeased that I could feel the cringe. I ended up sitting on a bench after one of the younger ones made negative comments about me haha. Oh and don't get me going about online dating. I've used it for a combined total of 5 days over 3 years and have had nothing even worth meeting with. One magical encounter resulted in her having a 30 minute phone call that left me more confused than disgusted. I kind of am giving up for now and will just swim every day before grad school to get in shape but idk
I can't be arsed dating. I just wanna meet someone who likes me and have some good times. Trouble is i find it hard to be alpha male cos I've been conditioned. Hollywood has played a big part in putting me off approaching women incase they think I'm a creep.
Seems like valuable info. I was homeschooled from 4th through 12th and had a semester of college underway before returning home due to quarantine. This video seems to apply to me greatly.
I'm an introvert but have super good social skills once I meet people and have no issues talking for hours with people. however I havnt been out for about 2 years now while focusing on my career. Im 22 and am where 27 or older people are in their lives. I just recently purchased my first home. my issue I have is I don't really have people to go to bars with to meet people my age. and the meetups in my city genuinely give me the vibe that I'm a bit young. most are 25 or older. Im just trying to come up with some ways I can get out more without anyone to meed people and expand my friend circle.
You will be on the younger side (because most 22 year old still have their highschool/college friends around) - It isn't until around 25 that people disconnect and grow apart. But that's okay, all you really need is a 'base' of friends that you can branch off from to go talk to other girls and then return to afterwards. I was alwys the youngest in my group by damn near 8-10 years.
I’ve never had a problem with meeting women I’ve just had a problem with meeting women that I can see in person because every single person I meet is way too far away to hang out with. Is it too much to ask to meet someone within one hour? If my place
8:16 The reason why there aren't many peoples doing sports is because their P.E Teachers, Friends or Dads will have pestered them into sports (mainly Football) and stupidly think that it will get em into loving sports as much as they do but it's just making them hate it they should just let them choose what they want to do or try theres no way society is going make everyone love sports or Football no matter what try or say That's a fact deal with it
@@shodak9445 real men don't usually keep female friends. When males and females are "friends," that's usually the way she decided the relationship was going to be, and he agreed. He's playing along, hoping things turn out like they do in the movies; that she'll eventually see how sweet, and wonderful, and nice he is, and she'll come around. Little does he realize that if she does come around, he'll be stuck in a horrible relationship as her subservient little bitch. But those dreams of slavery won't come true; because she's not coming around; because nice doesn't get her pussy wet. Sad but true.
Dan - it's strange you say that - I know a LOT of introverts who have done exactly that - are you confusing shy - or social anxiety with Introversion? Because the two really aren't the same thing. In fact, the friend who got me into Salsa dancing is a really big introvert - stereotypically so.
Supply and demand. I've never used online dating but when you think about it apps are designed to make money/ addict you to keep using them. It would make no sense for them to actually work (because then you'd stop using it) . Best way is to get good at attracting women in real life
If you are in high school and want to know women(and don’t do sports), do cross country, as it is a coed sport(this works better if your coach has boys and girls run and train together). Why not track and field? I say this because cross country typically has less kids, and you run for longer distances, which means you have more time to learn how these girls work(this was the case with me as I was slow for the first year, since I had never ran before in my life, and I could take in how the girls worked before I started running with them as I was faster.) Not only that, but by the time track and field starts, you will have the foundation of talking with your girl teammates, so when track hits, you won’t feel as uncomfortable talking with girls. One last thing, if you struggle in your first year of cross, but progressively get better, the girls will then see that and see how tough and determined you are.
Online dating is all about the looks, confidence, and country of origin (not race). The biggest waste of time, energy and money - once you finally find someone to quickly discover she's in dire need of financial help.
Sorry but Meetup is mostly full of what I refer to as 'the people that life left behind'. Either unattractive, weird, desperate or all three. Same with speed dating.
Sports - Forget about tennis, soccer, basketball. These are completely male dominated, especially on the higher levels. You need something like beach volleyball. Classes - You need something where there is interaction like acting. There was not a lot of interacting in drawing, cooking, singing. Still these classes usually run for a few weeks and you may meet only 4-5 women there. Not efficient. Social groups - You'll meet a lot of socially awkward weird people, most women will avoid these. Rock climbing would be an exception. Dancing - This is the best one but you need to do a partnered dance and actually learn to dance. Hip hop will be 90% 20yo females but not much natural interaction, almost the same as cold approaching. Salsa always has more guys than girls, though on the advanced level it evens out. In my opinion it's better to bite the bullet and learn cold approaching. That is the efficient way to practice. Otherwise you will feel it's up to fate and you have no control over who you meet. Not a good place to be. Just accept it that as an introvert you will have to work harder.
Hip Hop is 90% 20yo females? That's a plus xD. I would love to know the statistics for each dance/sport, but those are kinda hard to find - specially due to the creepiness factor =S
@@Random8181 A guy whose skills are strong needs to approach about 5 to get on with one. You can easily approach 5 in half an hour. Regardless, I was talking more about building up your skills. To do that you need to approach a lot. This video was about how to meet more women and not about whether it's worth the effort over something else. Everyone needs to make their own decision about that.
Unless you live in new york or some other metropolis, cold approaching will only get you stigmatized as "that guy who is trying to hook up every girl". In uni I had 90% girls and you had to be careful who you hit on, because as soon as you did, the news would spread like wildfire and everybody else would know. Here in Italy we also have many people who cold approach people not for dating but for asking money or trying to sell stuff, I think you can see the problem there... Unless you have business talking to someone, the natural reaction is to repel this person, heck even I would do this if I were a woman. Even if you cold approach for friendship there is always the "why the fuck are you talking to me?" problem
Speaking from experience, dance classes are the worst places to meet women. The vast majority of the women are there to learn how to dance and are already in relationships. I learned this the hard way and wasted a lot of money.
This should be the comment at the top. Number one reason is being in control of who you meet and not letting fate decide for you. Joining these social groups/activities is like putting yourself in another school or work environment. Limiting yourself to whoever is in your social group. It could be girls that aren’t your first choice. With 50% of marriages ending in divorce I truly believe one of the biggest factors is because people get with someone they truly don’t want to be with. Cold approach unfortunately is a hard reality all introverts must face if they want to be truly happy with someone they want.
Honestly after seeing a number of these videos - I think the answer is: 1. Figure out a way to level up your life. New job, make a few more bucks 2. Talk to a lot of girls along the way 3. Be cool with rejection. don’t look at a few no’s as rejection. Just part of the deal. No risk no reward. Everything comes easy three days, a woman isn’t a microwave dinner
Yea except when tons of these women don't work on themselves since tons of men are down bad and give them attention so they don't have to. Finding a well rounded single girl who's not obese is extremely rare.
Introvert, likes solo activities, terrible social circle, no social media too, and college isn't an option What are my chances if I don't use dating apps? Probably zero
Well... All these things are still a choice - Just becuase you're an interovert doesn't mean you are incapable of doing group activities for example.. It doesn't mean you can't approach girls during the day or night... Only that you'd prefer not to...
@@SchoolOfAttraction I guess those are some options, though I have my concerns Doing group activities just to "get girls" doesn't sit well with me Also, my social skills are dogshit, don't think I would have much result with random approach, besides, it seems shallow to go only for looks...
Okay so what your saying makes sense... We do have to do things that aren't fun to get most of the things we want... Think working 9-5 for example.. That doesn't 'sit well' with most people, but they put up with it. Although maybe just to 'get girls' is the wrong way to consider it... what about "To find a long term partner, you're going ot have to meet and date a buch of women" - that certaily has value, especially for long term happiness. Social skills.. yeah.. this is the trap guys fall into a lot, thye have lives with not much social activity, as a result their socialskills are lacking, but you can improve those skills before you even start trying ot flirt with women.
Not politics... as a long time political junkie, I joined an electoral district association and rose through the ranks to become CEO for 3 years. No eligible single women ever showed up at events. I've tried local hiking and biking groups, but they collapsed during the lockdown and gradually restarting now. Skiing was a bust, since all bus tours were canceled. The hiking group was great because of the ad hoc carpooling arrangements- but no one's been willing to get in to another's car for 2 years. But I do have one short lived success to share. On New Year's Day, I received messages from a nearby woman through tinder, and we agreed to meet for a walk. I was determined to go for an extensive 12 km walk through a forest preserve in her area, and let her know that would appreciate her company. She said that she was (temporarily) without a car... so we arranged to meet at a parking lot near her home. I saw her, got out of the car and boldly said "I'm not in the habit of letting strange women get in to my car. You're not in the habit of getting into the car of strange men. We both want to get to this hike. So let's introduce ourselves formerly, and reach a point of comfort sufficient to convince us both that this is good risk!" That worked, and we had a good day date, and a few more that included home made dinners at my place or hers while watching a movie, with increasing physical intimacy. She ghosted me a few days into February with a message that she had not healed from her past relationships (she was twice widowed, due to cancer that killed her husband and covid related issues that killed her previous partner, and I had perhaps upset her by inviting her to share about how she had dealt with her grief- which she had not), and I miss her... but it gave me confidence to try again...
The problem with these social groups is it’s the same thing as school or work social groups. You’re limited to who is in your social group, which could be unattractive people. Sorry fellow introverts, but you’ll have to suck it up and learn to cold approach if you really want someone you’ll be happy with.
But my p'oint is there are many social groups - you get to pick and choose - unlike school. Here where I live, I could do salsa/bachata (what are teh odds of no attractive women??) - I could take surfing lessons - I could start acroyoga etc. All of thes will likely include attractive women.
Quite recently ive realized i want to be in a relationship but also not, i like the idea of being with a woman, a partner that walks the road of life with me but i dont really like most people x(
3:10 but those are social events, introverts don’t like to go outside. And dating apps are terrible. It just seems like there are no good options for people who don’t like to leave their home
I mean, there can't possibly be an option for dating for someone who doesn't want to leave their homes... My experience with introverts however is this.... 90% of introverts are experiencing too little social interaction becuase their proclivity to solitutde has become more pathological than anything else - we live in an era where it's too easy for an introvert to become socially lazy. I don't say that as an attack on you or me or any other introvert.... It's simply a fact that in generations past, at lesat introverts would go to church and church functions - they'd attend family events and community events... They may not enjoy them as much as the average extrovert, but they'd be there and meet people. That's missing completely now. So YES most introverts need to be more social, not just to meet women, but for their emotional health. Loneliness is worse than smoking for long term health outcomes.
I have in other videos - But there are still plenty of real accounts, you just ignore the fake ones - so it's not really a huge deal, just some extra left swipes
My problem is my work has me on very inconsistent hours. I don't know what days I'll have off, and what days I work and when until Thursday at the earliest. As much as I want to join a group or two it's not very feasible for me.
Yeah pretty much. I am 19 and running a robotics company and don't want to invest such emotions yet at the same time I never had a gf and I wanna experience it.
have you went to any of those meetups? there is usually two women. You will have time to talk to one of them. when you ask out the one you were talking to, they will say" come back next meetup session, and we will have a great conversation then." that woman only attends once every 20 months. 20 months pass...they forgot that they invited you to talk to them. Dance classes suck for dating.
Then that makes the women garbage. We have brains. We're supposed to use them. A true woman will be attracted to intelligence which deep thinking is an aspect of.
What if I'm an introvert woman 😮 .... I'm joking I'm an introvert indeed and I found so much peace regarding getting a couple when I accepted myself. Finding a man similar to me and unique in what he enjoys has been very beautiful, when I'm with him I feel peace and he also feels it, I love him for who he is and I feel he also loves me for who I am, no interests, no stress to show off on social media, no social requirements to be judge successful, just peace and space for self development while caring for each other.... And yeah none of us were on tinder or things like that haha
Its not that i cant talk to people its the finding where to start that is my problem especially on top of the fact its been 4 weeks since me and my gf of 5 years broke up snd its hard to move on i mainly just want someone to talk to more than a actual gf
That sort of thing is going to take more than 4 weeks to heal from man. Keep at it. This is a time for leveling up your own life. We're not meant to handle drastic changes like that, but these are what help us grow. You'll pull through to the other end if you can keep your chin up. It's alright to feel crappy too from it all. A real woman will appreciate that down the road.
Introverts are perfectly capable of doing these things... IT's certainly MUCH easier to do these thigns as an introvert than it is to spend all your weekends in bars cold approaching women. Introvert OR extrovert, nobody enjoys taking the risk of talking to women... So everyone has to do stuff they don't like to hopefully get a reward... I have to do things I don't like to make money... I enjoy my job plenty - but not all teh tasks are enjoyable. That's essentially life. But at least these ideas are better than the alternatives for introverts.
@@SchoolOfAttraction but if I go to yoga classes or whatever then I'll meet women that like going to yoga class. If I go to the club then I'll meet women that like clubbing. The issue with doing all these extroverts activities is you meet other exteoverts
You consider Yoga an extrovert activity? That's interesting. What about rock climbing or bush walking or photography? Most people doing these activities are introverts in my experienve.
in my experience, online dating is not a great option, kind of a last resort/backburner activity that i do but don't put stock into. my only gf i've ever had unfortunately came from going up to a girl i didn't really know that well that worked at the school i go to and we hit it off. but it was so scary hahaha
I absolutely REFUSE to be that “creep” who takes a cooking or ball room dancing class just to meet women. And Meetup groups are (in my experience) 90% thirsty guys and 10% married couples looking to expand their social circle anyway. Also...Just because she’s single doesn’t mean that she’ll want anything to do with you lol.
I'm not sure what KCK is, or what dance classes you've tried, but everywhere I've been in the world ot Salsa classes (about 20 cities) women have vastly outnumbered men.
Those are actually good advices for at least average looking guys who are slightly introvert and who ran out of ideas, kinda like me. So, great for me, but I think some guys out there are probably too introverted/frustrated/desperate to even attempt any of these. Hence why you're getting some negative comments. I totally understand them though, but I want to be honest : that attitude won't get you guys anywhere.
Hey Alexandre - thanks for the logical argument point here - it's worth responding to :) The difficulty in my mind comes when people conflate "introverted" with "Socially Anxious" they aren't the same thing - Introverts are more likely to have social anxiety becuase they are less likely to socialise when younger and build the required social experience/competence it's true.. BUT - While research strongly suggets that you can't STOP being introverted - it does clearly show that you can overcome social anxiety and have a healthy social life (albeit one where you spend less time around large groups, and spend more time alone than the average extrovert/ambivert). I agree - men with high social anxiety - NEED to work on that first before any of these strategies are useful. And I agree, plenty of very introverted men will have social anxiety. I just want to point out that those men can and should eventually start using some of these strategies to get out more. I've worked with many introverted men who assumed their fear of social situations and their introversion was the same thing. That's sad, because then you'd feel like yoiu could never recover... If youre very introverted but socialising only as much as you want (with no psychological issues in the way such as social anxiety) - you aren't sad or lonely or depressed. You're content and relatively happy with your lifestyle - even if its one that involves lots of alone time away from people.
@@SchoolOfAttraction You essentially said nothing dumbass. Social anxiety is caused by introversion. You essentially said, don't be an introvert. Fucking dumbass.
You meet women the same way your parents/grandparents/great-grandparents/etc. met: school, work, houses of worship, through friends, relatives, or bars/clubs/restaurants/other social environments. If you do not meet anyone, it's either because you're not trying hard enough, you need to work on your appearance, attitude/personality, or it's simply not your time yet.
Do you honestly think the dating world hasn't changed though? Most friends groups are smaller than ever - Workplace harassment is scary and daunting - religion is rarer and rareer (outside of the us especially) - family units are much less tight knit - bars are creating rules against approaching women (yeah its becoming a thing in some bars). There are a bunch of other pressures on both men and women that never were there before and it's making it hard for both genders. I don't believe just telling people to do it the way their parents and grandparents did it is that relevant in today's rapidly changing environment.
Sorry bud, your comment confuses me... I never suggested you'd want to meet a woman like that - I don't drink at all myself, so always prefer women who don't drink much.
what do I have to lose I'm not meeting any woman at my local super market. espically not my type plus the ratio is bad like 10 men for every nine woman I need to be at least 10 woman and guys in the 3's
I don't like any of these ideas. Most women only do yoga and get drunk on the weekends. Plus I'm old. Like 50 and women my age I'm not even attracted to. My 9 year dating hiatus continues on. My next t shirt will be saying "I'm ugly on the inside too". Sums it up.
I tried to join the Meet Up but I live in a small town and there is nothing close by going on. The other issue is men my age (50s) want younger women and get them. It is hard for us women too!
I personally feel like im not worst looking guy. I can talk but i always feel like when i talk to woman i dont know what to say and i come off as boring. I think its just the talking part that makes me nervous about it,
This is really one of those things that improve with practice - it's often the overthinking of what you're going to say that's the demon here - I konw SO MANY guys who get caught up trying ot think of what to say instead of just getting out there and seeing what happens - Sometimes you get some awkward silences, but after that happens the first couple of times, think about what you could have said instead in those moments - But generally this doesn't play out in reality anywhere near as severely as it does when we picture it all happening in ouir minds.
@@SchoolOfAttraction yes i wouldnt say im shy. Its just more the fact of coming up with things to say. If the girl approaches me its easier if shes more of a talker. Another issue i find is just trying to find somewhere to meet a good girl.
Honestly - you can meet a good girl ANYWHERE - I learned that over the years - People often wonder where to meet the right kind of woman - and obviously there will be trends in teh kinds of women who visit specific kinds of places - but I've met AMAZING non-alcoholics at bars/clubs - in fact I do this regularly even though they would be the minorities at these locations - I don't drink alcohol either fyi. BUT - what tends to happen is that we attract people who reflect what we have going on internally - so when people are constnatly meeting teh wrong kinds of partner is far more likely to be a product of them not working on something internally than them meeting women in teh wrong places.
1) No guy, you are not an introvert. 2) I really, really, REALLY dislike dancing. 3) I really, REALLY, REALLY dislike sports. My self-esteem drops through the floor when I've participated in sports. Took the personality test ... meh.
Sun, yes, yes I am an introvert - I think my original phychologist who introduced me to understanding myself as an introvert might know better than you
1. What if you don't live in or near a major city 2. No classes around here, plus I am an adult 3. Online dating is trash 4 No classes around here 5. non of that around here All of these are ok if you live in or around a major city, if you don't your fucked.
Well yeah I mean if you live nowhere near any kind of population density, you really are a bit screwed - whether you are an extrovert or an introvert. You have to be incredibly lucky that from the extremely small dating pool around your age group that there's a woman you find attractive who likes you back. But that has ALWAYS been the case in dating for millenia.
My town has none of these things. There aren't any meetup groups. The only dance studio is for kids. I'm already on 3 dating apps and I've gotten 1 date in 2 years.
It could be because you live in a small town by the sounds of things? Small towns are always much harder.. you really need a population of at least 250,000
Approach single women at grocery stores and Walmart. Say hi and some small non-threatening thing, like a compliment or about the weather. If they seem friendly at that point - say hey my name is ---, can I get your number? I am single, I have had discussions many times with a male friend (also single) and he has said that Walmart should have singles nights. Everyone is single, but no one talks to each other. MEN YOU NEED TO BE DOING THIS.
That's fair - are you sure you don't mean 'shy' rather than introverted? The two aren't teh same thing - that's why I ask - you can get over being so socially shy - whereas your introversion levels remain quite fixed.
Meet-up is great. I don't meet many attractive singles there though. But it gives me a chance to do something I enjoy - Game nights, Christmas parties, swing dancing etc. Online dating?? Pah! It makes introverts even worse. Introverts need to be out in real life practicing their social skills and talking to actual people.
Online dating is good, i met lots of people from it. 'Going out there' is very hard for introverts and it's stupid advice considering the nature of this video.
@@adamknight5089 Stupid is unnecessary. But consider that you think 'virtual reality' is the same as meeting people in real life, I can see why your perspective is skewed. The maker of this video does not know all, but even he understands it can be tricky for introverts. Cheers!
@@SchoolOfAttraction Honestly, not. If you're looking forward to hearing more details. My old girlfriend left me because I'm in my late 20's but still don't have a guaranteed well job and salary. I know it's also depending on the individual's character but just enlarge the contingency of the my options.
@@Pikachu-lk9yx If you are going about your life in a positive way with a good attitude, taking care of your responsibilities and some sense of direction there's really no reason why a decent woman would leave you. It has nothing to do with your bank balance.
From what i hear those two things are not the only nor the most important two things a decent women hell a decent human being would care about. Even if you had those two things, you would probably then complain that "women are so shallow cuz all they care about is my looks and money." Also would you even want to be with some who is that materialistic and shallow?
Wealth being neccessary is a myth, yeah sure you'll need it go get into social circles with rich girls, but for normal girls its redundant. Some of the most successful guys out there are living in one room apartments with no furniture, yet they've got "the look" that makes women hot for them and the attitude that keeps them coming back for more.
Hey Damien, I've passed your personality test recently and wanted to know if I could benefit from it in terms of personal growth. I do see that there are stats on what my personnality traits are stated to be but I don't understand how they are useful to me. I can certainly work on improving them but you're not giving any material that can help me make them better. By the way, I found out that most of the answers that were given to me about my personality in your personality test were wrong... It's really a pity since I would've loved to work on myself more. It might be because I've passed your test really late at night while being tired, but the results that are showing are in total contradiction with who I know I am. Per exemple, it says that I'm dominant to the point where I don't accept making mistakes and usually blame others which is totally false and is weird since I've clearly stated through my answers that I'm a really growth centered person and that I LOVE getting feedback from people in everything I do (even the bad things). Though I might feel a bit awkward in a given moment about my actions, the emotions will all pass calmly because in the end I know that wether it's now or 10 years from now, it doesn't matter because I'm just going to learn my lesson, get better and move on. Stats also say that I'm an abstract thinker, cherry picking information on attraction skills which is COMPLETELY FALSE. On top of that, it is said that I need to be intellectually stimulated during conversations when in reality I would rather eat rocks than touch a book that contains any kind of numbers in it (except my little black book). I personally love subjects like social dynamics, psychology, attraction, women and being a man and quickly get annoyed by subjects that imply hardcore science like quantum physics, physics, biology, chemistry, etc... The only reason for me to learn about these is because they're a necessity and nothing more. I would never read any book on these subjects for pure fun.
As an introvert (not shy I just prefer solitude e.g. being home or in nature) I wouldn't try to meet girls at a bar or club, because I hate going to them. I'd be attracting the wrong kind of person for my psychological disposition. If you get a girl at a bar, then you're dating someone who likes to go to bars, so right off the bat you're not compatable. You'd be better off meeting a girl in a book store or coffee shop. Find a girl enjoying a solo activity and you're bettering your chances of finding someone compatable.
This is interesting and not necessarily bad advice at all - Although I want to add one caveat from my own experience... I'm a mild introvert by disposition, and I don't drink alchohol at all... So in theory, going to bars is a poor way to meet women who are like me.. And yet, I consistently find women in bars who dont' drink much and who are a bit introverted...
The reason being mostly that even introverted non-alocholics get dragged to bars by friends for birthdays, hen's nights, catch ups with old firends.
BUT all that being said, I don't think any man who is a fish out of water in a bar (i.e. just hates bars ) should bother going to one to find women - always better to be in a space you feel comfortable for sure.
If you're just trying to have a good time then bars definitely can be a good spot. You just have to feel the vibe. I walked in and left minutes later just because I didn't like the vibe. I don't go out anymore because I've got a 1 year old and a girlfriend but even when I was in my early 20s I'd only go maybe 10 times a year and Ive had some great times. But as far as a relationship, if that's what you're looking for then I wouldn't go to bars. But really finding a woman that is relationship material nowadays is pretty rare. One night stands and smash buddies were never a problem for me. But finding a legitimate relationship and some one who was willing to put forth the effort I was, was hard as hell to find.
@@alexvazquez7098 Understandable. They're just not for me. I'm not a drinker and I don't like busy noisy places with people acting foolish. When I've been stuck in a place, I watch people like they're animals and observe all their weird mating rituals and posturing. That's probably the only entertaining part for me. haha. Have a great night.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Thanks um, ive done online dating, Dance classes and even liuke Martial arts and such. But I never end up talking to women and they don't end up talking to me , im 26 btw.
Wrong bud, just always approach what turns you on. A lot of good woman in weird places
1994=we will have flying cars in future
2023=5 easiest way to meet women
Meeting women is like trying to solve the global energy crisis.
You have a great sense of humor. :) That's a great plus in any hot man!
What about an ugly man?
Open up the pipeline.
@@kaizenborntowin like...the anus?
Build more nuclear reactors?
Have tinder, am decent looking. 6 matches in 5 months, zero dates. Half of them didn't even respond to my non-just-hi message. Fuck online dating.
Update two years later: Bros it finally worked! Met my first girlfriend now through that stupid app! Not even encouraging anyone though, still hate the app lmao
Lol no dislikes on this comment, I feel you man.
I don't trust online dating. At the end of the day, like all apps they're designed to make money/ draw you in to keep using them so it wouldn't make much sense for them to actually work. That being said I admit I've never tried it
Fax bruh. They never answer even when I do get a match.
Girls honestly only get on dating apps just to make the profile and look at people. I doubt the majority take it seriously to find someone compared to meeting someone in person
Same except I went on one date from tinder. The pictures this chick had were from when she was 50 pounds lighter. When I met up with her my jaw dropped. I pretended my friend called with an emergency and awkwardly left... 😅
*Introverts really do thrive in environments where they can be themselves - this was super helpful!*
Me: Alright, I was thinking if learning a language anyway.
Language Class:
Woman 1: Oh my husband is pretty fluent.
Woman 2: I'm trying to find a better way to teach my boyfriend.
Woman 3: My kid is helping me.
Haha - in my experience language class has more single women than every day life - obviously soome wont' be single there.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I know. After a while, it can seem that way. I don't get out too much though so there's room for change.
or girls are gay or under 18 and you will be seein as a weirdo for trying to date a 17 y o girl.. weird world
Online dateing is a damn scam.
If you're not good looking or good at making yourself look good/interesting in photos and bio's yes! But I got my first and last girlfriend from Tinder and had a good relationship for a bit until I realised she lived too far for me. Its not for everyone, but if you have patience it can work.
Me and my boyfriend of five years beg to differ.🙂
I wouldn't go that far. The way I see it is that it's like trying to get into Harvard or Cal Tech. Many guys want women, but only the lucky few (who are usually tall, rich, and white) will actually get them.
it could be, but there’s genuinely nice girls on there looking to actually date, if they like you or not that’s a different story XD
@@Cris18Martinez its a scam I have been using them. Since I was a teenager and now I am in my middle 40s. Literally I have used them for multiple decades and on. Never have I ever gotten one damn reply. You might get lucky if your in the 1%. But thats like winning the lottery. Its a damn scam.
I didn’t realize just how introverted I was until you were scrolling down that list on MeetUp and I was actively terrified of just going to any of these..
Well keep in mind, this might not be becuase you're an introvert - it sounds more like it could be because you are shy - those aren't the same thing :)
Apparently, I have the personality of a brick
I have the personality equivalent equal to 10 pounds of shit in a 5 pound bag.
U also look like a brick
@@7moo_r977 😂😂😂😂
@@s.k.7325 same here
How u doing now my guy?
Dear Damien,
I'm not sure about the creepiness factor in taking dance classes to meet women. If your only aim is to meet women and not being interested in dancing at all, isn't that maximum creepy? I'd be really interested in a video about creepiness as I feel often being creepy lately ...
To be fair, if your only goal in any activity is to "meet women" it's going to come off as creepy. Activity is always number 1, meeting girls number 2
Yes I don't disagree - a HUGE amount here depends on how you go about it - And yes actually with any of these activities, you should be picking activities that you actually want to learn, or you won't fit in anyway, and women really won't be that interested.
@Bob Salazar basically, "creepy" occurs when incongruities between actions and/or words are given. Say, someone going out to an event only to meet women and not because of the event has an incongruity. His action states that he is interested in what is going on, yet another set of actions states that he is not interested in what is going on. Since both cannot be true at the same time, this man is obviously practicing some form of deception. Since he is being deceptive, and he is obviously after the girl, well... if you only have those two pieces of information you can assume that he only wants the girl for what she can directly offer and not for her character. Which isn't exactly flattering for anyone.
Now all of this can be easily resolved if you actually enjoy doing said activity
@Bob Salazar I think creepiness is something that men maybe don't experience in the same way as women. I think it boils down to the fact that in general, most men can physically overpower most women. For many women, especially ones who are short or physically weak, this fact is sort of engrained into the back of our minds. If anything feels off when talking to a guy, we have a natural instinct of fear or caution. We end up labelling the guy as "creepy", even if the guy had no bad intentions. I know it must be hard for men to avoid coming off as creepy, but I think the best thing you can do is shoot your shot once, then reciprocate however much attention she gives you back.
Doesnt help when you wear glasses like me either i find i have better success doing creepy shit without them 😂🤷♂️
Statistically even above average men come away with nothing after extensive use on a dating app.
Statistically yes - because statistically most men don't put in enough effort building an ideal profile - Sadly, it takes some actual work these days - I've had clients who weren't just above average, they were very attractive and still had trouble... I have clients who are just a bit above average and do very well.
It's so frustrating though, becuase it's such a competitive landscape now and can easily be very discouraging.
Most clubs that I've joined have been very inviting and made me feel welcome and comfortable. When you try to get past that social anxiety barrier it gets better each time you go, trust me.
What kind of clubs did you join
.👆You are my treasure👆
I'm 59 and find it incredibly difficult to meet any women. I've never been married, engaged or lived with anyone or have any children. it seems that everyone in my city is taken, or so they keep telling me. I've tried dating apps and websites to no avail. Oh well .....
Homie your 60 live your life atp who needs a woman at that age do what makes you happy
I'm an introvert, and I host the trivia.
And here I am watching this video to help my lil brother lol.
help me too
Poor boy, teach him trading or any sport instead 😂
@@distydz ki tl9aylou debrilna m3ak
I wish I had an older sister to help me out as well . Good luck with your brother
Wholesome
Been there, done that...zero results. I'm shy and awkward and while showing up is "half the battle", being awkward makes it pointless. Having 2 left feet quickly lets girls know you're also physically awkward and very soon you won't have anyone willing to dance with you as they will have better options. Women will smell your awkwardness from a mile away. You don't even need to walk up and talk to her and you can sense the disappointment. And I agree that online dating as a below average guy is a waste of time. I might actually get 1 date every 2-3 years...and then she gets to see my awkwardness in action and be absolutely unimpressed.
boy do I have a story. I was visiting a buddy of mine in TN and he took me to a dance lesson class. I am 6ft 9in average chub but extremely extremely poor in coordination. I'll walk with friends and randomly bump into them frequently and knock stuff over all the time. This is why I never did basketball or other sports. Anyways this place was packed with woman and men of all ages, and I absolutely was a nervous wreck before we even started. The dances were awful with me as I struggled to even do basics. I will say though that the older woman and elderly goers made it enjoyable despite my trainwreck dancing skills, but the younger ones my age (I am gen Z) were so displeased that I could feel the cringe. I ended up sitting on a bench after one of the younger ones made negative comments about me haha. Oh and don't get me going about online dating. I've used it for a combined total of 5 days over 3 years and have had nothing even worth meeting with. One magical encounter resulted in her having a 30 minute phone call that left me more confused than disgusted. I kind of am giving up for now and will just swim every day before grad school to get in shape but idk
The only reason men even have to think about these things, is because the concept of having a community is disappearing.
Agreed
I can't be arsed dating. I just wanna meet someone who likes me and have some good times.
Trouble is i find it hard to be alpha male cos I've been conditioned. Hollywood has played a big part in putting me off approaching women incase they think I'm a creep.
Seems like valuable info. I was homeschooled from 4th through 12th and had a semester of college underway before returning home due to quarantine. This video seems to apply to me greatly.
I'm an introvert but have super good social skills once I meet people and have no issues talking for hours with people. however I havnt been out for about 2 years now while focusing on my career. Im 22 and am where 27 or older people are in their lives. I just recently purchased my first home. my issue I have is I don't really have people to go to bars with to meet people my age. and the meetups in my city genuinely give me the vibe that I'm a bit young. most are 25 or older. Im just trying to come up with some ways I can get out more without anyone to meed people and expand my friend circle.
You will be on the younger side (because most 22 year old still have their highschool/college friends around) - It isn't until around 25 that people disconnect and grow apart. But that's okay, all you really need is a 'base' of friends that you can branch off from to go talk to other girls and then return to afterwards. I was alwys the youngest in my group by damn near 8-10 years.
Introvert women + Introvert men = end of love story we have not met
I’ve never had a problem with meeting women I’ve just had a problem with meeting women that I can see in person because every single person I meet is way too far away to hang out with. Is it too much to ask to meet someone within one hour? If my place
8:16
The reason why there aren't many peoples doing sports is because their P.E Teachers, Friends or Dads will have pestered them into sports (mainly Football) and stupidly think that it will get em into loving sports as much as they do but it's just making them hate it they should just let them choose what they want to do or try theres no way society is going make everyone love sports or Football no matter what try or say
That's a fact deal with it
Every social group meeting Ive ever gone to has been a sausage party, or mostly sausage mixed with a hog or two.
Lol this is great
Fit4Fun lol no it isn’t
Make more female friends
Or more male friends who have alot of female friends
@@shodak9445 real men don't usually keep female friends. When males and females are "friends," that's usually the way she decided the relationship was going to be, and he agreed. He's playing along, hoping things turn out like they do in the movies; that she'll eventually see how sweet, and wonderful, and nice he is, and she'll come around. Little does he realize that if she does come around, he'll be stuck in a horrible relationship as her subservient little bitch. But those dreams of slavery won't come true; because she's not coming around; because nice doesn't get her pussy wet. Sad but true.
What introverted man would join a dance class or play team sports? No offense... Great video but that's not what introverts do.
Dan - it's strange you say that - I know a LOT of introverts who have done exactly that - are you confusing shy - or social anxiety with Introversion? Because the two really aren't the same thing. In fact, the friend who got me into Salsa dancing is a really big introvert - stereotypically so.
Online dating has been a disaster for me. Guys has much less chance to meet girls rather than girls.
Supply and demand. I've never used online dating but when you think about it apps are designed to make money/ addict you to keep using them. It would make no sense for them to actually work (because then you'd stop using it) . Best way is to get good at attracting women in real life
“Guide for introverts” BE EXTROVERTED…
Im an ambivert
If you are in high school and want to know women(and don’t do sports), do cross country, as it is a coed sport(this works better if your coach has boys and girls run and train together). Why not track and field? I say this because cross country typically has less kids, and you run for longer distances, which means you have more time to learn how these girls work(this was the case with me as I was slow for the first year, since I had never ran before in my life, and I could take in how the girls worked before I started running with them as I was faster.) Not only that, but by the time track and field starts, you will have the foundation of talking with your girl teammates, so when track hits, you won’t feel as uncomfortable talking with girls.
One last thing, if you struggle in your first year of cross, but progressively get better, the girls will then see that and see how tough and determined you are.
Dude if you're in highschool you can literally ask out any girl around you. It's that easy.
I met several women in dance classes, some turned into girlfriends. I met my wife in Spanish language classes...go for it!
Online dating is all about the looks, confidence, and country of origin (not race).
The biggest waste of time, energy and money - once you finally find someone to quickly discover she's in dire need of financial help.
it isnt about confidence because its waaay easy to appear confident online but irl it could be a while different story...
Tinder for example...🤣🤣
Sorry but Meetup is mostly full of what I refer to as 'the people that life left behind'. Either unattractive, weird, desperate or all three. Same with speed dating.
yes i learned good looking women dont go to meetup events. they dont have to.
That test was actually incredibly accurate
Sports - Forget about tennis, soccer, basketball. These are completely male dominated, especially on the higher levels. You need something like beach volleyball.
Classes - You need something where there is interaction like acting. There was not a lot of interacting in drawing, cooking, singing. Still these classes usually run for a few weeks and you may meet only 4-5 women there. Not efficient.
Social groups - You'll meet a lot of socially awkward weird people, most women will avoid these. Rock climbing would be an exception.
Dancing - This is the best one but you need to do a partnered dance and actually learn to dance. Hip hop will be 90% 20yo females but not much natural interaction, almost the same as cold approaching. Salsa always has more guys than girls, though on the advanced level it evens out.
In my opinion it's better to bite the bullet and learn cold approaching. That is the efficient way to practice. Otherwise you will feel it's up to fate and you have no control over who you meet. Not a good place to be. Just accept it that as an introvert you will have to work harder.
Hip Hop is 90% 20yo females? That's a plus xD.
I would love to know the statistics for each dance/sport, but those are kinda hard to find - specially due to the creepiness factor =S
@@Random8181 A guy whose skills are strong needs to approach about 5 to get on with one. You can easily approach 5 in half an hour. Regardless, I was talking more about building up your skills. To do that you need to approach a lot. This video was about how to meet more women and not about whether it's worth the effort over something else. Everyone needs to make their own decision about that.
Unless you live in new york or some other metropolis, cold approaching will only get you stigmatized as "that guy who is trying to hook up every girl". In uni I had 90% girls and you had to be careful who you hit on, because as soon as you did, the news would spread like wildfire and everybody else would know.
Here in Italy we also have many people who cold approach people not for dating but for asking money or trying to sell stuff, I think you can see the problem there...
Unless you have business talking to someone, the natural reaction is to repel this person, heck even I would do this if I were a woman. Even if you cold approach for friendship there is always the "why the fuck are you talking to me?" problem
Speaking from experience, dance classes are the worst places to meet women. The vast majority of the women are there to learn how to dance and are already in relationships. I learned this the hard way and wasted a lot of money.
This should be the comment at the top. Number one reason is being in control of who you meet and not letting fate decide for you.
Joining these social groups/activities is like putting yourself in another school or work environment. Limiting yourself to whoever is in your social group. It could be girls that aren’t your first choice.
With 50% of marriages ending in divorce I truly believe one of the biggest factors is because people get with someone they truly don’t want to be with. Cold approach unfortunately is a hard reality all introverts must face if they want to be truly happy with someone they want.
Honestly after seeing a number of these videos - I think the answer is:
1. Figure out a way to level up your life. New job, make a few more bucks
2. Talk to a lot of girls along the way
3. Be cool with rejection. don’t look at a few no’s as rejection. Just part of the deal.
No risk no reward. Everything comes easy three days, a woman isn’t a microwave dinner
Yea except when tons of these women don't work on themselves since tons of men are down bad and give them attention so they don't have to. Finding a well rounded single girl who's not obese is extremely rare.
@@iHateGenZweebs ask for instagram and have a good life to show and at least a considerable portion will come
Introvert, likes solo activities, terrible social circle, no social media too, and college isn't an option
What are my chances if I don't use dating apps? Probably zero
Well... All these things are still a choice - Just becuase you're an interovert doesn't mean you are incapable of doing group activities for example.. It doesn't mean you can't approach girls during the day or night... Only that you'd prefer not to...
@@SchoolOfAttraction
I guess those are some options, though I have my concerns
Doing group activities just to "get girls" doesn't sit well with me
Also, my social skills are dogshit, don't think I would have much result with random approach, besides, it seems shallow to go only for looks...
Okay so what your saying makes sense...
We do have to do things that aren't fun to get most of the things we want... Think working 9-5 for example.. That doesn't 'sit well' with most people, but they put up with it. Although maybe just to 'get girls' is the wrong way to consider it... what about "To find a long term partner, you're going ot have to meet and date a buch of women" - that certaily has value, especially for long term happiness.
Social skills.. yeah.. this is the trap guys fall into a lot, thye have lives with not much social activity, as a result their socialskills are lacking, but you can improve those skills before you even start trying ot flirt with women.
@@SchoolOfAttraction
Okay, thanks very much for the insights!
why college is not an option? just do it
Yesterday I was at the beach and some pretty girl asked me for my IG, and now were dating, I cant believe I have found a gf omg
Congrats!
God threw u a bone there
Beach by yourself? Me too minus the gf
This is like winning the lottery level luck
Nice dude
Not politics... as a long time political junkie, I joined an electoral district association and rose through the ranks to become CEO for 3 years. No eligible single women ever showed up at events. I've tried local hiking and biking groups, but they collapsed during the lockdown and gradually restarting now. Skiing was a bust, since all bus tours were canceled. The hiking group was great because of the ad hoc carpooling arrangements- but no one's been willing to get in to another's car for 2 years. But I do have one short lived success to share. On New Year's Day, I received messages from a nearby woman through tinder, and we agreed to meet for a walk. I was determined to go for an extensive 12 km walk through a forest preserve in her area, and let her know that would appreciate her company. She said that she was (temporarily) without a car... so we arranged to meet at a parking lot near her home. I saw her, got out of the car and boldly said "I'm not in the habit of letting strange women get in to my car. You're not in the habit of getting into the car of strange men. We both want to get to this hike. So let's introduce ourselves formerly, and reach a point of comfort sufficient to convince us both that this is good risk!" That worked, and we had a good day date, and a few more that included home made dinners at my place or hers while watching a movie, with increasing physical intimacy. She ghosted me a few days into February with a message that she had not healed from her past relationships (she was twice widowed, due to cancer that killed her husband and covid related issues that killed her previous partner, and I had perhaps upset her by inviting her to share about how she had dealt with her grief- which she had not), and I miss her... but it gave me confidence to try again...
The problem with these social groups is it’s the same thing as school or work social groups. You’re limited to who is in your social group, which could be unattractive people.
Sorry fellow introverts, but you’ll have to suck it up and learn to cold approach if you really want someone you’ll be happy with.
But my p'oint is there are many social groups - you get to pick and choose - unlike school. Here where I live, I could do salsa/bachata (what are teh odds of no attractive women??) - I could take surfing lessons - I could start acroyoga etc. All of thes will likely include attractive women.
Thank u
@@SchoolOfAttraction Wow. Such introvert who loves dancing? Yep. You totally get what it means to be one. Don't say shit if you don't know.
Tried Meetup and there aren't any woman in my age group in my local meetups
Meetup only works if you live in a big city.
I hate living in a big city, but I cannot deny the fact that it provides me so many chances to meet new people and try out new activities.
True
Some cities it doesn’t work at all. I don’t have many of the same interests that the people here have. Ergo, I’m kinda left out in the dust alone.
"1 person going" lol
I’ve done all these things for a couple years and all the friends I’ve made are almost twice my age.
Social groups involve old people who are retired and have too much time.
Meetup used to be great- but 90% of all events are still online only.
Yeah this is sad huh?
Quite recently ive realized i want to be in a relationship but also not, i like the idea of being with a woman, a partner that walks the road of life with me but i dont really like most people x(
Give it time
I had my dream girl (intro too) but was too shy to do more with her (dated for 6 months) fml
3:10 but those are social events, introverts don’t like to go outside. And dating apps are terrible. It just seems like there are no good options for people who don’t like to leave their home
I mean, there can't possibly be an option for dating for someone who doesn't want to leave their homes...
My experience with introverts however is this.... 90% of introverts are experiencing too little social interaction becuase their proclivity to solitutde has become more pathological than anything else - we live in an era where it's too easy for an introvert to become socially lazy.
I don't say that as an attack on you or me or any other introvert.... It's simply a fact that in generations past, at lesat introverts would go to church and church functions - they'd attend family events and community events... They may not enjoy them as much as the average extrovert, but they'd be there and meet people.
That's missing completely now.
So YES most introverts need to be more social, not just to meet women, but for their emotional health.
Loneliness is worse than smoking for long term health outcomes.
I got two seconds into the video and started reading the comments.. looks like im going to be making a trip to the Philippines lmfao
How to meet women as an introvert: go to social events and try to break into an existing friend group
Have you figured out any good advice 4 years after this comment....? Praying you have
fuck no , that's terrifying
in Online dating, there's a lot of fake accounts, IDK why nobody mentions that.
I have in other videos - But there are still plenty of real accounts, you just ignore the fake ones - so it's not really a huge deal, just some extra left swipes
There are only 2 meetup groups within 10 miles of me. RIP
The city I'm living in has meet up groups mostly for oldies and grannies and church events, so we are on the same boat haha.
UPDATE: That number is now 0
@@downsjmmyjones101 wow, what country you from?
@@cyborggamer105 USA
@@downsjmmyjones101 You from Midwest or somethin' like that
I tried so hard but now i just left it for destiny i gave up and i think I'll die virgin
I feel like I don’t connect with people well tbh
My problem is my work has me on very inconsistent hours. I don't know what days I'll have off, and what days I work and when until Thursday at the earliest. As much as I want to join a group or two it's not very feasible for me.
All social groups in my area are only visited by seniors...
Yeah pretty much.
I am 19 and running a robotics company and don't want to invest such emotions yet at the same time I never had a gf and I wanna experience it.
I feel you man, I am wishing us both luck
We’re all gonna make it
have you went to any of those meetups? there is usually two women. You will have time to talk to one of them. when you ask out the one you were talking to, they will say" come back next meetup session, and we will have a great conversation then." that woman only attends once every 20 months. 20 months pass...they forgot that they invited you to talk to them. Dance classes suck for dating.
Your online test basically told me i'm human garbage (Abstract Thinker), which is true, the entire description was very accurate to my personality.
Wait, how is abstract thinking human garbage? I'm so confused
@@SchoolOfAttraction He means, women aren't interested in deep thinkers.
Then that makes the women garbage. We have brains. We're supposed to use them. A true woman will be attracted to intelligence which deep thinking is an aspect of.
What if I'm an introvert woman 😮 .... I'm joking I'm an introvert indeed and I found so much peace regarding getting a couple when I accepted myself. Finding a man similar to me and unique in what he enjoys has been very beautiful, when I'm with him I feel peace and he also feels it, I love him for who he is and I feel he also loves me for who I am, no interests, no stress to show off on social media, no social requirements to be judge successful, just peace and space for self development while caring for each other.... And yeah none of us were on tinder or things like that haha
Need an app for introverts. Introverts meeting introverts
True... Also with sub categories.
On interests. And preferences
Now that I’m out of college it’s hard for sure because I’m not bounded in some classroom forcing myself to be around others lol
The thing I hate about Meetup is that there are very few options, and after the pandemic 4 out of 7 groups are online
Its not that i cant talk to people its the finding where to start that is my problem especially on top of the fact its been 4 weeks since me and my gf of 5 years broke up snd its hard to move on i mainly just want someone to talk to more than a actual gf
That sort of thing is going to take more than 4 weeks to heal from man. Keep at it. This is a time for leveling up your own life. We're not meant to handle drastic changes like that, but these are what help us grow. You'll pull through to the other end if you can keep your chin up. It's alright to feel crappy too from it all. A real woman will appreciate that down the road.
so basically, if you're an introvert, then do extroverted things that you don't like doing
Introverts are perfectly capable of doing these things... IT's certainly MUCH easier to do these thigns as an introvert than it is to spend all your weekends in bars cold approaching women. Introvert OR extrovert, nobody enjoys taking the risk of talking to women... So everyone has to do stuff they don't like to hopefully get a reward...
I have to do things I don't like to make money... I enjoy my job plenty - but not all teh tasks are enjoyable.
That's essentially life.
But at least these ideas are better than the alternatives for introverts.
@@SchoolOfAttraction but if I go to yoga classes or whatever then I'll meet women that like going to yoga class. If I go to the club then I'll meet women that like clubbing. The issue with doing all these extroverts activities is you meet other exteoverts
You consider Yoga an extrovert activity? That's interesting.
What about rock climbing or bush walking or photography? Most people doing these activities are introverts in my experienve.
@@SchoolOfAttraction I like staying at home lol, it's where all my stuff is! I might be an extreme example though, idk
in my experience, online dating is not a great option, kind of a last resort/backburner activity that i do but don't put stock into. my only gf i've ever had unfortunately came from going up to a girl i didn't really know that well that worked at the school i go to and we hit it off. but it was so scary hahaha
this is some amazing advice. Your articulate your thoughts very well!!!
I absolutely REFUSE to be that “creep” who takes a cooking or ball room dancing class just to meet women.
And Meetup groups are (in my experience) 90% thirsty guys and 10% married couples looking to expand their social circle anyway.
Also...Just because she’s single doesn’t mean that she’ll want anything to do with you lol.
Confidence can begin by talking on the phone & feeling very much at ease... and sexy!
I dont get matches online and theres no social groups for me in my area
That test was great, almost got all
The same answers as jordan petersons test
Thanks
In KCK I've never seen a dance class (I've been to a ton) that wasn't easily 75% male or more.
I'm not sure what KCK is, or what dance classes you've tried, but everywhere I've been in the world ot Salsa classes (about 20 cities) women have vastly outnumbered men.
@@SchoolOfAttraction Kansas City area. I don't doubt you, I just wish that was the case here. So many guys! haha
Where are all the young single women at??
I'm an introverted woman. I struggle to meet men.
Cold approach vs warm approach what is the difference
I'm going to try this week. I'll let you know what happens. Thanks bro
How'd it go bro?
@@isaiahrodriguez6308 I think he died 😥
what happened now
bro?
How about getting a part time job on the weekends at a fast food or restaurant place? And make more money too
The first guy I ever learned any game from was a corporate lawyer who got a job at the bar I was working at solely as a way to meet women easily ;)
Those are actually good advices for at least average looking guys who are slightly introvert and who ran out of ideas, kinda like me.
So, great for me, but I think some guys out there are probably too introverted/frustrated/desperate to even attempt any of these.
Hence why you're getting some negative comments. I totally understand them though, but I want to be honest : that attitude won't get you guys anywhere.
Hey Alexandre - thanks for the logical argument point here - it's worth responding to :)
The difficulty in my mind comes when people conflate "introverted" with "Socially Anxious" they aren't the same thing - Introverts are more likely to have social anxiety becuase they are less likely to socialise when younger and build the required social experience/competence it's true..
BUT - While research strongly suggets that you can't STOP being introverted - it does clearly show that you can overcome social anxiety and have a healthy social life (albeit one where you spend less time around large groups, and spend more time alone than the average extrovert/ambivert).
I agree - men with high social anxiety - NEED to work on that first before any of these strategies are useful. And I agree, plenty of very introverted men will have social anxiety. I just want to point out that those men can and should eventually start using some of these strategies to get out more. I've worked with many introverted men who assumed their fear of social situations and their introversion was the same thing. That's sad, because then you'd feel like yoiu could never recover...
If youre very introverted but socialising only as much as you want (with no psychological issues in the way such as social anxiety) - you aren't sad or lonely or depressed. You're content and relatively happy with your lifestyle - even if its one that involves lots of alone time away from people.
@@SchoolOfAttraction You essentially said nothing dumbass. Social anxiety is caused by introversion. You essentially said, don't be an introvert. Fucking dumbass.
You meet women the same way your parents/grandparents/great-grandparents/etc. met: school, work, houses of worship, through friends, relatives, or bars/clubs/restaurants/other social environments. If you do not meet anyone, it's either because you're not trying hard enough, you need to work on your appearance, attitude/personality, or it's simply not your time yet.
Do you honestly think the dating world hasn't changed though? Most friends groups are smaller than ever - Workplace harassment is scary and daunting - religion is rarer and rareer (outside of the us especially) - family units are much less tight knit - bars are creating rules against approaching women (yeah its becoming a thing in some bars).
There are a bunch of other pressures on both men and women that never were there before and it's making it hard for both genders.
I don't believe just telling people to do it the way their parents and grandparents did it is that relevant in today's rapidly changing environment.
@@SchoolOfAttraction There is no magic bullet; you meet people by being around people.
Did you ever think maybe I don’t want to meet a women who drinks all the time? Has nothing to do with me being afraid
Sorry bud, your comment confuses me... I never suggested you'd want to meet a woman like that - I don't drink at all myself, so always prefer women who don't drink much.
what do I have to lose I'm not meeting any woman at my local super market. espically not my type plus the ratio is bad like 10 men for every nine woman I need to be at least 10 woman and guys in the 3's
Try living in a small town, tied to your work and you don't know anyone... that really works.
I don't like any of these ideas. Most women only do yoga and get drunk on the weekends. Plus I'm old. Like 50 and women my age I'm not even attracted to. My 9 year dating hiatus continues on. My next t shirt will be saying "I'm ugly on the inside too". Sums it up.
Late at night in grocery store lol.
I tried to join the Meet Up but I live in a small town and there is nothing close by going on. The other issue is men my age (50s) want younger women and get them. It is hard for us women too!
I don't wanna meet women at bars and clubs
Where's that link for how u setup that online dating profile? Hopefully it's not 4 hours to watch lol
th-cam.com/video/5yGSyfaB9wc/w-d-xo.html Here it is mate :)
I personally feel like im not worst looking guy. I can talk but i always feel like when i talk to woman i dont know what to say and i come off as boring. I think its just the talking part that makes me nervous about it,
This is really one of those things that improve with practice - it's often the overthinking of what you're going to say that's the demon here - I konw SO MANY guys who get caught up trying ot think of what to say instead of just getting out there and seeing what happens - Sometimes you get some awkward silences, but after that happens the first couple of times, think about what you could have said instead in those moments - But generally this doesn't play out in reality anywhere near as severely as it does when we picture it all happening in ouir minds.
@@SchoolOfAttraction yes i wouldnt say im shy. Its just more the fact of coming up with things to say. If the girl approaches me its easier if shes more of a talker. Another issue i find is just trying to find somewhere to meet a good girl.
Honestly - you can meet a good girl ANYWHERE - I learned that over the years - People often wonder where to meet the right kind of woman - and obviously there will be trends in teh kinds of women who visit specific kinds of places - but I've met AMAZING non-alcoholics at bars/clubs - in fact I do this regularly even though they would be the minorities at these locations - I don't drink alcohol either fyi.
BUT - what tends to happen is that we attract people who reflect what we have going on internally - so when people are constnatly meeting teh wrong kinds of partner is far more likely to be a product of them not working on something internally than them meeting women in teh wrong places.
People don't use Mirc?
1) No guy, you are not an introvert.
2) I really, really, REALLY dislike dancing.
3) I really, REALLY, REALLY dislike sports. My self-esteem drops through the floor when I've participated in sports.
Took the personality test ... meh.
Sun, yes, yes I am an introvert - I think my original phychologist who introduced me to understanding myself as an introvert might know better than you
1. What if you don't live in or near a major city
2. No classes around here, plus I am an adult
3. Online dating is trash
4 No classes around here
5. non of that around here
All of these are ok if you live in or around a major city, if you don't your fucked.
Well yeah I mean if you live nowhere near any kind of population density, you really are a bit screwed - whether you are an extrovert or an introvert. You have to be incredibly lucky that from the extremely small dating pool around your age group that there's a woman you find attractive who likes you back. But that has ALWAYS been the case in dating for millenia.
My town has none of these things.
There aren't any meetup groups. The only dance studio is for kids. I'm already on 3 dating apps and I've gotten 1 date in 2 years.
It could be because you live in a small town by the sounds of things? Small towns are always much harder.. you really need a population of at least 250,000
@@SchoolOfAttraction Yeah, I live in a town of 20k. Is there a guide for meeting women in towns my size?
There really isn't one - mostly because it's hard to meet women in a town that size - and I have no experience doing that myself.
Approach single women at grocery stores and Walmart. Say hi and some small non-threatening thing, like a compliment or about the weather. If they seem friendly at that point - say hey my name is ---, can I get your number? I am single, I have had discussions many times with a male friend (also single) and he has said that Walmart should have singles nights. Everyone is single, but no one talks to each other. MEN YOU NEED TO BE DOING THIS.
Hi, what shitty weather we had today😃
If you're not her type, then you're the weather creep.
I’m sorry but that’s terrible you’ll just be the Walmart creep
I can say I am a Introvert, homebody and hermit...too much drama out there and Karens...
Not gonna use this info for another 3 years, I know I'm stressing needlessly
What if you're too introverted to follow this advice? I feel like I'm a lost cause sometimes. . . :/
That's fair - are you sure you don't mean 'shy' rather than introverted? The two aren't teh same thing - that's why I ask - you can get over being so socially shy - whereas your introversion levels remain quite fixed.
I don't think I'm shy. I have no problem approaching people. I'm just very introverted.
Yes online dating is completely looks oriented but so is real life
Meet-up is great. I don't meet many attractive singles there though. But it gives me a chance to do something I enjoy - Game nights, Christmas parties, swing dancing etc. Online dating?? Pah! It makes introverts even worse. Introverts need to be out in real life practicing their social skills and talking to actual people.
Heh - yeah online dating is a double edged sword to be sure
I find most of these people to be on their late 30s and 40s...just not my place
Online dating is good, i met lots of people from it. 'Going out there' is very hard for introverts and it's stupid advice considering the nature of this video.
@@adamknight5089 Stupid is unnecessary. But consider that you think 'virtual reality' is the same as meeting people in real life, I can see why your perspective is skewed. The maker of this video does not know all, but even he understands it can be tricky for introverts. Cheers!
@@adj5767 You're literally restarted by continuing to attack me also
I am an extrovert in a 50+ area and have been forced to be an introvert my whole life
You have to be handsome or rich. Two options.
This is not true - do you honestly have no friends who have girlfriends/wives and aren't handsome or rich?
@@SchoolOfAttraction Honestly, not. If you're looking forward to hearing more details. My old girlfriend left me because I'm in my late 20's but still don't have a guaranteed well job and salary. I know it's also depending on the individual's character but just enlarge the contingency of the my options.
@@Pikachu-lk9yx If you are going about your life in a positive way with a good attitude, taking care of your responsibilities and some sense of direction there's really no reason why a decent woman would leave you. It has nothing to do with your bank balance.
From what i hear those two things are not the only nor the most important two things a decent women hell a decent human being would care about.
Even if you had those two things, you would probably then complain that "women are so shallow cuz all they care about is my looks and money."
Also would you even want to be with some who is that materialistic and shallow?
Wealth being neccessary is a myth, yeah sure you'll need it go get into social circles with rich girls, but for normal girls its redundant.
Some of the most successful guys out there are living in one room apartments with no furniture, yet they've got "the look" that makes women hot for them and the attitude that keeps them coming back for more.
Introvert joining dance club is like
A fish going to climb tree
💀
Totally out of picture
If you got the time, take the test it is too accurate.
Hey Damien,
I've passed your personality test recently and wanted to know if I could benefit from it in terms of personal growth. I do see that there are stats on what my personnality traits are stated to be but I don't understand how they are useful to me. I can certainly work on improving them but you're not giving any material that can help me make them better.
By the way, I found out that most of the answers that were given to me about my personality in your personality test were wrong... It's really a pity since I would've loved to work on myself more. It might be because I've passed your test really late at night while being tired, but the results that are showing are in total contradiction with who I know I am. Per exemple, it says that I'm dominant to the point where I don't accept making mistakes and usually blame others which is totally false and is weird since I've clearly stated through my answers that I'm a really growth centered person and that I LOVE getting feedback from people in everything I do (even the bad things). Though I might feel a bit awkward in a given moment about my actions, the emotions will all pass calmly because in the end I know that wether it's now or 10 years from now, it doesn't matter because I'm just going to learn my lesson, get better and move on.
Stats also say that I'm an abstract thinker, cherry picking information on attraction skills which is COMPLETELY FALSE. On top of that, it is said that I need to be intellectually stimulated during conversations when in reality I would rather eat rocks than touch a book that contains any kind of numbers in it (except my little black book). I personally love subjects like social dynamics, psychology, attraction, women and being a man and quickly get annoyed by subjects that imply hardcore science like quantum physics, physics, biology, chemistry, etc... The only reason for me to learn about these is because they're a necessity and nothing more. I would never read any book on these subjects for pure fun.
Online dating is a waste of time. Don’t even bother
I tried it for like a year now i think,my god its fucking awful.Never again do i want to try it,just going to do in real life.